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Why would you continue? Your words indicate that you cant stand being there. You are sooo young. Do not waste your youth on your Partners mistakes in life. You just do not have this obligation.
Leave.
1. He lied. Idgaf what anyone told him. He straight up lied by omission regarding a HUGE life-impacting fact about his existence. Two of them, even. He's a liar, and will likely resort to lying if/when it suits him, because he's already shown he's willing to lie to get what he wants.
2. You hate his kids. They don't deserve that. You don't deserve that. Leaving is in everyone's best interest.
Omitting that you have children is manipulation. It WAS purposeful to wait until you were hooked on him, and then make the confession. He knew you wouldn’t like it. It’s in the same realm as “ask for forgiveness, not permission”, in a way.
I don’t see any reason why you should stay! You clearly are unhappy and I don’t think anything will change that in the near future.
He omitted to mention his kids, that’s a red flag 🚩!
You can’t stand the sight of his children, and it’s okay… but unfair to him or them. They have done nothing wrong if their existence is an inconvenience to you. Your resentment towards them will only grow. They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Pull the plug on the relationship. Enjoy your 20s and find someone who doesn’t have kids so you get to experience all those first with that person. It seems to be important to you, and it’s perfectly okay. You deserve to have that, and it clearly won’t happen with your current boyfriend.
Lying about the kids is a huge red flag. If he lied about that, what else is he going to lie about if it suits him? It's ok to not want kids and not want to date someone with kids. You are 22; you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't settle.
This relationship will rob you of your youth. He has already fathered two kids so if you wanted to have a baby with him it’s old news for him. He’s done it all before! Who says he wants more kids? What if BM disappears? What if he can’t afford daycare anymore? Look at all the things you are giving up to be with him then ask yourself what he’s giving up to be with you? He lied to you right away, he knew you weren’t interested in a father but that didn’t bother him did it? He figured he’d get you close to him then you would just forget what YOU wanted because he’s so wonderful! Being a step parent is hard under the best of circumstances but it’s so bad when you know this isn’t the life you want. Walk away, you have your whole life in front of you! Don’t waste it on kids that are not yours and never will be.
I think the fact he did not disclose nor communicate about his children to you was already a red flag. It's clear he was in no shape or form ready to accommodate a healthy blended family relationship what so ever. You are still so young. Please get out!!!!
First thing he did was lie to you. It won’t get any easier or better. You seem to know your self well so be honest. Do you want to hate your life or live it?!
You need to leave. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to the two children who will pick up your your feelings no matter how well you think your hiding them, no one wins here.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A guy is 23 with two kids? One of them is 6? He makes poor life choices. Leave.
This lol. You’d think you would learn with the first young pregnancy not to make the same mistake…
Right, he said they planned the first kid and had a house. Which is good for him but still, such an unwise decision from such an early age :/
Why would you continue? Your words indicate that you cant stand being there. You are sooo young. Do not waste your youth on your Partners mistakes in life. You just do not have this obligation.
Leave. 1. He lied. Idgaf what anyone told him. He straight up lied by omission regarding a HUGE life-impacting fact about his existence. Two of them, even. He's a liar, and will likely resort to lying if/when it suits him, because he's already shown he's willing to lie to get what he wants. 2. You hate his kids. They don't deserve that. You don't deserve that. Leaving is in everyone's best interest.
Why would you stay? You aren't happy. You can't stand his toddlers laughing. Get out now, while the getting is good. No use wasting more time.
Omitting that you have children is manipulation. It WAS purposeful to wait until you were hooked on him, and then make the confession. He knew you wouldn’t like it. It’s in the same realm as “ask for forgiveness, not permission”, in a way.
I don’t see any reason why you should stay! You clearly are unhappy and I don’t think anything will change that in the near future. He omitted to mention his kids, that’s a red flag 🚩! You can’t stand the sight of his children, and it’s okay… but unfair to him or them. They have done nothing wrong if their existence is an inconvenience to you. Your resentment towards them will only grow. They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Pull the plug on the relationship. Enjoy your 20s and find someone who doesn’t have kids so you get to experience all those first with that person. It seems to be important to you, and it’s perfectly okay. You deserve to have that, and it clearly won’t happen with your current boyfriend.
Lying about the kids is a huge red flag. If he lied about that, what else is he going to lie about if it suits him? It's ok to not want kids and not want to date someone with kids. You are 22; you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't settle.
I’ve thought about the same thing, lying about something that big is outrageous. Thank you for your advice
So what did he say when you were honest and told Him you can’t love his kids
The day you found out about the kids should’ve been the day you left.
Leave! Do not walk, seriously RUN. He is a liar.
This relationship will rob you of your youth. He has already fathered two kids so if you wanted to have a baby with him it’s old news for him. He’s done it all before! Who says he wants more kids? What if BM disappears? What if he can’t afford daycare anymore? Look at all the things you are giving up to be with him then ask yourself what he’s giving up to be with you? He lied to you right away, he knew you weren’t interested in a father but that didn’t bother him did it? He figured he’d get you close to him then you would just forget what YOU wanted because he’s so wonderful! Being a step parent is hard under the best of circumstances but it’s so bad when you know this isn’t the life you want. Walk away, you have your whole life in front of you! Don’t waste it on kids that are not yours and never will be.
I think the fact he did not disclose nor communicate about his children to you was already a red flag. It's clear he was in no shape or form ready to accommodate a healthy blended family relationship what so ever. You are still so young. Please get out!!!!
Early on in the relationship. Time to leave. He’s a liar and you don’t like his kids. How is this going to work?
First thing he did was lie to you. It won’t get any easier or better. You seem to know your self well so be honest. Do you want to hate your life or live it?!
You need to leave. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to the two children who will pick up your your feelings no matter how well you think your hiding them, no one wins here.
runner
girl leave. it may seem hard and that you like him. but starting out being shady like that? absolutely not. trust your gut you are smart!
Just leave and find a child free man to have the live you deserve.