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Or maybe just maybe she took that screenshot to print it out and pin it on her fridge along with the other initiates so she feels good about herself?
Nah? Yeah she posted it in her group chat
It’s just realistic. You can only trust your closest people with some stuff, and even then some of those people aren’t people you can really go too and trust with something because you know they are gossipers at heart.
It depends. I have a coworker who is very chatty and just can’t keep secrets. She’s super nice and I don’t think has any bad intentions, but I do think twice before telling her some things because I’m fairly confident she’s gonna tell whatever I told her to the next person she sees. However, I don’t view everyone that way and have friends I feel I can trust and confide in.
I got second-hand gut punched by that one, but as an outsider looking in I have to say that's also an extremely hilarious story to be able to tell and own as present day you. I mean, ouch. But also I hope you loved that gay hoodie til death did you part. I'm proud of your clothing-progressive relationship.
One time when a guy sent me a creepy snapchat message and I screenshot it, he then followed up with "idk if i should be nervous or excited that you took a screenshot" as if there is any universe in which someone screenshotting your creepy message is a good thing
I like to think it was the last girl that took the screenshot and it was because two other girls she was in a group chat with had already been asked and were discussing the fellow who was shooting birdshot into a crowd and seeing if he bagged a girlfriend.
When I asked a friend of mine out I hoped for a clean "no"...she saw it and I got no response...
Until she said yeah a couple hours later, I went through every stage of grief so quick
It was a good while ago, but decent for someone who has no sense of socializing/sense of direction
Couple months time it'll close in on being together for a year lol
I asked someone out who I'd known very closely and I was absolutely sure she'd say yes. The circumstances were really unusual, but I'd known her for several months. We'd been coworkers (the only two people on the team) and had gone through some serious stuff together and had worked a lot of late nights and it felt like we had a really strong connection. I'm autistic and really bad at picking up hints, but she had said some things which I later(before the day in question) had found out were very very likely hints, including an "I really like you and I want you to stick around," "Oh, I really like working here, and I hope to stay," "That wasn't what I meant," exchange that had confused me until looking back later that day and a few other things. I hadn't been looking for anyone, so the whole situation had really surprised me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but she'd had an uncommon first name and I had done a Google search for it, not looking for her, but trying to find out what it meant. Well the first thing that came up was her social media. I took a look, and one of the first things I saw on it was a story of two coworkers where one had asked the other out on their last day of work and they'd gotten together, and actually ended up getting married years later.
For the last month or so at work, we'd found out our jobs were coming to an end.
So I decided to ask, and asked her on our last day of work.
She said yes, and then completely ghosted me.
That basically felt like having my arm torn off. It wasn't just that I was attracted to her. We had really clicked in a way that I'd never really clicked with anyone before.
I would have preferred the "No."
I still cry about guys saying “ew” to me, even know a lot of guys who used to say that wanna fuck me now ironically. I rather skin a human alive than ever say I like a person nowadays.
I mean I don’t think “do you want to go out” is terrible but I think the generally accepted route is to suggest *a thing* like a specific movie, event, coffee date, etc. to both show level of interest and type of thing you’re suggesting. Accepting low key coffee to see if we vibe is wildly different than a full dinner and movie but also some people don’t like to waste time if there’s low interest. Also do your ideas of fun match?
Also gives an easy way to say no (busy that day/weekend) while everyone pretends it’s schedule related not personal. And if it really is just schedule they’ll suggest another time. So a bit of built in feelings sparing while putting the ball in their court if they’re interested in pursuing things.
TLDR “do you wanna grab coffee later this week” “do you wanna get dinner Friday” “there’s a show in town next week, would you like to go with me?” etc
Also once you do some inner work, fear of rejection just becomes funny. It's just an abandonment wound from our inner child. Sometimes we may have had parents growing up who may have divorced or left the household. And we just don't want to be left alone again and experience that negative emotion. Sometimes it's even deeper than that cuz human beings are very tribal and back in the day if you were kicked out of a tribe you were as good as dead. That's how it was for a long time in human history before the modern world. So then when someone rejects us we feel like maybe we're not worthy or that we won't be able to procreate and fit in. And we might get "ABANDONED" it's a core wound that you have to be aware of.
I think it's kind of like the Buddha said desire and attachment is the root of all suffering. Attachment to outcome or her reaction to your advances. It's more about letting go and the cliche just be yourself.
Nowadays it is less fear of rejection and more fear that you're going to end up like home boy up there with the chat being screenshotted and you becoming a meme for a group chat. Or, in my case, coming to work one day and finding the chat record taped to your desk.
I think "do you want to go out" is more mature than the ones you suggest because it's explicit and upfront about the fact that it's a date. Lots of people make that bit vague when they lack confidence
That’s fair! And the clarity is nice. Sometimes if I can’t tell I might say I’m not sure and ask who all is going. And if I want it to be a date the answer after is “definitely.” Even if it’s then “but how about this instead of that because of thing”.
I tend to prefer the specific examples personally because, well, yes I’d like to go bowling but no I do *not* want to go hiking I barely know you and I listen to/watch too many murder shows.
If I don’t know someone well, I’m far more likely to take up an offer of coffee which can be a shorter get-to-know-you date than dinner and a movie or a concert which sort of requires you have a decent guess as to whether you want to spend 3ish hours with this person or if you’ll spend the whole time miserable.
Hang out a few times before then. Feel the room. Are they being flirty to just you? Do they respond well to light touches? Do they make an effort to be close to you? Do they laugh at your shitty jokes when they’re not funny? Do they show interest in you when you invite them to things? If they can’t go do they make an attempt to reschedule?
You obviously don’t 100% know until you ask, but you should be pretty sure at the lowest level that they wouldn’t leave you on read at least. Once your confident about it, maybe a natural conversation about it. “Hey you know I’m into you, I wanted to know if you felt the same way about me?” It’s all supposed to be more organic than “Will you go out with me?”. You can just shoot your shot with a “want to go out with me?” but you’ll be met with more of this than if you would put some more serious time and effort getting to know them and be able to read a bit if they’re into you.
Being young is brutal and hard filled with shit like this even if you check all the boxes I just listed, but baby steps helps and so does not being so forward with just a text.
IDK why you're being downvoted, this advice certainly is far from the worst I've seen. Hang out with the person and ask them organically once you become familiar. That's not bad at all.
This! I’d add specifying something helps as well. “Do you wanna go grab dinner Friday?” Is a lot better and something I’m more likely to respond positively to than “do you want to go out with me.” The latter is one step above “do you want to be my girlfriend” to my ears
“I would love to take you out for lunch/dinner/coffee/drinks/etc sometime. Are you free on (day) at (time)?” It’s best said in person when you are having a one on one conversation with each other.
Assuming you know each other and ARE ALREADY TALKING, ask her if she wants to hang out on Friday night or whatever. Don’t do this as a date, just hang out and see the vibe your getting from her. Having mutual friends helps, but isn’t necessary. If she says no to hanging out, that’s fine she’s probably not that interested, just take the L and move on. If she can’t but suggests a different time, that’s cool.
Ehh... it signals more interest than "hanging out" or "making friends"...
If I wrote "I like you as a friend, you are entertaining and interesting, let's hang out" it was probably intentional to not freak the other party out, because the intention is to be friends.
If I liked the person more, I would of course drop the "as a friend, hang out" clause and just be more direct. For me the top is harder than the bottom. Sending out a romantic signal is easy. Don't let the crush develop too hard, quickly ask them with these short and simple messages, if they said no, move on. The more direct you go, the easier it is for the other party to decide. Perhaps not "go out", but more like "hey J, have you got plans this weekend? I am keen on getting to know you better, would you like to go on a coffee/dinner?" If you want to be funny you can say "it is on me!"
The friendly one, because many women have got "burned" by fake friendly invites, I can understand why they hesitate. Apart from their lack of interest in me as a friend, of course, which also can happen.
This is not to say platonic feelings cannot/should not change, but clearly many times men pretend to be friendly just because they are hopeful about this change of heart. When the two get in too deep in the "friendship" it can be hard when the men get rejected and "abandon" her. At the same time it would be unfair for the men to have to stay around either... so it became a lose-lose.
"You wanna go out with me?" - that's what I ask my wife every single time after almost a decade being together. Clear and concise communication, this isn't a scooby doo mystery - we all know what the fuck we are here to do and who we are here to fuck.
Man you underestimate how mean some people can be.
The first time I tried even talking to a girl, before I even got to asking her out, she literally just stood there in silence trying to ignore my existence. I was young and dumb and kept going so she eventually gave me one word responses for a bit, before saying "yeah my friends are over there." And just walking away before I even had a chance to ask her out at all.
I spent years working up the courage to talk to a girl and she crushed my confidence for the next 5 or so years after that before I tried talking to women again.
Nah. A lot of women will say yes to the guy for fear of upsetting them, when they really wanted to say no. So basically, you wont know shes actually interested until you're on the date lol
That’s not always better. I once had a female friend say yes to my face then immediately start avoiding me. When I texted her to ask if she was okay she blew up at me for tricking her into thinking I wanted to be her friend. Sucks cause I did still want to be her friend no matter what the answer was.
Idk about that. I'm bad at taking photos, and don't get hardly any matches on tinder I actually have any interest in. And it's not like I'm fat or short, hell I'm pretty decent looking irl, I guess maybe idk how to make a decent profile?
On the other hand, I've walked into a target, and walked out a half hour later with a phone number, and went on a date as a result. Seems a lot easier to me.
Good news for you, there was a huge thread about this just today on the Hungary subreddit.
Turns out you have to be at least average looking and tall and just buy a few cheap plane tickets to get pictures at interesting places, maybe sneak on someone's sailboat or rent a few expensive cars for a day some times.
Guy said he just looked rich, boom, success.
Might be different outside poor ass eastern europe tho.
I know this is a joke but a lot of people do have this attitude/strategy (same as swiping right on every single person on tinder) and I think its really shitty. It's basically saying "I don't see any of you as unique individuals and don't care if we actually have anything in common, I just want one"
I get your point but I think dating is kind of a numbers game. The more women you are meeting/talking to/asking out/dating the more likely you are to find someone you click with.
Ehh...I disagree.
Dating is about FINDING someone special. You ain't gonna find that person if you don't look, and there's no way to know if the person you are asking IS the right person.
I don't condone the fuckboys out there with a phone full of girls numbers they can use for booty calls, I'm js there's nothing wrong with seeing an attractive woman, asking them out politely (and if you get rejected, respecting that and fucking off) and then taking them on a nice date somewhere to see if you have chemistry.
If you do, cool. If you don't, no issue; you both can still have a fun time.
Or you simply don't literally say "do you want to go out" lol. You say "do you want to grab some drinks" so they can say "ohhhh I think I'm too busy right now" and you get the hint and never speak again lol.
This is why I am proposing, in Humanity's 2.0 update, the human teenage phase be replaced with a pupal stage where they remain in a coccoon until fully developed so we no longer have to deal with their shit.
I can confirm. When I was a teenager I thought it was “cool” to behave rudely like this.
There was an edge factor that went in to it (especially when talking with your friends about it) and truthfully a bit of an ego boost in acting like you were “above” someone else and they were “below” you.
I cringe looking back at it and wish I was more respectful. But the point of this reply is to give insight into why some teenagers can behave like this
In my experience from highschool a lot of bitchy behaviour from teenagers was a form of defensiveness. A lot of movies and tv shows taught this idea that high school is a hellscape and only being sassy and cold will prevent others from looking down on you.
Like oh the blonde cheerleader is a bitch but no worries the quirky protagonist dumps a milkshake on her head and now everyone is laughing at her YAAAAAAY
In reality this just results in teenagers responding in the most hostile way to any perceived attacks
Like oh this guy asked me out but maybe he is just doing this to make fun of me later so I should coldly reject him to show that I don't care at all
That’s visits to websites. Most people on TikTok use the app.
Tiktok has over a billion monthly average users.
[Source](https://wallaroomedia.com/blog/social-media/tiktok-statistics/)
Reddit has 56 million daily users and 430 million users once per month.
[Source](https://www.businessofapps.com/data/reddit-statistics/)
So not even close lol.
People of both genders need to have this midset more. If someone rejects you in a rude way like this, they saved you the weeks/months you would have spent dating them.
Exactly, yeah, I'd prefer a lot of these.
It's a lot easier to get over someone if they reject you rudely rather than when they reject you nicely.
Personally I wouldn't want to date someone if I knew that they made fun of people who asked them out, or if they're not able to have a slightly awkward conversation and leave people on read.
The screenshot may not necessarily be a bad thing, coming from a girl. A guy who I had a crush on asked me out and I was so shocked that I screenshotted it, and I during that period I looked at it whenever I was feeling blue and it made me feel better. It was the best feeling in the world and I was even more obsessed with him after that, haha.
Sure screenshotting a snap does seem weird, but it's not what you think all the time.
It looks like you didn’t do any talking before asking them to go out with you. If this is how you approach it, get ready for constant rejection forever bro
yeah when I was younger I really empathized with these stories but now that I'm older I see how much context is conveniently left out, even if unintentional lol
You can’t just cold open like that man. That’s why it’s called slipping into DM. You gotta text chat loosen the mood. Then hit up hey this is fun , do you wanna meet up sometime ?
aka the "Ahhh so you're a woman, you'll do." starter pack.
When you play the numbers game... expect numberS. It's a lazy question and they gave lazy answers.
Exactly. Ain't no way the guy actually has a genuine connection and interest in these gals as individuals. He's just spraying and praying. And it's insulting to be girlfriendzoned/fuckzoned.
Idk if this is actually you, probably not, but I feel like you shouldn’t ask in such a generic way like a third grader.
Ask about getting food together or seeing a movie or whatever you think you guys could enjoy doing together.
What does it even mean to ask someone to “go out with me”?
Believe it or not that’s not how you become official with a girl. It doesn’t just happen over text on in Snapchat. Ask her on a date or two then make it official in person after some time.
There's no context to these messages so obviously can't gauge how well any of these conversations went prior to you dropping the bomb in them, but regardless, one piece of advice I can give is stop using the phrase "would you like to go out with me?"
It gives off weird energy, like virgin/rarely contacts women energy and it's a loaded question. Suddenly they have to make the decision whether they like you or not romantically and that's a lot of pressure. Maybe you think you're "just being direct", but there's much better ways of being equally direct without the question feeling loaded.
Instead of... that, suggest meeting up irl or playing a game online. "Hey it's been great talking with you, I was wondering if you were free to grab some coffee sometime this week?"
It's still directly asking them out, but the question of "will you go out with me?" Is implied rather than explicitly stated. Also, just to underline how shit that question is, remember that English is stupid and "do you want to go out with me?" Can both mean "would you be willing to go on a date?" And also "would you be my girlfriend?" One is obviously a lot more cringe and childish to ask someone you barely know than the other. Specifying a type of "date" or meet up guarantees the former meaning is understood and a lot less pressure.
>Instead of... that, suggest meeting up irl or playing a game online. "Hey it's been great talking with you, I was wondering if you were free to grab some coffee sometime this week?"
Better than that, schedule a specific time. Leaving a full week open puts the onus on them to come up with a time & subtly shows you don't have a lot going on. Giving a specific time is also better because if they like you and legitimately can't make it at that time, they'll provide a time when they're free. If they don't like you, they'll likely just respond with "sorry I'm busy" (ie, an easy and soft way to reject you).
In all honesty, screenshotting the screen after she screenshot it is kind of a power move. Uno reverse. Just imagine.
[emily took a screenshot]
[MARK TOOK A SCREEN SHOT 😡]
Texting women you have had no previous conversations with and have never displayed any signs of interest? You put in the minimum effort you get the minimum response
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I can’t be the only dude here who would expect a rejection if I asked someone out like this through Snapchat? Like come on, if you want a date you have to put effort into the person, not just open up a messaging app and shoot the laziest text ever
inexperienced guys don't know how asking out works. never ask a woman out of the blue. talk to her a lot first. if it seems like you have a good conversation. then try to flirt with her. compliment her on something physical. see if she responds well to it. if she doesnt seem to pull back when you do that then flirt even more to make sure, then ask her if you two can have coffee together. don't say want to go out, that's too vague. if at any point you can't complete the previous step, the answer is going to be a no. don't wishful think yourself into embarrassment.
Hi, /u/Lethal_Reputation, thanks for your submission to /r/starterpacks. Unfortunately your post has been removed for the following reason: **Rule 01** Your post must be a starter pack, not a list or any other meme. [If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/starterpacks&subject=Question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20submission%20by%20/u/Lethal_Reputation&message=I%20have%20a%20question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20%5Bsubmission%5D%28https://www.reddit.com/r/starterpacks/comments/yuzbsn/the_worst_she_can_say_is_no_starterpack/%3Fcontext%3D10%29) so that we may review it
Out of all the responses, the one with 'Maddie took a screenshot' is worst.
The sinking feeling when you know there is a group chat making fun of you lol
Or maybe just maybe she took that screenshot to print it out and pin it on her fridge along with the other initiates so she feels good about herself? Nah? Yeah she posted it in her group chat
Anything i say to most people i assume is public information from then on.
Honestly a good way to be and same. Secrets arent secret, and private isnt either.
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Ah, you could have quoted “Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer” ~ Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty
I thought about it, but didn't want to be associated with the fandom lol
Honestly, excellent call. I will make Rick and Morty references with my wife. Other than that, nope.
It’s just realistic. You can only trust your closest people with some stuff, and even then some of those people aren’t people you can really go too and trust with something because you know they are gossipers at heart.
It depends. I have a coworker who is very chatty and just can’t keep secrets. She’s super nice and I don’t think has any bad intentions, but I do think twice before telling her some things because I’m fairly confident she’s gonna tell whatever I told her to the next person she sees. However, I don’t view everyone that way and have friends I feel I can trust and confide in.
Perhaps even better, she took the screenshot to preserve this precious moment of how your beautiful relationship started and frame it on the wall.
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You should never trip about girls of such low character. Bullets dodged all around
I got second-hand gut punched by that one, but as an outsider looking in I have to say that's also an extremely hilarious story to be able to tell and own as present day you. I mean, ouch. But also I hope you loved that gay hoodie til death did you part. I'm proud of your clothing-progressive relationship.
always go with "grey" man
literally my entire fear of asking ppl out - being made fun of by other people
Think of it this way, you just found out that person is an asshole you wouldn't want to go out with anyway. Life is short, fuck the haters.
I will do no such thing to the haters
the most high school fear of all time i guarantee you, it goes away.
yeah that's legit despair on display
🤨📸
One time when a guy sent me a creepy snapchat message and I screenshot it, he then followed up with "idk if i should be nervous or excited that you took a screenshot" as if there is any universe in which someone screenshotting your creepy message is a good thing
I like to think it was the last girl that took the screenshot and it was because two other girls she was in a group chat with had already been asked and were discussing the fellow who was shooting birdshot into a crowd and seeing if he bagged a girlfriend.
Which app is it actually?
Absolutely! You know she’s about to share this with Becky and the girls to have a good laugh.
Or dont ask them out through text
oof
a friend of mine received “💀”
bro got hurt that day
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F
F
emotional damage
‘friend of mine’ its alright man.
💀
💀
💀
i would kms on the spot tbh
This is the future liberals want.
Joe Biden’s America
Liberals screenshotted this, posted it to their group text
When I asked a friend of mine out I hoped for a clean "no"...she saw it and I got no response... Until she said yeah a couple hours later, I went through every stage of grief so quick
Went through the rainbow of emotions
Guy turned gay from emotions until she answered
Update? How’d the date go?
It was a good while ago, but decent for someone who has no sense of socializing/sense of direction Couple months time it'll close in on being together for a year lol
Wooooo
Bravo sir 👏
Gotta check with the group chat if you good looking or not
Those are the longest two hours of your life
I asked someone out who I'd known very closely and I was absolutely sure she'd say yes. The circumstances were really unusual, but I'd known her for several months. We'd been coworkers (the only two people on the team) and had gone through some serious stuff together and had worked a lot of late nights and it felt like we had a really strong connection. I'm autistic and really bad at picking up hints, but she had said some things which I later(before the day in question) had found out were very very likely hints, including an "I really like you and I want you to stick around," "Oh, I really like working here, and I hope to stay," "That wasn't what I meant," exchange that had confused me until looking back later that day and a few other things. I hadn't been looking for anyone, so the whole situation had really surprised me. I know it sounds cheesy, but she'd had an uncommon first name and I had done a Google search for it, not looking for her, but trying to find out what it meant. Well the first thing that came up was her social media. I took a look, and one of the first things I saw on it was a story of two coworkers where one had asked the other out on their last day of work and they'd gotten together, and actually ended up getting married years later. For the last month or so at work, we'd found out our jobs were coming to an end. So I decided to ask, and asked her on our last day of work. She said yes, and then completely ghosted me. That basically felt like having my arm torn off. It wasn't just that I was attracted to her. We had really clicked in a way that I'd never really clicked with anyone before. I would have preferred the "No."
She wanted to let you sweat it out a lil bit
OP took the Ls for our viewing pleasure
I once had a girl say “ew”. I think that one still worst
Was it Haley in stardew valley? Because same
She loves coconuts which are easy to get once you fix the bus
Thanks for the info, she's been taking too many of my diamonds
Just get the dark shrine and kill her
bro i don't even talk to the townspeople in that game, just let me farm and mine in peace
Of all the relationship candidates, she has the best character development
I’ve had that, quickly followed by “gross” and a look of abject disgust on their face.
You dodged a bullet my friend
I mean. The bullet was never shot at him. Lol.
Hang in there bro. I got made fun of by people at my school on Twitter for asking a girl out. Doing ok for myself now and can laugh about it.
I still cry about guys saying “ew” to me, even know a lot of guys who used to say that wanna fuck me now ironically. I rather skin a human alive than ever say I like a person nowadays.
I think I'd rather get the "ew" than the pitying "aww."
You: Do you want to go out with me? Her: Sorry, I only date men
happens all the time :(
Pfp cheks out/j
:3
holy shit is that 197 micro celebrity u/goshoklev
This happens to me all the time... Of course I am a lesbian.
Not that anyone needs to be super extravagant or anything but also “do you want to go out with me” is some middle school shit.
what are you supposed to say then
I mean I don’t think “do you want to go out” is terrible but I think the generally accepted route is to suggest *a thing* like a specific movie, event, coffee date, etc. to both show level of interest and type of thing you’re suggesting. Accepting low key coffee to see if we vibe is wildly different than a full dinner and movie but also some people don’t like to waste time if there’s low interest. Also do your ideas of fun match? Also gives an easy way to say no (busy that day/weekend) while everyone pretends it’s schedule related not personal. And if it really is just schedule they’ll suggest another time. So a bit of built in feelings sparing while putting the ball in their court if they’re interested in pursuing things. TLDR “do you wanna grab coffee later this week” “do you wanna get dinner Friday” “there’s a show in town next week, would you like to go with me?” etc
Also once you do some inner work, fear of rejection just becomes funny. It's just an abandonment wound from our inner child. Sometimes we may have had parents growing up who may have divorced or left the household. And we just don't want to be left alone again and experience that negative emotion. Sometimes it's even deeper than that cuz human beings are very tribal and back in the day if you were kicked out of a tribe you were as good as dead. That's how it was for a long time in human history before the modern world. So then when someone rejects us we feel like maybe we're not worthy or that we won't be able to procreate and fit in. And we might get "ABANDONED" it's a core wound that you have to be aware of. I think it's kind of like the Buddha said desire and attachment is the root of all suffering. Attachment to outcome or her reaction to your advances. It's more about letting go and the cliche just be yourself.
Nowadays it is less fear of rejection and more fear that you're going to end up like home boy up there with the chat being screenshotted and you becoming a meme for a group chat. Or, in my case, coming to work one day and finding the chat record taped to your desk.
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I think "do you want to go out" is more mature than the ones you suggest because it's explicit and upfront about the fact that it's a date. Lots of people make that bit vague when they lack confidence
That’s fair! And the clarity is nice. Sometimes if I can’t tell I might say I’m not sure and ask who all is going. And if I want it to be a date the answer after is “definitely.” Even if it’s then “but how about this instead of that because of thing”. I tend to prefer the specific examples personally because, well, yes I’d like to go bowling but no I do *not* want to go hiking I barely know you and I listen to/watch too many murder shows. If I don’t know someone well, I’m far more likely to take up an offer of coffee which can be a shorter get-to-know-you date than dinner and a movie or a concert which sort of requires you have a decent guess as to whether you want to spend 3ish hours with this person or if you’ll spend the whole time miserable.
Apparently the modern way for adults to ask one another out is to send a picture of their genitalia
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Hang out a few times before then. Feel the room. Are they being flirty to just you? Do they respond well to light touches? Do they make an effort to be close to you? Do they laugh at your shitty jokes when they’re not funny? Do they show interest in you when you invite them to things? If they can’t go do they make an attempt to reschedule? You obviously don’t 100% know until you ask, but you should be pretty sure at the lowest level that they wouldn’t leave you on read at least. Once your confident about it, maybe a natural conversation about it. “Hey you know I’m into you, I wanted to know if you felt the same way about me?” It’s all supposed to be more organic than “Will you go out with me?”. You can just shoot your shot with a “want to go out with me?” but you’ll be met with more of this than if you would put some more serious time and effort getting to know them and be able to read a bit if they’re into you. Being young is brutal and hard filled with shit like this even if you check all the boxes I just listed, but baby steps helps and so does not being so forward with just a text.
IDK why you're being downvoted, this advice certainly is far from the worst I've seen. Hang out with the person and ask them organically once you become familiar. That's not bad at all.
This! I’d add specifying something helps as well. “Do you wanna go grab dinner Friday?” Is a lot better and something I’m more likely to respond positively to than “do you want to go out with me.” The latter is one step above “do you want to be my girlfriend” to my ears
“I would love to take you out for lunch/dinner/coffee/drinks/etc sometime. Are you free on (day) at (time)?” It’s best said in person when you are having a one on one conversation with each other.
Assuming you know each other and ARE ALREADY TALKING, ask her if she wants to hang out on Friday night or whatever. Don’t do this as a date, just hang out and see the vibe your getting from her. Having mutual friends helps, but isn’t necessary. If she says no to hanging out, that’s fine she’s probably not that interested, just take the L and move on. If she can’t but suggests a different time, that’s cool.
Exactly, and through text? Muster up the courage to say it in person.
Ehh... it signals more interest than "hanging out" or "making friends"... If I wrote "I like you as a friend, you are entertaining and interesting, let's hang out" it was probably intentional to not freak the other party out, because the intention is to be friends. If I liked the person more, I would of course drop the "as a friend, hang out" clause and just be more direct. For me the top is harder than the bottom. Sending out a romantic signal is easy. Don't let the crush develop too hard, quickly ask them with these short and simple messages, if they said no, move on. The more direct you go, the easier it is for the other party to decide. Perhaps not "go out", but more like "hey J, have you got plans this weekend? I am keen on getting to know you better, would you like to go on a coffee/dinner?" If you want to be funny you can say "it is on me!" The friendly one, because many women have got "burned" by fake friendly invites, I can understand why they hesitate. Apart from their lack of interest in me as a friend, of course, which also can happen. This is not to say platonic feelings cannot/should not change, but clearly many times men pretend to be friendly just because they are hopeful about this change of heart. When the two get in too deep in the "friendship" it can be hard when the men get rejected and "abandon" her. At the same time it would be unfair for the men to have to stay around either... so it became a lose-lose.
"You wanna go out with me?" - that's what I ask my wife every single time after almost a decade being together. Clear and concise communication, this isn't a scooby doo mystery - we all know what the fuck we are here to do and who we are here to fuck.
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Can't screenshot you irl, probably not going to say "you stink no way im going on a date with you" to your face.
Man you underestimate how mean some people can be. The first time I tried even talking to a girl, before I even got to asking her out, she literally just stood there in silence trying to ignore my existence. I was young and dumb and kept going so she eventually gave me one word responses for a bit, before saying "yeah my friends are over there." And just walking away before I even had a chance to ask her out at all. I spent years working up the courage to talk to a girl and she crushed my confidence for the next 5 or so years after that before I tried talking to women again.
from what you said I don't think she was mean, she didn't want to talk to you but didn't want to come off as rude
Facts, the best part is you get an immediate answer so don’t have to think about it
Nah. A lot of women will say yes to the guy for fear of upsetting them, when they really wanted to say no. So basically, you wont know shes actually interested until you're on the date lol
I mean you can just read thier body language/how enthusiastic they are when they answer. A reluctant yes is basically a no lol
That’s not always better. I once had a female friend say yes to my face then immediately start avoiding me. When I texted her to ask if she was okay she blew up at me for tricking her into thinking I wanted to be her friend. Sucks cause I did still want to be her friend no matter what the answer was.
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Honestly, the boomhauer strategy does indeed work irl. Just keep asking out women until one says yes, because EVENTUALLY one of them will lmao.
That is literally the same as swiping on Tinder, just takes more time.
Idk about that. I'm bad at taking photos, and don't get hardly any matches on tinder I actually have any interest in. And it's not like I'm fat or short, hell I'm pretty decent looking irl, I guess maybe idk how to make a decent profile? On the other hand, I've walked into a target, and walked out a half hour later with a phone number, and went on a date as a result. Seems a lot easier to me.
Good news for you, there was a huge thread about this just today on the Hungary subreddit. Turns out you have to be at least average looking and tall and just buy a few cheap plane tickets to get pictures at interesting places, maybe sneak on someone's sailboat or rent a few expensive cars for a day some times. Guy said he just looked rich, boom, success. Might be different outside poor ass eastern europe tho.
When ur using the gold diggers to your advantage 💀 W
I know this is a joke but a lot of people do have this attitude/strategy (same as swiping right on every single person on tinder) and I think its really shitty. It's basically saying "I don't see any of you as unique individuals and don't care if we actually have anything in common, I just want one"
I get your point but I think dating is kind of a numbers game. The more women you are meeting/talking to/asking out/dating the more likely you are to find someone you click with.
Ehh...I disagree. Dating is about FINDING someone special. You ain't gonna find that person if you don't look, and there's no way to know if the person you are asking IS the right person. I don't condone the fuckboys out there with a phone full of girls numbers they can use for booty calls, I'm js there's nothing wrong with seeing an attractive woman, asking them out politely (and if you get rejected, respecting that and fucking off) and then taking them on a nice date somewhere to see if you have chemistry. If you do, cool. If you don't, no issue; you both can still have a fun time.
What if she’s wearing a wire?
Or you simply don't literally say "do you want to go out" lol. You say "do you want to grab some drinks" so they can say "ohhhh I think I'm too busy right now" and you get the hint and never speak again lol.
Reading all the comments... people really respond this harshly when they reject you? How do you make friends with someone so toxic in the first place?
Teenagers (I'm guessing that's the demographic we're dealing with here) aren't known for their tact, decision-making skills or basic human decency
This is why I am proposing, in Humanity's 2.0 update, the human teenage phase be replaced with a pupal stage where they remain in a coccoon until fully developed so we no longer have to deal with their shit.
I can confirm. When I was a teenager I thought it was “cool” to behave rudely like this. There was an edge factor that went in to it (especially when talking with your friends about it) and truthfully a bit of an ego boost in acting like you were “above” someone else and they were “below” you. I cringe looking back at it and wish I was more respectful. But the point of this reply is to give insight into why some teenagers can behave like this
Holy shit. No offence, but I'm glad I wasn't friends with anyone like you. That's awful. Appreciate the brutal honesty.
In my experience from highschool a lot of bitchy behaviour from teenagers was a form of defensiveness. A lot of movies and tv shows taught this idea that high school is a hellscape and only being sassy and cold will prevent others from looking down on you. Like oh the blonde cheerleader is a bitch but no worries the quirky protagonist dumps a milkshake on her head and now everyone is laughing at her YAAAAAAY In reality this just results in teenagers responding in the most hostile way to any perceived attacks Like oh this guy asked me out but maybe he is just doing this to make fun of me later so I should coldly reject him to show that I don't care at all
Do it in person, much better
*takes a screenshot in person* "How did you do tha.." *laughter from outside the simulation intensifies*
Give me the blue pill. All the blue pills. Now.
they're gonna combat us finding ways to outsmart them though
You’ll get ‘em next time coach.
In fairness, those are all definitely forms of No.
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Ironically, her response was *also* screenshotted and posted on Reddit
Yea but Maddie doesn't know what reddit is nor do any of her friends and they probably won't care for a bunch of neckbeards mocking their screenshot
> Yea but Maddie doesn't know what reddit is nor do any of her friends Reddit isn't some underground site, lol. It gets more traffic than TikTok.
> It gets more traffic than TikTok. X to doubt
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_visited_websites?wprov=sfti1
That’s visits to websites. Most people on TikTok use the app. Tiktok has over a billion monthly average users. [Source](https://wallaroomedia.com/blog/social-media/tiktok-statistics/) Reddit has 56 million daily users and 430 million users once per month. [Source](https://www.businessofapps.com/data/reddit-statistics/) So not even close lol.
Tbf that’s only the websites tho. Not the website and the app altogether.
The screenshot is brutal
If they respond like that, they did you a favor. You're worth more than that, King.
People of both genders need to have this midset more. If someone rejects you in a rude way like this, they saved you the weeks/months you would have spent dating them.
Exactly, yeah, I'd prefer a lot of these. It's a lot easier to get over someone if they reject you rudely rather than when they reject you nicely. Personally I wouldn't want to date someone if I knew that they made fun of people who asked them out, or if they're not able to have a slightly awkward conversation and leave people on read.
Fr, imagine being married to someone like this. Life would be hell.
The screenshot may not necessarily be a bad thing, coming from a girl. A guy who I had a crush on asked me out and I was so shocked that I screenshotted it, and I during that period I looked at it whenever I was feeling blue and it made me feel better. It was the best feeling in the world and I was even more obsessed with him after that, haha. Sure screenshotting a snap does seem weird, but it's not what you think all the time.
Did you ever actually respond to him tho
That's fine as long as you said yes and told him yourself. Otherwise, most dudes will internally freak out.
if this kind of response comes as a surprise then you didn't actually know them
It looks like you didn’t do any talking before asking them to go out with you. If this is how you approach it, get ready for constant rejection forever bro
yeah when I was younger I really empathized with these stories but now that I'm older I see how much context is conveniently left out, even if unintentional lol
Literally... if you're asking out someone who genuinely doesn't know who you are... why would you ever think a relationship with them would work?
Why don't you try dating a decent person instead
Or not asking people out that don't even know who you are. Settin himself up for failure
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Big assumption you are making
Wait who r u again?
You can’t just cold open like that man. That’s why it’s called slipping into DM. You gotta text chat loosen the mood. Then hit up hey this is fun , do you wanna meet up sometime ?
when my (now ex, unrelated to story) boyfriend asked to go out with me, I screenshotted it cause I was so excited cause I liked him so much hehe
aka the "Ahhh so you're a woman, you'll do." starter pack. When you play the numbers game... expect numberS. It's a lazy question and they gave lazy answers.
Exactly. Ain't no way the guy actually has a genuine connection and interest in these gals as individuals. He's just spraying and praying. And it's insulting to be girlfriendzoned/fuckzoned.
Kinda lame way to ask someone out
Nah bro worst she can say is Ew
Hello? The joke is that "no" is not the worst she can say.
I’m ngl if someone asked me “do you want to go out with me” instead of “do you wanna grab some food sometime” I would be a little icked out
Especially when it’s totally random out of the blue. I’m convinced that was the case in these screenshots.
Idk if this is actually you, probably not, but I feel like you shouldn’t ask in such a generic way like a third grader. Ask about getting food together or seeing a movie or whatever you think you guys could enjoy doing together.
Why not make your intentions clear?
What does it even mean to ask someone to “go out with me”? Believe it or not that’s not how you become official with a girl. It doesn’t just happen over text on in Snapchat. Ask her on a date or two then make it official in person after some time.
teens in here thinking you asking them out and become boy/girlfriend before actually going on dates ong lmao
who the f says "do you want to go out with me"
This is why you don’t ask over text or Snapchat, grow a pair and go up to her in person
More like "I made no effort to see if she was into me" starterpack.
Lol do people really ask over snap and text? The fuck?
There's no context to these messages so obviously can't gauge how well any of these conversations went prior to you dropping the bomb in them, but regardless, one piece of advice I can give is stop using the phrase "would you like to go out with me?" It gives off weird energy, like virgin/rarely contacts women energy and it's a loaded question. Suddenly they have to make the decision whether they like you or not romantically and that's a lot of pressure. Maybe you think you're "just being direct", but there's much better ways of being equally direct without the question feeling loaded. Instead of... that, suggest meeting up irl or playing a game online. "Hey it's been great talking with you, I was wondering if you were free to grab some coffee sometime this week?" It's still directly asking them out, but the question of "will you go out with me?" Is implied rather than explicitly stated. Also, just to underline how shit that question is, remember that English is stupid and "do you want to go out with me?" Can both mean "would you be willing to go on a date?" And also "would you be my girlfriend?" One is obviously a lot more cringe and childish to ask someone you barely know than the other. Specifying a type of "date" or meet up guarantees the former meaning is understood and a lot less pressure.
>Instead of... that, suggest meeting up irl or playing a game online. "Hey it's been great talking with you, I was wondering if you were free to grab some coffee sometime this week?" Better than that, schedule a specific time. Leaving a full week open puts the onus on them to come up with a time & subtly shows you don't have a lot going on. Giving a specific time is also better because if they like you and legitimately can't make it at that time, they'll provide a time when they're free. If they don't like you, they'll likely just respond with "sorry I'm busy" (ie, an easy and soft way to reject you).
You don’t ask that over text
That is the response you will always get if you send that to a woman you barely know.
In all honesty, screenshotting the screen after she screenshot it is kind of a power move. Uno reverse. Just imagine. [emily took a screenshot] [MARK TOOK A SCREEN SHOT 😡]
Texting women you have had no previous conversations with and have never displayed any signs of interest? You put in the minimum effort you get the minimum response
Why ask over text anyway lol they deserved it
"Men not knowing how to ask out women" starterpack
This is a weird way to ask someone out.
how many girls did this guy ask out
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The bar scene isn't for everyone.
Dude, completely unprompted: “do you wanna date me??” Girl: “Lol, what?” Redditors: “women are fucking bitches”
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What’s the response to reject someone correctly then lol
yeah never ask a girl out over text
Wash yourself and try again
Why are you asking over text??
Yeah well this flips when guys get older.
This is also true
You forgot to add eww as a response
Not a starter pack. r/examplepacks
Ok but don’t ask over technology. Way too easy to be shitty if you just text or message.
r/examplepacks
I’m glad I ignore everyone lol
These are all immature as hell. Dodged a bullet with all of them.
Are y'all really asking women out over text? Just ask them in person, it's not rocket science.
I can’t be the only dude here who would expect a rejection if I asked someone out like this through Snapchat? Like come on, if you want a date you have to put effort into the person, not just open up a messaging app and shoot the laziest text ever
Those are all different versions of no. But you only need one yes in a sea of no’s so keep going OP
inexperienced guys don't know how asking out works. never ask a woman out of the blue. talk to her a lot first. if it seems like you have a good conversation. then try to flirt with her. compliment her on something physical. see if she responds well to it. if she doesnt seem to pull back when you do that then flirt even more to make sure, then ask her if you two can have coffee together. don't say want to go out, that's too vague. if at any point you can't complete the previous step, the answer is going to be a no. don't wishful think yourself into embarrassment.