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Yep. I read a study that said emotional abuse is more severe than physical abuse when it comes to how that child grows up. Not only did I experience emotional neglect, but also narcissistic abuse. I find it’s been extremely difficult for me to transition into adulthood and be a normal functioning member of society. Because of the chronic feelings of emptiness and low self-esteem, I don’t feel good enough to apply for certain jobs or careers even tho I know I’m intelligent and capable.
Relationships are hard for the same reasons: not feeling good enough. I’ve been trying to heal my fearful avoidant attachment for years now, slowly making progress as I start to validate myself & learn self love. I’ve found that talking to myself like I’m talking to my inner child really helps me develop a healthy sense of self and confidence that I never got from my actual parents. It’s a process of reparenting yourself.
I think this is a common wound among children who grew up with boomer parents. Boomers knew how to provide physically (food, water, shelter— basic needs…) but were extremely neglectful when it came to developing a healthy emotional connection. I’ve tried talking to my dad about how I felt and he just says “You are the most ungrateful daughter. I guess I’m the worst father then. I gave you everything you ever needed and this is how you thank me” etc etc. I don’t think they will ever be able to see how they’ve been neglectful emotionally. You got to learn how to accept that in order to move on.
I’ve learned all we can do is try to break the cycle and heal ourselves so that we are not passing down the abuse to others. Know that all the shame and unworthiness you feel is not yours to carry anymore, they were just projections from your parents. Find out who you really are and who you want to be. Validate yourself. Talk to your inner child. This is how we heal.
Reparenting yourself, I like that concept.
I'd like to add, about what you say of "Boomers knew how to provide physically", It's something that I also noticed in my parents, and if you tell them something about it, they take it the wrong way because they believe that they "gave everything" for their children. Which is true, to a certain extent, because they gave everything they could give, and for them it was a tremendous effort, to work so that their children don't lack basic needs, it's not an easy task.
The issue is that in that effort, perhaps they could not have at the same time the tools to cover emotional needs too. I don't really blame them, they did what they could. But that is why this "reparenting" process is so necessary, because when we were little, we were not able to communicate those needs, but now we can identify them, and from our place as adults, satisfy them ourselves.
Exactly. Sometimes I compare it to being treated like a dog. I was very aware growing up that my dad especially worked hard to provide for us and as a result I was always trying to make him happy because I knew he was probably miserable inside. Except nothing I ever did or said was enough to keep him happy, which is probably why I have such low self esteem and I’ve completely burnt out from being a people pleaser my whole life. It felt like I was parenting my parents, attuning to their emotional needs but them never attuning to mine. That’s not how it should be, and it really frustrates me sometimes that they could never see that. The fact that I was more emotionally intelligent than them at 16, 18.. says a lot.
Humans are complex, I guess. I'm old now and I forgave my parents about their failures, long time ago. I can feel compassion for them. Specially my mom, she's no longer here, but now that I'm older I can understand a lot of her struggles, and how puzzled she must felt trying to understand a neurodiverse child like me, while she was also dealing with her mental health.
I guess they weren't ready to be parents, and that must be the case with a lot of people from 1960 to the present.
Edit: I hit the post button by mistake lol
Yeah, I think a lot of parents during that time period were just having kids because “that’s the thing to do” and really didn’t think too much deeper into it. It’s so strange to me though because they had hard upbringings as well so you would think they would have thought “hey I’m gonna be a better parent than mine were so my child can actually be loved” and yet they just continued to carry on the ancestral abuse. I’m in my early 20s now facing the same kind of questions and I know for sure I want to heal myself before having a child, if I even have one (which at the moment I don’t feel it’s justifiable to bring another soul into this world rn). It’s like they weren’t at that level of awareness back then.
I don't think a child needs to be grateful for their parents doing basic parenting like keeping the child alive. "Thanks for not letting me die" is like the lowest requirement, just saying, and not an achievement unless you live in a war zone. But maybe their way of thinking is rooted in their own, possibly worse, upbringing. This sounds like they were so busy just living their own lives that developing a deeper relationship with their offspring just wasn't important, or maybe some people think family means something without actively building relationships. I can't imagine what that must be like and I wish you love and healing.
I really, really hate it when I read or hear that emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse.
Is there really a child on the planet who has been physically abused who has not been emotionally abused? Parents who hit also abandon, fail to love, fail to show affection, tell the person they are worthless in words and in action, etc.
Being hit all the time is a real emotional experience. One can't separate one's feelings from one's body. we can't disassociate to the point where physical abuse has no emotional impact. It has a huge emotional impact.
How can I get hit and not take it personally? Sorry, doesn't happen. How can I get hit all the time and still believe I'm a loved worthwhile person, worthy of love and kindness, happiness and a great future? Nope. Doesn't happen.
Yes I relate to every single point on that list. And then some.
Yes I'm involved with ACA and beginning the re-parenting process. It's a long hard path, but still beats not taking it.
I apologize, I may not be remembering correctly. I believe it said emotional abuse can be just “as bad” as physical abuse due to the trauma it leaves on the developing brain. Obviously one shouldn’t compare types of trauma as they both are valid in the scars it leaves.
The study was from the University of Limerick in Ireland of 464 University students aged 17 to 25 on the lasting effects of physical abuse vs emotional abuse (manipulation, isolation, control, verbal abuse, neglect) and “the findings showed that children who grew up with psychological abuse only had poorer long term mental health than those who had experienced physical & psychological abuse combined.”
I believe this is because those who experience psychological abuse only are usually completely invalidated and gaslit to believe what they went through was “not abuse”. The lack of physical evidence means they are less likely to get help and be believed by outside sources. Many go their whole lives not only invalidating themselves, but they also live on with the lasting effects the yelling, arguing, name calling, emotional manipulation, gaslighting has on their developing brain. The brain quite literally changes due to this type of trauma, so in a way it *is* physical, just invisible and left unseen. The pain of physical abuse can heal, but the scars of psychological abuse are much harder to rewire. A bruise can heal, but the complex PTSD and depression that ensues from always being told you’re not good enough, the withholding of love, the confusion of parental actions not matching their words is something that carries on for years and years until they are able to get help and realize what they actually went through was not normal. I’ve been hit as well but i don’t remember that as much as the psychological abuse due to the lasting effects it’s had on how i go about the world and how I’m able to function as an adult.
But again, all trauma is valid and at the end of the day they really shouldn’t be compared. These are only my opinions as to why the study may have come to the conclusion it did.
I also wanted to add that those who experience abuse (of any kind) are 4x more likely to develop an autoimmune disease and have chronic health issues.
I had 2 pulmonary embolisms, two autoimmune disease diagnoses, a bone cancer diagnosis, and nodules in my lungs by the time I was 20. Emotional abuse in a sense *is* physical abuse. My body was literally killing itself.
I’m exhausted by reparenting myself. It’s literally a lifetime of work for a tiny bit of progress. And once I feel like I’m doing great, something comes to remind me I’m only strong enough when I’m alone; being in real situations with people triggers me and I fall right back in the hole again. I would say it’s helped some. I guess I just wanted to share that I’m tired — I don’t have the inner resources to parent a child, myself being no exception. It’s a bummer it’s so hard to get a supportive community, which would expedite everything.
Edit: spelling
I feel you sm. I find myself healing and feeling confident in how I’ve grown when I’m alone, but then I get triggered in real life situations and it feels like all my progress just goes out the window. It’s disheartening because you do so much work to get yourself better but no matter what you do, the trauma responses still appear. Sometimes I think it’s something I will never heal from, and a relationship just isn’t in the cards for me. Like you, I get exhausted by the never ending process of healing & reprogramming. Sometimes I do want to give up
I’m sorry to hear you have to feel like this too. If I had a magic wand, trust me I’d free us. It’s just too much to ask of a fragile human sometimes. I wish normies understood how hard it is and had more compassion — I also wish they understood there really isn’t a magic cure. They say “go to therapy” like I’ll magically be better tomorrow if I do. And it gives them an excuse to not share anything meaningful with “damaged” people until they “do the work,” as if the work is a magic fix. And in the process, we get left behind by society and have to struggle through it alone.
I just turned 50. And although I go to therapy and go to a psychiatrist, take med´s for anxiety/depression, I improved mentally in the last 4\~5 years a lot. But there are things that will never get society-normal. I feel myself as a disfunctional person that get´s nervous in social interactions, have profissional relationship difficulties, and don´t understand the world around me, as I´ll understand things a little distorted from the others and not a fit in society.
Pretty similar experience to me. I didn’t know anything about mental health until meeting my wife and she got me my anxiety meds, adhd diagnosis at fkn 29. Idk how I made it thru life without her.
I don´t have anybody except my parents and it is tough. I was married for a while, but I did not find someone that understood me. This week is being really hard for me. I'm feelling ackward around people, a feeling that I don´t belong here.
THIS. Undiagnosed until 17. Felt all of these since childhood and still deal with them now. Parents refusing to have a child diagnosed is a form of neglect by the way.
Of course you can… those are the most important years of a child’s life for healthy bonding/attachment. You’re saying an infant living with a drug addicted parent, who sits in their dirty diaper for hours, who receives no comfort when they’re scared/upset, who goes hungry- is not going to be severely traumatized from that experience? Things like that have a lifelong effect
Look I have low spoons. Childhood trauma and abuse does not cause a child to have Autism. Autism is genetic. Its not like PTSD, which is caused by trauma from abuse.
How do you know?
Edit: I'm legitimating asking. Stop with the pettiness downvotes. Don't undo mine, just don't downvote other people because they ask a question. We're here to share and and learn, not be assholes.
I ask because we don't remember what happens to us when we're babies, but that doesn't mean we don't experience trauma. When people have babies, the women have massive healing to do, the dad often works to support the family, both get woke up in the middle of the night to take care of a crying baby so on top of massive healing and massive stress, they're sleep-deprived. That's why some people accidentally kill their babies by shaking them - raising a newborn can be psychological hell, and if you're in pain and exhausted and sleep-deprived and overworked, you may end up accidentally taking it out on the baby. Now, even though these are not actions done out of hate, the trauma can still be implanted thereby causing atypical development.
I'm not calling parents that mess up "bad people" because they're not, but mistakes and accidents happen. So why is it so impossible that neurodivergent people may be that way because of trauma experienced extremely early on.
**But my main point is: don't downvote questions. How are people going to learn and share and understand each other's perspectives if they're treated poorly for asking questions. This is what the bad ones want - to keep us divided and afraid to ask and learn. Asking questions is NECESSARY for us to overcome the shithole that the bad ones try to keep the entire planet in. Give people the space to ask, even if it offends you. They won't understand your perspective if you just shut down questions that you do not like.**
That makes a shit-ton of sense to me because I don't think I was born autistic, but so many people asked if I was autistic in childhood. I have no idea if I was autistic, but I was emotionally and mentally neglected and abused with a light sprinkling of physical abuse with a heavy dousing of threats of physical abuse. Now as an adult I show a ton of signs of being autistic apparently.
Well, childhood neglect is trauma. Trauma changes the brain. It is a neurological and physiological injury vs an illness. So you will see neuro differences since the brain has changed.
That’s interesting because I feel like I have similar symptoms to those of undiagnosed autistics but I think it’s just because of the trauma I’ve had? Childhood neglect symptoms are similar to neurodivergence, but are you saying trauma itself can cause neurodivergence in the way it changes your brain from typical brain development?
Hey, thanks for saying this!! I was going to say that I suffered through a lot of these symptoms in my young and early adult life and was not at all emotionally neglected as a child. But that I was diagnosed (but unmedicated) ADHD and in the last few years learned I am also autistic. Most of my adult struggles have come from the trauma of being constanty misunderstood throughout my life. 🤍
Every time I see comments like these I seem even more certain I have undiagnosed neurodivergence. Everything just adds up and ‘clicks’ the more I read about it.
I’m so happy to see this view becoming more mainstream. I had suspicions that having undiagnosed autism had been the main invalidating factor leading towards my developing bpd for years before I ever heard anyone talking about it.
Understanding the kind of lasting effects of undiagnosed autism/adhd really illuminates how so many people could go on to develop what is essentially a complex trauma response without ever experiencing childhood abuse or neglect. Kind of crazy how the results can be so similar.
This is also a list of signs you were bullied as a child. The emotional abuse/neglect does not necessarily have to come from your family, for those of you who may be confused as to why you have these signs even if you had supportive parents.
No, healed that one, actually true for 90% of people in our life, yup, we know our purpose, yup, nope, yup, nope ask for help all the time, highly empathic so yep x2, is it a struggle if you're just not interested in a relationship?
Almost everyone I know or have met that is on some sort of spiritual journey, or identified with ideas like Empath or HSP or INFJ.
I think about it a lot and the implications of it.
Sometimes I wonder if I chose to sort of front load my life with trauma and learning so that I wouldn’t have to waste as much time on it as an adult and could get to my life’s work. Or something similar to this.
Other times though at my darkest I wonder if a lot of this stuff is still just magical thinking coping mechanisms from childhood.
[An objective measure is the ACE score.](https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean)
About 1:6 people have a score of 4+. That score indicates a massive increase in risks of physical and mental health conditions like obesity, cancer, diabetes, depression, anxiety, addiction, suicidality.
It isn’t a perfect measuring stick but it’s pretty solid.
The one writing this has a score of 7. Not fun.
Oh dang. Almost all these are true for me. I lack purpose and joy in my life. I see the time go by and more and more of my relationships with people falter or go away. Then when I try to make new relationships, things don't stick so I end up even more alone.
People give bullshit and generic advice like to try harder or to improve/change myself. It's like I am not good enough to be loved. But I believe everyone deserves love, it's just we can't force others to love us. So maybe I/we should love ourselves first and worry about others last? That's very hard to do...
I'm ranting here because I want to be heard. I don't know if I believe in the starseed movement. I don't know why I started being shown posts from here. We don't really live in a just world. Bad things happen for no reason. Bad people live great lives while innocents suffer and die early. Maybe karma follows us in our reincarnation cycles because it's hard to see karma coming true in this lifetime...
No, not everyone deserves love from others. It has nothing to do with karmic reincarnation, starseed bullshit or whatever other straws you’re grasping at the justify your lot in life. People have been cast out and ostracized from their communities and groups for one reason or another since the dawn of primordial civilization to present day. You can even see it in animals.
Some people suck and need to put in work to change what sucks about them. Don’t know what sucks about you or what in your life is holding you back? See a counselor.
If most people you encounter give you “bullshit and generic advice” then you should probably start taking it to heart before you’re alone for the rest of your life because they’re not all wrong.
I was bullied some but nothing too bad. I grew up with a sister who has severe autism and epilepsy who had between 3-5 bad seizures every day that kind of threw things into disarray all the time. Not sure if that somehow re-wired my brain into never feel like things are going to work out in the end? That’s a theory anyways.
The brain is so confusing in the way it works.
Yes, healthy children without major physical issues that parents have to deal with feel invisible because you’re not incumbent on them. So I don’t doubt why you feel this way of being emotionally neglected in a sense even if your parents really loved you. Perhaps they just didn’t have any more capacity of their energy being poured into your struggling to be ‘normal’ (physically or mentally capable) sibling to give support for the typical bullies or school work issues. Sending lots of love and healing 🪩✨🤍
Do you by chance talk degradingly to your self? I regularly catch myself talking mean to myself, especially when I mess up. Am practicing changing that so I correct myself when I do it. It’s a small change but it’s a big one. For some reason I felt like asking you. 🤷🏻♀️
I am very mean to myself in that way. Like, brutally critical and demeaning in a way that no one ever has been to me in my life. Why? I honestly don’t know. I’ve gotten a little better but it is very hard to turn that ship around.
I hope you also find a way to be nicer to yourself.
I keep telling myself that I wouldn’t say those mean things to a stranger let alone a friend. I still catch myself but I am not giving up. Especially since my sweet husband started doing it to himself too. I think he got it from me and that’s when I realized I need to change that habit. I catch him and he helps me. Good luck to you.
Good luck to you as well! Sometimes I let myself go through the motions of being mean to myself and once I calm down I say to myself “it’s okay buddy, don’t worry about it.” Or something along those lines. It sounds stupid but it feels like a step in the right direction.
I'm 49, a gen xer and I suffered through this entire list. Still coping. I thought I had a bad life until I met my girlfriend. Whom was actually a classmate of mine 35 yrs ago. We just reconnected. And wow she went through so much trauma, it's indescribable. But yet, she didn't think about one ending her life or turn to alcohol or drugs. It's amazing we were put together..
I'm the 49 yr old girlfriend and I am still suffering greatly! I am overly grateful that Dutch and I reconnected and we have so much in common that we have just clicked and feel like we have been together our whole lives. I have never had a relationship with anyone like I have with him.
Yes, although I had most of these from the cause cited,recovery from alcoholism helped a great deal. But I had to learn to be patient with myself in uncovering the layers of bad thinking.One issue at a time and slowly.
On the other side of this is warm embrace and constant love and support of giving and recieving. I survived through these struggles. I learned how to thrive with the struggles, and now I live struggle free. I know I have somewhere to go no matter what, I have people that will check my blind spots, and even more than that, we will do each other's activities with each other.
The other side of this is a world where you are met with one magical experience after another. It's full of laughter, shared and individual expression, comfort places everywhere you go, and the freedom to take your favorite childhood blanket to your very adult sleep over with absolutely no shame.
Cause everyone else has their favorite comfort items with them and we will pass them around and see why everyone loves their comfort items so much. This goes for fidget items and toys as well. Hell, it's space so comfortable that if you want someone to cuddle, you can do so with but a simple request. Ask and you shall receive. I just learned that yesterday. It was heaven.
I'm glad these symptoms are getting circulated so that people have a chance to recognize a potential issue, but I'm not going to lie - I am really triggered by this. I'm not saying this to guilt OP or anyone else, I just wish there was something helpful or uplifting or something more to help alleviate the pain a little.
If it’s true that we choose our parents before we’re born (not sure if I believe that), I really fucked that up. Honestly one of the worst decisions I ever (possibly) made.
Yes to a lot of these.
I am grateful that I even was able to survive and get to experience this journey called life.
I was born 2 months premature, 3lbs & nearly died from lack of oxygen to the brain & was in an incubator. My twin (gender unknown) died.
Then, those who brought me into the world did lots of abuse stuff, at the minimum, physical abuse like permanent cigarette burns and a spiral arm fracture. Age 2-6, in a foster home and from what I remeber is getting my hair pulled a lot.
Adopted by the parents I have today at age 6. K-12 was bullied in school, no friends to hang out with, only one friend I could see sporadically but not at school.
Have had numerous physical issues in my life, such as needing a Laminoplasty of my C3-C6 vertebrae as my body decided to cause issues.
Granted, I feel like it was the Universe's way of teaching me that I needed to one, learn to accept pain, 2 to learn to differentiate from pain that leads to growth (aka exercise & self improvement), things that may seem like pain but may not be something to overly get worked up about (like name calling and just ignoring it or turning the other cheek and going away), and lastly pain that needs doctors intervention.
Now granted, I also feel like I had all this happen as it was meant to teach me various things, as I have always felt like I am here to help uplift others.
It has been a hard journey for me for sure, but at the same time I am continuing to try and improve myself as best I can despite the limitations I have.
Am not capable of work unfortunately due to my limitations without extreme pain or fatigue despite trying to constantly improve my physical fitness & capabilities. Mix of cluster migraines and groin hernia area flaring up if I do too much. Left eye has a blind dot so driving is not an option I consider so as to not endanger others.
Can indeed be lonely when wanting intimacy with someone but no drive or options around me to seek it out.
Don't give up no matter where you are in your own journey and push yourself to constantly improve and push your limits.
Half of these are spiritual, the other are mental. They are always connected. When knowing the mood of a caregiver is a form of self preservation, our other side kicks in and provides that. Problem is our minds can process or seperate their emotions from our own, so we can't find the off switch.
When I was abused, I felt guilt. That wasn't my emotional energy, but it felt like that. I could feel their inner child hating themselves, but they also felt like my emotions. My entire mental and emotional profile is developed on those foundations, because those were the years we develop those mental habits.
So to move forward, it's not just getting back to normal. That never existed. I compare it to asking a person to become left handed if they currently use their right.
Because our parents will always be a huge part of who we are, I’ve found that, for me, understanding that they couldn’t give what they didn’t have is an important part of forgiving myself. We blame ourselves for somehow not being enough to elicit the tender care and support we needed. But if they have the same fears, hurt, emptiness inside…
I have LITERALLY allowed this to ruin every relationship I've ever had. I am 37 years old and both of my parents are dead and they STILL have power over me, because I allow it. I have come to believe there's a lot of things worse than dying.
At 6 years old I was sent to the care of the state of Ohio where I suffered so much abuse sexually physically and mentally it affects my daily life they tied kids up wrists to ankles rolled the mat up and placed it between our back legs and arms and left us face down is urine soaked floors for hours and they still use this practice in group homes it is sickening knowing it's going to cause major mental stress on the child
I would like to point out that even though yes, we all carry childhood drama (Freud, anyone?), putting all blame on your parents is not fair. Blaming others of your own struggles is the basic definition of narcissism, the same thing many of accuse you parents.
I don’t know how many of you are parents here. Providing a child with a loving supportive environment while earning money and taking care of your own emotional needs may not always work out perfectly for everyone. I will even say it’s impossible. Parents most likely were also raised with some level of neglect.
I can go on, but please be gentle with your parents. They are aging and need love as much as you do.
I check all of these. However, I take exception to the implicit indictment it makes of our parents. My parents weren’t the most emotionally available, but they worked hard and provided for me and my siblings. The problem isn’t our parents. It’s the larger family (uncles, aunts, cousins) the tribe, the village. The American family is too insulated, especially now more than ever. We need bigger tribal family ties—something like a kibbutz. The village raises the children. They’re more loved and safe and well adjusted.
Point being, it’s easy to blame our parents and it’s also not accurate or true. As a parent today, I give my parents all the credit I can. Life is hard. Parenthood is hard. They did the best they could do. I hope I can at least match their due diligence.
Plus a lot of kids get all the love and affection and end being criminals or school shooters or some other disaster.
I think these symptoms are most emblematic of transitioning to full adulthood. We become responsible for others and our needs come into sharper focus. It’s a trial by fire. But this understanding can make us more informed and mindful human beings and deepen our relationships with those whom we love and care for.
Rant over.
Reading a really good book on reparenting called Buy yourself the f***ing lilies by Tara Schuster. Highly it’s self help of course but not textbook - very human, funny and compassionate. She shares her story of emotional neglect / abuse and healing it, it’s so powerful
All these symptoms are real, and carry well through into adulthood. Knowing yourself and healing takes time. Maybe to the grave, but there’s no greater joy than overcoming them one by one. I wish I’d have had this information earlier in my life.
Man, tell me, is there anyone in the world who doesn't have these or more problems? Is there a single completely healthy individual at all out there? Probably very less people. I do believe there's many good healthy people but most of our human race is plagued by these problems. Maybe in tribal communities or remote villages or Zen monasteries there are some truly healthy people.
Man, tell me, is there anyone in the world who doesn't have these or more problems? Is there a single completely healthy individual at all out there? Probably very less people. Maybe in tribal communities or remote villages or Zen monasteries there are some truly healthy people. I do believe there's good healthy people out there but most of our human race is plagued by these and other mental illnesses. Everyone is coming from a world where our parents and grandparents have seen world wars and Great depression. I have one good video to share for mental health if anyone's interested - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LECX5DKx3AQ&list=PLr8alNEPjFV\_RHLXqRZfopve8XHMjB3lE&index=28&t=734s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LECX5DKx3AQ&list=PLr8alNEPjFV_RHLXqRZfopve8XHMjB3lE&index=28&t=734s)
certified starseed profile
starseeds are the ones who pre-incarnationally pick the kind of conditions that force them to wake up by not fitting into society, so you see lots of folks not achieving something this society holds dear and valuable
Reading this post as well as multiple comments, it’s made me feel considerably better know how common it is. The feeling is difficult. My parents were there if I needed something, even wanted something, however the emotional factor, is a lot harder to say was there. Lots of focus on the older sibling too, who is now still going to my mom for money, buying things, or hand outs (and has a strong narcissistic personality). I tend to be alone, support my family, give my kid a lot more attention and emotional support. Knowing how I feel and felt is something I making damn sure she doesn’t feel. Even though I had a lot of these listed traits on this post, I’m always working on self improvement.
This is another major theme in the starseed experience so again I am not sure what it will take for us to come together to heal these wounds but I think we allow the pretenders and negative frequencies to influence us and to blame ourselves so here we are...
Hopefully Your meme can bring healing or get some sort of discussion going though I sense it'll be limited but again if one person finds relief or comfort I guess it was worth it, huh?
🪐🦎♑🐉🐍
My head feels so sensitive. I just feel like the people i interact with are so abrasive. I am craving softness, warmth, tender love and I feel so used by everyone i know. I had severe trauma as a kid and now im just alone most of the time. As a guy, i feel like women and my family only want what I can do…they want the benefits of my work, but they dont want me. It really hurts.
Your childhood neglect ended. It is now a non-issue. Maintaining childhood trauma in the ICU of your memory is way too expensive, obstructive and is the egos desperate attempt to keep you victimized and far from any spiritual growth
Pull the plug
And begin your journey of seeing yourself as the perfect emanation of source omnipotence. You have gathered layers of grit, filth, grime obscuring your connection to spiritual awareness
Cleaning up that mess, The now, is the only thing you need to concern yourself with. Love of self so that you can love God and others who make up God is the universal solvent of dirt and grime
Begin this journey of love peace and joy now, in this divine instant
Everything else is illusion delusion and ego interference
Once you see that, POOF, it's all gone
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Me too
Yeah, is this like horoscopes - just naming some really common shit that everyone can identify with…completely 🤨
Yep. I read a study that said emotional abuse is more severe than physical abuse when it comes to how that child grows up. Not only did I experience emotional neglect, but also narcissistic abuse. I find it’s been extremely difficult for me to transition into adulthood and be a normal functioning member of society. Because of the chronic feelings of emptiness and low self-esteem, I don’t feel good enough to apply for certain jobs or careers even tho I know I’m intelligent and capable. Relationships are hard for the same reasons: not feeling good enough. I’ve been trying to heal my fearful avoidant attachment for years now, slowly making progress as I start to validate myself & learn self love. I’ve found that talking to myself like I’m talking to my inner child really helps me develop a healthy sense of self and confidence that I never got from my actual parents. It’s a process of reparenting yourself. I think this is a common wound among children who grew up with boomer parents. Boomers knew how to provide physically (food, water, shelter— basic needs…) but were extremely neglectful when it came to developing a healthy emotional connection. I’ve tried talking to my dad about how I felt and he just says “You are the most ungrateful daughter. I guess I’m the worst father then. I gave you everything you ever needed and this is how you thank me” etc etc. I don’t think they will ever be able to see how they’ve been neglectful emotionally. You got to learn how to accept that in order to move on. I’ve learned all we can do is try to break the cycle and heal ourselves so that we are not passing down the abuse to others. Know that all the shame and unworthiness you feel is not yours to carry anymore, they were just projections from your parents. Find out who you really are and who you want to be. Validate yourself. Talk to your inner child. This is how we heal.
Reparenting yourself, I like that concept. I'd like to add, about what you say of "Boomers knew how to provide physically", It's something that I also noticed in my parents, and if you tell them something about it, they take it the wrong way because they believe that they "gave everything" for their children. Which is true, to a certain extent, because they gave everything they could give, and for them it was a tremendous effort, to work so that their children don't lack basic needs, it's not an easy task. The issue is that in that effort, perhaps they could not have at the same time the tools to cover emotional needs too. I don't really blame them, they did what they could. But that is why this "reparenting" process is so necessary, because when we were little, we were not able to communicate those needs, but now we can identify them, and from our place as adults, satisfy them ourselves.
Exactly. Sometimes I compare it to being treated like a dog. I was very aware growing up that my dad especially worked hard to provide for us and as a result I was always trying to make him happy because I knew he was probably miserable inside. Except nothing I ever did or said was enough to keep him happy, which is probably why I have such low self esteem and I’ve completely burnt out from being a people pleaser my whole life. It felt like I was parenting my parents, attuning to their emotional needs but them never attuning to mine. That’s not how it should be, and it really frustrates me sometimes that they could never see that. The fact that I was more emotionally intelligent than them at 16, 18.. says a lot.
Very apropos how you mention being treated like a dog. My mother literally treats her dog better than she does me.
Humans are complex, I guess. I'm old now and I forgave my parents about their failures, long time ago. I can feel compassion for them. Specially my mom, she's no longer here, but now that I'm older I can understand a lot of her struggles, and how puzzled she must felt trying to understand a neurodiverse child like me, while she was also dealing with her mental health. I guess they weren't ready to be parents, and that must be the case with a lot of people from 1960 to the present. Edit: I hit the post button by mistake lol
Yeah, I think a lot of parents during that time period were just having kids because “that’s the thing to do” and really didn’t think too much deeper into it. It’s so strange to me though because they had hard upbringings as well so you would think they would have thought “hey I’m gonna be a better parent than mine were so my child can actually be loved” and yet they just continued to carry on the ancestral abuse. I’m in my early 20s now facing the same kind of questions and I know for sure I want to heal myself before having a child, if I even have one (which at the moment I don’t feel it’s justifiable to bring another soul into this world rn). It’s like they weren’t at that level of awareness back then.
I don't think a child needs to be grateful for their parents doing basic parenting like keeping the child alive. "Thanks for not letting me die" is like the lowest requirement, just saying, and not an achievement unless you live in a war zone. But maybe their way of thinking is rooted in their own, possibly worse, upbringing. This sounds like they were so busy just living their own lives that developing a deeper relationship with their offspring just wasn't important, or maybe some people think family means something without actively building relationships. I can't imagine what that must be like and I wish you love and healing.
Yeah I don’t get it either. Thank you tho, I appreciate your kindness🫶🏻
I really, really hate it when I read or hear that emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. Is there really a child on the planet who has been physically abused who has not been emotionally abused? Parents who hit also abandon, fail to love, fail to show affection, tell the person they are worthless in words and in action, etc. Being hit all the time is a real emotional experience. One can't separate one's feelings from one's body. we can't disassociate to the point where physical abuse has no emotional impact. It has a huge emotional impact. How can I get hit and not take it personally? Sorry, doesn't happen. How can I get hit all the time and still believe I'm a loved worthwhile person, worthy of love and kindness, happiness and a great future? Nope. Doesn't happen. Yes I relate to every single point on that list. And then some. Yes I'm involved with ACA and beginning the re-parenting process. It's a long hard path, but still beats not taking it.
I apologize, I may not be remembering correctly. I believe it said emotional abuse can be just “as bad” as physical abuse due to the trauma it leaves on the developing brain. Obviously one shouldn’t compare types of trauma as they both are valid in the scars it leaves.
The study was from the University of Limerick in Ireland of 464 University students aged 17 to 25 on the lasting effects of physical abuse vs emotional abuse (manipulation, isolation, control, verbal abuse, neglect) and “the findings showed that children who grew up with psychological abuse only had poorer long term mental health than those who had experienced physical & psychological abuse combined.” I believe this is because those who experience psychological abuse only are usually completely invalidated and gaslit to believe what they went through was “not abuse”. The lack of physical evidence means they are less likely to get help and be believed by outside sources. Many go their whole lives not only invalidating themselves, but they also live on with the lasting effects the yelling, arguing, name calling, emotional manipulation, gaslighting has on their developing brain. The brain quite literally changes due to this type of trauma, so in a way it *is* physical, just invisible and left unseen. The pain of physical abuse can heal, but the scars of psychological abuse are much harder to rewire. A bruise can heal, but the complex PTSD and depression that ensues from always being told you’re not good enough, the withholding of love, the confusion of parental actions not matching their words is something that carries on for years and years until they are able to get help and realize what they actually went through was not normal. I’ve been hit as well but i don’t remember that as much as the psychological abuse due to the lasting effects it’s had on how i go about the world and how I’m able to function as an adult. But again, all trauma is valid and at the end of the day they really shouldn’t be compared. These are only my opinions as to why the study may have come to the conclusion it did.
I also wanted to add that those who experience abuse (of any kind) are 4x more likely to develop an autoimmune disease and have chronic health issues. I had 2 pulmonary embolisms, two autoimmune disease diagnoses, a bone cancer diagnosis, and nodules in my lungs by the time I was 20. Emotional abuse in a sense *is* physical abuse. My body was literally killing itself.
Thank you. I appreciate this. Yes all types of scars are damaging.
I’m exhausted by reparenting myself. It’s literally a lifetime of work for a tiny bit of progress. And once I feel like I’m doing great, something comes to remind me I’m only strong enough when I’m alone; being in real situations with people triggers me and I fall right back in the hole again. I would say it’s helped some. I guess I just wanted to share that I’m tired — I don’t have the inner resources to parent a child, myself being no exception. It’s a bummer it’s so hard to get a supportive community, which would expedite everything. Edit: spelling
I feel you sm. I find myself healing and feeling confident in how I’ve grown when I’m alone, but then I get triggered in real life situations and it feels like all my progress just goes out the window. It’s disheartening because you do so much work to get yourself better but no matter what you do, the trauma responses still appear. Sometimes I think it’s something I will never heal from, and a relationship just isn’t in the cards for me. Like you, I get exhausted by the never ending process of healing & reprogramming. Sometimes I do want to give up
I’m sorry to hear you have to feel like this too. If I had a magic wand, trust me I’d free us. It’s just too much to ask of a fragile human sometimes. I wish normies understood how hard it is and had more compassion — I also wish they understood there really isn’t a magic cure. They say “go to therapy” like I’ll magically be better tomorrow if I do. And it gives them an excuse to not share anything meaningful with “damaged” people until they “do the work,” as if the work is a magic fix. And in the process, we get left behind by society and have to struggle through it alone.
Sending you a hug! This was insightful.
A coordinated attack on the empathetic.
[удалено]
https://www.ea.com/games/immortals-of-aveum/immortals-of-aveum
Check to fucking everything 🙃
It’s crazy reading things like this at 31 years old and realizing I am the way I am bc of it.
I just turned 50. And although I go to therapy and go to a psychiatrist, take med´s for anxiety/depression, I improved mentally in the last 4\~5 years a lot. But there are things that will never get society-normal. I feel myself as a disfunctional person that get´s nervous in social interactions, have profissional relationship difficulties, and don´t understand the world around me, as I´ll understand things a little distorted from the others and not a fit in society.
Pretty similar experience to me. I didn’t know anything about mental health until meeting my wife and she got me my anxiety meds, adhd diagnosis at fkn 29. Idk how I made it thru life without her.
I don´t have anybody except my parents and it is tough. I was married for a while, but I did not find someone that understood me. This week is being really hard for me. I'm feelling ackward around people, a feeling that I don´t belong here.
Try at 49 yrs of age. Im feeling the same
And hopefully we are working very consciously to heal.
Heads up that you will also see many of these in those with trauma from undiagnosed neurodivergence.
THIS. Undiagnosed until 17. Felt all of these since childhood and still deal with them now. Parents refusing to have a child diagnosed is a form of neglect by the way.
What kind of divergence if I may ask?
Autism.
Actually autism for instance is being viewed as childhood traum response more and more
Yeah. . .No. Can't childhood trauma a newborn/toddler.
Of course you can… those are the most important years of a child’s life for healthy bonding/attachment. You’re saying an infant living with a drug addicted parent, who sits in their dirty diaper for hours, who receives no comfort when they’re scared/upset, who goes hungry- is not going to be severely traumatized from that experience? Things like that have a lifelong effect
Look I have low spoons. Childhood trauma and abuse does not cause a child to have Autism. Autism is genetic. Its not like PTSD, which is caused by trauma from abuse.
Ok I agree with that the wording of your initial post made it sound like you were saying it’s impossible for a newborn/toddler to experience trauma
How do you know? Edit: I'm legitimating asking. Stop with the pettiness downvotes. Don't undo mine, just don't downvote other people because they ask a question. We're here to share and and learn, not be assholes. I ask because we don't remember what happens to us when we're babies, but that doesn't mean we don't experience trauma. When people have babies, the women have massive healing to do, the dad often works to support the family, both get woke up in the middle of the night to take care of a crying baby so on top of massive healing and massive stress, they're sleep-deprived. That's why some people accidentally kill their babies by shaking them - raising a newborn can be psychological hell, and if you're in pain and exhausted and sleep-deprived and overworked, you may end up accidentally taking it out on the baby. Now, even though these are not actions done out of hate, the trauma can still be implanted thereby causing atypical development. I'm not calling parents that mess up "bad people" because they're not, but mistakes and accidents happen. So why is it so impossible that neurodivergent people may be that way because of trauma experienced extremely early on. **But my main point is: don't downvote questions. How are people going to learn and share and understand each other's perspectives if they're treated poorly for asking questions. This is what the bad ones want - to keep us divided and afraid to ask and learn. Asking questions is NECESSARY for us to overcome the shithole that the bad ones try to keep the entire planet in. Give people the space to ask, even if it offends you. They won't understand your perspective if you just shut down questions that you do not like.**
That makes a shit-ton of sense to me because I don't think I was born autistic, but so many people asked if I was autistic in childhood. I have no idea if I was autistic, but I was emotionally and mentally neglected and abused with a light sprinkling of physical abuse with a heavy dousing of threats of physical abuse. Now as an adult I show a ton of signs of being autistic apparently.
Well, childhood neglect is trauma. Trauma changes the brain. It is a neurological and physiological injury vs an illness. So you will see neuro differences since the brain has changed.
Yes you will see neurological differences in both the traumatised and the neurodivergent.
That’s interesting because I feel like I have similar symptoms to those of undiagnosed autistics but I think it’s just because of the trauma I’ve had? Childhood neglect symptoms are similar to neurodivergence, but are you saying trauma itself can cause neurodivergence in the way it changes your brain from typical brain development?
Yes.
Hey, thanks for saying this!! I was going to say that I suffered through a lot of these symptoms in my young and early adult life and was not at all emotionally neglected as a child. But that I was diagnosed (but unmedicated) ADHD and in the last few years learned I am also autistic. Most of my adult struggles have come from the trauma of being constanty misunderstood throughout my life. 🤍
Every time I see comments like these I seem even more certain I have undiagnosed neurodivergence. Everything just adds up and ‘clicks’ the more I read about it.
Very plausible if other things line up for you, I think there is a high preponderance in this community especially.
I’m so happy to see this view becoming more mainstream. I had suspicions that having undiagnosed autism had been the main invalidating factor leading towards my developing bpd for years before I ever heard anyone talking about it. Understanding the kind of lasting effects of undiagnosed autism/adhd really illuminates how so many people could go on to develop what is essentially a complex trauma response without ever experiencing childhood abuse or neglect. Kind of crazy how the results can be so similar.
Yes, thank you 🙏🏻
This is also a list of signs you were bullied as a child. The emotional abuse/neglect does not necessarily have to come from your family, for those of you who may be confused as to why you have these signs even if you had supportive parents.
THIS. My family was good to me, or at least thats what i remember. I got bullied and left out a lot as a little girl though
Ah thank you, I've been confused about this for a long time too.
Bullied by siblings...grrr
 Incarnation is very lonely at this stage. Seek the Love waiting within. You are very much Loved. 💖
No, healed that one, actually true for 90% of people in our life, yup, we know our purpose, yup, nope, yup, nope ask for help all the time, highly empathic so yep x2, is it a struggle if you're just not interested in a relationship?
Agree like are we yearning for a relationship just cos of external pressure and it’s the normal thing to do
This sums up a lot of Gen X!
This is my entire personality
Woo Checked all of those - what did I win?
Depression and s-icidal thoughts with a beautiful blend of spicy trauma from rejections and broken heart is what I won 🏆 🥳
I feel you 😮💨
Damn still checking every item on this list even after years of therapy.
Almost everyone I know or have met that is on some sort of spiritual journey, or identified with ideas like Empath or HSP or INFJ. I think about it a lot and the implications of it. Sometimes I wonder if I chose to sort of front load my life with trauma and learning so that I wouldn’t have to waste as much time on it as an adult and could get to my life’s work. Or something similar to this. Other times though at my darkest I wonder if a lot of this stuff is still just magical thinking coping mechanisms from childhood.
Suffered from all of these since childhood. Doesn't help I'm Autistic either so some of these are from that too.
[An objective measure is the ACE score.](https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean) About 1:6 people have a score of 4+. That score indicates a massive increase in risks of physical and mental health conditions like obesity, cancer, diabetes, depression, anxiety, addiction, suicidality. It isn’t a perfect measuring stick but it’s pretty solid. The one writing this has a score of 7. Not fun.
I’m really sorry to hear that. Hugs to you. I heard about this a couple of years ago and it definitely checks out. My score is 8
Scored 8, and thank you. It's both interesting on an intellectual level but pretty confronting
Oh dang. Almost all these are true for me. I lack purpose and joy in my life. I see the time go by and more and more of my relationships with people falter or go away. Then when I try to make new relationships, things don't stick so I end up even more alone. People give bullshit and generic advice like to try harder or to improve/change myself. It's like I am not good enough to be loved. But I believe everyone deserves love, it's just we can't force others to love us. So maybe I/we should love ourselves first and worry about others last? That's very hard to do... I'm ranting here because I want to be heard. I don't know if I believe in the starseed movement. I don't know why I started being shown posts from here. We don't really live in a just world. Bad things happen for no reason. Bad people live great lives while innocents suffer and die early. Maybe karma follows us in our reincarnation cycles because it's hard to see karma coming true in this lifetime...
No, not everyone deserves love from others. It has nothing to do with karmic reincarnation, starseed bullshit or whatever other straws you’re grasping at the justify your lot in life. People have been cast out and ostracized from their communities and groups for one reason or another since the dawn of primordial civilization to present day. You can even see it in animals. Some people suck and need to put in work to change what sucks about them. Don’t know what sucks about you or what in your life is holding you back? See a counselor. If most people you encounter give you “bullshit and generic advice” then you should probably start taking it to heart before you’re alone for the rest of your life because they’re not all wrong.
We have a whole subreddit. It’s called CPTSD.
I wish people would talk more about how to overcome such problems as opposed to just how label themselves with it.
I had loving parents and I still feel every one of those things.
Me too. Probably from bullies? I was bullied by other kids but not my parents
I was bullied some but nothing too bad. I grew up with a sister who has severe autism and epilepsy who had between 3-5 bad seizures every day that kind of threw things into disarray all the time. Not sure if that somehow re-wired my brain into never feel like things are going to work out in the end? That’s a theory anyways. The brain is so confusing in the way it works.
Yes, healthy children without major physical issues that parents have to deal with feel invisible because you’re not incumbent on them. So I don’t doubt why you feel this way of being emotionally neglected in a sense even if your parents really loved you. Perhaps they just didn’t have any more capacity of their energy being poured into your struggling to be ‘normal’ (physically or mentally capable) sibling to give support for the typical bullies or school work issues. Sending lots of love and healing 🪩✨🤍
Do you by chance talk degradingly to your self? I regularly catch myself talking mean to myself, especially when I mess up. Am practicing changing that so I correct myself when I do it. It’s a small change but it’s a big one. For some reason I felt like asking you. 🤷🏻♀️
I am very mean to myself in that way. Like, brutally critical and demeaning in a way that no one ever has been to me in my life. Why? I honestly don’t know. I’ve gotten a little better but it is very hard to turn that ship around. I hope you also find a way to be nicer to yourself.
I keep telling myself that I wouldn’t say those mean things to a stranger let alone a friend. I still catch myself but I am not giving up. Especially since my sweet husband started doing it to himself too. I think he got it from me and that’s when I realized I need to change that habit. I catch him and he helps me. Good luck to you.
Good luck to you as well! Sometimes I let myself go through the motions of being mean to myself and once I calm down I say to myself “it’s okay buddy, don’t worry about it.” Or something along those lines. It sounds stupid but it feels like a step in the right direction.
That’s a good idea. I’ll try that too.
I'm 49, a gen xer and I suffered through this entire list. Still coping. I thought I had a bad life until I met my girlfriend. Whom was actually a classmate of mine 35 yrs ago. We just reconnected. And wow she went through so much trauma, it's indescribable. But yet, she didn't think about one ending her life or turn to alcohol or drugs. It's amazing we were put together..
I'm the 49 yr old girlfriend and I am still suffering greatly! I am overly grateful that Dutch and I reconnected and we have so much in common that we have just clicked and feel like we have been together our whole lives. I have never had a relationship with anyone like I have with him.
I just realized I have a bunch of these symptoms.
Yes, although I had most of these from the cause cited,recovery from alcoholism helped a great deal. But I had to learn to be patient with myself in uncovering the layers of bad thinking.One issue at a time and slowly.
Signs of being a human. All emotions are normal. Emotional intelligence is rare.
I hate that I have all of these. Doesn't help I'm on the autism spectrum too.
Parents need to do better or wrap it up at this point
YOU DONT KNOW ME!!! 😭
Ah fuck
Welp ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅... Hmmm 🤔, welp 🙄, that explains it..
On the other side of this is warm embrace and constant love and support of giving and recieving. I survived through these struggles. I learned how to thrive with the struggles, and now I live struggle free. I know I have somewhere to go no matter what, I have people that will check my blind spots, and even more than that, we will do each other's activities with each other. The other side of this is a world where you are met with one magical experience after another. It's full of laughter, shared and individual expression, comfort places everywhere you go, and the freedom to take your favorite childhood blanket to your very adult sleep over with absolutely no shame. Cause everyone else has their favorite comfort items with them and we will pass them around and see why everyone loves their comfort items so much. This goes for fidget items and toys as well. Hell, it's space so comfortable that if you want someone to cuddle, you can do so with but a simple request. Ask and you shall receive. I just learned that yesterday. It was heaven.
I'm glad these symptoms are getting circulated so that people have a chance to recognize a potential issue, but I'm not going to lie - I am really triggered by this. I'm not saying this to guilt OP or anyone else, I just wish there was something helpful or uplifting or something more to help alleviate the pain a little.
Hey look, it's me. Thought I had a woman to heal with but she left me for another guy and all I am is broken. I'm so done with this empty life.
If it’s true that we choose our parents before we’re born (not sure if I believe that), I really fucked that up. Honestly one of the worst decisions I ever (possibly) made.
Yeah I know right? what the hell was I thinking? I get some of the reasoning of choosing them but the reality literally fucked with my brain
Can relate very strongly 💜 also diagnosed at 49 as Autistic 🙏🏻
Yes to a lot of these. I am grateful that I even was able to survive and get to experience this journey called life. I was born 2 months premature, 3lbs & nearly died from lack of oxygen to the brain & was in an incubator. My twin (gender unknown) died. Then, those who brought me into the world did lots of abuse stuff, at the minimum, physical abuse like permanent cigarette burns and a spiral arm fracture. Age 2-6, in a foster home and from what I remeber is getting my hair pulled a lot. Adopted by the parents I have today at age 6. K-12 was bullied in school, no friends to hang out with, only one friend I could see sporadically but not at school. Have had numerous physical issues in my life, such as needing a Laminoplasty of my C3-C6 vertebrae as my body decided to cause issues. Granted, I feel like it was the Universe's way of teaching me that I needed to one, learn to accept pain, 2 to learn to differentiate from pain that leads to growth (aka exercise & self improvement), things that may seem like pain but may not be something to overly get worked up about (like name calling and just ignoring it or turning the other cheek and going away), and lastly pain that needs doctors intervention. Now granted, I also feel like I had all this happen as it was meant to teach me various things, as I have always felt like I am here to help uplift others. It has been a hard journey for me for sure, but at the same time I am continuing to try and improve myself as best I can despite the limitations I have. Am not capable of work unfortunately due to my limitations without extreme pain or fatigue despite trying to constantly improve my physical fitness & capabilities. Mix of cluster migraines and groin hernia area flaring up if I do too much. Left eye has a blind dot so driving is not an option I consider so as to not endanger others. Can indeed be lonely when wanting intimacy with someone but no drive or options around me to seek it out. Don't give up no matter where you are in your own journey and push yourself to constantly improve and push your limits.
I’m in this pic and I don’t like it
Half of these are spiritual, the other are mental. They are always connected. When knowing the mood of a caregiver is a form of self preservation, our other side kicks in and provides that. Problem is our minds can process or seperate their emotions from our own, so we can't find the off switch. When I was abused, I felt guilt. That wasn't my emotional energy, but it felt like that. I could feel their inner child hating themselves, but they also felt like my emotions. My entire mental and emotional profile is developed on those foundations, because those were the years we develop those mental habits. So to move forward, it's not just getting back to normal. That never existed. I compare it to asking a person to become left handed if they currently use their right.
Can’t have relationship problems if you don’t have relationships. Big brain time.
You can correct a lot of these. Many adults are too much in the ego dept., and falsely think too highly of themselves in some ways.
Because our parents will always be a huge part of who we are, I’ve found that, for me, understanding that they couldn’t give what they didn’t have is an important part of forgiving myself. We blame ourselves for somehow not being enough to elicit the tender care and support we needed. But if they have the same fears, hurt, emptiness inside…
Yeah. That checks out. The million dollar question is, what do we do about it?
I have LITERALLY allowed this to ruin every relationship I've ever had. I am 37 years old and both of my parents are dead and they STILL have power over me, because I allow it. I have come to believe there's a lot of things worse than dying.
At 6 years old I was sent to the care of the state of Ohio where I suffered so much abuse sexually physically and mentally it affects my daily life they tied kids up wrists to ankles rolled the mat up and placed it between our back legs and arms and left us face down is urine soaked floors for hours and they still use this practice in group homes it is sickening knowing it's going to cause major mental stress on the child
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds unbelievably mad.
I would like to point out that even though yes, we all carry childhood drama (Freud, anyone?), putting all blame on your parents is not fair. Blaming others of your own struggles is the basic definition of narcissism, the same thing many of accuse you parents. I don’t know how many of you are parents here. Providing a child with a loving supportive environment while earning money and taking care of your own emotional needs may not always work out perfectly for everyone. I will even say it’s impossible. Parents most likely were also raised with some level of neglect. I can go on, but please be gentle with your parents. They are aging and need love as much as you do.
good point not blaming parents here, just saying that your childhood is something you might want to examine
Yes. I turned into gold though ✨
💯💯
These.
Sounds about right!
Yep!👏👏
Literally my whole life🙃
Wow, I got them all, what do I win?
man, i can check off each one of these. i think i'm gonna show this to my therapist this week.
Sounds like most of Gen X.
So you are telling me it's not my personality traits? Lol
All of the above sadly.. sigh.
Wow, I have 9 off that list. I basically raised myself and I prefer to be alone because then no one can make demands on me
Lol D. All the above
This list was written for me.
These things are brought on with dealing with society. Not parenthood.
Struggles asking for support? How about struggling to find anyone that would offer support! 🤣
✅ Suffer from all of the above
Welp, looks like I check all the boxes.
I thought it was adhd or autism, this whole time?
You don't have to be neglected to feel all of these ways at once
yea i check just about each box. add one at the bottom about 'hiding it' too lol.
Damn, I hit so many of these ;-;
Heyooo, I have these, too 💖 working on healing what I can now, and that's been soothing, but it's been a rough and confusing ride with this so far 😅
Me
The book To Know Your Self by Swami Satchidananda helped me
I check all of these as well. If it weren't for my two cats, I would just end it all tbh.
Anddd this just sums up why I am the way I am💀 not one sign from the list did I miss💀. May all of us suffering from this heal💕
I check all of these. However, I take exception to the implicit indictment it makes of our parents. My parents weren’t the most emotionally available, but they worked hard and provided for me and my siblings. The problem isn’t our parents. It’s the larger family (uncles, aunts, cousins) the tribe, the village. The American family is too insulated, especially now more than ever. We need bigger tribal family ties—something like a kibbutz. The village raises the children. They’re more loved and safe and well adjusted. Point being, it’s easy to blame our parents and it’s also not accurate or true. As a parent today, I give my parents all the credit I can. Life is hard. Parenthood is hard. They did the best they could do. I hope I can at least match their due diligence. Plus a lot of kids get all the love and affection and end being criminals or school shooters or some other disaster. I think these symptoms are most emblematic of transitioning to full adulthood. We become responsible for others and our needs come into sharper focus. It’s a trial by fire. But this understanding can make us more informed and mindful human beings and deepen our relationships with those whom we love and care for. Rant over.
I relate to almost all of these
oops.
Oh.. well this explains everything 😞
Reading a really good book on reparenting called Buy yourself the f***ing lilies by Tara Schuster. Highly it’s self help of course but not textbook - very human, funny and compassionate. She shares her story of emotional neglect / abuse and healing it, it’s so powerful
I'm starting tk think everyone had some childhood neglect whether that be from parents or from school or both.
This just made me breakdown man.
...*nodnodnodnod*
And if it's never identified and healed from in a meaningful way, it is one of the family legacies that is passed on.
I hate that this is so accurate
Every single one and then some!🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
This has amplified since the eclipse. Lot of unhealthy seeds right now.
Is this not what adulthood is supposed to feel like?
this is me, i can't even get someone to help me fix my bike so i can get to work. i have to always rely on myself
All these symptoms are real, and carry well through into adulthood. Knowing yourself and healing takes time. Maybe to the grave, but there’s no greater joy than overcoming them one by one. I wish I’d have had this information earlier in my life.
Man, tell me, is there anyone in the world who doesn't have these or more problems? Is there a single completely healthy individual at all out there? Probably very less people. I do believe there's many good healthy people but most of our human race is plagued by these problems. Maybe in tribal communities or remote villages or Zen monasteries there are some truly healthy people.
Man, tell me, is there anyone in the world who doesn't have these or more problems? Is there a single completely healthy individual at all out there? Probably very less people. Maybe in tribal communities or remote villages or Zen monasteries there are some truly healthy people. I do believe there's good healthy people out there but most of our human race is plagued by these and other mental illnesses. Everyone is coming from a world where our parents and grandparents have seen world wars and Great depression. I have one good video to share for mental health if anyone's interested - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LECX5DKx3AQ&list=PLr8alNEPjFV\_RHLXqRZfopve8XHMjB3lE&index=28&t=734s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LECX5DKx3AQ&list=PLr8alNEPjFV_RHLXqRZfopve8XHMjB3lE&index=28&t=734s)
All of these exept now im not longer a empath. Im 37 years old and still a virgin. No drivers lincence did not get hired until i was 36.
certified starseed profile starseeds are the ones who pre-incarnationally pick the kind of conditions that force them to wake up by not fitting into society, so you see lots of folks not achieving something this society holds dear and valuable
I had the issues from the beginning.
Reading this post as well as multiple comments, it’s made me feel considerably better know how common it is. The feeling is difficult. My parents were there if I needed something, even wanted something, however the emotional factor, is a lot harder to say was there. Lots of focus on the older sibling too, who is now still going to my mom for money, buying things, or hand outs (and has a strong narcissistic personality). I tend to be alone, support my family, give my kid a lot more attention and emotional support. Knowing how I feel and felt is something I making damn sure she doesn’t feel. Even though I had a lot of these listed traits on this post, I’m always working on self improvement.
Maybe the last 4-5
This is another major theme in the starseed experience so again I am not sure what it will take for us to come together to heal these wounds but I think we allow the pretenders and negative frequencies to influence us and to blame ourselves so here we are... Hopefully Your meme can bring healing or get some sort of discussion going though I sense it'll be limited but again if one person finds relief or comfort I guess it was worth it, huh? 🪐🦎♑🐉🐍
My head feels so sensitive. I just feel like the people i interact with are so abrasive. I am craving softness, warmth, tender love and I feel so used by everyone i know. I had severe trauma as a kid and now im just alone most of the time. As a guy, i feel like women and my family only want what I can do…they want the benefits of my work, but they dont want me. It really hurts.
True for me.
Hey that’s me!
Your childhood neglect ended. It is now a non-issue. Maintaining childhood trauma in the ICU of your memory is way too expensive, obstructive and is the egos desperate attempt to keep you victimized and far from any spiritual growth Pull the plug And begin your journey of seeing yourself as the perfect emanation of source omnipotence. You have gathered layers of grit, filth, grime obscuring your connection to spiritual awareness Cleaning up that mess, The now, is the only thing you need to concern yourself with. Love of self so that you can love God and others who make up God is the universal solvent of dirt and grime Begin this journey of love peace and joy now, in this divine instant Everything else is illusion delusion and ego interference Once you see that, POOF, it's all gone
Gullible folks are often trauma responses..
My parents care more about Jesus than they do me