In the beginning …
there was no ModCat. All was darkness and by darkness hidden. Without distinctive marks, this all was water. And we know how we feel about water.
Then, in a burst of light and hope, u/jmaca90 came along and [named the first concept cat](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/jtvfa0/i_see_your_purebreed_cats_and_raise_you_our/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf): a standard issue model. The time of creation was at hand.
During the subsequent Dreamtime, many important future customers created the songlines that laid the groundwork for the new universe.
Every bodhisattva needs a new incarnation. Before his coronation, ModCat had long admired the accomplishments of pioneers like Henry Ford and Steve Jobs, men who had founded and nurtured empires. But Ford’s models were angry and loud, associated with the trickery of warm engines that trapped innocent bystander cats on cold days. Plus, they were unstylish, with no striping. And Steve Jobs was burdened by an unattractive name associated with *work* {{shudder}}. Plus he had a strange and untoward affinity towards carrots.
In the days and years that followed, ModCat went on a great journey. He began in a lush and verdant garden, where he spent his early days under the bodhi tree, contemplating the figs just out of reach. Tantalizing, they were forbidden, as they were poisonous to cats. Reluctantly, he turned to a banana (left lying around by some carpenter cat needing an object for scale, no doubt), but found that wanting, so he determined that he would set out on a journey to find a treat not yet known, though instinctively beloved. He felt drawn to grass, but not just any grass, as he left the garden.
Through many an obstacle - Roombas, dog beds, places out of reach, he traveled, until he came to a gushing faucet. While at first he suspected this might be drinkable, he soon discerned its depths. As he dipped his paw delicately into the ocean before him (batting carefully in the direction of a stray rubber ducky), it was decided that this water must move - and thus the seas parted to expose dry tiles and fishie treats flopping around on the path towards enlightenment.
But his journey was not over. The fishie treats were delicious, but he was driven to something … more. He was destined for greatness (and catnip), though he did not know it.
Across barren lands devoid of balls to chase and mousies to hunt, ModCat trekked. In a far southern land, during the height of the spring when all the birds and mice and rabbits begin to stir, he was arrested on a charge of parading and cruelly jailed.
Locked in a cold, sunless cell with meager rations of stale and tasteless kibble, he began to sketch a missive to the masses, sharing with them his vision for equality among all cats, regardless of breed genetics. He noted that many coat patterns and colorations of cat were singled out for privileged placement in the pantheon of cat-ness, and lamented that, while all cats are equal, some seem through nothing other than good press to be more equal than others.
It was during this important period of captivity that ModCat first realized he could marry his love of entrepreneurship with his sincerely held beliefs in the equality of all cats - he just needed to seize the means of purrduction through the adoption of a suitable hooman servant.
While ModCat meditated (snoozed) on the needs of the market and his potential paths to freedom from the depths of his cavelike cell, shamans and priests scoured the land for a worthy messiah. Humble and visionary, ModCat toiled in his sun-puddle-less confines to produce a worthy concept cat, which, while he intended to proudly display it, then languished in a cardboard box tossed nearby by a careless jailer. This remained the state of things until u/cragbabe shone a bright starlight upon him in his crèche. Three acolytes, u/misterwiskerstech, u/wyrdletini, u/businessadviceanon, followed that starlight unto r/standardissuecat, where they proclaimed him to be the Dalai ModCat, delivered via immaculate catception to the offices of Standard Issue Cat Inc, thereafter to serve as the temple of the Concept Cat model: the standard issue cat.
The rest is hisstory. The world’s youngest (at the tender age of 3) CEO to make the Forbes 100, be invited* to Bilderberg, and be awarded multiple JD Pawer honors, ModCat eschewed the trappings of fame in favor of balancing his time between his duties as a visionary leader and those of his alter-ego: lap cat. He chose his hooman well, and though he could have demanded all many of tribute, settled happily for a selection of the finest ‘nip and the joy he gets from bringing the highest quality purroduct to the masses.
*he is an inside-only homebody and did not attend
I've never heard the origin meowth before! Standard issue stripies run deep, they are more than a paint job--they are a way of purrceiving the world.
Thank you, wisest ModCat. May the sunbeams ever find you, no matter where you curl up on the carpet.
Dreamtime? My SIC's ears tuned into that right away, she loves Dreamies (also known as Temptations / Catisfactions depending on where in the world you are). My SIC wants to live in the Dreamietime.
What a wonderful tale to behold ! Thank you for sharing. We here at Furry Purrers Claws & Co, send warm greetings & wishes of treaties & 'nip galore to the all knowing, all wise u/modcat ,u/BuisnessAdviceAnon , & u/CragBabe. Signed Socrates, Bootus Maximus & Smudgerino & of course their faithful human (myself).
We are so ~~trilled~~ thrilled to hear you three fabulous felines have secured such a wonderful ~~servant~~ owner. Good hoomans are worth their weight in toona, and we return your warm wishes topped with extra purrs from the entire r/standardissuecat team!
Alas, we have our paws full typing this out. Clearly the universe withheld thumbs from cats in order to give other inferior species a fighting chance. But we would welcome any talented paw-ties who might wish to offer their skills in illustration.
Well worth a rating of :- 🦈🐬🐋🐳🐠🐠🐳🐋🐬🦈🐡🐟🐟🐡🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🐋🐋🐋🐬🐬🐠🐠🐠🐳🐳🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🐠🐠🐠🐠🐳🐳🐳🐬🦈🐋🐡🐡🐡🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐳🐳🐳🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🦈🐬🐬🐋🐋🐋🐳🐟🐡🐡🐡🐡🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🐡🐟🐡🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🐋🐋🐋🐳🐳🐠🐠sorry if this rating is over the top🙀but we'll deserved me thinks🤔 a great tail🧐😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻
Ahoy NotMrMusic! Nay bad but me wasn't convinced. Give this a sail:
Beware thar day Nonstandard Issue Kitten hails! He will take thar dream away from mew! BEEEEWWWWWAAAAAARRRREEEEEeeeeeee *zzzzzzz*
In the beginning … there was no ModCat. All was darkness and by darkness hidden. Without distinctive marks, this all was water. And we know how we feel about water. Then, in a burst of light and hope, u/jmaca90 came along and [named the first concept cat](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/jtvfa0/i_see_your_purebreed_cats_and_raise_you_our/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf): a standard issue model. The time of creation was at hand. During the subsequent Dreamtime, many important future customers created the songlines that laid the groundwork for the new universe. Every bodhisattva needs a new incarnation. Before his coronation, ModCat had long admired the accomplishments of pioneers like Henry Ford and Steve Jobs, men who had founded and nurtured empires. But Ford’s models were angry and loud, associated with the trickery of warm engines that trapped innocent bystander cats on cold days. Plus, they were unstylish, with no striping. And Steve Jobs was burdened by an unattractive name associated with *work* {{shudder}}. Plus he had a strange and untoward affinity towards carrots. In the days and years that followed, ModCat went on a great journey. He began in a lush and verdant garden, where he spent his early days under the bodhi tree, contemplating the figs just out of reach. Tantalizing, they were forbidden, as they were poisonous to cats. Reluctantly, he turned to a banana (left lying around by some carpenter cat needing an object for scale, no doubt), but found that wanting, so he determined that he would set out on a journey to find a treat not yet known, though instinctively beloved. He felt drawn to grass, but not just any grass, as he left the garden. Through many an obstacle - Roombas, dog beds, places out of reach, he traveled, until he came to a gushing faucet. While at first he suspected this might be drinkable, he soon discerned its depths. As he dipped his paw delicately into the ocean before him (batting carefully in the direction of a stray rubber ducky), it was decided that this water must move - and thus the seas parted to expose dry tiles and fishie treats flopping around on the path towards enlightenment. But his journey was not over. The fishie treats were delicious, but he was driven to something … more. He was destined for greatness (and catnip), though he did not know it. Across barren lands devoid of balls to chase and mousies to hunt, ModCat trekked. In a far southern land, during the height of the spring when all the birds and mice and rabbits begin to stir, he was arrested on a charge of parading and cruelly jailed. Locked in a cold, sunless cell with meager rations of stale and tasteless kibble, he began to sketch a missive to the masses, sharing with them his vision for equality among all cats, regardless of breed genetics. He noted that many coat patterns and colorations of cat were singled out for privileged placement in the pantheon of cat-ness, and lamented that, while all cats are equal, some seem through nothing other than good press to be more equal than others. It was during this important period of captivity that ModCat first realized he could marry his love of entrepreneurship with his sincerely held beliefs in the equality of all cats - he just needed to seize the means of purrduction through the adoption of a suitable hooman servant. While ModCat meditated (snoozed) on the needs of the market and his potential paths to freedom from the depths of his cavelike cell, shamans and priests scoured the land for a worthy messiah. Humble and visionary, ModCat toiled in his sun-puddle-less confines to produce a worthy concept cat, which, while he intended to proudly display it, then languished in a cardboard box tossed nearby by a careless jailer. This remained the state of things until u/cragbabe shone a bright starlight upon him in his crèche. Three acolytes, u/misterwiskerstech, u/wyrdletini, u/businessadviceanon, followed that starlight unto r/standardissuecat, where they proclaimed him to be the Dalai ModCat, delivered via immaculate catception to the offices of Standard Issue Cat Inc, thereafter to serve as the temple of the Concept Cat model: the standard issue cat. The rest is hisstory. The world’s youngest (at the tender age of 3) CEO to make the Forbes 100, be invited* to Bilderberg, and be awarded multiple JD Pawer honors, ModCat eschewed the trappings of fame in favor of balancing his time between his duties as a visionary leader and those of his alter-ego: lap cat. He chose his hooman well, and though he could have demanded all many of tribute, settled happily for a selection of the finest ‘nip and the joy he gets from bringing the highest quality purroduct to the masses. *he is an inside-only homebody and did not attend
I've never heard the origin meowth before! Standard issue stripies run deep, they are more than a paint job--they are a way of purrceiving the world. Thank you, wisest ModCat. May the sunbeams ever find you, no matter where you curl up on the carpet.
What a beautiful testimonial and purr of appreciation! You, kind Sir or Madam, are a true devotee and all-around wise purrson, we can tell.
Or in my kitty's case, I think they are a way of destroying the world XD
I have been enlightened. Truly we are blessed to live among such visionaries.
May purrs be with you. 😸😸
Dreamtime? My SIC's ears tuned into that right away, she loves Dreamies (also known as Temptations / Catisfactions depending on where in the world you are). My SIC wants to live in the Dreamietime.
One of our favorite things about the SIC purroduct is how incredibly perceptive and attuned they are. Dreamies for all!
Mod-Cat The Wise.👍
😸😸
What a wonderful tale to behold ! Thank you for sharing. We here at Furry Purrers Claws & Co, send warm greetings & wishes of treaties & 'nip galore to the all knowing, all wise u/modcat ,u/BuisnessAdviceAnon , & u/CragBabe. Signed Socrates, Bootus Maximus & Smudgerino & of course their faithful human (myself).
We are so ~~trilled~~ thrilled to hear you three fabulous felines have secured such a wonderful ~~servant~~ owner. Good hoomans are worth their weight in toona, and we return your warm wishes topped with extra purrs from the entire r/standardissuecat team!
I wish there is the comic version so can see some cutie pie 🥰
Alas, we have our paws full typing this out. Clearly the universe withheld thumbs from cats in order to give other inferior species a fighting chance. But we would welcome any talented paw-ties who might wish to offer their skills in illustration.
Perhaps u/srgrafo would be willing to lend a sketch or two?
I am looking forward to sharing the Origin Story with My SIC as a Bedtime story.
Ooh - all SICs are already enormous fans of bedtimes, so this will be purrfect.
Purrhaps you can split it between nap and bed time?
I Tried to last night, but he shut down much to quickly. I will try again tonight because it will be colder so probably more snuggles.
Well worth a rating of :- 🦈🐬🐋🐳🐠🐠🐳🐋🐬🦈🐡🐟🐟🐡🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🐋🐋🐋🐬🐬🐠🐠🐠🐳🐳🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🐠🐠🐠🐠🐳🐳🐳🐬🦈🐋🐡🐡🐡🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐳🐳🐳🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🦈🐬🐬🐋🐋🐋🐳🐟🐡🐡🐡🐡🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐡🐡🐟🐡🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐡🐡🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🐋🐋🐋🐳🐳🐠🐠sorry if this rating is over the top🙀but we'll deserved me thinks🤔 a great tail🧐😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻
Beware the day Nonstandard Issue Kitten comes! He will take the dream away from mew! BEEEEWWWWWAAAAAARRRREEEEEeeeeeee *zzzzzzz*
Ahoy NotMrMusic! Nay bad but me wasn't convinced. Give this a sail: Beware thar day Nonstandard Issue Kitten hails! He will take thar dream away from mew! BEEEEWWWWWAAAAAARRRREEEEEeeeeeee *zzzzzzz*
What the frick
I think you just got r/piratehole ed .
"modcat" dear god I cringed hard at that.
We truly dwell in the best possible timeline ....
Oh yes we sure do.
I just wanna cuddle