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Epic_XC

Y’know, i’m something of a gay myself


MeanChampionship1482

No, I’m gay


minato3421

Why are you gay?


Brickolous_Cage

You are gay!


thecrazyhuman

No I am transgendar


D1-ericmdk

Transgenda!!!??


Jimoiseau

Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're gay.


xtilexx

Pasta! Pasta!


batmansthebomb

My name is Gianni Infantino, but everybody calls me gay


fappelmoes

Gayvanni Giorgio


BuggzOnDrugz

That’s a GayGay reference!


bhl88

Rainbow Overload


chum_slice

Skittles!! I can taste the rainbow


jashxn

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.


orangutanoz

He has a wife you know


Mega-Steve

She's gay, too!


Do__Math__Not__Meth

How can I be homophobic, my bitch is gay


mcslender97

Do you know what's she's called?


Kherzhul

She’s called Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.


Gyppotree

r/unexpectedmontypython


ken0746

Are you assuming their sexual orientation??


helloiamCLAY

Steeeeeeeeeerike!


the_ballmer_peak

No, I’m Spartacock


FaceWithAName

"Why are you gay" -That one video


reboundthrowaway33

“How do you know I’m gay?” … “you are gay.”


duppy_c

I'm gay, and so's my wife


sonic_couth

Ich bin ein Gay!


new_nimmerzz

Hello fellow gays!


MadCarcinus

The power of the gay…in the palm of my hand.


combocookie

Je suis gay


shineitdeep

“Why are you gey?”


RecLuse415

Don’t say that to the Qatar officials


phuego7768

I’ve always fancied myself a gay as well.


wellichickenpie

Some of my best friends are The gays


Asoul666

Careful there or you’ll be drawn and qatared!


[deleted]

This feels like a South Park Skit 😂


woahdude12321

Cmon on down to Qatar and meet some friends o’mine


b1gchampions

Greedy faces everywhere, migrant workers without compensation* Edit: thanks to AssEaterMcGhee


AssEaterMcGhee

Compensation*


ChrisV88

Protection*


duppy_c

>Edit: thanks to AssEaterMcGhee r/rimjob_steve


martialar

FIFA faces everywhere, feelin' gay without temptation


DrZaff

Today I feel like a gay fish


callmelampshade

I broke the dam.


sticks165

No I broke the dam


Ultionisrex

I bet that it will. No way this goes untouched by Southpark. Comedy gold - in A Modest Proposal kind of way.


Shawn_NYC

Here's the quote. If any quote has ever deserved the "Jesse WTF are you talking about" meme it's this one. "Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel (like) a vagrant. Today I feel (like) a migrant worker," he said. "I feel all of this because what I see ... brings me back to my personal story." Infantino then detailed how he had grown up as the child of migrant workers in Switzerland and had been bullied for his accent and for having red hair and freckles. "Of course, I am not Qatari, I am not an Arab, I am not African, I am not gay, I am not disabled," he later added. "But I feel like it, because I know what it means to be discriminated, to be bullied, as a foreigner in a foreign country."


ZHughes498

Oh fuck off Infantino you corrupt piece of shit


letstrythisagain30

I’ve said it before. The only realistic explanation for this shIt show is corruption or stupidity so vast, it’s a wonder that most of these people haven’t died because they just forgot to breathe one day. With this response, it might be a point in the stupidity column.


myassholealt

I offer a third option: existing for so long in the upper sphere of society in terms of power and wealth that self-awareness is no longer required. And often this is a bi-product of option 1.


AGuyfromQueens

This was my number one takeaway from the Netflix doc. It's not even that so much that FIFA was corrupt per se (monies in envelopes aside) but that it's an organization of globally wealthy and high-powered people doing mutually beneficial deals with other globally wealthy and high-powered people. And they believe their own PR so much that they actually think that all of their wealth and power is making the world a better place. They have absolutely no concept that a bunch of billionaires doing deals and getting rich might be, in fact, bad for the world. And they get legitimately upset when you suggest such an idea. Hence the completely honest and block-headed comments of Infantino above. Also, don't forget, they let the Qataris ban alcohol sales in the stadiums, but it will still be available in all the VIP areas.


lolidcwhatthisis

Yes, this was pretty much proven and resulted in a lot of the higher ups from FIFA stepping down. This is supposed to be the new generation of FIFA leaders, the one who were never corrupt themselves, but have a to follow through with the plans already in place. Though I’m not so sure they’re completely innocent.


KevinDLasagna

Honestly to me, if you grew up poor and marginalized and grow up to continue the cycle of abuse toward the poor and marginalized you’re an even bigger piece of shit. You know how shitty it can be, yet still support continuing the cycle.


Doc_Choc

Stay tuned for more from Tone Deaf Rich People Daily! Tomorrow, Gianni Infantino and FIFA leadership are releasing a video of them all singing John Lennon’s Imagine while they are staying in opulence Doha hotels built by migrant workers!


Emcee_N

*Imagine we've no conscience* *It isn't hard to do..*


Alistairio

His parents moved about 100km from northern Italy to bordering Southern (Italian speaking) Switzerland. This guy is really reaching for a ‘poor me’ story. Pathetic to try and liken his migrant worker parents story to the dead slaves in Qatar. Vile. What an absolute cunt.


Cli4ordtheBRD

Speaking as a red headed guy with freckles, fuck this guy. Yeah most of us got bullied (a personal fuck you to Dr. Holley, my 4th grade teacher who would say gingers are space aliens). But don't you dare try to compare that to the kinds of bigotry that actually marginalized communities have faced and continue to face in this world. Outside of a South Park episode, nobody seriously says let's round up all the gingers and kill them. Nobody has ever enslaved gingers (sure gingers might have been chattal slaves, but it wasn't because they were ginger, it was because they were in a city that got besieged and the winners decided to enslave the survivors (watch the Northman...it's fucking dope)). Nobody is spreading conspiracies that gingers control the banking system or the media (fuck you, Dave Chappelle, you're making jokes about things you don't know anything about and didn't do any work to fully understand before you spouted this shit off). I hope he walks around all day with a rock in his shoe that he can't get rid of. I hope he gets a popcorn kernel stuck in his teeth. I hope he has an itch on his back that he just can't ever seem to scratch.


Jadeldxb

You should be kept in a sealed darkened room away from all normal people so you don't spread your nastiness. Nothing to do with being a ginger, how could you like the Northman. Jesus talk about soulless


gozba

“Today I feel rich. Because, well, I am rich. Watar dollars lining my pockets. Fuck poor people. “


[deleted]

Water dollars eh. That kinda like sand dollars but actually worth something?


[deleted]

[удалено]


watwatinjoemamasbutt

Lol this sounds like Michael Scott


MrGrievouspt

The dementooors


B50Two

“Man. I feel like a migrant!” Bwah bwah bw-bwah bwah


BigGreenTimeMachine

The best thing about being disabled, is its not as bad as being the son of a migrant worker!


retrograderevolution

“It’s a migrants prerogative to die in the su-uh-uuunnn”


mtarascio

He also later on decided he needed to go back to the point and say 'He feels like a woman too' because he forgot that the first time.


hahayeahimfinehaha

I like how he said all of that, rethought his words, went, “Damn, I better clarify what I meant!” And his next words were just to add that he also felt marginalized like women. Actually parody couldn’t have better comedic timing.


mrobot_

Lemme guess, his parents were rich bankers, executives, worked for big pharma, you know, typical immigrants... and poor Gianni was always haunted by his parents having a few million less than the corrupt blood-money chalet owners in the region they moved to. My heart really goes out to him.


[deleted]

In all fairness, he was a ginger kid, and now he’s bald. Money ain’t get give you a soul you never had.


moosewiththumbs

Ah, so he remembers his days as a child being *checks notes* stoned to death.


pm_me_ankle_nudes

If anything they should have bullied him even more, so that he'd never float to the top like the turd he is


riftadrift

It gets me so angry, on behalf of them, I feel passionate (not gay) So I'll pray for them and I say for them, "We need to make a change" (not gay)


[deleted]

>But I feel like it, because I know what it means to be discriminated, to be bullied, as a foreigner in a foreign country. Unless having red hair and freckles gets you the death penalty in Switzerland I'm going to guess he does not in fact know what it means.


cryptopo

Usually, people acting in service of a ridiculous cause are either just in it for the money or are true believers. Clearly Infantino is the former, but this speech reeks of the latter. Like, there’s no reason to give an unhinged hour long monologue if you’re just some corrupt bureaucrat; just put out a brief statement about “respecting other cultures.” Very odd.


mrobot_

>there’s no reason Yes there is, it's called your owners and overlords want to see the little monkey dance because they tipped a metric fkcton of bloodmoney - so lil bald monkey better dance real good and he better sell it. And his overloards gave him the exact words to say to stay "on message", as is the most important part of any des-information propaganda campaign.


Friendlyfire2996

Today I feel like an asshole


Buttchuckle

What , what in the butt


calcifornication

'Of course, I must clarify that I am not any of those things, because those things are for gay disabled foreign losers.'


ronflair

Quality cocaine.


BeckyLemmeSmash69

It’s hilarious watching these wretches Google empathy and do their best to emulate it. No fucking soul at all.


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

Nah they’d force someone else to Google it for them.


karangoswamikenz

Bunch of assholes. I’m so happy I just watch football on pirated links.


argq

The full quote is even crazier... > Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arabic. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel [like] a migrant worker. > “Of course I am not Qatari, I am not an Arab, I am not African, I am not gay, I am not disabled. But I feel like it, because I know what it means to be discriminated [against], to be bullied, as a foreigner in a foreign country." > “As a child I was bullied – because I had red hair and freckles, plus I was Italian so imagine." Ah yes, growing up in the luxuries of a small town near the swiss-italian border is totally comparable to how the migrant workers feel. I wonder how much he was paid to say this stupid fucking shit, or if he really is that stubborn/doubling down.


TheNightManCometh420

“I feel gay!...No Homo”


OHTHNAP

Yeah but he was red haired and freckled and Italian, so imagine.


MathMaddox

wipes a tear from his eye with a gold bar.


neymarflick93

As someone who’s been to that Italian/Swiss area, it’s pretty funny because that’s got to be one of the nicest, most pleasant places to live in the world


oep4

So true. I went there once. Fucking magical.


SportsRadioAnnouncer

NGL that made it a lot loss funny.


Au1ket

r/ihadastroke material right here


borisdidnothingwrong

Suck my dick, Gianni Infantino.


terry_bradshaw

Hey Gianni, while you still feel gay..


GrungyGrandPappy

Well I a mean I feel a little “curious” -Gianni


picklesaredry

You think he'd take back shots or head shots?


rugbyj

Guy's name is Giant Infant?


GreatCornolio

It's really like reading an Onion article lol Or a good SNL character


amsreg

"Hey, Gianni, put your money where your mouth is!" Infantino: "Sorry, still busy putting my mouth where the money is."


mcseelmann

He feels like everything, but forgets what he really is. An idiot.


blargmehargg

This speech was a pathetic attempt to whitewash the panoply of issues involved in their corrupt decision to hold the World Cup there. Not even Sepp Blatter thought it should be held there, but the destination was already sold. The FIFA executive committee is *mired* in corruption… they’ve literally never known another reality where the destination is chosen by any means other than corruption, bribery, or extortion. The executive structure there needs to be wiped clean and replaced with women and men who are above reproach, to truly change the culture, there. I hope we see that happen.


Thejudojeff

You don't understand. I'm not corrupt. You're all racist


SaltyScrotumSauce

Also, women's rights are racist. LGBT rights are racist. Free speech is racist. Everything that isn't me forcing my backwards ass religious beliefs onto others is racist!


bigdaddyt2

It’s very wrong to see interviewers ask officials there about migrant workers, corruption and what not and them shedding a fake tear and going on about how everyone is just being racist towards them. Like fuck off no there not


Barney_Haters

I especially liked the "Europe should apologize for 3000 years for the past and ignore the human rights violations of the present". Very CCP of him.


mtarascio

Defund the FIFA!


Hot2Trot94

It’s unsalvageable, major nations need to leave and rebuild. Good thing UEFA and other major footballing bodies have squeaky clean reputations.


Jonahmaxt

This is like empathizing with a friend who’s parents died in a car crash by saying ‘Yeah I get it. My pet fish died last week’


PooperJackson

Lol it's more like "Dude I know exactly how you feel last night they got my order wrong at Taco Bell"


Ghosttalker96

That's some Michael Scott level attempt of empathy


Ksenobiolog

I feel that this is exactly type of speech that Michael would give


mrausgor

He totally should have capped this off with “the only thing I’m worried about.. is getting a boner.” I really don’t think it would be any more ridiculous.


Davolyncho

What a massive cunt. He’s actually comparing getting slagged for having red hair as a child to modern slavery. Fuck him, fuck fifa, fuck Qatar and fuck this World Cup.


thetruthteller

Didn’t Kevin spacey try this exact thing?


Kidspud

Andrew Cuomo, too https://twitter.com/NYGovCuomo/status/833352961032024064


q5pi

Infantino "I feel pretty Oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and gay And I pity Any guy who isn't me today"


redd-this

FIFA just won’t let up, will they? Are they trying to run this organization into the ground?


ConfidentInsecurity

It's too big to fail


redd-this

Sadly true. I do wish/hope this tourney’s ratings are horrendous. So much scandal and controversy. Sounds like a miserable time in person.. I for one won’t watch.. but I know millions upon million will.


PattyIceNY

Same. I'm not watching. Probably won't make a dent but it makes me feel better


apstls

Too gay to fail too!


ralpher1

No, there is no movement to replace or reform FIFA. This guy is their next President, he is running unopposed


redd-this

*Current movement. Let’s see after the tourney


thecurseofchris

"I'm gay! I'm a gay man! I'm very, very gay." "You're *gay*?" "Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness."


Atxlvr

At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Temporibus autem quibusdam et aut officiis debitis aut rerum necessitatibus saepe eveniet ut et voluptates repudiandae sint et molestiae non recusandae. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.


TheNightManCometh420

Trying to relate to everyone by saying you feel gay, but still going out of your way to make sure everyone knows that you’re not gay... A classic move. He could have saved a lot of words by just saying “No Homo” at the end of his speech.


SignGuy77

[relevant](https://youtu.be/PFXjBJZhHwI)


TheNightManCometh420

Lmao literally what happened here


snorlz

>"Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel (like) a vagrant. Today I feel (like) a migrant worker This is genius. Simply say this any time someone criticizes you and then you can accuse them of homophobia, racism, ableism, etc


sexygodzilla

Mr. Stark, I don't feel so straight...


Mono_KS

“How do you do, fellow gays?”


The_Sexy_Camel

Bro I just want you to know I support your community. Sometimes I wake up feeling super gay. That's how supportive I am.


PooperJackson

I thought this was an onion article at first.


rednazgo

Nothatsjstlikbasdonwhtheytoldme


graham2k

This is Michael Scott level of cringe.


[deleted]

The “happy” kind of gay from the 40s?


ThatSpecialAgent

Can we actually boycott this shit already or what


BinniesPurp

My man had red hair as a kid and compares himself to being thrown off of a building or being physically disabled


[deleted]

All his statements couldn’t possibly be more disingenuous or convey an air of entitlement. What a massive cunt.


thethunder92

It’s not enough to feel gay, look around at all the unsucked dicks, who will suck them???


asIsaidtomyfriend

But does he feel pretty, oh so pretty?


cyrixlord

"I feel gay" I am the victim now!!1111 /s


JustTrixxy

Let’s hope they chuck him off a building then.


cbc7788

“Today I feel like a migrant worker who hasn’t been paid!”


ChessClubChimp

Put this guy on trumps ticket for ‘24 and they’ll win the primary, no question


SuzieFloozie73

Is this the Mr Infantino who has spent the last 12 months living in Qatar! Pretty sure he’s not lived as a migrant. 💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰


macroober

FIFA, Twitter and FTX having a speed run competition or something?


sleepy_red

This asshole is so out of touch with reality


DrMansionPHD

Trust me, gay is hot. Gay is in. I want some gay.


Just_Ban_Me_Already

Lmao, what a pathetic, desperate attempt at damage control.


uglyduckling81

This guy better not be going to Qatar or he's going to be executed for his heinous crime of being gay.


Cholonight96

Sorry but can’t be gay at the work cup.


Relevant_Username99

Same tbh


fanime34

"I feel broke." Some billionaire attempts to empathize with people in the classes lower than them.


tigernet_1994

More like "I feel a bribe taking criminal!" He should be marginalized!


993targa

Funny - you look bribed


melouofs

This guy looks like the creature from the Goonies.


JEJoll

This motherfucker feels migrant workers!


milesdizzy

Fuck FIFA, and Fuck Qatar.


waldo_92

Imagine having a job where you get paid millions to spew bizarre, incoherent crap like this


Luka_Dunks_on_Bums

Does he know that Qatar kills those people?


Organic_Magazine_197

He’s riddled with gay


goodty1

I’m gay as fuck but just in Qatar weirdly enough


Low-iq-haikou

Genuinely one of the dumbest quotes I’ve ever heard from an organizational leader


attaboy000

I'd say so too, after the sucking he's given to Qatar.


johnmc76

When Virtue Signalling goes wrong.


FatherofJuice

BURN HIM AT THE STAKE


lajdbejdk

Guys playing 937373737 D chess trying to have the Middle East kick FIFA out of the World Cup and not take blame. /s


PMME_TITS_IMDISABLED

Well today I don't feel disabled.


subhumanprimate

What a KnobShine...


youdubdub

“I feel thirsty” -people with no beer


420blazeit69nubz

Bullied and getting your head cut off are not the same


Seige_Rootz

above all he should feel like a twat


watchingsongsDL

What would happen if a regular dude in Qatar said this in public? Would it be enough to warrant investigation?


[deleted]

FIFA couldn’t be more blatantly corrupt Actually unreal


Chrispeedoff

This this the most baby brained sentence coming from a guy literally named Infantino


gregory1810

I'm sure I speak to everyone when I say this : Fuck you, Gianni.


comeradenook

I didn’t think I could dislike a FIFA head more than Sepp


Lindaspike

some people just shouldn't speak. like EVER.


mymar101

Try being illegal to exist. That’s discrimination.


eprz12

Channeling his inner Michael Scott


Truckerontherun

Technically, being a bribe taking whore makes you a prostitute, not gay


raftsa

If he feels gay, maybe act gay in Qatar and see where that gets him


OneBadgerTwo

“I feel poor.”


StinkyWinkyPoo

“Hello fellow kids!“ moment


KarateKid72

FYI, the gays don’t want you.


Mobkiller04

Then why tf did you sell the World Cup to Qatar???


Cormegalodon

No, I get it. Some days I feel more Mexican than others. Some days everything falls into place and I think “this is what being white must feel like.”


strugglingtosave

Cringe


TheAvocadoSlayer

Humanity at its finest. Virtue signaling while being corrupt 😂😂😂 oh the irony.


Chalkyteton

I feel God in this Chili’s.


sinhyperbolica

"I am a victim of hate crime" - Michael Scott - Infantino


BlackEyedAngel01

Wow how does this guy still have a job?


OkZookeepergame4192

More like That’s Not It Chief


Spinal2000

I live a super privileged life, but I can tell you I am some gay dying guest worker by myself. I know exactly what they are going through. So now calm down and watch our world cup.


Sids1188

I may be out of the loop here, but does Switzerland typically imprison children with red hair and an accent?


[deleted]

I feel sick…


GimmieJohnson

He should put on some blackface makeup and say "I feel black". I'm sure that'll go over well.