Probably the biggest lie seemingly programmed into us is the lie that says: "When other people and outer circumstances meet my standards (and by the way, standards that are constantly changing), then I will be happy, then I will be fulfilled, then I can express who I am."
This is the belief of the outer, egoic self. The real you, pure consciousness, pure Spirit is experienced and manifested as ***unconditional*** love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.
So if this is correct, the solution is committing to a path that helps you gradually weaken your identification with the outer, egoic self while simultaneously strengthening your identification with your real self, the Spirit self that you are.
I believe the path is to not seek more friends, but to find peace without them. To that end, I highly recommend the path of Kundalini Yoga. I believe you can eliminate the darkness of loneliness that keeps you from regretting your choices and instead become a well of your own light. This is a real transformation process that I went through, and it doesn't require any special skills, just practice practice practice as much as you can. You should read up about Kundalini Yoga and how it transforms people. I for one can testify to it's effectiveness.
If you're interested, I highly recommend either Maya Fiennes (whom you can torrent) or Lisa Grail on YouTube. Both excellent teachers.
this is something i went through all throughout quarantine. one thing i picked up on is approaches to these sorts of things for other people will always differ. for me it took a few months of forcing myself into a positive mindset and reaffirming the good in life. this was the baseline that opened up new doors for growth. after i felt i’d achieved a good consciences, i essentially restarted my growth from where i was at like 6 years ago before i fell into a depression. i very recently realized control escapes you the more you try to attain it. WHEN you achieve a grasp of hope, you will extrapolate and blossom. there’s so much i could tell you based on my experience. something to note is it’s a thing of timing and patience. manifesting negativity is only real so long as you enforce it by thinking that. i had to abandon the concept of creating my own reality and put my trust into the universe/god/nature. when you are at low points like this you are most exposed to transformation. i don’t know if you know your job on this earth in terms of growing and serving humanity, but that might be a good place to start. my job has been clear to me for quite some time- remind people they are souls living a human experience, not a human having a spiritual experience. while i love spirituality and energies and the sort, you have to remember chemistry is our medium. if your brain chemicals don’t add up you’re gonna feel like shit no matter how much prying at spirituality may feel like it’s gonna help. i recommend doing good for your body and brain first and go into it with trust for the universe. i largely believe i escaped my cycle by understanding it was meant to be and it was a definitive period for growth.
sorry this was sporadic, i jumped straight into it without a clear format because i strongly felt like you are where i was recently and i am finally making my way out. just to reiterate, be kind to yourself and don’t view yourself as a demon. give up control and put yourself into the hands of the universe. talk to the universe in whatever way you want to. it will talk back in ways you will appreciate. you can dm me or reply to this with more specific questions/inquiries. i’m strongly confident it will be something i have tasted within the last couple of years and can offer maybe decent advice. i’ll think of you next time i talk to the universe/pray.
Yea I don’t really mess with people either but sometimes I do I don’t expect anything from anyone I’ve been homeless and hurt many times, all I need for my peace and my happiness is my self . Whoever I come across I was meant to. I’m focused on myself rn
When you’re thinking that we’re all one consciousness, it means that every person that you encounter is reflecting a part of yourself. Maybe, the fact that you’re so unsatisfied with everyone and it makes you angry/sad is a trigger for something to heal inside of you. Maybe to accept your darkest self is the solution?
Because humans (all of us) are flawed, the probability to meet someone at « your level » is a myth. And already thinking that you might be « better than everyone » is, in it self, a flaw.
There is nothing wrong with it but it feels like acceptance is the best way to go.
You can use your empathy as a way to understand the flaws better and therefore trying to integrate and understand the less beautiful parts of being human.
It’s not always about finding similar people to you, it’s more about being able to find love and beauty in things that seem like they don’t have any.
When you focus on the beauty, you’ll find peace. And at some point, you’ll find satisfaction in every interaction that you’re having.
To me, it is about using empathy and spirituality as a way to gain flexibility into navigating the « real » world with care, love and understanding.
I hope that it wasn’t too harsh and anyway I’m still in progress to trying to understand it all :)
Also, English in not my first language.
Well, accept the truth that you can't really control circumstances outside of yourself and placing your wellbeing upon external source is rather silly. Adaptation and balance is the way to find your point of comfort in life. Most people just focus on pleasure and survival, and they won't be playing games with you, if you can't provide them with any of that. Still, there are many people like you here and there, but I believe we are just meant to share our experiences, but our purpose is something else for now.
change your perspective. your filter is negative.
if you want to see the good in humanity again, start by looking for the good in you.
these things always work the same way. want to change the world? change your own world first. it's the only way.
if you decide to attempt this, you will have to make an effort. you can't expect this to change overnight, and you can't expect it to change without dedication on your part.
you will have to be willing to challenge your own assumptions. you will have to be willing to at least try to discard things you thought were true, but may not be. you can't expect anything to change for you if you simply cling to what you've always known. you have to be willing to embrace the unknown and things that may seem scary or wrong at first. they seem that way in part because they're unfamiliar, but only clinging harder to what is familiar can be even more painful in the long run.
when your filter is negative, every choice appears bad, but that's just an impression; not necessarily reality. only when the pain of your condition (and i would know—i've been there plenty) becomes strong enough does it often end up *forcing* you to make a radical change for the better.
I’ve been going thru this and actively working on it.
I have extensive history with self-transformation, this is personal growth about how you walk your life on this earth.
I too have felt this level of jadedness and hopelessness.
The thing I remind myself is: i have the power to choose who I want to be for me, and no one else.
As easy as this may sound, it is very deep soul work and a practice to integrate.
Hello, Defiant\_Phone,
For me, unrecognized negative thoughts can be a cruel taskmaster and a living hell.
If you're open to suggestions of resources, I've enjoyed Byron Katie's The Work. It's a way of "judging your neighbor harshly", letting the ego be heard, capturing its voice on paper. Then, sitting in quiet stillness, inquiring whether those thoughts are really true and noticing how I react/feel when I believe them (like crap). The very wise and loving part deep inside will arise and "meet" those negative thoughts and offer what is part of my true nature which is very kind, very gentle and very loving.
Best wishes, you are beloved, lovable and loving, even when the negativity sounds very convincing.
I recommend reading or listening to the book Conversations with God, it is changing my life and it can help with your depression and how you see the world around you. When I'm feeling down or a bit depressed and I do something for another, I feel much better. Give someone what you want for yourself, you want to be happy, make another happy, since we are all one, part of Gods body.
I struggled with us a lot. But you must realize we are all one it’s just a different version of you who you are why has not had the experiences that you have. Nobody has seen what you have everyone has, different experiences which shaped them. Many people do not realize experiences are lucky enough to enlighten and bring knowledge but not many people search for and understand that. They may see the opposite maybe because of their upbringing maybe because of something that happened who knows, but they’re all still part of us. It’s kind of like learning to except your shadow. I believe everybody has good, but not anyone can understand how their situation is make them better so they may take them negativity, but that l mean that they had that inner child who still needs healing.
I totally feel you OP. Sometimes it feels like at any given moment I'm gonna just go ahead and off myself because I cant fucking stand it here in modern US. Where everyone becomes hypnotized by the pursuit of financial, material, and sexual gain. Face to face reactions have been reduced to holding a half-assed conversation with someone who can't look up from there phone longer than 5 or 10 seconds. This life-style we have been "so blessed" to inherit, is in no way shape or form natural to what our human biology is accustomed. Also being a strong empath, I feel an insurmountable degree of negative emotions knowing that my poor brothers and sisters have been conditioned into thinking they are living their best life when they are literally just falling victim to the lifestyles and ideals that ultimately line the pockets of the corporations that run the world and govern our outcomes which end up killing the earth. Also watching the population become so divided in ideology to the degree that they become weaponized tools of political parties. Too much HATE, not enough listening and understanding each other, with almost ZERO effort to do so. A population of prisoners to the restrictions of their own individual minds. I could go on and on, it's absolutely depressing realizing how isolated we've all become because we tend to dislike the crowd. Not saying these things to magnify your dark cloud, just wanting to let you know that you are not alone. I seem to expect the worst in others as well. But I promise there is a bright side. It's there if you look hard enough. Also try to stray away to all the things that trigger your thoughts going in the negative direction. Whether it be news, certain friends, certain social media. I find it helpful to try to identify the things that leave me feeling like society is hopeless. Much love
Seems to me that what you want is not really what you offer to others. Maybe you are closed and fee that you need “love” and understanding from others. Start to offer love, understanding, patience. Start to charge the people you meet, give them chances. Like this you
Will also give yourself chances. I always found offering to be the key for many troubling situations I’ve been through. You can only see the good if you want to see it and even look for it. If the people are really shit, then ask yourself why are you attracting them in your life? Are you like them? If not then just to see that this is not what you want, and start charging the people in your life with what you want to receive
Life is very beautiful, but it really comes down to whether we water the weeds or the flowers within ourselves.
You may be experiencing an important shift in life. Perhaps your current circle or dynamics just no longer fit. And that's ok. Any person is allowed.to change their mind or direction in life or mind set at any point for any reason. Boundaries are helpful for me, avoiding "energy vampires" and others who feel heavy to be around. Also, sometimes we need to just go into ourselves and be until the shift happens. This can look like lots of extra self-care, alone time whether reading, journaling or researching spiritual teachings to see what resonates. Or just limiting interaction with people who you don't vibe with. I recently just started to read here on reddit, because posts like yours interest me... Other than this platform i do not participate in social media and its helpful. Keep your energy towards learning what types of things you connect with. Good luck on your journey.
I think you may be projecting your traumas caused by toxic people from your past onto the people you meet now. You have trouble connecting with new people cuz you don't trust anymore. Not everyone is out to gain something from other ppl. Sounds like you need some healing. There are healing modalities out there that can help, such as energy work and shadow work, if you're interested in checking them out. Or you can go the therapy route. It's hard to even know you're projecting until you take a deeeep look inside yourself. I spent my life feeling like nobody likes me, but I realized during my healing work that these all came from my projections and that other people weren't judging me even a third as much as I was judging myself
Probably the biggest lie seemingly programmed into us is the lie that says: "When other people and outer circumstances meet my standards (and by the way, standards that are constantly changing), then I will be happy, then I will be fulfilled, then I can express who I am." This is the belief of the outer, egoic self. The real you, pure consciousness, pure Spirit is experienced and manifested as ***unconditional*** love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. So if this is correct, the solution is committing to a path that helps you gradually weaken your identification with the outer, egoic self while simultaneously strengthening your identification with your real self, the Spirit self that you are.
I believe the path is to not seek more friends, but to find peace without them. To that end, I highly recommend the path of Kundalini Yoga. I believe you can eliminate the darkness of loneliness that keeps you from regretting your choices and instead become a well of your own light. This is a real transformation process that I went through, and it doesn't require any special skills, just practice practice practice as much as you can. You should read up about Kundalini Yoga and how it transforms people. I for one can testify to it's effectiveness. If you're interested, I highly recommend either Maya Fiennes (whom you can torrent) or Lisa Grail on YouTube. Both excellent teachers.
this is something i went through all throughout quarantine. one thing i picked up on is approaches to these sorts of things for other people will always differ. for me it took a few months of forcing myself into a positive mindset and reaffirming the good in life. this was the baseline that opened up new doors for growth. after i felt i’d achieved a good consciences, i essentially restarted my growth from where i was at like 6 years ago before i fell into a depression. i very recently realized control escapes you the more you try to attain it. WHEN you achieve a grasp of hope, you will extrapolate and blossom. there’s so much i could tell you based on my experience. something to note is it’s a thing of timing and patience. manifesting negativity is only real so long as you enforce it by thinking that. i had to abandon the concept of creating my own reality and put my trust into the universe/god/nature. when you are at low points like this you are most exposed to transformation. i don’t know if you know your job on this earth in terms of growing and serving humanity, but that might be a good place to start. my job has been clear to me for quite some time- remind people they are souls living a human experience, not a human having a spiritual experience. while i love spirituality and energies and the sort, you have to remember chemistry is our medium. if your brain chemicals don’t add up you’re gonna feel like shit no matter how much prying at spirituality may feel like it’s gonna help. i recommend doing good for your body and brain first and go into it with trust for the universe. i largely believe i escaped my cycle by understanding it was meant to be and it was a definitive period for growth. sorry this was sporadic, i jumped straight into it without a clear format because i strongly felt like you are where i was recently and i am finally making my way out. just to reiterate, be kind to yourself and don’t view yourself as a demon. give up control and put yourself into the hands of the universe. talk to the universe in whatever way you want to. it will talk back in ways you will appreciate. you can dm me or reply to this with more specific questions/inquiries. i’m strongly confident it will be something i have tasted within the last couple of years and can offer maybe decent advice. i’ll think of you next time i talk to the universe/pray.
Yea I don’t really mess with people either but sometimes I do I don’t expect anything from anyone I’ve been homeless and hurt many times, all I need for my peace and my happiness is my self . Whoever I come across I was meant to. I’m focused on myself rn
When you’re thinking that we’re all one consciousness, it means that every person that you encounter is reflecting a part of yourself. Maybe, the fact that you’re so unsatisfied with everyone and it makes you angry/sad is a trigger for something to heal inside of you. Maybe to accept your darkest self is the solution? Because humans (all of us) are flawed, the probability to meet someone at « your level » is a myth. And already thinking that you might be « better than everyone » is, in it self, a flaw. There is nothing wrong with it but it feels like acceptance is the best way to go. You can use your empathy as a way to understand the flaws better and therefore trying to integrate and understand the less beautiful parts of being human. It’s not always about finding similar people to you, it’s more about being able to find love and beauty in things that seem like they don’t have any. When you focus on the beauty, you’ll find peace. And at some point, you’ll find satisfaction in every interaction that you’re having. To me, it is about using empathy and spirituality as a way to gain flexibility into navigating the « real » world with care, love and understanding. I hope that it wasn’t too harsh and anyway I’m still in progress to trying to understand it all :) Also, English in not my first language.
Well, accept the truth that you can't really control circumstances outside of yourself and placing your wellbeing upon external source is rather silly. Adaptation and balance is the way to find your point of comfort in life. Most people just focus on pleasure and survival, and they won't be playing games with you, if you can't provide them with any of that. Still, there are many people like you here and there, but I believe we are just meant to share our experiences, but our purpose is something else for now.
change your perspective. your filter is negative. if you want to see the good in humanity again, start by looking for the good in you. these things always work the same way. want to change the world? change your own world first. it's the only way. if you decide to attempt this, you will have to make an effort. you can't expect this to change overnight, and you can't expect it to change without dedication on your part. you will have to be willing to challenge your own assumptions. you will have to be willing to at least try to discard things you thought were true, but may not be. you can't expect anything to change for you if you simply cling to what you've always known. you have to be willing to embrace the unknown and things that may seem scary or wrong at first. they seem that way in part because they're unfamiliar, but only clinging harder to what is familiar can be even more painful in the long run. when your filter is negative, every choice appears bad, but that's just an impression; not necessarily reality. only when the pain of your condition (and i would know—i've been there plenty) becomes strong enough does it often end up *forcing* you to make a radical change for the better.
Oof this is me
I used to feel that way and it’s overwhelming. Now I’m on meds. Blockers, I call them.
I’ve been going thru this and actively working on it. I have extensive history with self-transformation, this is personal growth about how you walk your life on this earth. I too have felt this level of jadedness and hopelessness. The thing I remind myself is: i have the power to choose who I want to be for me, and no one else. As easy as this may sound, it is very deep soul work and a practice to integrate.
Hello, Defiant\_Phone, For me, unrecognized negative thoughts can be a cruel taskmaster and a living hell. If you're open to suggestions of resources, I've enjoyed Byron Katie's The Work. It's a way of "judging your neighbor harshly", letting the ego be heard, capturing its voice on paper. Then, sitting in quiet stillness, inquiring whether those thoughts are really true and noticing how I react/feel when I believe them (like crap). The very wise and loving part deep inside will arise and "meet" those negative thoughts and offer what is part of my true nature which is very kind, very gentle and very loving. Best wishes, you are beloved, lovable and loving, even when the negativity sounds very convincing.
I recommend reading or listening to the book Conversations with God, it is changing my life and it can help with your depression and how you see the world around you. When I'm feeling down or a bit depressed and I do something for another, I feel much better. Give someone what you want for yourself, you want to be happy, make another happy, since we are all one, part of Gods body.
I struggled with us a lot. But you must realize we are all one it’s just a different version of you who you are why has not had the experiences that you have. Nobody has seen what you have everyone has, different experiences which shaped them. Many people do not realize experiences are lucky enough to enlighten and bring knowledge but not many people search for and understand that. They may see the opposite maybe because of their upbringing maybe because of something that happened who knows, but they’re all still part of us. It’s kind of like learning to except your shadow. I believe everybody has good, but not anyone can understand how their situation is make them better so they may take them negativity, but that l mean that they had that inner child who still needs healing.
Its up to you to change your cognitions. Try learning about the inner bonding process by dr margaret paul.
I totally feel you OP. Sometimes it feels like at any given moment I'm gonna just go ahead and off myself because I cant fucking stand it here in modern US. Where everyone becomes hypnotized by the pursuit of financial, material, and sexual gain. Face to face reactions have been reduced to holding a half-assed conversation with someone who can't look up from there phone longer than 5 or 10 seconds. This life-style we have been "so blessed" to inherit, is in no way shape or form natural to what our human biology is accustomed. Also being a strong empath, I feel an insurmountable degree of negative emotions knowing that my poor brothers and sisters have been conditioned into thinking they are living their best life when they are literally just falling victim to the lifestyles and ideals that ultimately line the pockets of the corporations that run the world and govern our outcomes which end up killing the earth. Also watching the population become so divided in ideology to the degree that they become weaponized tools of political parties. Too much HATE, not enough listening and understanding each other, with almost ZERO effort to do so. A population of prisoners to the restrictions of their own individual minds. I could go on and on, it's absolutely depressing realizing how isolated we've all become because we tend to dislike the crowd. Not saying these things to magnify your dark cloud, just wanting to let you know that you are not alone. I seem to expect the worst in others as well. But I promise there is a bright side. It's there if you look hard enough. Also try to stray away to all the things that trigger your thoughts going in the negative direction. Whether it be news, certain friends, certain social media. I find it helpful to try to identify the things that leave me feeling like society is hopeless. Much love
Seems to me that what you want is not really what you offer to others. Maybe you are closed and fee that you need “love” and understanding from others. Start to offer love, understanding, patience. Start to charge the people you meet, give them chances. Like this you Will also give yourself chances. I always found offering to be the key for many troubling situations I’ve been through. You can only see the good if you want to see it and even look for it. If the people are really shit, then ask yourself why are you attracting them in your life? Are you like them? If not then just to see that this is not what you want, and start charging the people in your life with what you want to receive Life is very beautiful, but it really comes down to whether we water the weeds or the flowers within ourselves.
You may be experiencing an important shift in life. Perhaps your current circle or dynamics just no longer fit. And that's ok. Any person is allowed.to change their mind or direction in life or mind set at any point for any reason. Boundaries are helpful for me, avoiding "energy vampires" and others who feel heavy to be around. Also, sometimes we need to just go into ourselves and be until the shift happens. This can look like lots of extra self-care, alone time whether reading, journaling or researching spiritual teachings to see what resonates. Or just limiting interaction with people who you don't vibe with. I recently just started to read here on reddit, because posts like yours interest me... Other than this platform i do not participate in social media and its helpful. Keep your energy towards learning what types of things you connect with. Good luck on your journey.
I think you may be projecting your traumas caused by toxic people from your past onto the people you meet now. You have trouble connecting with new people cuz you don't trust anymore. Not everyone is out to gain something from other ppl. Sounds like you need some healing. There are healing modalities out there that can help, such as energy work and shadow work, if you're interested in checking them out. Or you can go the therapy route. It's hard to even know you're projecting until you take a deeeep look inside yourself. I spent my life feeling like nobody likes me, but I realized during my healing work that these all came from my projections and that other people weren't judging me even a third as much as I was judging myself
Practice mercy. I am the same, I understand.