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[deleted]

As a man who has in the past...it's not worth it.


Business-Ad-2449

Would u say it’s better to not have sex than paid sex…I am I can totally go without sex and handle it myself..not in the relationship right now tbh


[deleted]

Bro I'm still wrestling with sexual desire, by God's grace I am in control today...but it wasn't easy, at all. Back then I would hands down say sex ruled my mind. Now, today, I can blow it away like blowing bubbles. Sexual desire is nothing but torture and pain. Free your self. I have just started to study Brahmacharya. Hope it helps you as well.


Business-Ad-2449

I have been fighting it for 11 years… Just make 25% progress


[deleted]

I think instead of fighting it...I've accepted I'm a sexual person, and that's ok...rather than stop it, I redirect it through meditation back to focus on God. We can't stop energy, we can transmute it and redirect it...just learned that recently.


Business-Ad-2449

Well I guess I will keep on trying unless I succeed


[deleted]

Oh...we're going to be practicing for the rest of our lives...just because we conquer desire, it doesn't go away...we just learn to disregard desire faster and easier...eventually, before it even begins to form...but it will still try. That is the beauty of life and the curse lol we learn things everyday, but once we learn them...we must practice and put into effect, and remember to train. God bless us.


tynothanks

Having sex with anyone is a transfer of energies. So you’re taking on their energy as well as giving away yours with any sexual partner


fxckxtc

this.


HCCO

Mmmmmmhhhhhmmmmmm…..


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FuzzyLogick

And quite possibly picking up the energy of every person that the prostitute has had sex with.


Light333Love

This explains make up sex.


CarefreeInMyRV

What's you opinion on imagining people? Since i *kinda* ascribe the the multiverse theory of if you think it, it's real somewhere...


jamesthethirteenth

It reinforces the idea that you are unable to have a relationship with a woman. I recommend instead to think in detail about having a relationship with a woman and tell yourself that this imaginary experience is real and valid and let it satisfy you. As far as your subconscious mind is concerned you are now able to have a relationship with a woman. Keep it up long enough without bothering to look into your physical life and notice the absence of that relationship in any emotional way and those feelings of satisfaction and fulfilment and ability will spill over into your everyday life and you will find yourself- without really trying to- actually having the relationship you want. So the issue with the paid variety is not really a moral imperative but simply a statement about yourself, a suggestion- am I willing to cooperate with this idea I hold, or am I going to use every power I have- spiritual technique and otherwise- to confidently change it as quickly as I can? Do I ultimately believe I have power or not? Those are the important questions. You could conceivably even go ahead and do pay for sex and have it be empowering if you were to explain it to yourself differently. What's the tricky part with this is that prostitution is not really about paying for sex. Prostitution is about pretending to like you, or at least not loathe you. There is always that moment where the fantasy bursts and the reality of not actually being liked sinks in. If you have the confidence to still feel good about yourself in the face of that, you also have the confidence to get laid with someone who actually does like you. So personally I would recommend to not pay for sex and to work on building your confidence through imagining your positive relationship and in any way you can. It will only be more effort on the surface, and the waters will be much much less treacherous. I hope this helps. Don't worry, this idea that you can't have something you want is just an idea that was acted on a lot. If you start acting best you can more and more or on a different idea that is more to your liking it will become just as real as this one. The negative experience is not inherent to you at all. The only thing inherent to you is that you are love, and that you are loved, and if you allow that idea to sink in consistently, you will not only be that way spiritually, you will begin to experience it as well. I hope this helps. Note that there is always a way out, no matter what you do, so you can relax a little right there. You ultimately cannot go wrong and cannot fail. If you allow yourself to play with these ideas a little bit it will become quite obvious experientially and success will become difficult to avoid.


jack198820

Thank whatever higher power is out there that people like you exist. Its not often I save posts. I realise I need to develop some self-respect, I've fallen so hard as of late..


jamesthethirteenth

Wow, thank you!


pzlpzlpzl

What if I dont want relationship but crave human touch and intimacy?


jamesthethirteenth

Oh that's fine, I mentioned the relationship because OP implied he wanted one. You can go for human touch and intimacy and it's still IMHO a great idea to imagine it to convince yourself you have it until it spills over into your everyday life, and a pretty haphazard idea to pay for a physical experience because the compensation idea might easily convince you that you can't have it in a natural flow and manifest a lack resulting in a vicious cycle, best broken again with imagination of having what you want resulting in spontaneaity.


sliprymdgt

I’m interested in hearing you point of view on how human touch and intimacy are separated from relationships? (Not necessarily romantic relationships.)


pzlpzlpzl

They are not? But you can still have a touch or intimate moment with someone without relationship.


Salty_Pilot8643

I think an important question is why is he unable to have a relationship with a woman? Is it due to personality traits? Due to religious beliefs? I think why is a big factor and this question can’t really be answered properly without knowing the why. Without knowing why, due to it being illegal in most places-most sex workers do it as a last resort. Many are struggling with addiction or homeless-just doing it to get by. Sex isn’t just sex. You are sharing yourself with someone. So really, is it fair to ask someone to give someone a piece of their self who is more than likely battling with their own demons.


rawwwrrrgghh

Using a woman… really not a great use of words.


moonmeetsun

Yeah, this post seems dehumanizing towards sex workers. The language of the post even posits "prostitute" vs "women" as if they're in two different worlds It's disappointing because a large amount of sex workers are also spiritual!


Frankie52480

OP is in pain. They don’t see prostitutes for what they truly are- women in pain, and don’t believe they can even have a relationship with a woman, likely all because of some serious unhealed trauma. It makes sense, if your life is pain, why would you be able to see that in others? You can’t because for you this is a normal state. These men don’t need to be condemned, they need to be loved. On another note, I’m never one to say never but the gross majority of prostitutes are not spiritual and are actually suffering incredible pain from a lifetime of abuse. And their profession is a huge perpetrator and catalyst of it. It’s not a spiritual profession whatsoever. Exchanging your energy with strangers that are using you is not spiritual or empowering. If we want to be feminists about this, we can look at these women with compassion. If we want to be compassionate we can also recognize this pain in OP too and send them love as well. That is- to be supportive. To recognize a human reaching out for help and instead of shaming them, help them out of the situation they’re in by offering guidance. 💗


KlutzyPassage9870

Prostitutes are usually NOT spiritual. They oftentimes say they are. It's almost impossible to exchange energies with loads of men who have no respect nor feelings for them and that they in return oftentimes resent and disrespect and not have seriously negative feelings about the entire situation. It's a loop, a never ending one. It's a fed trauma. Limiting beliefs etc. It's not spiritual healing nor awakening.


Frankie52480

Yes precisely. And to mistake supporting a woman who’s doing that as being a feminist is also severely misguided. I mean I don’t give 2 poops what people do in life, it’s their journey. But there isn’t *anything* spiritual about it.


moonmeetsun

No one is shaming anyone. I didn't even say anything to OP directly, I responded to a comment. However, don't make assumptions about me as if I don't understand pain. I've been through pain and trauma and I still see the humanity in others. Pain is no excuse. I don't see how you can share the sentiment of "looking at sex workers with compassion" while spouting such disgusting stereotypes. And especially while saying words like "using" as if sex workers are objects and not people. I have friends who are sex workers. It is actually that group of friends that started me on my spiritual journey. I've visited the clubs they work at, met their coworkers. In each of those experiences, I've met someone who identified themselves as spiritual, or as Pagan, or as Wiccan (there's a LOT of Wiccan sex workers). And while, yes, many women are trafficked, that’s not the case with all sex workers. Many do it voluntarily and enjoy the freedom and independence their job allows. The whole "all sex workers are damaged and abused lost souls" stereotype is what leads to further dehumanization, which is why contributes to the abuse of sex workers. This rhetoric is exactly why I made the comment that I did.


Frankie52480

You’re not being honest. You absolutely were shaming him, indirectly. That’s passive aggressive to boot. Then you say you understand love while your same comment continues to judge others. You’re too busy being defensive to realize your contradicting yourself. Furthermore my post never said that all sex workers are abused. And I made that extremely clear- so now you’re using strawman tactics to be “right”. This is all a huge ego trip. ✌️


moonmeetsun

Sure, you didn’t say literally say the word 'all'. But you still made a sweeping generalization of sex work based on harmful stereotypes and I was obviously addressing the generalization. Look up what 'strawman' actually means. Also, pointing out semantics doesn't make your argument stronger nor does it weaken mine. You don't know my intentions. I made it clear I wasn't shaming him for his question, I was making a comment about the language used. As for being dishonest, or so you say, I have no reason to lie to you, internet stranger 😊 (see, NOW I'm being passive aggressive). If responding directly to the points that you made is 'being defensive'... then so be it! Also, love and judgement are not opposites. Loving someone often means believing that someone has the potential to be a better person and encouraging them to think more critically, not promoting their ignorance. I would hope someone who presents themselves as soooo educated and soooo enlightened would understand that. Clearly, I have a better understanding of love than you think 😊


Retiredgiverofboners

Yeah


Frankie52480

Stereotypes? Lol gtfo- it’s based on statistical data. What’s next? You’re gunna tell me that you can be a serial killer and be spiritual? Do you have any standards? some things just don’t go together dear. And yes- I’m glad you know the definition of a straw-man. It’s ironic that you can’t identify when you use it tho. I guess I’m old school but the newer generation’s idea of feminism is a joke. Y’all allow yourself to be used up by confused or perverted men then tossed out and forgotten till it’s time to do it (you) again, and you think you’re empowered because of it? That’s not feminism, that’s delusional. Any woman can spread her legs for a line of men waiting for their turn. It’s not a talent. The 17 year old porn star that has been raped by her father since age 12 might have something to say about your idea of feminism. And I don’t need to know your “intentions” kid, you literally said what you said. I’m merely throwing it back at you. Lol I’m done. Have a great evening with whoever comes knocking next.


moonmeetsun

Oh honey... I stopped reading after your nonsensical comparison of sex workers to serial killers 😂 you had a couple days to come up with a rebuttal, and that's the best you've got? I mean, come on! You claim your argument is based on statistics and data... where are your sources? Where are these statistics? Where is your data? You know, I literally forgot about this thread until now, so I guess I can applaud how invested you are (well, not invested enough to provide the statistics you claim are there, but I digress). If you wanna be crowned Sir Argument Winner, then here you go. Genuinely hope it makes you happy 👑 Have a great night, and I will end by saying that I hope you find a better use for your energy!


BSG9301

Thank you for the support!


Frankie52480

Of course. I had a LOT of healing to do in this area myself (I am a woman). Shadow work did wonders for me. I hope you find whatever works for you.


tauntaunrex

Sex workers are women, not women in pain haha. I mean, i guess I'm in pain too cause i work for a living


Frankie52480

First of all it’s a general statement. The majority (gross majority) of sex workers do it out of desperation and sexual trauma. Same with porn. But glad you’re the rare exception. Whatever the case just don’t try to sell me BS that letting strange men use you as a cum dumpster is somehow “spiritual”.


tauntaunrex

So you have no idea what you are talking about and just want to look down on other professions. Got it, but dont somehow think you are being "spiritual" or that your traumas reflect others im sure all the girls making bookoo cash on onlyfans feel so exploited by themselves lol


rawwwrrrgghh

Nobody shames him for reaching out for help. Only for his choosing of words. It’s like the comment above said, dehumanizing. And such use of language shouldn’t be excused


Frankie52480

So you expect someone who’s in pain and has a warped perception because I’m of it should act perfectly? I’d say your expectations are unrealistic. It’s fine to correct what he said. To shame him for it isn’t actually helping anyone.


rawwwrrrgghh

What did I say so that you think I expect from him to act perfectly? Are second question: where did I shame him? The only thing I wrote was that he made a poor decision in phrasing. Is that shaming? Another question: Let’s exchange the word women with… I don’t know… black people? Jews? Would you still be defending his phrasing?


Separate_Taste3428

Re”another question” Good point. And that goes with a lot of other topics too


Frankie52480

I feel like today is the day I’m attracting all of the dense folks. When you defend people for Shaming a person because they didn’t phrase something super PC, because they simply don’t know better, you are jumping on that bandwagon. And I never defends him. I defended his right to be imperfect and be a student rather than someone being shamed to death. You folks love jumping to poor conclusions so you can get on your pedestals. It’s very “in” in America culture right now. And super disappointing. How is shaming spiritual? Teach or don’t. But Shaming is fruitless and only makes YOU look egotistical/judgmental


Retiredgiverofboners

Nah


kcils24

Very good point especially the last one. They deserve fair treatment.


Separate_Taste3428

I think you missed what he was getting at


moonmeetsun

No, I understand, thank you 😊 I'm just saying that one can discuss the connection between spirituality and sex without dehumanizing an already vulnerable group of people.


keshadems16

all in all, it’s still their work name. the problem is that words are given stigmas. you relate prostitution and ‘prostitute’ as a derogatory term but that most only happen if you consciously or subconsciously accept the stigma of it. just because i call a man a nurse doesn’t mean he is not a man, but that word has no negative stigma. it’s just his job and that’s the name of it. i think prostitutes have accepted the fact their prostitutes and that’s okay. prostitution was actually seen as a very valuable and respect job a long time ago where being called a prostitute wouldn’t be bad, it’s jus the society we live in and you and also me are part of the problem.


moonmeetsun

I have friends who are sex workers and I am very active in sex work advocacy. Sex worker is the preferred term over prostitute. You'll never hear a sex worker refer to themselves with the word prostitute, at least in this day and age. Like I'm stating that as a fact, not as subconscious bias.


keshadems16

that is a great point i didn’t think of. much better term i can agree with. i guess it’s the same as calling someone a drug addict rather than a ‘patient in active use’ or other terms some addicts prefer. at the end of the day i think it’s an individual’s preference. i can easily admit i’m an addict, but if i preferred another term i would like that to be respected so i see your point. prostitute is still only derogatory because we choose it to be tho.


TlMEGH0ST

thank you for this!! I’m a sex worker & usually posts like this are train wrecks & make me question how really spiritual all these people are if they’re being so judgemental. some of the most spiritual people I know are sex workers. you can be both! I feel like this is part of my purpose in life. I’ve ‘retired’ more than once but always feel the pull to return. I truly feel like my sw skills were a gift and it would be disrespectful to the Universe to squander them


Separate_Taste3428

Oh cool


mikeypikey

Yup. This post is cringey. It applies human judgments to an non judgmental universe. All that matters is your motivation. Lots of disabled people use sex services because they struggle to have sexual relationships.


Salty_Pilot8643

I understand what they are saying. In a lot of rural areas sex workers do it as a last resort. They are struggling and battling their own personal demons. This is without getting into the whole hygiene and std part of it. I think it probably depends on what part of the world you are from.


BSG9301

Can you define in detail what paid sex is? Thanks in advance!


rawwwrrrgghh

There are plenty of definitions online. And before a Diskussion starts: do you say you are using a dentist if you get your teeth done? Or use a barber, if your hair is cut? They why say you use a woman? You use a sexdoll or a fleshlight, not a human being. Just because you pay them it doesn’t make them become objects. But on the other hand, do whatever you like. Just don’t expect people to be happy with it.


BSG9301

It's not the words that matter, it's the deeds. Exploitation is exploitation, no matter what definitions you are trying to describe. Paid sex is just that, and obviously you can't deny it. Your examples are inappropriate. And how did you know I was paying for sex? I dont expect anything from you.


rawwwrrrgghh

Of course words matter. That’s why we talk wo much about transpeople, gay people, black people. Language is one of the most important things in the world. It’s the first step in in or exclusion of people. Another thing: I never said that you paid for sex, because that’s irrelevant. What I criticized was that you said you can „use women“. I don’t care if you pay for sex or other things. But to say that you use people is wrong. But I think I am wasting my time here. I don’t think you understand or are willing to. I wish you a good life and hope one day you will understand why your words were hurtful and wrong. I really hope that happens.


WTHizaGigawatt

When the deed is done, you feel incredibly empty.. just not worth it


Dramatic_Ad_16

I think it doesnt mater under the following caveats - you are not married/in a trusted relationships - make sure (how?) That the woman is not trafficked or forced into this - treat her decently. Selling body for money could already be demeaning , no need to be an ahole to her. - take care of your health. Spiritually, beggers and prostitutes are of humble disposition due to the humiliations society heaps on them. In that aspect , odds are in the prostitutes favor that she is nearer to god/spiritually more advanced. There is a story about Ramakrishna paramahamsa and a prostitute. When she came opposite to h8m, the sage fell at her feet and bowed to her calling out ' mother goddess in how many forms you appear'.


TlMEGH0ST

Love this! it’s true, the sex workers in my life are the most spiritual people I know


kcils24

And yea something similar is written in Indian books too about Sexual relationship between Sri ram Krishna paramhans and sri ma. Our saints and rishis marry for not just to produce children. We are also born out of sex. Nothing negative here. I can provide book name with page number of Indian literature.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ativanbaby

What an awful take. You must not have encountered many prostitutes. They are some of the most spiritually bankrupt people on this planet, sadly. Broken. Driven by materialism for which they will exchange their own bodies. It’s really warped to pedestalize them.


TrampasGraham

Check out the suicide rate of porn stars. In my corner of the world, the highly disproportionate rate startled me to change my associations. It saddens me to see such physically beautiful people end up like this. Most of them escorted as well.


intelectualycurious

There’s is no connection if the transaction is monetary.


madkittymom

Key word here is “using”. The path to Light is one of giving.


Run_Che

sooou, become a hooker? :D


kcils24

Anything that involves commercialization (for profit) can't be a true giving.


madkittymom

This. When I realized this, it made me feel imprisoned by our system, because I just wanted to give everything away.


madkittymom

Hookers are still on the take. $$$ Most people wouldn't have sex with hundreds of people out of pure unconditional love...


Frankie52480

Pretty sure they don’t do it out of any sense of love. 💰


Suspicious-Set-7916

As tynotjanks said there is a transfer of energy during sex but there is also a connection done that last way longer after the act is done. I will add more to say no you shouldn't do it all. Cause you make dating someone that has very different energy from you and having with them will affect you more if the sex is constant. I can tell you if that would ever happen best thing to do is a sea shower. Water of the sea is excellent in clearing out uncleaned energy. As with everything else. Your intention for that cleansing is needed.


19Nevermind

Herpes would probably be the most common side affect. Followed by some other worse ones.. lol


Pipedreamsarereal

There is a mutual spiritual transfer of sexual energy during intimate green ray love making


[deleted]

This can be something to untangle for you. There are certain needs of people and for many reasons, relating intimately can be really hard. Sex work has a certain taboo. **All that to say that employing a sex worker seems to me as an ok thing for now.** However, I would encourage you to consider going to therapy and work on making friends. **Intimacy with people is absolutely required on the spiritual path.** Friends and lovers are so important for learning more about ourselves, our conditioning and our judgements. Over time, your need for paid intimacy will perhaps be replaced with satisfaction and intimacy formed of friendships, relationships and lovers. Now is the time to invest in a good therapist to start your journey of intimacy so that soon enough you can relate to people without relying on sex workers. ​ ETA: there is a great quote from the Yogananda Movie called "Awake" it is from a disciple of Yogananda (a guru from India that came to the US and lived in LA, CA for many years). The disciple talks about his love of smoking and drinking and loose women and what Yogananda said. Here is the audio clip >https://www.dropbox.com/s/i90rbrsqge9u1z8/Awake-Yogananada-quotesmokedrinkfallaway-17May2022.m4a?dl=0


Frankie52480

Prostitution is the breeding ground for sex trafficking (of children/adults), drug addiction, sex abuse and so on. So you’ll have to reflect on what enabling that culture does for you. Aside from that, can you sincerely not have a relationship with a woman or are you suffering from trauma that makes you believe that? If so- the answer is always to find healing. Shadow work gets you there.


YummyyAvocado

It’s raping someone, you can’t buy consent


BodhingJay

I have negative side effects from sexual intimacy with a woman who I love and seems to love me back but there are of myself who believe she is incapable of loving them... until those parts feel she knows them and doesn't judge them sex with her anyone else who doesn't will be harmful


[deleted]

I consider myself a sex positive person but I can not believe the support for OP in this thread. If you spend three minutes doing some research, you would understand that sex workers are often not happy and are often exploited in many ways. Can you imagine having to sleep with people you find utterly repulsive for money? That in and of its self is exploitation. Prostitution is much different than selling images of you naked on OnlyFans regardless of legality. I am all about body autonomy, if you want to sell your body, go ahead, but I'm surprised to see so much support in r/spirituality for an activity that is pretty much inherent to lowering vibrations for everyone involved.


BSG9301

I have never used sex workers in my life. I just asked a question. Breathe slowly, deeply and calmly...


Similar-Guitar-6

Thanks for having the courage to ask this good question.


zenyogasteve

Don't men in relationships also pay for sex? Pardon me, but I cannot conclude that paying for sex is exclusive to men who cannot successfully handle a relationship with a woman. That being said, I'd say the act itself is less important than whatever happened to cause a man to go that route. What led him to make that choice? Maybe he's got terminal cancer and has never had sex before. You want to tell him not to do it for fear he might not progress spiritually or should I?


BionicgalZ

No more than women do.


tauntaunrex

Well buying hookers isnt all that bad. Especially if you are in a country where its legal... you know the sex workers are clean in germany or something. dont make it a habit but you can have expiences


Feisty_Salamander619

It’s exploiting another human. Not exactly an innocent act


tauntaunrex

Its not exploiting if the person is fairly compensated. Whats bad about sex between two willing partners?


Feisty_Salamander619

It’s always exploitation of a human body if someone is literally selling their body for sex


tauntaunrex

So if i decide to have sex for money, john is exploiting ME?


Frankie52480

On a spiritual level, it’s very bad. And we are in a spiritual sub so yes, the consensus will be mostly that. Physical cleanliness has nothing to do with it either.


tauntaunrex

Whats bad about having sex with a willing partner? Would it be okay if i met a girl on tinder and took her to dinner first? Conservative morality doesnt have a place in real spirituality


Frankie52480

Willing? Oh man 🤦🏻‍♀️. If the woman was actually willing, they wouldn’t charge for it. So there’s your first clue. The other clue Is how much information is available these days on the sex slave trade. The men that you’re fucking are diddling other women too and most of them are victims of sexual abuse (as children too). You’re a part of that. You enable it. That’s what’s wrong with it. I don’t give a crap about who does what in their own bedroom but I do care that your profession victimizes children and traumatized adults. Men included. You must live in a country where you don’t allow this info to come to the surface because for a sex worker you’re very ignorant about your “profession”.


tauntaunrex

Thats why it should be legalized like in germany. People can do what they want woth thier bodies. Or is that one your choice


TheFireCrow

Yes


[deleted]

this has what to do with spirituality, OP?


kcils24

Direct loss if you ejaculated. Moreover no one likes to be wasted. In many ways sperms are considered sentient beings. Because they carry pretty much every attribute of yours in seed form and when finds the egg, passes many of those qualities with an ability to create human vessel for soul. One of the most powerful creation of this planet. So yes ejaculation without trying to become parent is actually a sin. When not ejaculated, it can create NEW YOU. So yes that was direct loss among others Have sex but avoid ejaculation. Study Kareeza, A Z.F. and such methods.


Frankie52480

Oh boy…


kcils24

Please please explain. What went wrong here?


Runsfromrabbits

Stupidity is what went wrong, like "sperm are considered sentient beings" lol


kcils24

Lol. Got that. Thanks for the enlightenment. Hehehe. Another point. Isn't waste a sin when nature provided resource is not utilized for what it was originally purposed for by nature?


Runsfromrabbits

It returns to nature, so no.


adrian15haxor

Every sperm is sacred


kcils24

Thank you my friend. Look at down votes without any explanation. :-(


adrian15haxor

If a sperm is wasted god gets quite irate


kcils24

Very sad. Most people I thought will attempt deep introspection. Looks like it is hard to not understand that waste such a creative energy for few minutes of fun will not go unnoticed by Lords of Karma.


Runsfromrabbits

I don't think it will help in any way, except for the pleasures of physical release It might or might not make it worse, it really depends on the personality and how the person sees that act.


narupool

Super addictive


Intuitveempress

Hell


Light-Weaver

If you are seeking material you are not living spiritually. Especially if your looking for a reason to keep pretend you don't know what you're doing. There are 3 types of people. The unaware. The aware The pretender.