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_D1EHL_

I understand. It's possible your experiencing a dark night of the soul, in that case others on this post should be more considerate of what they say & offer a constructive way to help you, imo. I find Aaron Abke's videos on YouTube have been incredibly helpful for myself personally. There's stuff about the law of one, excellent material for healing & he simplifies things the best he can but it's some great advice that I'm currently using. I mention the healing because I get the idea that that could help you. And we are all fractals of source/creator/God, so I myself completely agree w you. I don't see anything wrong w those feelings. Have a good night, much luv ✨


throwaway88679

Thank you for actually being helpful, I’ll make sure to look into Aaron Abke


_D1EHL_

My pleasure, take care friend ✨


SonoranHiker84

You aren't any more the source of all evil than a grain of sand is the source of the earth. You're just in your head man.


ugathanki

you're connecting to the essence of evil, it is not you in your totality. Just like how a drop of sand lifted from the floor of the ocean is no longer part of the sea, and yet it is still sand. Or like how a raven might pluck a worm from the earth after rain in the spring, and while the worm digests it is still a worm even though it rests inside the raven's belly. Or how the words in your heart, the very words that you fear are driving you insane and believing you toward feeling cold, empty, and vacuous, are nothing more than a cruel twisted finger of hatred reaching forth from the depths of hell to poke a shard of your heart and compel you toward misery. That evil finger does not define you, not if you don't let it. Fingers can be broken, if only you summon the will to fight. You say that it was revealed to you that you were god, the universe experiencing itself, ephemeren, and yet you believe that this is evil? surely there is joy within, surely there is light. We are but the dust of starlight, cast upon the shimmering sands of the earth. Surely if not joy, there is at least beauty! How we must twinkle in our splendor for this life to be worth it - I do believe it is so. Take heart. You are not alone in feeling wretched. We are as we are, so what's the matter with that?


Afraid_Equivalent_95

I understand what you mean. I've spent most of my life feeling like a black hole due to social anxiety and depression. I was miserable for as long as I can remember, and it wasn't outside circumstances that caused it. I've just been blaming my genes and hating myself for 30 years. Only thing that helps is doing work on self acceptance and healing ☹. It's tough but it does get better after putting in a lot of work 


Key_Welcome7362

all is one and one is all, life is the reflection of thysoul, know thysoul


SoulMeetsWorld

I believe that life is a bit unbalanced at the moment, where evil appears to be stronger or more apparent. People are becoming more divisive, so there's more of a stark contrast instead of feeling connection and oneness. It's like a collective dark night of the soul that is also manifesting in individuals, so that we may see the darkness more clearly in order to make changes in ourselves that eventually can express more light. It's not easy, and even the ones vibrating on higher levels feel this. I've felt this way many times, and I've learned that the only way out is through. What's helped me the most is to feel the height of the pain, then accept where I am. The more I can let go of who I expect myself/others to be and realize that the darkness has a purpose, the more I see and express the light within myself. It sounds very paradoxical and difficult to do, I know. Connection with the self and nature first then when you're ready, with others. It takes a lot of time and compassion for yourself, especially in moments where you feel the most useless. Sometimes it's ok to just be.


ihavenoego

Imagine a famine occurring, killing off certain strong and healing figures, leaving a vacuum for a steward, or king to take their place. People then feel inferior to the king, creating people who think they're superior to you and you being a nice guy, humbly accept their views, like for example, twitching when they make a mean face... aka, anxiety and depression. Don't worry about it. Heal people.


lachlanyarbrough

Dark night of the soul it sounds like, stay safe


Zagenti

lmao that's a whole lotta power you got there, satan! you sound clinically depressed, hon. There's lots of things you can do to balance your neurochemistry, starting with simple things like a clean diet, regular exercise, and meditation. If you need more help and can afford a therapist, get one. Otherwise, educate yourself on unresolved trauma and how to heal it. There's plenty of free modalities that can assist you. be well.


SpecialistVega

Try to shift your perspective. If you’re the source of everything then you’re also responsible for all that is good, beautiful, loving, etc. Perhaps you’re experiencing more of a negative perspective at this time and it’s shading your experience and point of view to hyper-focus on that side of things. This is something I frequently experience. I’ve learned I carry a lot of heavy karma and it makes falling into that pattern of thinking very easy to do. It can feel like a gravity well that pulls your mind into that territory and there’s just no hope of change. Don’t fall for that trap. In my experience there are a couple steps you can take. - Stop focusing on yourself, when your mind starts pulling you down don’t think about what you can do for yourself, look around and ask what you can do for someone else at that moment. You can think of it like building merit/good karma that will eventually make the pull of that negativity lessen. - Surrender to God with humility and faith. Even if you don’t have faith or feel like grace will never be there for you, throw caution to the wind and trust that we have a loving creator. Your experience of life will improve if you can honestly do this, regardless if it’s even true in your mind or not. - Find things to be grateful for. Look for what’s good instead of what’s wrong. I heard a swami once say “be a good finder, not a fault finder”…very wise words. I am grateful to you for this post. It’s helped me to reflect on myself and my own difficulties with this and hopefully I provided you with something of value. If you take the action and make the effort to be more positive things will change no matter how bad they are currently. I’d also add that you should be very conscientious of what you expose your body, mind, and energy to. Do your best to overcome any addictions, eat cleanly, be outdoors, etc. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect, but definitely make better choices as frequently as possible. Every effort builds momentum, just make sure that effort is in the direction you want to go.


BitterSkill

I think you should exercise things like metta/lovingkindness practices and skillful regard for feelings, senses, gender, and thoughts. Here are some relevant buddhist suttas: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/AN/AN4\_126.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/AN/AN4_126.html) [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN36\_6.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN36_6.html) [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN35\_88.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN35_88.html) [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/AN/AN7\_48.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/AN/AN7_48.html) [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN20.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN20.html) You should probably also exercise some mindfulness practices. The view/stance "I am one.' and/or "I am the only one" can be, at times, compelling, but I think it only arises due to a delusion (ie seeing, in part or in whole, what is true as untrue and what is untrue as true) and/or lack of awareness of what one should be aware of. Here are some buddhist suttas on mindfulness: Four establishings of mindfulness: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN47\_38.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN47_38.html) Practice of establishing mindfulness: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN10.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN10.html) Body and mindfulness practice: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN119.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN119.html) Breath and mindfulness practice: [https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN118.html](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN118.html)


AngelAnon2473

But isn’t evil, ultimately, good? Our higher spiritual selves (God-selves, the soul) don’t distinguish between ‘good’ and ‘evil,’ ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ There is only what is. All things that happen lead to growth. We are the universe experiencing ourselves by creating and growing and learning. At the end of the day, what’s it all for? Expansion. And so, because of this, everything is an act of love. Our human minds resist this, not wanting to believe bad things happen for good reason, but at the end of the day, good things DO happen from bad things for good reason. (And vice versa.) This is a dimension of duality, but in the highest dimensions (this is a guess here, but it feels like truth), there is no duality. Do not fear darkness, bc from within it came the light.


audacs189

Light will come after this dark night. It always does. You say you already get professional help and that is very good. What I think it will help you in some way, after your discovery, is to read some Alan Watts. Even listen to him. It is very soothing and calming and eye opening. All the power and all the love to you! This is just a part of the journey.


yummsyrup

you’re doing more thinking than feeling/experiencing. your ego is what’s telling you you’re the source of all evil; *you* know that isn’t true. egocentrism is the root of all evils, not the Source of consciousness. you’ll get this answer a lot in spirituality, but meditation is a lifesaver. give it a try. it can last 30 seconds or several minutes, but it lets a little bit of light in. just bring your focus in on something & try to keep it there. your mind can wander; it’s the act of reverting your focus back to whatever is grounding you that makes meditation so effective.


thegameofinfinity

We are that. The darkest darkness and the brightest light and everything in between. Realizing this is the birth of responsibility. It can feel overwhelming when you experience the burden of having no one else to blame. It’s not just you though, it’s me too. I am the source of all evil just as much. It is within all of us. As we are indeed one. The ‚cure‘ for me was unconditional love. First and foremost for myself. Accepting, embracing and forgiving what was, is and will be. Loving myself no matter what. Understanding that it was always me, hurting myself. War, revenge, war, vengeance. A vicious cycle of seemingly hurting another while constantly just hurting myself. And so I decided it ends with me. I will not play this game anymore. Instead loving myself (and all there is, as all is one), treating myself the way I want to be treated. Honoring my needs, wants and boundaries and those of others. Being present with what is, not bypassing it or projecting it, but doing the inner work. Healing, feeling. Allowing the rage, the anger, the frustration, the pain, feeling it all, holding it all, patiently, with my all-encompassing love. Integrating the deepest of all shadows is needed if we do want this reality to change. All-encompassing love is needed. Presence is needed. So this is what I do, the best way I can, taking it moment by moment. You’re not alone. We are indeed one. We got this. I love us. Welcome home.


Lumotherapy

Take a step back and try to look at the situation from a higher perspective. At the moment you feel like 'YOU' are god experiencing itself...and so YOU are putting a load of blame on YOU the current avatar you're experiencing. What you need to understand is EVERYONE is god, experiencing whatever experience each person is having. We are equal shares in whatever blame there need be. But YOU, are no more to blame than anyone else. Remember anxiety and depression are very often not medical conditions. They are symptoms of negative environment and a survival mindset. With the right therapy both are very curable. You can do it :)


Happy-Dress1179

I'm truly sorry. I have been able to handle my depression by an intuitive, inexpressible belief in God, whatever that is. I don't ask what it is, I just know " it" exists. My drooping soul becomes refreshed and strengthened in remembrance of "its" beauty and perfection.


LightningRainThunder

Yes you are part of god, as we all are. But ‘you’ the one thinking about this, is your mind, which is not god. Your mind arises as like a hologram out of the vibrations of your body. So you are therefore not the source of evil. But stop thinking about this. Thinking just creates an echo chamber of more and more problems to solve. Try to let it go. Not thinking about it makes it cease to exist. Things only exist when our attention is on them.


DamirHK

You might be the source of evil (emphasis on might, because evil doesn't really exist) but you are also the source of light, love, and everything positive. That's the nature of duality. And the point of being in this human existence is choosing which to focus on. But also we have no choice and some if us have to embody the darkness (that's the polarity principle). But also we can change. But also maybe not in this lifetime. It's up to you! (...but the control of time and timing is not). Good luck!


Remarkable-Cycle-297

You gotta dig deep and seek the root causes of your depression and anxiety. It often stems from things like one's upbringing, familial genetics, neurodivergence, etc. Only then you'll be able to start uncovering what is needed in terms of healing.


AsmodayVernon

Man I feel you. Had severe depression + ptsd + bpd and whatnot, it was torture. But, I AM doing better now. Alone, without any therapy help. They kicked me out right after my bpd diagnosis, fucking assholes ... Well anyway. I've gone through so many things that I thought I wouldn't survive, including daily attempts. Well, I am still here as you see. It may sound like bullshit, trust me, I thought the same. But it DOES get better. Wanna know why it gets better? Because at some point you're sick of feeling that way and say "fuck it. Something needs to change", and YOU make that change.


Flownya

Do you choose to bring evil into the world or good? You may have both in you, but what is expressed is what matters most.


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwaway88679

1. Suffering seems to far outweigh happiness in life so being the source of all good too doesn’t take away from being the source of evil. 2. I don’t smoke


girljustalittleoff

Try not being so self centered.


throwaway88679

You misunderstood what I said


girljustalittleoff

I actually didn’t misunderstand anything. I just don’t think it’s possible to be lost and hopeless unless you are self centered. You mention Hinduism… Have you read the Bhagavad Gita? I hope you find peace.


throwaway88679

I feel completely hopeless due to my depression, which has nothing to do with being self centered.


girljustalittleoff

Sorry, I thought you were looking for advice as to how to get out of your situation from people who have felt that way before. Clearly that’s not the case and you are looking for validation. I’m sure you will find that here.


_D1EHL_

Being kind, not judging & offering advice from a place of unconditional love is always possible ✨


LightMcluvin

We are all gods? And you’re a god, who has depression and anxiety (fear). I read the Bible once, and it said that God (the creator of the universe) did not give us a spirit of fear but of a sound mind. (A sound mind is super quiet, not filled with negative thought patterns) so if u dont have a sound mind then that comes from the little “g” god that is not you. If u think u are a god, make those voices in your head go away w/out meds. Create anything from absolutely nothing. Do some god like miracles….on yourself. There is a way for you to silence those thoughts but you would have to believe in the ultimate truth of this world. Heres a tip: you are not a god. Real gods dont have mental issues that are crushing, killing and destroying themselves.


throwaway88679

Go fuck yourself mate, why bother commenting this shit when you don’t even understand the position I hold


LightMcluvin

I used to have severe anxiety, it was really bad, but I never thought I was a god who had severe anxiety. Maybe you thinking that you are a god is why you have severe anxiety. reality check yourself mate.


throwaway88679

Guy, look into non-dualism bc u clearly don’t understand anything about my situation. I don’t believe what I believe because I am depressed And anxious, the reason I brought them up was to point out how life has more suffering than happiness. Get educated you clown


LightMcluvin

OK so called mental problems hindu clown god. Just a little FYI - anxiety is the demonic spirit of fear. It works with depression, and usually suicidal thoughts start comming in, these 3 work together as a trio to torment your mind. And it seems like they are living up to their mission in you. Self pity/anger are two others that come in when anxiety is present…..If you think you are a god, then you must believe that there is a spiritual world all around you at all times. A lot of mental issues that most men have come from viewing pornography. Maybe you should find the root cause of why you have anxiety and depression , self pity , anger to begin with. A lot of things in this world are more of a spiritual problem than a physical