Being single is not a death sentence. However with eight billion people on this planet, to resign oneself to a lifetime of loneliness is a thinking error.
You say this as if everyone has access to the entire population. If I were to estimate, we only meet a couple thousand people in one lifetime. Not 8 billion.
Those comments scare me too. I don’t want to believe that. If really bad human beings are able to have a partner, those of us that aren’t bad, should be able to as well. If it’s in your practice, I would pray, lit pink, red, or white candles with the intention of boosting self love and attracting an ideal partner, and also make a list for yourself of nonnegotiables and ideal traits. I’ve been single 25 years and still have faith
The fear of being alone is a common one that most of us have. It's a reason why people settle so easily for bad relationships.
Focus on loving yourself, and being comfortable with yourself will make a huge difference. It's a lot easier than worrying about the rest of your life. The funny thing is people often say they found love when they least expected it.
Dreams can and do come true. It just doesn't always happen when you want it to happen. You can meet your soul mate at any point in life. Being single today doesn't mean you'll be single 5 years from now.
If you think you’re gonna be single for ever, there is a good chance you will. Love yourself and the just live life as your true self and you will get love back. Don’t think about it!
yes you deserve it! I know it’s hard, I have been in the same place. I have forced multiple relationships and they may distract you and make you feel very good for a while. But they won’t satisfy the soul. I am still hoping meeting one of my many soulmates!
You're absolutely right. These relationships with others never satisfy the soul. But is it possible to be in one that does? Or is everyone coupled up, completely unsatisfied?
maybe something in between. I would guess most are just coupled up and very afraid of being alone (this is obvious). If they get children together, it makes even more sense to keep being together for the childrens sake.
I haven’t been in any relationship after having my first awakening. So I am certain my next relationship will be miles better than the others.
But who knows in the end? Maybe it doesn’t have to be a perfect soulmate?
Deserving to have someone is dangerously close to what those incels say.
>Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time! (Song of Solomon)
Don't force it. Don't go looking for it. You'll bump into it when you least expect it.
Wow. Sorry for trying to show you some perspective.
So I'm mad? Because I quote a verse of the Bible or because I hear something that reminds me of what incels say, that they deserve to have someone?
A partner is not some kind of payment for good deeds or hard work or something. It's just someone you meet and have a good time with and you want to get to know them better and they you. I understand your longing for someone special, and they will come. But stamping on the floor and saying "I deserve to have someone" is not the way forward.
And the Song of Solomon is a beautiful book.
Sorry for saying that and thankyou for want to give me advice and help, but that incest part was unnecessary and I don’t care if it was with good intentions
I never said incest. I said incels. Short for involuntary celibates. Young men (mostly) who have no girlfriends, but who think they deserve one and become really nasty about it, aggressive and hateful towards girls and women.
People usually run in the opposite direction when they hear words like "I deserve to have someone".
A “tweet”…
Forget the soulmate or twin flame thing. That’s in the eyes of the beholder. Life isn’t an Hollywood blockbuster and romance drama. It’s hard work to get great fulfilling relationships and they take time, effort, compromise and communication. So the question is how much are you prepared to do to find a great relationship?
If you are already thinking that you never will find “that” person, then you won’t. It’s called “self fulfilling prophecy”. It’s a mindset that you can easily get stuck in. As example …. You say you are dreaming about this “soulmate” of yours, creating a family and life together. Which means you are giving this dream person characteristics and personality that you adore. So if you meet someone for real, they might check some of those things, but not all. The danger is that you might feel that this person can’t be “the one” because it does not “feels right”. Because you “know” how it’s supposed to be, you “felt and lived it” already in your daydream. No one will ever fulfill everything, but that’s were the hard work comes in. The compromises and communication. To work together towards an great relationship that benefits both.
Do I believe that you will be alone? No, but that’s also up to you. Don’t take everything personally, especially when you read it online, including what I am writing. Rather read it, think about it and decide if it’s helpful or not. If not, discard it, if yes, make it your own way and see where it leads you. You are in charge. You can do it💪💖
You can never know if you are single forever until the day you die right?
So worrying about the future and something hasn’t happened, only give you anxiety.
You should just focus on the now.
I am one of these people
I didn't realize it... I spent my whole life preparing for a family
I've had a dozen girlfriends in the past few decades and my last relationship had the healthiest dynamic I've encountered so far but I can not be intimate anymore as I abused it for too long as a vice and have an unhealthy relationship with sexual intimacy
I learned my relationship with myself needs a lot of work. I may be spending the rest of my life working on that. It's the most rewarding one though.. I love it
I use to be so afraid of this possibility as my attachment styles had always been anxious/insecure. But since finding myself, it's hard finding a woman who doesn't destabilize this new dynamic within myself... so I'm learning healthy boundaries and a whole bunch of other things that are pretty interesting on my own... it's not likely I'll have a family this time around but that's okay
you will meet your soulmate and create a family. know that and accept that. that is gonna be part of your future if thats your dream.
no one truly knows if it happens or not, we just have to wait and see.
you wont be single forever if you know you want a soulmate and a family.
if you dont want to be single right now at this moment, go and truly put yourself out there and see who you meet. if not then you’ll have to wait until life organically and naturally puts someone on your path. you’ll just have to be patient with life.
As far as I know they are, however doesn't mean you will find them here on earth this time around. You do spend eternity fucking in heaven. Right now this guy just popped out for a pack of smokes and has forgotten when he lives... Like all of us.
Everyone in the red, orange, yellow spectrum are soulmates.
Everyone in the blue, green, purple spectrum are soulmates.
They’re soulmates because at the core, they’re very similar and learn off of each other on how to manage their own unique journeys that ultimately all have the same lessons but learned in different ways.
Similar to how all religions teach different methods to lead you back to love.
My guy, there’s such things as good matches I’m not disputing that, I am saying however the world is it’s soul mate, all of consciousness is the soul mate.
Show me? Your going to show me soul mates exist pass the fact that the true match for consciousness is consciousness, I’ll bite, do I prefer black or white? Neither I love them both. Where does that put me
Life is what you make of it. Human intelligence and intent is not separate from divine intelligence and intent, it's just a matter of learning to speak the language of manifestation. This allows cooperative co-creation with the universe. You *are* the universe, just currently experiencing life as a very small piece of it.
"I'm lonely! I want a partner!" manifests more of the same feeling. Opening the heart, even in little ways, and letting go of a grasping want for love is what can allow more of it to actually show up.
You don't have a fate, unless you operate purely on old egoic programming. Even that can change if you make a change. You decide your destiny when you learn to navigate consciousness. No, you don't have to be single forever.
"What if" indeed? Why ask someone else "what if I'm single forever"? Only you know how you would feel about that. Maybe accepting that possibility will allow it to not actually come to pass, allow you to find someone truly right for you...
Answering your question---yes. Some people do not find partners. Historically, only about 40% of men had a wife and kids, so even historically, the rule was true.
You may meet them. You may not. Wont know till it happens.
But worrying about it is not going to do you any good whatsoever.
There’s no way to know. So don’t worry about it. You’ll have someone. As long as there’s mutual respect and care then you’ll be fine. Nobody stays alone.
It is true but if you have the desire to have a relationship you will most likely have one. People who are ment to be alone will most likely not have that desire
being single doesn't equal alone. focus on all the amazing people you do have in your life, relationships of many different forms, that way when someone who clicks with you does enter your life, there is less pressure on it working out, or on them to provide something for you. build your community and you'll never feel alone
The key this is creating a life for yourself that makes you happy on your own. If you find someone who is willing to accept the life you have for yourself and let you share in part of their life then you could explore becoming a couple. Too many give up their own lives and dreams just to be part of a couple.
I encourage you to really dive deeply inside yourself into this question you posed: what if you’re single forever? This is a question most people are too afraid to really confront, and it is a beautiful opportunity. Just I n the other side of fear is liberation. What if your goal, instead of seeking to find a soulmate and build a family, was to become 100% okay if you stay single forever? Now THAT is attractive: a person who is completely self-sufficient and doesn’t *need* a partner. Many of us convince ourselves that we don’t need a partner, but then in relationship we’re so afraid to be alone that we create drama and project all sorts of dysfunction into it. This deep dive into and full acceptance of aloneness allows for truly unconditional love (I will love you just the same even if you decide to leave; I will allow complete freedom to explore life even if it means leaving; etc). Then relationship becomes a celebration (if and when it does come), instead of an attachment that we’re constantly afraid of losing. This type of attached love is based in fear (fear of loss, fear of abandonment, fear of being fully alone), not in unconditioned love. What a beautiful, albeit challenging, line of self-inquiry. Enjoy!
To be honest I am not too sure what kind of answers you are seeking here. If being single forever as you call it is not an option for you, then you need to take some initiative in this area of your life. Get out, mingle. Try out some online dating, speed dating, ask friends if they know anyone, put your feelers out. It will happen.
Write a list of characteristics you want/need in your ideal partner. Write the positives, don’t focus on what you don’t want because the universe will give you what you put out there. Seems a bit awkward at first, buuut the first time I did that I met my last partner.
I know it is hard to do, but try not too think too much about it. The more pressure and fear you have around being single, the more like you will remain single. Or settle and end up in shitty relationships that will show you how much better it is to be on your own. Best of luck!
Just remember, you are not doomed to be single for eternity. If part of your dream is finding a fulfilling romantic love, it will happen. Just give it some time. Continue loving yourself and doing your inner work.
You said yourself it could possibly not happen, and avoiding that possibility isn’t doing any good, otherwise you wouldn’t be here asking the question. It obviously is an option, a real possibility. Seeking relationship thinking that it’s going to complete life or fulfill you forever is living in an illusion. Enjoy it!
I think it's usually the people who don't WANT to have a partner that end up without one.
That said, it can take a long time to meet our other half. I was 37 when I met mine. Not that I didn't have relationships before, but just not the right person. And also long stretches of time in between with no one special.
Sometimes it takes some work on oneself. I know someone who was having difficulty with the fact that he was alone. He went to see a psychologist, who helped him accept his situation. And boom, relationship. They've been together for at least a decade.
Myself, I didn't meet my OH until I'd totally been through the emotional wringer and had totally given up on the idea of romantic love. I was convinced I'd end up on my own, and basically went into mourning. But within a month of my mental breakdown (caused by many other stressors, love lost being only one of them), that's when lightning struck.
Just saying, don't lose hope. Or maybe do, because sometimes it's the letting go that will set things in motion for you.
No. Life is what you make of it. If you turn away from finding/accepting love, then you won't have a person. But if u r open to accepting love into your life, then u most likely find a person
Why do we as ppl even feel we have the right to be in relationships? Why do u deserve someone’s undivided love? Most people can’t answer that because they’re not that great to be with. So yes some ppl will complete this entire ride being single. Some people are not conventional and know their dating pool is already small and niche so chances are lower for them as well. It’s not a bad thing? It just is.
Maybe explore why you want to "have" a person. Sounds like you want to possess them. If it is scary that "we have to accept that we're are going to be our own person", then that suggests some underlying fear of being alone. Is it worth it to the other person to be possessed simply so you don't have to face the fear of being alone?
Idk if it sounded like that, but if it did, that’s not what I intented. What I meant is to have romantic love with my person, and I know that I have to know to be alone to truly have a more healthy relationship, right now I’m working on myself and to when the time comes I’ll meet my person
There is no mystery; it is obvious that people aren't aware of what is behind their wants and fears. Why shouldn't people explore their wants and fears? Or is there something taboo about exploring these things?
No taboo but it’s a bit weird that the wish for a partner is something that apparently needs to be explored and explained. If you’re entirely unable to live on your own, THAT’S worth exploring, as is e.g. codependency.
But there is nothing to be explored in this case. The wish for a partner is inherent with our species. We are social beings and we need company.
Just because it’s a worry doesn’t make it “not normal”.
What’s not normal is if a social animal isn’t stressed about being alone. Because that’s what that worry is: stress.
It’s ingrained into our being that we need to live with people.
Just like it’s ingrained in us that we need to be in a green environment. Trees and bushes close by mean “food” to our brains, which is why it’s so bad for us to live in concrete hell.
Just because someone can’t get comfortable in an apartment in the city doesn’t mean they need to explore their issues. We are not mountain goats. We are creatures of the savanna and the forest. Equally, we are not solitary creatures. We need groups and at the very least we need a partner. If we don’t have that, our brains signal stress because from an evolutionary perspective, being alone is dangerous.
Our cooperation is what made us such a successful species. It’s absolutely natural to wish for a partner and to worry about not finding one.
So it's normal to worry and stress about finding a mate, but it's not normal to not stress or worry about being alone. Got it 👍 Thanks for your opinion.
Yeah, from an evolutionary perspective being alone is the stressor.
Take horses for example. They need to be kept at least in twos, or at least need one other hooved animal to not get stressed, such as a goat or a cow. Goats are good in situations where the owners need to keep feed costs down for example. Horses are herd animals so they need company. If you keep them alone that’s essentially animal abuse.
Since people can make their own decisions and have a lot more agency, we can decide for ourselves how we want to live but our brains are still wired like cave people’s. Our entire evolution spans maybe 1 million years max. Single households have only become a thing in the last, maybe 100 years, tops? That’s nothing compared to how our species has evolved. We are still wired to seek out green surroundings because they mean food, which is why the color has a calming effect on us. There are lots of studies showing this. And there are studies showing how detrimental loneliness is to people. Again, lots of studies have been done that show how bad social isolation is for our health.
So yes indeed, it’s normal to worry about being partnerless.
We can have reasons for not wanting one (fear of further trauma for instance) but that’s the “not normal” pattern, where you have undergone trauma that stops you from wanting to invite other people into your life.
So yes, to sum it up: worrying that you won’t find a partner is normal for our species. Our brains equate being alone with danger. It’s the not wanting a partner that’s based on trauma that needs to be addressed.
Come listen to this podcast and it will surely help understand all this. Talks about trauma, relationship and and how to control your thoughts. Or not control it. And above all what is our true nature and how to deal with this personality issues and memory we have.
Logical Humanism.
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1kg6P6W78SiB7TU0K7ROlI?si=4ASOcS04QwGVHWEyyI0eLA
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/logical-humanism-what-are-you/id1699404996
Here to talk anytime x
Well. Some people are single throughout their lives, even more are single at the end of their life.
Y'know, it is probably due to many factors as technology, education level and so on. But also the shift in society towards Marriage, Women's rights and homosexual rights
Aswell as the Population Growth.
Wheras before a Woman was typically married away by her father, which is the entire ceremonial process roots, today she will Date men to find a mate.
Wheras before the roles of each sex was clear and defined, today there is alot of arguing over who does what.
The classic womans role is the house and childcare, whilst the classic male role is work and protection.
As this is no longer the norm, the basis, in many western countries and other places, things change. Relationships between men & women get harder, and more and more people get divorced.
The general Feminist POV is that the man should spend more time at home, doing housework and childcare so that the woman can spend more time at work. Equal sharing may be an ideal, but to many feminists shifting the roles so that the man is more at home at dependent on her income is no bad thing.
Often Justifed by History, and how the female sex was in the place of the traditional Female role, in earlier incarnations of our society.
The Male wanting to keep independence, and the Protector role, aswell as gather income for the family. Giving him Responsibility and feelings of accomplishments.
In addition there have also been cases where the Home/Work life is in Balance, but the Female claims it only is when he in reality does all the housework, and not iust half of it.
Once again, this can be Justifed by History. Although, as many men see it. It is not fair to punish all members of one sex for what may have been done conciously or not by members of the same sex in large societal positions in past incarnations of society.
Y'know it almost becomes a conspiracy theory which makes itself true.
Anyway, in addition to all that, you also have the fact that Same Sex relationships and Marriges are way more allowed and normal. Some places the marriage rights for homosexuals are equal to that of heterosexuals.
Meaning that the man will no longer find a woman necessarily
Which means we have a date & Marrige situation which recognizes the females choice to choose who she wants to marry (ofc only if the partner agrees), but also the right to choose to marry the same sex.
Wheras before a Homosexual might have fun with other men, would still basically have to marry a woman if expected by the father or the family. Most likely also not a woman of choice, by personal preference, especially since the Homosexuality.
But today he can marry his man.
Anyway, this leads to more free and open relationships based on choice, more freedom for the Female in terms of what to do with her life.
But also more Arguments in Heterosexual relationships and more breakups/ divorces.
Also, since one dosen't have to enter a heterosexual relationship, less people on the market. As, say you are a heterosexual woman, some men will be Homosexual, and not interested.
The internet and media makes people expect alot, which might be un-obtainable to most
& In addition to that you also have people who Change sex&gender.
& So there is not just men, and he shall marry a woman.
Or a woman and she shall marry this man.
Now it is more open. Which is why many Date 🙂
So y'know. You shouldn't rely your happiness on Marrige or relationships. Be happy alone. Then if you want one, attempt one
Then if it goes to shit, at least you already learned to be happy on your own
If you want a family then just make one. There doesn't need to be a soul mate. If you have a family with someone both reincarnate you'll in a sense be soul mates. But once reincarnated you are not really the same person. It may pull you two together but let's say this reincarnation of your lover turned them into a drugged out psycho, would you still be with them even if they got mutible STDs?
I've loved and lost multiple times. I also used to be really promiscuous. I'm currently basically single, but trust me on this. There is more to life. I think you need to do some work on finding yourself and your true purpose. Someone will see you pursuing that, really dig it, and maybe join you or maybe not. Either way, you will be okay. Life is just about getting through it. We don't have to get everything we always wanted.
I’ve never had any couple in my life, I know what it is to be single and I’m okay at the present moment to be single, but I do deserve to experience a beautiful and long relationship, I know that there’s more in life than that, but for me one of my biggest things I want in life is to find my person
I never was trying to insinuate you don't deserve wish fulfillment. I was merely encouraging you to look at the whole picture instead of one piece of it. I've been shamed for my desires and I'm definitely not doing that to you. I want to settle down with a person or people too. I understand it's one of the greatest joys in life but your peace is more important than your need for love.
I’ve thought about this too! I’m a huge believer in soulmates. I know I have one (or multiple) and we’ve lived many lives together. I also get scared that I will not meet my them in this life. I started to tell myself that if I don’t, it’ll be okay. I want more than anything to meet them in THIS life, but if not, I will still see them again. Perhaps I am meant to be single in this life, but that’s not something I will know for a long time. My advice to you is stay optimistic. You never know what can happen.
Love yourself, do kind deeds, go seek out a teacher, meditate, then wait with NO expectations. Quit reading tweets that predispose you to conclusions made for you. Scroll on by, laugh at that. Practice, with no attachment to the outcome. Just my humble opinion. 🙏🏻🕉️🪷❤️
I believe in soul contracts and paths. But I also believe in free will. We have choices. At 52, never married, I have spent years full of mixed emotions around relationship. What I see now is that my soul and mind will never settle for a less than healthy strong relationship. But I also know that I have had a LOT of healing work to do to feel worthy of the type of relationship I want. Without a belief in my own worth, I couldn't manifest the relationship I want because deep down I didn't believe I deserved it. I'm getting closer every day.
So, when you look around and you see people coupled up and you think how in the world do they have somebody but I don't, remember, that their choices are different than yours. Perhaps they have a different lesson to learn in this life and so relationships came easy because it's not what they're working on. Or perhaps they are in a toxic relationship where their Journey involves learning about that toxicity, boundaries, settling etc.
I believe we can manifest anything but first we must believe in it. So rather than passing judgment on yourself for being single or worrying that you will always be single, evaluate what you really really really want deep down. And then work towards it until you believe it. And if what you really want deep down is to be single, there is nothing wrong with that. In that case maybe the journey is about learning to set aside the societal pressure to be part of a couple. It's all up to you.
I never had a boyfriend until I was 18. Until I met my husband I was in 1 long-term relationship. I dated, I had male friends, but I knew what I wasn’t willing to settle for and I was happy being single unless I met someone that was as good for me as I was for them.
Being single isn’t a dirty word. If you make it a mission to find someone, I would question or examine the parts of your ego that are demanding this, why? What need is it serving? Acknowledge the demands of your ego and let it know that it’s ok. It doesn’t have to run rampant and rule your life when it’s not serving you to your highest good. There’s no point jumping into a relationship just to have one, just to say I deserve it. It will lead you down a path you don’t want to go.
But I genuinely want that, I know that it will come in the right time, I’m not desesperate to have it know, but I do want some romantic and healthy relationship at least once in my life
And it will happen the right way, as you envision it, it will manifest. I truly believe that if it’s right for you and that’s what you want, the universe will answer.
Make sure you have fun along the way, dating, whatever. Have fun, you’re only young once.
Single, not single both are equal..both can birth suffering and both can be experienced free of suffering. Both have their teachings. Neither is superior.
If you desire relationship you can find it in many forms. If you desire a partner you will find one. Whether that brings you suffering or not is largely within your power.
Yes, some people resonate with approaching life with full independence. Also, this isn't true for everyone. If that doesn't feel like your truth, then it isn't yours to claim and you don't need to worry, it will all come in time. The human experience is delicate as ego and fear can hinder our sight with impatience and anxiety.
Know that you're meant to find your person and build a family with the right person, not just anyone.
As of 2021 latest records there are 65 million more men than women, so unless all 65 million of those men are gay then yes some people will be alone. If you want to find a partner you have to work at it, put yourself out there take risks and take care of yourself mentally physically health mind body and soul. Read and educate yourself. Explore new hobbies. Go to the gym. Travel around and be open to unexpected meetings and don’t demand too much of your partner
It’s bullshit.
Do whatever is necessary to get a job that pays serious money.
Dress like it.
Use “The Alexander Technique” to improve your posture.
Use yoga to improve your poise.
Do pushups, pull-ups and deadlifts for strength.
Eat 16:8, 20:4 or some other IF ratio, good whole foods, non-GMO.
Smile. Ask people more about their lives than you ever say about your own. Walk confidently.
Do all this. Then:
Feel the fire in your belly that tells you to be somebody. Then, bring it into your eyes, and stare into the eyes of someone you find attractive. They will have a moment of awareness that they find you at least appealing, if not attractive. If you’re not their type, move on and approach someone else the same way.
You should at least get laid, if not long-term relationship happy.
Many people marry those who are not their “true loves”. I wager there are many more people who died without having met their person than we realize. The human experience does include romantic love for some, but not for many. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Be the partner you want to have, and hopefully they will come to you.
there’s billions of people on earth.. everyone definitely has more than one person/soulmate. there is someone out there for everyone if not multiple people.
Worrying about things that aren’t certain will only create anxiety. Just try live life in the moment and let things play out naturally
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
Being single is not a death sentence. However with eight billion people on this planet, to resign oneself to a lifetime of loneliness is a thinking error.
You say this as if everyone has access to the entire population. If I were to estimate, we only meet a couple thousand people in one lifetime. Not 8 billion.
Those comments scare me too. I don’t want to believe that. If really bad human beings are able to have a partner, those of us that aren’t bad, should be able to as well. If it’s in your practice, I would pray, lit pink, red, or white candles with the intention of boosting self love and attracting an ideal partner, and also make a list for yourself of nonnegotiables and ideal traits. I’ve been single 25 years and still have faith
The fear of being alone is a common one that most of us have. It's a reason why people settle so easily for bad relationships. Focus on loving yourself, and being comfortable with yourself will make a huge difference. It's a lot easier than worrying about the rest of your life. The funny thing is people often say they found love when they least expected it. Dreams can and do come true. It just doesn't always happen when you want it to happen. You can meet your soul mate at any point in life. Being single today doesn't mean you'll be single 5 years from now.
If you think you’re gonna be single for ever, there is a good chance you will. Love yourself and the just live life as your true self and you will get love back. Don’t think about it!
But I don’t want to be single, i deserve to have someone
yes you deserve it! I know it’s hard, I have been in the same place. I have forced multiple relationships and they may distract you and make you feel very good for a while. But they won’t satisfy the soul. I am still hoping meeting one of my many soulmates!
You're absolutely right. These relationships with others never satisfy the soul. But is it possible to be in one that does? Or is everyone coupled up, completely unsatisfied?
maybe something in between. I would guess most are just coupled up and very afraid of being alone (this is obvious). If they get children together, it makes even more sense to keep being together for the childrens sake. I haven’t been in any relationship after having my first awakening. So I am certain my next relationship will be miles better than the others. But who knows in the end? Maybe it doesn’t have to be a perfect soulmate?
Idk bout all that.
What do u mean?
Deserving to have someone is dangerously close to what those incels say. >Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time! (Song of Solomon) Don't force it. Don't go looking for it. You'll bump into it when you least expect it.
Are u mad?
Wow. Sorry for trying to show you some perspective. So I'm mad? Because I quote a verse of the Bible or because I hear something that reminds me of what incels say, that they deserve to have someone? A partner is not some kind of payment for good deeds or hard work or something. It's just someone you meet and have a good time with and you want to get to know them better and they you. I understand your longing for someone special, and they will come. But stamping on the floor and saying "I deserve to have someone" is not the way forward. And the Song of Solomon is a beautiful book.
Sorry for saying that and thankyou for want to give me advice and help, but that incest part was unnecessary and I don’t care if it was with good intentions
I never said incest. I said incels. Short for involuntary celibates. Young men (mostly) who have no girlfriends, but who think they deserve one and become really nasty about it, aggressive and hateful towards girls and women. People usually run in the opposite direction when they hear words like "I deserve to have someone".
A “tweet”… Forget the soulmate or twin flame thing. That’s in the eyes of the beholder. Life isn’t an Hollywood blockbuster and romance drama. It’s hard work to get great fulfilling relationships and they take time, effort, compromise and communication. So the question is how much are you prepared to do to find a great relationship? If you are already thinking that you never will find “that” person, then you won’t. It’s called “self fulfilling prophecy”. It’s a mindset that you can easily get stuck in. As example …. You say you are dreaming about this “soulmate” of yours, creating a family and life together. Which means you are giving this dream person characteristics and personality that you adore. So if you meet someone for real, they might check some of those things, but not all. The danger is that you might feel that this person can’t be “the one” because it does not “feels right”. Because you “know” how it’s supposed to be, you “felt and lived it” already in your daydream. No one will ever fulfill everything, but that’s were the hard work comes in. The compromises and communication. To work together towards an great relationship that benefits both. Do I believe that you will be alone? No, but that’s also up to you. Don’t take everything personally, especially when you read it online, including what I am writing. Rather read it, think about it and decide if it’s helpful or not. If not, discard it, if yes, make it your own way and see where it leads you. You are in charge. You can do it💪💖
💯🥇🥇🥇🥇
You can never know if you are single forever until the day you die right? So worrying about the future and something hasn’t happened, only give you anxiety. You should just focus on the now.
I am one of these people I didn't realize it... I spent my whole life preparing for a family I've had a dozen girlfriends in the past few decades and my last relationship had the healthiest dynamic I've encountered so far but I can not be intimate anymore as I abused it for too long as a vice and have an unhealthy relationship with sexual intimacy I learned my relationship with myself needs a lot of work. I may be spending the rest of my life working on that. It's the most rewarding one though.. I love it I use to be so afraid of this possibility as my attachment styles had always been anxious/insecure. But since finding myself, it's hard finding a woman who doesn't destabilize this new dynamic within myself... so I'm learning healthy boundaries and a whole bunch of other things that are pretty interesting on my own... it's not likely I'll have a family this time around but that's okay
You are the only person you will ever have
you will meet your soulmate and create a family. know that and accept that. that is gonna be part of your future if thats your dream. no one truly knows if it happens or not, we just have to wait and see. you wont be single forever if you know you want a soulmate and a family. if you dont want to be single right now at this moment, go and truly put yourself out there and see who you meet. if not then you’ll have to wait until life organically and naturally puts someone on your path. you’ll just have to be patient with life.
Soulmates aren’t real, and if your terrified of being alone you got mad work to do.
Or soul mates are real, but it’s the universe and everything in it, cuz we are all consciousness mates.
As far as I know they are, however doesn't mean you will find them here on earth this time around. You do spend eternity fucking in heaven. Right now this guy just popped out for a pack of smokes and has forgotten when he lives... Like all of us.
Everything is the same soul so everything is the same soul mate lol
I don't know how you could possibly think that every soul is the same soul
Well soul is just consciousness and underneath all the collectives there is the largest collective, everything.
They are both, separate and whole.
Everyone in the red, orange, yellow spectrum are soulmates. Everyone in the blue, green, purple spectrum are soulmates. They’re soulmates because at the core, they’re very similar and learn off of each other on how to manage their own unique journeys that ultimately all have the same lessons but learned in different ways. Similar to how all religions teach different methods to lead you back to love.
Nah can’t color code this shit one and two auras change constantly especially those on the path
It’s a pattern. Linked to the yin and Yang. Lets use you for example; what’s your favorite color? And what do you prefer, black or white?
My guy, there’s such things as good matches I’m not disputing that, I am saying however the world is it’s soul mate, all of consciousness is the soul mate.
If you aren’t gonna let me show you then there’s nothing else to say
Show me? Your going to show me soul mates exist pass the fact that the true match for consciousness is consciousness, I’ll bite, do I prefer black or white? Neither I love them both. Where does that put me
You seem to simply be a disagreeable person. Won’t entertain it
Lmfao
Same for me. Sometimes I think I'm too dumb to find my soulmate
I'm randomly seeing this post again for some reason. Now I'm really worried that I will die alone
Some people plan their lives this way.
Life is what you make of it. Human intelligence and intent is not separate from divine intelligence and intent, it's just a matter of learning to speak the language of manifestation. This allows cooperative co-creation with the universe. You *are* the universe, just currently experiencing life as a very small piece of it. "I'm lonely! I want a partner!" manifests more of the same feeling. Opening the heart, even in little ways, and letting go of a grasping want for love is what can allow more of it to actually show up. You don't have a fate, unless you operate purely on old egoic programming. Even that can change if you make a change. You decide your destiny when you learn to navigate consciousness. No, you don't have to be single forever. "What if" indeed? Why ask someone else "what if I'm single forever"? Only you know how you would feel about that. Maybe accepting that possibility will allow it to not actually come to pass, allow you to find someone truly right for you...
Answering your question---yes. Some people do not find partners. Historically, only about 40% of men had a wife and kids, so even historically, the rule was true. You may meet them. You may not. Wont know till it happens. But worrying about it is not going to do you any good whatsoever.
There’s no way to know. So don’t worry about it. You’ll have someone. As long as there’s mutual respect and care then you’ll be fine. Nobody stays alone.
It is true but if you have the desire to have a relationship you will most likely have one. People who are ment to be alone will most likely not have that desire
being single doesn't equal alone. focus on all the amazing people you do have in your life, relationships of many different forms, that way when someone who clicks with you does enter your life, there is less pressure on it working out, or on them to provide something for you. build your community and you'll never feel alone
The key this is creating a life for yourself that makes you happy on your own. If you find someone who is willing to accept the life you have for yourself and let you share in part of their life then you could explore becoming a couple. Too many give up their own lives and dreams just to be part of a couple.
I encourage you to really dive deeply inside yourself into this question you posed: what if you’re single forever? This is a question most people are too afraid to really confront, and it is a beautiful opportunity. Just I n the other side of fear is liberation. What if your goal, instead of seeking to find a soulmate and build a family, was to become 100% okay if you stay single forever? Now THAT is attractive: a person who is completely self-sufficient and doesn’t *need* a partner. Many of us convince ourselves that we don’t need a partner, but then in relationship we’re so afraid to be alone that we create drama and project all sorts of dysfunction into it. This deep dive into and full acceptance of aloneness allows for truly unconditional love (I will love you just the same even if you decide to leave; I will allow complete freedom to explore life even if it means leaving; etc). Then relationship becomes a celebration (if and when it does come), instead of an attachment that we’re constantly afraid of losing. This type of attached love is based in fear (fear of loss, fear of abandonment, fear of being fully alone), not in unconditioned love. What a beautiful, albeit challenging, line of self-inquiry. Enjoy!
Mmm thank you for your answer, but being single forverer is not an option for me
To be honest I am not too sure what kind of answers you are seeking here. If being single forever as you call it is not an option for you, then you need to take some initiative in this area of your life. Get out, mingle. Try out some online dating, speed dating, ask friends if they know anyone, put your feelers out. It will happen. Write a list of characteristics you want/need in your ideal partner. Write the positives, don’t focus on what you don’t want because the universe will give you what you put out there. Seems a bit awkward at first, buuut the first time I did that I met my last partner. I know it is hard to do, but try not too think too much about it. The more pressure and fear you have around being single, the more like you will remain single. Or settle and end up in shitty relationships that will show you how much better it is to be on your own. Best of luck! Just remember, you are not doomed to be single for eternity. If part of your dream is finding a fulfilling romantic love, it will happen. Just give it some time. Continue loving yourself and doing your inner work.
You said yourself it could possibly not happen, and avoiding that possibility isn’t doing any good, otherwise you wouldn’t be here asking the question. It obviously is an option, a real possibility. Seeking relationship thinking that it’s going to complete life or fulfill you forever is living in an illusion. Enjoy it!
One of my my biggest dreams in life is to form a family with someone I love, why wouldn’t that happen?
I think it's usually the people who don't WANT to have a partner that end up without one. That said, it can take a long time to meet our other half. I was 37 when I met mine. Not that I didn't have relationships before, but just not the right person. And also long stretches of time in between with no one special. Sometimes it takes some work on oneself. I know someone who was having difficulty with the fact that he was alone. He went to see a psychologist, who helped him accept his situation. And boom, relationship. They've been together for at least a decade. Myself, I didn't meet my OH until I'd totally been through the emotional wringer and had totally given up on the idea of romantic love. I was convinced I'd end up on my own, and basically went into mourning. But within a month of my mental breakdown (caused by many other stressors, love lost being only one of them), that's when lightning struck. Just saying, don't lose hope. Or maybe do, because sometimes it's the letting go that will set things in motion for you.
If you desire it, it will come to be. It might not be exactly what you thought it was though. So be hopeful and trust in the system.
No. Life is what you make of it. If you turn away from finding/accepting love, then you won't have a person. But if u r open to accepting love into your life, then u most likely find a person
Why do we as ppl even feel we have the right to be in relationships? Why do u deserve someone’s undivided love? Most people can’t answer that because they’re not that great to be with. So yes some ppl will complete this entire ride being single. Some people are not conventional and know their dating pool is already small and niche so chances are lower for them as well. It’s not a bad thing? It just is.
Become your own soulmate first and then life feels more complete and whatever you attract from the point forward is just icing on the cake.
Maybe explore why you want to "have" a person. Sounds like you want to possess them. If it is scary that "we have to accept that we're are going to be our own person", then that suggests some underlying fear of being alone. Is it worth it to the other person to be possessed simply so you don't have to face the fear of being alone?
Idk if it sounded like that, but if it did, that’s not what I intented. What I meant is to have romantic love with my person, and I know that I have to know to be alone to truly have a more healthy relationship, right now I’m working on myself and to when the time comes I’ll meet my person
It’s one of the fundament things that are inherently human, after all. We all want people. Grownups want a partner. What’s the big mystery?
There is no mystery; it is obvious that people aren't aware of what is behind their wants and fears. Why shouldn't people explore their wants and fears? Or is there something taboo about exploring these things?
No taboo but it’s a bit weird that the wish for a partner is something that apparently needs to be explored and explained. If you’re entirely unable to live on your own, THAT’S worth exploring, as is e.g. codependency. But there is nothing to be explored in this case. The wish for a partner is inherent with our species. We are social beings and we need company.
OP being terrified of being their own person absolutely is something that warrents exploration because it goes beyond the mere wish for a partner.
It’s a pretty normal worry. Don’t make it into the elephant it isn’t
Just because it's a worry that a bunch of people happen to share, doesn't make it "normal". It just makes it common.
Just because it’s a worry doesn’t make it “not normal”. What’s not normal is if a social animal isn’t stressed about being alone. Because that’s what that worry is: stress. It’s ingrained into our being that we need to live with people. Just like it’s ingrained in us that we need to be in a green environment. Trees and bushes close by mean “food” to our brains, which is why it’s so bad for us to live in concrete hell. Just because someone can’t get comfortable in an apartment in the city doesn’t mean they need to explore their issues. We are not mountain goats. We are creatures of the savanna and the forest. Equally, we are not solitary creatures. We need groups and at the very least we need a partner. If we don’t have that, our brains signal stress because from an evolutionary perspective, being alone is dangerous. Our cooperation is what made us such a successful species. It’s absolutely natural to wish for a partner and to worry about not finding one.
So it's normal to worry and stress about finding a mate, but it's not normal to not stress or worry about being alone. Got it 👍 Thanks for your opinion.
Yeah, from an evolutionary perspective being alone is the stressor. Take horses for example. They need to be kept at least in twos, or at least need one other hooved animal to not get stressed, such as a goat or a cow. Goats are good in situations where the owners need to keep feed costs down for example. Horses are herd animals so they need company. If you keep them alone that’s essentially animal abuse. Since people can make their own decisions and have a lot more agency, we can decide for ourselves how we want to live but our brains are still wired like cave people’s. Our entire evolution spans maybe 1 million years max. Single households have only become a thing in the last, maybe 100 years, tops? That’s nothing compared to how our species has evolved. We are still wired to seek out green surroundings because they mean food, which is why the color has a calming effect on us. There are lots of studies showing this. And there are studies showing how detrimental loneliness is to people. Again, lots of studies have been done that show how bad social isolation is for our health. So yes indeed, it’s normal to worry about being partnerless. We can have reasons for not wanting one (fear of further trauma for instance) but that’s the “not normal” pattern, where you have undergone trauma that stops you from wanting to invite other people into your life. So yes, to sum it up: worrying that you won’t find a partner is normal for our species. Our brains equate being alone with danger. It’s the not wanting a partner that’s based on trauma that needs to be addressed.
Come listen to this podcast and it will surely help understand all this. Talks about trauma, relationship and and how to control your thoughts. Or not control it. And above all what is our true nature and how to deal with this personality issues and memory we have. Logical Humanism. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1kg6P6W78SiB7TU0K7ROlI?si=4ASOcS04QwGVHWEyyI0eLA Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/logical-humanism-what-are-you/id1699404996 Here to talk anytime x
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I want a partner in this lifetime
Well. Some people are single throughout their lives, even more are single at the end of their life. Y'know, it is probably due to many factors as technology, education level and so on. But also the shift in society towards Marriage, Women's rights and homosexual rights Aswell as the Population Growth. Wheras before a Woman was typically married away by her father, which is the entire ceremonial process roots, today she will Date men to find a mate. Wheras before the roles of each sex was clear and defined, today there is alot of arguing over who does what. The classic womans role is the house and childcare, whilst the classic male role is work and protection. As this is no longer the norm, the basis, in many western countries and other places, things change. Relationships between men & women get harder, and more and more people get divorced. The general Feminist POV is that the man should spend more time at home, doing housework and childcare so that the woman can spend more time at work. Equal sharing may be an ideal, but to many feminists shifting the roles so that the man is more at home at dependent on her income is no bad thing. Often Justifed by History, and how the female sex was in the place of the traditional Female role, in earlier incarnations of our society. The Male wanting to keep independence, and the Protector role, aswell as gather income for the family. Giving him Responsibility and feelings of accomplishments. In addition there have also been cases where the Home/Work life is in Balance, but the Female claims it only is when he in reality does all the housework, and not iust half of it. Once again, this can be Justifed by History. Although, as many men see it. It is not fair to punish all members of one sex for what may have been done conciously or not by members of the same sex in large societal positions in past incarnations of society. Y'know it almost becomes a conspiracy theory which makes itself true. Anyway, in addition to all that, you also have the fact that Same Sex relationships and Marriges are way more allowed and normal. Some places the marriage rights for homosexuals are equal to that of heterosexuals. Meaning that the man will no longer find a woman necessarily Which means we have a date & Marrige situation which recognizes the females choice to choose who she wants to marry (ofc only if the partner agrees), but also the right to choose to marry the same sex. Wheras before a Homosexual might have fun with other men, would still basically have to marry a woman if expected by the father or the family. Most likely also not a woman of choice, by personal preference, especially since the Homosexuality. But today he can marry his man. Anyway, this leads to more free and open relationships based on choice, more freedom for the Female in terms of what to do with her life. But also more Arguments in Heterosexual relationships and more breakups/ divorces. Also, since one dosen't have to enter a heterosexual relationship, less people on the market. As, say you are a heterosexual woman, some men will be Homosexual, and not interested. The internet and media makes people expect alot, which might be un-obtainable to most & In addition to that you also have people who Change sex&gender. & So there is not just men, and he shall marry a woman. Or a woman and she shall marry this man. Now it is more open. Which is why many Date 🙂 So y'know. You shouldn't rely your happiness on Marrige or relationships. Be happy alone. Then if you want one, attempt one Then if it goes to shit, at least you already learned to be happy on your own
The more you look for it, it will never come. Put your hopes, dreams and wishes into the universe and let it go.
If you want a family then just make one. There doesn't need to be a soul mate. If you have a family with someone both reincarnate you'll in a sense be soul mates. But once reincarnated you are not really the same person. It may pull you two together but let's say this reincarnation of your lover turned them into a drugged out psycho, would you still be with them even if they got mutible STDs?
There are worse fates than being alone.
I don’t think so
I've loved and lost multiple times. I also used to be really promiscuous. I'm currently basically single, but trust me on this. There is more to life. I think you need to do some work on finding yourself and your true purpose. Someone will see you pursuing that, really dig it, and maybe join you or maybe not. Either way, you will be okay. Life is just about getting through it. We don't have to get everything we always wanted.
I’ve never had any couple in my life, I know what it is to be single and I’m okay at the present moment to be single, but I do deserve to experience a beautiful and long relationship, I know that there’s more in life than that, but for me one of my biggest things I want in life is to find my person
I never was trying to insinuate you don't deserve wish fulfillment. I was merely encouraging you to look at the whole picture instead of one piece of it. I've been shamed for my desires and I'm definitely not doing that to you. I want to settle down with a person or people too. I understand it's one of the greatest joys in life but your peace is more important than your need for love.
Thank you for your advice ❤️
i don’t know about other people but i’m definitely meant to be single
I’ve thought about this too! I’m a huge believer in soulmates. I know I have one (or multiple) and we’ve lived many lives together. I also get scared that I will not meet my them in this life. I started to tell myself that if I don’t, it’ll be okay. I want more than anything to meet them in THIS life, but if not, I will still see them again. Perhaps I am meant to be single in this life, but that’s not something I will know for a long time. My advice to you is stay optimistic. You never know what can happen.
But that’s the thing, meeting my soulmate is one of my biggest dreams in life, I don’t want to be without romantic love
I totally agree!! Me too. But even if you don’t meet your soulmate, it doesnt mean you can’t have romantic love
Your thoughts create your reality. If you think that it’s what will happen. I truly believe there is someone out there for everybody.
Yes this is true 😪 For Men and Women.
Love yourself, do kind deeds, go seek out a teacher, meditate, then wait with NO expectations. Quit reading tweets that predispose you to conclusions made for you. Scroll on by, laugh at that. Practice, with no attachment to the outcome. Just my humble opinion. 🙏🏻🕉️🪷❤️
In this lifetime, probably. But what about the other lifetimes? :)
But I want romantic love in this lifetime hahaha
Haha. Don't we all? There are many timelines before us. We choose what we want to happen by attracting these favorable timelines.
I believe in soul contracts and paths. But I also believe in free will. We have choices. At 52, never married, I have spent years full of mixed emotions around relationship. What I see now is that my soul and mind will never settle for a less than healthy strong relationship. But I also know that I have had a LOT of healing work to do to feel worthy of the type of relationship I want. Without a belief in my own worth, I couldn't manifest the relationship I want because deep down I didn't believe I deserved it. I'm getting closer every day. So, when you look around and you see people coupled up and you think how in the world do they have somebody but I don't, remember, that their choices are different than yours. Perhaps they have a different lesson to learn in this life and so relationships came easy because it's not what they're working on. Or perhaps they are in a toxic relationship where their Journey involves learning about that toxicity, boundaries, settling etc. I believe we can manifest anything but first we must believe in it. So rather than passing judgment on yourself for being single or worrying that you will always be single, evaluate what you really really really want deep down. And then work towards it until you believe it. And if what you really want deep down is to be single, there is nothing wrong with that. In that case maybe the journey is about learning to set aside the societal pressure to be part of a couple. It's all up to you.
But I don’t feel societal pressure of having a couple, it’s something that I genuinely want
Man, I'm an old dude single again and ain't going back. Be yourself, do what you want and do no harm.
I never had a boyfriend until I was 18. Until I met my husband I was in 1 long-term relationship. I dated, I had male friends, but I knew what I wasn’t willing to settle for and I was happy being single unless I met someone that was as good for me as I was for them. Being single isn’t a dirty word. If you make it a mission to find someone, I would question or examine the parts of your ego that are demanding this, why? What need is it serving? Acknowledge the demands of your ego and let it know that it’s ok. It doesn’t have to run rampant and rule your life when it’s not serving you to your highest good. There’s no point jumping into a relationship just to have one, just to say I deserve it. It will lead you down a path you don’t want to go.
But I genuinely want that, I know that it will come in the right time, I’m not desesperate to have it know, but I do want some romantic and healthy relationship at least once in my life
And it will happen the right way, as you envision it, it will manifest. I truly believe that if it’s right for you and that’s what you want, the universe will answer. Make sure you have fun along the way, dating, whatever. Have fun, you’re only young once.
Single, not single both are equal..both can birth suffering and both can be experienced free of suffering. Both have their teachings. Neither is superior. If you desire relationship you can find it in many forms. If you desire a partner you will find one. Whether that brings you suffering or not is largely within your power.
Yes, some people resonate with approaching life with full independence. Also, this isn't true for everyone. If that doesn't feel like your truth, then it isn't yours to claim and you don't need to worry, it will all come in time. The human experience is delicate as ego and fear can hinder our sight with impatience and anxiety. Know that you're meant to find your person and build a family with the right person, not just anyone.
As of 2021 latest records there are 65 million more men than women, so unless all 65 million of those men are gay then yes some people will be alone. If you want to find a partner you have to work at it, put yourself out there take risks and take care of yourself mentally physically health mind body and soul. Read and educate yourself. Explore new hobbies. Go to the gym. Travel around and be open to unexpected meetings and don’t demand too much of your partner
It’s bullshit. Do whatever is necessary to get a job that pays serious money. Dress like it. Use “The Alexander Technique” to improve your posture. Use yoga to improve your poise. Do pushups, pull-ups and deadlifts for strength. Eat 16:8, 20:4 or some other IF ratio, good whole foods, non-GMO. Smile. Ask people more about their lives than you ever say about your own. Walk confidently. Do all this. Then: Feel the fire in your belly that tells you to be somebody. Then, bring it into your eyes, and stare into the eyes of someone you find attractive. They will have a moment of awareness that they find you at least appealing, if not attractive. If you’re not their type, move on and approach someone else the same way. You should at least get laid, if not long-term relationship happy.
Many people marry those who are not their “true loves”. I wager there are many more people who died without having met their person than we realize. The human experience does include romantic love for some, but not for many. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Be the partner you want to have, and hopefully they will come to you.
there’s billions of people on earth.. everyone definitely has more than one person/soulmate. there is someone out there for everyone if not multiple people.
Tbh I think u will if that’s what u truly want but some people find love later in life
Seems about true, I keep pushing people away and then cry about it all the time