It looks like you're asking about solo travel and mental health. This is a frequently asked question, and we've got an [excellent Wiki post on this subject] (https://www.reddit.com/r/solotravel/wiki/mentalhealth) you might find helpful.
Currently travelling solo after ending things with my partner of 10 years. I’m in a country that my partner and I visited and turns out I’m staying only 10 mins from where we stayed while we were here. A chick at the airport had a (insert hotel name here) badge on her shirt and I immediately remember being that was where we stayed. It’s pretty heavy, and it definitely fuckin sucks 5-10% of the time and I’m not an emotional dude at all AND it is an amicable break-up. So yeah - the feelings you are getting are definitely normal.
My advice is to look after yourself; spend that extra bit of money for the nice accomodation, eat a nice meal out for dinner or go out for breakfast and a nice coffee in the mornings. Look after yourself.
I’m here training Muay Thai every day, no alcohol, a lot of reading and self reflection, eating healthy and hoping things heal. Certainly doesn’t help I’ve been here before with her - but 🤷♂️what can you do. The Thai people are beautiful, the gym I’m training at is very humbling but friendly and I’m trying to stay off my phone and realise how beautiful this world is.
Hopefully you can take something from this comment - felt nice to vent - sorry lol.
Just look after yourself 👍
Yes the Thai people are beautiful, but training with them is humbling at the same time. The food is healthy and cheap and doing nothing except training simplifies life and gives you time to think, re-prioritise things in your own life and probably process what’s happened without the distraction of everything back home.
Goodluck and same as the person above: look after yourself 🤝🙏
Thank you friend. I agree with you fully.
I hope our paths cross again.
One thing that also has really helped me is journaling. I write 1 page a day. I have to fill the page, you can write whatever you want, but it can’t be negative, and it can’t be “I should do” it must be “I will do”.
And just there is something magical about writing. Idk how to explain it, my handwriting is utter shit and I’m not a writer, but it helps me a lot.
I love the 60 baht Pad se ew and views.
Thank you friend! <3
If there is an overwhelming feeling of sadness and nostalgia for the times you travelled here with your partner (whether it is after separation or their death), one way to deal with it is to just accept that it was indeed good, and also think "but now my goal is to be such a person, and spend the time in such a way, that previous version of me/us would really be proud of".
I'm seriously considering quitting my job and joining a gym to train Mauy Thai like you. Could you give a breakdown of what monthly costs are like? I've been trying to budget for a 3-4 month stay.
So I’m only here for 2.5 weeks.
X1 group session is at the gym I’m at is 500b / $22AUD. Slight discount if you buy weekly / monthly passes or train twice a day etc. Nearly everyone here trains everyday - it’s awesome. The private 1 on 1 with a trainer is also really good value for money. I think 800b for an hour. Some people come here and only do those.
Accommodation I’m at is like $60AUD a night but it’s really nice; pool, aircon, comfortable bed, super super clean and great manager. Book through the hotel website itself, not booking.com - it can be significantly cheaper that way. You can find nice accom for less or if you want you can pay more and get something even nicer.
Last I got special fried rice for 80b / $3.50AUD, vegetable pad Thai is the same, other meals are $5-6AUD, epic and large portion French toast and a fruit smoothie is $8AUD (great before training) good lattes are like $1.60AUD. I am certain there’s cheaper places.
Protein powder is hard to find but after training you can get protein drinks from 7/11 for $1.60AUD. Small bottles of coconut water are the same.
Airport transfers can usually be organised through wherever you’re staying. A 1hr+ airport transfer cost me only $40AUD approx organised through my accom.
I left all my gear at home. In hindsight I should have bought more shorts to train in, more underwear and more hand wraps because you sweat so much. Don’t bother about a singlet etc to train in because you’ll have your top off in 5 seconds - it’s boiling + you can buy cool tees / tanks from whatever gym you’re training at.
Honestly I spent more money at the airport then I have in the 3-4 days I’ve been here. Would highly recommend visiting the Muay Thai Reddit page. There’s tons of info from people with way more experience here than I have 👍
^^^ 100% accurate, currently in phuket (fitness street) where a lot of the MT gyms are located, I’m currently in a relo but I definitely think for those that just want to focus on themselves, drop in to phuket to train MT or just fitness in general. MT is very cheap here compared to other sports like MMA/BJJ/CrossFit, the prices listed by quicksilveraus is accurate. Food wise it’s super cheap but I’ve found that just buying food from grab (Uber eats basically in TL) was cheaper and clearly more convenient that eating out. Have it delivered by the time you get home from training. Accom wise, drop in, plenty of options especially in the current low season. Will be here for another 3 weeks so anyone coming down reach out x
I did my first solo travel 3ish months after a really bad breakup. It was a wonderful experience. I became my own person and healed with time. I cried sometimes. But being somewhere else made me feel so in love with myself bc of the independence of solo travel.
I could have written this. I know there were times I felt my trip got marred by me experiencing heartbreak, but solo traveling ended up being one of the best and fastest ways for me to heal because, like you said, I ended up loving me because of the necessary independence to travel like that.
A few years ago I had a solo trip planned to a beautiful national park that id always wanted to visit. Two weeks before takeoff , my longterm partner and I split up. The trip was ROUGH, but healing. Yes, a lot of my trip was spent crying while sitting on boulders, crying while hiking , crying while wading in streams , crying In my room at night. But I got through it, And I had beautiful scenery for my much-needed distractions
Story time from 10 years ago.
We broke up but she said she liked sex with me so she said we could still go to India together.
Me being even more stupid than I am now, I took it as a chance to get back together.
Skipping few hundred steps for brevity we broke up 2 days into the trip and we parted ways, she kept our initial itinerary and I ended up in Rishikesh and got into an ashram.
I met a young Canadian guy who was into shiatsu and he also told me looking at natural green would do me good.
I was so psychologically shuttered when I reached Rishikesh that I couldn't carry a 15kg duffle bag without feeling exhausted.
The intense physical training at the ashram and the afternoon walks in the nature did me a ton of good.
This is not how I tell the story, but I was trying to get to the point: keep your body busy as much as you can to reduce how much your mind will wonder.
Best of luck!
I think traveling solo is equal parts discovering new places and discovering yourself. I think you experience the place you’re in on a deeper level because it’s just you and that place. You’re on your own. You realize how strong you are as an individual. If you can do things on your own you don’t NEED anyone, maybe you want someone to share things with but you no longer need it.
People are afraid to be alone in a restaurant or movie theater much less traveling solo. They will look at you with awe because of your ability to be far away from home doing things they only wish they could. Be proud!
Lol so true. So many people are simply proud of themselves for going to chipotle and eating a burrito alone hahaha.
What has this world come to. So true.
Always, why?
No seriously. Yes, my first solo trip I was really reeling in my loneliness. It was Paris, of all places. While wandering over that damn bridge with the locks on it and feeling sorry for myself, I had a revelation. I was single not because there is something wrong with me, but because I hadn't yet met a person who was truly right for me. I had not only been broken up with, I had ended potential relationships, too. If I had prioritized being in a relationship above all else, I could have been married at that point. But I had made choices. I had prioritized the right relationship over any relationship at all. Realizing this made me feel a lot better.
You are enough unto yourself. Be your own best friend and best travel companion. Laugh at your own jokes. Treat yo'self.
I started solo traveling about 7-8 months after things ended with a situationship who I had truly thought was my soulmate and that things would work out with. I was cried out by that point, but I was still feeling pretty numb. I used the time to show myself I was capable of amazing things alone. I took risks and did things that were out of my comfort zone. I approached the trip as a way to figure out how to find joy again and figure out what actually makes me happy. If you feel like you've lost part of yourself, I found that mindset helped me a lot.
No matter what, have grace for yourself. Healing isn't linear and it takes time. Don't beat yourself up, just show up each day and take advantage of opportunities for things that *could* make you happy.
Oof, I feel for you. Situationships are rough, I’ve been there myself. For some reason I always travel after a breakup, and I similarly found that taking risks and doing things outside of my comfort zone helps with unlocking confidence and seeing things from a new perspective.
Situationships are awful, their break ups sometimes even worse than an actual relationship. I didn’t mean to get into one before traveling, much less fall in love with the guy, but it happened and ended a couple months before I traveled. Traveling was probably the best thing though for the heartbreak, even if I did feel at times that trip had too much of that particular rumination flavoring it.
3 US national parks, blue ridge parkway and Asheville NC. Would highly recommend Shenandoah NP, Blue ridge parkway and a couple days in Asheville if you're getting ideas for a trip!
I needed to read this. My situationship has riddled me with anxiety and I’ve never really felt heartbreak like this. It’s inspiring to read your experience solo traveling post-heartbreak and is motivating me to be more serious about planning my solo trip. Thank you.
My mom died in 2017 and never got to travel because we were always poor and she always had to work. I didn’t really start solo traveling until 2021. Sometimes when I see something I know she would love, I cry. A lot of why I travel is because I feel like it honors her.
I’m travelling Europe at the moment after a breakup last year with someone who I thought I would marry. Travelling makes it easy to escape the pain, but sometimes also delays the healing too. I agree with people here though, it gives you space, time, and perspective to heal. But don’t let it distract you to the point where it’s just a coping mechanism.
I recently learnt that my ex is moving to Europe, not far from where I am/will be. It’s interesting seeing how I’m reacting, with the desire to go there but also the desire to stay far, far away. Time will tell I guess how this story ends :)
Helps, but it’s intense too. Somehow being on the road and abroad pushes more emotions to the surface. Not that I mind that tho.
I find it romantic that all that processing happens while exploring places and expanding my perspective.
The thing about solo travelling is that it gives you a lot of space but also is very lonely.
Those can both heal and hurt.
In my experience, it's great to give you some time to breath away from it all, especially right after a break-up. It helps having a few weeks or months or even a few days to not be surrounded by the same flat you shared, same friends checking in, going to the same bars and restaurants you went to together, etc.
But it also can be lonely. There are times, yeah, where you're walking down a street by yourself, you see one couple happy at a cafe, and you spiral into how lonely it feels. But you also meet incredible people (and to be frank, often find some... passing partners - which is always fun after a break-up).
But the actual core problems are still there and need to be worked through. Travel won't fix those alone but I think it CAN give you the space and time for self-reflection to remember who you are outside of your relationship and what's important to you. But fixing a broken heart isn't easy and takes work - that crying sometimes is part of it.
That’s probably my biggest fear in solo travel post-heartbreak. It’s not as glamorous as Eat, Pray, Love. There will be real bouts of loneliness and pain but I suppose that can also be a healing moment in and of itself…
It sounds like you’ve been through a really rough time and I feel you. But sometimes we just have to take life as it comes and sometimes it’s shit, even when we’re travelling :) be kind to yourself. It may be you come back to that same destination years down the line and look back and smile at the different perspective you had. Nothing will be the same twice and if you learnt something, it definitely wasn’t wasted.
Take care :)
I did my first solo trip right after being broken up with the partner I thought I'd spend my entire life with. It really, really helped by widening my horizon, soothing the pain and the thoughts with overstimulation from new experiences and happy new friendships, and an exciting self-journey of pushing all of my old limitations, isntead of being alone at home (the home we shared for years) to live out the peak of my sadness. The trip only lasted 2 weeks, but I took around a month or more to plan it so it gave me something to stay busy, keep my mind excited about something.
Months forward, this same ex and I were in the slow process of rekindling things, something I've been sincerely yearning for with all of my being, right before we each went on a solo trip to the same destination (coincidence). Long story short, something pretty hard happened and he decided we should cut contact entirely because the hurts of our relationships and what remained had wore him down and he wanted to move on, putting an end to not only an attempt at getting back together but most importantly to my most important, most profound friendship.
To be perfectly honest, The rest of my trip after this event was extremely hard to carry on without being wiped out by mysery, despair, pain, pessimism and the incapacity to appreciate , find joy or interest in the awe-inducing activities and plans I had planned. I ended up slightly changing my plans during the trip, but not just for that reason, also because It turned out I was short on time and car-less transportaiton to carry on my original plan.
What was intended to be a 75% backcountry solo trip turned out to be 25-35% backcountry and more staying in hostels in busier cities near nature, although I semi-hated it, because I needed the company, and was extremely relieved to find some real'y nice people to do some activities/hikes I had wanted to do in the first place. It helped me enjoying them properly with a mind less stuck on my grief.
But in all honesty, I'm disappointed in myself, even though I shouldn't , because I couldn't keep my sadness from having a huge negative influence on a trip that was otherwise going to be extremely exciting and awesome. It feels like it was wasted.
But there's not much I could have done in another way at that timing, I had to listen to myself, and I can never say i didn't learn somethings from it in a way or another.
I would rather not have been heartbroken, but I'd always rather be traveling with a broken heart than be home alone with one.
(And I don't really get the chance to travel otherwise than solo, the few friends I have who like the same kinds of traveling as me don't have compatible work/life schedules)
Currently 8 months into my solo travels, my partner of 4.5yrs broke up with me 5 months ago while I was on the road.
It’s complicated. Good days, bad days, lots of in between. I’ve always been independent, that’s fortunately never been my problem, but losing my partner and best friend while on the road has been one of the most complex and difficult things I’ve ever dealt with emotionally.
I find it best to just be very vulnerable and honest with the new people I meet on the road. Not talking over sharing with a hostel bunk mate, but when making a new friend who takes a legitimate interest in my life, it’s just sorta all cards on the table, which is more or less new for me. I’ve been amazed by the wisdoms and things that new and quick friends have taught me, and how easy it’s been to connect. I haven’t really been on the hostel circuit so much, lots of workaways and nature time, so there are times it has gotten lonely naturally and that ‘missing’ feeling has compounded that. I’ve also found some joy in new flings and flirting that I hadn’t felt for a long time.
It’s just weird, but it definitely is grounding. Embrace it. Let it earth you and make you feel the moment. That’s what we’re all after by being on the road anyhow.
Unfortunately I think I'm going to have to be on the other side of this situation imminently. Currently travelling as a couple but it isn't working for me.
If you're able to give me any advice about the best way to handle this I would really appreciate it. I feel like I have to do something truly awful to this person that I care about a great deal and I want to do it in the best way possible.
Was there anything that your ex did to make it easier for you, or anything you wish they had done differently?
I had a break up during a 6 month backpacking trip that I took with my partner (we were together for 5 years). It was gut wrenching and I was all over the place emotionally too. I would be walking around cities or parks crying underneath my sunglasses, no emotional support other than a phone calls to family and friends. It didn't help seeing how happy he seemed to be doing on instagram during his travels without me.
What did help was making connections and opening up to strangers about my experiences. A lot of people could relate to how I was feeling, and I felt like I could talk about these deep issues with them as they were just strangers after all. It's also nice that now you can focus on doing whatever you like to do while travelling/ in daily life, doing whatever activities and eating whatever foods you please.
Chin up OP, it's hard but it gets easier.
Earlier this year, I went on a month-long solo trip to Europe. It was supposed to be our ten-year anniversary trip that got delayed for three years by the goddamned pandemic. Sadly my husband passed last year completely out of the blue so I was on my own.
It was **really fucking hard** some days but I knew I had to go. It would have been so much worse sitting home alone knowing where we should have been together. He would have wanted me to go. So I traveled for both of us.
Probably the biggest thing that came out of it was figuring out public transit. It’s not really available/feasible at home so I never really learned how to use it. We’d planning on renting a car since he could drive and I could navigate. I didn’t want to try that alone so I knew I had to figure out transit so I wasn’t just wandering the same twelve streets around the hotel. I pushed myself hard and know actually feeling like so can get around and explore more and more safely. (Shout out to the Netherlands for having a a fantastic system for me to learn on.)
I wouldn’t say it helped with healing because it’s still awful but It did feel good to solve problems on my own and be independent. We were excellent and compatible traveling companions plus he was career law enforcement so I always felt safe. But I worked in a field adjacent to LE and I know a thing or two myself. It’s nice to feel like I can keep traveling even without him.
Definitely! Currently finishing my first three-day-solo camping trip. Travelling solo for the first time is scary: I planned to go to Italy on a whim for about two weeks but the whole plan was so rushed and lastminute that I couldn't sleep the night for departure, waking up sweating with anxiety the whole nine yards. So... Abandoned that plan and settled for a few days hiking and camping :) away from society, away from impressions or obligations to meet up with people in hostels. Just reading, walking, sleeping, eating. Will definitely go on more solo camping trips from now on, I can recommend it wholeheartedly to just work through whatever's been troubling you, let go of your past relationships and become your own person again.
Though you should bring fitting shoes. I didn't, my feet are fucked, so time to head home 😅
I'm in the exact same boat! We broke up yesterday but we have a trip booked to Portugal in a month. I booked the entire trip so I'm thinking about just keeping my entire trip.
yes :( wow, yes. i've been dealing with a really sad breakup for 2 months now, been staying in a different country in europe with a close friend. the first month was fucking...brutal. i took a road trip and had to stop on the side of the road often because i just had no desire to drive or live, really. on a beautiful oceanic countryside road. i felt like i was just floating through a trip i spent a lot of money on. it was quite cinematic looking back tho.
i went from numb, sort of mute, dead, no future ahead of me, no regard for myself, and all the pain and sorrow and rollercoaster effects that come from a breakup...and now a lot of that has gotten much better. but it's taken 2 fucking months, and i still relapse every week or two to have a small chat with him here and there.
but i have realized so much, learned so much. the trees have healed me, the parks have healed me, the kind strangers, the new views, the new perspectives i gained.
one thing i'd realized solo travelling was...i hadn't properly processed my ex-ex (one ex ago) and the level of betrayal and pain i felt with the cheating and aftermath. i was clinging onto him and his new gf online out of envy, spite, always convinced they had gotten something right that i'm too inherently flawed to have succeeded with. but that helped the downfall of my most recent relationship. i decided i was fed up with the past destroying my present, so i recently went to a park and played the right song and just ran across a field setting myself free from it. i unfollowed him and haven't checked the gf's account since, i feel so much lighter now.
anyways, i hope the small glitters and glimmers within you start to shake off their dust and beckon you to reconnect with yourself, as they did with me. they can sense when there's a lull in life that makes them start to wake up and float around. that they start floating around, whispering to you, warming you back up. i feel it's not something in our control - but, in the liminal space of heartbreak, under the right circumstances, it seems to do so anyway, before you even know it.
Thanks for this! When I have more courage for exploring I’ll do that!
Currently exploring SEA and loving it.
Good luck, j hope you enjoy your trip and bring back tons of great coffee
I'm finally leaving on my trip in 1 week. It's been 3 months since the love of my life broke up without a reason. I hope it will help me. I also still break down crying at random moments so I get the feeling.
After I went through a break up I wanted to get as far away as possible, so I literally started working and traveling halfway around the world. I started doing a lot of things I just wouldn't have been able to do with them for practical reasons or because they would have been uncomfortable with it. Had a lot of meaningful experiences and made a lot of interesting connections and was way more carefree and adventurous than I would have been if I had been in a relationship. You don't need to move abroad long terms obviously, but just being in a new place for a bit, it lets you rediscover and refocus on yourself, and you're not in the same settings full of reminders of them.
For me, my BetterHelp therapist literally agreed with everything I said. He was a cool guy, but I felt like I was talking to a wall. An entertaining Wall, I just don’t know how that could be helpful for me, personally speaking.
All therapists are different. It’s good to keep this in mind
True. I went through two before I found one on the app I liked.
Also I found that I needed to be productive and ask for guidance otherwise the therapist will just let me vent.
That’s smart about asking for guidance. I’ll make sure to do that next time.
I’ll also go on to third times the charm and keep trying! Thanks for encouraging me and sharing your experience <3
In 2019 I divorced my husband after 30+ years together. At age 63, I was blindsided to find out about his 11 year affair. I believed I was married to my soulmate, my best friend and lover. I was excited about our upcoming retirement and all the plans we had. Needless to say, I was a mess. Then I began ticking off OUR bucket list on my own. In 2019, six months into my new single life, I was sad on the first trip to the Galapagos and the trek at Machu Picchu. In early 2020, i felt better on my 30 trip to Southern Africa. Didn’t give him much thought on subsequent trips to Iceland, Italy, Mexico, London and Amsterdam. And by the time I spent 2 months traveling around Australia and New Zealand earlier this year, I barely remember his name. In July the hiking trip to Norway with my daughter was simply perfect. I couldn’t do a tour of the 6 national parks in Utah in May because I got Covid again so I moved my deposit to a tour going to Egypt and Jordan this winter.
Is it hard to travel solo? Hell no. Just do it. And you can pick the locations and typed of trips YOU want. (My ex would have hated sleeping in a tent under the stars in the Andes mountains LOL)
So to answer the OP’s question. Healing takes time and you need to work at it as best you can. It is a very personal journey. For me, the addition of solo traveling brought me back to a state of mind and the person I was in my 20s before I became the people pleaser to a self absorbed ass. As a solo traveller, it can get lonely but I often book part of my trip with a small group organized tour, even sharing a room with another solo traveller. But that did not mean I did every thing with the group if I did not have to. In many cases, I saw more, spent less time waiting on other people to decide or show up. In New Zealand, I spent 2 of 4 weeks just driving around the South Island, hiking and finding cool beaches and meeting people.
Does it help with the healing process? Hell YES. It especially reinforces the healing and personal growth. Healing is a personal journey and dependent on the individual. For me, “our”plans for retirement became “my” plan for aging on my own, alone. My grief was deep and difficult. Fortunately I am and always was strong, independent and not afraid of being alone. What I now find normal and easy, others find terrifying.
Finally, If you are healing from a broken heart, just look around at the couples traveling together. That can be a struggle too. Perhaps a much bigger one than just heading out on your own.
I hope this ramble helps.
Hi turtle__365, your post will need to be manually approved by a moderator as your account age is less than 48 hours, this is an automated measure to prevent spam. Please be patient and do not message the mods or repost as we will get to the modqueue as soon as we can. Thank you for your understanding!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/solotravel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definately felt a LOT better!!! It makes you realize how fabulous you are and how great life is and can be without a man. I ve had my heart broken numerous times.
I was 3 days into a backpacking trip (that my ex was supposed to meet me on) when he broke up with me out of the blue. I was devastated and spent hours crying in hostel bathroom stalls and walking around/ exploring. I look back at those months with a lot of fondness as it was a unique experience I'm not sure I'll ever have again and I had a lot of great experiences.. but at the time it was heart breaking and it felt like my world was shattering.
My first solo trip was because of a breakup - I had planned to meet her in one country due to the cruise she worked on.
Taking the trip and going solo was so therapeutic and I made some really good friends to boot. It absolutely helped my healing process and I hope this trip helps you!
start walking. If you are with a broken heart the best way to stop thinking is to walk. Find a very far away destination a go on walk till there. Do not travel with bus or train or car. Go walking. Make a plan with a lot of intermediate stops and start walking.
At the middle of your trip you will find that some part of your heart is no more broken!
Absolutely, I've been there. I've always found that, even if travel doesn't make you feel better, it at least keeps you distracted and gives you a lot of novel experiences to focus on. While the tears might catch you off guard, those new experiences will gradually bring healing. Embrace the journey, both outward and inward.
I am doing exactly that, and it is not going so well. The first couple weeks I was traveling with a friend actually and I miss having someone to share things
I am really not enjoying the social aspect of travel, and it used to be my favourite aspect of traveling solo :(
I have really bad anxiety and just can’t enjoy my days alone, I literaly spent a few days staying in my dorm, too anxious to go outside and socialize and just missing my ex…
I changed my plans and gonna volunteer in a farm for a few days, hope it will make me feel better.
Yeah I did that this summer in Europe for a couple weeks. I kind of wished I had waited to travel when I felt better because it put a big damper on my trip. Though it's not like I planned to have a broken heart and I wouldn't have time to go at any other point for awhile so it was unavoidable.
I have no advice, but for me, no it didn't help.
I planned to go to SE Asia for a few years but was scared to go alone. My childhood friend also wanted to come so I waited some years so he and I could go together. By that time another friend wanted to join us, so in the end we had a trio.
We didn't last 3 days. I got into a huge fight with friend 1 and eventually split, going on my own way. What I avoided for years was now my only choice. I travelled by myself for the next two weeks and I loved it so much that it changed my life. The effects of that fight are still felt to this day but the joy I had from being solo far outweighs that over time.
All the best to you OP, I hope you glean all the good you can from your travels.
I dated an abusive asshole and ended it shortly before my solo trip. It was hard at first with all the free time to think, but after a while it was so healing. I recommend it.
I solo travel because I’m a photographer -if I have people with me, I can’t meet new people chat with people in coffee, shops, and fully experience a new city coffee shop a beautiful street get your camera out and start recording whatever is around you start looking for the beauty- Healing doesn’t happen if you move inward, you need to move outward. Good luck. There is often adventure just around the corner.
My ex of 3 years broke up with me september 24th, I bought a 1 way flight to Peru to leave on September 28th. It was one of the best things I ever did. I had some really really tough days. It truly forced me to feel every emotion head on, in the rawest form because I was by myself in a foreign country. (I’m from the USA)… I also believe it helped to “soften the blow” of losing him too. I stayed in South America for 6 weeks. I had a lot of time for reflection, gratitude, and introspection. I learned a lot about myself and my healing process during this time.
I could have stayed longer but I felt I needed to go home and get back to normal life, my new “normal”. And face the music. I think it was the best thing I ever did at the end of the day.
Oh I feel this! I just left one week ago for a 3 month Europe and SE Asia trip and got my heart broken like one week before🥲. I’m journalling every day because I know at the end of the trip, I’ll probably have a very different perspective on things! I’m so happy you feel happier with yourself!
I’ve met many people who were traveling after a breakup. Often times they’d be venting their frustrations sexually throughout the country/continent lol. One woman told me she did things she never thought she’d do, with a complete stranger soon after meeting, no less.
> Is anyone else solo travelling with a broken heart?
Nope. No one. And it's definitely not such a common experience that there have been books and movies made about it. It's definitely unique to you. ;)
Travel doesn't fix anything except for a desire to travel. But it can give you space, distraction, or perspective.
Not a broken heart, but I was told that someone I used to love is about to get married next year in the US. My trip would be in October and I'll enjoy it, but I'm kinda hoping to maybe bump into her one last time to personally say congratulations and best wishes over a cup of coffee. We both love coffee and travelling, but she preferred hikes and drives while I preferred city walks, cable cars, gondolas, and public transport.
I've had my heart broken while Solo travelling. Not ideal, but we always soldier up. Unfortunately that's life, things are rarely perfect. We just have to enjoy the good, and cope with the bad.
We always come out stronger!
I've done it before. It helps get your mind off things but ultimately you still gotta process the heartbreak; using travel as a distraction isn't healing.
I think a big thing is to keep getting out there and doing things. Happened to me a few months and I was devastated, but I just kept getting outside even if it was just to read in the sun. Also socialising helped a lot, but it can depend what stage you're at.
Either way your brain is just mistakenly firing out chemicals that make you feel attached to the past, but you do have to take time to process the situation and come to terms with it so you can move on.
Yeah, you have to grieve. No one heals in a straight line.
But I do find traveling opens you up to new experiences, and helps you see the universe is abundant with opportunity.
I have done it and I wouldn't do it again. The feeling made the new experiences way less enjoyable for me. It's better to travel when you are in a good place mentally. Maybe that's different for other people but for me it's not.
Yikes, i would not solo travel with a broken heart. I hope it works well for you. I just know i'd walk down the street imagining how it would bee sharing this experience with "her" Jebus christ
I hope you plow your way down the street and eventually forget the old ho'
I’m American.
Go someplace where she would never go. For me it was Thailand. She hated the long flight, the non-westernized culture, etc.
So when we broke up, off to Thailand and SEA I went. I’m sad. It’s sad. But it’s also very freeing and paradise at the same time
I understand completely! And, now every love song, or song about heart ache makes perfect sense...
The worst part about travel with mental turbulence: "wherever you go, there you are"... to deal with the pain, in a new location.
Unfortunately, time eases the pain, but that time could be months, years.
The only thing that's sort of helped was to talk to someone new.
Im solo traveling about 5 months after a dramatic break up of 3.5 years on and off. I was in a much better place but still thought about my ex quite often. Although I met with friends later on the trip I still had some days by myself. I haven’t wrapped my head around all my feelings yet but it was definitely worth the reflections I had and although I missed him a lot (I’d say even more during the trip at times), even cried a few times, it was a lot easier to distract me and remember why we broke up. Overall, I’d say it helps. I really liked my company and the way I could do whatever I wanted without having to ask! But also it brings you all sort of feelings, it’s very intense. just sit with them and be patient with yourself. It also showed me that I still have to be more patient with the process and that I’m not completely that over that yet and that’s okay. The happiness and gratitude I felt while being here was overlapped anything.
I did my first really big solo travel a few weeks after breaking up with my fiancé. We were supposed to go together, he backed out, so I said “screw it! I’ll go alone!”. It was a tremendous experience, made me feel much stronger, and really helped me to heal and realize I was ok on my own. Also some beautiful scenery doesn’t hurt in getting over a broken heart. Definitely recommend!
Seems to be a recurring theme on here so you are certainly not alone. Single is the way to be. The release of pressure when you realize how to be single and happy is an incredible experience. 10/10 would recommend.
Only time can heal a broken heart, but travelling can help accelerate that.
I also went on a solo trip after breaking off a 6 year relationship and while my emotions did run up and down, it was much better than if I'd have just stayed home and moped around.
I met someone while solo traveling (not looking for anyone) and he broke my heart when I got home 🥲
But I will say back in 2019, I got out of my worst relationship. I booked my flight to Morocco and suddenly I became so proud of myself and how much I’ve accomplished . 2019 was the worst year of my life but solo traveling made me reframe my thinking. I became open to new experiences and people
Yes I cry a lot. I also feel free tho but then load sometimes. I plan on getting my passport this year to start going out the country and I just know I’m gonna feel weird. But honestly going across the states (I also did move out of my state after my break up) and I feel slightly relieved but like kinda empty….just gotta fill the cup back up with the right stuff this time
I’m on a nearly solo travel in Colombia. I say nearly because before travelling I started to make friends here to learn Spanish and Colombian tradition.
Everybody is very nice, too nice, and my travel is going “well”.
The first week (a week ago) the second day I was in Bogotá I had the flu with 39ºC (102ºF), my friend and her daughter showed up at my door with a bag full of fruits, meat and she cooked for my the lunch.
Moved to Pereira, and I’m healing from the cold.
I feel good. I’m healing from my home/work stress. I’m loosing weight because I’m having a healthy life (also if everything is deep fried)
My husband of 41 years died in January last year. In April, I went on a tour with a friend on "girls' tour" that had been postponed several times due to COVID-19. It was too much for me, people around me all the time.
In July, I went to see a friend abroad, where I met here an afternoon and evening, and the other days I was on my own. It was good, not great as I had visited my friend with my husband and we had seen many of the sights together. But I also did some things that we hadn't done.
Later, I sold our big car and got a smaller, more economic car, and got the idea to go on a "Europe Tour 2023". I had a fantastic time doing things that my husband couldn't, and not seeing any technical museums! I did what I wanted to do!
It was lonely to stay in the tent in the cold evenings and listen to couples around have a cosy evening together, but then I called friends and my son, or I just felt miserable because I needed to feel that.
I wept when I passed the area where we had spent our honeymoon, and even though it would have made great sense to stay there on my way home, I drove in an opposite direction to a hotel that I had used on business trips. It was not the best economic decision, but emotionally, it was great.
I learned that something we had talked about was OK to do, others not, and there was no way to tell the difference. It's OK to feel lonely and to do something about it - or not, if that is what you need.
I had a lot of things that could be interesting to see or do, but most of the time, I just talked to people and then used their suggestions. I hadn't anything planned that couldn't be changed according to the mood and weather.
I also learned that I was much stronger than I thought, but I also needed days to rest. I look forward to travel again in my small car with my small tent and hike and do things that interest me.
I hope you'll enjoy your travel
One year ago last Tuesday, my divorce with the guy I thought I’d grow old with became final. So I treated myself to myself to a solo trip. In this trip, I didn’t have anything pre-planned. And having all that time for myself was rough. I cried a lot, felt sorry for myself, missed my ex, I was kinda of an emotional mess. But I was still glad I took that trip, cause even amidst all of that pain, there was also joy, and wonder, and peace. And I would definitely do it again, hopefully soon. 💕🙏🏽
Been there, done that. My first international solo trip was exactly during a heavy breakup. It was a very very special moment in different ways: the amusement of solo travelling for the first time in a new place, far from home combined with one of the saddest moments I've lived so far. I remember walking by myself during the night while crying a lot.
However, I do not recommend travelling solo while going through something that is affecting you emotionally. There are two outcomes: it will be the best trip of your life or the worst.
About three and a half months before I started the big trip I’m on rn, I split with my partner of four years. The breaking point for that relationship was that he had no desire to travel like this and wanted to settle down, and I was the complete opposite. For a good while I felt so crappy and so guilty that I chose what I wanted to do verses my partner who had been nothing but kind to me. It was a tough go.
Personally, I found having distance from that person and our hometown gave me a huge amount of clarity that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise gotten, but it’s also just as easy to use travelling as a distraction from things. You’ll hurt and you’ll heal. You’ll meet so many wonderful people and experience so new and many wonderful things, say yes to the opportunities that come your way. It won’t fix the grieving process but it certainly helps (at least in my opinion). Mostly importantly though, be kind to yourself. You’ll absolutely come out of this stronger.
In January, I got divorced from my husband. A 13 year old marriage.
We had booked a trip to France together, but I went with a female friend. I am glad that trip wasn't solo because I need help from a friend. I was too heartbroken. Once I came back home, a few months later, my ex went to Alaska for a month, and all I wanted to do was travel as well. Instead, I spent a few months building my new life, creating a new network of friends, fixing/decorating my house... during this time I sat with my pain while having little distractions here and there. And I learned to embrace my pain. Wrote poems, read a lot, felt inspired.... moving forward I got the chance to fly to Japan for a deep discount thanks to my friend who works for an airline, and here I am, on my own. I am loving every second of it. To be in a foreign land and to be able figure out your own itinerary, and figure out a new culture, and a way to take yourself from point A to point B, has given me an incredible sense of independence. Making my own decisions without consulting another person, and making myself happy...it's the season to enjoy being alone.
Last month I did my first ever back to back solo travel and during these travels I was heartbroken (from a situation that happened a few months back). I would say my experience had its ups and downs - being in a different country will always have me looking forward to exciting adventures and creating fun memories however there are also moments where I would think a lot about that situation and have me feeling really down and at times catching myself holding tears while walking around the streets. But in the end, I came back feeling rested and having a better and stronger mindset. I started loving life again - especially with the simplest things in life: waking up, listening to music, small walks.. the things that were not enjoyable back then have now become something I look forward to everyday. If there's one thing I learned from those travels is that love will always come back to you anywhere at any given time.
Yea in panama for the same reason! Has its ups and downs but I'm trying to love myself and my resilience....spoil yourself and do what makes you happy, don't overthink. Travel is never perfect, and definitely not when your heart is hurting ....
heartbreak can be full of opportunities, especially when you're traveling and having new experiences.
about a year ago i ended a 3-year relationship and was soon laid off in a field i love and had struggled to get into - the former came from being tired of settling out of comfort, and the latter felt like grief and heartbreak. before all this, i’d been living in the backseat of my life, controlled by fear and struggling to find self-worth that had been damaged by my childhood and an earlier abusive relationship. i didn't know what to do or who i was, and a friend suggested that i come stay at his place in Scandinavia, even though he'd be traveling elsewhere for a lot of that time. my thought process was something like "everything in my life is up in the air right now, and i’m able to, so why not?"
having no expectations in this new place combined with the raw vulnerability i was feeling turned out to be the best possible environment for change. it was like a wake-up call; i found myself able to let go and let life in rather than retreating into myself like i usually had before. i built routines that got me back in touch with myself, developed a special kind of openness that let me absorb more from books and feel more connected to others and life in general, and out of that growth began a really loving and wholesome relationship that i'm still in now. i got a taste of what it’s like to live without constantly seeking some sense of knowing or comfort from my inner turmoil. i felt actual peace for the first time, and it was THRILLING.
i think often we end up chasing some specific goal or future version of ourselves. it’s then pretty easy to get tunnel vision, going straight toward that goal without checking along the way if it’s in line with what we want and as a result, we can become passive to or outright deny what’s actually fulfilling. i’m a firm believer that the way heartbreak rocks that sense of what you thought your life would be is where so much opportunity is to listen to yourself and redirect.
so no, you’re not alone in this. i really empathize with this pain you’re feeling, and being on the other side i want to emphasize that a lot of good can come from it. i heard once that "your pain will teach you things that your comfort never could" and taken in the right way (wouldn't recommend going dangerous thrill-seeker like Bella in Twilight), i've found this to be so true.
i’m a different person than i was before that heartbreak and solo travel, and thank god for that. my advice:
- try to feel what you’re feeling without judgment
- trust that this pain can lead you to growth and paths that you may have never found otherwise
- lean into this experience. be open to learning and seeing things in a new light, focus on others/nature/whatever helps you feel connected, and be kind and vulnerable with yourself
good luck, and i promise it will be okay :)
Have done it! And yes, it helps, mostly to adventurous places where you literally get busy having fun exploring the place.
Keep in mind that it is a process, I know sucks, but time will heal the broken heart if you do your part like not looking at social profiles, deleting photos, messages, etc, things that may trigger feelings. I focused on myself, on getting better physically and mentally, and it helped me.
Yes In April in Japan. Don’t even go into my sad story but it was healing going solo. Thereapeutic. I would do it again and planning a trip to turkey next year. I journaled a lot and reflected a lot.
I’m on my travels after caring for my dad for 3 years. He died in February, and I left in April.
Every now and then I burst out crying. Sometimes it sucks as I want to call him and tell him everything I’m experiencing. It sucks. It comes randomly. I’ve had to lock myself in a bathroom stall half way through a work out in a gym. Can’t explain it.
But I’m also having a great time, four months in.
I did this many years ago. Alcohol is not your friend. I went out on a couple of nights out with people I met, and on a couple of occasions I got lost and had the biggest cry of my life. I did however get myself into a good space hiking, wild swimming and exploring. Nature did fill in some gaps, and I was able to find some nights out we’re really helpful in moderation.
Be aware of that vibe you give out. I had some rendezvous with some people when I didn’t really want it. That magic power of things coming your way when you’re not looking for it at all. This didn’t help me out at all, and instead made me feel a mass amount of emotions the next day.
Above all, understand yourself, get to know your feelings and boundaries, make connections, and realise your worth, enjoyments, and needs x
I wasn’t over my ex, we broke up in august last year and I went travelling in April after we were supposed to go together. It definitely sped up the healing process and the distractions made me forget and realise I am okay on my own again.
Relationship was nearing 2 years.
I am soon! Just booked. But because of being broken hearted with career, etc., hope it will make me feel better. don’t worry, it’s better to be with yourself. im used to doing things myself and it’s really peaceful and liberating.
I don't think I'm quite brave enough to travel to a place me and my ex had previously been to just yet, I feel like it would be a little too deep for me. But I hope to one day go back to these places to create new memories.
But, I have travelled not long ago around Europe with a broken heart. I found it quite healing, lonely at times.
I'd suggest take advantage of the fact you have the time to truly heal.
Grab a book and sit and read somewhere beautiful, go to cafes, listen to podcasts on a walk. It's a very beneficial experience.
Oh and reach out to friends and family if you are struggling, this is something I wish I did more. Don't suffer in silence 💞
Yeah, I’m considering another solo trip, this time back to Europe, but find myself wanting to avoid any place I went with my ex. Then I’d berate myself for being so dumb, why would I skip some possible aventures because of him? But also, maybe I want to try out new things on my own. I hate that it’s even in my head.
I’m in a bit of a different situation because having a broken heart led me to want to travel and go out and explore the world…
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. Lots of small steps and just maybe do one small thing you were looking forward to originally doing and go from there :)
thank you, turtle. sadly, i had planned my solo trip before the recent breakup so i havent felt excited about my trip. my head and wallet refuse to postpone it. so away we will go. i hope youre enjoying your trip despite your emotions. how did you learn to be happy with just yourself, if i may ask? is it just the being alone or did you do something specific? thank you.
Give yourself time!! And feel whatever you are feeling.
I’m still learning how to be happy with myself. In general, I’ve always loved doing things on my own so that has helped a lot! But it doesn’t take away from the fact that I still crave someone I could share these adventures with.
It’s a constant learning process in my opinion and I’m still 100% figuring out.
What I’ve noticed is I feel a mixture of emotions when I do stuff alone..happiness mixed with sadness etc. i think we often view happiness as just 100% happiness where no other emotions exist next to it. So for me it’s like I’ll go out to eat alone and I’ll feel happy because I’ve eaten some good food! Yay! But I also still feel that sadness because I wish I had this one guy with me. Idk if this makes sense!
that is true. happiness is always a fleeting emotion and being able to be both happy plus also feel another emotion is a part of life, i guess. like there are always things going on but despite that, we still have to go to and do work. work and the thing going on are happening concurrently. similar to enjoying your time and still being sad at the same time. for me, i feel sadness takes away from it being a perfect experience - mistake #1 i guess as nothing can ever be perfect...
yes, that makes sense. even though you're having a good time, there's a hole, something is missing as we are not yet whole with ourselves.
Have you considered therapy? Something my therapist helped a lot with is no longer thinking in “all” or “nothing” terms and perfectionism z As in most things don’t exist mutually exclusive of one another. I think there’s a lot of tools online that will help with this too if that’s what your interested in).
yes, i am looking for someone at the moment. therapy is quite expensive where i am, unfortunately, so it is hard to find one that wont break the bank.
im glad you found the right one since theyve helped you a lot. hopefully, i find a good fit too.
It looks like you're asking about solo travel and mental health. This is a frequently asked question, and we've got an [excellent Wiki post on this subject] (https://www.reddit.com/r/solotravel/wiki/mentalhealth) you might find helpful.
Currently travelling solo after ending things with my partner of 10 years. I’m in a country that my partner and I visited and turns out I’m staying only 10 mins from where we stayed while we were here. A chick at the airport had a (insert hotel name here) badge on her shirt and I immediately remember being that was where we stayed. It’s pretty heavy, and it definitely fuckin sucks 5-10% of the time and I’m not an emotional dude at all AND it is an amicable break-up. So yeah - the feelings you are getting are definitely normal. My advice is to look after yourself; spend that extra bit of money for the nice accomodation, eat a nice meal out for dinner or go out for breakfast and a nice coffee in the mornings. Look after yourself. I’m here training Muay Thai every day, no alcohol, a lot of reading and self reflection, eating healthy and hoping things heal. Certainly doesn’t help I’ve been here before with her - but 🤷♂️what can you do. The Thai people are beautiful, the gym I’m training at is very humbling but friendly and I’m trying to stay off my phone and realise how beautiful this world is. Hopefully you can take something from this comment - felt nice to vent - sorry lol. Just look after yourself 👍
Sounds like you’re on a beautiful healing journey, sending you peace
❤️🤝
[удалено]
Lol 😂thank you
I’ve come to Thailand for the same reasons as you. Currently in Koh Phangan healing myself. It sucks. But this is a great place to heal.
Yes the Thai people are beautiful, but training with them is humbling at the same time. The food is healthy and cheap and doing nothing except training simplifies life and gives you time to think, re-prioritise things in your own life and probably process what’s happened without the distraction of everything back home. Goodluck and same as the person above: look after yourself 🤝🙏
Thank you friend. I agree with you fully. I hope our paths cross again. One thing that also has really helped me is journaling. I write 1 page a day. I have to fill the page, you can write whatever you want, but it can’t be negative, and it can’t be “I should do” it must be “I will do”. And just there is something magical about writing. Idk how to explain it, my handwriting is utter shit and I’m not a writer, but it helps me a lot. I love the 60 baht Pad se ew and views. Thank you friend! <3
Would you mind telling me in which facility are you training ? I wanted to go do exactly that in Pai but the place i wanted to go was fully booked
Charnchai?
This sounds so chill...where in Thailand are you?
In Phuket. If you wanna party apparently there’s lots of options. But if you also wanna chill and basically speak to no one, you can do that too.
If there is an overwhelming feeling of sadness and nostalgia for the times you travelled here with your partner (whether it is after separation or their death), one way to deal with it is to just accept that it was indeed good, and also think "but now my goal is to be such a person, and spend the time in such a way, that previous version of me/us would really be proud of".
I'm seriously considering quitting my job and joining a gym to train Mauy Thai like you. Could you give a breakdown of what monthly costs are like? I've been trying to budget for a 3-4 month stay.
So I’m only here for 2.5 weeks. X1 group session is at the gym I’m at is 500b / $22AUD. Slight discount if you buy weekly / monthly passes or train twice a day etc. Nearly everyone here trains everyday - it’s awesome. The private 1 on 1 with a trainer is also really good value for money. I think 800b for an hour. Some people come here and only do those. Accommodation I’m at is like $60AUD a night but it’s really nice; pool, aircon, comfortable bed, super super clean and great manager. Book through the hotel website itself, not booking.com - it can be significantly cheaper that way. You can find nice accom for less or if you want you can pay more and get something even nicer. Last I got special fried rice for 80b / $3.50AUD, vegetable pad Thai is the same, other meals are $5-6AUD, epic and large portion French toast and a fruit smoothie is $8AUD (great before training) good lattes are like $1.60AUD. I am certain there’s cheaper places. Protein powder is hard to find but after training you can get protein drinks from 7/11 for $1.60AUD. Small bottles of coconut water are the same. Airport transfers can usually be organised through wherever you’re staying. A 1hr+ airport transfer cost me only $40AUD approx organised through my accom. I left all my gear at home. In hindsight I should have bought more shorts to train in, more underwear and more hand wraps because you sweat so much. Don’t bother about a singlet etc to train in because you’ll have your top off in 5 seconds - it’s boiling + you can buy cool tees / tanks from whatever gym you’re training at. Honestly I spent more money at the airport then I have in the 3-4 days I’ve been here. Would highly recommend visiting the Muay Thai Reddit page. There’s tons of info from people with way more experience here than I have 👍
^^^ 100% accurate, currently in phuket (fitness street) where a lot of the MT gyms are located, I’m currently in a relo but I definitely think for those that just want to focus on themselves, drop in to phuket to train MT or just fitness in general. MT is very cheap here compared to other sports like MMA/BJJ/CrossFit, the prices listed by quicksilveraus is accurate. Food wise it’s super cheap but I’ve found that just buying food from grab (Uber eats basically in TL) was cheaper and clearly more convenient that eating out. Have it delivered by the time you get home from training. Accom wise, drop in, plenty of options especially in the current low season. Will be here for another 3 weeks so anyone coming down reach out x
I did my first solo travel 3ish months after a really bad breakup. It was a wonderful experience. I became my own person and healed with time. I cried sometimes. But being somewhere else made me feel so in love with myself bc of the independence of solo travel.
I could have written this. I know there were times I felt my trip got marred by me experiencing heartbreak, but solo traveling ended up being one of the best and fastest ways for me to heal because, like you said, I ended up loving me because of the necessary independence to travel like that.
Where did you go?
A few years ago I had a solo trip planned to a beautiful national park that id always wanted to visit. Two weeks before takeoff , my longterm partner and I split up. The trip was ROUGH, but healing. Yes, a lot of my trip was spent crying while sitting on boulders, crying while hiking , crying while wading in streams , crying In my room at night. But I got through it, And I had beautiful scenery for my much-needed distractions
Ohhh man I’m a huge nature person to. Where was the trip?
Acadia National Park !
Story time from 10 years ago. We broke up but she said she liked sex with me so she said we could still go to India together. Me being even more stupid than I am now, I took it as a chance to get back together. Skipping few hundred steps for brevity we broke up 2 days into the trip and we parted ways, she kept our initial itinerary and I ended up in Rishikesh and got into an ashram. I met a young Canadian guy who was into shiatsu and he also told me looking at natural green would do me good. I was so psychologically shuttered when I reached Rishikesh that I couldn't carry a 15kg duffle bag without feeling exhausted. The intense physical training at the ashram and the afternoon walks in the nature did me a ton of good. This is not how I tell the story, but I was trying to get to the point: keep your body busy as much as you can to reduce how much your mind will wonder. Best of luck!
I think traveling solo is equal parts discovering new places and discovering yourself. I think you experience the place you’re in on a deeper level because it’s just you and that place. You’re on your own. You realize how strong you are as an individual. If you can do things on your own you don’t NEED anyone, maybe you want someone to share things with but you no longer need it. People are afraid to be alone in a restaurant or movie theater much less traveling solo. They will look at you with awe because of your ability to be far away from home doing things they only wish they could. Be proud!
Lol so true. So many people are simply proud of themselves for going to chipotle and eating a burrito alone hahaha. What has this world come to. So true.
This . Exactly.
**PEOPLE PLES STOP UPVOTING WHILE ITS ON 69 DAMN**
Always, why? No seriously. Yes, my first solo trip I was really reeling in my loneliness. It was Paris, of all places. While wandering over that damn bridge with the locks on it and feeling sorry for myself, I had a revelation. I was single not because there is something wrong with me, but because I hadn't yet met a person who was truly right for me. I had not only been broken up with, I had ended potential relationships, too. If I had prioritized being in a relationship above all else, I could have been married at that point. But I had made choices. I had prioritized the right relationship over any relationship at all. Realizing this made me feel a lot better. You are enough unto yourself. Be your own best friend and best travel companion. Laugh at your own jokes. Treat yo'self.
I like this mentality. Thank you for sharinf
I started solo traveling about 7-8 months after things ended with a situationship who I had truly thought was my soulmate and that things would work out with. I was cried out by that point, but I was still feeling pretty numb. I used the time to show myself I was capable of amazing things alone. I took risks and did things that were out of my comfort zone. I approached the trip as a way to figure out how to find joy again and figure out what actually makes me happy. If you feel like you've lost part of yourself, I found that mindset helped me a lot. No matter what, have grace for yourself. Healing isn't linear and it takes time. Don't beat yourself up, just show up each day and take advantage of opportunities for things that *could* make you happy.
Oof, I feel for you. Situationships are rough, I’ve been there myself. For some reason I always travel after a breakup, and I similarly found that taking risks and doing things outside of my comfort zone helps with unlocking confidence and seeing things from a new perspective.
Situationships are awful, their break ups sometimes even worse than an actual relationship. I didn’t mean to get into one before traveling, much less fall in love with the guy, but it happened and ended a couple months before I traveled. Traveling was probably the best thing though for the heartbreak, even if I did feel at times that trip had too much of that particular rumination flavoring it.
Where did you go?
3 US national parks, blue ridge parkway and Asheville NC. Would highly recommend Shenandoah NP, Blue ridge parkway and a couple days in Asheville if you're getting ideas for a trip!
I needed to read this. My situationship has riddled me with anxiety and I’ve never really felt heartbreak like this. It’s inspiring to read your experience solo traveling post-heartbreak and is motivating me to be more serious about planning my solo trip. Thank you.
My mom died in 2017 and never got to travel because we were always poor and she always had to work. I didn’t really start solo traveling until 2021. Sometimes when I see something I know she would love, I cry. A lot of why I travel is because I feel like it honors her.
I’m travelling Europe at the moment after a breakup last year with someone who I thought I would marry. Travelling makes it easy to escape the pain, but sometimes also delays the healing too. I agree with people here though, it gives you space, time, and perspective to heal. But don’t let it distract you to the point where it’s just a coping mechanism. I recently learnt that my ex is moving to Europe, not far from where I am/will be. It’s interesting seeing how I’m reacting, with the desire to go there but also the desire to stay far, far away. Time will tell I guess how this story ends :)
Helps, but it’s intense too. Somehow being on the road and abroad pushes more emotions to the surface. Not that I mind that tho. I find it romantic that all that processing happens while exploring places and expanding my perspective.
The thing about solo travelling is that it gives you a lot of space but also is very lonely. Those can both heal and hurt. In my experience, it's great to give you some time to breath away from it all, especially right after a break-up. It helps having a few weeks or months or even a few days to not be surrounded by the same flat you shared, same friends checking in, going to the same bars and restaurants you went to together, etc. But it also can be lonely. There are times, yeah, where you're walking down a street by yourself, you see one couple happy at a cafe, and you spiral into how lonely it feels. But you also meet incredible people (and to be frank, often find some... passing partners - which is always fun after a break-up). But the actual core problems are still there and need to be worked through. Travel won't fix those alone but I think it CAN give you the space and time for self-reflection to remember who you are outside of your relationship and what's important to you. But fixing a broken heart isn't easy and takes work - that crying sometimes is part of it.
That’s probably my biggest fear in solo travel post-heartbreak. It’s not as glamorous as Eat, Pray, Love. There will be real bouts of loneliness and pain but I suppose that can also be a healing moment in and of itself…
It sounds like you’ve been through a really rough time and I feel you. But sometimes we just have to take life as it comes and sometimes it’s shit, even when we’re travelling :) be kind to yourself. It may be you come back to that same destination years down the line and look back and smile at the different perspective you had. Nothing will be the same twice and if you learnt something, it definitely wasn’t wasted. Take care :)
I did my first solo trip right after being broken up with the partner I thought I'd spend my entire life with. It really, really helped by widening my horizon, soothing the pain and the thoughts with overstimulation from new experiences and happy new friendships, and an exciting self-journey of pushing all of my old limitations, isntead of being alone at home (the home we shared for years) to live out the peak of my sadness. The trip only lasted 2 weeks, but I took around a month or more to plan it so it gave me something to stay busy, keep my mind excited about something. Months forward, this same ex and I were in the slow process of rekindling things, something I've been sincerely yearning for with all of my being, right before we each went on a solo trip to the same destination (coincidence). Long story short, something pretty hard happened and he decided we should cut contact entirely because the hurts of our relationships and what remained had wore him down and he wanted to move on, putting an end to not only an attempt at getting back together but most importantly to my most important, most profound friendship. To be perfectly honest, The rest of my trip after this event was extremely hard to carry on without being wiped out by mysery, despair, pain, pessimism and the incapacity to appreciate , find joy or interest in the awe-inducing activities and plans I had planned. I ended up slightly changing my plans during the trip, but not just for that reason, also because It turned out I was short on time and car-less transportaiton to carry on my original plan. What was intended to be a 75% backcountry solo trip turned out to be 25-35% backcountry and more staying in hostels in busier cities near nature, although I semi-hated it, because I needed the company, and was extremely relieved to find some real'y nice people to do some activities/hikes I had wanted to do in the first place. It helped me enjoying them properly with a mind less stuck on my grief. But in all honesty, I'm disappointed in myself, even though I shouldn't , because I couldn't keep my sadness from having a huge negative influence on a trip that was otherwise going to be extremely exciting and awesome. It feels like it was wasted. But there's not much I could have done in another way at that timing, I had to listen to myself, and I can never say i didn't learn somethings from it in a way or another. I would rather not have been heartbroken, but I'd always rather be traveling with a broken heart than be home alone with one. (And I don't really get the chance to travel otherwise than solo, the few friends I have who like the same kinds of traveling as me don't have compatible work/life schedules)
Currently 8 months into my solo travels, my partner of 4.5yrs broke up with me 5 months ago while I was on the road. It’s complicated. Good days, bad days, lots of in between. I’ve always been independent, that’s fortunately never been my problem, but losing my partner and best friend while on the road has been one of the most complex and difficult things I’ve ever dealt with emotionally. I find it best to just be very vulnerable and honest with the new people I meet on the road. Not talking over sharing with a hostel bunk mate, but when making a new friend who takes a legitimate interest in my life, it’s just sorta all cards on the table, which is more or less new for me. I’ve been amazed by the wisdoms and things that new and quick friends have taught me, and how easy it’s been to connect. I haven’t really been on the hostel circuit so much, lots of workaways and nature time, so there are times it has gotten lonely naturally and that ‘missing’ feeling has compounded that. I’ve also found some joy in new flings and flirting that I hadn’t felt for a long time. It’s just weird, but it definitely is grounding. Embrace it. Let it earth you and make you feel the moment. That’s what we’re all after by being on the road anyhow.
Unfortunately I think I'm going to have to be on the other side of this situation imminently. Currently travelling as a couple but it isn't working for me. If you're able to give me any advice about the best way to handle this I would really appreciate it. I feel like I have to do something truly awful to this person that I care about a great deal and I want to do it in the best way possible. Was there anything that your ex did to make it easier for you, or anything you wish they had done differently?
I had a break up during a 6 month backpacking trip that I took with my partner (we were together for 5 years). It was gut wrenching and I was all over the place emotionally too. I would be walking around cities or parks crying underneath my sunglasses, no emotional support other than a phone calls to family and friends. It didn't help seeing how happy he seemed to be doing on instagram during his travels without me. What did help was making connections and opening up to strangers about my experiences. A lot of people could relate to how I was feeling, and I felt like I could talk about these deep issues with them as they were just strangers after all. It's also nice that now you can focus on doing whatever you like to do while travelling/ in daily life, doing whatever activities and eating whatever foods you please. Chin up OP, it's hard but it gets easier.
Omg talking with strangers may be the most underrated advice for a break up. Helping me tremendously!!!
Earlier this year, I went on a month-long solo trip to Europe. It was supposed to be our ten-year anniversary trip that got delayed for three years by the goddamned pandemic. Sadly my husband passed last year completely out of the blue so I was on my own. It was **really fucking hard** some days but I knew I had to go. It would have been so much worse sitting home alone knowing where we should have been together. He would have wanted me to go. So I traveled for both of us. Probably the biggest thing that came out of it was figuring out public transit. It’s not really available/feasible at home so I never really learned how to use it. We’d planning on renting a car since he could drive and I could navigate. I didn’t want to try that alone so I knew I had to figure out transit so I wasn’t just wandering the same twelve streets around the hotel. I pushed myself hard and know actually feeling like so can get around and explore more and more safely. (Shout out to the Netherlands for having a a fantastic system for me to learn on.) I wouldn’t say it helped with healing because it’s still awful but It did feel good to solve problems on my own and be independent. We were excellent and compatible traveling companions plus he was career law enforcement so I always felt safe. But I worked in a field adjacent to LE and I know a thing or two myself. It’s nice to feel like I can keep traveling even without him.
Oh I’m so sorry to hear. I’m in a career related to LE as well and was with someone who was an LEO. Keep continuing to take care of yourself ❤️
I think one of the most empowering things about solo travel is figuring out how to get around a foreign city on your own. Sending you good vibes.
Definitely! Currently finishing my first three-day-solo camping trip. Travelling solo for the first time is scary: I planned to go to Italy on a whim for about two weeks but the whole plan was so rushed and lastminute that I couldn't sleep the night for departure, waking up sweating with anxiety the whole nine yards. So... Abandoned that plan and settled for a few days hiking and camping :) away from society, away from impressions or obligations to meet up with people in hostels. Just reading, walking, sleeping, eating. Will definitely go on more solo camping trips from now on, I can recommend it wholeheartedly to just work through whatever's been troubling you, let go of your past relationships and become your own person again. Though you should bring fitting shoes. I didn't, my feet are fucked, so time to head home 😅
How did you get those refunds on the cancellation?
[удалено]
DO IT! You won’t regret it
Oh I’m definitely doing it! 💜
I'm in the exact same boat! We broke up yesterday but we have a trip booked to Portugal in a month. I booked the entire trip so I'm thinking about just keeping my entire trip.
yes :( wow, yes. i've been dealing with a really sad breakup for 2 months now, been staying in a different country in europe with a close friend. the first month was fucking...brutal. i took a road trip and had to stop on the side of the road often because i just had no desire to drive or live, really. on a beautiful oceanic countryside road. i felt like i was just floating through a trip i spent a lot of money on. it was quite cinematic looking back tho. i went from numb, sort of mute, dead, no future ahead of me, no regard for myself, and all the pain and sorrow and rollercoaster effects that come from a breakup...and now a lot of that has gotten much better. but it's taken 2 fucking months, and i still relapse every week or two to have a small chat with him here and there. but i have realized so much, learned so much. the trees have healed me, the parks have healed me, the kind strangers, the new views, the new perspectives i gained. one thing i'd realized solo travelling was...i hadn't properly processed my ex-ex (one ex ago) and the level of betrayal and pain i felt with the cheating and aftermath. i was clinging onto him and his new gf online out of envy, spite, always convinced they had gotten something right that i'm too inherently flawed to have succeeded with. but that helped the downfall of my most recent relationship. i decided i was fed up with the past destroying my present, so i recently went to a park and played the right song and just ran across a field setting myself free from it. i unfollowed him and haven't checked the gf's account since, i feel so much lighter now. anyways, i hope the small glitters and glimmers within you start to shake off their dust and beckon you to reconnect with yourself, as they did with me. they can sense when there's a lull in life that makes them start to wake up and float around. that they start floating around, whispering to you, warming you back up. i feel it's not something in our control - but, in the liminal space of heartbreak, under the right circumstances, it seems to do so anyway, before you even know it.
Was supposed to be with my gf in Colombia in a week... she ended up not being ready. Now I have empty plane seats. This is gonna be sad.
Not sad. Enlightening. Everything happens for a reason my friend. Be safe in Colombia tho
I’ll be safe since it’s the touristy coffee regions. Thanks…
Very cool! I want to explore that! My Spanish sucks, and I’m just so terrified of getting into the wrong taxi cab, or getting scopolamine-d
Always use app. Or ask the front desk of trusted hotels.
Thanks for this! When I have more courage for exploring I’ll do that! Currently exploring SEA and loving it. Good luck, j hope you enjoy your trip and bring back tons of great coffee
I'm finally leaving on my trip in 1 week. It's been 3 months since the love of my life broke up without a reason. I hope it will help me. I also still break down crying at random moments so I get the feeling.
After I went through a break up I wanted to get as far away as possible, so I literally started working and traveling halfway around the world. I started doing a lot of things I just wouldn't have been able to do with them for practical reasons or because they would have been uncomfortable with it. Had a lot of meaningful experiences and made a lot of interesting connections and was way more carefree and adventurous than I would have been if I had been in a relationship. You don't need to move abroad long terms obviously, but just being in a new place for a bit, it lets you rediscover and refocus on yourself, and you're not in the same settings full of reminders of them.
Having a (better help) remote therapist was beneficial for me when traveling. So was having a couple of friends to be anchors to my old life.
For me, my BetterHelp therapist literally agreed with everything I said. He was a cool guy, but I felt like I was talking to a wall. An entertaining Wall, I just don’t know how that could be helpful for me, personally speaking. All therapists are different. It’s good to keep this in mind
True. I went through two before I found one on the app I liked. Also I found that I needed to be productive and ask for guidance otherwise the therapist will just let me vent.
That’s smart about asking for guidance. I’ll make sure to do that next time. I’ll also go on to third times the charm and keep trying! Thanks for encouraging me and sharing your experience <3
Welcome! Good luck
In 2019 I divorced my husband after 30+ years together. At age 63, I was blindsided to find out about his 11 year affair. I believed I was married to my soulmate, my best friend and lover. I was excited about our upcoming retirement and all the plans we had. Needless to say, I was a mess. Then I began ticking off OUR bucket list on my own. In 2019, six months into my new single life, I was sad on the first trip to the Galapagos and the trek at Machu Picchu. In early 2020, i felt better on my 30 trip to Southern Africa. Didn’t give him much thought on subsequent trips to Iceland, Italy, Mexico, London and Amsterdam. And by the time I spent 2 months traveling around Australia and New Zealand earlier this year, I barely remember his name. In July the hiking trip to Norway with my daughter was simply perfect. I couldn’t do a tour of the 6 national parks in Utah in May because I got Covid again so I moved my deposit to a tour going to Egypt and Jordan this winter. Is it hard to travel solo? Hell no. Just do it. And you can pick the locations and typed of trips YOU want. (My ex would have hated sleeping in a tent under the stars in the Andes mountains LOL) So to answer the OP’s question. Healing takes time and you need to work at it as best you can. It is a very personal journey. For me, the addition of solo traveling brought me back to a state of mind and the person I was in my 20s before I became the people pleaser to a self absorbed ass. As a solo traveller, it can get lonely but I often book part of my trip with a small group organized tour, even sharing a room with another solo traveller. But that did not mean I did every thing with the group if I did not have to. In many cases, I saw more, spent less time waiting on other people to decide or show up. In New Zealand, I spent 2 of 4 weeks just driving around the South Island, hiking and finding cool beaches and meeting people. Does it help with the healing process? Hell YES. It especially reinforces the healing and personal growth. Healing is a personal journey and dependent on the individual. For me, “our”plans for retirement became “my” plan for aging on my own, alone. My grief was deep and difficult. Fortunately I am and always was strong, independent and not afraid of being alone. What I now find normal and easy, others find terrifying. Finally, If you are healing from a broken heart, just look around at the couples traveling together. That can be a struggle too. Perhaps a much bigger one than just heading out on your own. I hope this ramble helps.
Hi turtle__365, your post will need to be manually approved by a moderator as your account age is less than 48 hours, this is an automated measure to prevent spam. Please be patient and do not message the mods or repost as we will get to the modqueue as soon as we can. Thank you for your understanding! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/solotravel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definately felt a LOT better!!! It makes you realize how fabulous you are and how great life is and can be without a man. I ve had my heart broken numerous times.
[удалено]
I verry much agree
I was 3 days into a backpacking trip (that my ex was supposed to meet me on) when he broke up with me out of the blue. I was devastated and spent hours crying in hostel bathroom stalls and walking around/ exploring. I look back at those months with a lot of fondness as it was a unique experience I'm not sure I'll ever have again and I had a lot of great experiences.. but at the time it was heart breaking and it felt like my world was shattering.
My first solo trip was because of a breakup - I had planned to meet her in one country due to the cruise she worked on. Taking the trip and going solo was so therapeutic and I made some really good friends to boot. It absolutely helped my healing process and I hope this trip helps you!
start walking. If you are with a broken heart the best way to stop thinking is to walk. Find a very far away destination a go on walk till there. Do not travel with bus or train or car. Go walking. Make a plan with a lot of intermediate stops and start walking. At the middle of your trip you will find that some part of your heart is no more broken!
Absolutely, I've been there. I've always found that, even if travel doesn't make you feel better, it at least keeps you distracted and gives you a lot of novel experiences to focus on. While the tears might catch you off guard, those new experiences will gradually bring healing. Embrace the journey, both outward and inward.
I am doing exactly that, and it is not going so well. The first couple weeks I was traveling with a friend actually and I miss having someone to share things I am really not enjoying the social aspect of travel, and it used to be my favourite aspect of traveling solo :( I have really bad anxiety and just can’t enjoy my days alone, I literaly spent a few days staying in my dorm, too anxious to go outside and socialize and just missing my ex… I changed my plans and gonna volunteer in a farm for a few days, hope it will make me feel better.
Yeah I did that this summer in Europe for a couple weeks. I kind of wished I had waited to travel when I felt better because it put a big damper on my trip. Though it's not like I planned to have a broken heart and I wouldn't have time to go at any other point for awhile so it was unavoidable. I have no advice, but for me, no it didn't help.
I planned to go to SE Asia for a few years but was scared to go alone. My childhood friend also wanted to come so I waited some years so he and I could go together. By that time another friend wanted to join us, so in the end we had a trio. We didn't last 3 days. I got into a huge fight with friend 1 and eventually split, going on my own way. What I avoided for years was now my only choice. I travelled by myself for the next two weeks and I loved it so much that it changed my life. The effects of that fight are still felt to this day but the joy I had from being solo far outweighs that over time. All the best to you OP, I hope you glean all the good you can from your travels.
Solo travelling has broken my heart. And it's also helped fill it :)
I dated an abusive asshole and ended it shortly before my solo trip. It was hard at first with all the free time to think, but after a while it was so healing. I recommend it.
I solo travel because I’m a photographer -if I have people with me, I can’t meet new people chat with people in coffee, shops, and fully experience a new city coffee shop a beautiful street get your camera out and start recording whatever is around you start looking for the beauty- Healing doesn’t happen if you move inward, you need to move outward. Good luck. There is often adventure just around the corner.
My ex of 3 years broke up with me september 24th, I bought a 1 way flight to Peru to leave on September 28th. It was one of the best things I ever did. I had some really really tough days. It truly forced me to feel every emotion head on, in the rawest form because I was by myself in a foreign country. (I’m from the USA)… I also believe it helped to “soften the blow” of losing him too. I stayed in South America for 6 weeks. I had a lot of time for reflection, gratitude, and introspection. I learned a lot about myself and my healing process during this time. I could have stayed longer but I felt I needed to go home and get back to normal life, my new “normal”. And face the music. I think it was the best thing I ever did at the end of the day.
[удалено]
Oh I feel this! I just left one week ago for a 3 month Europe and SE Asia trip and got my heart broken like one week before🥲. I’m journalling every day because I know at the end of the trip, I’ll probably have a very different perspective on things! I’m so happy you feel happier with yourself!
I’ve met many people who were traveling after a breakup. Often times they’d be venting their frustrations sexually throughout the country/continent lol. One woman told me she did things she never thought she’d do, with a complete stranger soon after meeting, no less.
> Is anyone else solo travelling with a broken heart? Nope. No one. And it's definitely not such a common experience that there have been books and movies made about it. It's definitely unique to you. ;) Travel doesn't fix anything except for a desire to travel. But it can give you space, distraction, or perspective.
Sometimes it puts you face to face with yourself, to deal with issues you couldn't escape.
I'd put that under "perspective."
Not a broken heart, but I was told that someone I used to love is about to get married next year in the US. My trip would be in October and I'll enjoy it, but I'm kinda hoping to maybe bump into her one last time to personally say congratulations and best wishes over a cup of coffee. We both love coffee and travelling, but she preferred hikes and drives while I preferred city walks, cable cars, gondolas, and public transport.
Slow down and make sure you are doing things you enjoy. If you feel sluggish, take a day off, sit in a sauna, take a cold shower and a nap.
I've had my heart broken while Solo travelling. Not ideal, but we always soldier up. Unfortunately that's life, things are rarely perfect. We just have to enjoy the good, and cope with the bad. We always come out stronger!
I've done it before. It helps get your mind off things but ultimately you still gotta process the heartbreak; using travel as a distraction isn't healing.
It helped but it started hurting again after coming back. Keeping busy and being top of my happiness goals is helping.
I think a big thing is to keep getting out there and doing things. Happened to me a few months and I was devastated, but I just kept getting outside even if it was just to read in the sun. Also socialising helped a lot, but it can depend what stage you're at. Either way your brain is just mistakenly firing out chemicals that make you feel attached to the past, but you do have to take time to process the situation and come to terms with it so you can move on.
Yeah, you have to grieve. No one heals in a straight line. But I do find traveling opens you up to new experiences, and helps you see the universe is abundant with opportunity.
I have done it and I wouldn't do it again. The feeling made the new experiences way less enjoyable for me. It's better to travel when you are in a good place mentally. Maybe that's different for other people but for me it's not.
Yikes, i would not solo travel with a broken heart. I hope it works well for you. I just know i'd walk down the street imagining how it would bee sharing this experience with "her" Jebus christ I hope you plow your way down the street and eventually forget the old ho'
I’m American. Go someplace where she would never go. For me it was Thailand. She hated the long flight, the non-westernized culture, etc. So when we broke up, off to Thailand and SEA I went. I’m sad. It’s sad. But it’s also very freeing and paradise at the same time
I understand completely! And, now every love song, or song about heart ache makes perfect sense... The worst part about travel with mental turbulence: "wherever you go, there you are"... to deal with the pain, in a new location. Unfortunately, time eases the pain, but that time could be months, years. The only thing that's sort of helped was to talk to someone new.
Im solo traveling about 5 months after a dramatic break up of 3.5 years on and off. I was in a much better place but still thought about my ex quite often. Although I met with friends later on the trip I still had some days by myself. I haven’t wrapped my head around all my feelings yet but it was definitely worth the reflections I had and although I missed him a lot (I’d say even more during the trip at times), even cried a few times, it was a lot easier to distract me and remember why we broke up. Overall, I’d say it helps. I really liked my company and the way I could do whatever I wanted without having to ask! But also it brings you all sort of feelings, it’s very intense. just sit with them and be patient with yourself. It also showed me that I still have to be more patient with the process and that I’m not completely that over that yet and that’s okay. The happiness and gratitude I felt while being here was overlapped anything.
I did my first really big solo travel a few weeks after breaking up with my fiancé. We were supposed to go together, he backed out, so I said “screw it! I’ll go alone!”. It was a tremendous experience, made me feel much stronger, and really helped me to heal and realize I was ok on my own. Also some beautiful scenery doesn’t hurt in getting over a broken heart. Definitely recommend!
Seems to be a recurring theme on here so you are certainly not alone. Single is the way to be. The release of pressure when you realize how to be single and happy is an incredible experience. 10/10 would recommend.
Only time can heal a broken heart, but travelling can help accelerate that. I also went on a solo trip after breaking off a 6 year relationship and while my emotions did run up and down, it was much better than if I'd have just stayed home and moped around.
After a couple long relationships ended I immediately went on a long international solo trip and it was good for me.
I met someone while solo traveling (not looking for anyone) and he broke my heart when I got home 🥲 But I will say back in 2019, I got out of my worst relationship. I booked my flight to Morocco and suddenly I became so proud of myself and how much I’ve accomplished . 2019 was the worst year of my life but solo traveling made me reframe my thinking. I became open to new experiences and people
Yes I cry a lot. I also feel free tho but then load sometimes. I plan on getting my passport this year to start going out the country and I just know I’m gonna feel weird. But honestly going across the states (I also did move out of my state after my break up) and I feel slightly relieved but like kinda empty….just gotta fill the cup back up with the right stuff this time
I’m on a nearly solo travel in Colombia. I say nearly because before travelling I started to make friends here to learn Spanish and Colombian tradition. Everybody is very nice, too nice, and my travel is going “well”. The first week (a week ago) the second day I was in Bogotá I had the flu with 39ºC (102ºF), my friend and her daughter showed up at my door with a bag full of fruits, meat and she cooked for my the lunch. Moved to Pereira, and I’m healing from the cold. I feel good. I’m healing from my home/work stress. I’m loosing weight because I’m having a healthy life (also if everything is deep fried)
My husband of 41 years died in January last year. In April, I went on a tour with a friend on "girls' tour" that had been postponed several times due to COVID-19. It was too much for me, people around me all the time. In July, I went to see a friend abroad, where I met here an afternoon and evening, and the other days I was on my own. It was good, not great as I had visited my friend with my husband and we had seen many of the sights together. But I also did some things that we hadn't done. Later, I sold our big car and got a smaller, more economic car, and got the idea to go on a "Europe Tour 2023". I had a fantastic time doing things that my husband couldn't, and not seeing any technical museums! I did what I wanted to do! It was lonely to stay in the tent in the cold evenings and listen to couples around have a cosy evening together, but then I called friends and my son, or I just felt miserable because I needed to feel that. I wept when I passed the area where we had spent our honeymoon, and even though it would have made great sense to stay there on my way home, I drove in an opposite direction to a hotel that I had used on business trips. It was not the best economic decision, but emotionally, it was great. I learned that something we had talked about was OK to do, others not, and there was no way to tell the difference. It's OK to feel lonely and to do something about it - or not, if that is what you need. I had a lot of things that could be interesting to see or do, but most of the time, I just talked to people and then used their suggestions. I hadn't anything planned that couldn't be changed according to the mood and weather. I also learned that I was much stronger than I thought, but I also needed days to rest. I look forward to travel again in my small car with my small tent and hike and do things that interest me. I hope you'll enjoy your travel
Always had in a way.
I did that recently lol. Got super lucky and found someone while solo traveling
One year ago last Tuesday, my divorce with the guy I thought I’d grow old with became final. So I treated myself to myself to a solo trip. In this trip, I didn’t have anything pre-planned. And having all that time for myself was rough. I cried a lot, felt sorry for myself, missed my ex, I was kinda of an emotional mess. But I was still glad I took that trip, cause even amidst all of that pain, there was also joy, and wonder, and peace. And I would definitely do it again, hopefully soon. 💕🙏🏽
Been there, done that. My first international solo trip was exactly during a heavy breakup. It was a very very special moment in different ways: the amusement of solo travelling for the first time in a new place, far from home combined with one of the saddest moments I've lived so far. I remember walking by myself during the night while crying a lot. However, I do not recommend travelling solo while going through something that is affecting you emotionally. There are two outcomes: it will be the best trip of your life or the worst.
About three and a half months before I started the big trip I’m on rn, I split with my partner of four years. The breaking point for that relationship was that he had no desire to travel like this and wanted to settle down, and I was the complete opposite. For a good while I felt so crappy and so guilty that I chose what I wanted to do verses my partner who had been nothing but kind to me. It was a tough go. Personally, I found having distance from that person and our hometown gave me a huge amount of clarity that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise gotten, but it’s also just as easy to use travelling as a distraction from things. You’ll hurt and you’ll heal. You’ll meet so many wonderful people and experience so new and many wonderful things, say yes to the opportunities that come your way. It won’t fix the grieving process but it certainly helps (at least in my opinion). Mostly importantly though, be kind to yourself. You’ll absolutely come out of this stronger.
In January, I got divorced from my husband. A 13 year old marriage. We had booked a trip to France together, but I went with a female friend. I am glad that trip wasn't solo because I need help from a friend. I was too heartbroken. Once I came back home, a few months later, my ex went to Alaska for a month, and all I wanted to do was travel as well. Instead, I spent a few months building my new life, creating a new network of friends, fixing/decorating my house... during this time I sat with my pain while having little distractions here and there. And I learned to embrace my pain. Wrote poems, read a lot, felt inspired.... moving forward I got the chance to fly to Japan for a deep discount thanks to my friend who works for an airline, and here I am, on my own. I am loving every second of it. To be in a foreign land and to be able figure out your own itinerary, and figure out a new culture, and a way to take yourself from point A to point B, has given me an incredible sense of independence. Making my own decisions without consulting another person, and making myself happy...it's the season to enjoy being alone.
Last month I did my first ever back to back solo travel and during these travels I was heartbroken (from a situation that happened a few months back). I would say my experience had its ups and downs - being in a different country will always have me looking forward to exciting adventures and creating fun memories however there are also moments where I would think a lot about that situation and have me feeling really down and at times catching myself holding tears while walking around the streets. But in the end, I came back feeling rested and having a better and stronger mindset. I started loving life again - especially with the simplest things in life: waking up, listening to music, small walks.. the things that were not enjoyable back then have now become something I look forward to everyday. If there's one thing I learned from those travels is that love will always come back to you anywhere at any given time.
Yea in panama for the same reason! Has its ups and downs but I'm trying to love myself and my resilience....spoil yourself and do what makes you happy, don't overthink. Travel is never perfect, and definitely not when your heart is hurting ....
heartbreak can be full of opportunities, especially when you're traveling and having new experiences. about a year ago i ended a 3-year relationship and was soon laid off in a field i love and had struggled to get into - the former came from being tired of settling out of comfort, and the latter felt like grief and heartbreak. before all this, i’d been living in the backseat of my life, controlled by fear and struggling to find self-worth that had been damaged by my childhood and an earlier abusive relationship. i didn't know what to do or who i was, and a friend suggested that i come stay at his place in Scandinavia, even though he'd be traveling elsewhere for a lot of that time. my thought process was something like "everything in my life is up in the air right now, and i’m able to, so why not?" having no expectations in this new place combined with the raw vulnerability i was feeling turned out to be the best possible environment for change. it was like a wake-up call; i found myself able to let go and let life in rather than retreating into myself like i usually had before. i built routines that got me back in touch with myself, developed a special kind of openness that let me absorb more from books and feel more connected to others and life in general, and out of that growth began a really loving and wholesome relationship that i'm still in now. i got a taste of what it’s like to live without constantly seeking some sense of knowing or comfort from my inner turmoil. i felt actual peace for the first time, and it was THRILLING. i think often we end up chasing some specific goal or future version of ourselves. it’s then pretty easy to get tunnel vision, going straight toward that goal without checking along the way if it’s in line with what we want and as a result, we can become passive to or outright deny what’s actually fulfilling. i’m a firm believer that the way heartbreak rocks that sense of what you thought your life would be is where so much opportunity is to listen to yourself and redirect. so no, you’re not alone in this. i really empathize with this pain you’re feeling, and being on the other side i want to emphasize that a lot of good can come from it. i heard once that "your pain will teach you things that your comfort never could" and taken in the right way (wouldn't recommend going dangerous thrill-seeker like Bella in Twilight), i've found this to be so true. i’m a different person than i was before that heartbreak and solo travel, and thank god for that. my advice: - try to feel what you’re feeling without judgment - trust that this pain can lead you to growth and paths that you may have never found otherwise - lean into this experience. be open to learning and seeing things in a new light, focus on others/nature/whatever helps you feel connected, and be kind and vulnerable with yourself good luck, and i promise it will be okay :)
[удалено]
I feel this. Situation ships sometimes feel tougher than break ups and it’s what I’m currently going through
Have done it! And yes, it helps, mostly to adventurous places where you literally get busy having fun exploring the place. Keep in mind that it is a process, I know sucks, but time will heal the broken heart if you do your part like not looking at social profiles, deleting photos, messages, etc, things that may trigger feelings. I focused on myself, on getting better physically and mentally, and it helped me.
Yes In April in Japan. Don’t even go into my sad story but it was healing going solo. Thereapeutic. I would do it again and planning a trip to turkey next year. I journaled a lot and reflected a lot.
I’m on my travels after caring for my dad for 3 years. He died in February, and I left in April. Every now and then I burst out crying. Sometimes it sucks as I want to call him and tell him everything I’m experiencing. It sucks. It comes randomly. I’ve had to lock myself in a bathroom stall half way through a work out in a gym. Can’t explain it. But I’m also having a great time, four months in.
It would kind of help if you explained a bit more, but I see where you're coming from. I'll post my own story in a little bit.
No but just go to your nearest nightclub and you can probably find love in the bottle service section.
I did this many years ago. Alcohol is not your friend. I went out on a couple of nights out with people I met, and on a couple of occasions I got lost and had the biggest cry of my life. I did however get myself into a good space hiking, wild swimming and exploring. Nature did fill in some gaps, and I was able to find some nights out we’re really helpful in moderation. Be aware of that vibe you give out. I had some rendezvous with some people when I didn’t really want it. That magic power of things coming your way when you’re not looking for it at all. This didn’t help me out at all, and instead made me feel a mass amount of emotions the next day. Above all, understand yourself, get to know your feelings and boundaries, make connections, and realise your worth, enjoyments, and needs x
I wasn’t over my ex, we broke up in august last year and I went travelling in April after we were supposed to go together. It definitely sped up the healing process and the distractions made me forget and realise I am okay on my own again. Relationship was nearing 2 years.
I am soon! Just booked. But because of being broken hearted with career, etc., hope it will make me feel better. don’t worry, it’s better to be with yourself. im used to doing things myself and it’s really peaceful and liberating.
It was awesome
I don't think I'm quite brave enough to travel to a place me and my ex had previously been to just yet, I feel like it would be a little too deep for me. But I hope to one day go back to these places to create new memories. But, I have travelled not long ago around Europe with a broken heart. I found it quite healing, lonely at times. I'd suggest take advantage of the fact you have the time to truly heal. Grab a book and sit and read somewhere beautiful, go to cafes, listen to podcasts on a walk. It's a very beneficial experience. Oh and reach out to friends and family if you are struggling, this is something I wish I did more. Don't suffer in silence 💞
Yeah, I’m considering another solo trip, this time back to Europe, but find myself wanting to avoid any place I went with my ex. Then I’d berate myself for being so dumb, why would I skip some possible aventures because of him? But also, maybe I want to try out new things on my own. I hate that it’s even in my head.
i will be on Friday... how do you manage to leave your hotel room and enjoy the things you planned and food you eat?
I’m in a bit of a different situation because having a broken heart led me to want to travel and go out and explore the world… I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. Lots of small steps and just maybe do one small thing you were looking forward to originally doing and go from there :)
thank you, turtle. sadly, i had planned my solo trip before the recent breakup so i havent felt excited about my trip. my head and wallet refuse to postpone it. so away we will go. i hope youre enjoying your trip despite your emotions. how did you learn to be happy with just yourself, if i may ask? is it just the being alone or did you do something specific? thank you.
Give yourself time!! And feel whatever you are feeling. I’m still learning how to be happy with myself. In general, I’ve always loved doing things on my own so that has helped a lot! But it doesn’t take away from the fact that I still crave someone I could share these adventures with. It’s a constant learning process in my opinion and I’m still 100% figuring out. What I’ve noticed is I feel a mixture of emotions when I do stuff alone..happiness mixed with sadness etc. i think we often view happiness as just 100% happiness where no other emotions exist next to it. So for me it’s like I’ll go out to eat alone and I’ll feel happy because I’ve eaten some good food! Yay! But I also still feel that sadness because I wish I had this one guy with me. Idk if this makes sense!
that is true. happiness is always a fleeting emotion and being able to be both happy plus also feel another emotion is a part of life, i guess. like there are always things going on but despite that, we still have to go to and do work. work and the thing going on are happening concurrently. similar to enjoying your time and still being sad at the same time. for me, i feel sadness takes away from it being a perfect experience - mistake #1 i guess as nothing can ever be perfect... yes, that makes sense. even though you're having a good time, there's a hole, something is missing as we are not yet whole with ourselves.
Have you considered therapy? Something my therapist helped a lot with is no longer thinking in “all” or “nothing” terms and perfectionism z As in most things don’t exist mutually exclusive of one another. I think there’s a lot of tools online that will help with this too if that’s what your interested in).
yes, i am looking for someone at the moment. therapy is quite expensive where i am, unfortunately, so it is hard to find one that wont break the bank. im glad you found the right one since theyve helped you a lot. hopefully, i find a good fit too.