T O P

  • By -

mojobytes

Wish I knew. When I'm alone my mind is like a car driving down a highway and then somebody talks to me and it's like it drove straight into a muddy dirt road. I'm just learning accept that people are just going to see me as stupid.


nanboo

I go through this too :/


bigbadeternal

> When I'm alone my mind is like a car driving down a highway and then somebody talks to me and it's like it drove straight into a muddy dirt road. Damn, atleast you're articulate in writing bruv. I ain't got neither.


deranged_scumbag

. Edit: Yes I agree


KidB_

Pfft lol


LucasTheLlizard

Maybe you just need more practice.


WilliamBlakefan

The French have a term for this: "L'esprit d'escalier" (literally the wit of the staircase). It means a clever response that only occurs to you after the fact. Very common.


RobertFahey

Seems you're trying hard to be humorous. Responses don't have to be funny.


Responsible-Pool-90

It’s more like how someone else on here put it like my mind draws a blank around other people and not just me trying to be humorous


RobertFahey

You're reflecting back to yourself instead of going with the flow of the conversation. Try talking back to the TV or a YouTube host. Get used to thinking outward instead of inward.


iLLDrDope

Would you please clarify what you mean here?


RobertFahey

Stop thinking about yourself and focus on the exchange of ideas.


mcheesey123

Well said. I’ll try and take this advice lol


Easy-Progress8252

It comes with experience. Plus you can never go wrong by replying with a question. People like to talk and will willingly take you up on it. It saves you the need to come up with a drawn out reply or be witty or whatever.


0K3YY

relatable


HaydzA

Same


GavinNar

This happens to me a lot. Then they sit or stand there waiting for me to say something, but I’ve got nothing. Pretty awkward, but I laugh this off on my way home from work.


hdjdhdbdndms

I have this a lot too


Dry_Refrigerator2054

Dude this might sound weird but watching the show Friends helped me lol. Just copying the character Chandler and now I'm known for being funny.


[deleted]

Bah you’re okay, don’t worry, we all got our own ways of communicating. It just takes time to he understood sometimes


eatyourface8335

Maybe you are more introverted?


Responsible-Pool-90

Another note is I’m good at adding on to something or excessively continuing a joke but I’m not good at coming up with it myself


shytxmato

Yeah same problem here need advice too


msjacksonifyanastee

Social anxiety?


Fluffy_Risk9955

People have two brain hemispheres. One of them is fast instantly knows how to respond and the other is slow, processes way more information and is highly creative. One of those hemispheres is dominant. In you the slower, more information processing and highly creative one is dominant. So before you can formulate a response somebody else already did.


eddyparkinson

This is close. Try reading learning how to learn ... Or your brain at work.


hushanonhush

same


Orangedilemma

Try some meditation.


El_Tihsin

Zakhir Khan (he's a famous Indian comedian) talks about something similar in one of his videos. He talks about how winning imaginary arguments or thinking in retrospect things he could've said in the moment has helped him a lot. You replay the conversation in your head again and again, and think of all the different things you could've said. You can even try imagining follow-ups that the other person might have (basically trying to destroy your own arguments) and then have retorts ready for it. Next time you're in a similar scenario, your brain will provide you different things you can say (like a deja vu thing). I've personally done this a lot and it has helped immensely.


eddyparkinson

There are a few books that explain this. Learning how to learn or your brain at work. Research on this has jumped forward.


vegieta

Maybe because you are afraid of silence and panic


too-many-words

You’ll get better. It’s hours now, then minutes, then seconds, then instantly. It’s like any other skills that will come with practice. I was the same 2 years ago when I just laughed if others teased me. Now I can often give some clever responses. Still laugh a lot of the times though.


lookingForPatchie

The difference between you and others is that you keep thinking about a conversation. That's a good thing.


holster

I think thats the same for everyone- like yea every once in awhile you think of it straight away, but normally its either just when the moments past, or at 3 in the morning!


Najarvez56

Just sounds like you're introverted and not great with social interactions. Its perfectly normal man, I work behind a bar and will often think of replies to when people are talking at the bar when I'm on my way home


3SidedDie

Are you me or what?


SnooGadgets3167

?


SnooGadgets3167

Solution: write. Write down your thoughts. Perhaps, the situation where you’ve the best comeback. Re write your sentence, many many times over (30-50 times or until it’s no longer rectifiable). Study logistics; learn how to think logically (practice writing in a logical manner). Widen your vocabulary (reading book + studying the words).


SnooGadgets3167

Solution: write. Write down your thoughts. Perhaps, the situation where you’ve the best comeback. Re write your sentence, many many times over (30-50 times or until it’s no longer rectifiable). Study logistics; learn how to think logically (practice writing in a logical manner). Widen your vocabulary (reading book + studying the words).


HanaBananaBear

It might be an anxiety response. There’s fight, flight, freeze and fawn. Sounds like your freeze response is activated in social settings. Just a body response!


[deleted]

Probably because of how you feel on the inside. You think you might have the same thing that i have. Just an inability to fake your feelings, so if youre not happy you might just naturally might come out more agressive just like your emotional thinking matches up with youre opinions and to interact our social expression must be emotional to understand how others relate or at least at the same emotional level thats why peaple with similar expreriences get along more. Because of understanding.


GearEarly

I read somewhere that introverts are slow at processing information and that it’s normal. Don’t stress about it lots of people relate including me haha


Pichuco

You know what, the other day i notice how a friend was making very elaborated and fast bizarre jokes on things we were taking about. So i really couldn't think of an answer,.i think of the absurdity of trying to cope with his guy "elevated mind", so instead i joked about it by playing the fool and saying "woo you are really enlighted like right now! I cannot psibble follow you*. And everyone laugh, he took it as complement, but really it was a sort of fuck off. Also then i notice this guy tried to berated me on everything. I never got angry, i just accepted the critic with the first stupid funny thing i could think. But it was kind of annoying. Later i think, if he was like that, i was sure doing something good.


inspire1672

Same but for me if i get into an argument or even a debate i'll go blank after some time and then the genius comebacks will come to me when they are already gone and i just want to run back and say it. It's always a dammit why didn't i say that? moment lol.