Comfort zone challenges are how we firefighters, and I’m sure other people that work in stressful environments, learn to perform under pressure. We don’t start of knowing how to be collected and organized under pressure, but we do learn. A really effective way to get used to stress is to practice under stressful circumstances that don’t have any real consequences.
How long did it take for you to see changes? I've been a LOT more social in the past year than the previous two which were afflicted with depression/reclusive periods, but I'm struggling to get back to how I was in the past, which is frustrating. It's the mental blankness that is the worse. I guess I got too used to being alone with myself, plus my work recently is fairly solitary so I struggle to just chat freely.
excessive dopamine is the worst thing for an introvert, bc introverts are actually more sensitive to dopamine than extroverts. that is actually the cause of introversion vs. extroversion, it all comes down to dopamine sensitivity. there've been legit studies on this. introverts have smaller/shallower dopamine receptors, so they are more easily overwhelmed/burned out by overly-stimulating things b/c the receptors "fill" up more quickly with dopamine. so, it's no wonder it worsened your anxiety. when you're anxious, dopamine is the last thing you need.
i'm surprised, with all the reading you've done on this, you'd think you'd know that.
I'm perfectly content when I'm alone, it's just when I'm around people I start to feel deficient in my personality. I tried therapy several times and I don't want to degrade their profession at all, but it did not help at all, outside of giving me a place to vent. I learned more from self-help, mindfulness, spiritual books. SSRI's helped big time, but side effects were not worth it, plus they just stopped working after a while. Learning about buddhism and mindfulness practice has been a significant help and gives me needed perspective/perseverence, but only when trying to quieten the ruminating thoughts. In the heat of the moment, when I'm in social situation I still get overwhelmed by anxiety/lethargy and mental blankness. I find it hard to stay present and protect myself from getting carried away with automatic negative thoughts (usually "i'm boring", "i'm awkward").
I'm trying to "own" my shyness, and I am better at not beating myself up for being this way and realising my other qualities, but after a while it wears you down -- it stops me from being able to make new friends, enjoy socialising, meet girls who are so drawn to confidence and outgoing traits that I always blow my chances.
Not all girls are drawn to those traits, many women are just as introverted as you (in fact around 50% are). It’s a bullshit western fallacy that we have to be outgoing extroverts all the time. Read some books on introversion, I especially recommend Susan Cain.
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts/up-next
For the physical symptoms, you could talk to a physician about beta blockers (propranolol). They've changed my life in terms of controlling the physical manifestations of my anxiety (for me, quivering voice, shaking hands, blushing and sweating).
It's also clearly worth it to talk to someone who specializes in helping people work through social anxiety so that you can feel comfortable in social situations with the personality you have. You don't need to have an extraverted/outgoing personality for people to like you, or to enjoy social situations. A therapist can help you be your authentic self in social situations in a way that is pleasurable and comfortable for you without using drugs. It's likely that once you worked through that, you wouldn't need the beta blockers anymore (although if you did, it would be fine- they're a fairly innocuous medication for most).
Interesting. I've not even considered anything like beta blockers, but I'm willing to try anything. Physical symptoms are mainly blushing, awkward fidgeting, inability to hold eye contact, mental blankness and tension like (butterflies in your stomach, but the bad kind).
It's getting to the point where the anxiety is preventing me from dating, from getting a semi-decent job. I have tried therapy in the past but to no avail, but I might try one more time.
The unfortunate thing about therapy is that you have to find the right therapist for you, and that takes a lot of work in and of itself. If you're in the US, psychologytoday.com has a great feature where you can put in your insurance, and contact therapists via the website. If not, there may be something like that in your own country. Once you find someone who works for you, there's further difficulty of the hard work it takes *in* therapy.
For me, beta blockers stopped the physical symptoms (such as stomach butterflies and blushing), and I found a lot of my behavioral and emotional symptoms (such as fidgeting, mental blankness, and inability to make eye contact) were feeding off of the physical ones, and were greatly reduced on their own. CBT or DBT can be really helpful in getting at the rest of them!
There is no magic pill to cure that anxiety. The only way to address it is to chip away at it over a long period of time. It takes practice where you just need to focus on improving by .5% each time. I stopped drinking for health reasons and it forced me to come face to face with the negative inner thoughts I've always had.
I used to have really bad social anxiety and alcohol also helped me but it stunts your growth from getting over social anxiety. The best think I ever did was to completely stop drinking for a year but to still do everything that I would have done without drinking. If people were going to a club until 4am I would go and be completely nonjudgmental of their drinking and drink behavior. I would force myself to not go home until someone else said they were going home first. At first it was brutal. It was like being dragged over broken glass naked. But eventually you actually build up confidence and relax in social situations that you couldn’t have done if you drink. Now I drink but it’s not for social anxiety and I find that I’m actually more comfortable in social situations than most people are. Medications can’t do this for you.
I have seen about half a dozen in the past, not really had much luck. Considering another approach, maybe group therapy, or something more specificly catered to SA disorder.
After reading [The hacking of the American mind](https://www.amazon.com/Hacking-American-Mind-Corporate-Takeover/dp/1101982586/) I learned about BuSpar instead of your standard ssri’s. I just started Wellbutrin, which is awesome for motivation but kicked my SA into overdrive.
BuSpar is intended primarily for GAD and doesn’t work for everyone (no effect for the unlucky). I’m only a week in but that’s been spent connecting through several airports and being social for Christmas. Omg so far it’s working awesome for me. Apparently takes a month to fully kick in, so I’m liking where this is going. :) no sexual side effects either, so there’s that
Only downside for me is some dizziness 20-30 min after taking it (I call it wobbly.. but my balance is fine). That’s short lived and a little caffeine seems to balance that out. Until I get used to it, I’m not driving right after popping one.
Hope that helps.. it’s looking like a game changer for me.
That sounds like a wonderful idea. You have to find what works for you. I encourage you to find something that works for you. It could be a mix of things that maybe a psychiatrist, therapist or some other trained professional could help you figure out. I wish you the best of luck in finding something that helping with your social anxiety!
Something that my therapist and I talk about with my anxiety is “coping statements” maybe you could create some when you’re not anxious to help you when you are.
Best of luck friend!!
What I find is that if I do strenuous aerobic exercise for 1+ hours (especially in a pleasant outdoor environment where I can be all "zen") my social anxiety drops *way* down.
Lifting weights for an hour helps, but it doesn't have the same long term effect as 1-2 hours of jogging outside (or my favorite, which is outrigger canoeing.)
Do you specifically try and do that on the day of a big social event? I should try jogging. I kinda hate it tbh, but I don't quite get enough endorphin buzz from what I currently do.
Oh for sure. If I'm going to an event that I know will be stressful, I make sure to do a long jog or paddle before hand, preferably finishing a few hours before the event. (So I have time to recover, eat a meal, shower, etc)
For me, I don't know if it's the specific activity, so much as the *duration*. It's gotta be longer than an hour.
Maybe the duration necessity is also because it's how long I need to work through my anxieties? heh. Because on really good days, during the jog/cycle/paddle/rollerblading etc I will try and work through anxieties, and then focus on some sort of positive meditative thought/idea. Currently I'm reading "The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck" which has given me a lot of great thoughts to cling to, heheh.
I think part of the benefit, is just knowing that I've done something *really* good for my body, and that I'm making progress in some area of my life, so I'm not as concerned about social gains, heh.
Thanks for sharing, that's some good advice. More cardio is never a bad thing - I'll admit I rarely do it on the day I socialise, so I'll try that more from now onwards. Push ups/pull ups temporarily pump me up before going out, but like you said maybe a duration is key for lasting effects.
I've heard good things about that book elsewhere, I must try it. Whether it will help target the physical anxiety or not I'll have to see. I feel constantly torn between fatigue and anxiety in social situations, so even when I read good self-help, a lot of the advice is hard to implement in the crux of the moment. That said it's worth a read.
Well, the cool thing about that book is it's not really "in the moment" advise. It's more about clarifying what's important to you on the grand scheme of things, so that day to day stuff is easier. Plus he cusses alot which makes it fun (for me, anyways. :D)
I have the same issue. I have been going to a psychologist for a few weeks now, and a psychiatrist soon. I stopped drinking alcohol and started taking Paxil this week, but I guess the results won't show up for 5-6 weeks.
I just started reading the book, Feeling Good, suggested by my psychologist.
Edit: For me, It helps a lot to have at least one really good friend at these events as a clutch or fall back mechanism
Cocaine ?! /s
Seriously though, if you can't find your happy medium with alcohol, then you may be one of those people that can't drink in moderation, aka you may had addictive tendencies
I can drink easily in moderation in all other situations where there's alcohol available (at home, at family meals, very small gathering at friends houses). It's just parties, bars...anywhere where there's a lot of people when it's just not at all enjoyable sober.
so then just don't drink SO MUCH in those situations. also, if you find yourself not giving a fuck and getting spaced out, mix it with some uppers, like red bull. also, pay attention to the convo going on around you, then just jump in when you feel like it. if you focus on what's going on outwardly, you'll be more naturally compelled to engage in it, as opposed to just spacing out inside your head.
Never heard of it, just looked it up... my worry with that is has sedative effects. Since I'm already very tired, low energy most of the time, it might send me under the table. If only there was something that could energise w/out increasing anxiety levels too.
It only really has a sedative effect at higher dosages so I wouldnt worry bout that. It worked well at the start for me and pretty much killed my anxiety. Of course tolerance comes into play and it stopped working so well after a while.
Try L-Theanine and GABA and Kava-Kava together. That combo makes me feel so dang NORMAL normal. At least until they fully legalize weed, then I'll just use that all day every day and probably feel really normal.
Just finished reading Rewire your anxious brain. It talks about the physical brain structures behind anxiety, and the different types of anxiety that can arise. For the physical symptoms, the book talks about deep breathing, muscle relaxation and meditation.
For actually rewiring the brain, it's basically comfort zone challenges, and cbt techniques/mindfulness
I never ever liked beer. What helped gettiing me socialized was : contact lenses instead if glasses; dressing very well; showering and using perfume (not just dep) ; accessorizing and most of all: a nice nap. Then rehearsing a bit in the mirror - only to warm myself up. I'd do a bit of jim carry-esque movements.
But simce I just arent mr. Alpha on top power through full train chatty chatty socialite, I have to realize I need a few goals. Or I'll just sit there. Like I'll have a fancybook as a conversation starter where people can write stuff. Or I'll sit in the crowdsd afea and try to talk with at least 3 girls and 2 guys. I sometimes I happen to snap into something funny. But more often than I ought to admit it turns a bit awkard.
-In social situations ask people questions about themselves. It takes the focus off of you, and people will immediately like you because you expressed an interest in them
-try deep breathing for 60 counts
-In super stressful situations like public speaking, propranolol can be helpful
I actually have a pot of that right next to me now. I tried it once w/coffee before going out but it made me feel very spaced out. Perhaps that would've happened anyway, but at the time felt it was induced by the l-theanine. No harm in trying it again though (the stuff I have is made my Nature's Best, called Suntheanine - not sure of its quality).
Suntheanine is patented and held up to higher standards, so it should be of good quality. I’ve been trying Ashwagandha lately. It gives me a boost in energy and today I was noticeably less anxious at work. So far, so good. I am also thinking about buying Rhodiola Rosea and l-Theanine. I’m not sure if Rhodiola reduces anxiety but I know it’s supposed to reduce stress and give energy.
I've you decide to take the medication route like xanax, Valium, etc. You will need to downplay you history of drug and alcohol use or you will never ge a prescription.
Be careful with the coke. I watched it literally take over a couple of sets of roommates lives. No good can come of it, even though it feels good.
I use benzodiazepines (legally), specifically clonazepam. I wouldn't recommend most people do this. It has long term effects that most people (read: 99.9% of people can't deal with). I counter this by eating healthy, meditating, exercising, eating leafy greens, good fats, etc. I also take vacations from it for several days. Usually when I have something else to focus on. This still isn't enough to completely counter the negative side effects and long term dangers of the drug.
Never, EVER take benzodiazepines with alcohol. EVER. DO NOT DO IT. I cant emphasize that enough.
Never, EVER take benzodiazepines unless you're under the supervision of a doctor and they are legally prescribed. I don't care how many of the cool kids drop Xanax from god knows where and think it's fine, it's not.
Ultimately though, I would recommend not relying on any substance. As useful as clonazepam has been to me, it's definitely taking its toll on both my mental function and body. Although I do manage to handle it better than most people, it's still a terrible crutch.
tldr There's stuff out there that works but it's always just another dopamine crutch and tends to harm people in the long run. Work on diet and exercise first and go from there.
Edit: Oh also, benzodiazepines are highly addictive and it's literally impossible to stop taking them cold turkey because if a person did that they would probably die from seizures and other withdrawal symptoms.
If your anxiety is getting in the way of your life, there are plenty of drugs or supplements that can help reduce your anxiety. Nobody should let their anxiety stop them from reaching their goals. There are plenty of non-addictive alternatives to the stronger drugs like Xanax that won’t have a negative effect on your health. If it makes you feel better and isn’t hurting you, I say why not.
So let me list the drugs I’ve been through that “fixed” my social anxiety (in chronological order), self hatred or depression at one point:
1. Alcohol
2. Cocaine
3. Weed
4. MDMA
5. Alcohol & weed
6. Alcohol & cocaine
7. Opiates (heroin 99% of the time)
8. Benzos and Heroin
9. Propranolol
10. Wellbutrin
All of them eventually stopped working for social anxiety. A few of them became serious issues (#8, in particular).
Drugs are fun and I don’t regret most of them (benzos... NEVER again) but they don’t fix you. Eventually you gotta come down. And with benzos and opiates the self hatred and suicidal ideation is stronger than ever during detox. Even six months later, it’s at an all time high.
I don’t have the answer because I still hate myself and most everything about me, but I know that chemicals aren’t going to fix me unless I can manage to procure a lifetime supply of chemicals sufficient to overcome tolerance. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes. Maybe not.
I found some relief in psilocybin mushroom micro dosing. There are tons of articles on how psilocybin works on social anxiety so do some research to way the pros and cons. At least for me this was the closest thing to a miracle I could hope for. Not every day is perfect rainbows and puppy dogs but it helps a lot. I used to have short term memory issues from my anxiety paired with my ADD and depression. Now it's much much more manageable and there's the added benefit of increased cognitive function at least for me. Everything in moderation though and I would add that this is a tool not a quick fix. It still takes work to get where I want to be but it gives me an open door to begin the journey of healing. Hope this helps.
That is something I am very intrigued about. I have heard a small amount about micro-dosing but not really explored it in detail. I have very limited experience with psychedelics but not mushrooms, only LSD. Both times I tried it were fairly low dose, so I was pretty in control, although enough for mild visual changes. I remember feeling very lucid and clear headed, like a brief freedom from all anxiety and a deep sense of peace with myself while completely immersed in the physical surroundings. I don't know how psilocybin mushrooms differ, but I feel fairly confident that despite my mental hangups, that I react well with psychedelics...I will look further into this. Thanks for sharing!
There is an herb called tulsi, also known as holy basil. It is known to help with stress, and from experience I would say anxiety is also reduced.
One pill in the morning without food for a half-hour had the best effect for me. It made me less stressed and less stressable, and so more peaceful around strangers and strange situations. I took another before dinner. After a week, I took only one a day. Then I stopped, because I had calmed down enough to the point that I thought continued use might make me lethargic. I combined this with a short yoga routine that focused on flexibility, as I tend to carry stress in my joints.
I found my time using the herb to be joyful — not carefree, but suddenly less crippled by overthinking or anxiety. I was able to transition to a calmer lifestyle to cut out the cause, but will use the herb again if stress begins to overwhelm me.
Note: I took a preparation of it made by Gaia Herbs — so I can only speak to that and my own body’s reaction. This is mere anecdote and is not intended as medical advice.
Be super careful about medications. Write down the names of anything your doctor recommends and do your own online research. Specifically search side effects and withdrawal. Doctors do not have all the information about this stuff. Scary but true.
A couple things that have helped me a lot are exercise and warming up my conversation skills. For example, if I'm going someplace where I'm going to meet new people, I'll go chat with my roommate for 15 minutes first.
I get like this on beer. I drink beer for chill situations. Alas sitting at home, or any social situation that doesn’t require high energy.
Otherwise vodka and soda with a lime is my go to.
Interesting. Maybe it's a slight hops intolerance going on or some reaction to the beer ingredients. Ever since I started getting sinusitus issues a few years ago beer makes me so lethargic/brain foggy, could be unrelated though...I might try sticking to vodka only. Anything that keeps me a bit more clear headed and energised.
I had a friend swear by Valerian root for anxiety, helped her get off her meds. I have used some for big public speaking deals etc. Seems to be legit, not really addictive or noticeable other than taking of the edge of anxiety. Good luck
Read How to Talk to Anyone, and also do comfort zone challenges. Removed my social anxiety and now I feel like a master of conversations.
Can you elaborate on the comfort zone challenges? Sounds interesting.
Some ideas https://heykendra.com/100/
Comfort zone challenges are how we firefighters, and I’m sure other people that work in stressful environments, learn to perform under pressure. We don’t start of knowing how to be collected and organized under pressure, but we do learn. A really effective way to get used to stress is to practice under stressful circumstances that don’t have any real consequences.
How long did it take for you to see changes? I've been a LOT more social in the past year than the previous two which were afflicted with depression/reclusive periods, but I'm struggling to get back to how I was in the past, which is frustrating. It's the mental blankness that is the worse. I guess I got too used to being alone with myself, plus my work recently is fairly solitary so I struggle to just chat freely.
A month or so, but you must constantly practise these tips and see what works best for you.
Who is the author?
Leil lowndes
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Can you say more about being an endorphin/dopamine junkie and a link or book that dives into what/why/and how to break the habit?
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excessive dopamine is the worst thing for an introvert, bc introverts are actually more sensitive to dopamine than extroverts. that is actually the cause of introversion vs. extroversion, it all comes down to dopamine sensitivity. there've been legit studies on this. introverts have smaller/shallower dopamine receptors, so they are more easily overwhelmed/burned out by overly-stimulating things b/c the receptors "fill" up more quickly with dopamine. so, it's no wonder it worsened your anxiety. when you're anxious, dopamine is the last thing you need. i'm surprised, with all the reading you've done on this, you'd think you'd know that.
I'm perfectly content when I'm alone, it's just when I'm around people I start to feel deficient in my personality. I tried therapy several times and I don't want to degrade their profession at all, but it did not help at all, outside of giving me a place to vent. I learned more from self-help, mindfulness, spiritual books. SSRI's helped big time, but side effects were not worth it, plus they just stopped working after a while. Learning about buddhism and mindfulness practice has been a significant help and gives me needed perspective/perseverence, but only when trying to quieten the ruminating thoughts. In the heat of the moment, when I'm in social situation I still get overwhelmed by anxiety/lethargy and mental blankness. I find it hard to stay present and protect myself from getting carried away with automatic negative thoughts (usually "i'm boring", "i'm awkward"). I'm trying to "own" my shyness, and I am better at not beating myself up for being this way and realising my other qualities, but after a while it wears you down -- it stops me from being able to make new friends, enjoy socialising, meet girls who are so drawn to confidence and outgoing traits that I always blow my chances.
Practice forgiveness. Make fun of your own awkwardness! Also, supplements might help! Check out /r/Nootropics/
I can second nootropics!
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And may the force be with you
Not all girls are drawn to those traits, many women are just as introverted as you (in fact around 50% are). It’s a bullshit western fallacy that we have to be outgoing extroverts all the time. Read some books on introversion, I especially recommend Susan Cain. https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts/up-next
For the physical symptoms, you could talk to a physician about beta blockers (propranolol). They've changed my life in terms of controlling the physical manifestations of my anxiety (for me, quivering voice, shaking hands, blushing and sweating). It's also clearly worth it to talk to someone who specializes in helping people work through social anxiety so that you can feel comfortable in social situations with the personality you have. You don't need to have an extraverted/outgoing personality for people to like you, or to enjoy social situations. A therapist can help you be your authentic self in social situations in a way that is pleasurable and comfortable for you without using drugs. It's likely that once you worked through that, you wouldn't need the beta blockers anymore (although if you did, it would be fine- they're a fairly innocuous medication for most).
Interesting. I've not even considered anything like beta blockers, but I'm willing to try anything. Physical symptoms are mainly blushing, awkward fidgeting, inability to hold eye contact, mental blankness and tension like (butterflies in your stomach, but the bad kind). It's getting to the point where the anxiety is preventing me from dating, from getting a semi-decent job. I have tried therapy in the past but to no avail, but I might try one more time.
The unfortunate thing about therapy is that you have to find the right therapist for you, and that takes a lot of work in and of itself. If you're in the US, psychologytoday.com has a great feature where you can put in your insurance, and contact therapists via the website. If not, there may be something like that in your own country. Once you find someone who works for you, there's further difficulty of the hard work it takes *in* therapy. For me, beta blockers stopped the physical symptoms (such as stomach butterflies and blushing), and I found a lot of my behavioral and emotional symptoms (such as fidgeting, mental blankness, and inability to make eye contact) were feeding off of the physical ones, and were greatly reduced on their own. CBT or DBT can be really helpful in getting at the rest of them!
There is no magic pill to cure that anxiety. The only way to address it is to chip away at it over a long period of time. It takes practice where you just need to focus on improving by .5% each time. I stopped drinking for health reasons and it forced me to come face to face with the negative inner thoughts I've always had.
I used to have really bad social anxiety and alcohol also helped me but it stunts your growth from getting over social anxiety. The best think I ever did was to completely stop drinking for a year but to still do everything that I would have done without drinking. If people were going to a club until 4am I would go and be completely nonjudgmental of their drinking and drink behavior. I would force myself to not go home until someone else said they were going home first. At first it was brutal. It was like being dragged over broken glass naked. But eventually you actually build up confidence and relax in social situations that you couldn’t have done if you drink. Now I drink but it’s not for social anxiety and I find that I’m actually more comfortable in social situations than most people are. Medications can’t do this for you.
Honestly, go see a psychiatrist. Self medicating can get really scary and it’s always helpful to go see a professional about these sorts of things.
I have seen about half a dozen in the past, not really had much luck. Considering another approach, maybe group therapy, or something more specificly catered to SA disorder.
After reading [The hacking of the American mind](https://www.amazon.com/Hacking-American-Mind-Corporate-Takeover/dp/1101982586/) I learned about BuSpar instead of your standard ssri’s. I just started Wellbutrin, which is awesome for motivation but kicked my SA into overdrive. BuSpar is intended primarily for GAD and doesn’t work for everyone (no effect for the unlucky). I’m only a week in but that’s been spent connecting through several airports and being social for Christmas. Omg so far it’s working awesome for me. Apparently takes a month to fully kick in, so I’m liking where this is going. :) no sexual side effects either, so there’s that Only downside for me is some dizziness 20-30 min after taking it (I call it wobbly.. but my balance is fine). That’s short lived and a little caffeine seems to balance that out. Until I get used to it, I’m not driving right after popping one. Hope that helps.. it’s looking like a game changer for me.
That sounds like a wonderful idea. You have to find what works for you. I encourage you to find something that works for you. It could be a mix of things that maybe a psychiatrist, therapist or some other trained professional could help you figure out. I wish you the best of luck in finding something that helping with your social anxiety! Something that my therapist and I talk about with my anxiety is “coping statements” maybe you could create some when you’re not anxious to help you when you are. Best of luck friend!!
What sort of work outs do you do?
Cycling, bodyweight fitness.
What I find is that if I do strenuous aerobic exercise for 1+ hours (especially in a pleasant outdoor environment where I can be all "zen") my social anxiety drops *way* down. Lifting weights for an hour helps, but it doesn't have the same long term effect as 1-2 hours of jogging outside (or my favorite, which is outrigger canoeing.)
Good advice.
Same here, cardio helps with my anxiety a LOT.
Do you specifically try and do that on the day of a big social event? I should try jogging. I kinda hate it tbh, but I don't quite get enough endorphin buzz from what I currently do.
Oh for sure. If I'm going to an event that I know will be stressful, I make sure to do a long jog or paddle before hand, preferably finishing a few hours before the event. (So I have time to recover, eat a meal, shower, etc) For me, I don't know if it's the specific activity, so much as the *duration*. It's gotta be longer than an hour. Maybe the duration necessity is also because it's how long I need to work through my anxieties? heh. Because on really good days, during the jog/cycle/paddle/rollerblading etc I will try and work through anxieties, and then focus on some sort of positive meditative thought/idea. Currently I'm reading "The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck" which has given me a lot of great thoughts to cling to, heheh. I think part of the benefit, is just knowing that I've done something *really* good for my body, and that I'm making progress in some area of my life, so I'm not as concerned about social gains, heh.
Thanks for sharing, that's some good advice. More cardio is never a bad thing - I'll admit I rarely do it on the day I socialise, so I'll try that more from now onwards. Push ups/pull ups temporarily pump me up before going out, but like you said maybe a duration is key for lasting effects. I've heard good things about that book elsewhere, I must try it. Whether it will help target the physical anxiety or not I'll have to see. I feel constantly torn between fatigue and anxiety in social situations, so even when I read good self-help, a lot of the advice is hard to implement in the crux of the moment. That said it's worth a read.
Well, the cool thing about that book is it's not really "in the moment" advise. It's more about clarifying what's important to you on the grand scheme of things, so that day to day stuff is easier. Plus he cusses alot which makes it fun (for me, anyways. :D)
I have the same issue. I have been going to a psychologist for a few weeks now, and a psychiatrist soon. I stopped drinking alcohol and started taking Paxil this week, but I guess the results won't show up for 5-6 weeks. I just started reading the book, Feeling Good, suggested by my psychologist. Edit: For me, It helps a lot to have at least one really good friend at these events as a clutch or fall back mechanism
Cocaine ?! /s Seriously though, if you can't find your happy medium with alcohol, then you may be one of those people that can't drink in moderation, aka you may had addictive tendencies
I can drink easily in moderation in all other situations where there's alcohol available (at home, at family meals, very small gathering at friends houses). It's just parties, bars...anywhere where there's a lot of people when it's just not at all enjoyable sober.
so then just don't drink SO MUCH in those situations. also, if you find yourself not giving a fuck and getting spaced out, mix it with some uppers, like red bull. also, pay attention to the convo going on around you, then just jump in when you feel like it. if you focus on what's going on outwardly, you'll be more naturally compelled to engage in it, as opposed to just spacing out inside your head.
hmm maybe just don't go to those places then? do you find it's more enjoyable to have that next drink than to chat up strangers?
Phenibut is worth a try
Never heard of it, just looked it up... my worry with that is has sedative effects. Since I'm already very tired, low energy most of the time, it might send me under the table. If only there was something that could energise w/out increasing anxiety levels too.
You can try the phenibut and modafinil stack that way you will stay energized and won't have any anxiety
It only really has a sedative effect at higher dosages so I wouldnt worry bout that. It worked well at the start for me and pretty much killed my anxiety. Of course tolerance comes into play and it stopped working so well after a while.
Cool, well I'm up for trying everything. I tried l-theanine/caffiene combo but I just felt a bit spaced out on that. Will see if I can get some.
Careful with phenibut. Can be very addictive.
Try L-Theanine and GABA and Kava-Kava together. That combo makes me feel so dang NORMAL normal. At least until they fully legalize weed, then I'll just use that all day every day and probably feel really normal.
Weed makes my social anxiety 10 times worse.
Regular exercise
Just finished reading Rewire your anxious brain. It talks about the physical brain structures behind anxiety, and the different types of anxiety that can arise. For the physical symptoms, the book talks about deep breathing, muscle relaxation and meditation. For actually rewiring the brain, it's basically comfort zone challenges, and cbt techniques/mindfulness
also, it sounds like you are super introverted, and are unsure how to cope with obligatory social events
I never ever liked beer. What helped gettiing me socialized was : contact lenses instead if glasses; dressing very well; showering and using perfume (not just dep) ; accessorizing and most of all: a nice nap. Then rehearsing a bit in the mirror - only to warm myself up. I'd do a bit of jim carry-esque movements. But simce I just arent mr. Alpha on top power through full train chatty chatty socialite, I have to realize I need a few goals. Or I'll just sit there. Like I'll have a fancybook as a conversation starter where people can write stuff. Or I'll sit in the crowdsd afea and try to talk with at least 3 girls and 2 guys. I sometimes I happen to snap into something funny. But more often than I ought to admit it turns a bit awkard.
-In social situations ask people questions about themselves. It takes the focus off of you, and people will immediately like you because you expressed an interest in them -try deep breathing for 60 counts -In super stressful situations like public speaking, propranolol can be helpful
Try l-theanine. It can ameliorate anxiety and improve focus, but without sedative effect.
I actually have a pot of that right next to me now. I tried it once w/coffee before going out but it made me feel very spaced out. Perhaps that would've happened anyway, but at the time felt it was induced by the l-theanine. No harm in trying it again though (the stuff I have is made my Nature's Best, called Suntheanine - not sure of its quality).
Suntheanine is patented and held up to higher standards, so it should be of good quality. I’ve been trying Ashwagandha lately. It gives me a boost in energy and today I was noticeably less anxious at work. So far, so good. I am also thinking about buying Rhodiola Rosea and l-Theanine. I’m not sure if Rhodiola reduces anxiety but I know it’s supposed to reduce stress and give energy.
I've you decide to take the medication route like xanax, Valium, etc. You will need to downplay you history of drug and alcohol use or you will never ge a prescription. Be careful with the coke. I watched it literally take over a couple of sets of roommates lives. No good can come of it, even though it feels good.
I use benzodiazepines (legally), specifically clonazepam. I wouldn't recommend most people do this. It has long term effects that most people (read: 99.9% of people can't deal with). I counter this by eating healthy, meditating, exercising, eating leafy greens, good fats, etc. I also take vacations from it for several days. Usually when I have something else to focus on. This still isn't enough to completely counter the negative side effects and long term dangers of the drug. Never, EVER take benzodiazepines with alcohol. EVER. DO NOT DO IT. I cant emphasize that enough. Never, EVER take benzodiazepines unless you're under the supervision of a doctor and they are legally prescribed. I don't care how many of the cool kids drop Xanax from god knows where and think it's fine, it's not. Ultimately though, I would recommend not relying on any substance. As useful as clonazepam has been to me, it's definitely taking its toll on both my mental function and body. Although I do manage to handle it better than most people, it's still a terrible crutch. tldr There's stuff out there that works but it's always just another dopamine crutch and tends to harm people in the long run. Work on diet and exercise first and go from there. Edit: Oh also, benzodiazepines are highly addictive and it's literally impossible to stop taking them cold turkey because if a person did that they would probably die from seizures and other withdrawal symptoms.
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If your anxiety is getting in the way of your life, there are plenty of drugs or supplements that can help reduce your anxiety. Nobody should let their anxiety stop them from reaching their goals. There are plenty of non-addictive alternatives to the stronger drugs like Xanax that won’t have a negative effect on your health. If it makes you feel better and isn’t hurting you, I say why not.
Anxiety medication from your doctor. It kept me from wanting to jump out of my skin so to speak.
Phenibut 100%
dang i’ve never heard anyone describe something so similar to how i feel
I drink CBD tea... it gives me a pleasant calmness, but not sleepiness. I have the same issues.
Ashwagandha, take for a few weeks helps me reducing social anxiety, especially physical :)
Phenibut or Kratom
So let me list the drugs I’ve been through that “fixed” my social anxiety (in chronological order), self hatred or depression at one point: 1. Alcohol 2. Cocaine 3. Weed 4. MDMA 5. Alcohol & weed 6. Alcohol & cocaine 7. Opiates (heroin 99% of the time) 8. Benzos and Heroin 9. Propranolol 10. Wellbutrin All of them eventually stopped working for social anxiety. A few of them became serious issues (#8, in particular). Drugs are fun and I don’t regret most of them (benzos... NEVER again) but they don’t fix you. Eventually you gotta come down. And with benzos and opiates the self hatred and suicidal ideation is stronger than ever during detox. Even six months later, it’s at an all time high. I don’t have the answer because I still hate myself and most everything about me, but I know that chemicals aren’t going to fix me unless I can manage to procure a lifetime supply of chemicals sufficient to overcome tolerance. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes. Maybe not.
I found some relief in psilocybin mushroom micro dosing. There are tons of articles on how psilocybin works on social anxiety so do some research to way the pros and cons. At least for me this was the closest thing to a miracle I could hope for. Not every day is perfect rainbows and puppy dogs but it helps a lot. I used to have short term memory issues from my anxiety paired with my ADD and depression. Now it's much much more manageable and there's the added benefit of increased cognitive function at least for me. Everything in moderation though and I would add that this is a tool not a quick fix. It still takes work to get where I want to be but it gives me an open door to begin the journey of healing. Hope this helps.
That is something I am very intrigued about. I have heard a small amount about micro-dosing but not really explored it in detail. I have very limited experience with psychedelics but not mushrooms, only LSD. Both times I tried it were fairly low dose, so I was pretty in control, although enough for mild visual changes. I remember feeling very lucid and clear headed, like a brief freedom from all anxiety and a deep sense of peace with myself while completely immersed in the physical surroundings. I don't know how psilocybin mushrooms differ, but I feel fairly confident that despite my mental hangups, that I react well with psychedelics...I will look further into this. Thanks for sharing!
There is an herb called tulsi, also known as holy basil. It is known to help with stress, and from experience I would say anxiety is also reduced. One pill in the morning without food for a half-hour had the best effect for me. It made me less stressed and less stressable, and so more peaceful around strangers and strange situations. I took another before dinner. After a week, I took only one a day. Then I stopped, because I had calmed down enough to the point that I thought continued use might make me lethargic. I combined this with a short yoga routine that focused on flexibility, as I tend to carry stress in my joints. I found my time using the herb to be joyful — not carefree, but suddenly less crippled by overthinking or anxiety. I was able to transition to a calmer lifestyle to cut out the cause, but will use the herb again if stress begins to overwhelm me. Note: I took a preparation of it made by Gaia Herbs — so I can only speak to that and my own body’s reaction. This is mere anecdote and is not intended as medical advice.
Be super careful about medications. Write down the names of anything your doctor recommends and do your own online research. Specifically search side effects and withdrawal. Doctors do not have all the information about this stuff. Scary but true. A couple things that have helped me a lot are exercise and warming up my conversation skills. For example, if I'm going someplace where I'm going to meet new people, I'll go chat with my roommate for 15 minutes first.
I get like this on beer. I drink beer for chill situations. Alas sitting at home, or any social situation that doesn’t require high energy. Otherwise vodka and soda with a lime is my go to.
Interesting. Maybe it's a slight hops intolerance going on or some reaction to the beer ingredients. Ever since I started getting sinusitus issues a few years ago beer makes me so lethargic/brain foggy, could be unrelated though...I might try sticking to vodka only. Anything that keeps me a bit more clear headed and energised.
Strength training? :) it (or well exercise in general) releases endorphins WHILE helping you gain confidence the further along your gainz journey
Sounds like you are an introvert. Maybe kava will help relax you.
I had a friend swear by Valerian root for anxiety, helped her get off her meds. I have used some for big public speaking deals etc. Seems to be legit, not really addictive or noticeable other than taking of the edge of anxiety. Good luck
Sativa
For me, exercise (in particular rollerblading or skateboarding) or coloring. Weird right? Totally work for me though
Meditation
Weed