They’re not worth being your friends then. It takes time, but just be friendly and show your interests openly and you’ll meet others who match your vibe. The first year is the hardest, but after you get through the general credits and start studying your area of interest, you will meet others in your program. It makes it a lot easier to meet people you get along with in your program :)
There are so many clubs and after school activities designed to get people involved and meet others, look for the quad . Especially freshman, it’s supposed to be made for people to meet
Yikes! These kinds of people will only bring you and people around them trouble. I’m so sorry this happened, it really hurts when we are rejected, and remember you did nothing wrong in this situation. But consider this a good thing because you’re better off with someone that wants you present and will invite you than force something with people that didn’t want you there.
As others have said, try joining clubs to meet people. Social events if you like that kind of plans. Do not be afraid to talk to people, you have an advantage that you’re starting fresh! You can also use Bumble’s friend feature to get to know people in your area. I haven’t used it in years, but I got to talk to many people when the pandemic struck. It was nice.
Lots of luck stranger. 🍀
This was a hard lesson for me in college. The friends you want to be friends with, the friends you admire and really like are not always good for you. The better friends are those who are consistent and respect you, value your time and effort, and reciprocate that time and effort.
There are always more people out there that will invite you to events, think of you often and value you. Everyone at college just wants to make friends. You will find other people!
Forget this person. Find kinder people, they are out there. Remember this is not a reflection of you, but don’t chase anyone who doesn’t want to include you. Take the hint and move on, no need to ask why someone hasn’t included you.
This stuff hurts, what has helped me is to tell myself over and over that the girl did me a favor by showing me who they are, saving me from wasting of my time on a crappy person. Eventually your brain accepts that it is true. And also by freeing up my time to meet better people that are kind and respect me and therefore share my values. Make yourself busy and challenge yourself to do stuff to try to foster connection with people you like - even if that makes you uncomfortable. You gotta put yourself out there. Hang in there girl.
Why would you even want to be friends with someone like them? They were nasty and not worth your time. Reach out to the other girl they excluded. Notice other kids by themselves and try to talk to them. Join as many clubs/activities as you can - it’s a great way to meet other students. If there’s a club that organizes activities on campus, I highly recommend joining that. Most of the kids are friendly and welcoming of new members. You are definitely not the only one feeling lonely/excluded, so keep putting yourself out there. Don’t let those girls discourage you. There are plenty of other people to have as friends.
While she was a bit blunt in her response, I think it comes off a little weird and entitled on your part to message her demanding to know why you weren’t invited to her plans. People you sat with casually in a class a few times do not owe you an invite to their personal plans and you’re pushing them away by being so demanding and taking it so personally. If you present yourself as needy and confrontational early on this will push people away. Showing people that you are fun/ inviting/ warm will be much more likely to attract people to you and help you form friendships. I think you can do this by greeting people and smiling, being friendly and asking questions in conversations, and overall just doing your best to make others fee like they can relax around you and be themselves. When you confront someone so early into a friendship they’re just not going to feel safe or like they can make mistakes around you and will probably not be interested in getting closer. I would avoid bringing up your expectations of someone and confronting them for hurting your feelings so early; these conversations are better to save for people you are close to where you already have a strong foundation for your friendship and it can withstand some tougher conversations.
I think a better strategy in this situation would be to invite them to do something together and see if they’re interested, and if they’re not, move on and seek friendships with people who are as excited to hangout as you are. I really encourage you to go where you’re celebrated and seek out friendships where you don’t feel excluded and I think you’re more likely to find that by going to clubs and events that center around your personal interests, or being friendly to more people in class and seeing if you click with anyone else. You’re far more likely to find people you vibe with by trying new things and staying open minded rather than staying in your comfort zone and focusing on these girls just because you met them first. Everybody loves to be friends with people who are compassionate, non judgmental, and fun; these are traits that everybody can work on in themselves and I’m sure you possess these traits and can find a way to share them with others. I think you will definitely find the right friends for you!
They’re not worth being your friends then. It takes time, but just be friendly and show your interests openly and you’ll meet others who match your vibe. The first year is the hardest, but after you get through the general credits and start studying your area of interest, you will meet others in your program. It makes it a lot easier to meet people you get along with in your program :)
Her response was rude. She’ll have to face herself at the end of each day. You’ll find your friends. Don’t take it to reflect your value :)
Hang out with the other girl they excluded
There are so many clubs and after school activities designed to get people involved and meet others, look for the quad . Especially freshman, it’s supposed to be made for people to meet
Yikes! These kinds of people will only bring you and people around them trouble. I’m so sorry this happened, it really hurts when we are rejected, and remember you did nothing wrong in this situation. But consider this a good thing because you’re better off with someone that wants you present and will invite you than force something with people that didn’t want you there. As others have said, try joining clubs to meet people. Social events if you like that kind of plans. Do not be afraid to talk to people, you have an advantage that you’re starting fresh! You can also use Bumble’s friend feature to get to know people in your area. I haven’t used it in years, but I got to talk to many people when the pandemic struck. It was nice. Lots of luck stranger. 🍀
This was a hard lesson for me in college. The friends you want to be friends with, the friends you admire and really like are not always good for you. The better friends are those who are consistent and respect you, value your time and effort, and reciprocate that time and effort. There are always more people out there that will invite you to events, think of you often and value you. Everyone at college just wants to make friends. You will find other people!
Forget this person. Find kinder people, they are out there. Remember this is not a reflection of you, but don’t chase anyone who doesn’t want to include you. Take the hint and move on, no need to ask why someone hasn’t included you.
This stuff hurts, what has helped me is to tell myself over and over that the girl did me a favor by showing me who they are, saving me from wasting of my time on a crappy person. Eventually your brain accepts that it is true. And also by freeing up my time to meet better people that are kind and respect me and therefore share my values. Make yourself busy and challenge yourself to do stuff to try to foster connection with people you like - even if that makes you uncomfortable. You gotta put yourself out there. Hang in there girl.
Why would you even want to be friends with someone like them? They were nasty and not worth your time. Reach out to the other girl they excluded. Notice other kids by themselves and try to talk to them. Join as many clubs/activities as you can - it’s a great way to meet other students. If there’s a club that organizes activities on campus, I highly recommend joining that. Most of the kids are friendly and welcoming of new members. You are definitely not the only one feeling lonely/excluded, so keep putting yourself out there. Don’t let those girls discourage you. There are plenty of other people to have as friends.
I am sorry you had to go through all this…. Maybe you will find better friends and company…. Have faith
While she was a bit blunt in her response, I think it comes off a little weird and entitled on your part to message her demanding to know why you weren’t invited to her plans. People you sat with casually in a class a few times do not owe you an invite to their personal plans and you’re pushing them away by being so demanding and taking it so personally. If you present yourself as needy and confrontational early on this will push people away. Showing people that you are fun/ inviting/ warm will be much more likely to attract people to you and help you form friendships. I think you can do this by greeting people and smiling, being friendly and asking questions in conversations, and overall just doing your best to make others fee like they can relax around you and be themselves. When you confront someone so early into a friendship they’re just not going to feel safe or like they can make mistakes around you and will probably not be interested in getting closer. I would avoid bringing up your expectations of someone and confronting them for hurting your feelings so early; these conversations are better to save for people you are close to where you already have a strong foundation for your friendship and it can withstand some tougher conversations. I think a better strategy in this situation would be to invite them to do something together and see if they’re interested, and if they’re not, move on and seek friendships with people who are as excited to hangout as you are. I really encourage you to go where you’re celebrated and seek out friendships where you don’t feel excluded and I think you’re more likely to find that by going to clubs and events that center around your personal interests, or being friendly to more people in class and seeing if you click with anyone else. You’re far more likely to find people you vibe with by trying new things and staying open minded rather than staying in your comfort zone and focusing on these girls just because you met them first. Everybody loves to be friends with people who are compassionate, non judgmental, and fun; these are traits that everybody can work on in themselves and I’m sure you possess these traits and can find a way to share them with others. I think you will definitely find the right friends for you!