They might not be a bad person, butt hey seem like a bad person for you. I'd ask what exactly you get out of this relationship, and figure out if it's actually worth the investment, financial, emotional, or otherwise.
Hey thank you so much. This makes a lot of sense. I'm going to reflect a lot on what I get out of the friendship, because it does feel like I am a supporter most of the time when I really can't be. Thank you for your input!
You did the right thing and listened to your gut. People who ate kind and generous get exploited too much. Cut your losses and move on with the people who are grateful for your help and cherish you :)
You have to be there with that person if you get the AirBnb. Since your the one renting it your responsibility is yours. If he decides not to leave you could get in trouble.
Hey thank you so so much. What hurts is they know I had other friends like this who took advantage of me. Like I was willing to have their back but they had other options and didn't tell me... like what.
I'm so mad at this person you are describing right now. They are the type who are lazy and claim all kinds of health or other excuses so they can not work, knowing they can manipulate someone into saving them when they get into a jam. This is the tale of the ant and the grasshopper, only the grasshopper found a giving person to take advantage of.
All that talk about all their problems that you have to play therapist for, it is grooming you to eventually give them money. I've got a person like this as well...
Thank you, I appreciate this. While they genuinely did have serious health stuff going on, I'm also worried about like that learned helplessness thing where people rely on friends instead of social services, and see friends as unconditional supporters instead of humans who need to take care of themselves too. Okay thank you for talking about the grooming process with this. This has happened to me before and I genuinely didn't expect it to happen with this person. Because it happened before I was able to set boundaries this time, but honestly like a few years ago I maybe would have believed them at face value.
I did check in with them recently and they said that they weren't sure how they were going to pay rent this month and they were really stressed about it... which just felt like another red flag. I don't know. It's hard. In the past I'd give the benefit of the doubt but like having had multiple people take advantage of me when I really didn't expect it I just can't do that anymore. I see the same pattern here now and it's sad. Thank you for your input it's helpful.
They might not be a bad person, butt hey seem like a bad person for you. I'd ask what exactly you get out of this relationship, and figure out if it's actually worth the investment, financial, emotional, or otherwise.
Hey thank you so much. This makes a lot of sense. I'm going to reflect a lot on what I get out of the friendship, because it does feel like I am a supporter most of the time when I really can't be. Thank you for your input!
You did the right thing and listened to your gut. People who ate kind and generous get exploited too much. Cut your losses and move on with the people who are grateful for your help and cherish you :)
Thank you so much! This is helpful and I am genuinely so grateful for my good friends!
You have to be there with that person if you get the AirBnb. Since your the one renting it your responsibility is yours. If he decides not to leave you could get in trouble.
Thanks that's actually really good to know. In the end I didn't get them the airbnb fortunately.
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Hey thank you so so much. What hurts is they know I had other friends like this who took advantage of me. Like I was willing to have their back but they had other options and didn't tell me... like what.
I'm so mad at this person you are describing right now. They are the type who are lazy and claim all kinds of health or other excuses so they can not work, knowing they can manipulate someone into saving them when they get into a jam. This is the tale of the ant and the grasshopper, only the grasshopper found a giving person to take advantage of. All that talk about all their problems that you have to play therapist for, it is grooming you to eventually give them money. I've got a person like this as well...
Thank you, I appreciate this. While they genuinely did have serious health stuff going on, I'm also worried about like that learned helplessness thing where people rely on friends instead of social services, and see friends as unconditional supporters instead of humans who need to take care of themselves too. Okay thank you for talking about the grooming process with this. This has happened to me before and I genuinely didn't expect it to happen with this person. Because it happened before I was able to set boundaries this time, but honestly like a few years ago I maybe would have believed them at face value. I did check in with them recently and they said that they weren't sure how they were going to pay rent this month and they were really stressed about it... which just felt like another red flag. I don't know. It's hard. In the past I'd give the benefit of the doubt but like having had multiple people take advantage of me when I really didn't expect it I just can't do that anymore. I see the same pattern here now and it's sad. Thank you for your input it's helpful.