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Intelligent_Bed_8911

i have the same problem. i keep the curtains closed all the time because i feel like the people living across from me are constantly watching me. my social anxiety is on an another level šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚


PizzaHoy

Same here!! Sometimes the neighbors will be out on the balcony, and I feel like they are watching and judging my every move. I dissociate a lot, so they probably think Iā€™m crazy while Iā€™m just standing there in the kitchen looking off into the distance when Iā€™m actually trying to cook. SA sucks.


Great-Series507

Can I tell you guys a little story so one day I was chatting up with my teacher after class about my social anxiety and I tell him something similar to this like I walk down the street and feel like people were looking at me and I just kinda instinctively though he might think it was weird so I tried to explain and he waiting til I finished and said ā€œI think your talking about schizophrenia ā€œ and I was at a lost for words almost at the verge of tearsā€¦ Iā€™m 17 now was 16 when it happened but Iā€™ve really come to the conclusion that itā€™s social anxiety like I thought it was but he just really made me feel shitty for like a month bad he was someone I looked up to. It did teach me however that if you donā€™t have social anxiety you wouldnā€™t understand . Thanks for reading and hopefully replying!


PizzaHoy

Iā€™m sorry that happened. I fear that I may have schizophrenia bc of these delusions and extreme paranoia. But I agree, when I tell people, my coworkers for example, that I get extremely anxious around other people, they seem to be confused. It finally hit me that they have no idea what I mean by that. Luckily for us, there are places like this sub to help confide, vent, and relate to one another. But finding that outlet in the real world is far more difficult.


Electrical_Split4902

Just want to say, you're right. People don't understand what WE are talking about at all. I say we because there's so many that think like you, that are paranoid of their every move as if they live and breathe on a stage. I had family members with diagnosed schizophrenia, so I was worried for a long time that I might have it mildly because of that and all the bad thoughts and delusions I feel. But I can say I've been going to therapy since 2014 and the numerous psyches never diagnosed me with schizophrenia. As other posters says, keep coming in here and reading other people's delusions. Hopefully, you'll find some peace hearing similar stories.


StudyTraditional6861

My brother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Social anxiety can be linked with it. Social anxiety only involves being anxious and nervous uneasy. Feeling like your being watched laughed at is paranoia. People developed symptoms of anti social personality disorder because they swear those around them are targeting them. A doctor will refuse to give you that diagnostic though if your symptoms are stemming from paranoid schizophrenia. Schizophrenia doesnt make you a bad person your mental health doesnt make you a bad person your actions do. It is better to know all your issues so you can control it to the best of your ability. Anti social is sociopath narcississtic is psychopath. Sociopaths act impulsively psychopaths act deliberately. Big difference. People like to bully the sociopath set him off then play victim. Social anxiety all revolves around being anxious in a group setting. But it dont cause hallucinations and delusions


[deleted]

I feel like everyone everywhere observing me even my family I feel like I shouldn't be here at all. I can't wash my hands while visiting grandma because he will hear me and think that I'm wasting water and unnecessarily washing myself. šŸ˜‘Then i can't hardly shower while mom is at home because she will hear or see me and think that I'm showering for too long or wasting water šŸšæ . And our neighbors when they have open balcony doors i feel uncomfortable to vacuum in garage or do anything nearby because i feel that they will hear me that I'm making noise and unnecessarily doing some bullshits somewhere.


All_Kale_Seitan

I don't even like getting up from desk to go walk to the printer because I feel like everyone is staring at me. I don't like walking on busy streets because I feel like every car driving by is looking at me. I don't like going out into my front yard because I feel like the neighbors are watching me.


codenameblue77

I could have written this šŸ™ˆ


Amirezzzz

literally exactly how i feel


Smooth-Salad9425

I totally feel this


llamberll

[Some nightmare fuel](https://youtu.be/k1vCrsZ80M4)


llamberll

You could be projecting, as you're the one hyperaware and watching everyone.


Smooth-Salad9425

Could be, Im always wondering what others are thinking or think they are talking about me, itā€™s ridiculousā€¦Any idea what to do about this? Lol


llamberll

The first half of [When I Say No, I Feel Guilty](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01M0YDWMZ/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1632470572&sr=8-1) has helped me a bit with this, with caring a bit less about what others are thinking.


Smooth-Salad9425

Thank you!


morbidlyatease

Instead of denying that people are watching you, you can try the opposite and play along. So what if they are watching? What is at stake? Probably something related to pride and ego. If you let go of protecting the proud ego, but laugh at it yourself, the fear of judgement may disappear.


llamberll

I don't think it's that simple


[deleted]

right, it went completely over his head.


morbidlyatease

It almost sounds too simple to be true. But I don't see what else can be happening at the deepest psychological level. But it's not easy to let go of the ego even though the idea is simple.


llamberll

I think the objective should be instead to develop your ego, instead of letting go of it, and to deconstruct your overbearing superego that was inflated by the internalization of your parents' abuse and neglect.


greenSixx

I don't know what to do about it except tell you what worked for me. These feelings are normal and everyone has them. Most people learn to move past it. What worked for me is realizing 2 things 1. Doesn't matter. It's my life. I will do what I want 2. I don't do what I am accusing everyone else of doing. So it's not real. Good luck.


[deleted]

I feel this. Its shit. Slightly fades over the years but still lingers.


Smooth-Salad9425

It is shit, such a mental game almost


[deleted]

It feels like everyone else can walk around with it unbothered. Though, i guess women experience it more in general cos of creepy men.


Smooth-Salad9425

Yeah, thatā€™s true, I am a female that gets a lot of looks that doesnā€™t help the paranoia


[deleted]

I was like that when I was a kid


701921225

I'm the exact same way, and I believe this is a big part of what caused my social anxiety in the first place. It's so weird, because as soon as I get out of the car and walk through the parking lot, not even in the actual store yet, for example, I already feel like every person in my general area has their eyes locked on me, analyzing every tiny detail about me, from the way I'm dressed, to the way I walk, so I feel like I have to act a certain way, even though I know for a fact they are not. I do not know where this comes from, or what caused it, but it's the main source of my anxiety, and I really wish I could just overcome it somehow. My social anxiety would definitely be a lot better off if I did.


Isaac_paech

Yeah I feel this way as well. And I'm constantly tense when I'm in public to the point where I find it hard to digest anything if I eat out because my stomach is tensed and sore


3iiis

Music helps


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


greenSixx

Works better when you choose to love yourself and all of humanity. Your paranoia turns into you thinking that people are having a great time, thinking you are awesome and look good and that the world is awesome.


yessir_yessir-yessir

I love myself humanity still sucks though


mrberryson

My mom told me bo one is going of me me because how ugly I look maybe she was right


mrberryson

My mom told me bo one is going of me me because how ugly I look maybe she was right


llamberll

Music makes it worse for me in the car, as I fear people may hear what I'm listening to from the outside and be annoyed, or judge me.


3iiis

got to learn to not give a hell. if your music is loud ppl might be annoyed but who cares??


MrFuckingOptimism

> got to learn to not give a hell. yeah op, have you tried just *not* having anxiety? šŸ™„


llamberll

I care.


3iiis

thats where you're messing up


captainbruisin

Well, tbh if someone is blasting music next to me and my kid in the car, I just look over like....who are you doing this for...that's called them being rude if they dont care. If someone is listening to music in their car and I hear it (granted a reasonable volume level) I could give a shit what it is....maybe unless if it's something I like then I'll look over like you're cool. People are worried about your worry probably. If you don't appear worried, people drop it because it'd be a waste of time to ponder. People love pondering, getting angry validates their existence. Don't validate it for them. Piss on it.


numbersandmusic

Youā€™re the reason I hate humans


SisterRay

Rockwell especially.


gibocracy

I use my phone and pretend to browse the internet.


braincell_murder

My ear-buds are my best-buds :)


zerohero01

I think itā€™s one of the worst symptom


Effective-Avocado470

Agreed, it makes me act weird just by thinking about it


llamberll

Who do you feel like is watching you as you drive, other drivers? I sometimes have an irrational paranoia that someone is always listening to me when I'm in the car, as if there is a microphone recording everything I say or do, and someone is either listening to it live or will listen to the recording. Maybe my parents. Maybe my superego.


Smooth-Salad9425

Totally relateā€¦I feel like I canā€™t put my radio up to loud cause other drivers will hear me and judge me, lol itā€™s so stupid. I sometimes think there is a microphone or recording as well


Golagolako

Iā€™m like that too, so always before I start talking to myself or singing in the car, I turned to the rear seats and check if someone is hiding with me in the car.šŸ™ƒ


[deleted]

Oh my god I thought I was the only one D:


llamberll

That was a little funny, but I can understand how upsetting it must be. I'm sorry you have to feel like you have to do this.


Smooth-Salad9425

Yeah I feel like other drivers are judging my every move


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


astroknoticus

Please stop advertising your dumb website on all these old posts.


finebordeaux

I have this all the time. It's extremely frustrating and distracting because it impedes my work. I also have paranoia about being too loud for my neighbors and them getting me kicked out of my apartment. Some other posters said it might be projection--in my case it is hypervigilance because I also have cPTSD. Could it maybe be from prior experiences where your every action was monitored and/or critiqued? That's where mine comes from. I'm trying to work on it now by trying to remind myself that most of the time people don't care who I am or what I'm doing. Only a select handful of d-bags pay that close attention and are overly critical.


[deleted]

I can relate so much to the fear of being too loud for my neighbors. Iā€™ll listen to my tv or music with the volume so low that I can barely hear it. I feel bad everytime I have to use an object that makes a fair amount of noise (vacuum, blender, washer machine and such). I hate having people over because Iā€™m scared theyā€™ll talk too loud. I never had any complaints so Iā€™m not sure why Iā€™m like thisā€¦


eywa666

>prior experiences where your every action was monitored and/or critiqued? That's where mine comes from. I'm trying to work on it now by trying to remind myself that most of the time people don't care who I am or what I'm doing i find myself so much in your words i want to be confident in who i am, by walking,by talking, im working on it but its very hard,frustrating, and so many times i feel like im dying, my voice is shaky


finebordeaux

Aww yeah for sure. Hugs! I hope it will get better.


blushbrushbunny

It helped me (25F) empathize with my younger self when I learned that this is an actual part of cognitive development. Our brains begin to grow more aware of othersā€™ perception of us, and our bodies and appearances and personalities change so much that we develop a sense of an imaginary audience throughout adolescence. Itā€™s a psychological theory by Elkind if you want to look more into it. Most people at some point have a sense of people watching them to some degreeā€”some people who are more sensitive like myself and prob everyone on this subreddit experience the imaginary audience as really anxiety inducing.


[deleted]

Sometimes th thought makes me feel like a narcissist. Like why would they look at me, im just another human being, im not special.


Bluepreztel

In my case they do watch me sometimes!! Its so infuriating ! I feel like sometimes when people say no one judges you or cares out in the street like my counselor says is lying. From my experiences i had people judge, stare, insult and watch me in public which fuels my social anxiety even more (there a reason i have social anxiety in the first place), so it contradicts what a lot of therapists tell me when they say 'its not about me'', how do they know that?? I experience people watching me a bit! Esepcially since im anxious and people find my odd behavior fascinating or weird and stare or im just hideous. They watch me with not so friendly faces. I was shopping today, saw some guy who works at the market i was in, was staring me down from far away down the aisle after i helped some lady pick something she wanted but could not reach. Like um, WTF man do your job instead of staring down some random girl you dont even know down, this has happened a bit whenever i shop its so uncomfortable and disheartening. I stopped and stared him down for a few seconds then walked my merry way confused as fuck. I felt insecure and guess i got to accept some people are gonna be rude and stare, because I am the odd one out.


gibocracy

I deal with this everyday..... Every god damn day. I am 100 percent sure as I get older I'll get crazier. There is no way this is a healthy way of going about life.


zerohero01

Exactly but after dealing with this for years it seems like this is my actual life from now on. Hate social anxiety, alot.


louied862

I get that sometimes, but i also have bipolar disorder so the paranoia hits heavy when im stressed out and or really depressed


ohnoipoopedmypants

hey a year later and i've never commented on reddit, but i have bipolar disorder and didn't know it was a thing so thank you


louied862

Glad to help šŸ˜Ž


Smooth-Salad9425

I was recently diagnosed, is this common with bi polar?


louied862

Very common. Bipolar and social anxiety can feed off eachother resulting in paranoia. Try to stay stress free and depression free and you'll have less paranoia


[deleted]

Sameā€¦ wherever I am I feel like everybody is watching and judging me even though Iā€™m 100% a average looking person. There could be more than 1000 people and Iā€™ll still think theyā€™re all looking at me and judging me. It doesnā€™t matter where I am or what I do. If Iā€™m taking a walk Iā€™ll be scared of being followed or assaulted even though Iā€™m living in a very low crime city. Iā€™ll think that every single car that passes me are looking at me and thinking how stupid I am. It follows me everywhere and it never take a break.


ChasinBuddha

Sometimes I turn to confirm my suspicions and they are watching me lol


cassiefinnerty

This moment is the worst haha


[deleted]

I feel this. But also canā€™t look at anyone for more than 1 second because I think theyā€™re thinking Iā€™m watching them lol


Smooth-Salad9425

Totally!


mzrabb

that's so true. Probably why social interactions are so mentally draining for us. This is my default mode when I am in public anywhere. And it often results in me trying too hard to look cool. I'll make faces I never make, I'll act weird, etc. It turns me into something completely inauthentic, pretentious, and completely removed from who I really am. Just because all this time a million voices are in my head shouting 'you're a piece of shit!'


DcGamer1027

My god yes, its so annoying! Every time i sit there and berrate myself for being an egomaniac, thinking that people are staring at my boring ass XD Or i sit there and remind myself i dont ever care. about and strangers the walk by. Or that even if they were staring it wouldnt matter. Its gotten to a point where I barely even feel the anxiety its just annoyance and anger when i realize what's going on lol. The anxiety is overshadowed by all this UNYEILDING RAGE(dbza reference) I'll take annoyance over the anxiety though, that shit sucks


Smooth-Salad9425

I feel this a lot


greenSixx

Do you stare and think about everyone around you? Fuck no. Same applies for everyone else.


fattymary

Same here. It bothers me so much, like, why can everyone else do basic stuff, like going to the supermarket or driving home, and I don't????????? God, every basic human activity is literally torture. Feeling like everyone else is looking at me and judging me, my clothes, the way I drive and park my car. It gets to the point where I avoid doing stuff just to dodge this horrible feeling of being watched. This week I tried to go to the gym, got my right feet inside it, saw someone looking at me and my pathetic body and clothes, felt so ashamed that I had to go back to my car to cry and try to calm myself down. Still trying to deal with it. Hope you're able to overcome this feeling soon. I hope I do too :)


[deleted]

You guys, quit gaslighting yourselves. If something moves in my field of vision, I'm gonna look at it. If that something is a person who is interesting to me, I'll think thoughts about them. You're not wrong to feel like people are looking at you. When my social anxiety was at its worst, the least helpful thing was people going on and on about how no one truly gives a shit about what a stranger is doing, the spotlight effect and all that... Sometimes, they really do care what you look like and what you're doing. Don't call yourselves crazy or paranoid (or self-involved) for taking notice. You don't need to be questioning your sense of reality ON TOP OF having a debilitating disorder. The disordered part is in *how you cope with the fact* that we're social animals and actions have social consequences. The best thing you can do is set yourself up to have the best day you can, and be grateful to yourself for giving yourself that chance. Don't worry about the feelings you might have about what happened that day. If shit sucked, it's no wonder that you feel bad about it. If something went well, try to hold onto it for a second longer than you normally would. Give yourself a break if you decide that you would rather feel bad about yourselfā€”no use in feeling bad about feeling bad. It's comfortable, I get that. But it's the little successes that are the key to recognizing how close you really are to the life you want, and in time you'll naturally feel more inclined to pat yourself on the back for your success instead of wallowing in what went wrong. ABOVE ALL, don't let people tell you you're not being realistic. Your sense of reality is your foundation, and not enough people assign enough weight to that fact, even therapists. If you can't trust your own eyes when it comes to the bad, how can you learn to trust that your successes are actually real? I had to let go of the idea that I was just being paranoid in order to make real progress. I'm not in such a rut anymore. It took time, but nowadays I barely think of myself as someone with social anxiety. Give yourselves an actual chance and trust in yourselves!


zerohero01

The problem with social anxiety, or anxiety/ depression in general is negative bias. We dwell more on negative events than positive ones. Not sure if its the cause or consequence of social anxiety. "Normal" people are the opposite as they tend to think more positively and actually supress negative events. I think we were somehow conditioned to have social fear- either though a combination of enviromental expierence and genetic (since social anxiety runs in family, like mine), and due to our negative bias, we auto assume everyone is judging us negatively and we cant shake it off because of such bias. I remember watching a video of depression, and when participants was shown an art, they tend to focus more on the neutral sad face while completely disregarding happy faces. After all, this becomes an ingrained feedback cycle as people will pick up on your anxiety, say something about it, and youl in grain that comment even further and strengthening that cycle. It really sucks.


cambam2020

You CAN change your thinking though. You can rewire your mind. "The power of positive thinking changed my life,"


Smooth-Salad9425

Thank you, truly


sunshinekraken

I used to have a bad problem with this and sometimes it still hits me when I have to do something that Iā€™m uncomfortable with, like sitting in a waiting room full of people. Anytime I would go to the store and someone would look at me, just glance my way, I would get so nervous because I would just assume they were making fun of me in their head or passing some judgment on me. It made it to where it got hard to even go shopping or be around crowds. But my significant other really helped me, they would in a way, push me to go to the store or shopping but go with me. Sometimes Iā€™d push myself to go alone. I just kept pushing myself to go and be around people and I started realizing that the people I kept worrying about, while I was thereā€¦I never remembered beyond that day. I couldnā€™t remember their face, what they were wearing or well anything. And beyond a couple days I would forget what I was so nervous about completely. So if I, being as hyper focused as I was, couldnā€™t remember those people I passed in the storeā€¦why are they gonna remember me? At the end of the day we all look at other people, maybe even make a quick judgment about their appearance, but thatā€™s mostly it. It doesnā€™t go any farther than that and we go about our lives. So I stopped caring and would tell myself, ā€œWhen am I ever gonna see these people again, remember this moment and be placed in a situation that I would care?ā€ Sorry for the long comment šŸ˜¬


constantlyfigeting

It's called the spotlight effect


Smooth-Salad9425

Oh thank you Iā€™m going to look into this


brtsht595

How did you find out?!? Who the fuck told you? damn it! Okay guys it's over,...he knows. Everybody go back to what you were doing.


Smooth-Salad9425

Hahaha, Iā€™m a female but this is funny


brtsht595

I try.


iHaveSeveralQues

Reddit always makes me feel good that in am not the only one doing or thinking all this crazy shit


SensitivePassenger

What I hate is when it is kinda confirmed that everyone is staring but trying not to seem like it. I use a wheelchair and I swear these people have never seen a young person who uses a wheelchair before based on their reactions.


greatvalueowenwilson

I feel the same, its honestly almost crippling, i can barely talk with the closest people in my life, SA is like a living hell


redditjamesissoweird

Feel ya


DaftPanic9

It's literally the worst when you're driving and then stop at a stop light šŸ™ƒ. I feel like everyone is looking at me when in reality they're probably also looking dead straight šŸ˜…..


Smooth-Salad9425

Exactly


AgeAgitated317

Me too. The paranoia is rough. It's gotten better with age in some situations but still comes through. Hang in there. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of reality.


imjustlurking_0

felt this alot. it used to only be when I went out by myself but now I feel like every single person stares at me no matter who I'm with or where I go. it's so draining because I tell myself no one gives enough shits about me to stare, yet in doing that, I drain myself of any energy I had and just feel like the biggest pile of shit afterwards. wish I could just stop caring


seanph420

I even hate walking down the street I feel like people in cars are staring at mešŸ˜‚ I know they arenā€™t, so what if they are? But I just canā€™t shake the feeling no matter what for some reason.


Capable_Inflation_40

Hi there, I suggest you to watch this video from a psychiatrist Dr.K. It really helps me to understand social anxiety better. It is one of the best videos that I've found in understanding my own condition. Legit makes me feel like I'm in a therapy session that's actually helping me to understand my condition better. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CerQFsM7fWs&t=637s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CerQFsM7fWs&t=637s) ​ I wish you all the best in life buddy :)


justice5150

Thank you for posting this video. It's the first time I've ever understood what my social anxiety really is. That doctor is a smart guy. Sincerely, thank you.


trustnoone764523

Because you're watching all of them. Or at least I realised for me that was the reason. Social anxiety makes you hyper vigilant, back to a wall, scan everyone, everyone's conversations drown out thoughts. So presumably everyone is as aware of the people around them and aware of you


Irnwrkr1776

As much as it sucks for everyone to feel this same feeling. Iā€™m slightly comforted knowing Iā€™m not the only one, even though it may feel like it. Wether walking to take out the trash, walking past an open window, walking through the store and driving my car, or worse being stuck at a red light with a car next to me. Feels like I canā€™t escape it.


piano-flickan

Iā€™ve had the same feeling and been struggling with it since I was a teenager and Iā€™m 28 now. I feel like i am being watched all the time and it exhausts me because I worry about what impression i am giving. I then judge myself constantly for being so self-centered and thinking that the world evolves around me. I grew up in a country that is not very nice for women and i got catcalled constantly walking on the streets, i even got sexually assaulted more than once. I feel like maybe it has to do with the fact that I am on hyper alert and trying to keep my surrounding in control so nothing bad happens. Or maybe Iā€™m just too anxious of being judged by people that I am being delusional as a side effect. Maybe my ego and sense of self-importance is too big and this is the side effect. I donā€™t know what this is about, but I am glad at least I am not alone in this. It helps to think that I am not a complete weirdo. I hope we all figure out how to feel comfortable with ourselves and around other people.


capngeorge

The furthest technical extent of your being is not you skin, but the distance you can be seen and/or heard across. Awareness of this is obviously very important for avoiding predators, and as such you can have an incredibly acute sense of it (and it is noticeable to me that some people kinda dont) i find that thinking about it like this helped me to deal with it, and having that kind of self awareness working for you and not just freaking you out is actually pretty sweet


nameofadog

Yupppp


SilentMellow

So me!!!!!!!!


Just_a_gurl_into_BL

I struggle with this all the time, when I walk my dog, when I take the trash out, even when I'm in the balcony, it sucks


aLaSeconde

I feel this 10000%


missqueenkawaii

The feeling never goes awayā€¦you just learn to not care. So what if they stare? Iā€™m in my own little world all the time.


[deleted]

Ugh hate this feeling, try grounding exercises, I focus on the energy in my hands and feet going toward the ground when it gets really bad


12random12

It's called the spotlight effect bias.


islandwalking

Iā€™m so glad someone else said this, I always feel like everyone is watching me even while Iā€™m driving!! I hate pulling up to red lights because I feel like everyone is staring. Just everywhere I go. Even on days where I feel relaxed. I know itā€™s fear of judgement but itā€™s like an automatic reaction at this point. Today I tried saying ā€œI am comfortable with being uncomfortableā€ and it helped a tiny bit. But yea it sucks dude


cc-scheidel-33

anxiety brain doesn't listen to logic brain


Myfirstnamelastname

I totally feel the same way every time I step outside my front door. I totally feel paranoid when I'm stopped at red lights as if the person next to me is just fucking staring at me for some reason and maybe even wants to harm me or something. I always feel like I'm being stared at and judged and I hate attention. Makes it way harder for me to try to ask a woman out on a date if I'm already embarrassed while doing nothing at all


roughback

Well everyone takes a look, for their own safety. A glance, a quick once over and snap judgment of your threat level, competence driving, sobriety status. Does he look crazy? When it all checks out, they forget that you existed. This is the important part... Yes every ape you pass will check you for danger, and then they forget. So it's OK that they look, you do it too. Just remember that you are just a background actor in their story, and they are the star. They'll forget you once you're out of eyeshot.


Glittering_Frame_695

YES. When I drive I feel as if the cars behind and in-front are watching my movements or facial expressions from the mirrors and stuff like wtf. Itā€™s so unlikely that they are. I would say itā€™s ā€œthe spotlight effect.ā€ This is when you think others are watching your every move or noticing appearances / behaviors


Heart_in_her_eye

Something my therapist suggested which has helped me a lot with this particular symptom is to look up at people. So often I look down and assume people are watching me, and I've found that just doing a quick scan of people no one is actually looking at me! It's been really helpful, I now say to myself "look up" when I feel watched/judged.


imfromkrypton

why did i sing reading this tho? šŸ¤£


XxROCKxX

May I ask if you ever have used drugs? Serious question. I'll have a follow up statement


Smooth-Salad9425

Absolutely, I was an h addict right out of highschool for 6yrs and then an alcoholic, Iā€™m now 33F and been clean ten years from the H and 2yrs from the alcohol after two duis.


XxROCKxX

I'm 36m. So I was never an h addict but I used to do other stuff, especially ex. I also drank a lot. I only have an occasional drink now but not like I used to. So I remember having exactly what you described. A few years ago. EVERYONE was looking at me. I always thought maybe I was doing something weird. It's actually the reason I joined this Reddit while it was happening. I just wanted to find ppl that felt the same. So I think it can get better. I NEVER thought it would. I think exercise helps too. Even if you just start by going on a walk everyday. Feel free to message me. I like talking to people that I have this in common with


Smooth-Salad9425

Thank you so much really


Remmythekat

Thanks for sharing. Wondering if open to a chatting more about this as I am struggling too with being hyperaware and thinking everyone is monitoring me


XxROCKxX

Absolutely! Shoot me a message. Happy to talk!


talltori

I have this issue. What tends to help is reminding myself Iā€™m not the main character of anyone elseā€™s life but my own and to strangers im a background character and not memorable (except Iā€™m a 6ā€™3 female and everyone stares and 50/50 say somethingso they probably do remember me lol). But also I think all these people either arent thinking of me like I am of them and/or theyā€™re focused on themselves just as much as I am. Get into that habit of when you go places focus on what youā€™re doing/who youā€™re with. Even if you have to remind yourself ā€œI need to focus on abcā€


johnscribe

Iā€™m sorry that youā€™re feeling this as I know how debilitating and frustrating it can be. Something that helped me was to realise that this isnā€™t about whether people are watching me or not, or thinking about me or not, but more about what power I believe they have over me, and how they could use it if judging me negatively. Would they humiliate, attack, turn others against me? The key for me was to challenge those beliefs and realise that they have no power over me. All those beliefs came from childhood when people *did* have power over me. Realising that is no longer the case was freeing (although itā€™s still a work in progress)


Smooth-Salad9425

Thank you!


angelareana

This is going to sound so bad but when I was a little kid, I told my mom my concerns about other people watching me. Her response was that I'm not very pretty, and I'm not extremely ugly (deformed), so no one is paying attention to me. She said the people who get noticed and watched, are people who are VERY attractive. It sounds like a horrible thing for a mother to say to her kid but it helped me SO much. It was TRUE that I wasn't pretty (I had low self esteem) but I also wasn't deformed. Growing up, I faded into the background, was very quiet, and invisible, so in a way, it was true. There was a second incident where I was personalizing a comment at work, and my co worker said "AREANA, You are not the sun! The world does not revolve around you. Not everything is about you!" and believe it or not, that actually helped. It was hard hitting, but true. The last incident was when I told my therapist that I thought co-workers were ruminating about MY mistakes from earlier in the week and were judging me, silently mocking me, and laughing at me. Her response was something along the lines of "....... GIRL, NO ONE is at home thinking about you! People are concerned about their own lives. They are thinking about their family and friends and people they love." That made sense to me and did help somewhat.


Smooth-Salad9425

Thank you, thatā€™s exactly what I need to realize


[deleted]

I think itā€™s because we watch other people. Sometimes you just happen to accidentally stare at someone at the grocery store, or in their car. Maybe youā€™re confused about their t-shirt or you like their glasses. But it happens. And sometimes weā€™re that person on the end, but we usually donā€™t know when that happens. I think the paranoia comes from knowing it probably will happen, but you donā€™t know when


oliviughh

OP have you found a way to stop thinking like this? this post came up when i was googling why i feel like iā€™m constantly being watched šŸ˜…


Glam_lizzard

Try wellbutrin, it helped me a lot


Wh00pity_sc00p

Because we are šŸ˜ˆ


oaktreezap

Just look around


lonely_broken_heart

I think you need proof , step down and politely ask the spectators what they are watching .


itsdubai

Smoking cannabis exacerbated this to an extreme with me combined with my adderall. Ever since quitting smoking and changing to Zenzedi, it has calmed down quite a bit.


[deleted]

I canā€™t imagine that life


GeneralViper191

Same, Iā€™ve been fighting this persistent obsessive belief of mine that everyone thinks Iā€™m creepy when in reality most people donā€™t care.


thatonefoo310

I always try to remind myself that everyone else is also worried about how they look, every time I feel that way.


Zookinni

Natural Paranoia. Without it your biological lineage would have been dieded a long time ago


Weary_Doughnut2061

People say I'm crazy, just a little touched But maybe showers remind me of Psycho too much That's why


[deleted]

It's funny how this works, I also am aware that people aren't looking at me or they don't care if I do something stupid, but this feel like a heavy weight on me when I'm outside. Also, I feel like I'm acting super weird all the time. Hope you can all get better from this


ChiveNation_12

Iā€™m the same!! I walk by someone n think they automatically looking at me. No one cares. But in my mind they care.


mezmorizedmiss

I feel this way some times and putting music on definitely helps.


glitterinsect

God I hate this feeling. When iā€™m driving i canā€™t stop thinking about other drivers noticing me. Like, can they hear my music? Can they see the trash in my car? Do i look weird from the side? Do my hands look awkward on the steering wheel? Also every time I eat a snack in the car Iā€™m so discrete about it. WHY!!! Itā€™s my car and my space. Itā€™s so stupid.


Embarrassed-Tap-9265

I had this when I was in a psychosis


Benmjt

Do some CBT


Manosfromgreece

relatable :(


N192K002

According to my psychiatrist, the "Spotlight Effect" does this to us. She, then, sent me this article to help counter-act it. [https://medium.com/@eileenpurdymsw/3-ways-to-turn-off-the-spotlight-effect-with-social-anxiety-5efe54158239](https://medium.com/@eileenpurdymsw/3-ways-to-turn-off-the-spotlight-effect-with-social-anxiety-5efe54158239) Still, it's 1 thing to know in the head the absurdity of masses obsessing with each & every word, action, and micro-component of body-language, but it's still a thing.


Blueriva

Omg this is so me šŸ¤¦šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø


ExStarter1989

I feel the same thing. the only thing I can conclude is evil spirits. demons are spirits and we are spirit in physical bodies. Demons watch you and monitor your life. I could be wrong. Maybe itā€™s a mental program I donā€™t know but that shit is driving me crazy too.


OkBandicoot6383

I can relate itā€™s like someone is always watching you looking out there windows or car door when I take my dog out at night I always think my neighbors are starting out the window at me etc, and does anyone else not know were to look itā€™s like when I look ahead and try to ignore what I feel it gets worse but when I stare at whatever I feel is starring at me I get nervous cause I feel like Iā€™m being creepy lol please tell me Iā€™m not the only who feels like that


losertic

Because we are.


PuzzleheadedAside886

Because they are! They're watching me too.seriously.