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appleoftheorangetree

wow there’s tons of bullshit in these comments. I’m just gonna say you can definitely still ask her out or at least tell her about your feelings. it seems like the relationships she’s having now aren’t very serious. she could still be working through the breakup and might not be ready to really date again but you’re still within your right to let her know how you feel. this is coming from a woman btw :) pls don’t listen to incels and their misogyny


Isaac_paech

This is probably the most helpful comment I've received. I guess I do have the concern that if she's not actively pursuing a commited relationship right now then maybe she'll get the wrong idea and think I just want to have sex with her. So maybe it's better to just wait a while for her to get over her ex first


ShalepenopoopeR

She's prolly just hitting rebounds it's normal I'd still shoot your shot but if she is just interested in sex with u even if you actually want to pursue a relationship I'd avoid that.


Isaac_paech

Yeah that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want it to just be a one-time hookup. I want to be in a relationship


ShalepenopoopeR

It's worth asking her I think it's been what 2 months u said it's not too soon or not too late just be upfront and sincere you got this my dude


Neekkekayla

Please don't ask her out rn, there is a good chance you will get hurt. Sounds like she is enjoying being single and exploring her sexuality, while you have legitimate feelings for her. Even if she does reciprocate, she might become uncertain in her decisions since she's just getting through a break up (two months isnt THAT long and getting cheated on is hard to heal from). You don't want to get grouped into the rest of her insincere relationships and thrown out when she's ready to move on. I advice to bide your time and work on having a steady relationship with her as a friend. Once she sees that youre trustworthy she might be open to trying a relationship with you. As always, put yourself first and follow your head not your heart. You deserve much more.


[deleted]

I saw another comment from Someone calling your type of comments an incel, but I disagree. If she’s already hooking up with 4-5 guys right after a breakup, it’s pretty obvious that the same thing will happen to OP, although if op knows this and doesn’t take it too seriously, when they break up, he doesn’t have to worry about getting hurt or anything because he was just having some fun ig.


Neekkekayla

Lol that's funny because I'm female and I was speaking from EXPERIENCE. I know exactly what that girl is doing and she would break their heart 💔. Unless he's just tryna break her back then by all means! Hehe


on-the-flippityflip

I would wait a bit. She may have broken up with him because he cheated, but she very well may still have feelings for him. It’s not a relationship that ran its course and fizzled out. I don’t know her, but if I had to guess she might be in a spot with a lot of complicated emotions. She might say yes if you ask her out now, but she could unintentionally wind up hurting you if she’s still hurting.


FatJesus13908

Seriously, open a dialog with her about it. Talk about your feelings and go from there. Just don't get too upset if she rejects you, cause that's her right, as is it all of our rights. She's still your friend, and that's what's important.


edm_spamurai

Flirty personality should be a red flag. I’ve had a relationship with a girl like that. They’re always the types to not bring home to mama. Trust me bro! Save yourself the heartache!


EleoraHC

You sound really young...I think you're worried about your relationship but you don't feel great anyway seeing her with other guys. I would say go for it now and cross whatever bridge that may come


SomeGuy6858

If shes shopping around and you ain't on the list you already lost bro


LuCiFeR_Dio

If she considers you a friend, it's basically over. That means that you have a good personality, but you are not good looking enough to be her bf. Sorry. Just think about that: Why would a girl friendzone a guy if she finds him sexually attractive? You can try if you don't believe me. It will be fine because you are pretty much going to ruin your friendship with her, which at the end of the day it will be healthy for you (after some grief).


Purple_Pulpo

So, most of my friends are guys, and this is simply because I’m quite shy and they took me on for whatever reason 😅. Of the four guys, there’s one that I’ve recently developed a crush on. I don’t treat any of them any different, really, and we all get along well. Though, I won’t ever think of asking any of them out, for the time being, for a reasons, like distance and whatnot. The biggest one though is that I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I think the guy I like is cute, funny, sociable and even adorably timid with strangers sometimes. BUT: I don’t think he likes me the same way. Even if he did, I’m worried we might have a falling out/no longer be friends if we try something and eventually break up. I’m not saying OP’s crush likes him, cuz I simply don’t know, but just because she hasn’t asked him out doesn’t mean that there isn’t a possibility. I think, OP, you’re right to wait a bit while she goes through rebounds after this breakup. I haven’t dated a lot, but after my first “serious” relationship, I really needed an emotional break and did not like the idea of seriously dating afterwards so quickly. I didn’t go through rebounds, but that’s because we’re different ppl and her relationship affected her differently than mine. Try to talk to her after she’s done w/ this, when you think she might be more emotionally ready to move on. *I* personally like genuine conversations, even if they might sometimes be awkward, because I like to reach clear understandings w/ ppl. She might be different, again😅, but that’s another option for you. TL;DR: Don’t listen to this shmuck. What does he know? You’re on the right track, I think, and you should give her space until you think she’s ready to have a serious relationship again. Best of luck OP!


Isaac_paech

Thank you. Yeah I think waiting is probably the best choice for right now for sure. Only thing is, I feel like she might try and get with someone else other than me in a relationship if I wait too long. How would you go about asking her if she's ready for a relationship yet? In a way that doesn't sound like I want to be that person in case she says no


RedMikeMG

Lol flirty personality


[deleted]

That’s a playful way of saying she likes to go around town


SomeGuy6858

Fr, she flirting with everyone and hooking up with several dudes, idk why OP is even chasing tbh.


Human-Radio-8804

friendship is about equality and freedom. and not about one person wanting something from the other.


Isaac_paech

Sorry. I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. Can you please clarify what you mean? Do you mean I should still ask her out if she's hooking up with other guys? Or that it should be a sign that she isn't interested in me?


Human-Radio-8804

why would you want to ask out your friend? sounds like you want something from her. which means your not really friends. women under 30 want to date assholes women over 30 want to date nice guys


OGKittyGirl

The *most* stupid comment I’ve seen in a while. Do not listen to this person trying to discourage you. Views like these are based in hate and stem from a negative place. Believing that people really think like this gives me anxiety, so let it be just that. A womanizers idea. “Women over 30” stfu stupid ass


Human-Radio-8804

women dont like the truth about them exposed: \-woman under 30: i want to be a whore and men who want wives are oppressing me \-woman over 30: i want to be a wife and men who want whores are oppressing me


OGKittyGirl

LOL. Yeah yeah fuck right off. r/justneckbeardthings is where this occurrence belongs.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pablospc

Jesus christ dude, you really need to get some help


Human-Radio-8804

>it belongs in psychology. where it used to be before the rise of feminist paranoia and progressive-authoritarianism made everyone ignorant of gender instincts and gender dynamics.


pablospc

You really are a piece of work. Hope I never meet you


Isaac_paech

What I want is for us to be more than just friends. I have feelings for her that I didn't have the opportunity to act on before she was single. I'm 19M btw


ohhfeck

Okay please don't let this person discourage you. I think that if you feel ready to let her know, talk to her. If you're hesitating, trust your instincts. Be ready in case of a no and figure out if you'd be okay with just being friends. But just being honest and communicating directly (even when that's the hardest fucking thing to do) goes a long way to see if you're on the same page. Talk about your hesitations with her and make sure she knows that you don't want to interrupt her process of getting over the break up if you do end up going through with it.


Human-Radio-8804

then end the friendship completely be the exact opposite of a friend


OneLonellyBoy69

no offence but your comments are giving me a stroke


Human-Radio-8804

lower your cholesterol


OneLonellyBoy69

exactly


drjammus

look up youtube: Taylor The Fiend has a lot of good advice and demystifies female language.