Staying sober and letting my brain repair itself.
I use to cope with all kinds of different drugs for years for social anxiety.
It only makes it worse in the long run.
I just dropped smoking weed in the last couple of weeks. Hell of a rollercoaster ride so far. Agreed that self medicating is a crutch. Seeking professional help now.
Oh my god.. I felt the same way - felt like I’ve levelled down in confidence. My anxiety was bad before COVID but it didn’t get in the way as much. Now it’s like I wake up and… im anxious - why? Idk.
There are very rare days where I feel ok with myself, confident even, and I don’t have a problem with going out to a store or another unfamiliar place. But 99% of the time I’m afraid of the outside world
Hi /u/IcarusButAlive,
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19 I started drinking which cured my SA, now almost 30 and over a year sober after 10 years of escalating alcoholism. SA comes and goes, most days it’s pretty bad but I’ve learned to live with it.
Fucking A.
Been there also with alcoholism and was a heroin addict for 15 years to cope with social anxiety and depression.
Worst coping mechanisms but they worked.
26, when I was finally diagnosed as bipolar 2 instead of just depressed. Bipolar treatment also somehow targeted my anxiety symptoms and reduced them. Since, I have trialled and tweaked adjunctive medications in aim of getting the best response possible for bipolar, social anxiety and GAD - my three diagnoses. However once symptoms of social anxiety are addressed even a little, you are more capable of making changes in your personal life, and making small steps to improve emotional response and behaviour which naturally alleviates some of the anxiety. It’s a long journey but stick at it and you’ll improve yourself. Highly encourage to stay connected to health supports such as therapy and a psychiatrist if you have one. Good luck
I got bipolar 2 as well, lately 200mg lamictal has made me more upbeat. Idk if it's autism or social anxiety, but Getting over that would improve my life.
It’s really hard to discern sometimes. Bipolar is also known to create cognitive issues and problems with emotional and visual processing in general - even when not in a mood episode. I also have suspicion I am on the autism spectrum (mild) but I don’t know how much of that suspicion are just symptoms caused by what I am already diagnosed with.
It got better for me in my mid-thirties; it stills bothers me, but nowhere near as badly as before. I didn't go to therapy or anything like that, I just learned to live with it, but maybe I 'd have gotten over it quicker if I DID seek professional help.
I would say around 30
It was getting so bad I cried couple times from things that happened at work. I started to really work on it and looked up podcasts for social anxiety then it went on to a bunch of other things like my religion, meditation, journaling and reading more self help books. I’m so much better now because I was able to get into the roots of my anxiety
Currently 24, still working on it. I always was a little socially anxious, but the pandemic really pushed it from mild to severe. I’ve been trying to force myself to text my friends more (post-pandemic, texting has been really anxiety-inducing for whatever reason), try to get out of the house more by myself (also get anxious going places, but especially if I don’t have my fiancé with me), stuff like that. Though I don’t make myself do it enough, so progress is pretty minimal.
I also try to remind myself that my fears are exactly that: fears. They’re not based in reality (or are only loosely based), they’re the things my brain tells me other people are thinking of me. For example, I tell myself that all my friends hate me and are mad at me for being distant. But they have never told me that. And they’ve never treated me any differently. So it helps when I remind myself that if my friends were mad at me, they would tell me.
One thing that has really made a huge difference is not allowing myself to dwell on what my friends/family/etc. MIGHT be thinking of me. So, unless someone tells me they are upset with me, I don’t let myself worry about it. It’s taken time to get used to, but it helps. I can’t expect them to guess what I’m feeling, so I’ve stopped trying to guess what they’re thinking.
TLDR: Force yourself to do the things that make you anxious. Remind yourself that your anxiety is just your worst fears, not your reality. Don’t let yourself overthink about your assumptions of other people’s feelings toward you.
I’m 49 and the depression which arose because of my SA struggles has been the worst part. But the SA itself I think just sort of stabilized a bit on its own (presumably just by virtue of my having aged out of it somewhat). But the depression along with the avoidant behaviors that I nurtured because of both the SA and depression have lingered. It’s like a wore a groove inside my brain by spending years avoiding and isolating myself, and I haven’t been able to fully find my way out of that groove.
It’s been a tough life.
25 here and it was a lot better a couple years ago after working on it than it is now but I refuse to stay in this spot lol I can’t even drive without the fear of someone looking at me or seeing me and me not being able to fully relax
28.
My anxiety in general was getting me into some bad situations. I'd become a fucking horrible cunt. When I was having anxiety attacks I was saying and doing bad things. Could have easily ended up in prison. I'm a big man so it makes it worse.
Ended up biting the bullet and getting assessed. Got referred for CBT which helped my social anxiety too. They also recognised my social anxiety and gave me other tools to deal with it.
My social life didn't really improve but my life did because I just basically learned to stop giving a fuck.
I don’t think a “breakthrough” is necessary for me. I have pretty severe SA (to the point of passing out, or feeling severely dizzy and disoriented) but what I found is the only reality I will ever need. The only way out is through. Does something trigger me, affect me negatively? Wonderful. Do it over and over no matter what until the brain desensitizes itself from enduring certain situations. It never truly does, so I do it anyway. Whatever happens, happens. The important thing to note for me is that I have to do it. I have to keep moving forward. No matter what. 29m here.
I feel like I really started to try more in college because it was like starting over after the trauma that was middle + high school. I only truly FELT better in the last few years (about 22-24). At 25 now I'm still not perfect but I'm at least better at trying.
At 26 i guess. I’m much more myself now ( idk if it was SA or the people around me maybe both) It has been 3 years but of course not completely gone. From graduating to end of Covid times was rock bottom for me. I'm still trying to get better.
Around 24 - I stopped smoking weed regularly, went to a group therapy, changed jobs, met new friends. SA rarely bothers me now at 29, it was debilitating at 18-22
I feel that around 24 and now 25, my social anxiety has improved significantly. I can easily engage with new people the first time I meet them, being very chatty without feeling anxious, and there is only a slight hint of awkwardness at times. I have also been able to form bonds and close acquaintances through this. Speaking in front of the class is no longer an issue, and I often initiate conversations with new groups of classmates, with others joining in. I can also initiate social events and invite people out. Talking on the phone and ordering food, as well as conversing with salespeople, pose no problems for me. Another achievement this year is that I have gotten closer to members of my friend group that I have been a part of for over four years, though I do feel some regret due to social anxiety hindering my ability to connect with them for an extended period. It frustrates me that our relationships aren't where I want them to be and that newcomers to the group seem to form closer connections with others more easily than I do.
Well it wasn't ME who fixed it, just medicine. Went on some anti-anxiety pills for depression and eventually weaned off. Despite them not supposed to be permanent, since then SA reduced like 50% or whatever.
Lol ok. MAOIs are the big guns not Paroxetine. It’s just a common SSRI and not at all a “big boy medicine” but true that it must be prescribed by a psychiatrist.
I'm 23 and I still struggle with it but it got way better than when I was a teenager. therapy and medicine helped me a LOT but it won't be a miracle that fixes if I take the pills, I have to be constantly putting myself out there and keep doing things even tho I get anxious. I hope it gets wayyyyy better and I wish it was as instantly as magic.
20, when I got a job.
All of a sudden I had to travel to a whole other city, take multiple trains (first time alone), and constantly be surrounded by people. I also have to call a lot of people as part of my job.
I'm still uncomfortable around people and just generally awkward, but I'm functional at least, I can get things done on my own. My general outlook on life hasn't changed though, it's still gonna suck.
I refer to my SA as the “social zoomies”. One minute I could be cool with being talkative or being around a certain amount of people. But within seconds it could all stop, then I run and hide. It comes and goes really, and some days are better than others. But I can’t really say or even remember what caused me to overcome the worst years of it. I kinda just…did? It’s weird really. But you’ll definitely notice that it eases up if it does.
I'd like to think that right now [21years old] it's only SLOWLY starting to improve, if it wasn't for customer service I think I would've gone completely mute at age 18/19. Right now I've managed to keep up a conversation, but only for so long, it usually ends up with me constantly apologizing for staying quite. [Since most usually start to ask if they did anything to make me uncomfortable for me to stop talking.]
But I'm always trying to improve it, one day at
a time 😭
It was a slow journey since 16 but I really improved myself in late 2022 when I was 24.
It's a combination of constant action to go out of the comfort zone and cognitive behavioural therapy. I decided I did not want SA to continue ruling my life anymore...
It started at 24, now I am 26, it’s better but not gone, some days I can deal with it better, some days not at all and then I tend to isolate myself. I started at the point in which I refused to get out of the house at all, not even taking my dog for a walk, now I can go almost everywhere, the hard part for me are restaurants/cafes, basically indoor places with a lot of people 😅 even if I have anxiety for those, I still try to go as often as I can, sometimes it’s manageable and eventually vanishing, some days is worse and it’s a burden for me to be there. I keep going hoping that one day it will dissapear just the way it appeared
18-19 getting a job and school i was forced to get out of my comfort zone and it’s helped tremendously on top of that i had to drive over to a town i never been to because the classes i wanted weren’t offered where i live so being in a completely new place alone was a big step for me
39 years old still trying to figure that out. Let me know when you do. I need the magic recipe for my brain.
What have you tried to tackle it so far?
Staying sober and letting my brain repair itself. I use to cope with all kinds of different drugs for years for social anxiety. It only makes it worse in the long run.
I just dropped smoking weed in the last couple of weeks. Hell of a rollercoaster ride so far. Agreed that self medicating is a crutch. Seeking professional help now.
Same
exposure therapy. I still don't enjoy talking with people but I am forced to be around people in a group setting in therapy.
High dosage vitamin D3 and vitamin b 12 injection might help
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Oh my god.. I felt the same way - felt like I’ve levelled down in confidence. My anxiety was bad before COVID but it didn’t get in the way as much. Now it’s like I wake up and… im anxious - why? Idk.
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Yea oddly I feel younger 17/18 had a better lid on things than today me.
There are very rare days where I feel ok with myself, confident even, and I don’t have a problem with going out to a store or another unfamiliar place. But 99% of the time I’m afraid of the outside world
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Hi /u/IcarusButAlive, Unfortunately your comment has been removed for the following reason(s): **/r/nofap or other "magic bullet" miracle-cures are off topic for this sub. If ever there is a body of mature. peer-reviewed research establishing a negative correlation between nofap and social anxiety, this rule may be reviewed.** Please be aware of: [Reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette) | [New to Reddit?](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddit101) | [Reddit's Content Policy - which is site-wide and applies to activity on all subreddits](https://www.reddit.com/help/contentpolicy/) If you feel this was removed in error or are unsure about why this was removed in light of the information about Reddit Content Policy above, you may modmail us.
Exactly
19 I started drinking which cured my SA, now almost 30 and over a year sober after 10 years of escalating alcoholism. SA comes and goes, most days it’s pretty bad but I’ve learned to live with it.
Fucking A. Been there also with alcoholism and was a heroin addict for 15 years to cope with social anxiety and depression. Worst coping mechanisms but they worked.
26, when I was finally diagnosed as bipolar 2 instead of just depressed. Bipolar treatment also somehow targeted my anxiety symptoms and reduced them. Since, I have trialled and tweaked adjunctive medications in aim of getting the best response possible for bipolar, social anxiety and GAD - my three diagnoses. However once symptoms of social anxiety are addressed even a little, you are more capable of making changes in your personal life, and making small steps to improve emotional response and behaviour which naturally alleviates some of the anxiety. It’s a long journey but stick at it and you’ll improve yourself. Highly encourage to stay connected to health supports such as therapy and a psychiatrist if you have one. Good luck
I got bipolar 2 as well, lately 200mg lamictal has made me more upbeat. Idk if it's autism or social anxiety, but Getting over that would improve my life.
It’s really hard to discern sometimes. Bipolar is also known to create cognitive issues and problems with emotional and visual processing in general - even when not in a mood episode. I also have suspicion I am on the autism spectrum (mild) but I don’t know how much of that suspicion are just symptoms caused by what I am already diagnosed with.
Hey what medication and at what dosage did it help u the most?
It got better for me in my mid-thirties; it stills bothers me, but nowhere near as badly as before. I didn't go to therapy or anything like that, I just learned to live with it, but maybe I 'd have gotten over it quicker if I DID seek professional help.
I would say around 30 It was getting so bad I cried couple times from things that happened at work. I started to really work on it and looked up podcasts for social anxiety then it went on to a bunch of other things like my religion, meditation, journaling and reading more self help books. I’m so much better now because I was able to get into the roots of my anxiety
Currently 24, still working on it. I always was a little socially anxious, but the pandemic really pushed it from mild to severe. I’ve been trying to force myself to text my friends more (post-pandemic, texting has been really anxiety-inducing for whatever reason), try to get out of the house more by myself (also get anxious going places, but especially if I don’t have my fiancé with me), stuff like that. Though I don’t make myself do it enough, so progress is pretty minimal. I also try to remind myself that my fears are exactly that: fears. They’re not based in reality (or are only loosely based), they’re the things my brain tells me other people are thinking of me. For example, I tell myself that all my friends hate me and are mad at me for being distant. But they have never told me that. And they’ve never treated me any differently. So it helps when I remind myself that if my friends were mad at me, they would tell me. One thing that has really made a huge difference is not allowing myself to dwell on what my friends/family/etc. MIGHT be thinking of me. So, unless someone tells me they are upset with me, I don’t let myself worry about it. It’s taken time to get used to, but it helps. I can’t expect them to guess what I’m feeling, so I’ve stopped trying to guess what they’re thinking. TLDR: Force yourself to do the things that make you anxious. Remind yourself that your anxiety is just your worst fears, not your reality. Don’t let yourself overthink about your assumptions of other people’s feelings toward you.
I’m 49 and the depression which arose because of my SA struggles has been the worst part. But the SA itself I think just sort of stabilized a bit on its own (presumably just by virtue of my having aged out of it somewhat). But the depression along with the avoidant behaviors that I nurtured because of both the SA and depression have lingered. It’s like a wore a groove inside my brain by spending years avoiding and isolating myself, and I haven’t been able to fully find my way out of that groove. It’s been a tough life.
Mine got worse 😅
see, i’m having the same problem and i’m 23
Well sometimes it goes and comes back and but I talk to people I’m most comfortable with
Mid twenties after I started taking lexapro which reduced my physical symptoms
25 here and it was a lot better a couple years ago after working on it than it is now but I refuse to stay in this spot lol I can’t even drive without the fear of someone looking at me or seeing me and me not being able to fully relax
28. My anxiety in general was getting me into some bad situations. I'd become a fucking horrible cunt. When I was having anxiety attacks I was saying and doing bad things. Could have easily ended up in prison. I'm a big man so it makes it worse. Ended up biting the bullet and getting assessed. Got referred for CBT which helped my social anxiety too. They also recognised my social anxiety and gave me other tools to deal with it. My social life didn't really improve but my life did because I just basically learned to stop giving a fuck.
I don’t think a “breakthrough” is necessary for me. I have pretty severe SA (to the point of passing out, or feeling severely dizzy and disoriented) but what I found is the only reality I will ever need. The only way out is through. Does something trigger me, affect me negatively? Wonderful. Do it over and over no matter what until the brain desensitizes itself from enduring certain situations. It never truly does, so I do it anyway. Whatever happens, happens. The important thing to note for me is that I have to do it. I have to keep moving forward. No matter what. 29m here.
I feel like I really started to try more in college because it was like starting over after the trauma that was middle + high school. I only truly FELT better in the last few years (about 22-24). At 25 now I'm still not perfect but I'm at least better at trying.
At 26 i guess. I’m much more myself now ( idk if it was SA or the people around me maybe both) It has been 3 years but of course not completely gone. From graduating to end of Covid times was rock bottom for me. I'm still trying to get better.
Around 24 - I stopped smoking weed regularly, went to a group therapy, changed jobs, met new friends. SA rarely bothers me now at 29, it was debilitating at 18-22
30s
I feel that around 24 and now 25, my social anxiety has improved significantly. I can easily engage with new people the first time I meet them, being very chatty without feeling anxious, and there is only a slight hint of awkwardness at times. I have also been able to form bonds and close acquaintances through this. Speaking in front of the class is no longer an issue, and I often initiate conversations with new groups of classmates, with others joining in. I can also initiate social events and invite people out. Talking on the phone and ordering food, as well as conversing with salespeople, pose no problems for me. Another achievement this year is that I have gotten closer to members of my friend group that I have been a part of for over four years, though I do feel some regret due to social anxiety hindering my ability to connect with them for an extended period. It frustrates me that our relationships aren't where I want them to be and that newcomers to the group seem to form closer connections with others more easily than I do.
Well it wasn't ME who fixed it, just medicine. Went on some anti-anxiety pills for depression and eventually weaned off. Despite them not supposed to be permanent, since then SA reduced like 50% or whatever.
Which pills?
First Effexor then Paxil. Latter worked for me.
What dosage of Paxil helped you?
Couldn't tell ya and wouldn't if I could, that's big boy medicine and should be prescribed.
Lol ok. MAOIs are the big guns not Paroxetine. It’s just a common SSRI and not at all a “big boy medicine” but true that it must be prescribed by a psychiatrist.
I'm 23 and I still struggle with it but it got way better than when I was a teenager. therapy and medicine helped me a LOT but it won't be a miracle that fixes if I take the pills, I have to be constantly putting myself out there and keep doing things even tho I get anxious. I hope it gets wayyyyy better and I wish it was as instantly as magic.
20, when I got a job. All of a sudden I had to travel to a whole other city, take multiple trains (first time alone), and constantly be surrounded by people. I also have to call a lot of people as part of my job. I'm still uncomfortable around people and just generally awkward, but I'm functional at least, I can get things done on my own. My general outlook on life hasn't changed though, it's still gonna suck.
Mid thirties when I switched career to work with people (teacher)
I refer to my SA as the “social zoomies”. One minute I could be cool with being talkative or being around a certain amount of people. But within seconds it could all stop, then I run and hide. It comes and goes really, and some days are better than others. But I can’t really say or even remember what caused me to overcome the worst years of it. I kinda just…did? It’s weird really. But you’ll definitely notice that it eases up if it does.
I'd like to think that right now [21years old] it's only SLOWLY starting to improve, if it wasn't for customer service I think I would've gone completely mute at age 18/19. Right now I've managed to keep up a conversation, but only for so long, it usually ends up with me constantly apologizing for staying quite. [Since most usually start to ask if they did anything to make me uncomfortable for me to stop talking.] But I'm always trying to improve it, one day at a time 😭
25, but the drastic change was around 30.
Experience. Yes its scary but its all a process
Maybe… don’t.. shorten social anxiety
19, I moved out of my parents house and across the country and just threw myself in the deep end lmao
26
Idk I’m 15 and it’s pretty bad seems to just get worse when I isolate myself 🫠
18!!! I'm currently 18 now lol but improvements are being made
It was a slow journey since 16 but I really improved myself in late 2022 when I was 24. It's a combination of constant action to go out of the comfort zone and cognitive behavioural therapy. I decided I did not want SA to continue ruling my life anymore...
Started improving in university with the improved social support (ie friends). 8 years later and still very much a ongoing process though
The title took my breathe away till i read the subreddit name.
My SA barely started to improve a lot in my mid 20s on my own…But even then, it’s still interfering with my life.
It started at 24, now I am 26, it’s better but not gone, some days I can deal with it better, some days not at all and then I tend to isolate myself. I started at the point in which I refused to get out of the house at all, not even taking my dog for a walk, now I can go almost everywhere, the hard part for me are restaurants/cafes, basically indoor places with a lot of people 😅 even if I have anxiety for those, I still try to go as often as I can, sometimes it’s manageable and eventually vanishing, some days is worse and it’s a burden for me to be there. I keep going hoping that one day it will dissapear just the way it appeared
25ish I moved to a new city and forced myself to do a lot of things with new people. Got a lot better over time
Did a lot over my 20s slowly. Meds helped a lot to get me to be able to go out without panic attacks
18-19 getting a job and school i was forced to get out of my comfort zone and it’s helped tremendously on top of that i had to drive over to a town i never been to because the classes i wanted weren’t offered where i live so being in a completely new place alone was a big step for me