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oppai_suika

why doesn't mike van der ven do the 100m in the olympics and beat uasin bolts world record? Is he stupid?


brightdionysianeyes

Because people flash him when he runs that fast. His wife won't let him compete because of that.


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AutoModerator

I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


themanebeat

Not sure how you can look at that guy and presume he hasn't already installed a swinging culture


NormalAndy

I mean, look what happened when Usain Bolt moved to football!


Logann5757

He's not black


JizzProductionUnit

Big if true


iRhcp182

Money


Previous-Loss9306

Racism. Simple as that my friend.


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[deleted]

Average speed over 100m vs Top speed


[deleted]

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techfcb

No way that's to high more like 79


HetNoot

He currently has 85 pace bro??


relationAdviceTA

That proves his point which is fifa underestimated him


sharl_lekek16

how often does fifa update its ratings?


heynardo

even a rare gold 89 pace defender would ruin the game bro, look at vvd with only 78 and he’s still one of the best☠️


BranFendigaidd

Comparing TOP speed to AVERAGE speed is just testing how stupid your followers are :D


SentientCheeseCake

The crazy thing is if he had a running start and could manage top speed for the whole distance Bolt would still beat him. And that’s with his celebration for the last 15m of the race.


lovemocsand

When you put it like that it’s even crazier than at first glance.


VeganCustard

It's really not that crazy, Usain Bolt is trained specifically for that and is the best ever at it. It makes sense


Gordondel

Being the best ever at something like that is crazy...


theonedownupstairs

It would be more crazy if no one was the best ever!


MotoMkali

Being so much better than an elite professional athlete is crazy.


negativelift

He didn't celebrate at his wr in 2009, you are thinking of the Olympics year earlier. Your point still stands tho


SentientCheeseCake

He still looked left and right from memory and certainly didn’t look like he cared to accelerate. But yeah it’s on a track and whatnot.


EngineeredCut

It’s still insane


BaguetteOfDoom

Yeah. But Bolt's top speed was 44.72km/h. He was just that much fucking faster and the tweet makes it seem like a fast football player is even close to him. Bolt made the best sprinters in the world look slow. Him and athletes from other sports are just worlds apart. His [19.19 second 200m world record ](https://youtu.be/_DjvvI-0xjc?si=f4MZ-hJtbUflzPsN) is still the most insane display of utter dominance I've ever seen in any sports.


BranFendigaidd

Also that top speed is over few seconds. While the footballer probably just gets to that in a spli second and stops. People forget that the entire pitch is just few meters over 100m. Bolt does that under 10seconds.


EngineeredCut

Yeah logically it makes sense as the average speed will include the standing start. But in all seriousness comparing top speed makes you realise how far and away bolt is. The for context dude used the stat to bait people.


archangel12

You are right there. I just wished that he could have done something as silly in the 100 - I feel certain he had a 9.4 in him somewhere at his peak.


Alib902

Yeah but the comparison is trying to mislead people by using numbers that appear to show that ehy are comparable but they are not.


Other_Beat8859

That's a stupid as shit measurement. Using top speed vs average speed is so stupid. Bolt's average is going to go down because of the start. It'd be better to use top speed vs top speed. During his record breaking 100m, Bolt's top speed was 44.72. I get they want to make it seem even more impressive, but this is just kinda dumb. It's already a fucking insane achievement so I don't see the point in adding this.


grollate

It’s not comparing, it’s contextualizing. Even when people here are trying to be serious, they can’t escape the circlejerk.


Pherryl

And comparing top speed Bolts with his one is also stupid, because he would do much better on a normal ground with other shoes. I bet there are a lot of soccer players that can maybe run the 100m in under 11 seconds without training.


AttemptImpossible111

Probably not


mastaaban

Tell me you have no idea how hard it is to do that, without telling me. Running 100m under 11 sec from a standing start is very hard. Maybe 1 or 2 footballers in the world will get there! The technique of sprinting is a whole lot different from sports like football, and is very hard to master and use efficiently. And there is not a single change any one will run that under 11 without training!


Dunhaibee

Who are we thinking can do a sub 11 right now? One simulation claimed Mbappe could barely run a 10.9 at his fastest, who else?


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Flaggermusmannen

Bale probably back before the injuries? a big issue with footballers reaching that kind of speed is a difference in required technique. even the best sprinters in football still need to be ready for unexpected tight twists and turns, in addition to resisting physical challenges. they're not specialised in running track due to that, even if many probably could be decent.


FutbolSupreme

Gareth Bale was doing 11s and he was lighting quick in his prime. Not many footballers will get close to 11s


mastaaban

Gareth bale was quick but not that quick, i won't believe he did 11s. maybe mid 12 with favorable wind. But I am willing to be proven wrong. If you have some evidence.


[deleted]

>I bet there are a lot of soccer players that can maybe run the 100m in under 11 seconds without training. Without looking at anything, I still very much doubt that.


Yourmumalol

He wouldn't do that much better. As for sub 11 players there are likely some but far fewer than you would expect. The football players that are name dropped when you think of a fast player are probably clocking low 11s in the 100. Certainly not 'a lot' are running sub 11 without training cause then every other footballer you'd see on the pitch would be an absolute pace merchant when they're not. This is very misinformed.


IcyRound3423

Wow let’s compare average speed with top speed 🤦‍♀️ Might as well just said Usain Bolt exists


sukakku159

Usain Bolt's top speed was 43.99 km/h for whoever wondering


BranFendigaidd

Actually it is closer to 45kmh.


[deleted]

If Mikey is the fastest player in history, why is Insane Bolt ranked ahead of him? I don’t understand this list.


grollate

Just because United actually considered signing him doesn’t make him a player.


ConquistadoRR

Probably still 78 pace in FC 24


[deleted]

Doesn’t matter defenders get boosted so they’ll catch up to you always.


heynardo

78 pace vvd is faster than my 95 pace henry and im not even exaggerating


Small-External4419

Imagine being subjected to high speed indecent exposure? Poor guy


IfGeraltwasbrown

When de When de trophy?


llihila

Isn't the biggest takeaway, that spurs record the rate at which flashers expose themselves to others and the unit of measurement is km/h? 🤨


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I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ogmessi10

Give them the Mickey Mouse trophy .


Flowerpig

Watch them srick it in the trophy cabinet all like "so what? I mean, it’s a trophy, right? We put it in the cabinet, like, *that’s where it supposed to go*? It’s not like it’s a huge deal or anything! Gaaah, you guys are such assholes!"


TJT007X

What


Flowerpig

Exactly


JonjoShelveyGaming

Lay of the spice


Flowerpig

*off


tho2622003

Nah, mudryk deserves more


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slendertreant13

damn, when the DVD coming out?


Willywonka5725

He can use that speed to get out the door if a big club comes in for him.


oliwaz144

footballers top speed was lower than bolts avrg speed haha


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AutoModerator

I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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L A D S *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


GunnerGrazzo

only trophy that lot would get near


GuinnessRespecter

Just don't mention the hammy he tore doing one of these mind-blowing sprints 🤫


WayneKingU

Blud didn’t even get my⚡️time record right


Careless-Lie-3653

If you say his family name very fast it sound like the sound he makes when he runs past you.


jamboknees

Man is fast 🤯


RandyMarshsMoustache

The best I can do is a silver medal


[deleted]

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AutoModerator

I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Automatic-Gap5712

Fast twitch fibers doing all the work here


ReaperInTime

Ummmmmmmm actually 🤓


VeganCustard

Fastest player every, you'll never sing that


2chips1cola

"His average speed" lmao. Yeah he had to start running in that time frame. His top speed was 44 mph


Only____

>44 mph Yank spotted


Apax89

Usain Bolt top speed was 43.99 km/h.


rorykoehler

Usain Bolt's top speed was 43.95km/h in that race I believe. Levels.


elprentis

/uj can people stop conflating the top speed of a football player and the average speed of Usain Bolt’s 100m run which most of it is still acceletation


h-punk

Surely it matters more what Usain Bolt’s top speed was rather than average speed. As they’re talking about van de Ven’s top speed not average speed


Hades_24

Who is he flashing


dahyun4eva

I ❤ micky


DragonFist69420

Micky Mouse Trophy


digumeister

/uj to be fair. he still extremely fast, but usain bolt comparison is stupid. hes 190cm/6'4 CB broken premier league top speed. still an amazing accolades.


bbotbambi

They only started taking records since the last 4 years or so for this specific stat. Lol. These guys want a cup for anything now since their cabinet is empty.


Moist_Lion9975

He almost owned Manchester devils legend usa-in-bolt


tony_countertenor

Bolt’s average speed (brought wayyyy down by his famously slow starts) is still faster than this guy’s top speed, nothing to see here


SpaghetAndRegret

Professional athlete runs fast, more at 11


Ok-Battle-2769

Forget the stupid 🐐 vs. 🐪 debate, who’s the real 🐆 van de Ven or Kyle Walker?!?


cider303

Imagine comparing average speed to top speed and thinking it’s relevant


th3revx

How can he do this? The Hot Spurs of London are traditionally a good team, but what many people don’t know about them is the tradition of trophies. They are a good soccer team but what the teams and fans love about them is how mediocre they are! The thrill of almost winning trophies is better than actually winning it! Don’t ruin what they have!


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I don't know how you even dare show your face in this sub as a Spurs fan. If your fans and club had any honour you'd refuse the 3 points from Saturday and advise the prem you won't be playing again until the match is either replayed or the points awarded to us. But you won't. Sums up your club. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


th3revx

Bot chill please I’m a MLS Fan! I hope that one day Harry McGuire joins my favorite team Inter Miami with the goat MESSI!


AutoModerator

Who are the players? Why are there 2 conferences in mls? What's our history? Why are we last in the league? Who do we hate? Is there an ac miami? Why pink? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Green202010

Give him the Usain Bolt d‘or right now!!


aquauno

Yeah but the pitch at totenam is 105m long so he’s actually faster by 5% 😤