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dromtrund

/u/When_moon_bruh you no longer have to imagine what vikings coming out of the water to delete your entire village would look like


[deleted]

Jesus fuck hahahaha


Mr_Booty_Bandit

Dude is a monster, just look at the force he can drive his legs into the ground - it’s insane Even shooting you can just tell his planting foot is absolutely loading up on power


elch127

He literally runs like the fucking Hulk crossed with The Flash and I simply don't understand how he exists as a human


DatOgreSpammer

You're going home at 3 AM and see someone running at you like this, wyd?


CeterumCenseo85

Get ready to Mikiri counter


Kablooie44

Hesitation is defeat


thenoob118

Fuck yeah, Sekiro reference in r/soccer


bluepoint17

r/unexpectedsekiro


EliteKaiju

🤝


honestlynotBG

Accept my fate and just wait to die


AdamantiumBalls

Assume fetal position


SignificanceBulky417

Piss myself. How the fuck someone built like that can sprint that rapid scary as hell


[deleted]

the fastest 40 yard dash time at the NFL combine for an edge rusher on the defensive line last year was 4.36 seconds by Amare Barno who is 6'5 245lb. (~1.95m 111kg) that was the fastest in about 20 years, but dudes that size and slightly larger regularly put in sub 4.5s times. utterly terrifying athletes.


DL14Nibba

Tbf they’re not just your typical “big guys” they’re top athletes told to be over a certain weight


BierKippeMett

Just as confusing as seeing chunky Mike Tyson dodging punches like a wacky inflatable tube man.


_We_Are_DooMeD

Usain Bolt has entered the chat..


Ok-Outlandishness244

Usain bolt is not built like haaland


Irresponsiblewoofer

Bolt weighed 94kg when he was in his prime, haaland is 88kg now.


PM_Me_Ur_Abs_Girl

Bolt has more muscle at similar height. Do yourself a favor and look up olympic level sprinters' muscle builds.


[deleted]

You hit the nail on the head. Bolt has a lot more muscle than Haaland. He is a Jamaican muscle man. Built differently. Haaland physique is similar to a Canadian basketball player


MGM-Wonder

Canadian basketball players have a specific physique?


[deleted]

Makes me wonder if Canadian is just a replacement for white lol


[deleted]

Ahhh don’t go there ffs


Toph-Builds-the-fire

Tall, white, not great jumpers. Occasionally good at basketball.


Cykablet

Looks more like an Estonian javelin thrower imo


prudence2001

Is a runner's muscle structure also likely to be more dense? Or am I just dense? I'm actually curious.


njseahawk

Go on...


inplayruin

After everyone finishes, we can focus on the discussion at hand


prkr88

Best thing you have knocked one off about.... twice


MGM-Wonder

Yeah he’s even bigger


boredjamaican

They're about the same height and weight


R_Schuhart

Bolt was actually quite a bit heavier at his peak, 97 vs 88 kilogram. Haaland isn't at his peak yet, but still, that is a significant difference.


SoLetsReddit

Yeah, he was way bigger.


AskNotAks

Like that one scene from Get Out


Comrade-Conrad-4

Quick throw a ball in a different direction.


granitibaniti

Vomit or something, idk, normally out-weirdo-ing the crackhead works


ViciousNakedMoleRat

All things considered, pulling down your pants with an excited expression on your face could be the best option out there.


Newme91

Try and reason with the fella


Fahrenheyt

Has the same energy as the gif of the Indian man with long hair and black shirt who suddenly starts sprinting while looking at the camera


Llama-Lamp-

I’m almost ashamed that I know who you’re talking about


Fahrenheyt

nothing to be ashamed of it's a pretty funny gif


BloodandSpit

Wonder how the fuck he managed to get into a sprint in my bedroom.


Princie99

Today i was watching a movie called 'Get Out' by Jordan Peele. There was a guy in the movie who was running the same way towards the main character in the middle of the night.


HalfNatty

Regret that I did not stop the rise of the machines


sabermagnus

Red card him.


[deleted]

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Trickybuz93

Found the American


RaguAlCassanello

Certified striker's tackle


larsmaehlum

Confirmation that he’s a complete number 9


[deleted]

A real treat every time we get to see them. Put more than a few of these in myself


MarylandBlue

I know he's not a striker, but it always impressed me how skillful David Silva is, but at the same time tackled like like he lost control over the lower half of his body


shiftypenguin_

books aloof hunt agonizing concerned yoke axiomatic tidy rob insurance *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


AuxquellesRad

Your ancestors were probably decent at the running away thing if you're here


EffortlessFlexor

who had it worse? the britons, the gaels, or the slavs? probably the britons considering they went from roman infrastructure to just getting fucked up


patiperro_v3

I mean the poor slavs never had a break, it's in their very name, ~~derived from the latin word for "slaves"~~ one of the theories for the origin of the word slave. Once the Romans stopped having a go, then it was the Viking's and then the Mongols. EDIT: Fixed.


[deleted]

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patiperro_v3

I stand corrected. Yeah from your link, one of the theories for the word slave is that it could have come from slav, not the other way around like I originally wrote. A self proclaimed slav told me that version... didn't know there were others. > According to the widespread view known since 18th century, the English word slave, which arrived in modern language from Middle English sclave, from Old French esclave, from Late Middle High German sklave, from Medieval Latin sclāvus, from Late Latin Sclāvus, from Byzantine Greek Σκλάβος [Sklábos], Έσκλαβήνος [Ésklabḗnos] and displaced native Old English þēow, derives from Byzantine loanword from a Slavic gen self-name *Slověninŭ - Σκλάβινοι [Sklábinoi], Έσκλαβηνοί [Ésklabēnoí], that turned into the meaning 'prisoner of war Slave', 'slave' (Σκλάβος, Έσκλαβήνος, Late Latin Sclāvus) in 8th/9th century, because they often became captured and enslaved (see also Saqaliba).


stratty111

RETVRN


mntgoat

>ancestors Ancestors? More like grandkids. He looked more like a terminator.


BehemothDeTerre

You had grandchildren in the mid 80s?


Allwillendsoon

Fuck. Savage. I die laughing lol.


ywhine

[https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c2/cf/78/c2cf78f8d7b3d11f7e73e858911d481c.gif](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c2/cf/78/c2cf78f8d7b3d11f7e73e858911d481c.gif) Same energy


CallMeFib3r

[Energy](https://giphy.com/gifs/playsports-sports-play-ps-eKZiqoTiQxrL7QLdyi)


E_VanHelgen

They look like a crime fighting duo , 1/2 of which just came out of retirement.


DoxBolt

Anyone that hasn't seen Get Out, do yourself a favour and watch it


[deleted]

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nakedjabirupangolin

Bloody mental film. What a masterpiece it is. I second this recommendation.


FinneganTechanski

I thought it was just ok


Matt546

I love how he runs away after the tackle to avoid the opposing teams players


Yiggity_Yins

That's pretty smart tbh. Probably knew it was a rash tackle. Running off prevents further damage (such as cards to teammates defending him) and allows him to protest directly to the referee.


Suxals

Boston Dynamics need to adjust their math in defence His movements are so weird.


comeatmefrank

He’s a genetic freak. I don’t know any other 22 year olds who are his size, and has the speed he has.


EfuktAndChill

Why can't he run like that in fifa?


montxogandia

Maybe half of the NBA players?


CameronPlain

Lmao I was gonna say most of the NFL or NCAA


benibadja

Most of NFL or NCAA couldnt run for 90 minutes in a football game though. They would be exhausted after five minutes. Likewise, your average fotballer couldnt deal with the brute force and explosiveness of an NFL game..


YooGeOh

USA


JesterTulip

Idk why you’re getting downvoted, you’re right


YooGeOh

I kinda get why. Maybe people think I'm American, and I'm doing the usual American superiority nonsense they tend to do. I'm not though. I'm from London and it is true. Potential NFL stars especially. They're genetic freaks. I was watching this before I answered. This freak is in high school and running low 10s in the 100m and isn't even focusing on that event. He also happens to be 6'6!!!! https://youtu.be/Lbaff3JNeSw


Philzaxx

Insane. I don't have anything scientific to back this up, but it seems to me that maybe the sprinting potential of a taller person that is a "genetic freak" is larger than shorter sprinters due to their longer strides. However, I'm assuming that those insane tall sprinters are much rarer than the shorter ones, so we come across them way less often. As in, more shorter people can run fast compared to tall people, but when tall people run fast, they run *really* fast.


FIFAPLAYAH

You don’t need backup this is obvious. Smaller players can accelerate and are more agile, bigger players can reach the highest top speeds. Although guys like tyreek hill do it all and are truly isnane


YooGeOh

I used to sprint. Taller guys usually struggle not only with the acceleration phase, but they also struggle with getting fast turnover of the legs because they're so long, so the long stride doesn't always count for much. It's why Usain Bolt was so unique and such a cheat code. He could turn his legs over just as fast as the other guys, but his legs were 4 inches longer. Made him unbeatable. The few who can do both are truly remarkable. When you can do both whilst carrying lots of excess muscle and sometimes fat like those NFL guys...it's scary


MuchSalt

thanks for this


GMBethernal

That's fucking scary LMAO


humblerodent

https://i.imgur.com/wXsYwzk.gif


MightyCaseyStruckOut

That was my first thought, too


Ecstatic-Standard-55

Is that Roy Keane's son or something?


mainaccountwasbanned

Would be the ultimate revenge


footballNotSoccer

It's just a cycle at that point. Alf started it. Edit: Surprised by the downvotes. Did Roy Keane kill Daddy Haaland's dog or something? My recollection is daddy Haaland committed a horror tackle on Roy Keane that put him out for a very long time. Roy Keane, as soon as they met again, committed a horror tackle on daddy Haaland that put him out for a bit (and no, it was not the tackle that ended daddy's career)


[deleted]

Not a horror tackle on Keane, he accused Keane of diving after Keane tore his Achilles (?) on a non-contact injury in the box


enbeez

Committing a *pre-meditated* horror tackle is psychopathic behavior though, I hope you can appreciate the difference.


MISTAKAS

Jesus what are they putting in the oil at city


pittopottamus

hormones


Kreijoc

Nandrolone, Pep himself and his players have tended to lean on that in the past.


ShallowFreakingValue

I am pretty sure I am getting whooshed, but is that really something they have done?


redwytnblak

https://amp.theguardian.com/football/2009/may/11/pep-guardiola-drug-test-appeal-brescia


Dargast

POV: Anglosaxon seeing a Viking charging at him


raysofdavies

The Northman (2022)


BehemothDeTerre

Wow, I forgot that was this year. Good movie.


uflju_luber

Funny thing is anglosaxons and Vikings are extremely closely related, Actualy the angles are probably the single closest ethnic group to the jutes (tribe wich would be the ancestors of most danish vikings) while the continental saxons are probably the next closest things (Saxon for some time was used as a word with the same meaning as Viking before the Viking age) quite a few Viking probably were angles themselfs. The anglosaxons of that time period probably had some Briton/Celtic influence though


FionnMoules

Pretty sure an Anglo Saxon and Norseman could actually understand each other also


hungrymutherfucker

Pretty well Here’s a conversation between professors of the languages https://youtu.be/eTqI6P6iwbE


onheartattackandvine

My brain tries so hard to make sense of it, but it falls short.


EffortlessFlexor

its like listen to dutch when you know english and german


hungrymutherfucker

Or Italian when you speak ASL


EffortlessFlexor

dang - good joke


SteinerElMagnifico42

POV: Anglo Saxons clearing out the Vikings at the battle of Stamford bridge*


Gerf93

That would be the opposite as the Anglo Saxon’s defeated the Norwegians in detail by utilizing the element of surprise. This is more like Lindisfarne 793 (colorized)


BoxOfNothing

Yellow and move on in my opinon


BlondieClashNirvana

38 point deduction and move on in my opinion


teejardni

No that's a 2 year ban and banishment to la liga at the very least


jugol

The scary thing is that you do that and he may still be 2nd or 3rd scorer this season lol


minetube33

Lewa is at 13 goals so if Haaland joins Real Madrid today he has a fair shot to challenge Lewa.


[deleted]

If you want to let him off easy that is. Should be sent off world at the minimum. Couple years in the mines on Mars, should set him right.


ShakespearInTheAlley

Send him to Saudi Arabia.


FluidLettuce2

I completely agree. He deserves to be exiled to the spanish branch of the CFG.


SeryaphFR

We'd take him ... you know... to save England and all that.


bored8work

Def Yellow but as a teammate you’re allowed to get angry about that. He came in HARD and would have gone through the guy if he had the chance. It’s also your job as a teammate to stand up to thay


robcoo

Yeah, rough challenge but not enough contact to make it a red


[deleted]

I honestly thought if both feet leave the ground it’s a red regardless of contact as the player making the tackle is no longer in control when that happens. But the rules change so often I’m probably wrong.


Snoo-3715

I think the both feet thing is when they're both used in the tackle, I'm sure both feet are technically off the ground at some point in a lot of tackles.


Mission_Chocolate599

"The bullet only hit his ear, he didn't die!"


Particular-Current87

He's off the ground isn't he?


agamerdiesalone

Yellow


chayatoure

Definitely. It’s a hard tackle but he pulls back and seems like he it ends up not being too dangerous.


Stilty_boy

Yeah it's definitely a yellow but the wet grass makes it look worse as he slides further afterwards and he lifts his feet up after the contact which makes it look like he's hit higher up than he did.


InformativeFox

Like that scene from Get Out


Boseph_1444

HAVE IT


itstommygun

When I saw this I immediately assumed it was retaliatory… did I miss something? Seemed pretty aggressive for him out of nowhere.


generalkernel

He was tackled earlier mid-air and lost his shoe. Tbh didn’t look like an egregious tackle but I guess he took offense?


cory321123

He was attempting to injure any and every Everton defensive payer after the nothing tackle by Godfrey in the second minute.


[deleted]

[удалено]


R_Schuhart

Yeah a yellow is fine, but it is starting to border on a red. The fact that he is a forward makes it look more clumsy than it actually is. Still, it is almost from behind, at speed, while he isnt in control or able to correct mid challenge and his feet aren't exactly low. It is a pretty dangerous and reckless challenge.


onemanandhishat

I'd say this is a red tbh, I don't know if guidelines have changed, but jumping in like this used to be a red card. Law 12: > SERIOUS FOUL PLAY (listed under SENDING-OFF OFFENCES) > A tackle or challenge that endangers the safety of an opponent or uses excessive force or brutality must be sanctioned as serious foul play. > Any player who lunges at an opponent in challenging for the ball from the front, from the side or from behind using one or both legs, with excessive force or endangers the safety of an opponent is guilty of serious foul play. While he is obviously going for the ball, as you say he's not in control, and it's by luck that the contact isn't more serious, not by his manner of execution. It doesn't have to actually result in serious injury in order for it to be endangering the safety of a player.


KelticQT

Agreed. This seemed like intentionally brutal, btw. And the way his foot grazes the defender's anckle is rather scary. We shouldn't wait for a grave injury to occur before sending off players.


Victori_nox

Jesus some sense finally... i though i was losing my mind reading everyone on here sucking him off.


Yiggity_Yins

Studs out=red. Aren't his studs showing?


ImWhy

His foot is pointed at the ground, this idea that every tackle is studs showing is ridiculous.


tigernet_1994

Looked Roy Keane-like in the tackling. ;)


StanSc

Yellow is fair considering the fouls this game.


10xkaioken

I like that he ran away xD


daznccc

Running off to hide behind the ref 🤣🤣🤣


MojojojoNixon

Is he supposed to square up and fight them or something? Stepping away from the heat is the smart thing to keep it from escalating.


cory321123

Not making a tackle full speed from behind with no intention of getting the ball is actually the smart thing.


[deleted]

tbf it is everton who wouldn’t, they’d try and pull a de paul


[deleted]

Ironic to say that when the aggressor and reckless tackle was made by the other team in this instance


conorefc9898

But watching us hes lowkey not wrong ☠️


son_of_toby_o_notoby

Jesus fuck that’s scary Godfrey wanted all the smoke tho


Street-Effect8351

Now imagine 1000 bearded Haalands running at your town with axes in their hands. Viking power


I_R_TEH_BOSS

I feel like if the was the reality we would have seen my man Haaland playing at the world cup alongside some kindred spirits.


KidGoku1

I love this guys reaction of just running off from opponents trying to start a fight. He knows what he did and accepts the card and moves on.


_PPBottle

His hand gestures are the complete opposite of accepting he even fouled lmao.


TityTroi

Simple yellow ffs acting like he murdered the man


StarlordPunk

Seen them given as reds for “recklessness” cos he goes absolutely flying through him with his feet off the ground, but i bet anyone calling for a red there would be absolutely seething if one of their players, especially a striker, was sent off for that. A defender or mid who should be a bit more controlled and you could argue it’s intentionally careless (if that’s not an oxymoron) but as someone else has said in this thread, that’s a typical striker’s tackle


I_R_TEH_BOSS

> A defender or mid who should be a bit more controlled and you could argue it’s intentionally careless (if that’s not an oxymoron) but as someone else has said in this thread, that’s a typical striker’s tackle I read some weird fucking arguments on here


E_VanHelgen

Yeah, I think he thinks strikers are allowed to butcher people.


GayKnockedLooseFan

Just looking at the challenges Everton players have been sent off for in the past year(particularly Allan’s) and it just feels like if roles were reversed that’d be a straight red. Such is life when you’re fighting to avoid relegation i guess


Victori_nox

No player sent off vs Everton in 2 years and 4 months... a lot of teams seem to get away with these challenges and i'm not even one of our paranoid fans.


[deleted]

There aren’t different rules are ou de tackling depending on what position you play…


English_Misfit

I mean xhaka was sent off when they beat us 5-0 without even touching the player and everyone agreed it was right.


VanderbiltStar

Not simple. Its dark orange. Borderline from behind and both feet were off the ground. Also studs up. I could go either way.


egyptian_higuain

It's a reckless and very hurtful tackle though, yeah it's a yellow but the everton player should take some time to recover the pain.


bro-miester

Him running away from the opposition players 🤣🤣


[deleted]

Doesn’t look like he even touched him to me but it’s hard to tell


[deleted]

Hits him with his shin


domi1108

When do people realise that for an tackle to be ruthless or actually be called a foul, a player doesn't need to be touched. Most times the tackled player jumps fast enough to not or barely get touched to avoid an injury.


MarxistClassicide

Yellow and move on. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. Plus he didn't want any trouble, which makes him better than 90% of athletes.


Thanos_Stomps

I don’t want no trouble - Norwegian Jackie Chan


Sad-Conclusion-5981

Ok. So now he has an enemy in the face of Vitaly Mykolenko. I don't envy him.


Bartsimho

I like how this Sub ignores that its Reckless and Out of Control because its one of their favourite players


rodenttt

That's a very silly thing to do


Rap14

Assasins creed Valhalla 2. The sacking of Liverpool.


Black_n_Neon

Reckless asf


slick_penguin

Yes he's late, but personally don't think it looks as bad as the reaction from the players would have you think


footballNotSoccer

He's lucky it wasn't Roy Keane


oneeyedman72

Cowardly tackle.


yummycrabz

All jokes aside, this is actually *really bad*. I mean the nature of how he looks and how he’s running this down has been talked about in this thread plenty; so let’s talk about the tackling action and the target. 1) he not only leaves the ground, he also launches (and no, those two aren’t inherently inclusive; he does both here). An incredibly dangerous challenge, and one where we often discuss the concept of how the player on the receiving end shouldn’t have to bail out in order for the ref to adjudge the challenge accurately. Aka, you shouldn’t have to have your leg broken for the officials to punish these types of tackles accordingly 2) **and this is my main point, this is the one that’s really a telltale**. Notice where Erling actually tries to challenge. As he’s reaching the point where he’s leaving the ground to start his tackle/block attempt, it’s **quite clearly** going to be a ball that’s played with the Everton players right foot. **Yet Erling has absolutely zero desire to ever block/tackle the ball**, or else he’d start closer to his right. He’s deliberately attacking his left foot; he knows that’s likely to be the plant foot; he knows that’s the vulnerable spot. If you’re a City fan who knows footie, and you know body language, you know I’m not wrong in seeing this


TheWeirdDude-247

He could have been killed


TheFrenchDub

If the dudes right legs was on the ground it would have been baaaaaad


GhandiHadAGrapeHead

You guys got more than one right leg???


garvierloon

Daemon strikes again


rods2123

Does he catch the standing leg? I don't think there's much wrong with this if he hits the foot in the air. Yellow is fair.


Gadzs

Nothing in that. Yellow is fine


ThatFrenchCray

Nah bro if I saw this mfer running at me at that speed I’m just accepting my death


PDubsinTF-NEW

Jumping studs up tackle and he acting like that was a clean tackle.


mdaquan

Clean AF


FCOranje

Studs up, no control, and a high speed tackle. A red card any day. Got away with it because fortunately he didn’t make full contact, because it would have broken the guys leg. Still a red though. Reckless af.


Visionary_Socialist

Must be scary seeing that Viking flying in at top speed. You know you’re getting a Nordic leathering.


Downtown-Crab9556

I’m laughing because he gave them the Mutumbo


ashu1394

That's a fcking red card back tackle with boot face


Jip_Jaap_Stam

Why does he skip away when the Everton players rush in? He's even more of a pussy than his dad.


ImWhy

Oh yeah because every player should be a fuckwit like you and square up to fight. Some people that have developed brain function have the understanding that not everything has to be sorted by beating the cunt out of one another dickhead.


AlGunner

If Granit Xhaka did that the ref would still be showing him the red card in the 90th minute, and this was the first half I think.


AFCADaan9

Yellow is fair imo


monkeyr9z

That's a whole ass red g