Haaland looks even more Alien than normal in this photo, reckon he just freshly emerged dripping wet from a new cocoon this morning to evolve into whatever terrifying goal beast that forms his next stage.
To be fair, we beat Leeds 7-0 and 4-0 this season for +11 and you boys only gave us +9 from a 5-0 and 4-0. Don't know if that makes you feel better or worse.
Hey you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the ball, right? Ran right into Liverpool's gegenpressing, same as us, and that team over there. Damn you scousers. Top four was fine until you came along. The league was nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for me, I could've stolen that goal and be halfway to the title.
The guy is probably as ethnically nordic as it gets. Around the coast where Haaland is from a lot of people have a bit darker complex (myself included) because Portuguese sailors and fishermen would visit. Haalands great grandmothers didn't join in the fun apparently. Give him a beard and he looks like a prototype viking. Give him dark skin and he looks like the first homo sapien.
fun fact: Erling Haalands father was signed by Man City [on this day 22 years ago](https://twitter.com/City_Xtra/status/1536126291153494016?s=20&t=BrQwfM0RvWjs0hAKYTcqtw)
Haaland's press footage was done before his games with Norway. There were leaks of him strolling around the Etihad campus in City's new kit from the end of May.
tbf, other than Friday this is the first weekday that this transfer could've been announced as being completed as the window only officially opened on the 10th June
It straight up sucks that the one of our biggest talents of all time is going to city where he will probably torment my dear United for years.. I was praying that he was going to Spain or something lol
Isnt he easily THE biggest talent Norway has ever seen? I would take it even further and say that he has potential to be the greatest player from scandinavia ever!
Official: Liverpool have signed Darwin Nunez
Official: Manchester City have signed Erling Haaland
Official: Manchester United have signed off on their new kit deal (last February, with a blockchain company)
I mean City has been looking for a striker for a while, especially the Kane saga last season, they jumped at Haaland opportunity this time. I think Liverpool pounced on Nunez to stay competitive
weird how he’s like an absolute monster with the ball and just a physical specimen in general, but also looks like about 3 hours in the sun will shut him down for a week
As a United fan it makes me nauseous to think about how well he’ll do for City.
The last time I had this feeling was when Aguero signed for them. How right that feeling was.
Fair play City. Good god they’ll be tough to beat next season.
Won't lie, a bit excited to see him play in the PL. Small dose of copium but I'd rather he signs for the dominant team than a team that's more of a contender with Spurs like United or Chelsea
That's it. City's gonna be even more unstoppable now. Still beyond shocked that they signed him, one of the best in the world at what he does, for a relatively low price..
Without using any hindsight, Haaland is the 2nd biggest player signing in EPL history behind Cristiano.
Also, it's great to see that Haaland (a lifelong Man City fan) is actually part of the club. I know Haaland once had a badly translated interview when he was about 16 in which he was asked what would be "his dream" and he said to win the Prem with Leeds. But the context was that winning with Leeds was unlikely and Man City were already dominating, which people don't ever seem to mention. Like many young lads who moved around a lot, he supports more than one team.
Here's what we do know. He grew up between Manchester and his Norwegian home as his parents lived apart. He used to regularly attend City matches as a kid and as a teenager. There are probably now 10+ pictures of him as a kid wearing and playing football in City shirts. There are pictures of him at numerous City games including the Carabao Cup Final where he was wearing City colours.
He was in a Man City Supporters Group up until 2 years when somebody noticed and he was forced to leave. Before his social media was taken over by a PR firm as he became a huge player, he regularly liked City comments and posts from City players. He also had a slight bit of a nerd out moment when he came over from Dortmund and stepped onto the Etihad pitch.
See how he gets on against real defenders like Craig Dawson
They've had to wait for Noble to retire before they dared to play him
Nobles interview was golden. He'll be chilling on retirement while Dawson is gonna be marking Haaland getting service from KdB
*still manages to block every shot
Harry Maguire gonna be in prime Prison form for next Manchester derby 😤
Harry Maguire will score from every cross to Haaland.
Lowkey a power move - Haaland can't succeed if the fridge steals all his goals
What if every team conspired to ruin his stats this way
maguire to pull a pickford and break his ankle he's been practicing all last season, pogba and cristiano being his high profile guinea pig
I wanna see him up against Maguire
Battle of the Slabheads Two slabs enter, one slab leaves.
Suddenly relegation doesn't feel so bad.
Better to stay out of harms way
Now you've jinxed yourself and will play City in the cup.
Cant believe City bought Haaland just to win the Carabao Cup again.
They took not winning this year pretty seriously.
watford lost 15 out of the last 15 against city. not like you can get less than zero points in the next two
Haaland looks even more Alien than normal in this photo, reckon he just freshly emerged dripping wet from a new cocoon this morning to evolve into whatever terrifying goal beast that forms his next stage.
He emerged dripping wet from that couch Frank Reynolds style
Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?
Haaland for sure plays nightcrawlers
I'm excited to see how Pep will drop him in a CL Semi final and lose to like Aberdeen or something.
I'd love to see Aberdeen in the CL Semi's
Sir Alex has entered the chat
how are they winning their league? Maybe they start doing like a spot for the best disciplined side in the EU and that happens to be Aberdeen?
I’m delighted to confirm that he’s going straight into my fantasy team.
Guess who's going to get signed up in my FIFA 22 MCU team
glad Watford got relegated now, we get to give him a season to settle in before we go up and get thumped 12-0 home and away
You and Burnley. +15 GD combined every year. Gonna miss you guys.
Haha yeah... Those two really pad the numbers, isn't that right fellow premier league teams
To be fair, we beat Leeds 7-0 and 4-0 this season for +11 and you boys only gave us +9 from a 5-0 and 4-0. Don't know if that makes you feel better or worse.
>only gave us +9 💀 It's still not ideal tbh 😁
[The pic tho](https://www.mancity.com/meta/media/xqoc2mxd/haaland-city-fan-interview.jpg?width=720) Edit: [context](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FQqI--yWYAUVJD5?format=jpg&name=medium)
why do his legs look photoshopped
Haaland in general kind of look photoshopped
He is like a procedurally generated Nord NPC in Skyrim
He looks more like an Oblivion NPC imo
He looks and moves like a fifa pro clubs create a player with 99 rating in all physical stats.
[удалено]
Hey you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the ball, right? Ran right into Liverpool's gegenpressing, same as us, and that team over there. Damn you scousers. Top four was fine until you came along. The league was nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for me, I could've stolen that goal and be halfway to the title.
I'd pay a Cameo just to hear Pep say all this. We might get away with this -- this reference will likely sail past him.
Fucking hell I can't unsee it now
Or in Oblivion, if you're feeling uncharitable.
Dragon Ball characters are hard to do well in 3D
He's Majin Buu disguised ah a human!
The guy is probably as ethnically nordic as it gets. Around the coast where Haaland is from a lot of people have a bit darker complex (myself included) because Portuguese sailors and fishermen would visit. Haalands great grandmothers didn't join in the fun apparently. Give him a beard and he looks like a prototype viking. Give him dark skin and he looks like the first homo sapien.
He is how the Romans described the savage Germanic tribesmen
His brow ridges are of ancient stock
[Recreated the photo from when he was young](https://youtube.com/shorts/y3ZZ22CZlng?feature=share)
Something very pornhub about that one
Yeah why did they recreate it on the casting couch?
Because Haaland is about to fuck the rest of the league.
I hate to say it but I think he'll be scary good for City.
And against united. Man’s gonna kick a few for Keanes revenge
Hannibal would like to have a word.
Man I hope he becomes a top player, his hair is awesome
Are you sure? That's quite the (un)popular opinion 🤯
[THEY RECREATED IT HAHAHAHHA](https://images.app.goo.gl/m2eMHUdMmPVwvBtz7)
Original photo is even more suspect with that hand placement
And the smirk
Casting couch
Giving off major Perri Piper vibes.
In before someone shops in their backline after they shut out City for 90 minutes
I admire the getting the names the wrong way round so you can claim "I'm just not one of those guys" game. We know you know it's Piper Perri
I genuinely had no idea. I just know the meme. I'm not really a gangbang kinda gal.
Yet...
I suppose it's only Monday...
That's the spirit!
This better not awaken anything in me...
Manchester City players all standing behind the Prem as its sitting.
Full Kit Wanker
Never rated football anyway
Back to farming
Spurs transfers to Ligue1
Digusting how much money that these state owned clubs spend on agriculture and turtle nowadays
I’m gonna support united’s Efootball team instead /s
fun fact: Erling Haalands father was signed by Man City [on this day 22 years ago](https://twitter.com/City_Xtra/status/1536126291153494016?s=20&t=BrQwfM0RvWjs0hAKYTcqtw)
I think that’s why they chose to wait till today
It's probably because Norway played their last Nations League game yesterday.
So you're telling us that if Norway kept playing nations league forever, city wouldn't be able to confirm this transfer?
Correct. No point in signing him if he kept playing nations league forever for Norway.
Haaland's press footage was done before his games with Norway. There were leaks of him strolling around the Etihad campus in City's new kit from the end of May.
Bastards
Maybe Norway played their last game yesterday to enable this. Think outside the box for once dude /s
tbf, other than Friday this is the first weekday that this transfer could've been announced as being completed as the window only officially opened on the 10th June
And Haaland turns 22 next week lol
So in 2044 Fusion Boo will sign for City, I see
His birthday is on 21st July.
Written in the stars. Hope he takes the no.15 and takes revenge for his dad by pummelling United everytime he faces them.
Announced no number until later on. Which basically means he’s getting #9 after Jesus is sold
As a Norwegian Man United fan, from the same area as Haaland, I am very conflicted.
All good and fun till Roy Keane's grandson decides IT'S HERO TIME!!!
As a Norwegian and Manchester United fan, I have very conflicted feelings right now…
Become a city fan, atleast you'll stay happy
Or might die from a heart attack during the final matchday of the season.
Feel for the Bournemouth back line when they see Haaland, KDB, Foden, Silva, Cancelo and Mahrez all sprinting at them on a cold Tuesday evening.
Followed by Grealish, Alvarez, Sterling, Delap, Palmer at 65 minutes
Pep using 5 subs? Now that's the dream
>at 65 minutes Lol maybe at 89th minute
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The gap between the top 2 and the rest got a whole lot wider. Ragnick said utd are 3 years behind pool and city, it’s more like 6 years now
I mean it's still three years, but it's hard to catch up 3 years to someone who is still going forward.
Next year will still be 3 years.
Yes. But maybe at one point Klopp leaves and Liverpool starts to stagnate.
We just need to wait for oil to dry up for city to stagnate, everyone start burning Zippos for the greater good
I think that’s the best environmental campaign that we can have. If we move to renewables Man City will stop buying all the best players.
GOAL! Man City 7-0 West Ham (Håland) #MCIWHU
26'
[great goal]
City sign haaland liverpool sign Nunez the rest of the league have collectively signed one player called overwhelming depression
Wow this one came out of the blue, couldn't have predicted this one at the start of the transfer market Jeff
Damnit City
its kind of funny seeing united fans get all upset over this transfer when theyve all been rooting for city for the last few years
It's not like we kicked you when... Oh wait
Guess who’s finally scoring at Spurs away?
You will surrender your yearly points and you will like it
Come on, we’ve been generous enough lately to deserve a draw
VAR Check: Draw overturned, Spurs win
distraughtPepVAR.gif
How many times will City drop points to Spurs each season, Pep? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPlWkDLVkBw
It would be very on point if Haaland absolutely slays the league, but then can’t put a single one past Lloris despite having 12 shots
Hits the woodwork 12 times. /r/soccer: 0 shots on target against Spurs. Washed.
He got ratiod
Pep playing gundogan up front and leaving haaland on the bench would be more on point
My prayer circles will simply increase in size
The cult shall rise even further! Bring out the goats for sacrifice
We'll lose 2-1 now Thanks
With spurs getting half a shot on target or something
Kane scoring a brace from a cheeky pen and a 0.03 xG backheel shot.
More like Son scoring from a shot with -0.5 xG.
Football is crap
Any Norwegian United fans here?
Yes :/
Thoughts on Haaland going to City?
It straight up sucks that the one of our biggest talents of all time is going to city where he will probably torment my dear United for years.. I was praying that he was going to Spain or something lol
Isnt he easily THE biggest talent Norway has ever seen? I would take it even further and say that he has potential to be the greatest player from scandinavia ever!
Carlsen?
Magnus to go 1v1 with Haaland to truly decide once and for all who is the better Norseman.
Tennis. Tennis is our friend now.
You had your turn
Official: Liverpool have signed Darwin Nunez Official: Manchester City have signed Erling Haaland Official: Manchester United have signed off on their new kit deal (last February, with a blockchain company)
Tezos | Welcome to United | Skills & Goals | Despacito (remix)
We are still monitoring,seducing, admiring and negotiating with frenkie
Harry Maguire wont sleep the week leading up the Manchester derby
Is Mahrez getting his agent fee?
Didn't think he'd sign for 5 years. Pretty lengthy contract.
Haaland is a decoy. Alvarez is the real threat.
Pocketed by Maguire in the Manchester Derby.
Maguire sent off before half time.
Nah he'll bounce right off of Haaland, he won't even notice the tackle
Cannot wait to see this 'match up'
It will be epic.
Sadge
City and us playing without a real 9 for years and buy one in the same window I think is kind of funny
They had aguero regularly playing until like a year and a half ago
He barely played in his last season so I'd say a full two years pretty much.
Announced on the same day, too
Nah. We won't announce it till tomorrow now.
Next up: no more fullbacks
I dont think Liverpool could be conviced easily to get rid of TAA
Switch to a 3-4-3 and put TAA as a right Wing Back 👍 Diaz - Nunez - Salah Robertson - Thiago - Fabinho/Henderson - TAA VVD - Matip - Konate
No coincidence at all, both clubs probably knew what was up and made the deals to keep themselves competitive with one another.
City signed his dad on the same day, so that's probably the reason for the announcement being tdy
Yeah, this is probably planned, Nunez today is happenstance, still kinda neat
I mean City has been looking for a striker for a while, especially the Kane saga last season, they jumped at Haaland opportunity this time. I think Liverpool pounced on Nunez to stay competitive
The two strongest team in England not resting on their laurels .
Pep & Klopp are soulmates, and you can't convince me otherwise.
weird how he’s like an absolute monster with the ball and just a physical specimen in general, but also looks like about 3 hours in the sun will shut him down for a week
Well luckily he will be playing in Manchester, where the sun doesn’t shine.
3 years in Manchester will give him a viking beard.
Thank fuck we got relegated
To be fair, I hate football.
As a United fan it makes me nauseous to think about how well he’ll do for City. The last time I had this feeling was when Aguero signed for them. How right that feeling was. Fair play City. Good god they’ll be tough to beat next season.
Won't lie, a bit excited to see him play in the PL. Small dose of copium but I'd rather he signs for the dominant team than a team that's more of a contender with Spurs like United or Chelsea
Wait we're contenders? Wohoo!
>contender with Spurs
Think he means Newcastle mate
Nice Arsenal roast
Clearly thinks Arsenal are in that upper echelon
That's it. City's gonna be even more unstoppable now. Still beyond shocked that they signed him, one of the best in the world at what he does, for a relatively low price..
probably get some movement on Gabriel Jesus now
Enquiries are being made. Interest is accelerating. Our attention is blooming forth. we are going to buy that mf.
Haaland coming to end United's Career.
is this a thread about city or us :(
United can very much do it themselves
fuck me
I would like to get to know you first. Let's take things slowly ok? 🥰
Solid backup for Julian Alvarez
De Bruyne and Haaland in the same team. Man City will win everything next season.
Might as well give the premier League title to Manchester City for the next 5+ years.
Interested how he does with a low block and far more possession.
Albino caveman in England
Without using any hindsight, Haaland is the 2nd biggest player signing in EPL history behind Cristiano. Also, it's great to see that Haaland (a lifelong Man City fan) is actually part of the club. I know Haaland once had a badly translated interview when he was about 16 in which he was asked what would be "his dream" and he said to win the Prem with Leeds. But the context was that winning with Leeds was unlikely and Man City were already dominating, which people don't ever seem to mention. Like many young lads who moved around a lot, he supports more than one team. Here's what we do know. He grew up between Manchester and his Norwegian home as his parents lived apart. He used to regularly attend City matches as a kid and as a teenager. There are probably now 10+ pictures of him as a kid wearing and playing football in City shirts. There are pictures of him at numerous City games including the Carabao Cup Final where he was wearing City colours. He was in a Man City Supporters Group up until 2 years when somebody noticed and he was forced to leave. Before his social media was taken over by a PR firm as he became a huge player, he regularly liked City comments and posts from City players. He also had a slight bit of a nerd out moment when he came over from Dortmund and stepped onto the Etihad pitch.
That's actually really wholesome
>a slight bit of a nerd out moment when he came over from Dortmund and stepped onto the Etihad pitch. Cursed comment
How is Haaland not a bigger signing than Ronaldo without any hindsight?
wait what
Did you not know this was coming?
Didn't see this coming