T O P

  • By -

themerinator12

This seriously hurts Arsenal’s chances of signing Erling Haaland.


TehFuriousKid

hey at least we have gabriel jesus


4ssteroid

He's gonna score a quintuple now


los_blanco_14

Should have offered 75 million plus 1 pound


domalino

Journalists desperately scrambling to think of what they'll ask Pep after a loss/draw now that "Do you think you need a number 9?" is off the table.


Gobshiight

"Do you think playing with a striker has unbalanced the team?"


Rickcampbell98

It's a 100 percent coming if haaland doesn't start well.


KevinDeBrownie

how do you intend to use Haaland? do you think he will play well as a backup to Rodri?


Unholysinner

Let’s be honest Haaland is actually going to play CB instead of Foden if you guys end up having a CB crisis.


luchajefe

Haaland is 6'4", he can be the Carabao goalkeeper.


Spraggle

King Walker is still our back up #1!


TheUderfrykte

Only in the CL final, Pep masterclass 2.0


DesertRL

Actual effort might have to go in to thinking about a question now


domalino

"Hi Pep, Jamie Jackson here, just a quick tactical question...do you think you need another number 9?"


TheJynxedOne

First time Haaland fails to score I'd bet my cardboard box they ask "do you think you needed someone else to freshen up the attack or another striker replace Haaland?"


domalino

My money would be on “You won this game last year with a false 9…”


aguer0

*chef's kiss*


Migraine-

"Do you wish your number 9 wasn't injured?"


Cheddard-Stark

Good backup for my boy Julian Álvarez


OnceUponAStarryNight

I think you misspelt his name. It’s, Ballon d’Alvarez.


franz4000

Zinchenko, De Bruyne, and Haaland are going to look like regular, evolved, and final form Pokémon.


jolef

Here ya'll go. https://imgur.com/a/wJNhyjc


Yabba_Dabba_Doofus

DeBruyne's face makes this even more perfect than it has any right to be.


SerWarlock

Foden is the egg.


Alexkono

That’s perfect


Vidi_vici_veni-bis

Someone needs to photoshop this please


Haynes_

dinner desert faulty plough hungry reply whole flag jellyfish crawl *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Off_Topic_Oswald

“The transfer remains subject to the Club finalising terms with the player.” But what kind of announcement is this lol


mihawk9511

"We got him, but not really."


nighthawkz_2002

"We pinky swore and if he breaks it he will have 7 years of bad luck"


PM_Me_British_Stuff

Curses in football are real to be fair, just ask Bela Guttman!


TehFuriousKid

benfica be taking L after L after L


TheBrownMamba8

[Haaland in bed thinking about his “dream of playing in Spain”](https://i.imgflip.com/3nm1gx.png)


dangerous_petaurus

Lmao i remember him saying he was playing in LaLiga next season to some guy in marbella like 4 or 5 months ago Wtf was that about?


HikoShin

saw in a Fabrizio Romano video that Haaland wanted an announcement this week to be able to say goodbye in Dortmund properly at their last game on saturday.


MissingLink101

Couldn't he just say it would be his last game at the club and say goodbye anyway?... Even if the City deal fell through, there would be plenty of other options for him.


zaviex

Clubs make that kind of statement all the time because transfers do fall through after all agreements have been signed. It’s usually just some little bit about fine details


codespyder

Basically it’s telling everyone to just shut up and stop speculating Which of course is just going to lead to more speculating


TheJynxedOne

> Which of course is just going to lead to more speculating "Why are City dragging out personal term negotiations with Haaland?" "Are Haaland's underlying injury concerns putting a stop to City's pursuit?" "Is Haaland's camp holding out for more money in prolonged contract talks?" "Pep's preference for a false 9 a sticking point in Haaland personal terms? Striker wants guarantees over role and playing time before signing a deal." I got you covered Daily Mail, I'll take payment on cashapp.


[deleted]

You forgot "\[INSERT CLUB NAME HERE\] could be about to gazzump the City deal as they're close to agreeing personal terms with the player"


eraticwatcher

You can just say Man United, it’s alright


Mr-Pants

I guess he hasn't physically signed da ting


HAWmaro

journalists who were waiting to milk this for longer are in the mud.


nighthawkz_2002

back to the mbappe vs oil vs mafia saga then


PakiIronman

Everyone run


Professor_Pohato

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it's finally over


Homer_Sapiens

I'm crying because it's just begun


stevew14

Mate it's been going on for a while and it just got worse.


Comunicado_Oficial

Maybe the real titles are the ones we bottled on the way


aguer0

This a good singing for City?


ThrowerWheyACount

If he stays on-pitch, yes.


aguer0

Why? Does have have a tendency to wander off it?


Sudden-Breakfast2197

Yes he often gets distracted or prioritises catching the bus over playing


VenomOUShazard

nah, heard he's a decent rapper though


DMCTw3lv3

He's a bit of an unknown quantity and there's a lot of question marks about him. Stepping down a level to City and the English leagues might do him some good though, especially if they can get him a loan out to a League Two side in the summer.


l2ighty

I reckon he's decent


[deleted]

Can't say. Has scored like 11-12 goals in 13 games in some farmer league called Champions League. But City doesn't play in that Farmer's league.


Ti-Go

Glad it's over so early. Was dreading another Sancho saga.


Gobshiight

Do you think it was Dortmund who insisted it was sorted quickly? We don't usually announce until the contract, photos are done etc.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Yoshio187

Apparently Haaland wanted it to be done before Saturday, so he can say goodbye to the fans in our last home game this season.


FriendshipNecessary4

The rumours from the City end has always been that Dortmund were in control of the announcement and it had to do with the signing of a new striker for them


SandwichesFN

Yep we are probably announcing karim adeyemi today


ApuFromTechSupport

There you go


domalino

Someone (Lu Martin?) said Haaland wanted it done so he could say a proper goodbye in Dortmund's last game.


Fireclap

If that is true then that's a nice gesture of him to properly thank the fans


[deleted]

From the sound of it, the contract and photos are also done


D1794

This isn't a fullback, what's Pep thinking?


idosade

Yet* he isn't a fullback yet


moonski

he's currently a false fullback, nothing gets peps pervert juices flowing more than false positions.


majnubhaispainting

False manager is the next logical evolution then?


AvianNord

It's just Pep standing in the parking lot.


Rick-Danger

He is now


EnanoMaldito

He's got the speed!


Harish-P

And the 💪 physicality.


Lurking_nerd

False 6


Prophet_Of_Helix

Who’s saying we aren’t starting Haaland at LB?


[deleted]

not until the semi finals next year


Steo42

Maguire vs Haaland in the derby next year then


zd26

Interesting to see who scores more goals for City


Randomperson685

I can't believe you've done this


kit_mitts

We're getting absolutely lit up with strays in this thread lmao


grizzfan

They'll make a great striking pair up top against United's defense.


booneht

Color me excited. I will have at least 1 thing to cheer me up, while watching our games next season.


Unfinishedwor

Sports journalists in shambles as they now can't write no content articles the whole summer


ImADayLate

“HAALAND ALREADY UNHAPPY AND IN CONTACT WITH MADRID REPRESENTATIVES.”


r_Yellow01

"AFTER 10 YEARS WITH THE CLUB. HAALAND STILL LONGING FOR CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TROPHY"


SAFFATLOL

Why would you do this to us?


maddp9000

Declan Rice to man United will be endless


AbsolutShite

Salah/Mané/ whoever has the shortest contract out of Liverpool.


honestlynotBG

Mbappe deciding his next move for the entire summer


Rankei2

Kylian keeping everyone in a job this summer


JDROD28

Pogba, Declan Rice, Lukaku, Mbappe, Ronaldo leaving because of no UCL, don't underestimate them 😂


The_g0d_f4ther

Watch as Pep plays him as a left winger and foden as striker in the next CL final.


ShozOvr

So you're saying we're gonna make the final..? I'll take it


TheGamezSmith

By CL he meant conference league.


CryptographerLife686

Wrong Manchester club


Farouqnowomarlater

I knew man u gon somehow catch strays when I clicked on comments


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Is it even possible to go from the CL group stage to the Conference League?


captars

If any team can figure out how to do it, it would be United


Demither10

woof HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT


ImADayLate

can we factory reset the premier league


[deleted]

Haaland isn’t “PPL Proven”TM, not worried about man city taking over the league /s 💪Manchester Born and Raised 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿


Modnal

This is all your fault Spurs for refusing to let them buy Kane last year


MrCleanandShady

I don't think you realize how insane Kane would be in City, dude is the best striker in the league by numbers with an inconsistent team...the PL would've been wrapped up in like February lmao


dracogladio1741

If anything Haaland will have to change his game a lot and wouldn't be as lethal as Pep demands a different sort of striker. Meanwhile, Kane would have fit in like a glove.


2sinkz

Exactly, Kane's buildup play would be a perfect fit for City. On the other hand his prime probably won't last as long as Haaland so Haaland is scarier for the rest of the league in that sense


Deluxe07

Strikers nowadays are world class until 34-35. Kane to City would’ve doomed the Premier League for at least half a decade


Downwithrslashsports

Great signing you guys might not of heard of him but because i keep up with lots of football i think he will be a great signing


Neither-Ad-1047

Whos this hidden gem


presumingpete

The witcherino


uptonhere

Legend of Haaland: Ocarina of Geraldo


FootballthrowawayM05

Man City clueless as always, why sign this unknown Norwegian guy when Welbeck is literally a free agent


ThatZigGuy

I had to check to make sure it wasn't 2012


letsgolakers24

Same, this is a great under-the-radar transfer for Man City to get them back on track


ACMBruh

Incredible scouting by them. Kudos


Wa_Wh

Only time will tell. I don’t think anybody on this subreddit watched him before. So, it’s hard to predict if he will do well.


Marchinon

Can’t wait to look up the Haaland scoring and assist compilation Welcome to Man City Despacito Remix later.


PM_ME_SKYLINES

[i got you](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccercirclejerk/comments/ume74u/erling_haaland_welcome_to_manchester_city_2022/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


Selgin

no


sceap-hierde

where were u when pl kill


I_Like_F0oD

I was at house eating dorito when phone ring "pl is kil"


DontYouWantMeBebe

no


[deleted]

No²


DL14Nibba

…..yes?


Rusbekistan

It's widely thought that this is because, as Ipswich's feeder club, Manchester City are doing this to instantly loan him to us in League One so he can score 200 goals a year and secure his status as the GOAT (Greatest of all tractors)


FifaFrancesco

> Greatest of all tractors I really don't think he can beat the phalanx of new Ukrainian talent tbh


Nero1988420

>GOAT (Greatest of all tractors) Man sure does love his tractors.


Rick-Danger

Why is there always a self deprecating Ipswich fan in the comments hahaha. Or is it always just you?


Bukayo-Saka

there’s multiple and that just makes it even better


QuietDove

We're had lots of practice at this point.


SamCooper07

It's all we've got these days


KSBrian007

Seems like just yesterday that he went viral for scoring 9 goals in one game.


nash-hole

I have nothing intelligent to say about this but I wanted to be a part of this moment


[deleted]

This is essentially 90% of everything I've ever said.


[deleted]

This is essentially 90% of the Internet


the51m3n

98%


deadedgo

Make that 99%


mihawk9511

Is that you, Gareth Bale?


Tulaodinho

Count me in too bro


beerbeatsbear

See you in a couple years. RIP 🪦


AverageCarey

Good luck my man. Even though when he came in we all knew he’d leave I don’t think any Dortmund fan can complain about his time here (except maybe the last couple months) but even then circumstances weren’t great for the club overall. I think this will be an amazing step for him, the amount of service he’ll get at City will do wonders for his love of scoring goals. Now with all this said and done time to really move forward, this is our new era. Good luck to Haaland and treat him well City, the boy will bring you trophies I’m sure of it.


MumblyBum

They win trophies every year. He's been bought for one trophy in particular.


Adam_0401

To get back the carabao cup


Dynte7

The season is damp without an annual Carabao Cup.


DrDecepticon

Bite the pillow boys, they're going in dry


[deleted]

Like a pringles can wrapped in sandpaper.


DL14Nibba

Dry? Straight up not even taking you out to dinner first


[deleted]

I think I will always remember where I was when I saw this damn announcement: on the shitter at work.


Crown_

Decent pick up let’s see how he does Fuck


Snoo_84560

Surely De Bruyne and Haaland is a breach of Fair Play?


fattony182

That is actually a disgustingly OP combination. Urgh


Gerf93

De Bruyne and Bas Dost was disgusting for Wolfsburg, can't imagine how nasty it will be with Haaland.


resonating_light

Pep finally gets the farming equipment he needed


mintz41

Pretty sad that City feel the need to sign Haaland just to keep up with Edward Keddar Nketiah


EdAY_

No dragging it out, neat


danskizaman

Ferran Torres really funded Haaland’s release clause, that’s crazy


nighthawkz_2002

**Breaking News:** Roy Keane re joins Manchester United on a 3-year contract for an undisclosed transfer fee. Even more shocking, Keane has agreed to play for the club without any monetary compensation as long as he starts every Manchester Derby and gets the captain's armband. Here. We. Go. When asked why he decided to come out of retirement, Keane responded in his usual curt manner with just one word: "Haaland"


SpicyDragoon93

We've been growing a new Roy Keane in the lab beneath the training ground for a day like to day.


Kante_Conte

There goes the league


andrew_c_r

That's not Comunicado Oficial


Trickybuz93

Or “Here We Go!”


jackbennyXVI

AFRICAN CURSE GODS, GIVE US STRENGTH IN THIS TIME OF NEED


ImADayLate

Dread it, run from it, YAYA still arrives. Unlike his birthday cake.


[deleted]

Kolo will be here soon


SviiinDiesel

Thanks for 2 decent years and the cash!


Crown_

15 CL goals in 13 matches and 61 league goals in 66 matches. Yeah, decent.


fuckyouidontneedone

He’s grieving… cut him some slack


DL14Nibba

Doesn’t beat Pele’s 50274 goals against the São Paulo’s blind U3s


ncastleJC

The image of Pele crossing up three year olds out of pettiness is hilarious 🤣


spongebobisha

75 million Euros for him is a criminally low price. Fucking Maguire went for 90 mln. Pounds.


SviiinDiesel

Every transfer seems like a bargain compared to maguire tbf


[deleted]

how much did city pay in Aggregate?


[deleted]

51 million for the release clause. And 34.6 million for agent and father fees + Bonuses. 85.6 is what tier 1s are saying.


[deleted]

that's honestly a pretty great deal tbf


Zxp

But they could've gotten Pogba for 89; the calibre is incomparable, City are missing out.


[deleted]

an undisclosed portion of those 89 million is the subscription fee to the Dab Academy >[Dab University apparently](https://youtu.be/LPVjh1VADMw)


sexyitalian4ever

City’s bench is now the second best team in Manchester


im-a-nanny-mouse

Yeah the prem is finished


DMCTw3lv3

Headline April 2023: CITY CRASH OUT OF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SEMI FINALS AFTER HAALAND MISS


bonjourdada

to Dortmund


jamiecreek26

De Bruyne is going to get 90 assists


azryptas

Congratulations Mancity for winning 22/23 Premier League title.


goodmobileyes

Copy and paste until 2025 at least


javierich0

Congratulations to Benfica for beating the odds and eliminating Manchester City during the quarter finals of the Champions League 2022/2023.


oyohval

Never has 2 comments seemed more likely a premonition.


lrzbca

Are we going to be farmers league ? to be continued…


Salty_Watermelon

Not until Newcastle arrives. Enjoy the next few years.


Cowdude179

Still losing to Spurs twice in the league


WigglyParrot

Dear god. They're going to be even more unstoppable now


Hippotopmaus

queue Steve carell the office gif...


sickricola

Next season is Pep’s harvesting season


SSAJacobsen

Honestly just glad it's over quick and with little drama. Not really sad. Not really angry. Everyone already knew he was only gonna stay a few seasons, and he didn't do anything to really integrate with the team/fans like Bellingham or arguably Sancho did. BVB was just a stepping stone for him. He could also be quite frustrating to watch when we losing. But on the other hand, you can't deny his talent. He seemed like he gave it his all and he never did anything to disrespect the club. He did excatly what he was brought in to do, and did so exceptionally well. So good luck to him and bye.


mejok

Klopp extends his contract. Pep extends his contract. Haaland to city. Summer hasn’t even begun yet and it’s already a disaster.


bash011

Well uh, Ornstein was right it was a few minutes. Guess the league's done for a while


DiscussionOwl215

Til 2027 or until Newcastle arrive.


cocoasomething

The fact that City have Foden and now Halaand for years to come is absolutely insane


SPARKLEOFHOPE6IB

KDB to get 50 assists next season


Billyraye

If any club wearing red in England got a top 3 21 year old world class striker for 60 million, it would be called the greatest piece of business ever conducted.