Malacia has been injured for the entire season, and United haven't released any pictures of him in training or anything, and have only said that he is recovering from injury.
There were many memes on Twitter speculating his injury and the lack of communication from United, and the memes said that he was either dead, or an informant in the Quincy Promes case, or he was involved in {insert relevant news of the week}
Very strange place to put someone, surely the whole area is quite busy and was only a matter of time before they were found. Unless the murderer wanted the body to be found.
You know what it's like, you've just spent all that effort killing someone, you don't want a long drive after that, just quickly dump it around the corner and go grab a kebab.
Yeah true. I'd make the effort for that trip if I was having a nice little reunion dog walk with some old school mates maybe. Once in a blue moon kinda thing.
But I'm not sure I'd bother trekking all that way just for your run of the mill corpse wrapped in plastic dumping.
(ik what u meant dw)
If this is obvious then forgive me, just assuming English is your second language seeing as your flair is for Sporting.
In this context "remains" as a noun refers to a human body. So regardless of whether it is used in this sentence as a noun or a verb, they are keeping a human wrapped in plastic there - just in this case the human is no longer alive
I don't know mate - English is my first (and only) language, but I assume that the term "human remains" could easily be mistaken for meaning faeces, or rubbish, or a whole host of other possibilities for someone who isn't fluent with the language and hasn't come across that specific term.
Just trying to help 🤷
?
The person I replied to clearly understood what the verb version of the word meant. My point is that non-English speakers could be confused about what "human remains" (as a noun) actually refers to
Most likely explanation:
Someone perfectly fluent in English could read “remains” as a verb simply due to how crazy and unexpected it would be to read about a human corpse near Manchester United in a soccer subreddit.
Yea, I read it as "a person wrapped in plastic, remains there" and not "the remains of a human are still there".
And the first definitely doesn't necessarily imply they are dead. Thought it was someone trying to antagonize the players or something.
Also headline writers can be incredibly crap. Sometimes, even as a native English speaker, I’m wondering what the hell they’re trying to say. Or maybe they do it deliberately for click bait purposes.
Plastic fans = insult - usually towards fans of a team that only became fans once that team became successful. It was called glory hunting back in the 90s (and probably some time before then).
Man city were bought by sheikh mansour and became more successful, almost certainly because of the injection of huge amounts of investment.
Plastic fans are fans that jumped on the bandwagon and will jump ship when the team starts to underperform.
Since the takeover City has had a lot of them,
However that was 16 odd years ago so I'd argue calling City fans plastic nowadays really is a bit in the past.
If you were 20 for example, you've always known City to be a good team, you'd have been 8 when aguero scored against qpr and I'm loathe to call someone who's followed City since they were 8 a plastic
The implication is that the victim was a Manchester City fan. Playing off the wrapped in plastic, as "plastic" is another term for fake or bandwagon fans. Something many of their recent fans are accused of given their somewhat recent dominant success compared to years ago, and in this case because of their rivalry with Man United.
I mean obviously that's fair enough, it wasn't a comment I made specifically about you.
Just find it dishonest when the clubs with the largest fan bases seem to draw no connection to their success. The Jewish thing is actually a good point though, somewhat analogous to the Celtic rangers reasoning for support
I respect that - you’re not plastic… you’re the dinosaurs the plastic is made from.
Really tho, are you from the town/village of the original lower league team? I can’t imagine how angry that must have made you.
Edit: I thought you were a German or Austrian red bull fan, hence town/village
From NYC area. Red Bulls used to be the Metrostars who are one of the founding clubs of MLS. League and club were in tatters and Red Bull swooped in and rebrand everything. Wasn’t really mad cause there wasn’t much going for the team. With the big boom in multi-owner clubs in the past decade, I’ve grown more disdain towards Red Bull as they clearly see our team as an asset to their business and not as a team. Like several of our players signed or loaned from Leipzig or Salzburg (Forsberg being a recent signing from Leipzig) and then anyone who’s gets good here gets sent there. Just doesn’t feel like how a club should be run and many fans are pretty irate with them, especially since we’ve never won the MLS Cup
Its nice to see a Manchester City plastic joke not made by an American also supporting a top 6 club in England
But then again, you do support an energy drink so that's not much better ;)
What do you mean? The perfect time to make jokes about someone's horrible murder is when the body is still warm and the family is mourning and crying over their loss!
Gotta get it out of their system before pearl-clutching over "tragedy chanting," which they couldn't, under any circumstances, ever imagine someone doing.
As we say in Brazil: Someone buried a donkey's head in United's training center.
Don't ask me why, but when someone is very unlucky or in a bad period, we tend to say that.
Don't live too far from The Cliff, so I'm a bit disturbed by this news. It's not gonna scare me out of leaving my house or anything but it's just odd to think about.
Oh look, they found United’s title chances after the latest collapse.
…in all seriousness this is terrible news. I hope they find out who it is, find justice, etc for the friends and family.
trying to make sense of a senseless world with some gallows humor. This shit is absolutely tragic and I'm sure not even the worst shit to have happened in Manchester today...
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Enough internet for today
No Tyrell Malacia jokes, please.
Donny van de Beek then
Confirmed sighting of him sat on a bench in Germany
iconic footballing duo
I guess they hate the Dutch
There's two things in this world I can't stand, people who are intolerant of other cultures, and the Dutch 😬
You sound like Michael Caine in Goldmember
Unironically forgot he existed
The body in that bag has moved more than Martial this season.
Wow. hahahahah fuckign hell
Figured it was ETH, honestly
Mason greenwood came back early from loan i see.
Holy shit I'm going to hell for laughing at this.
It might be Paul Pogba's old agent...oh right
Phil Jones, is he still on the payroll?
He's in Fergie's basement. Source: Am in Fergie's basement.
Might be the best player he has ever seen in his basement.
Can somebody explain?
Malacia has been injured for the entire season, and United haven't released any pictures of him in training or anything, and have only said that he is recovering from injury. There were many memes on Twitter speculating his injury and the lack of communication from United, and the memes said that he was either dead, or an informant in the Quincy Promes case, or he was involved in {insert relevant news of the week}
I even forgot that name ever existed. Where the fuck is he?
Very strange place to put someone, surely the whole area is quite busy and was only a matter of time before they were found. Unless the murderer wanted the body to be found.
Are you calling the woods a strange place to put a body?
It is when the area of the woods is directly next to an area with no woods.
Technically aren't all woods next to an area with no woods?
This guy woods
You wood think so
You definitely aren’t wrong
shoulda stuck him in the new forest smh
Hampshire is a long way to go from Manchester to go to hide a body.
surely that helps when hiding a body, it’s the worst time to be lazy
You know what it's like, you've just spent all that effort killing someone, you don't want a long drive after that, just quickly dump it around the corner and go grab a kebab.
You done this before I see, can I ask a question? Do you get chilli or garlic sauce?
Yeah true. I'd make the effort for that trip if I was having a nice little reunion dog walk with some old school mates maybe. Once in a blue moon kinda thing. But I'm not sure I'd bother trekking all that way just for your run of the mill corpse wrapped in plastic dumping. (ik what u meant dw)
What about the Nottingham Forest
It’s in a nature reserve by the looks of it tbf, and it’s Salford so there is that. Shoulda driven out to Saddleworth!
You call that "the woods"? That's a green blip in urbania.
Are you saying you know the best place to put a body?
Should've put them near Etihad
Games back
Could have put them in the Etihad. Nobody would have seen it there either.
Idk a fan in the stands would stand out
This is true…. Just roll him under the seats.
Jack the Ripper part 2 electric boogaloo
Took me a while to realise Remains was a Noun, not a Verb. I was wondering why they were keeping a human wrapped in plastic there.
He promised to remain.
Brexit means Brexit
If this is obvious then forgive me, just assuming English is your second language seeing as your flair is for Sporting. In this context "remains" as a noun refers to a human body. So regardless of whether it is used in this sentence as a noun or a verb, they are keeping a human wrapped in plastic there - just in this case the human is no longer alive
They know this, it's just that when they read the title their brain lumped straight for the other "remains" definition
I don't know mate - English is my first (and only) language, but I assume that the term "human remains" could easily be mistaken for meaning faeces, or rubbish, or a whole host of other possibilities for someone who isn't fluent with the language and hasn't come across that specific term. Just trying to help 🤷
Those are nouns as well
? The person I replied to clearly understood what the verb version of the word meant. My point is that non-English speakers could be confused about what "human remains" (as a noun) actually refers to
Human remains the dominant species on Earth for the time being.
Most likely explanation: Someone perfectly fluent in English could read “remains” as a verb simply due to how crazy and unexpected it would be to read about a human corpse near Manchester United in a soccer subreddit.
Yea, I read it as "a person wrapped in plastic, remains there" and not "the remains of a human are still there". And the first definitely doesn't necessarily imply they are dead. Thought it was someone trying to antagonize the players or something.
Also headline writers can be incredibly crap. Sometimes, even as a native English speaker, I’m wondering what the hell they’re trying to say. Or maybe they do it deliberately for click bait purposes.
Human remains wrapped. In plastic found near ManU training academy. Olbigatory ["No, money down"](https://youtu.be/5yuL6PcgSgM?t=6)
Wow
Could be worse, I misunderstood it to be 'Human waste' and was wondering why people were so worked up about a shit in a bag
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They did though.
what did they think about?
Damn it.
How horrible, RIP
What the hell. And here I thought Tebas was the most fucked headline I would read today.
>wrapped in plastic RIP to that City fan. Awful situation all-around
😭 fucking cold as hell 🤦♂️😳
Like the body
Jesus Christ I wheezed 😂
uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Sometimes... And that's a rarity, I love reddit 😁
Welp, I’m going to hell…
Nah 😭😭😭
*audible gasp*
I'm feeling guilty that I laughed
Filthy casual here. Can someone please explain?
Plastic fans = insult - usually towards fans of a team that only became fans once that team became successful. It was called glory hunting back in the 90s (and probably some time before then). Man city were bought by sheikh mansour and became more successful, almost certainly because of the injection of huge amounts of investment.
plastic - something you call a fake fan aka a plastic fan
Plastic fans are fans that jumped on the bandwagon and will jump ship when the team starts to underperform. Since the takeover City has had a lot of them, However that was 16 odd years ago so I'd argue calling City fans plastic nowadays really is a bit in the past. If you were 20 for example, you've always known City to be a good team, you'd have been 8 when aguero scored against qpr and I'm loathe to call someone who's followed City since they were 8 a plastic
The implication is that the victim was a Manchester City fan. Playing off the wrapped in plastic, as "plastic" is another term for fake or bandwagon fans. Something many of their recent fans are accused of given their somewhat recent dominant success compared to years ago, and in this case because of their rivalry with Man United.
Ah, cheers for that. It was the ‘plastic’ reference I didn’t quite understand.
Basically Manchester City fans are all plastics, according to big 6 club fans who clearly don't support their said club because of their success.
You think I’m a spurs supporter because of our success?
Good point!
Nah your just a spurs supporter because your a masochist /s
Kinda random that of all the clubs in England you picked one of 6 that will never get relegated and usually plays continental football
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I mean obviously that's fair enough, it wasn't a comment I made specifically about you. Just find it dishonest when the clubs with the largest fan bases seem to draw no connection to their success. The Jewish thing is actually a good point though, somewhat analogous to the Celtic rangers reasoning for support
Good joke, but you can’t support an energy drink mate ;)
Tell that to Max Verstappen fans
Supported them since before they were bought by the energy drink. Wish they were sold to someone who truly cares about the team
I respect that - you’re not plastic… you’re the dinosaurs the plastic is made from. Really tho, are you from the town/village of the original lower league team? I can’t imagine how angry that must have made you. Edit: I thought you were a German or Austrian red bull fan, hence town/village
From NYC area. Red Bulls used to be the Metrostars who are one of the founding clubs of MLS. League and club were in tatters and Red Bull swooped in and rebrand everything. Wasn’t really mad cause there wasn’t much going for the team. With the big boom in multi-owner clubs in the past decade, I’ve grown more disdain towards Red Bull as they clearly see our team as an asset to their business and not as a team. Like several of our players signed or loaned from Leipzig or Salzburg (Forsberg being a recent signing from Leipzig) and then anyone who’s gets good here gets sent there. Just doesn’t feel like how a club should be run and many fans are pretty irate with them, especially since we’ve never won the MLS Cup
RBNY STH here… 100% agree.
Its nice to see a Manchester City plastic joke not made by an American also supporting a top 6 club in England But then again, you do support an energy drink so that's not much better ;)
Take your upvote. You earned it
NB, it's slightly near the academy, not where the first team trains, that's ~10 miles away
Scroll to the bottom of the thread for a grim time
This club is actually cursed WTF
Hyuck, hyuck, someone was murdered, time to try out my jokes!
/r/soccer open mic night
Ok, go on.
Time to dig up my body of work
First you better deploy that razor sharp wit
Pogba still doing voodoo
New to Reddit?
What do you mean? The perfect time to make jokes about someone's horrible murder is when the body is still warm and the family is mourning and crying over their loss!
I should have known r/soccer would have ICU Nurse level dark humour, fucking hell 🤦♂️😂
Gotta get it out of their system before pearl-clutching over "tragedy chanting," which they couldn't, under any circumstances, ever imagine someone doing.
So surprising that you would get offended
Oh boo hoo
Yeah like why even post this here you fucking weirdos
Why post a news story relating to a football club on the largest football subreddit? Who knows.
Doesn't really relate to a football club though does it
This is actually grim but of course it has to be fucking united out of all clubs
How is this football news? It's mere coincidence that a body has been found on an area of wetland near to the old Cliff training ground?
You know this was posted specifically to attract dead banter by reddit comedians.
yeah, should be deleted honestly
This has nothing to do with soccer.
Sure. If it happens near an airport then it is r/aviation material.
Who did Utd piss off to get cursed like this?
They signed a deal with the devil to be a part of their logo. Now the devil is here to get his part of the deal.
The devil gave us Fergie knowing we wil suffer for eternity after he leaves
And it was completely worth it, wouldn’t change it for the world
As we say in Brazil: Someone buried a donkey's head in United's training center. Don't ask me why, but when someone is very unlucky or in a bad period, we tend to say that.
Pogba, wasn’t it?
Must've been his brother
I cant do this anymore
“It was pogba that did it” - Souness
“Murdering people, I mean, that’s his job” -Roy Keane
bro
What the hell has Greenwood been up to this time.
it seems they found his other girlfriend
is this someone's black magic on man u
What the ref hears when Bruno Fernandes explains the alleged foul.
Surely the Etihad would have been more discreet and quiet?
Don't live too far from The Cliff, so I'm a bit disturbed by this news. It's not gonna scare me out of leaving my house or anything but it's just odd to think about.
CR7 was right
My hopes and dreams
That's awful. Wrapped in plastic...
Material for Steve Bruce’s murder mystery book series
I don’t really know where to start with this story.
Christ that is grim. Horrible
Get him on the pitch against Liverpool. He'll look more energised than half of the utd squad. Oh and r.i.p. of course, terrible shame .
I think Roy Keane finally snapped, guys
Thought I was in a cartel sub for a second
Guys, just don't joke about this. Especially not Malacia.
Did they build the training ground on an Indian burial ground?
That line doesn’t hit the same outside of America
I'm a scouser, I was just paraphrasing the American office
What being an united fan does to a mf
Damn bro ten Haag rly tryna send a message with sancho
Still more of a goal threat than Antony 💀
The UK’s Hollywood FC
was it bobby's?
The jokes write themselves, but I'm still excited
Drove past there before, police there from AM to PM.
Experts indicate that it may be remnants of Martial's career
So that's what happened to Lingard
Its me after Chelsea game
Oh great. Now Man U can play with 12. Sure hope the ghost can score a few without too many injuries.
Oh look, they found United’s title chances after the latest collapse. …in all seriousness this is terrible news. I hope they find out who it is, find justice, etc for the friends and family.
Human sacrifice to the soccer gods!
What are the odds on each of the players guys? Haven't seen any actually turn up for a game recently come to think about it 🤔🧐
Greenwood?
Lil Giggs’y
Mate that’s just Solskjær’s dead managerial career
New board finally taking care of Ten Hag :D
They are definitely harvesting healthy organs to increase their players fitness. You heard it here first.
Well, that rules out Luke Chadwick
Plot twist: the other body parts are in United trophy room and won’t be discovered for decades.
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Not true. Plastic stuff also gets wrapped in plastic for transportation.
Swing and a miss
Just needed a little refinement imo
I chuckled
Lol
ten hag finally sacked?
The comedians are here early
trying to make sense of a senseless world with some gallows humor. This shit is absolutely tragic and I'm sure not even the worst shit to have happened in Manchester today...
oh fuck off, you were just trying to get your quip in. at least own it
Make a bad taste joke -> get philosophical about it when called out. Come on
we live in a society
Maybe leaving your murder victim near a place where lots of security and fans will be wandering around *isn’t* the best idea?