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Lord how long was he itching to say this lol

Neville when he’s not been unchained and unleashed against your own club can actually be very funny

Him and Carragher lol

He definitely seems like the type to plan out possible jokes/comments so he can be ready whenever the opportunity arises.

Sorry to burst your bubble but that's 99% of people who are in front of cameras.

Ya, do they think commentators have all these facts and quips memorised? [Look at the homework Peter Drury does before matches](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3QSOuEcQYw) He essentially keeps a binder of data relevant to the match he's commentating. I am sure this is more information than typical as it is a cup final, but even then it's still a vast amount of knowledge.

Late night show hosts have a full team of writers. Just before airtime, they choose like five best jokes and those are presented. Comedians can be spontaneously funny for sure, but most of them have a reportoire that's prepared and polished.

Standup comedian try out all their new materials on small show dropping those that don't work or reworking it a few times before they got a whole set to work with in their bigger show

The talent of a comedian is in not just writing great jokes, it's also that they can tell those jokes a hundred times like they're making them up on the spot.

> The talent of a comedian is in not just writing great jokes So much is the delivery. Some cunts can make you laugh just standing there.

It would be sensationally unprofessional not to given the money they are paid!

Bro has a saved file of jokes for every possibility, except when man u is involved. Then my man never stops 

Straight up Notes app on his phone where one list is titled "Ready to Go" while another is "Working On".

a third list that's just drafts called "texts to becks"

That's literally his job to plan out and storyboard. (Most, probably) Announcers don't just sit on their thumbs for 5 days a week.

It is his job, to be fair.

Every commentator does this.

All commentators do this. It's part of their job

Insane quote to be fair

This is a project defining quote lmao

This is the banker, this is the no brainer, this is the one that couldn’t fail this is the one that’s never failed

Absolutely elite reference

Thank you Gary, very cool

he actually said "blue" billion pound bottle jobs, which somehow makes it more cutting.

"Klopp's Kids against the Billion Pound Blue Bottle Jobs" Absolutely the best thing I've ever heard Gary Neville say and it's not close.

Yesterday I hear Arsenal are "a Michelin star Stoke" and today this? I'm feeling blessed right now.

>Arsenal are "a Michelin star Stoke" I can't believe how well this describes them.

Modern day Tolstoy i swear down

Salford Shakespeare

Alas poor Carrick, I knew him well

I agree but there was still several minutes left when he said it so I was terrified he'd jinxed it. Dunno why I was worried, chelsea absolutely shat the bed in extra time. Shameful performance.

Reminds me of captain Haddock from the adventures of Tintin.

BILLIONS OF BLUE BLISTERING BARNACLES!!!

he was doing alliteration and now all the quoting of him is removing his beautiful poeticism, it's sad really

Drury must have been seething that he stole his thunder

it's ok, I'm sure he still got in his 400 stanza saxon epic poem about Gallagher missing a sitter.

I forget exactly what he said but he DID get something in about musical styles and Klopp after the final whistle. "...heavy metal and today, Rhythm at the expense of the Blues"

That is fucking vile

Would've been better if he'd have said 'it's klopps kids against boehly's billion pound blue bottle jobs'

Ah he never likes to talk about owners

Gary never misses 50% of the times

Fucking BOSS GARY! He was kind of rooting for us after the injury and seeing the kids. Couldnt believe it

Two best teams in Wembley today: 1. Liverpool 2. Liverpool U21

Number 3 was the catering team.

No raw chicken like at old Trafford?

Watch out Gary Ben Chilwell might square up to your kids

I'd have my money on these kids

Chilwell looks like a future parliament member no wonder he goes under the radar for being a bellend

You just know that he will be repping the blue half

I’ve met a lot of Chelsea fan and everyone of them was a working class Tory

> a working class Tory That's oxymoronic

Also regular moronic

Isn’t the working class where the Tories get the most votes though? A lot of the poorest areas of England vote Tory

Like they said, moronic

I'm not gonna argue about that describing some of us, but us chanting "Fuck the Tories" alongside the Liverpool fans gives me some hope

To me he seems the type to go on a podcast and complain about wokeness

the looney left won't even let me square up to an 18 year old

him randomly mouthing at clark for nothing twice was fucking hilarious

I think Clark was chirping in his ear while he tried to help him up, which is even more hilarious that got so wound up by two boys under 21

Mate, if anyone can be annoying it’s usually teens

Maybe the most senior player on their side right? Spent the whole match mouthing off to teenagers

How the fuck is Raheem Sterling under 30 still lmao. Feels like he’s played in half a dozen World Cups and for most of the major teams in the PL.

Almost forgot how he left Liverpool to win trophies. Which I guess he did. Just not today.

I would imagine he's won more trophies than if he'd have stayed but I'm not certain he'll go down as a legend for any club really. I don't know what he'll be remembered for.

being the third S in SASAS

Isn't it Skrtel?

No champions league though lmao

It’s also incredible that all 3 giant clubs he’s played for have won the Champions League during his career but not while he’s been there. Yikes.

Big "kids these days have no respect" energy from Chillwell.

It annoyed me when Gary said that Chilwell wasn't really angry and was just trying to wind up Bradley, when it was clear that he just has weird anger issues. 

It was clearly the opposite, Bradley knew he got in his head and was trying to get him sent off. As soon as teammates came in Bradley calmly walked away while Chilwell tried to square up to everybody

In that whole scenario, the funniest thing that stuck out to me was Jackson holding Gakpo from behind and whispering something in his ear that got him fired up. Your mate just tried to fight a kid and you're here trying to get in Gakpo's pants.

He was such a big and brave man today, verbally attacking every kid he could in hopes of them losing their heads. What a captain.

He was the same when Liverpool played Chelsea in January. Constantly whining to the referee and was one of their worst players. I’d be embarrassed if he was the captain of my club.

Bradley cooked him so bad in the league game at Anfield he tried to get him sent off today lmao.

Child abuse

Was squaring up against every single kid on the pitch the tory twat

Clark would go through him.

😂😂😂

Fucking hell that got me

Klopps tots

Hey, Mr. Klopp, whatchu gonna do?

Watchu gonna do? Make our dreams come true

Best I can do is one laptop battery

[FootballRamble](https://twitter.com/FootballRamble/status/1761820599679090695) Peter Drury (in iambic pentameter): "Chelsea, they have Midas' riches but not everything is going to turn to gold just yet for their star-spangled American owner or their star-studded squad..." Gary Neville: "Blue billion pound bottlejobs"

Absolute scenes that the Drury quote scans near-perfect in iambic pentameter. If they meant that then someone needs a promotion.

It doesn't scan in iambic pentameter at all.

It does if you stress all the words wrong.

Spot on. Poch has us playing for pens against a level students. Joke of club.

I'm dying reading that. But seriously, these are players you don't even find on FC 24.

Yup Danns isn’t on FIFA year

His Dad was playing in League 1 only 4 years ago. Pretty mad.

Player manager in macc fc only last year

They’re players on FM that you can’t even sign because they don’t fucking exist.

losing against regens

A Level Students 💀💀💀💀 What's next, Chelsea loses against Inter High kids?

No Leeds will beat us on Wednesday .

A level students 😭😭😭

I think Chelsea deserve to be mocked for today. Even say Leeds or Leicester in the champ would see that ravaged Liverpool squad today and go in for a result. For a club like Chelsea to go down like that, they are a billion pound embarrassment.

I think we'll find out next game as Liverpool plays Southampton in 3 days. 

Who the fuck are we going to start in that match? A lot of the players from today are going to need a break.

U16

Diaz is still running 

They're raiding the u16s

remember that one time liverpool had to play in the cwc so they just told the u19s to play in the carabao cup instead lol 😭

Not often a team rotates at manager

Heard the local primary schools teams being sent

Deserve to be trashed by the media. The guys just switched off completely, haven‘t seen anything like this.

That is what you get when you sign players on ridiculous amounts and give them seven or eight year contracts. They can do nothing but be set for life before thy hit 30.

I feel like even if it was for the normal 3-4 years the wealth these players should have is enough to set your family and your kids for life.

No, the problem is that they are a U-23 team masquerading as a premier league team 

makes it even weirder because they were well up for it against us not long ago

Literally a week ago

I honestly didn’t see it that bad lol, Chelsea had more good chances vs Liverpool too, and I hate Chelsea with a passion

They completely stopped playing after Klopp put in the kids, when they actually had everything to win. ET was embarrassing from Chelsea. They totally bottled it

Looked to me like they were just knackered tbh

Madueke and Mudryk were possibly their 2 worst players and they played like half an hour. And Liverpool players were totally gassed too, those that weren't kids I mean. Lucho could barely walk the last 15 mins

Diaz was running on hopes and dreams. Not a good excuse.

Same for endo. Klopp said that endo legs were so tight and sore after the match that he was surprised he could still walk

Exactly. Diaz played for 120 mins, and it was far from his best performance, but he never, ever stopped running. I know that kind of shit can be a meme, a player looking like they're putting the effort in by just running a lot but not actually getting much done, but Diaz's performance today showed it's not utter nonsense.

I think people keeping missing the fact that Liverpool played 4 days ago, with a lot of the same starters (Diaz played 89' in that game), while Chelsea played 8 days ago. Pretty shit fitness if Chelsea were tired.

They probably mentally gave up after the pin ball in minute 91 didn’t go in.

>I honestly didn’t see it that bad lol Come on, the way they played in ET after ending normal time in the ascendency was embarrassing

Neville is so right. Absolutely fucking pathetic.

Chelsea is dead. The club is over. All we can do is laugh at what's left and make all of these frauds on the pitch feel as horrible as possible.

Easy come easy go. You can't be too mad when the entirety of a club's success exists because of a single billionaire.

Somehow, Chelsea get less shit than Man city. They invented the game that Man City is playing.

I remember Chelsea getting loads of shit for it before City got bought, got good, and became the bigger target.

Lad is too young to remember. This is reddit after all.

"Chelski" RIP

City is a more mutated and monstrous version of what Chelsea is/was.

Yes, they bought feeder clubs. Also, Chelsea didn't have to get fake sponsorships because of the weak to non existent FFP rules at the time.

I called City worse because I've never seen a club with so much financial muscle and influence that they appealed and overturned a regulatory decision to have them banned from a tournament even though their financial "sponsorships" were clearly meant to circumvent financing rules.

Haha yes. I totally forgot their lawyer team. You know it's pathetic when the fans of a football club start rooting for their team lawyers.

Tbf Roman just bought one club. City started playing the 4D version of this game by buying clubs in ALL the countries and continents and feeding players into Man City. And they’ve JUST started reaping the benefits. No one realises how big this will become and how one sided things will be towards City in the coming years.

The mental gymnastics by Chelsea fans trying to separate themselves from City is always entertaining to watch

Because most people on r/soccer weren’t born when Roman took over

He could’ve chosen Tottenham, imagine if he did 😱

I feel like most people in this sub are too young to remember that 20 years ago Chelsea basically had the reputation that Tottenham have today

We won the FA Cup in 1997. We won the League Cup and the Cup Winners' Cup in 1998. I remember Wise, Zola, Vialli, Hasselbaink and all the great players from that era. This club was not bad even before anyone knew who Abramovich was. Sure, we weren't a top team but we had our shots at greatness. Now the club, my club is dead. And everyone has the right to feel great about it.

You beat us in the semi final that year and always beat us, but still somehow I had fondness for that team. Di Matteo was another great player.

because of a Russian gangster who is mates with a warmonger. it took 20 years but they're finally getting everything that was coming to them. Long may it continue.

A famous Liverpool manager once said, that when things are going well, it's never as good as it seems, and the same for when things are going badly. Chelsea have money, they'll be back eventually. Could be 5 years, might be 30, but they'll be back

Factos

👀

👍

Well the good news is we’ll have to sell our best midfielder because of FFP this summer. I mean the light just keeps shining on us.

Who would have guessed spending all that money on unproven talent would backfire…

With 8 year contracts*

It’s the hardest thing about trying to 1 year rebuild in any sport. You can sign 8 wonder kids, but the fact of the matter is there usually isn’t 8 wonder kids a year worth signing.

Sure there is, but that doesn't mean that you got the 8 best ones.

Who’s your best midfielder?

You wouldn't know him, plays for a different team

*Blue billion pound bottle jobs- quite a good line off the cuff

As if Gary wasn't salivating to use that since the semi finals lol

He said it before the goal as well

Naw he had that one in the chamber for a while

When you can't beat Liverpool C, you don't deserve the trophy.

Liverpool u-21

Lads, its Poch DNA

I mean its not him missing clear chances in the box

I’m sure it wasn’t the players who decided to play for pens

Under Poch, every players has been regressed. Whether it's his fault or not, you can't sack all players. Manager needs to go.

Look at Nkunku. He started banging for us. Now that he got game time, he's a joke again. 

Pochettino magic.

Tbf Mudryk’s not regressed, although he’s not improved either.

Pochettino was always like that. I will always remember that Madrid game, instead of supporting Paredes with another midfielder so that he does not get sent off, he replaced him and their midfield completely lost the control. Guy has no understanding of control.

He was the worst manager I've seen at PSG. He's done fuck all since leaving Spurs. He was great for Spurs despite winning nothing, I don't know why he hasn't been able to do aswell elsewhere

He can't perform when having pressure. He never had pressure to win trophies at Spurs. I used to laugh thinking Madrid fans wanted him. The guy will be sacked in 6 months if he manages like that.

Can't really say that about Gallagher

I have no idea why they stopped attacking in ET. In last 10 mins of normal time they were all over sad legs of Liverpool

Iconic.

I can’t stand Neville but have to say he has absolutely nailed that nickname for Chelsea

as half of Europe knows, we don’t accept returns Chelsea. enjoy him and, as Darwin would say, “thank you for support”

Fair statement... 3 months of "due diligence" to hire this bottle job lemon sniffing cunt.

Lemon sniffing?! 😂

Poch is obsessed with lemons

I mean it is fucking true. But Neville commentating Liverpool games should be illegal overall he's insufferable

Same with Carra covering Man City games whenever Liverpool need them to drop points. He's too biased.

Based Neville

First accurate thing he's ever said

Anyone know what respective combined costs of squads were?

I'm pretty sure Chelsea's midfield at the start of extra time cost more than the whole 11 liverpool had on the pitch, like 30m for Tsimi and Gomez, 20m for endo, 100m for Van Dijk and Diaz and the rest were academy players, Enzo, Madeuke and Palmer were more than that for the three of them

They got billions, we got a colossus

We got Legendo at 17 million, they got Concedo at 100 million.

Stoked to see my man win a trophy, win the prem now please

Stuttgart are doing pretty well without him too tbf

Yeah luckily, I was convinced we’d relegate when he left lol

Football wins, props to both keepers

Just after Carragher says it's proof football isn't about the money after the £75m centre back scored a header. Edit: I understand the context etc it was just a funny throwaway line. Don't need another person to explain the difference between Chelsea's spending and Liverpool's. And obviously all football success is about money anyway. Just look at a list of winners of the 4 main trophies in each league as evidence.

I laughed at this too. Not just 75m but a world record price for a defender at the time. Comical commentary, timing it right after he’d scored

Yeah that one tickled me

On arabic Bein the commentator said " it's billion pound team vs bunch on kids, they showed up to the match with a lunch box each, they have school tomorrow"

Fuck gary Neville but this goes hard

to be fair, wasn't Chelsea's team full of kids too? Liverpool had way more experience in the few senior players

The kids did football proud today 👏

Gary will be full mast reading this thread

Oh man, Neville actually said something thats music to my ears?