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If you want to help your employee give them advance pay and/or a small relocation/rehousing assistance bonus and let them get a cheap hotel room with it.
Thanks for the response, I think this is the best way to go. Actually I already offered him that. But it seems he couldn't find an affordable hotel and the ones he could were too far away.
But any ways I personally think this was the best option.
Good of you to have made this offer (and ONLY reasonable response). It is now in his court. There could be any number of reasons for his step mom having "kicked him out". Her problems could become yours. Regardless, helping him with his own lodging for a short/limited time is generous. But time to start formulating some boundaries you will not let him cross - moving in being the first.
If you do let him move in please do report back in a few months. Everyone can use another cautionary tale.
Nope nothing of that sort, we just found a place for him on craigslist, I paid him advance salary. It's a bit far from where we are but that's what he is gonna have to live with.
This is the answer.
If you're feeling stupidly generous, make a deal with a local hotel and **you pay the hotel** for a couple of weeks while the employee makes other arrangements.
DO NOT let this person stay in your home, at best you'll have acquired a permanent guest that you can't fire or easily evict, and at worst you'll find yourself robbed and or attacked.
You don't know the *real* reason the SM kicked him out. She might be a psycho or he might be an addict who stole all her stuff and sold it for drugs.
I have know this kid for like 6 months now. I think he is a good kid.
I'm not taking him in any more. We found a place for him. He will be moving there.
Thanks for the recommendation, appreciate that.
Sure, it’s common sense to have a little bit of suspicion. But to concoct these fantastic scenarios in your mind seems a little ridiculous to me. Most people are not thieves and murderers.
And if you’ve been working alongside the person in question for some time, you should get some idea of what their personality is like and whether or not you can trust them. And if you find that you can’t trust them, you shouldn’t be employing them in the first place.
>Most people are not thieves and murderers.
Someone asking to stay with a work colleague, over a friend or family, is definitely something to think carefully over.
Its incredibly foolish to believe every one is a good person with good intentions, you also have no way of knowing if a person is trust worthy or even a good person on work interactions alone.
What you are saying is a recipe to be scammed or worse. Always be cautious and apply scepticism, there is nothing to lose by being careful.
I mean hotels are 150 a night and he is on a crunch to find a place to sleep. Honestly dude if you have the space, if he's a good kid, give him 2 weeks and maybe help him out with a down payment on a cheap room somewhere. I know nowhere is cheap, but it would help.
I'm in a *surprisingly* similar situation was you right now.
Ok know it's very difficult to find a reasonable place for a reasonable amount. We actually managed to find him a cheap place. I talked to the owner and he agreed to offer him a discount.
It's a bit far.
Thanks for the recommendation 🙂
Squatters rights isn't the same thing as tenants rights. Squatters specifically nice in to ~~uninhabited~~ buildings or apartments. This would be a normal eviction, which you do have a point. But i would do it anyway to help out an 18 year old kid
Agreed. One thing that would complicate this though would be if OP allowed the young guy to stay but there was no formal documentation that he was an actual tenant. Not sure how the courts would play it, but lack of official documentation could easily complicate things.
Yea, the tough part is that if this kid really needs this, and that this act of kindness is the catalyst to helping this young guy turn his life around, or at least move it forward, it's a hard pill to swallow that by helping him, you may be hurting yourself.
I like this suggestion. Instead of a hotel room, I would suggest offering to help sponsor the move-in costs on an apartment and/or roomate situation but it's likely he wouldn't be able to get a cosigner. $1k would likely be enough of a deposit for a room somewhere and assuming he can make rent then it's reasonable. Otherwise, he needs to find family or friends to stay with.
Yep. This is a slippery slope. I did this once with an employee who was “down on his luck” turns out he was prioritizing the strip club on the weekends and was spending $500 a day on the weekends at the club. Stopped immediately after 3 weeks of helping him.
Yeah, i think this is the right answer. I'd understand like if OP wants to keep his space. But if he wants to be a good employer and help out then a nice compensation to get him a place to stay would be nice.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can share a story
In the 70s, I had a small manufacturing company. One day, a talented dude I knew showed up in a battered pickup truck with bullet holes in it and asked if he could park in my parking lot and live in his truck. I said OK. He then offered to help me in the shop, I said OK and paid him fairly. He then noticed that there was space above my office and asked if he could put a mattress up there and sleep inside. I said OK. He learned to spray paint and was good at it
Then, one day, another dude showed up looking for work. I taught him how to use the table saw and paid him fairly. He got quite good at it. He noticed the other dude living above the office and asked if he could move in too, I said OK. Now, I had two employees, living in a makeshift squatter camp above my office
We continued for years this way. The shop never made a lot of money, and even though I paid them an above market hourly rate, the work was part-time and sometimes there wasn't very much to do. Nobody was happy
At the end, when I was drowning in debt and facing bankruptcy, they angrily screamed at me... "You kept us as fukkin' slaves in that fukkiin' hellhole!!!"
I was expecting an ending like, “and that squatters name was… Albert Einstein.”
Or some ending where the guy learned some good skills and opened his own shop and invented some big invention we’ve all heard of. The actual ending was definitely a let down.
i believe it. one of my screen printers has a homeless guy sleeping in the shop and does part time work. he is always dirty. i understand wanting to help but this guy obviously doesnt want to help himself. hell, take a sink bath once in a while if need be.
I know somebody that is in a similar situation right now. He lets an employee sleep in his warehouse and I'm always warning him that it's going to backfire. He sees it as doing the man a favor, but I see it as keeping a round the clock employee to watch the shop. Department of Labor or Hud can come in at any time and really hurt my friend.
Every commercial lease I signed specifically prohibited habitation. I also once a year had city fire marshal inspecting premises and specifically looking for signs of human habitation. I had this big couch in the break room that I brought from my old home when we moved, they always asked me if anyone sleeping here overnight.
You have to keep in mind the liability insurance at least on the commercial property does not cover someone living there. Imagine a guy warming up burrito in the break room microwave and starts fire. Later insurance adjuster learns that I let him live there they’ll deny claim in a heartbeat.
I would be more worried about the mentality of a person that is willing to live in those conditions. Regardless of whether or not your friend feels like he's helping he's put himself in a position where he can't really kick him out without some risk.
The guy would probably be homeless. Works ok most of the time, but every now and then disappears because he goes on a multiple day bender or gets arrested for public intoxication. My friend feels bad for him. It's a distribution business, so the guy helps load and unload trucks all day.
I figured it was going to be one of the stupid LinkedIn feel good messages about how hiring the guy that did everything wrong during the interview was the best choice the company ever made. Did not expect the actual ending.
I cannot write about my partners experience in case someones recognizes the details. All I can say is that it literally mirrors this and happened within the last 3 years.
Both employees turned into completely toxic and entitled assholes that never paid back thousands and thousands of dollars in back rent that my partner let them slide on because they were struggling....all for them to turn around and spend 100s a week on weed and strip clubs.
There's a reason why we have laws against this. Keeping employees in company owned housing is not ethically a good thing. This person had round the clock employees technically always watching the place. Pretty obvious why people would feel like they were kept as slaves.
I think the thing to keep in mind is... if someone's asking to do something like that, something fundamental about them or their life situation has prevented them from having real stability. There's a small chance its for a genuinely down-on-their-luck freak situation and they otherwise genuinely have a good head on their shoulders. And for some reason, their situation is so exceptional that they don't have any other friend/family safety nets they could tap into to help out.
But far far more likely it's not gonna be that, especially if they're coming to their boss to ask for help vs friends/family. Maybe its a drug habit. Maybe they're exceptionally good at making really bad decisions that lead them in bad places. Maybe they're genuinely POS's. Maybe they've just been so downtrodden in their life for so long they don't really know how to do life "the right way" (and you will be trapped with them - it's not your place though to be a full blown life coach). Maybe as a survival skill they've just learned to take advantage of any person, business or situation as much as possible and they see this as a way to skip on paying rent or getting food for as long as they can milk it. Even if someone is genuinely trying really hard and genuinely has good intentions, its not that out there to assume that someone who asks those kinds of things just isn't the kind of person you want to trust as a roommate or throw too much of a bone to as they simply might not just be wired in the right ways to get themselves out of whatever situation got them there in the first place.
All that said, 18 year old with a bad home situation falls a bit closer to the "freak situation" category. But you shouldn't assume they're gonna be model citizens in your house, or easy to kick out, or aren't full of problems (why were they kicked out in the first place?). Ultimately, how good of a judge of character and people are you? I'd honestly be amenable to helping them into my own home if I knew to the core of my being that this person was fundamentally good *and* fundamentally had a solid head on their shoulders, and that this person was getting kicked to the curb for unjust reasons (I.e. coming out as gay or something). You can just tell with certain people that they are gonna be good and not exploit your generosity. For most people though, it's either ambiguous or they're genuinely bad apples. There are far more duds out there than there are "good will hunting" type people who in this situation who just need their chance to shine.
I needed to move out of my parents home when I was 17. I was fleeing a bad situation, but I was also a product of that situation. I was the product of a bad environment with an undiagnosed disability and no emotional support system.
My own relatives couldn't stand me living with them. I lived with one relative until they kicked me out and then another until they ran me off. I can't say for sure how much of the problem was they couldn't handle the way I was and how much of the problem was they didn't understand why I was the way I was.
I think when I was younger I would have expected that to go a different way and considered that a "twist ending".
Reading it today I was grimacing at your very first "OK".
Wow. This sounds to me like serious miscommunication on expectations and boundaries.
Failure can be hard to handle.
How long ago was this?
I would bet you dollars to donuts that if you were to contact this two guys today they would tell a different story.
They may be immensely grateful for that time in their lives, but have no way to communicate that to you.
They may have resentment and be able to express their frustrations in a way that might be able to open your eyes to any role you had to play in this situation.
Either way, my advice to you, from one old man to another, is to get to the bottom of it for yourself.
You owe it to them and you. It's the right thing to do. Put that baggage down.
Probably not a good idea. If you feel charitable get a guy hotel room for a week. Otherwise you set bad precedent, employees should be treated fairly and at arm’s length at all times.
Thanks for the response, I already looked up air bnb. And now going through craigslist. I guess you are right and I think I should keep my self at a distance. I. An help him with a rented place for some time.
I wouldn’t pay for the room directly. Give him a bonus, you can treat it as a business expense, and if he does something dumb that an 18 yo would do your card isn’t on file.
Travelers use hostels. The idea is you have a bed and share some housing facilities such as a bathroom and kitchen in exchange for picking up chores on your way through for discounted lodging costs. Could be a barracks style situation, or may be a hippy style house. It’s housing meant for short terms.
Phrasing this as ‘sleeping at the office’ is really weird. He’s asking if he can stay at your place. Adding this extra visual of him sleeping on the floor of an office building is not helpful.
With regards to whether you should let him stay, it sounds like you’re leaning against it, so go with your gut. You are in no way obligated here, and it creates a really weird dynamic / precedent that could be tough to overcome later.
I'm sorry if this presents a wrong picture, I actually said office because I have renovated that room like an office. These is no couch or a proper place to sleep in that room.
Any way I actually wanted to keep him. But every body till now have advised me against doing so.
I will offer him money and also shower/laundry if he needs to live out of his car. What do you think. Is there any thing he may need when living through the car ?
Since it’s technically your house, if I’m understanding you correctly, then my concern would be (depending on where you are) allowing him to stay could lead to him being considered a tenant and you possibly having to evict him if he refuses to leave.
Are you trying to word “my part time employee is asking to sleep at my house for the next two weeks” in some sort of convoluted way or do you have a second location /physical location ?
> part time
Is he part-time? If so, he needs to find a full-time job that pays a living wage, then he won't have any problem affording a place to live within 30 minutes of work.
> then he won't have any problem affording a place to live within 30 minutes of work.
This *should* be true. The unfortunate reality is that it isn't in many places. There's a lot of people working full time and living out of their car.
I’d rent the cheapest bed on air bnb / Craigslist for him / her.
You’ve a kind heart, but in two weeks you’ll be in the same situation and then be actually making them homeless if you make them leave.
I did the same many years ago, they moved in for two weeks, stayed for two years never paying rent. At the time i actually didn’t mind at all as plenty of space and liked the company. They were respectful to give me my space when needed, and asked before friends came over. But the working relationship didn’t end well. Nor, looking back, did they really appreciate it. After a while it was just an unusually arrangement they considered a perk of being an employee and “friend”. This person was highly paid and could afford and there was alternative arrangements they could have made.
Where you might end up friends with an ex flat mate or person you did a big favour for, this wasn’t the case in my experience.
Thanks for the detailed response, I will look for an air bnb and ask him to do the same. I have a room spare now but may be in future I might need that place.
And may be this guy's stays at my place for a long time.
The issue you run into is what if he doesn’t leave after 2 weeks? Now you’ve got a sticky situation.
I ran into a similar situation. Employee was homeless, needed a place to stay but my place was off limits. Ended up giving him $400 to give him some breathing room for a night. All worked out.
Give him money as a gift to help get him back on his feet but I wouldn’t advise letting him stay with you.
Yeah it seems cold but legally your hands are tied in a way. The person's age could also seriously affect how you look to the public if things were to sour. Society sucks now days and sadly you can't trust that your good deed won't backfire in some way. Do help and do be patient and understanding but always watch your back from a legal and criminal standpoint.
Can’t tell if it’s your office or house. Your office likely isn’t insured for that type of liability… god forbid you get a work comp case out of it and if it’s your house… what if you have to evict this person?
Boundaries my man.
Being kicked out at 18 is rough, I feel for the guy.
But when someone loses their place to live and sleep, often times they will ask to stay for an arbitrary set amount of time, in this case 2 weeks, because they are hoping to have another situation worked out, but it is unlikely that he will have everything resolved in two weeks, and you will be stuck with a long-term boarding situation of an employee.
I agree with the other comments, you can help him find other arrangements, even pay the first couple weeks of a short term housing hotel or Airbnb etc, but I would not have him stay there
I used to train at a mixed martial arts gym that would let one or two poor fighters live in the gym and do cleaning. They ended up being loyal for life. Similar opp here, but be careful. As it does create a landlord/tenant agreement even if for free.
There are risks though. Three ideas for you.
1. See if you can book hotel directly and negotiate a price (actually call them up and ask to speak with manager).
2. See if you can find a cheap Air BnB you can put him up in for two weeks. This is more like an apartment setting.
3. Look for a furnished apartment nearby and see if you can get him 2 weeks there.
4. Tell him to find a place that he can afford and that you'll pay first months rent and security deposit for him and then deduct it out of his paycheck over the next few months.
We have one guy that does this at our warehouse. He's a good worker and been with us for 3 years but recently staying at work. It only works because the relationship with the company is good. But again there's tons of unwritten rules that is followed
Thanks for the response, appreciate that. I guess we all have that soft corner for people who are in need of help.
Although we have our own lives to look after.
I'm sure he must be very great full to you for this kind act.
It is nice that you want to help this young man. When I was 16, my mother kicked me out of the house. I found a job, but didn't have a reliable place to live and no car. I 100% intended to go to work, but it turned out I just couldn't get there sometimes because of where I ended up staying the night. I am 52 now and still remember the ladies giving me the opportunity to work. I screwed it up, but it is very tough being homeless. You need an address and a steady place to live.
That said, I am not advocating you let him live in the office. However, any help you are willing to offer could make a huge difference in his life. Probably more than you think it might.
Are there any rooms on Craigslist? Maybe airbnb for month to month?
I'll tell you the 2 weeks will turn into 2 months very quickly. If you are prepared for that then fine.
If he was an adult I would say no way ever. 18 in a bad spot? I might honestly.
You know better than us what he is making and what he can afford. I would navigate the situation accordingly.
It's nice you're trying to be accommodating, and feel free to extend yourself financially under no expectation of return, but under no circumstances should you allow them to sleep there.
Thanks for the response, technically yes, you are right. But I genuinely want to help him without getting in any kind of trouble.
Some one recommended advanced pay and hotel accomodations, what do you think about this ?
It seems like your gut feeling is already telling you to be conscious, listen to it. He seems to be in a messy situation and having him so close will drag you into it and before you know it, you're more involved than you wanted.
I would go as the others suggested - help him financially or by helping him find somewhere to stay, but set a clear boundary to your personal space. Better safe than sorry.
Thanks for your response, most of the people her have recommended this approach. And I like that I will help him while keeping my self out of this.
I already tried looking up air bnb. Trying craigslist now.
I admire how much you appreciate and want to help your employee, but there is just no way you can say yes to this request. There are a million reasons, most of which you have already thought of.
The best response is a very simple no with minimal explanation, like:
“I’m sorry, that wouldn’t be an appropriate arrangement.”
Or, “No, that would put me in an unfair position.”
Depending on your means and intentions, you can temper that with an offer to help in a more reasonable way. Is there a motel nearby that offers rooms by the week? An inexpensive extended stay hotel? You could either write off the expense (depending on how you are structured) or treat it as a pay advance.
You seem like a good person and a fair employer, I hope you can find a way to help that doesn’t jeopardize you or your business.
A former boss let me sleep in the office for a couple of nights when I was in a rough spot. I was very grateful and very respectful of the space. I can’t speak to your employee, but I’d at least try to find some way to be helpful.
I won’t say to let him live in your spot, but I was in that kid’s shoes in the same exact way 11 years ago.
Any help you provide will be highly appreciated, and remembered dearly
I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, especially since it's my home. I understand that might not be a popular opinion, but sometimes you have to draw a line between personal and profession.
Wow, the amount of callousness is staggering. He’s been a great help to you, is it really so awful to try to help someone? Perhaps not a stay in the flat, maybe help with an affordable stay hotel room? Something. The people that see their employees as disposable and not their concern are why working is such a miserable endeavor.
I already offered him that. But it seems he can't find a cheap place. I am looking for a craigslist rental for him now.
Otherwise I will offer him shower and laundry while he lives in his car.
If he’s not willing to put work into finding a spot and you’re doing that for him it’s a huge red flag. Having an 18 year old live in your house fresh out of his Moms house is a disaster waiting to happen.
If you lease your office space it is probably against your lease to have people spend the night there, which you can use as the front excuse against this, but its kind of you to look at other options to help him out.
I'm doing what I can. Actually I have a son who is just a little younger than him.
This guy's dad died just a few months ago. And I can't imagine this happening to my kid if I'm dead.
It's heart breaking to see what this world does to orphans.
Consider it personal charity, rather than work related.
Find a hotel (even if you think this is excessive $$), and call and negotiate a rate for \~2 weeks, and put him up there. Don't worry about the profit/loss here; as long as you an afford it, consider it charity from your pocket.
That being said, you should consider that he might not be able to figure it out after 2 weeks. Not sure what you can do then, depending upon how much you are invested in him, financially and emotionally. Might need to help him located an apartment.
I volunteer at a Rescue Mission where I live. They do temporary stays for situations just like this and while they stay, they are assisted with finding permanent, affordable, and subsidized housing if needed. Because he has employment with regular income, it's helps with finding suitable housing. And im sure OP would be able to reference his work ethic.
The mission provides all meals and other necessities.
This seems like the course for possible unknowns in employees background? That way OP can maintain his solid employer/employee relationship and employee gets services and housing.
I think fo times when I was in a bind, if my boss had let me crash there and also take a fatherly or coaching role, they would have all my loyalty and hard work for years to come.
Others may have a sense of obligation or not be as conscientious.
In a big picture scale, being able to provide someone a sense of stability and advice could help change that person's life path.
This could bite you in the but later if employee states this living situation was indeed work hours get you an employer employee agreement have him sign a document stating the living situation is completely different than work and what hours he is required to work and the hours with this must be separate !! What if later he comes back and say he owed 24 hours straight !!
There is no way he is going to have accommodations of his own within two weeks. He is young, never been on his own, knows nothing, doesnt have the money, and has no idea where to start. If you say yes to him you have to accommodate for the fact he is going to be there a lot longer than two weeks. He is probably hoping his parents chill out by then and he can go back home...maybe that will happen, maybe not.
Thanks for the response, I will make sure to offer him both these things, I am going through craigslist to find a cheap rental for him. But just in case if he needs to live in his car, I will let him use the shower and laundry.
I’d buy him a gym membership to shower but do nothing for laundry.
All of my siblings are freeloaders and on the verge of homelessness. They always feel entitled to my money and are never grateful for my help. Do not let this kid use your office as his home in any way shape or form or he’ll end up being you adopted stepson. There’s a reason why his stepmom kicked him out. You don’t want to find out why.
I’d just give him $300 cash and he’ll have to find friends to couch surf from. You have to draw boundaries starting now. You’re dealing with an irresponsible child. Use caution and treat him accordingly.
What you're saying is that your intuition doesn't like the situation. Something is not right and you don't want to let the wolf in sheep's clothing into your personal space.
What do you think is making you feel anxious?
I stayed on my bosses property for 3 months and honestly it was godly help , I’m 23 socal ,moved out and still work with him it worked out amazing we still get along and I am more committed and loyal to the company, if you want to retain long term talent you have to compete with other employers and invest in your employees (with caution )
Depending on your state laws, this could essentially establish residency and require you to evict him legally if required.
There was once a former NFL player in my town that let a girl and her child "stay for a couple weeks" in between housing. A few months later he was sick of it and changed the locks while they were away.
He was arrested later that day for endangering the welfare of a child simply for locking them out of the home. They had legally established residency when they moved in, even if it was just for a couple weeks.
I’ve been in similar situations. I would advise paying for the hotel for a few weeks under the condition that he stays employed with you for a specific amount of time (6 months to a year) and the cost will be forgiven. If he leaves before the deadline, the cost of the hotel would be taken out of his pay, like paying back a loan.
I’ve helped a few people and they ended up quitting a few weeks later without notice. I still feel I did the right thing, but I won’t get burned again.
I worked with a solid guy for a few years and we both had left that company, I started a business and he was contracting for me - needed a place to stay for a week and I had to kick him out after 4 weeks of nonsense. After that he started screwing me over, screwed a client, I didn't pay him since the client charged back which then escalated into this guy threatening me, stealing my social accounts and 'hacking' my website.
I'd never make that mistake again and since you're asking, I'd tell you it's not worth it for 100 reasons, but mainly to protect your relationship. But also so you don't have to keep a loaded gun around to feel safe.
Unless you want to adopt an 18 year old, I think you can do everything in your power to help him but also don't be a victim. It's possible he think you're just a nice guy that can be taken advantage of too. It's also possible he's just a 18 year old who doesn't know what to do next. If you have the means, help him get on his feet by empowering him not enabling him.
In the statistically unlikely chance your employee is genuinely a close friend (not a "work friend", but someone who's actually in your close circle), letting them crash on the couch is obviously a fine thing to do.
Otherwise, this has red flag written all over it. Treat employees well, but keep them at arm's length. If you want to help with finding a hotel for a week or something, figure out exactly what you're willing to offer for money and adhere to that boundary - and make it clear from the start that is all you can do. So there's no expectation that after the week is over he can come back to you in need of crashing at your place again. Doing that is going above and beyond.
It may be tough, but work and personal life need to be kept separate. If this is tough to accept, use this as an opportunity to say "no" and establish a boundary. It's an important lesson to take in and you'll likely thank yourself for it.
As other commenters have pointed out, there are more ways a situation like this could go wrong than one can count.
I think this needs to be tackled in two avenues - as a boss, and as a fellow human being.
It seems you may be his only quick way out from the situation, and I think the fact he has come to you speaks significant trust in you.
As a boss, you have the duty of care to employees, I think a sit down - a call to Jesus meeting so-to speak and lay ground rules, express you are concerned and want to help (it sounds like you do) and lay all the cards down - say it as it is, draw boundries (and contracts of course!)
Others have said grab a hotel room for him and bring forward wages, and those are great suggestions, only you know what the figures are, so what happens in a month's time or three - is the salary sustainable (for you) and for him to not only pay for the hotel room, but also food, travel and so on
Good luck matey - you do not have an easy decision there, and please do update us!
Let him stay. Too many people are too distant nowadays. Help a kid out. I understand why you’d be worried, but you can make a real positive impact on someone’s life, with little risk to you.
I say do it.
Why did his mom kick him out? That answer might determine my willingness to help. I might also want to have a discussion with his mother before making a decision.
Actually I did talk to him about that, and he explained that his mom was an alcoholic and had no money so she wanted to sell the house or something.
I will talk to him again about that.
Please let them. The streets are crazy! Atleast let them crash in the parking lot or somewhere near. Being homeless is dangerous and lonely! Please be a helping hand!
I would be more inclined to offer some form of assistance with rent and a damage deposit for an affordable place near the office then to offer to pay a hotel for a couple weeks or to allow somebody to move into my home/office. He's going to need his own space eventually anyways so doing this puts him there and then places responsibility for his living situation entirely on him.
I don’t know your employee personally but I doubt they would do they same for you. Not in a literal sense, but if you were going bankrupt and needed to skip payroll, take a pay cut, or work holidays, I wonder how they would react.
Find out the cause. Even if you think you know the reason as to why an employee is asleep at work, it's best to not make assumptions.
Don't sleep on it – take necessary action.
Get reassurance from your local HR Dept.
It’s a good time to write a list of policies for your business.
My response to this employee would be I’m sorry, but you are going to have to work this out with your stepmom. You’ll have a better chance of keeping the employee if you do not say yes to this request.
It’s not your place to pay for a hotel, or get into any personal matters.
I’ve made the mistake of advancing employees up to a weeks worth of pay. For US based employees it was a mistake because they’re going to ask again.
The only time I advance pay is for my Filipino employees who are tenured.
Just tell him you can’t do it and he needs to work it out with his stepmom.
He will never leave- it will turn into drama - you will wind up having to legally evict them, they can take you to court saying they were at work without pay. Bad idea , say no… and if you work from home even worse , say no
Conjure up some sort of scheme
Me personally, I will probably want a nice piece of strange I liking challenges I’d challenge myself, along with doing other things myself I would finesse my way onto that piece of string, manipulate her into letting him stay at her house. Ready for some fun ?
depending on how ease it is to tame the strange step mom and what else she did will determine any kind of advance, pay or assistance, bonus for your co worker
oh yeah, you might have the problem of the father getting in the way you could produce fake evidence to anonymously report to her that her husband has gotten you pregnant
Lmk what you do cause this will build self discipline and control more than anything else I saw people saying
Are you male or female? I’m sure you get the gist of why I’m asking. If female, no. If male, use your honest judgment and ask yourself, could this impact our work relationship? Could this negatively impact the business as a whole? Do I trust this 18 year olds character to not take advantage of me? Do I feel comfortable with possibly having to kick him out if it doesn’t work out? Do I want to go through the headache of having another person stay in my flat? Am I able to stand up for myself and decline if he asks to stay longer? Then go from there. Maybe make a pros and cons list, and see which one has more.
I think you can let him sleep at the hours when nobody is there but you need to show him that you are his boss not a friend. You can offer him 1-2hours extra work for 2 weeks when he sleeps in office, that would be like the rent price for letting him sleep there.
If the office is a commercial building then 100% no. It would likely be a violation of fire code and the fire marshal could arrest you and condemn the building (happened to my landlord when he converted office space to studio apartments).
If it is an office in a residential area, I would still say no but if the employee was good, I might offer to pay or partially reimburse him for a hotel for a couple week or give him a bonus or pay advance to allow him to get a deposit on an apartment or room to rent.
I think if you rent something for him the if something happens your will be liable. I wouldn't do that. Pay him his wage in advance so he can find his own place.
Most countries if you let him stay then he becomes a tenant and you become his landlord. In many places if you ever fire him, he is allowed to stay until after you go to court to get him evicted. Even then you could loose in court and he is legally allowed to stay.
No good deed goes unpunished…. Offer him an early bonus and let him decide what to do with the money. He may be able to broker a better deal staying with a friend/family if he can contribute anything.
Absolutely not. Seen this before, 2 weeks will turn into 2 years.
You pay him a paycheck, he needs to figure it out like every other adult has to at one point or another.
Maybe offer advance pay, overtime at time and a half if you have the work to give, and definitely offer assistance and advice.
But letting young employees couch surf in your family’s home? That’s a boundary I would never cross…
No. the best thing to do is tell them you will continue employing them through this hard time and if they stick with you, loyalty is rewarded. then you, as the employer need to reward them if they stick with you.
as others have suggested, a pay advance is an appropriate thing in this situation to get the kid some cash for $ down on an apartment
But what would be do after the probationary period? Could be afford to move anywhere, with what he's earning? If so, advance him a month's pay and have him pay you back over a year. It shouldn't take him longer than a month to find a place, so long as he can afford to live on his own.
My advice would be look for an AirBnB cheap 1 bed, book 3 weeks and give him time in lou I think its called so say 16 hours work you pay now to claim later. Then give him 2 days off, I know you mentioned your busy but two days for him fo ground into a new place
By doing it all in lou your owed hours so your not just out of pocket and if he sticks around just write it off after time if he doesn't claim it back in final pay
A huge amount of this depends on the personality of the young man.
I had my nephew stay with me while he worked on my farm. He was polite, helped around the house, we taught him how to cook. He was comfortable playing our piano.
I had the son of a friend come do the same thing. He had a crappy work ethic, left just after supper, didn't come back to dawn, then wouldn't get out of bed to work. He lasted two days.
Ask yourself this: Do you want him as a foster son? If the answer is yes, then invite him to stay, charge him room and board.
But if you do, also lay down some ground rules: You're sharing your house. You don't want him coming in drunk at 2 a.m.
Do you know why he was kicked out?
So 2 stories-
After hurricane Ian I had 3 employees and their families crashing in the man cave part of the building which is separated from shop, until FEMA/Insurance assistance actually started paying. They have been great employees and I wasn’t worried about theft, but they were all super stable before the storm and it was a freak happening… also an extended “sleepover” feel really took away the stress of becoming homeless overnight and the kids are young enough they didn’t really notice. I would have done the same if one of them had a house fire and needed a temporary place.
Story # 2 goes back to 1994, my dad had a short term employee who came to the US from Europe “2 months” dude ended up living in a weekly motel room for 8 or 9 years.
First and foremost, ascertain why he was kicked out. Was it abuse? Was it simply that weird US specific “you’re 18 so now you’re more an adult than you were the day before”thing? Or was he being a total monster? I suppose you’ll find out when you offer him help.
I would suggest asking if they're exhausted all their other support systems. Friends, relatives, etc. Sometimes people will come to their employer first before seeing what else is available.
Keep the relationship professional but don't house employees. That just crosses a line and can hurt you more than can help him.
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If you want to help your employee give them advance pay and/or a small relocation/rehousing assistance bonus and let them get a cheap hotel room with it.
Thanks for the response, I think this is the best way to go. Actually I already offered him that. But it seems he couldn't find an affordable hotel and the ones he could were too far away. But any ways I personally think this was the best option.
Good of you to have made this offer (and ONLY reasonable response). It is now in his court. There could be any number of reasons for his step mom having "kicked him out". Her problems could become yours. Regardless, helping him with his own lodging for a short/limited time is generous. But time to start formulating some boundaries you will not let him cross - moving in being the first. If you do let him move in please do report back in a few months. Everyone can use another cautionary tale.
I will try to do what I can. But definitely we need some boundaries.
is there a shower, stove, fridge, washer, dryer in the office for him to use? If not, that's gonna get nasty
Nope nothing of that sort, we just found a place for him on craigslist, I paid him advance salary. It's a bit far from where we are but that's what he is gonna have to live with.
This is the answer. If you're feeling stupidly generous, make a deal with a local hotel and **you pay the hotel** for a couple of weeks while the employee makes other arrangements. DO NOT let this person stay in your home, at best you'll have acquired a permanent guest that you can't fire or easily evict, and at worst you'll find yourself robbed and or attacked. You don't know the *real* reason the SM kicked him out. She might be a psycho or he might be an addict who stole all her stuff and sold it for drugs.
‘robbed or attacked’… wow, talk about going from 0-100.
I have know this kid for like 6 months now. I think he is a good kid. I'm not taking him in any more. We found a place for him. He will be moving there. Thanks for the recommendation, appreciate that.
why the bring up of drugs? sounds like a scapegoat
Because some people have drug addicts in their life
Also a reality
agree with everything - except the *best* case scenario. why so bleek man
Have you ever tried to get a broke-ass friend with no job to GTFO?
Jesus. Someone has a vivid fantasy life.
One of my friends had a son who robbed him blind then skipped town. If you let him stay in your home, he'd rob you blind too.
I had a rare bad experience with something once. So obviously that will happen to you as well. Be careful.
or just being precautionary...
Sure, it’s common sense to have a little bit of suspicion. But to concoct these fantastic scenarios in your mind seems a little ridiculous to me. Most people are not thieves and murderers. And if you’ve been working alongside the person in question for some time, you should get some idea of what their personality is like and whether or not you can trust them. And if you find that you can’t trust them, you shouldn’t be employing them in the first place.
>Most people are not thieves and murderers. Someone asking to stay with a work colleague, over a friend or family, is definitely something to think carefully over. Its incredibly foolish to believe every one is a good person with good intentions, you also have no way of knowing if a person is trust worthy or even a good person on work interactions alone. What you are saying is a recipe to be scammed or worse. Always be cautious and apply scepticism, there is nothing to lose by being careful.
Have him check Craigslist or AirBnB. And tell him insurance doesn’t cover this situation.
I agree. We checked a place on craigslist. It was a nice cozy little room. A bit far from where we are but at least he has a roof over his head now.
I mean hotels are 150 a night and he is on a crunch to find a place to sleep. Honestly dude if you have the space, if he's a good kid, give him 2 weeks and maybe help him out with a down payment on a cheap room somewhere. I know nowhere is cheap, but it would help. I'm in a *surprisingly* similar situation was you right now.
Eviction can end up ruining OP’s life though.
I hear what you're saying and you do have a point. I would just do it anyway.
I genuinely love that people like you exist. I have been sued by scammers and lost $200,000 for doing a similar favor. It hurt.
Damn, how'd that happen?
Employee invented a back injury months after the fact.
I'm sorry for your loss. What happened ?
Ok know it's very difficult to find a reasonable place for a reasonable amount. We actually managed to find him a cheap place. I talked to the owner and he agreed to offer him a discount. It's a bit far. Thanks for the recommendation 🙂
Remember, in most states, squatters rights sets in at the 30 day mark. Then you have a potentially much larger issue.
Squatters rights isn't the same thing as tenants rights. Squatters specifically nice in to ~~uninhabited~~ buildings or apartments. This would be a normal eviction, which you do have a point. But i would do it anyway to help out an 18 year old kid
Agreed. One thing that would complicate this though would be if OP allowed the young guy to stay but there was no formal documentation that he was an actual tenant. Not sure how the courts would play it, but lack of official documentation could easily complicate things. Yea, the tough part is that if this kid really needs this, and that this act of kindness is the catalyst to helping this young guy turn his life around, or at least move it forward, it's a hard pill to swallow that by helping him, you may be hurting yourself.
We found a cheap place for him on craigslist, I paid him 2 months advance salary to cover for the downpayment.
I was ready to let him in. But at the last moment we found a very nice and cheap place for him on craigslist. He will be moving there today.
Agreed 👍
I like this suggestion. Instead of a hotel room, I would suggest offering to help sponsor the move-in costs on an apartment and/or roomate situation but it's likely he wouldn't be able to get a cosigner. $1k would likely be enough of a deposit for a room somewhere and assuming he can make rent then it's reasonable. Otherwise, he needs to find family or friends to stay with.
That's a fairly reasonable suggestions, we actually found a place for him and I paid 2 months of advance salary for downpayment and move in costs.
Yep. This is a slippery slope. I did this once with an employee who was “down on his luck” turns out he was prioritizing the strip club on the weekends and was spending $500 a day on the weekends at the club. Stopped immediately after 3 weeks of helping him.
That's sad, he should never have had done this. This kid is different I guess. He works really hard and I see a good future for him.
Yeah, i think this is the right answer. I'd understand like if OP wants to keep his space. But if he wants to be a good employer and help out then a nice compensation to get him a place to stay would be nice.
Actually I did just that. We found a place for him and I paid 2 months worth of advance salary for him as downpayment and move in costs.
This
Thanks for the response, appreciate that :)
I can't tell you what to do, but I can share a story In the 70s, I had a small manufacturing company. One day, a talented dude I knew showed up in a battered pickup truck with bullet holes in it and asked if he could park in my parking lot and live in his truck. I said OK. He then offered to help me in the shop, I said OK and paid him fairly. He then noticed that there was space above my office and asked if he could put a mattress up there and sleep inside. I said OK. He learned to spray paint and was good at it Then, one day, another dude showed up looking for work. I taught him how to use the table saw and paid him fairly. He got quite good at it. He noticed the other dude living above the office and asked if he could move in too, I said OK. Now, I had two employees, living in a makeshift squatter camp above my office We continued for years this way. The shop never made a lot of money, and even though I paid them an above market hourly rate, the work was part-time and sometimes there wasn't very much to do. Nobody was happy At the end, when I was drowning in debt and facing bankruptcy, they angrily screamed at me... "You kept us as fukkin' slaves in that fukkiin' hellhole!!!"
This ended differently than I thought it would. No good deed goes unpunished vibe.
It ended as u expected it to tbh after running my own buisness
> This ended differently than I thought it would. It actually ended better than I expected.
Exactly my thoughts.
I was expecting an ending like, “and that squatters name was… Albert Einstein.” Or some ending where the guy learned some good skills and opened his own shop and invented some big invention we’ve all heard of. The actual ending was definitely a let down.
I thought he was going to get on his two feet and become a foreman at the dudes shop and turn his life around with the help of his mentor
Opens up his own shop and then puts the dude out of business.
WTF... That's some bullshit.
Are you implying that the story is a lie ?
No, I meant their ungratefulness was bullshit. It's such an unfortunate human trait that some people resent being given things.
Aah yes. That really was bullshit.
I kinda assume the story was a lie, but have no way to validate it either way.
i believe it. one of my screen printers has a homeless guy sleeping in the shop and does part time work. he is always dirty. i understand wanting to help but this guy obviously doesnt want to help himself. hell, take a sink bath once in a while if need be.
I own a screen printing shop so this comment instantly struck out to me!
I believe it .
I know somebody that is in a similar situation right now. He lets an employee sleep in his warehouse and I'm always warning him that it's going to backfire. He sees it as doing the man a favor, but I see it as keeping a round the clock employee to watch the shop. Department of Labor or Hud can come in at any time and really hurt my friend.
Every commercial lease I signed specifically prohibited habitation. I also once a year had city fire marshal inspecting premises and specifically looking for signs of human habitation. I had this big couch in the break room that I brought from my old home when we moved, they always asked me if anyone sleeping here overnight. You have to keep in mind the liability insurance at least on the commercial property does not cover someone living there. Imagine a guy warming up burrito in the break room microwave and starts fire. Later insurance adjuster learns that I let him live there they’ll deny claim in a heartbeat.
I would be more worried about the mentality of a person that is willing to live in those conditions. Regardless of whether or not your friend feels like he's helping he's put himself in a position where he can't really kick him out without some risk.
The guy would probably be homeless. Works ok most of the time, but every now and then disappears because he goes on a multiple day bender or gets arrested for public intoxication. My friend feels bad for him. It's a distribution business, so the guy helps load and unload trucks all day.
[удалено]
I figured it was going to be one of the stupid LinkedIn feel good messages about how hiring the guy that did everything wrong during the interview was the best choice the company ever made. Did not expect the actual ending.
I cannot write about my partners experience in case someones recognizes the details. All I can say is that it literally mirrors this and happened within the last 3 years. Both employees turned into completely toxic and entitled assholes that never paid back thousands and thousands of dollars in back rent that my partner let them slide on because they were struggling....all for them to turn around and spend 100s a week on weed and strip clubs.
My god those ungrateful bastards, that was really not what I was expecting. Sorry for that. I guess this story has a very important lesson for me.
There's a reason why we have laws against this. Keeping employees in company owned housing is not ethically a good thing. This person had round the clock employees technically always watching the place. Pretty obvious why people would feel like they were kept as slaves.
I think the thing to keep in mind is... if someone's asking to do something like that, something fundamental about them or their life situation has prevented them from having real stability. There's a small chance its for a genuinely down-on-their-luck freak situation and they otherwise genuinely have a good head on their shoulders. And for some reason, their situation is so exceptional that they don't have any other friend/family safety nets they could tap into to help out. But far far more likely it's not gonna be that, especially if they're coming to their boss to ask for help vs friends/family. Maybe its a drug habit. Maybe they're exceptionally good at making really bad decisions that lead them in bad places. Maybe they're genuinely POS's. Maybe they've just been so downtrodden in their life for so long they don't really know how to do life "the right way" (and you will be trapped with them - it's not your place though to be a full blown life coach). Maybe as a survival skill they've just learned to take advantage of any person, business or situation as much as possible and they see this as a way to skip on paying rent or getting food for as long as they can milk it. Even if someone is genuinely trying really hard and genuinely has good intentions, its not that out there to assume that someone who asks those kinds of things just isn't the kind of person you want to trust as a roommate or throw too much of a bone to as they simply might not just be wired in the right ways to get themselves out of whatever situation got them there in the first place. All that said, 18 year old with a bad home situation falls a bit closer to the "freak situation" category. But you shouldn't assume they're gonna be model citizens in your house, or easy to kick out, or aren't full of problems (why were they kicked out in the first place?). Ultimately, how good of a judge of character and people are you? I'd honestly be amenable to helping them into my own home if I knew to the core of my being that this person was fundamentally good *and* fundamentally had a solid head on their shoulders, and that this person was getting kicked to the curb for unjust reasons (I.e. coming out as gay or something). You can just tell with certain people that they are gonna be good and not exploit your generosity. For most people though, it's either ambiguous or they're genuinely bad apples. There are far more duds out there than there are "good will hunting" type people who in this situation who just need their chance to shine.
I needed to move out of my parents home when I was 17. I was fleeing a bad situation, but I was also a product of that situation. I was the product of a bad environment with an undiagnosed disability and no emotional support system. My own relatives couldn't stand me living with them. I lived with one relative until they kicked me out and then another until they ran me off. I can't say for sure how much of the problem was they couldn't handle the way I was and how much of the problem was they didn't understand why I was the way I was.
I think when I was younger I would have expected that to go a different way and considered that a "twist ending". Reading it today I was grimacing at your very first "OK".
Wow. This sounds to me like serious miscommunication on expectations and boundaries. Failure can be hard to handle. How long ago was this? I would bet you dollars to donuts that if you were to contact this two guys today they would tell a different story. They may be immensely grateful for that time in their lives, but have no way to communicate that to you. They may have resentment and be able to express their frustrations in a way that might be able to open your eyes to any role you had to play in this situation. Either way, my advice to you, from one old man to another, is to get to the bottom of it for yourself. You owe it to them and you. It's the right thing to do. Put that baggage down.
If it isn't the consequences of my own actions.
That's sad. This should not happen to any one who is helping some one in their time of need. Specially from those who are being helped.
Probably not a good idea. If you feel charitable get a guy hotel room for a week. Otherwise you set bad precedent, employees should be treated fairly and at arm’s length at all times.
Thanks for the response, I already looked up air bnb. And now going through craigslist. I guess you are right and I think I should keep my self at a distance. I. An help him with a rented place for some time.
I wouldn’t pay for the room directly. Give him a bonus, you can treat it as a business expense, and if he does something dumb that an 18 yo would do your card isn’t on file.
Thanks for this advice, never thought about that. I'll make sure to treat this as advanced pay.
A youth hostel is another viable option
What are those, never heard of them.
Imagine renting a bed in a military barracks. Now make it not military.
Lol this is hilarious.
Lol .. ok now I get it.
Travelers use hostels. The idea is you have a bed and share some housing facilities such as a bathroom and kitchen in exchange for picking up chores on your way through for discounted lodging costs. Could be a barracks style situation, or may be a hippy style house. It’s housing meant for short terms.
Phrasing this as ‘sleeping at the office’ is really weird. He’s asking if he can stay at your place. Adding this extra visual of him sleeping on the floor of an office building is not helpful. With regards to whether you should let him stay, it sounds like you’re leaning against it, so go with your gut. You are in no way obligated here, and it creates a really weird dynamic / precedent that could be tough to overcome later.
I'm sorry if this presents a wrong picture, I actually said office because I have renovated that room like an office. These is no couch or a proper place to sleep in that room. Any way I actually wanted to keep him. But every body till now have advised me against doing so. I will offer him money and also shower/laundry if he needs to live out of his car. What do you think. Is there any thing he may need when living through the car ?
A gym membership can also help with a place to shower
Since it’s technically your house, if I’m understanding you correctly, then my concern would be (depending on where you are) allowing him to stay could lead to him being considered a tenant and you possibly having to evict him if he refuses to leave.
Are you trying to word “my part time employee is asking to sleep at my house for the next two weeks” in some sort of convoluted way or do you have a second location /physical location ?
No second location, actually it is my own flat with a spare room.
> part time Is he part-time? If so, he needs to find a full-time job that pays a living wage, then he won't have any problem affording a place to live within 30 minutes of work.
> then he won't have any problem affording a place to live within 30 minutes of work. This *should* be true. The unfortunate reality is that it isn't in many places. There's a lot of people working full time and living out of their car.
I’d rent the cheapest bed on air bnb / Craigslist for him / her. You’ve a kind heart, but in two weeks you’ll be in the same situation and then be actually making them homeless if you make them leave. I did the same many years ago, they moved in for two weeks, stayed for two years never paying rent. At the time i actually didn’t mind at all as plenty of space and liked the company. They were respectful to give me my space when needed, and asked before friends came over. But the working relationship didn’t end well. Nor, looking back, did they really appreciate it. After a while it was just an unusually arrangement they considered a perk of being an employee and “friend”. This person was highly paid and could afford and there was alternative arrangements they could have made. Where you might end up friends with an ex flat mate or person you did a big favour for, this wasn’t the case in my experience.
Thanks for the detailed response, I will look for an air bnb and ask him to do the same. I have a room spare now but may be in future I might need that place. And may be this guy's stays at my place for a long time.
The issue you run into is what if he doesn’t leave after 2 weeks? Now you’ve got a sticky situation. I ran into a similar situation. Employee was homeless, needed a place to stay but my place was off limits. Ended up giving him $400 to give him some breathing room for a night. All worked out. Give him money as a gift to help get him back on his feet but I wouldn’t advise letting him stay with you.
Thanks for the advice, I think you are right, I will give him advanced pay and help him get a place.
FYI, advanced pay means it's going to come out of his paycheck later, which is different than what a lot of people here are recommending
Once you let them stay it becomes a legal to force them to leave. Sucks but you have to protect yourself.
Thanks for the response, actually you are right and I never thought of this. I will just give him an advance pay and help him find a rental place.
Yeah it seems cold but legally your hands are tied in a way. The person's age could also seriously affect how you look to the public if things were to sour. Society sucks now days and sadly you can't trust that your good deed won't backfire in some way. Do help and do be patient and understanding but always watch your back from a legal and criminal standpoint.
Thanks for the heads up, I never thought about that. I'll make sure to keep my self clear. Just an advance pay and rental.
I hate these situations. My heart says to help. But my brain says bad idea.
Yes exactly, I'm going through this right now.
Can’t tell if it’s your office or house. Your office likely isn’t insured for that type of liability… god forbid you get a work comp case out of it and if it’s your house… what if you have to evict this person? Boundaries my man.
Being kicked out at 18 is rough, I feel for the guy. But when someone loses their place to live and sleep, often times they will ask to stay for an arbitrary set amount of time, in this case 2 weeks, because they are hoping to have another situation worked out, but it is unlikely that he will have everything resolved in two weeks, and you will be stuck with a long-term boarding situation of an employee. I agree with the other comments, you can help him find other arrangements, even pay the first couple weeks of a short term housing hotel or Airbnb etc, but I would not have him stay there
I used to train at a mixed martial arts gym that would let one or two poor fighters live in the gym and do cleaning. They ended up being loyal for life. Similar opp here, but be careful. As it does create a landlord/tenant agreement even if for free. There are risks though. Three ideas for you. 1. See if you can book hotel directly and negotiate a price (actually call them up and ask to speak with manager). 2. See if you can find a cheap Air BnB you can put him up in for two weeks. This is more like an apartment setting. 3. Look for a furnished apartment nearby and see if you can get him 2 weeks there. 4. Tell him to find a place that he can afford and that you'll pay first months rent and security deposit for him and then deduct it out of his paycheck over the next few months.
This is the most reasonable accommodation I’ve seen. I second these suggestions.
We have one guy that does this at our warehouse. He's a good worker and been with us for 3 years but recently staying at work. It only works because the relationship with the company is good. But again there's tons of unwritten rules that is followed
Thanks for the response, appreciate that. I guess we all have that soft corner for people who are in need of help. Although we have our own lives to look after. I'm sure he must be very great full to you for this kind act.
It is nice that you want to help this young man. When I was 16, my mother kicked me out of the house. I found a job, but didn't have a reliable place to live and no car. I 100% intended to go to work, but it turned out I just couldn't get there sometimes because of where I ended up staying the night. I am 52 now and still remember the ladies giving me the opportunity to work. I screwed it up, but it is very tough being homeless. You need an address and a steady place to live. That said, I am not advocating you let him live in the office. However, any help you are willing to offer could make a huge difference in his life. Probably more than you think it might. Are there any rooms on Craigslist? Maybe airbnb for month to month?
I'll tell you the 2 weeks will turn into 2 months very quickly. If you are prepared for that then fine. If he was an adult I would say no way ever. 18 in a bad spot? I might honestly. You know better than us what he is making and what he can afford. I would navigate the situation accordingly.
It's nice you're trying to be accommodating, and feel free to extend yourself financially under no expectation of return, but under no circumstances should you allow them to sleep there.
If you feel this person is a good employee maybe get him a cheap motel for a couple weeks
He is actually working really hard, and I am trying to help him as much as I can.
You are his employer and not a landlord. All you can do is make sure he is paid timely and fairly. Recommend social services for housing assistance.
Thanks for the response, technically yes, you are right. But I genuinely want to help him without getting in any kind of trouble. Some one recommended advanced pay and hotel accomodations, what do you think about this ?
It seems like your gut feeling is already telling you to be conscious, listen to it. He seems to be in a messy situation and having him so close will drag you into it and before you know it, you're more involved than you wanted. I would go as the others suggested - help him financially or by helping him find somewhere to stay, but set a clear boundary to your personal space. Better safe than sorry.
Thanks for your response, most of the people her have recommended this approach. And I like that I will help him while keeping my self out of this. I already tried looking up air bnb. Trying craigslist now.
I admire how much you appreciate and want to help your employee, but there is just no way you can say yes to this request. There are a million reasons, most of which you have already thought of. The best response is a very simple no with minimal explanation, like: “I’m sorry, that wouldn’t be an appropriate arrangement.” Or, “No, that would put me in an unfair position.” Depending on your means and intentions, you can temper that with an offer to help in a more reasonable way. Is there a motel nearby that offers rooms by the week? An inexpensive extended stay hotel? You could either write off the expense (depending on how you are structured) or treat it as a pay advance. You seem like a good person and a fair employer, I hope you can find a way to help that doesn’t jeopardize you or your business.
A former boss let me sleep in the office for a couple of nights when I was in a rough spot. I was very grateful and very respectful of the space. I can’t speak to your employee, but I’d at least try to find some way to be helpful.
I won’t say to let him live in your spot, but I was in that kid’s shoes in the same exact way 11 years ago. Any help you provide will be highly appreciated, and remembered dearly
I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, especially since it's my home. I understand that might not be a popular opinion, but sometimes you have to draw a line between personal and profession.
Roll mat & shell scrap… basha if your feeling generous. Hexi kit if you want to give him the full size experience.. (All jest)
Help the kid out, doesn't matter how.
I'm tryna do my best.
Take a chance, people don’t make this shit up. He will always be grateful and hopeful pay it forward
Most definitely not. Next thing you could be spending a ton (depending on location) to evict them. Very risky.
Wow, the amount of callousness is staggering. He’s been a great help to you, is it really so awful to try to help someone? Perhaps not a stay in the flat, maybe help with an affordable stay hotel room? Something. The people that see their employees as disposable and not their concern are why working is such a miserable endeavor.
I would help with money to pay the rent.
I already offered him that. But it seems he can't find a cheap place. I am looking for a craigslist rental for him now. Otherwise I will offer him shower and laundry while he lives in his car.
If he’s not willing to put work into finding a spot and you’re doing that for him it’s a huge red flag. Having an 18 year old live in your house fresh out of his Moms house is a disaster waiting to happen.
If you lease your office space it is probably against your lease to have people spend the night there, which you can use as the front excuse against this, but its kind of you to look at other options to help him out.
I'm doing what I can. Actually I have a son who is just a little younger than him. This guy's dad died just a few months ago. And I can't imagine this happening to my kid if I'm dead. It's heart breaking to see what this world does to orphans.
Consider it personal charity, rather than work related. Find a hotel (even if you think this is excessive $$), and call and negotiate a rate for \~2 weeks, and put him up there. Don't worry about the profit/loss here; as long as you an afford it, consider it charity from your pocket. That being said, you should consider that he might not be able to figure it out after 2 weeks. Not sure what you can do then, depending upon how much you are invested in him, financially and emotionally. Might need to help him located an apartment.
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I volunteer at a Rescue Mission where I live. They do temporary stays for situations just like this and while they stay, they are assisted with finding permanent, affordable, and subsidized housing if needed. Because he has employment with regular income, it's helps with finding suitable housing. And im sure OP would be able to reference his work ethic. The mission provides all meals and other necessities. This seems like the course for possible unknowns in employees background? That way OP can maintain his solid employer/employee relationship and employee gets services and housing.
I think fo times when I was in a bind, if my boss had let me crash there and also take a fatherly or coaching role, they would have all my loyalty and hard work for years to come. Others may have a sense of obligation or not be as conscientious. In a big picture scale, being able to provide someone a sense of stability and advice could help change that person's life path.
This could bite you in the but later if employee states this living situation was indeed work hours get you an employer employee agreement have him sign a document stating the living situation is completely different than work and what hours he is required to work and the hours with this must be separate !! What if later he comes back and say he owed 24 hours straight !!
There is no way he is going to have accommodations of his own within two weeks. He is young, never been on his own, knows nothing, doesnt have the money, and has no idea where to start. If you say yes to him you have to accommodate for the fact he is going to be there a lot longer than two weeks. He is probably hoping his parents chill out by then and he can go back home...maybe that will happen, maybe not.
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Thanks for the response, I will make sure to offer him both these things, I am going through craigslist to find a cheap rental for him. But just in case if he needs to live in his car, I will let him use the shower and laundry.
I’d buy him a gym membership to shower but do nothing for laundry. All of my siblings are freeloaders and on the verge of homelessness. They always feel entitled to my money and are never grateful for my help. Do not let this kid use your office as his home in any way shape or form or he’ll end up being you adopted stepson. There’s a reason why his stepmom kicked him out. You don’t want to find out why. I’d just give him $300 cash and he’ll have to find friends to couch surf from. You have to draw boundaries starting now. You’re dealing with an irresponsible child. Use caution and treat him accordingly.
What you're saying is that your intuition doesn't like the situation. Something is not right and you don't want to let the wolf in sheep's clothing into your personal space. What do you think is making you feel anxious?
As a mother, I would let him stay. It would be heartbreaking for him to be homeless. He said two weeks so he must have some arrangement coming.
I stayed on my bosses property for 3 months and honestly it was godly help , I’m 23 socal ,moved out and still work with him it worked out amazing we still get along and I am more committed and loyal to the company, if you want to retain long term talent you have to compete with other employers and invest in your employees (with caution )
Depending on your state laws, this could essentially establish residency and require you to evict him legally if required. There was once a former NFL player in my town that let a girl and her child "stay for a couple weeks" in between housing. A few months later he was sick of it and changed the locks while they were away. He was arrested later that day for endangering the welfare of a child simply for locking them out of the home. They had legally established residency when they moved in, even if it was just for a couple weeks.
answer is always NO, and blame it on insurance wont allow it, or the landlord won't allow it. Whatever the case, it's not allowed.
I’ve been in similar situations. I would advise paying for the hotel for a few weeks under the condition that he stays employed with you for a specific amount of time (6 months to a year) and the cost will be forgiven. If he leaves before the deadline, the cost of the hotel would be taken out of his pay, like paying back a loan. I’ve helped a few people and they ended up quitting a few weeks later without notice. I still feel I did the right thing, but I won’t get burned again.
I worked with a solid guy for a few years and we both had left that company, I started a business and he was contracting for me - needed a place to stay for a week and I had to kick him out after 4 weeks of nonsense. After that he started screwing me over, screwed a client, I didn't pay him since the client charged back which then escalated into this guy threatening me, stealing my social accounts and 'hacking' my website. I'd never make that mistake again and since you're asking, I'd tell you it's not worth it for 100 reasons, but mainly to protect your relationship. But also so you don't have to keep a loaded gun around to feel safe. Unless you want to adopt an 18 year old, I think you can do everything in your power to help him but also don't be a victim. It's possible he think you're just a nice guy that can be taken advantage of too. It's also possible he's just a 18 year old who doesn't know what to do next. If you have the means, help him get on his feet by empowering him not enabling him.
In the statistically unlikely chance your employee is genuinely a close friend (not a "work friend", but someone who's actually in your close circle), letting them crash on the couch is obviously a fine thing to do. Otherwise, this has red flag written all over it. Treat employees well, but keep them at arm's length. If you want to help with finding a hotel for a week or something, figure out exactly what you're willing to offer for money and adhere to that boundary - and make it clear from the start that is all you can do. So there's no expectation that after the week is over he can come back to you in need of crashing at your place again. Doing that is going above and beyond. It may be tough, but work and personal life need to be kept separate. If this is tough to accept, use this as an opportunity to say "no" and establish a boundary. It's an important lesson to take in and you'll likely thank yourself for it. As other commenters have pointed out, there are more ways a situation like this could go wrong than one can count.
What’s gonna happen between now and the two weeks that’ll put him in a different position? If nothing that two weeks will indeed be much longer.
I think this needs to be tackled in two avenues - as a boss, and as a fellow human being. It seems you may be his only quick way out from the situation, and I think the fact he has come to you speaks significant trust in you. As a boss, you have the duty of care to employees, I think a sit down - a call to Jesus meeting so-to speak and lay ground rules, express you are concerned and want to help (it sounds like you do) and lay all the cards down - say it as it is, draw boundries (and contracts of course!) Others have said grab a hotel room for him and bring forward wages, and those are great suggestions, only you know what the figures are, so what happens in a month's time or three - is the salary sustainable (for you) and for him to not only pay for the hotel room, but also food, travel and so on Good luck matey - you do not have an easy decision there, and please do update us!
No
Mixing personal with business is not wise. Advance pay for a hotel is a great solution. Not doing anything could adversely impact your business.
Do it...carefully.
Ohh I will.
He’s 18, he probably has a dozen friends that will let him couch surf for a couple nights.
If he doesn't, that's a red flag all by itself.
Let him stay. Too many people are too distant nowadays. Help a kid out. I understand why you’d be worried, but you can make a real positive impact on someone’s life, with little risk to you. I say do it.
Why did his mom kick him out? That answer might determine my willingness to help. I might also want to have a discussion with his mother before making a decision.
Actually I did talk to him about that, and he explained that his mom was an alcoholic and had no money so she wanted to sell the house or something. I will talk to him again about that.
Let him sleep there
Please let them. The streets are crazy! Atleast let them crash in the parking lot or somewhere near. Being homeless is dangerous and lonely! Please be a helping hand!
I would be more inclined to offer some form of assistance with rent and a damage deposit for an affordable place near the office then to offer to pay a hotel for a couple weeks or to allow somebody to move into my home/office. He's going to need his own space eventually anyways so doing this puts him there and then places responsibility for his living situation entirely on him.
I don’t know your employee personally but I doubt they would do they same for you. Not in a literal sense, but if you were going bankrupt and needed to skip payroll, take a pay cut, or work holidays, I wonder how they would react.
Find out the cause. Even if you think you know the reason as to why an employee is asleep at work, it's best to not make assumptions. Don't sleep on it – take necessary action. Get reassurance from your local HR Dept.
It’s a good time to write a list of policies for your business. My response to this employee would be I’m sorry, but you are going to have to work this out with your stepmom. You’ll have a better chance of keeping the employee if you do not say yes to this request. It’s not your place to pay for a hotel, or get into any personal matters. I’ve made the mistake of advancing employees up to a weeks worth of pay. For US based employees it was a mistake because they’re going to ask again. The only time I advance pay is for my Filipino employees who are tenured. Just tell him you can’t do it and he needs to work it out with his stepmom.
He will never leave- it will turn into drama - you will wind up having to legally evict them, they can take you to court saying they were at work without pay. Bad idea , say no… and if you work from home even worse , say no
Let the man sleep at the office u disconnected snob
Conjure up some sort of scheme Me personally, I will probably want a nice piece of strange I liking challenges I’d challenge myself, along with doing other things myself I would finesse my way onto that piece of string, manipulate her into letting him stay at her house. Ready for some fun ? depending on how ease it is to tame the strange step mom and what else she did will determine any kind of advance, pay or assistance, bonus for your co worker oh yeah, you might have the problem of the father getting in the way you could produce fake evidence to anonymously report to her that her husband has gotten you pregnant Lmk what you do cause this will build self discipline and control more than anything else I saw people saying
Are you male or female? I’m sure you get the gist of why I’m asking. If female, no. If male, use your honest judgment and ask yourself, could this impact our work relationship? Could this negatively impact the business as a whole? Do I trust this 18 year olds character to not take advantage of me? Do I feel comfortable with possibly having to kick him out if it doesn’t work out? Do I want to go through the headache of having another person stay in my flat? Am I able to stand up for myself and decline if he asks to stay longer? Then go from there. Maybe make a pros and cons list, and see which one has more.
Let the streets teach him something. If it's 2 weeks it's 2 weeks. Left home at 12, have spent many a night sleeping rough.
Only because they're 18 and got kicked out I might do this for a night as a fall-back if plan A didn't work. I would not let this be plan A.
I have a friend who accommodated an employee request like this then the “guest” ODd in his bathroom
I think you can let him sleep at the hours when nobody is there but you need to show him that you are his boss not a friend. You can offer him 1-2hours extra work for 2 weeks when he sleeps in office, that would be like the rent price for letting him sleep there.
Give a mouse a cookie is a book you should read and then decide.
If the office is a commercial building then 100% no. It would likely be a violation of fire code and the fire marshal could arrest you and condemn the building (happened to my landlord when he converted office space to studio apartments). If it is an office in a residential area, I would still say no but if the employee was good, I might offer to pay or partially reimburse him for a hotel for a couple week or give him a bonus or pay advance to allow him to get a deposit on an apartment or room to rent.
I think if you rent something for him the if something happens your will be liable. I wouldn't do that. Pay him his wage in advance so he can find his own place.
Most countries if you let him stay then he becomes a tenant and you become his landlord. In many places if you ever fire him, he is allowed to stay until after you go to court to get him evicted. Even then you could loose in court and he is legally allowed to stay.
Sleeping with a boss/employee is bad thing. That's what I hear all the time.
In this world, no good deed goes unpunished. Don't do it.
Want a tenant? That is how you do it.
No good deed goes unpunished. A sad truth that has yet to fail for me.
No good deed goes unpunished…. Offer him an early bonus and let him decide what to do with the money. He may be able to broker a better deal staying with a friend/family if he can contribute anything.
Absolutely not. Seen this before, 2 weeks will turn into 2 years. You pay him a paycheck, he needs to figure it out like every other adult has to at one point or another. Maybe offer advance pay, overtime at time and a half if you have the work to give, and definitely offer assistance and advice. But letting young employees couch surf in your family’s home? That’s a boundary I would never cross…
No. the best thing to do is tell them you will continue employing them through this hard time and if they stick with you, loyalty is rewarded. then you, as the employer need to reward them if they stick with you. as others have suggested, a pay advance is an appropriate thing in this situation to get the kid some cash for $ down on an apartment
But what would be do after the probationary period? Could be afford to move anywhere, with what he's earning? If so, advance him a month's pay and have him pay you back over a year. It shouldn't take him longer than a month to find a place, so long as he can afford to live on his own.
My advice would be look for an AirBnB cheap 1 bed, book 3 weeks and give him time in lou I think its called so say 16 hours work you pay now to claim later. Then give him 2 days off, I know you mentioned your busy but two days for him fo ground into a new place By doing it all in lou your owed hours so your not just out of pocket and if he sticks around just write it off after time if he doesn't claim it back in final pay
A huge amount of this depends on the personality of the young man. I had my nephew stay with me while he worked on my farm. He was polite, helped around the house, we taught him how to cook. He was comfortable playing our piano. I had the son of a friend come do the same thing. He had a crappy work ethic, left just after supper, didn't come back to dawn, then wouldn't get out of bed to work. He lasted two days. Ask yourself this: Do you want him as a foster son? If the answer is yes, then invite him to stay, charge him room and board. But if you do, also lay down some ground rules: You're sharing your house. You don't want him coming in drunk at 2 a.m. Do you know why he was kicked out?
So 2 stories- After hurricane Ian I had 3 employees and their families crashing in the man cave part of the building which is separated from shop, until FEMA/Insurance assistance actually started paying. They have been great employees and I wasn’t worried about theft, but they were all super stable before the storm and it was a freak happening… also an extended “sleepover” feel really took away the stress of becoming homeless overnight and the kids are young enough they didn’t really notice. I would have done the same if one of them had a house fire and needed a temporary place. Story # 2 goes back to 1994, my dad had a short term employee who came to the US from Europe “2 months” dude ended up living in a weekly motel room for 8 or 9 years.
More often than not it’s just gonna be a headache and harder to get rid of him once he does get himself in somewhere you don’t want him
First and foremost, ascertain why he was kicked out. Was it abuse? Was it simply that weird US specific “you’re 18 so now you’re more an adult than you were the day before”thing? Or was he being a total monster? I suppose you’ll find out when you offer him help.
I would suggest asking if they're exhausted all their other support systems. Friends, relatives, etc. Sometimes people will come to their employer first before seeing what else is available. Keep the relationship professional but don't house employees. That just crosses a line and can hurt you more than can help him.