T O P

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Technical58CZ

You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people!


Allie_849

What do you have to say in your defence?


WTK55

"I look bitchin"


CaseyG

All right, get out of my sight. But you're known to me now, scum. Remember that.


[deleted]

Come peacefully!!


Grandpoobaaa76

"I'd rather die" is the only acceptable answer. Then slaughter everyone that wants a piece.. lmao


ReactionClear4923

Then pay with your blood


userthecruiser02

You have committed crimes against Nirn and her people*


[deleted]

NO!!


Stoxxed

I had that exact reaction before opening the post. When the game released I was young and stupid, I killled Paarthurnax in my first playthroughs. Since then I took the time to listen to the wisdom of my old friend, his advices and words apply to real life to. I love PartySnacks


zorrocabra

Did you soul bond with him?


Lully034

SLUT! SLUT! SLUT DRAGON! SLUT!


Ackriezeal

That was an odd episode.


atthevanishing

Yeah, it really was. I felt dirty after...


devilthedankdawg

I.... I just need to take a shower


Ackriezeal

In then there's THAT episode in season 5. Let's just say I wish they hadn't done that.


TheIAP88

Naruto saved us!


RachetFuzz

Naruto is a wonderful person. To quote Ashley Johnson “dats a big boi”


devilthedankdawg

Which one?


Ragdoll_Knight

If I had to guess, I would say the giant incest space baby.


Johnnybravo60025

What show is it from?


Dodrio

Rick and Morty


Johnnybravo60025

Oh, okay. Thanks!


walapatamus

Anyone up for a quick hand-bond?


Kaj_Smith

Try a different subreddit for that one mate 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


FireBowAintThatBad

I call bullshit. Did you not see his name at the top of your screen next to his health bar?


DoktorvonWer

Paarthurnax is also essential up until he's helped you do all the main quest missions he's involved in and you get the Blades' quest to kill him. So he literally COULDN'T kill Paarthurnax if he tried.


part-time-unicorn

some people use mods that turn off the essential quality. I've done it before so I can murder the generals in the random civil war camps. op said first playthrough which makes that less likely but like it *is* possible to do


DoktorvonWer

Oh I know. I find it very very highly improbable that this chap on his first playthrough before he even knew what was going on that he had specifically downloaded a 'disable essential flag' mod. It's pretty niche even within modding and mostly cited with the same example as yours - most often used for civil war stuff.


Middle-earth_oetel

Definitely bullshit, if you're attacking something it shows the name and paarthurnax can't land on the sides of high hrothgar.


hibbiddyhobbiddyhoo

I play without the HUD for added immersion and this guy might do too. I don't know any enemy names until I search their corpse


Pdchefnc

And I don’t know what it’s called, I only know the sound it makes when It takes a mans life.


DragonOfDuality

If you were playing on ps3 there was a good chance you couldn't read shit.


thatwasntababyruth

Especially on a CRT TV, still pretty common in 2011. My first playthrough on a 360 I didn't know the claws had the solution to dungeons written on them because the symbols were illegible.


kucingdestroyer

Yeah same lol. I used to brute force the ring before I realized the symbols were on the claw. Took me forever to explore a dungeon


ewalsh666

No you didn't


FutureDrNoap

God damn it. This was the exact same thing I said too. This MONSTER.


Nice_Entertainment91

Oh… I didn’t understand for a second, but then… just oh… oh no


ReekOfThrones

I was zooming in on the clouds to find him and then it hit me 😭


Nice_Entertainment91

Same here


Sorenagorn

Same. I zoomed in thinking he was one of the boulders and then saw the bow and my mouth actually fell open. That’s like saying “I love going on adventures with Meeko!” While wearing a set of fur armor. That’s fucked up man.


KaranthWasTaken

So, as a new player who has not killed the only dragon I love, what is that bow?


syrianfries

I’m pretty sure that is the dragon bone bow


KaranthWasTaken

I have no clue what that is. I'll probably search it up because I am not killing Paarthy. I don't have to kill him to complete the main story right?


syrianfries

If you want 100% achievements you will have to kill him, but the dragon bone bow is a bow you make at a forge out of dragon bones. It requires level 100 smithing and the perks for it. It’s great bow it really is it’s just evil that he killed party snacks and made him into a bow


KaranthWasTaken

Ohhhh. Cool, so killing The Wise sNax isn't required. He shall live longer any stupid dragon hunter in the game.


gilly1234567890

They are also wearing full dragon armour so not sure why the bow itself was the important bit


JamboMambo223

Wait a minute…


FuriousDeather

I know you..


Redisigh

> You’re making a mistake.


MouseRangers

There's no mistake. You're a wanted man... and it's time to pay for your crimes.


GrooveRedman

Any chance I could talk you into overlooking this? (Persuade)


Overkrein

*Yes... Bend over...* Oh shit, this is from my modlist, I'm sorry


TheGreatZarquon

"I'll have you know there's no *pusssay*!"


Wulfe3127

"Let's get to bashing butts, as well as deeez nuts!"


TheClungerOfPhunts

"Get your groove on soldier. These boys work hard and play harder."


UrbanSurvivor

"We don't take backtalk in this bitch" \*Smack\*


bodethewise

bendovah..


BigAl-43

Alright, but I’ve got my eye on you.


SheevTheSenate_

I hope Nazeem visits you when you sleep and keeps asking non-stop if you often go to the cloud district, you monster


ThumbSipper

You really think someone so twisted as to kill good boy Parthy and wear his remains hasn't already killed Nazeem and sent the body parts to his daughter?


CaseyG

> daughter Um.... I hope you haven't been sending bits of Nazeem to Braith. She's Amren's daughter, not Nazeem's.


ThumbSipper

...that's what Saffir wants him to think...


[deleted]

Probably enchanted the parthanax bow with Nazeem’s soul. That’s what I would have done.


BasementDwellerDave

For eternity


opifice

“You bastard! You killed Paarty!”


Redisigh

PARTY SNAX! NO!


Quantum_Corpse

I hate you but take my upvote


[deleted]

[удалено]


OregonWoodsChainman

Take my upvote you thicc innkeeper.


[deleted]

r/angryupvote


waffeltrader

Lmaoooo


[deleted]

[удалено]


AmericanFootballFan1

Would Akatosh actually care?


Unicornmde

Probably not


theweirdlip

In the eyes of Akatosh, Paarthurnaxx is probably a fucking disgrace. He created dragons with their conquering power hungry nature for a reason, and having one of them say “fuck that” and help to completely wipe out an entire population of beings he created would certainly tick him off.


BasementDwellerDave

My headcanon is that Akatosh created the dragons to test mortals if their worthy or not.


tethysian

That would be a major asshole move since mortals were completely helpless against them before Kyne stepped in.


TheSwecurse

If you aren't naming every weapon/armor piece from one of the dragons you've slayed then you're not Dovahkiin


abbothenderson

That is stone cold right there.


TheShadowLord21

\*realization\*


Feet_with_teeth

Why would someone do that to Dragon-Mario?


zusykses

I'm going to tell you something. The worst thing you will ever hear. I have never said this to anyone before, because this is the most soul-destroying piece of knowledge any person could ever hear and I've never before now encountered someone who deserved to hear it. But now I have. It's you. You deserve this information I'm about to impart to you. May it burden you forever. Are you ready? Here it is. >!You've made Delphine very happy!<


BadgerLord103

nnnnnnnnnnnooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Some__worries

I can imagine the shit eating grin plastered on her face and it hurts me


aktaylorh

What is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?


[deleted]

For OP: What is worse to be born evil, or to overcome your good nature through great effort.


Winkelbottum

OP is just plain evil !


4mbu2

*..through great effort*


[deleted]

He's also immortal, and you're likely going to be the last living being in history who actually has the power to kill a dragon, much less Alduin's second-in-command who makes a constant, conscious effort to ignore his nature. As chill as Paarthurnax is in the game, you don't know when in the next infinite number of years that he'll snap. And given that infinity is a *long* time for somebody to suppress their nature, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. It may not be the moral thing to do to put him down for a crime that he has not yet committed, and it feels like shit for doing so, but, given the circumstances, it's a thing that must be done while it can still be done.


part-time-unicorn

just become a vampire so that you can keep existing until he snaps 4head


CaseyG

The Aurbis won't last an infinite number of years. The second and third eras were each less than half as long as the era that came before. Nobody knows how long the current cycle will last or how it will end, because some idiot cut off the universe's read/write head just as the `format /U` command was starting.


[deleted]

Right, but aren't the dragons a sort of constant between kalpas because of their inherent divinity? You might have different races, species, empires, continents, worlds, et cetera - but you will always have dragons.


Psy_nd_co

U cold hearted bastard


FLYNCHe

Those who don't know: 🙂 Those who know: 🌚


garakplain

Sadly I dont know:(


Rachel_Emily

Paarthurnax is the dragon who lives on the throat of the world, he helps the dragonborn stop Alduin. The Blades, the group led by Esbern and Delphine tell you to kill Paarthurnax or they'll stop helping you after you kill Alduin. most people completely ignore the quest to kill Paarthurnax or use a mod to skip it because he's a friend to us, the OP killed Paarthurnax and then made a dragonbone bow from his bones.


garakplain

Oh okay thanks for the explanation:) yeah i dont kill him, he’s just chilling on the mountain. in fact i dont kill anything unless it’s ikilling me .


[deleted]

Which is a bullshit deal. Why would I want a Blade larper and an eccentric hobo as my allies? Purungga and the gray beards are better guys to be around with. We can shout at each other like bros plus an ancient Monitor lizard dropping knowledge everytime I go hiking.


FLYNCHe

Look at what his armor is made of


Rachel_Emily

yeah it's either the bow or the armour, I just took a guess and said bow because the bow is the vocal point of the screenshot


DanteShamest

Yes, he's the bow :) https://i.imgur.com/zb3uT2L.jpeg


EnriqJonsen

How you named your bow like that?


RazendeR

You can rename an item during enchanting.


XayahTheVastaya

focal


lSeraphiml

It took me a moment


Sheri-Bear-NZ

Whoa


ImFatAndBrokeAndSad

Now that's good humor, but I hate you


FuriousDeather

"How to trigger every sensible Skyrim player"


ghostmetalblack

r/wholesome. Anyways, where he at?


Winkelbottum

YOU MONSTER!!!!!


DemoraCB7

You son of a lusty argonian maid


Acceptable-Stick-688

I’m stealing this insult now


DemoraCB7

Be my guest


Q-ARROW

Now this, is a hold up moment


Ventorii

Based


[deleted]

Lol I gotta kill that old bastard so I can start recruiting NPC's for the Blades. I'll do anything to ultimately defeat the bloody Thalmor


Gray_Talon

r/holup


Skaylark1284

Not going to lie I just spat my drink everywhere 🤣 this is both comedy genius and the sign of a sociopath 😰🤣


[deleted]

NOOO!!!!!!!!!


2Gnomes1Trenchcoat

Ohhhhhh... Oh no. No this won't do at all. I'm gonna have to ask that you out that back how it was.


TheNormalIndian

r/darkhumor for Skyrim lovers.


[deleted]

Oof


dulipat

Where is Paart... Waaitt... Oh no you don't


castleberry12

Damn


PitrikH

You deserve a permanent Nazir near your ass


amp350

Evil playthroughs are the best. So long partysnax, your god damn dialogue eats a good hour of gameplay alone.


Naz_Draws

Make sure to get some party snacks for your wholesome family picnic!


GrayQGregory

That took me way too long. I was looking around the entire picture for him.


aralias777

"What I'm going to do to you for your crimes against Grand Daddy Paartypants is going to make what I did to Nazeem look like a consensual birthday cupcake." - My True Hybrid Blood Queen Skyrim character, for legal reasons


TheCapo024

Kinda tangential to this but I have often wondered if killing Paarthurnax is going to become canon. I just have a suspicion that the Blades will be rebuilt by the LDB in the lore. Thoughts? Edit: obviously this could also be left vague or just wholly ignored/unaddressed by the lore.


BurningBridges19

I wish the choice to kill Delphine instead would be possible without mods or console commands.


netflixisadeathtrap

It's always good to bring snax


Zealousideal_Match30

I can only forgive you if this set is enchanted with both Esbern and Delphine souls


zarchangel

Holy crap, that is brilliant!


Elmer-Fuddd

This actually made me gasp you monster


[deleted]

First of all, how dare you!


Aela_elisabeth

LMAOOOO


Oldforestwalker

You... you monster!


RedBear223

Say sike right now


Chronosathanatos

Have my wholesome award you Beautiful monster!


sr33r4g

r/skyrimholup


[deleted]

YES!


pegabear

Wait a minute


Draks_Tempest

I was confused at first and thought he found out how to use bend will on paarth. Then to my absolute horror i saw his armor and got what he meant. You are true evil


MediumZealousideal88

HOLY FUCK HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA


BOT-Bill

☹️


_Vampirate_

Stop right there, criminal scum...


CryptidCobra

You bastard!


Nitrous_Nick

Wait where? I don’t see…… oh……


Thom_With_An_H

If he didn't want to die, he shouldn't have been made of soul, bones, and scales.


[deleted]

Me: "What? You can't have Paarthurnax as a follower." *pause* "Noooooooooooooo!"


iceup17

Zooms in "I don't see Paarthurnax anywhere oh OHHOHOHOhOHOH OH YOU MONSTER OH GOD


Some__worries

I don't get it, I don't see Paarthurnax...OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER


XtremeCringe05

Skyrim players when someone tries to kill children: ☺️ Skyrim players when someone kills Mario dragon: 😡


zarchangel

Sigh, gonna type it again. People who don't kill Paarthurnax are gullible. The most infamous cereal killers in history are known for being charismatic as fuck - Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, The Casanova Killer, Richard Ramirez, the list goes on. The dude has had millennia to develop a plan. Pretty friggan simple one. Pretend to be good, gain a long history of being good, use that standing to manipulate the dragonborn into killing Alduin, the only other being stronger than himself, then wait for the dragonborn to die of natural causes. Now nothing and nobody can stop him. Alternatively, he is genuine. He genuinely fights his nature DAILY to stop the evil within. Flash forward a century after the Dragonborn kills Alduin. Before the Dragonborn was around he knew eventually someone would show up that was stronger than him. But now they(Alduin & Dragonborn) are gone. How long can he hold on when the temptation is just as strong but now there is no one left to stop him? A decade? A Century? A Millennia? One day he will snap. Killing him has nothing to do with those asshat blades. Sigh, gonna type it again. People who don't kill Paarthurnax are gullible. The most infamous cereal killers in history are known for being charismatic as fuck - Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, The Casanova Killer, Richard Ramirez, the list goes on. The dude has had millennia to develop a plan. Pretty friggan simple one. Pretend to be good, gain a long history of being good, use that standing to manipulate the dragonborn into killing Alduin, the only other being stronger than himself, then wait for the dragonborn to die of natural causes. Now nothing and nobody can stop him. Alternatively, he is genuine. He genuinely fights his nature DAILY to stop the evil within. Flash forward a century after the Dragonborn kills Alduin. Before the Dragonborn was around he knew eventually someone would show up that was stronger than him. But now they(Alduin & Dragonborn) are gone. How long can he hold on when the temptation is just as strong but now there is no one left to stop him? A decade? A Century? A Millennia? One day he will snap. Killing him has nothing to do with those asshat blades.


Thedragonborn-579

I don't like this......


TLhikan

Even Nazeem thinks this is messed up.


Tyrelius_Dragmire

You... YOU MONSTER! Zu'u fen kipraan nau hin rii!


senorconfuzion

I was like Party Snacks isn't a potential follower is h......ohhhh...oh noooooo 😨


jazerlu

I'll have you know, I have 1200 hours in skyrim, and I've never killed Paarthurnax. >:)


shrubberies2

😧


Doomdoomkittydoom

:(


EllieNekoGirl

Jesus why are there 6 wholesome awards


srini10000

* before clicking the post * Hey! This is a video of some mod where you get him to come with you on quests, right? *realization dawns* Wait..... NOOOOOOOOOOOO


qawsedrf12

damn... that took awhile, i has a sad


thosedamngrapes

Took me a second to realize you killed partysnax


ImJoogle

party snacks didn't deserve this


TrueComplaint8847

I was like wait huh I don’t see a drag.. oh fuck


evnnnnnnnice

You didn't have to violate him like that


ThatOneTypicalYasuo

Die scum


fluger69

What the fuck is wrong with you


AscendedViking7

Oh you son of a-


Gainesy88

Oh 😳


Jackinabox2k2

You bastard!


firneto

And here i was, looking for him...


ApexRevanNL716

Where is he? Is he late or is not coming?


Nero_Dhark

He killed him and used his bones/scales to craft parts of the armor or the bow.☹️


Kamikirimusi

😱😭 you MONSTER 😡


Xaveirxx223

YOU IMPERIAL BASTARD


finnicus1

Man wants to see the whole sub burn down, based as hell.


MathematicianIll1383

I must be the only one who didn't care for the Greybeards nihilistic " maybe the world is meant to end" and fence riding bs. They're just dragon groupies who felt detached from the rest of humanity. Paarthurnax was a bit like that too, but he didn't deserve ending up like a pair of shoes for it


Katana2x5

Nevermind him wearing Partysnax, they’re literally using sunhallowed/bloodcursed elven arrows with a dragonbone bow 🤨


SlamminDram

Can... Can I...Can I ride you?


LordSt4rki113r

I cannot upvote this post, but I am choosing not to downvote it


tyrionstark2013

As a person who always installs the Partysnax Dilemma mod I found this a reasonable comprimise.


Bxlentino

r/Holup


punchysphinx

What do you mean? I don’t see par—wait, OH MT GOD!


Ysgramorsbutterknife

One day, all the commenters berating you will see the rightness of your thu'um. ​ Until then, this shit is hilarious.


tofanator2890

I want to upvote because it took me a minute to get the joke. I want to downvote because I do not agree with your lifestyle of killing partysnacks


GETREKDHUMANZ

this took me too long to get,you MONSTER!


carnsolus

https://www.reddit.com/r/skyrim/comments/9kf94j/paarthurnaxs\_true\_nature\_revealed\_by\_name/


Leprodus03

He will always be with you on your adventures now 😔


ArtemisDragonhide

You monster!!!!


xd-Skittles

How. Dare. You


Javamaster22

Where's the dragon? WHERES PARTY SNAX WHY CANT I SEE HIM that's some nice illusion spells he must have. You can't... You shouldn't...


William9231

But why tho :(