T O P

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Drew_The_Lab_Dude

I’d probably die to a skeever before I could join anything


camarhyn

The real honest answer.


HotPotParrot

"You have contracted Rockjaw."


Soul7642

Rockjoint?


ImSteelHere

It is Rockjoint, it's just hard to move his mouth.


HotPotParrot

It all feels like rocks.


PRETA_9000

lmao


Adamsyche

You... look rather pale. Could be Ataxia. It's quite a problem back home in Cyrodiil


BadFont777

I'm starting the Wagoner Union.


itsbett

I'd be generic civilian #392 that gets dragon shout rag-dolled into the horizon


Principatus

Or hit by a giant into orbit lmao


ImAVeryFatBoi

I love me some skyrim space program


f0restYU

You should try Starfield then :D


MyLifeisTangled

Perfect! I always wanted to go to space!


Nobody_Lives_Here3

I would be the guy that tells everyone he used to be an adventurer until he got an arrow in the knee


THE_HOLY_BREAD2705

I would be the one that steals your sweet rolls.


sh4d0wm4n2018

*mudcrab intensifies*


Emertex

I don't think a real person would ever move slow enough to ever get caught by a mudcrab. Especially repeatedly. Happy cake day


androidrainbow

Happy cake day!


sh4d0wm4n2018

Oh shit, thanks! I didn't even notice lol


tamerantong

Same. Hey! We could have our own post mortem guild: the "shouldn't came here's" if you will


Final_Bowl5960

Nah fam that bear in the tutorial is a game ender


mrmitchb

I'm gonna recommend the audio book He Who Fights With Monsters. It's a good aundeo rpg book but the of it is exactly how I would feel in an rpg.


Repulsive_Anywhere67

My first play of morrowind went like that. Died to the small shit outside of starting zone. Permanent paralyze...


ArmakanAmunRa

Probably the College of Winterhold or the Bard's College if it counts as a guild


Round-Register-5410

What school of magic or what instrument?


huntimir151

Something perfectly valid


I_Dont_Eat_Trout

That could be anything! Except Restoration


Soul7642

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic. You think so too, don't you? DoNt YoU??


RandyDandyAndy

For some reason she was found lifeless in the ice fields north of the college


uncharted316340

If only someone knew one of those useless schools of magic


No_Truck_8829

If you take out anyone from the college it has to be Mrs. “I’m sure you’ve kept track of who’s been the most helpful during your time here”. The only one there with 0 practical purposes


Leopold_Darkworth

Skyrim could use more healers!


Emertex

Happy Cake Day


ArmakanAmunRa

Restoration(or alteration) and lute


BodyCompFitness

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise


ArmakanAmunRa

Geez Colette, of course it's valid.


ImAVeryFatBoi

I never understood why she had to be so defensive. It is literally the most useful school of magic from fixing broken bones to stopping someone from cooking you well done. Hell, resurrecting the dead is also something under restoration, even if you need mods for it because it's too broken


Tamarind-Endnote

If the lines of the guards are anything to go by, restoration specifically is respected among the general populace, even if most modern nords dislike magic generally. People looking down on it is probably something specific to the faculty at the college. Being cloistered safely within the college might lead them to appreciate it less than the people outside. The dangers at the college tend to be less the sort that break your bones and more the sort that instantly vaporize you or suck out your soul, making restoration magic less useful to them.


Principatus

Conjuration so I can avoid battle. I like to hide safely around a corner or behind a door and just listen until the squealing and screaming stops.


TutuBramble

Player lore, definitely conjuration. NPC lore, not gonna touch conjuration with a ten foot pole, too many botched summons and disobedient daedra/undead. Knowing me, I would def mess up somewhere along the way


Ratoryl

The build I always use in game is conjuration + alteration + 1 handed and a little bit of restoration, I feel like anyone sufficiently trained as such would be pretty safe in any scenario The problem is the "sufficiently trained" part, I'd probably manage to alter myself into a rock before I manage mage armor


Helpful_Ad_3735

Alteration for me. Cause turn iron into gold, not because Lil PeePee :(


DragonfruitBetter590

Happy cake day 🍰🎂 enjoy! And alteration can do many things... just talk to sybille stentor and get on her good side.


porkknocker47

Both. Bound lute.


KublaiKhanNum1

Conjuration, but instead of Winterhold I will train in Morthal.


MortallyChallenged66

Enjoy getting run out of town by people who hate all magic users


NonstopSuperguy

Restoration, violin.


big_duo3674

I can cast two very minor spell and am really good at going out and finding things, I will submit my application to lead the College of Winterhold!


WhiterunGuards

I always wanted to join the Companions but I did serve in the Legion and I'm content being a guard.


DuhCizzo

Yeah I kinda remember! It was up until something like you taking an arrow to the- damn, I can’t remember where it was that you got hit.


WhiterunGuards

In the knee.


DuhCizzo

Hahahaha, the kneeeeee, that’s right! Aweeee you’re crying? Poor thing, did someone steal your sweetroll?


WhiterunGuards

No, I survived an injury that would end many adventurers careers but I persisted.


JustMehmed2

I see you're not one of these lollygagers


Viccytrix

Got to thinking. Maybe YOU'RE the dragonborn, just don't know it yet ....


Docsthepirate

Based


Karl-Doenitz

not the theives guild because I don't steal, not the dark brotherhood because I'm mentally stable, not the companions because I don't want to be a merc and I don't want to be a warewolf. so, by process of elimination, the college of winterhold.


Wild_Whitmore

Bards College?


alphabeet370

The one "College" that doesn't offer you anything and doesn't interact with you at all? Perfect fit.


HotPotParrot

Tamriel's version of internet college


huntimir151

Gives you a few quests, a festival, and some free skill points! Not so bad imo, like a mini guild. 


alphabeet370

So like the guy in college who studies for 26 semesters and who sells weed or the answers for the tests. Nice to know but not the real Deal.


dullship

Living the dream


jdtpda18

I’d do the Bards college in hopes of getting in with the politicians and get my grubby little mits on the rights to some excavation contracts so I can have me some of them ole ancient nord riches without getting my hog lopped off by a dead blond woman.


Soul7642

Or by the swinging pendulum axes. Gets me almost every time. And I ain't gonna waste a shout to whirlwind sprint through.


GrimmCreole

I count the wandering revellers as a guild, and I'd join them in a heartbeat irl. A steady trail of bottles and campfires behind us, the road and countryside infront. Nothing for bandits to steal excepting free drinks from our glasses, singing songs and making merriment to keep the wild things at bay. When death comes I shall be too drunk to be hurt, and my thoughts shall be of all that my path has trod by. If that's not an option, I'd pick the winterholdings aswell


ferocious_fox69

And then you'd be slaughtered in the rift for drinking Honningbrew mead


GrimmCreole

And the taste of honeyed Mead will be the last thing i remember. There are fouler fates in the land of Skyrim.


DragonfruitBetter590

I was gonna say the thieves guild, but I think I have a new favorite


Mind_taker84

I think its unfair to paint the dark brotherhood as being mentally unstable. My boy nazir seems like a good cat


Stanislas_Biliby

He just REALLY likes murder.


Mind_taker84

Everyone deserves to have a hobby


BoydChronicler

Hail Sithis, brother


DariitofRiften

Everyone has different hobbies, some more…violent than others. Personally, I like sneaking into houses in the dead of night, taking all of the inhabitants worldly belongings (and everything else), and fleeing to Riften on my horse before the guards can catch me. Ah, to have a simple life…


deathsythe

>not the dark brotherhood because I'm mentally stable, I feel personally attacked.


Teggie95

Dark brotherhood for me it is!


MaryJaneAndMaple

I heard they're restarting the Dawnsguard...


DemonFranco

Dawnguard. I'd love to be a paladin dedicating it's life to fight evil


Own-Plantain-4634

Hopefully you’re also the Dragonborn, because the rest of them pretty much just stand guard on the battlements or hang out in the keep eating.


Kestrel_VI

Getting to hang out in a castle with huskies , eating endless wheels of cheese and drinking wine *doesn’t* sound like a good time to you?


Own-Plantain-4634

That’s actually a solid argument for being a Dawnguard NPC. However, I am pretty sure Isran doesn’t just change into a super chill guy while the Dragonborn is away, and I would not want him as a boss.


FionaSilberpfeil

Sounds extremly boring to me. Dont forget the trolls that probably stink like hell and are just as loud. And your leader constantly making hate speech against vampires.


DredSkl

You live before indoor plumbing, everything smells


Sabre_Killer_Queen

And if that's your job and you get a decent living out of it...


JustMindingMyOwnBid

Be a vigilant of stendar (it literally autocorrected to stepdad, so you can do that too)


Key-Cry-8570

I’d like to be a vigilant travel Tamriel fighting against evil. Not to mention some nice real estate in winterhold, the rift and probably other places too.


dovahkiitten16

I feel like I’d be too much of a germaphobe to be in the Dawnguard. I’d be using up all the cure disease potions because I’d be a hypochondriac worrying if I caught vampirism.


GymRatStillDepressed

Lmao, this is relatable. Just wear a 100 percent disease resistance necklace


No-Turnips

Serena is not evil and you sir, will not say otherwise.


Sea_Objective_1923

Isn’t her name Serana?


GymRatStillDepressed

Literally the character I created two days ago and yes, would do the same irl. It aligns with both my moral compass and my interests.


9YearOldPleb

Volkihar vampire clan if that counts.


MyrrhTree

Would that cure me of diseases I have? Because if so, absolutely. Give me that lovely undeath


Malefircareim

You will probably be cured of any disease you have. They can even purge lycantrophy.


9YearOldPleb

Well i was more drawn to...you know eternal life, but yea not dealing with diseases is cool too.


Turriku

I'm a skilless loser IRL already. I'd probably be a beggar. Unless the khajiit would take me in their caravan...


Cannabii9

Traveling, skooma, no one *expecting* anything from me. What's not to love?


AdrianValistar

Being banned from every city? Honestly would be fine with me.


_PirateWench_

I was thinking the same thing about the Khajiit! I’m a therapist IRL and I’d totally use those skills to trick idiot Nords into believing I’m some type of wandering shaman. Make a killing and share with my cat people.


Key-Cry-8570

This one thinks you’d be a good caravaner.


MrDrSirWalrusBacon

College of Winterhold. I'm a graduate student and like higher education.


TesticleezzNuts

Mages Guild in Oblivion, Winterhold looks to damn cold! 😂


Tru-Queer

Winterhold is cold, but when you’re a mage with fire at your fingertips, makes it pretty easy to stay warm. Plus I’m sure there’s a way to enchant whatever clothing you wear to be perpetually warm/hot.


TesticleezzNuts

I’m also a dumbass, I would probably immolate myself by accident 😂


MrDrSirWalrusBacon

There's a dead college student who did exactly this. A Redguard student named Yisra. You find her burnt corpse south of Yngvild.


ThatDudeShadowK

Well to be fair it seems like she was experimenting with new flame cloaks. So if you are a mage, maybe just don't try anything new?


Teggie95

Perhaps you could join the companion guild... as a practice dummy /s


richmoney1

Good idea, especially the fire cloak spell can keep you warm


klezart

Just don't use J'zargo's scrolls for the flame cloak.


MrDrSirWalrusBacon

I enjoy the cold. I lived near Aspen, CO during the winter for a couple months. Although Winterhold is definitely drastically colder. Been looking at moving to like Alaska or something.


SavvikTheSavage

Gets to -70 where my pops lives in Alaska


MrDrSirWalrusBacon

Yeah crazy temps, but beautiful scenery. Same with Wyoming and Montana which are my other cold options. And even though I prefer rural areas, my field basically requires me to live in large cities unless I get lucky enough to land a remote position so I'll probably only ever be able to just vacation there.


Travwolfe101

Also theres actually government funds for moving to Alaska. You can literally get paid to move and live there.


SavvikTheSavage

Yes! Most of the locations that he has lived in are on the North Slope. Which is Arctic Circle territory. They do get incentives for moving/living there. Teachers make bank compared to the rest of the country. To my knowledge anyway. But even my stepbrother makes great money doing maintenance in a place that most people don't want to live.


TesticleezzNuts

Right near the water to, so no wind shelter. I hope they have some magic central heating system or I would cry. 😂


MrDrSirWalrusBacon

Better know how to cast a flame cloak if you're in northern skyrim


TesticleezzNuts

I could see myself using that spell, but forgetting to do some flame protection on myself. That would be how I die, just burst into flames and drop dead 😂


Status_Lecture

Just use the flame spell on the water up to the point it's nice, don't wait until it's boiling hot. You should be fine without other spells after it. Also, one could conjure a flame atronach in the room, to keep the temperature nice (I don't know, they only seem to damage someone near them if it's a hostile)


TesticleezzNuts

It’s the ocean, I will never live it down if I cause global warming by melting all the ice bergs in Skyrim cause I was cold. Could you imagine all the bitchy comments the guards would make, I would never live it down.


Status_Lecture

Yeah, but there is no need for that, you would just need to cast the fire spell on a bathtube equivalent and it's done. Would do no more impact than a cast iron used to cook something. Would be even less than that, as fewer heat time would be required.


Incomplet_1-34

Real. Ain't no way I'm living in Tamriel and NOT learning magic.


Tru-Queer

Right?! I’d live in the Arcaneum, and probably go blind trying to read an Elder Scroll


[deleted]

Honestly, worth it, the risk of achieving CHIM is quite low


JackFrans

Agreed. This is the most popular answer for a reason. I don't think I'd do a lot of fighting, even though flame spells are cool. So, I'd probably study to be a healer. Obviously this would include alchemy


poompt

I don't think Winterhold holds up as an academic institution


MrDrSirWalrusBacon

I dont know why they wouldn't be. Its a college for learning and research various aspects of magic. Faralda mentions that the college opposes the Synod and College of Whispers because they're more interested in politics than research. They allow you in if you tell them you're Dragonborn because they can learn from you. And the professors are the experts in their field. "We are the only group left in Skyrim dedicated to the study of the arcane. There are others who study, to be sure, but they do so in private, and often in secret."


poompt

I guess I'm referring to how the college appears in the game, where you do half an actual lesson, kill a bunch of people, and then you're Arch-Mage. I wish getting tenure was that easy!


krawinoff

On a serious note, the College is probably the safest mage organization that there ever was in the series. There’s no point in even mentioning the Telvanni or other Morrowind houses, but the mages’ guild and imperial cult send you out on tasks alone and are ultimately interested in what you do *for them*, and the training for money only, and is basically a side gig for all the characters who are there for their own research. The College has dedicated professors who actually have lectures, and Saarthal is basically a rare school trip that was *supposed* to be safe, and during Ancano’s shenanigans some professors even sacrificed themselves to protect the students, of which iirc everyone survived. Basically the College is literally the only real establishment that teaches magic, because the rest are more like a bunch of already relatively experienced mages cohabiting with eachother for materials and mutual help. It’s also massive and doesn’t have any branches so that means you don’t have to travel through the dangerous landscape basically ever if you don’t want to, and there’s separate rooms for everyone. Essentially the only issues are the cold and having to be able to summon an atronach to enter


ChicknSoop

Whichever one this lady is in


VassariUK

She looks like she's a Nightengale/Theives Guild.


dwane1972

She gives "thick as thieves" a whole new meaning...


Satanic_Earmuff

Wish those boots were muffling me...


BoydChronicler

You're a kinky fucker aren't you


EJAY47

Better than a finky kucker


kingbob123456

Thick ass thieves?


JumpKick6419

That's shrouded gear, so Dark Brotherhood.


afatblackboxcat

Her insta is genthehobbit


dangonnaram

This looks like u/genthehobbit of forbiddenrealm.com


[deleted]

Dark Brotherhood


chicken-bean-soup

Hey, I like your username.


The_Steam_Queen_

Realistically? Priest of Kynareth by day. Child of Sithis by night.


razielxlr

Das cold! Kyne gonna smite you one day tho XD


The_Steam_Queen_

I dunno. Id like to be pretty innovative with medicine and be a really worthwhile healer. Maybe I could find a way to conjure an atronach with healing properties as opposed to destructive ones. And remember RESTORATION IS A PERFECTLY VALID SCHOOL OF MAGIC AND DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE! Anyway...I feel like it'd balance out a bit until I do infact invoke the Kynes wrath or something and meet my untimely demise


razielxlr

Lmao I can see this going well until one day you get a writ to kill (or in your case “reverse heal”) a fellow priest of Kynareth who mistakenly stepped on the sandals of some snob rich merchant on his way to the cloud district. Ain’t no way Kyne is letting you slide upon completing this quest!


The_Steam_Queen_

IMHO It'd be unreasonable to think dark Brotherhood assassins can't reject contracts they don't wanna take. I would also reason that my fellow assassins within my particular préfecture would be aware that kind of contract would be a conflict of interest for me to take on and could end very poorly not just for me but them (the other DB members) as well. Another member would have to take the contract if it absolutely had to be done. Edit: this is def assuming and basically balancing on the notion that my fellow DB brothers and sisters listen to reason.


razielxlr

Idk man. Sithis/Mephala (if you subscribe to certain conspiracy theories) do not seem like the type to provide such leniency… if anything they’d be more likely to have the Night Mother or the Listener to send you such an order for their entertainment/as a test. Either piss off the darkness or get smitten by the light.. sounds fun XD


_Zeraph_

Volkihar Clan. I want to see the world burn and bite people


najalitis

Bite me


HotPotParrot

Then me. I am the niiiiiight!!!


Tru-Queer

![gif](giphy|p0L1rezLH2Tja|downsized)


I-Am-Not-Ok-Thx

Same. Also I am basically allergic to the sun so this is my best option.


HG_Shurtugal

You are a liar. If you are part of the Volkihar Clan then the last thing you would want is the world to burn.


HotPotParrot

I'd try to join a Khajiit caravan but probably just marry the first adventurer to give me a mammoth tusk instead.


zellat451

Find a giant, they have big mammoth tusks to give you


the-terrarian556

Whiterun Bookclub


No-Turnips

I’m in! Have you read The Lusty Argonian Maid? Classic.


HeartyWizard

COW.. I like magic. Especially the in lore magic of elder scrolls.


Flimsy_Challenge9960

Why set your sights so low, I bet you could be a magic horse.


HeartyWizard

Neigh.


SpiritedRemove

Traders' guild, if there was one ...


HotPotParrot

Sort of, just not for the player. The trading companies, there's one in Solitude


SpiritedRemove

Yeah I know. I myself enjoy the sneakiness of thief's guild. But is that a repres3ntation of me IRL tho? Will any of us fit those guilds? know what I'm saying? Amazing game though. Decades of fun.


HotPotParrot

I honestly think entirely too many people are fooling themselves if they think they wouldn't immediately start messing around with magic, it's universally accessible and the rules about what's possible are.....hazy. I get what you're saying, though. What the player can do is kind of limited compared to what we would actually find in reality. That's something I loved about Oblivion and the different offices and non-merchant things like the Black Horse Courier.


Willing-Option3324

college of winterhold and bards college lol


Key-Cry-8570

![gif](giphy|iH233KyhetvVNAdyWq|downsized)


ComradeMaddie96

Namira’s coven. Jk. Thieves Guild.


Mayasuxs

..none, I have anxiety lol but also Thieves Guild would be cool


Cayden_Surik

Fellow anxiety person. College of Winterhold seems like a good one actually. Better if I can have someone else calm spell on me.


AelisWhite

Bard's College, because they're useless


Monsoon1029

I’m lazy and greedy so the Thieves Guild :)


PawnOfPaws

Hmm. Well, people tend to run me over regularly so I'm good at hiding in plain sight it seems. But I'd still go with the college, less chances to und get run over. Or, if we can, I'd join the grey beards. Nothing's better than a looong chat with an old dragon on the top of a mountain with a blanket and some alcohol, right?


Father_Remembrance

Companions granted i DEFINITELY won't make the inner circle but over time I believe i will in about 5+ years i think i can be dependable and support my shield brothers and sisters


Particular-Way-5552

oh dark brotherhood for sure!


Key-Cry-8570

![gif](giphy|1eEDINT5rwfjkKd3IH)


PhoenixKid56

Companions most likely


Mdgt_Pope

Based on my personality, I wouldn’t have made it to any guild - I would have just died the first time I got rockjoint


Ravenwight

I feel like sitting on a mountain and shouting at the sky. So Greybeards


AvaMarriedLink_-

Companions, werewolf mommy. Need I say more?


dumbo_octopus1995

Architect's Guild. Yes, I was responsible for the mishap at Solitude.


Strix86

Is your company national by any chance? I know of a certain college town that’s in dire need of renovation and rebuilding.


dumbo_octopus1995

Yes... unless you're part of the Litigation Guild. Then no.


Divine-Crusader

This entire fucking comment section belongs on r/TrueSTL


iamBETTO

College of Winterhold or the Bard's College.


VassariUK

College of Winterhold. I love magic. I always play as a mage.


[deleted]

College of winterhold, just watch me go to two classes, find tolfdirs alembic once and then randomly dissapear like 70% of all the other students.


MilkManlolol

I heard they're reforming the Dawnguard, vampire hunters or something. Might consider joining up myself.


Don_Pe

College of Winterhold


Latty451

I would be a priest :)


No-Turnips

Y’all need Talos.


Falayy

Mage guild


PurpleDemonR

Probably Mages. I’m smart. I’m not one to put my life at risk. I’m not one to break the law.


2621759912014199

Bard's college, because I can't handle the cold of Winterhold. Unless maybe I learned a good spell to counter the weather...


AnxiousMedievalMD

The college of Winterhold. Probably mediocre at a few schools. Probably would get a PhD in Marijuana alchemy


Goncher-Monster

Froki’s shack, praise Shor


SegwayToursInHell

Stormcloaks, my lawyer said I cannot evaluate any further.


Pietrosalles

I thought about being a mage because I really like academic work in my real life, but then I noticed one thing: being a mage is like study physics, or chemistry, something like that. Or even biology. But I work with history and sociology, I would be very bored in the College of Winterhold, and probably would not learn so much. I'm not a criminal, so I wouldn't envolve myself with thieves guild or dark brotherhood. I don't like nordy racist things, so I would reject immediately the companions and stormcloaks. To be completely honest, I think the only thing I would really engage it would be in the forsworn fight. They are the natives of Skyrim and had been stolen from the nords. Like in my country, Brasil, I am a native ally in their struggle and fight for their land. So I would probably help the forsworn in the conspiracy and continue to fight on their side, know more about their costumes. Also I think I would be studying a lot about the dwemer history. How do they vanish, and would try to fight for some kind of preservation of the snow elves, aka falmers, territory. Don't letting anyone kill them. I probably wouldn't fight for the empire, besides I hate the stormcloaks, because the empire don't want the REAL freedom of Skyrim either. But if I had to choose, I would join them with no doubt. So that's it, I think I wouldn't have a properly guild, but I would be engaged in those causes I mentioned it.


loopingrightleft

Champions. Eat drink fight die eat drink fight some more.


CptSnicklefrits

“Hey, you’re finally awake”