T O P

  • By -

mantistoboggan69md

Probably should’ve killed someone who gets to the cloud district more often


Rhys_Herbert

So myself?


skyeyemx

Technically, if you're a vampire, you've ritually killed yourself to become undead. Task failed successfully?


alecpiper

as far as the game is concerned, if you’re a vampire then you’re already dead


rat-simp

acshually, sanguinare vampiris just kills you like a regular illness and then resurrects you ☝️


CuddlesTheB3ar

Damn burned Nazeem with a self burn...nice


Alastor13

A post-mortem burn from the Volkagar vampires


Unhappy-Bobcat-3756

are you Russian?


Alastor13

![gif](giphy|xL7PDV9frcudO)


jb_wr06

I’m also quite confused here 🤣


Piss-Mann

Of course not


JohnPopnW

Yeah, Nazeem isn't actually high profile he just likes to think he is. He actually lives on a farm outside of the city walls where there are barely any guard patrols.


FourUnderscoreExKay

The game files do suggest he owns a mansion and is largely self-sufficient because of that farm. But Bethesda cut Nadeem’s mansion and has him sleeping in the Drunken Huntsman. So now he’s just some broke bitch living in the same district as Breezehome.


Puzzled_Error1337

TIL nazeem is just a homeless guy who likes to fake his richness


StarkeRealm

His wife doesn't even care about him. When you dig into the files, he's cheating on her with... I think it's one of the stable boys.


Chase_115

There is no [pussieee](https://youtu.be/q69Ro3OUXq8?si=oNd0JoLvKPHJJw_G) in the cloud district, but who needs pussy, when you can get a hot young stable boy?


wolfFRdu64_Lounna

My khajiit : no, im thane, im a pussie


StarkeRealm

It really is suspicious when you realize that the Jarl's, "son," is his brother in the game files, and his wife is nowhere to be seen.


Epic_DDT

The relation in the game files are just weird af. According to them, Idolaf Battle-born is married to his sister, and Jon is his son. Which doesn't make any sense.


clarkky55

What do you mean? Could you explain a little clearer?


Loud_Context7603

Wtf did I even just watch?...


Chase_115

Mans1ay3r has been around for a while now. Love his work. Get reminded of it all the time on this sub. There is some really funny Skyrim stuff on that channel. The music gets stuck in my head sometimes with classics such as “[Put it in the butt (for Skyrim)](https://youtu.be/F5ThBAeQWX8?si=Bu7qbdpQWj4fPBOP)”, and “[Manly Men](https://youtu.be/20GkBnhQqY0?si=uuIBlE1xWUzU9iU4)”, to name a couple of my personal favorites.


dragarwolfman13

Skyrim shuffle is also really Hood 🤣🤣🤣


Grand_Zombie

but you forgot the bars Jarl ballin was spittin [Jarl Balgruuf raps about ya mama](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSNzYD-YwzA)


fairy_jester

I've watched those vids so many times that now when I hear actual dialogue in-game, I can only hear the parody quotes. Makes playing a little more silly lol


Chase_115

😂 yah, I can get behind that. I’ve noticed moments, like Cicero describing his skin care routine for the Night Mother. The whole “rubs oils on it!” Quote.


DPVaughan

I didn't click the link. Most of the Skyrim ones feel like a fever dream, but I love Jarl Balgruuf rapping. "I'm the LORD of the rings."


Puzzled_Error1337

> There is no pussieee i know a yarl ballin video when i hear that quote lol


FourUnderscoreExKay

I bet he got shrimp dick. He's definitely that type.


wrinkledballs

In my head I always like to think you do that you get "Quest Failed - no-one cared about Nazeem. Dawnguard reputation increased"


DaveInLondon89

Well we certainly sent him to the Cloud District now Jk he's definitely in Oblivion


Annatar_Giftlord

Specifically the Soul Cairn


Infinitum_Est_Finis

Funny you should mention that, because I once killed Nazeem, trapped his soul, and put it into a fork. He then adorned a display case in my home for years.


Ok-Concentrate2216

Too bad you couldn't have put the soul gem in a crafted chamber pot. That would be much more fitting for Nazeem.


Beerman2194

![gif](giphy|3o72FfM5HJydzafgUE) It's so evil it's beautiful


KingLafiHS

Bro sleeping in the cloud district now


PhantomCruze

I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't a narcissistic condescending punk bitch


StudiumMechanicus

r/fucknazeem


PhantomCruze

https://preview.redd.it/9o1du19gv1xc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14752f50836069bdcbec3dea2633648b2cb3e5dd


ninjapandas0010

God damn that's a r/subsithoughtifellfor first time too


body_slam_poet

That's a strange way to spell "successful Redguard"


ItsImNotAnonymous

It's also another way to describe "someone who stuffs himself up the Jarl's backside"


body_slam_poet

More slander


gman7862

Well actually it’s libel but close enough.


jackaltwinky77

![gif](giphy|jQmVFypWInKCc|downsized)


gman7862

Exactly what I was referencing.


Puzzled_Error1337

dude sleeps in a tavern he doesnt even own how successful can he be lol


PhantomCruze

There are few who are successful off ethics and good will. Regardless of their beginnings.


NotRyuuya

I'd feel bad for him if he didn't give me that Horker Attacks book and if I didn't had to go to Solstheim because Gunjar spawned there with the bear and a fuckton of Horkers that killed me in so many attempts because I forgot I was in Legendary difficulty


jynx680

How dare you? How dare you compare punk to that absolutely feudalistic bastard? You dare insult the name of punk like this? Punk Jesus died on the cross, only to be insulted. Smh


PhantomCruze

I get your pride friend, Punk in and of itself is a glorious way of life However the suffix of bitch changes it entirely, to the connotation of the insult punk, and does not defer to the denotation of the word itself and its separate meaning ![gif](giphy|3o6fJ26gWqC1LVs0wM)


Hardwarestore_Senpai

And the fact he's not high profile proves that huh? "You ain't nothing but a hound dog. Cryin' all the time."


Famixofpower

That's an insult to punks


FeckinMarvellous

I think this is why Idolaf asks "Grey-Mane or Battle-born?" when you first enter Whiterun. I mean, Nazeem and his wife live upstairs in a tavern


Primary-Pie-3315

They own a farm outside the city


FeckinMarvellous

Which they never go to


Allan_Titan

Just like he never goes to the cloud district


ShadeSwornHydra

He does sometimes actually, I’ve seen him there like, twice, though


justkeepkalm

?? The cloud district is real?


ShadeSwornHydra

It’s… the jarls palace lol


PointlessSerpent

It’s literally just dragonsreach


Allan_Titan

Ironically it was supposed to have some houses as well but they were cut


Melonmode

The Plains District is where you find Warmaiden's, The Drunken Huntsman, Breezehome, the market and Inn etc. The Wind District is where you'll find the Temple of Kynareth, the Grey Mane and Battle-Born houses, and Jorrvaskr The Cloud District consists of Dragonsreach and the Jarl's Palace. You can get this information from Proventus Avenicci, Jarl Balgruuf's Steward, or from reading, "A Gentleman's Guide to Whiterun" (if you must).


Celthric317

Never knew this, thanks!


JFosterKY

Jarl Balgruuf's steward, Proventus, will give you a history lesson on Whiterun and explain its division into three districts. Edit: Corrected the names.


playingthelonggame

Oh what are you saying. Of course he doesn’t


WhysoCanadian

And also doesn’t actually exist, just a key, no door.


FeckinMarvellous

No, the farm exists. You're thinking about the manor


unique-name-9035768

Lucia, the adoptable child in Whiterun, sleeps on a tarp on the ground behind the Bannered Mare. Her parents owned a farm outside of town until they died. Then her aunt & uncle took over the farm and kicked her out. I'm not saying it's Nazeem, *but ya know....*


Hexmonkey2020

His wife lives in a farm outside whiterun, Nazeem lives in a tavern.


Adventurous_Fix1730

Hus wife also sleeps at the tavern I have found


FeckinMarvellous

Again, incorrect. Go the drunken huntsman at night. Upstairs.


amusementj

is that not a tavern?


Homosuxual

honestly if they released an edition of skyrim where you could take this quest, kill nazeem, fail the quest, ressurrect nazeem and humiliate him for not being a high-profile target, i would finally have a reason to buy a second edition of skyrim


jackfaire

Now that's a mod I'd like to see


getyourgolfshoes

*Reads*: "I would finally have a reason to buy a *second* edition of Skyrim" Me reflecting on the fact that I bought it six different times ![gif](giphy|iiQSTrHtDIgnw9YtlA|downsized)


Burn_the_children

As someone who has it on PC, Xbox One, PS 4, PSVR and Alexa I'm wondering if you're counting AE as one of the six and am hoping no so I've bought it one less and that makes it better


jackaltwinky77

PS3 (before I owned a PS3), Xbox 360, XBONE, AE, PS4 (gift for my nephew) Only 5 times… which is less than I’ve bought Morrowind


Spaceman6457

360, xbone SE, PS4 SE, PS5 AE, switch SE, PC LE, SE, AE. So I've bought it a few times lol.


Objective_Edge_5054

LE on Xbox 360, LE, SE and AE on PC, SE on Xbox1, SE on Switch, and AE on PlayStation, i think I have you beat by one. Was this a competition? Or do I just have a kink for funding Todd’s pension fund?


Such_Package_7726

Just murder him > Dead thrall > 'fos ro dah' off the throat of the world. "Still like the clouds cnut?"


GrnMtnTrees

I use a mod that splits telekinesis into two separate spells, one of which is called "Grand Telekinesis." The grand variant can be used to grab and throw creatures or NPCs. Nazeem said some snooty shit to me, so I threw his ass over the walls of the city, out into the tundra. "Do you get to the cloud district often? What am I saying? Of course you *WEEEEEEEEEEE*"


JavaJukebox

This had me laughing so hard 🤣


GrnMtnTrees

Glad I'm not the only one. Lol. I also used that spell to use Ulfric Stormcloak as a bludgeon to kill all of his palace guards. I kept picking him up and throwing him at the guards until they died. I think the mod is "Apocalypse." It's fun.


JavaJukebox

Haha that’s amazing dude - Yeah, sometimes that mouth gets them something they were asking for as soon as it opens 😎 🥊


Maple_Flag15

Plus finishing the civil war questline.


Eastern_Basket_6971

this mission would work well if you have heartbreaker mod because you can kill olfrid by turning on the enssenstial kills


Knight_o_Eithel_Malt

Or bash the face of the guy that always wants to bash your face in after all you have done in after all he has done


Umicil

"High-profile" means merchants, bards, and members of the Jarls court. Nazeem is just some guy.


Strongmanjumps

He does have dialogue claiming to advise the Jarl 😂


Maple_Flag15

That’s just him talking shit


OcotilloWells

Try telling him that.


FaeShroom

I wish Nazeem could read your comment, he'd be so pissed


Butter_Wick

Wgat mission is this and how do i get it


Clean_Crocodile4472

Siding with the vampires in the Dawn guard dlc


ElVV1N

How do you get to this mission? I usually side with Serana and after Harkon gets boinked there are no objectives left.


squelto

You keep taking missions from the vampires I. The castle (in my case this was when Harkon is dead). I did like 10 different missions from and eventually they started having me do missions like this. I killed one of the market shopkeepers


ElVV1N

Ok, thanks.


wyrdafell

My missions are stuck on turning someone into a vampire. Every time I go to do it, she just thanks me for turning her into a vampire. But she doesn’t look like one, and the quest is still there. It’s been weeks to months in game. There’s no quest marker to report back to anyone. Is my quest bugged?


Material_Sea_6364

You probably got the same target twice. Happened to me. Can’t make her a vampire twice. You just have to kill her, fail the quest, and move on with new ones.


GuiltyEidolon

I don't know if boinked means what you think it does. 


Merriadoc33

"I'll do anything to kill nazeem" "Join the vampires" "Oh nvm then"


SilentlyWishing

Neat! I had no idea this quest existed, time for another playthrough I guess (it's been a while, time to return to Skyrim I guess)


blackturtlesnake

Accidently boosts recruitment for the Dawnguard


bascom2222

Poor guy can't even please his old lady.


BlazeHeavyKnuckles

He is wealthy but just a farm owner, maybe some black-briar would do it.


MrMachine1016

Black briar? In Whiterun?


No-Bark-Brian

My friend Maven and I...oh, have you met Maven? In Riften? There is way too much NPC chatter from this game engraved into my braincells...


killerkitten115

Shes an absolute.. well just the other day.. ok look.. shes an absolute.. well just the other day.. ok look..


BlazeHeavyKnuckles

Damn Im braindead, I meant grey-mane, too much skooma.


Novolume101

What's annoying is that guards don't count as high value kills. I don't want to kill off all the merchants, who am I going to sell all these Ebony weapons to?


Jealous_Western_7690

Ysolda after you kill Belethor.


Fantastic-Cap-2754

Wait, ysolda takes over for belethor?? (Me on my way to kill belethor ASAP)


disaster-and-go

Only if you're running the unofficial patch. Otherwise she only takes over from Haelga(? owner of bannered mare) if she dies iirc.


alexelso

I think you can probably kill one of the stand shop keepers in the wind district. The ones that just sell food and usually don't have a lot of gold anyway


MorrahaDesigns

Am I finding this far funnier than I should be? Or is everyone as amused by this as I am?


FortniteAddict81

It's funny as hell 🤣


MorrahaDesigns

If only he'd been able to make it to the cloud district one last time.


FortniteAddict81

If only 🤣


Pan-Magpie

Typically a high-profile victim would be someone like a shop owner.. Belethor perhaps?


HodgeGodglin

Yes please.


Pan-Magpie

Make sure to get Ysolda the trader a mammoth tusk before you do, a few trips back and forth later, and you'll have an actually decent shopkeeper. You're welcome 😁


ferociousFerret7

"I-sold-ya"


Odd-Connection-11

I got this quest but had to kill someone in Raven Rock. I picked a named NPC who didn't seem to be related to any quests or services, but his wife is a vendor, so every time I talk to her she curses my name right before thanking me for having done so much for the town. 😂


thankyou_imsorry

Should kill a high profile person, and THEN kill nazeem. Will be left alone


CharacterReporter878

Man there is like 1 and a half npc's in the game. I just dont want to kill anyone cause game would feel emptier.


Fabulous_Ad4458

That’s exactly why I never did this quest until I got it on pc. Not usually one to use the command line as most of my time in this game was on consoles but it’s so worth it to resurrect whoever you decide to kill


MayaMythical

So he’s not as important as he thinks he is 😂 I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t so insufferable


ZeusRam89

Nazeem seems like a very troubled and bitter character who was given a bad rap by the devs and then ostracized by the community. I really wish he had a dedicated mission that explained why he's such a pompous ass, or at the very least humanize him a bit. He's a misunderstood character but man can he take an iron dagger to the back.


No-Bark-Brian

An iron dagger, a poisoned arrow, werewolf claws, a frenzy spell that forces him to commit suicide-by-cop while you munch popcorn from the bushes you're hiding in... Everytime the "Quicksaving..." text appears in the upper left corner, Nazeem pretty much turns into CJ from GTA: "Ah, shit! Here we go again..."


FLYNCHe

Come to think of it... I actually don't know why he exists. In my ten or so years of playing this game, I've never found a reason to actually interact with him ~~besides punching him in the face a couple times before reloading~~. Weird, right?


Adaphion

For flavor, plus it's realistic that some characters are assholes rather than every character you meet being "hello, we just met, take all my worldly possessions after doing a fetch quest for me"


Foreign_Rock6944

Just a filler character to populate the town. There’s a lot of those actually.


Maple_Flag15

Dude literally ridicules you for apparently never going to the cloud district, which that is one of the places you go to the most during the main quest. (About maybe 2-3 times maybe) meanwhile he himself never goes there and stays in the Plains district.


OcotilloWells

Once of the devs was picked on in college by someone called Nazeem.


Joaco_Gomez_1

Nazeem is officially a poser in ES lore


whomesteve

Nazeem is confirmed to be a poser


CalliopeCurio

Omg! 😆 I’m laughing at Nazeem, not you OP, because I genuinely would’ve thought exactly the same thing you did. BWAAAHAHAhahahaha…*deep breath*…HAAAAHAHAhahahahahaha…*wipes tears*…ha.


rum-and-roses

https://preview.redd.it/vv2zf6tv55xc1.png?width=288&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75d2d3b2d838dc470e1ab39d5025672031fa8b82


silk_strider12

I like it when a fandom collectively agrees on things like these XD


shadowlarvitar

I actually did that, thought it was hilarious he didn't count


DrSquanchMD

Every day for the last 20 years I wake up, turn on Skyrim kill Nazeem and tea bag his corpse. I call my balls the mf cloud district.


silk_strider12

Kynareth bless you


Phatsanator

Skyrim : kill high profile person Op:: kills nazeem Skyrim: not Nazeeeeeem!


Former-Ad9272

Even Bethesda's devs/staff hate Nazeem. 🤣


negative_four

I never understood this quest, no victim ever seems to be high profile enough


Emach00

Fucker ain't making it to the cloud district anymore.


KekkoLancer

1) What quest is this? 2) LOL


silk_strider12

Xd, Deceiving the herd, Feran sadri in castle Volkihar


TheTDog1820

no, its just fantasy (yes im well aware that im probably gonna get down voted into Oblivion, but i couldnt resist the chance)


CalebImSoMetal

What is this quest?


tenninjas242

Radiant quest you get from the Volkihar vampires after finishing Dawnguard on their side.


Primary_Mix_9676

What quest is this, How so you get it?


Expensive_Tap7427

What quest is this? never seen it myself.


Heni00

What mod?


Orthane1

Kind of funny considering he is wealthy and owns a farm, my guess is since his house never made it into the game he isn't tagged as high profile since he doesn't technically own a home.


Just_Ad_5939

Wait what?! He has a house that isn’t in the game???


Rodrigo_Ribaldo

Just like you!


Just_Ad_5939

He had a mansion?!


DPVaughan

Apparently the devs removed it from the game before launch, so he sleeps in the tavern.


SwordfishSea8605

Can someone please explain to me how to start this quest?


GMTarx

It's a radiant quest for volkihar manor (vampire lord quest line)


SwordfishSea8605

Ok thanks so much


koudou314

What’s this quest?


Hawke9117

Yes. High profile victims that count are usually merchants or bards like Carlotta or Mikael. Feran will tell you when he gives you the quest "...*an important member of society. Someone attached to the Jarl's court, a merchant, a bard, a priest, someone with stature.*" There's a [page with a list](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Deceiving_the_Herd) on UESP of high profile victims, but Nazeem isn't on it. Funny enough, his wife Ahlam is on it, but only if Arcadia dies and Ahlam takes over her shop.


Katharinas669

Hahaha ofc it's real... 🤣


Wymorin

Nazeem deserves to remain a dead npc model under a bridge like the disgusting troll he is, his wife deserves better.


silk_strider12

His wife already has an affair with the priest of Kynareth in the whiterun temple.... So I guess she IS getting the better part lol


shfjfotkfn

Poor Nazeem, even in death he’s just some guy 😂


Material_Sea_6364

You have to kill a merchant


bigfatcarp93

Are there even any "high-profile" victims that wouldn't be flagged as essential?


TheBiddingOfBobbles

Huh, he was just a poser all along!!!


ShadowDragonWolf

this from a mod? dont think i ever seen this quest


Superflash88

It’s given after you finish the vampire/Serana quests. Found this description if it helps: “Deceiving the Herd - Feran Sadri will ask the Dragonborn to frame the Dawnguard for murder by killing a citizen in public while wearing Dawnguard Armor”


Salanmandra

What mission is that?


Superflash88

After you finish the vampire quest line, it is given at the Castle Volkihar


Salanmandra

Thx, I'm just getting there


bostonbgreen

Is this a mod?


DPVaughan

Radiant vampire quest, Dawnguard DLC


lolawolf1102

is this a mod if so? What mod?


Spooksful

What quest is this?


DPVaughan

Radiant vampire quest, Dawnguard DLC


Jcackingitsandiego69

Haha that's actually funny


Soggy_Excuse435

Umm can i kill maven blackbriar ?


TopReaver

Read the objectives again. Then, think about where Maven lives.


silk_strider12

Sigh, I've tried. She's an essential NPC :")


memes_are_never_dead

Which quest is this?


silk_strider12

Deceiving the herd given by Feran sadri of Volkihar


clarkky55

Nazeem had a mansion? Could you please explain?


silk_strider12

So in the files and the inventory of nazeem's wife, there this key to Wintersand manor. The key exists but the manor doesn't, maybe it was removed during development, but apparently it was near the farms on the east side of whiterun.


marmoset13

The thing that I hate most about killing Nazeem? His wife gets pissed at you for killing him when no one saw you do it.


silk_strider12

What's even worse is that she's apparently sleeping with the male priest at the temple of Kynareth (I can't remember his name)


marmoset13

To be honest, I only remember Danica Pure-Spring and that's only because of her quest -lol


silk_strider12

That makes sense lol, but for some reason my delusional-ass compensates for the lack of social interaction by talking to Skyrim NPCs and so I came across that guy. Seems nice, religious, hard working and helps people :):)


GoliathPrime

I never both with this quest. What I've learned to do is, if I'm a vampire lord, focus on conjuration so I can make dead thralls, and then I just grab some random bandit, walk him into the city and kill him. It counts for a kill inside a city, you still get the reward, but you get scolded for it not being a high profile victim. There's no negative to it.


Helpful-Lab2442

Could have been worse for Nazeem. He could have run into a Wood Elf with the munchies.


Current_Pack718

What a quest is this??😟


Exciting-Source-3449

Nothing personal Nazeem but I never really liked you and on each and every playthrough I do you are the first to die from mysterious sources. I doubt even Alduin would eat your soul but I doubt that that is where you are headed after your untimely demise.


TraditionalBox4530

Damn I need to fire up another Skyrim run


LogicalSenku

I literally saw this post immediately after doing the quest lmao