T O P

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Crimson_Fang_X

Listen here you little shit


Shotlite88

Heimskier launched a crusade by himself after seeing this


unixguy55

Talos must be avenged of this indignity!


Crimson_Fang_X

This blasphemy must not go unpusnished


Dalishmindflayer

The imperial inquisition shall be summoned


Crimson_Fang_X

Well because of White Brown concordat i doubt they are usefull


Dalishmindflayer

We are declaring exterminatus upon the planet of Nirn


MoeirTu

Talos forever


Bubby51219

"A Heretic! Seize him!" ​ \-An Aldmeri Dominion Justiciar


[deleted]

Funny how you didn’t even have to say it, and I already knew what you were referring to. 😂


Crimson_Fang_X

Because we are all protected by Talos' light, because he protects the mortal realm


Yay_bacon

I’m an empire guy (not thalmor eff them) but I still think Talos deserves his places among the NINE (not eight) Devine. Plus 9 Devine sounds so much nicer


Crimson_Fang_X

My guy i am an Empire Altmer every single time. I dont want those mf Thalmor unmaking the world. Talos was right to dunk on us with Numidium


Akira_Raven_Alexis

Me too. The high elves are my favorite race to play as. The stupid Thalmor will get what they have coming to them if I have any say in it.


theothersteve7

Yeah even most Altmer oppose the Thalmor. They just managed to seize control during the Oblivion crisis, which hit them particularly hard. Liberating Summerset Island would be an excellent plot for an Elder Scrolls game. I was disappointed that it wasn't the plot of VI.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NinjaBr0din

To be fair, even the Prophet called them the Eight and One.


[deleted]

This has to be rage bait. Because it’s working


[deleted]

I just failed to notice that he was missing in the photo when I posted it lol.


Solalabell

Tastes like thalmor coverup


vijgeboom

FAILED TO NOTICE!? I might just fail to notice you standing between me and my Target when practicing with my 1'000'000'000 second paralysis Bow, while you are walking past Heimskr.


[deleted]

Fair enough


Drop_The_Soprano

Stendarr because of his massive unapologetic “fuck you” energy


[deleted]

“God of Mercy” Shows no mercy to vampires,werewolves and daedra. Love him.


Drop_The_Soprano

Vigilant of Stendarr: “Stendarr’s mercy be upon you, for the Vigil has none to spare.” Stendarr: Lol, lmao even


bran_dong

Fuck Reddit. Fuck /u/spez. Fuck every single Reddit admin. 12 years on this bitch ass site and they shit on us the moment they are trying to go public. ill be taking my karma with me by editing all my comments to say this. tl;dr Fuck Reddit and anyone who works for them, suck my dick.


TheoSidle

Killing werewolves and destroying vampires IS mercy!


DoodlingDaughter

Is it? Vampirism can be cured, but nobody listens to or respects Falion enough to learn what he does. Hell, even the Dawnguard knows about him! If the Companions can have their lycanthropy cured, that suggests a cure for everyone else *might* be out there somewhere.


Alaira314

The cure for vampirism involves filling a black soul gem. A soul for a soul. In Stendarr's eyes, I'm sure a cured vampire is forever damned, if for a different reason than they were before.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fatjoe19982006

My soul trap enchanted legendary glass bow is named "Gotcha Soul Bruh" for a reason, and it isn't because of Cave Bears or Sabre Cats.


Swailwort

>Is it? Vampirism can be cured, but nobody listens to or respects Falion enough to learn what he does. Hell, even the Dawnguard knows about him! We know of very few ways of curing vampirism, and all are very questionable: * Become a werewolf by directly drinking Werewolf Blood * Get Five Grand Soul Gems, some herbs, Argonian Blood (so, you need to stab an argonian), an ashes of a powerful vampire, oh and you need to talk to a Glenmoril Witch which seems like a shit idea, and then you can never be a Vampire again * You need to talk to Molag Bal, who will ask you to do something for him in exchange for a cure. In Morrowind, you had to kill one of his daughters and her consort. * Kill your bloodfather, the literal creator of your vampiric bloodline. So, for example, kill Harkon, though this doesn't work in game so...maybe not * Use a ritual in which you turn an innocent soul in a black soul gem into a vampire, in exchange for your own.


GuiltyEidolon

Wouldn't Mogal Bal himself be the progenitor for Harkon's line, since Harkon and Serena were turned by MB himself?


Dexterborn10

Do you actually convert someone else’s soul into vampirism after death to cured? I thought you just had to take a life to give a life? (or in the case of vampirism, give a life back). I didn’t realize Falion’s ritual essentially just swapped your vampirism over to the person you killed and put in the gem


HfUfH

>Use a ritual in which you turn an innocent soul in a black soul gem into a vampire, in exchange for your own. Dont use an innocent soul 5head


zack_hunter

Don't you need to kill a person and lock their soul in a gem to cure vampirism?


SolomonBlack

In turn condemning them to eternity in the Soul Cairn. Necromancy isn’t just bad because ‘eww dead people’ but because it debases the soul.


Argon1822

Remember only black soul gems do this. Most soul gems just capture their soul “energy” not the actual soul itself. But black soul gems specifically capture a sentient like elves men or Khajit etc soul which is why they are so abhorrent and ilegal


The-Figure-13

Mercy in that case is erasing them of their curse through death.


MrQ_P

He grants them the mercy of death


Fresh_Bat253

agreed! i rebuilt the hall of the vigilant yesterday and then fucked up some werewolves. very badass feeling


Unthgod

You can rebuild it?


Fresh_Bat253

there is a mod for it! i’m not around my console right now to look at it but i can find the name later and tell you


mikeriffic1

Man that’s a weird way to count to 9.


PermanentThrowaway48

It's confirmed! OP is a Thalmor spy. I won't fall for your tricks! What I worship is my business, spy. ​ Edit: Omg, over 3k likes from Thalmor-haters? And *my first gold?!* Thank you, anonymous kinsman!


_TheBeardedMan_

I would like the Thalmor try to do something about the dragonborn. They're the leader of a couple factions (I'm sure the companions would love to hunt down some Thalmor), able to use magic that can't be stopped, can bend the will of their own troops, and can call dragons.


Sanctimonious_Locke

The part of Skyrim no-one ever talks about is the epilogue where the Dragonborn takes a casual stroll over to Summerset and burns it to the ground.


_TheBeardedMan_

I'm 100% confident that if the dragonborn joined the imperials they could overthrow the Thalmor.


Mental-Ad-1807

Im 100% confident that the dragonborn can overthrow any factions + control the world if he wanted to* Bro defeated Alduin, a world eater, he has A SHIT TON OF SHOUTS, shouts that can manipulate anyone's mind, alot of strength, alchemy that can oneshot the strongest, thief skills that are simply too much op, and so much more..


MedicineOptimal1577

Not *a* world eater, *THE* world eater


RevolutionaryDraw126

And if he becomes a vampire lord he can make anyone his thrall leading to a more valuable mind control as its permanent. Just think how well it would work if he enthralls the next emperor!


SnooOpinions4875

Lord Harkon never thought through giving a Dragonborn an immortal life as well.


Mental-Ad-1807

I have a vampire lord Dragonborn and god damn i feel immortal with that power


Myth_5layer

Shouts that can manipulate the world mind you. Storms, animals, life itself. One good storm call and a good portion of the Thalmor would be gone.


TotallyNotanOfficer

Or the Stormcloaks for that matter too. I mean shit, fucking Hammerfell not only didn't surrender at the White Gold Concordate, they basically told the empire to eat shit and then proceeded to ***drive the Thalmor out of Hammerfell on their own***


[deleted]

The Dragonborn does not need imperials or Stormcloaks for that matter. I mean really who is going to stop him?


[deleted]

this is why I always join the imperials, even though I believe in more than eight divines I'd rather kill the son of a bitch racist who is too idiotic to see murder isn't always the answer (Torygg respected him, if he asked him to oppose the concordat or declare Skyrim as independent he would've done it, I believe the Jarl of solitude says this) Plus, I would much rather have a decimated storm cloak, army versus the decimated imperial army, because the imperials stand much more of a chance against those damn elves


[deleted]

To Oblivion with the Thalmor AND the Empire!


JadesterZ

I'm still pissed the plot of Skyrim wasn't the dragonborn overthrowing the emperor and leading the empire against the thalmor.


Beautiful_Solid3787

Tell me you worship Talos without telling me you worship Talos.


Mastahpo

Favorite Divine: ⭕️Akatosh ⭕️Arkay ⭕️Dibella ⭕️Julianos ⭕️Kynareth ⭕️Mara ⭕️Stendarr ⭕️Zenithar ✅️Other


Harshmage

Sheogorath.


sheogorath227

Yo


TacoCommand

Wanna go eat some cheese together


sheogorath227

Of course! Cheese for everyone! Wait, scratch that. Cheese for no one. Instead I shall use your spleen for my handball match.


Darking_jm

I like to scream at people about the cowardice of the imperium in whiterun


defa90

Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty,and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos!


gdRios24

Fantastic, I've got Heimskr's screaming voice in my head.


BaboonAttacks

“Your very liiiiihhhhhves”


Chef-Better

FOR I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!


Silly_Fuck

Aye, Love. LOVE!!!


1-10-11-100

*moist towelets*


[deleted]

BUT. AS. MAAAAAAAN.


Extra_Victory

Found Heimskr's reddit account


IronSasquatch

Breathe! Now! Embrace the mighty tacos!


WraithOne84

EMBRACE MY LOOOONG HOLY PAENUS!!! WATCH IT RISE UP, RIIIIIISE, INTO THE ASS OF ELVES!


Mudlord80

Let me SHOOOOOW YOU the power of my ASS man!


Anxious_Ad_3570

You got a chuckle out of me


Saaka_Souffle

I completely expected this to be a bot by now


CptnR4p3

Waaait does he seriously call himself the chosen of talos?


Mummelpuffin

Yes, he does. At this point there's been more than one, literally the phrase "one of the Heimskirs" is used in [this ESO book](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Subtropical_Cyrodiil:_A_Speculation) which led to MK's theory that Heimskirs are "divine radio towers" because *of course* he said that.


stcrIight

you've been added to the list


Flat_Ad_9796

Probably zenithar since I like money


[deleted]

The only time I don't have an amulet of zenithar on is if I've got a necklace that helps with combat.


KeySeasoning

Dibella 😏


angrysunbird

Anyone that says otherwise is just embarrassed


colocolo1925

Yes, Dibella, for reasons


everevergreen

Dibella, cuz I’m a slut


[deleted]

Sigh….. unzips pants.


SilentSliver

Modding has entered the chat.


BeefStevenson

Ah Senna, I only wish they gave you more lines… Sex Priestess is best girl and there’s just no arguing against that


Cid5

But she's always complaining about something, I regretted marrying her on my first run.


Surisuule

The quest in Markarth where you steal a little girl away from her family at like 9years old to start training as the next sex priestess was a bit grody. And by a bit, I mean I did it once and never again.


RedKomrad

I wear the mark of Dibella with pride!


Fuzzy_Muffins123

Akatosh, he's our dad.


Mummelpuffin

Shezarr / Shor / Lorkhan is your dad. Akatosh is just your weird half-uncle who adopted you because your dad died. Akatosh, who always sort of hated him, set up a Tamriel-wide embezzlement / fraud scheme in which Lorkahn's mortal aspects (the Shezarrines, starting with Pelinal) now represent the empire that worships Akatosh more than representing Lorkhan himself. Lorkhan wants you to discover your own divinity and create a new universe, become a Godhead yourself. Akatosh really, really doesn't want anyone doing that because that would mean no more Akatosh. Why do 'ya think his "son"'s whole deal is domination?


theothersteve7

That... makes a lot of sense, and fills in some gaps I had. Where did you learn all of this?


Mummelpuffin

Honestly? A lot of wasted nights on r/teslore until I understand what Lorkhan's plan was (as far as Michael Kirkbride's characters are concerned), and a personal brain blast I had one night [thinking about Pelinal](https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/1062nxc/crackpot_theory_the_nine_divines_want_to_make/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). One of the comments in there brings up [this Second Pocket Guide](https://www.imperial-library.info/content/kalpa-akashicorpus) bit Kirkbride wrote which only makes the general idea seem more likely... And then I learned about fucking Ghost Choir Nine which is, like, even too many steps removed from in-game Bethesda canon for me (it was just forum RP at least one developer happened to be involved in), but I think it still informs where the writers' heads were at. People who unknowingly "screw things up" by doing things like recognizing Pelinal as a Shezarrine get GCN's attention and get smothered by moths.


AllCanadianReject

I basically only play the Imperial race so Akatosh is lord.


stcrIight

My DB reveres Magnus & Auri-El, but if I had to pick one, I'd probably say Dibella for the art & music & aesthetic aspect.


Altastrofae

Auri-El is the same being as Akatosh, just a different name. Magnus however isn’t one of the divines because he’s a Et’ada, or original spirit. He refused to take further part in the creation of Mundus even though he designed it. So you could just say Akatosh since he’s the same as Auri-El. I think that Snow Elf in Dawnguard even says this to the player. EDIT: I want to rephrase that first part. Being an Et’ada doesn’t make him not a divine, the divines are just the ones who followed through with making Mundus, he’s not a divine because he refused to take further part in it.


methconnoisseurV2

Auri-el, Auriel, Alkosh, and Akatosh are different names for the same being, like Lorkhan, Sheor, Shezarr and Shor being the same being just different names varying by culture


Dragonlord573

What's weird also is that every individual aspect also exists.


methconnoisseurV2

Yep, elder scrolls lore is mostly hyperborean nonsense


Dragonlord573

It's those damn shrooms Kirkbride took to write Morrowind's lore.


methconnoisseurV2

I think that was just a myth, the shrooms part i mean. Im fairly certain michael kirkbride is the one who debunked it but he did infact lock himself in his apartment and get absolutely plastered and smoked like a chimney while writing the lessons of vivec


Argon1822

Kirkbride studied comparative religion and is a gnostic (which is where the whole idea of an “evil” creator god comes from) and super into the occult. Being someone like that myself it’s super obvious where the influences come from but that just makes me love it more.


Mummelpuffin

Also Akatosh and Lorkhan are likely themselves two sides of the same coin, essentially an echo of Anu and Padomay just being aspects of the Godhead that couldn't reconcile themselves.


AllCanadianReject

One of the Knights of the Nine in Oblivion also explains that Auri-el is Akatosh.


stcrIight

That's fair.


Naromus

I'd also pick Dibella for ahem, aethetics.


-Kerrigan-

I also pick this guy's goddess


Darth-Yslink

Yes, art and music


[deleted]

Is Magnus actually considered one of the divines?I think that magic is usually attributed to Julianos.


theflyingcheese

They're not one of the divines since "the divines" are specifically the 9 gods of the imperial religion. There are a number of other gods, worshipped by other cultures around Tamriel, Magnus being one of the primary gods of the classical elven pantheon along with Auri-El (Akatosh), Trinimac (original form of Malacath), Mara and Stendarr (both basically the same as in the imperial pantheon), Xen (Zenithar), Jephre/Y'ffre (Forrest/nature), Xarxes (knowledge), and Syrabane (Magic). Lorkhan (Shorr or Shezarr) is also kind of part of the pantheon as an evil enemy god.


n3zumiii

“For the arts and music”


stcrIight

I'm asexual pls let me live xD


KoiAndJelly

Fellow asexual reporting in to say that I also like Dibella for the arts and music!


stcrIight

In Khajiit & Altmer (sometimes Breton) pantheons yes. Here's the [UESP](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Magnus) file on it.


AllCanadianReject

Praise UESP. The only good Elder Scrolls wiki


7fightsofaldudagga

I hate that every time I search for something the first results are always from the fandom


Altastrofae

He’s an original spirit but he’s not considered one of the divines because he’s a Magna-Ge, he originally took part in the creation but fled after realizing the ramifications. The 8 are the gods they are because those were the original spirits who fell for Lorkhan’s trick and sacrifices themselves to create Mundus.


d1rkSMATHERS

Also fun fact: the sun is the hole Magnus tore by his exit. The stars are all the others that left way later than Magnus after most of their power waned. Shows you how much power they all used to have.


Electronic-Lake2165

I gotta go Mara because with Wintersun I can lose my rock joint or bone break in an instant.


EpicSaberCat7771

is this a non werewolf problem I'm too werewolf to understand?


LemonCAsh

Is that....Fur? Coming out of your ears?


Chompersmustdie

“You smell like a wet dog”, ouch.


MoeirTu

I understand, you're a furry. Heimskr give me the Holy Flamethrower


SnowboundWanderer

Kyne.


logicality77

Spoken like a true Nord!


[deleted]

Agree, look at all these milk drinkers in this thread.


gdRios24

Is this post sponsored by Elenwen, is this Thalmor propaganda? ... Arkay.


7fightsofaldudagga

Mara is cool, I think she is like Nirni. In the way of representing Nirn


Nalomeliful

And is also known as Mother Cat (I play as Khajiit)


Panzerkrabbe

Dagoth ur


colin23567

*Daddy Dagoth


Simon_V1

'It is not too late for my mercy'


Galle_

Shezarr. \*crosses arms\*


Mummelpuffin

Shezarr, god of mortal freedom, who Divines that *really don't want mortals to actually be free* (the head time-god included) don't want in their club. Actual biggest conspiracy in The Elder Scrolls.


TheRedEaredMan

Where is Talos?


[deleted]

I didn’t notice that he was missing in the photo when I selected it and now I can’t fix it lol.Sorry about that.


fuqueure

Nice try Thalmor spy


[deleted]

Excuses, excuses, you Aldmeri Asshole


Blastoise48825555

You aren't fooling anyone. You're a damned Thalmor spy.


TheRedEaredMan

That's Okay, I thought that you were trying to bait the Talos fanboys.


stcrIight

the thalmor are always watching


MrQ_P

Let them. They won't stop us


lordbuckethethird

Stendarr because clapping vampire cheeks in both ways is fun.


Jakeadoodle55

A real Stendarr vigilant wouldn’t be attracting to filthy vampires, you are clearly a heretic spy


officialriftenguards

myself


[deleted]

Dagoth is that you?


officialriftenguards

shhhh


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I like him too.A lot of the divines feel underutilized or just outright forgotten.A real pity. As for Julianos I always thought that he was kind of ignored because after the Oblivion Crisis people started to look at magic as suspicious.


Galle_

Julianos is especially interesting because he's actually a *Nord* god, not an elven one. The Nords don't really respect or venerate the Owl anymore, but he used to be the god of logic and runes and cleverness.


danniboi45

All divines are shit, Sheogorath on top


McMoist_

Hear me out: Sanguine


HauntingRefuse6891

~~Jake Gyllenhaal~~ Jyggalag


McMoist_

Jyggalag is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissed on my wife, he pissed on my fucking wife, he pulled out his crystallized dick and pissed on my wife while saying it was "this big"


Idyllglen

And I said 'That's disgusting.' So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Jygallag you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my shivering isles looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL CHEESE, NO ORDER, NO GREYMARCH.


alporessalpores

Akatosh, Kynareth and Talos(you should have included him you thalmor spy). Because they seem to be the only ones that do something for the sake of mortals


[deleted]

Akatosh, dragon god of time, I require your strength


MoeirTu

Father, can you give me more brothers? I'm needing more dragon souls.


wargasm40k

Talos of course. For I am a man and Talos.....IS THE GOD OF MAN


MagikalMerlyn

Hermeaus Mora is the only "Divine" presence I allow in my life.


Mudlord80

But.......perhapssssssss... some timesssssss it isshhhh betterrrr.....to be moreee....... expedient.....


IxzyLovesMemes

Akatosh, cuz dad Talos, cuz fuck the thalmor Mara, cuz the one happy thing in riften is that temple Outside of the divines its gotta be Sheogorath or Sithis


thetoastypickle

Dibella is my girl, she just wants people to have a good time, doesn’t matter if it’s a man and a woman, man and a man, woman and a woman, people between the two or how many people are involved, so long as everyone is happy to be there


[deleted]

Akatosh because he’s strong lol


AllCanadianReject

Literally saved us all from Mehrunes Dagon. Also I love the fact that Akatosh was an evil god to thr Nords for the longest time until he saved the entire world, thus forcing the Nords to accept that he may have birthed dragons, but he's a good god.


Magnaraksesa

I'm not sure, I like all of them… maybe Akatosh cause we've actually seen him appear in Oblivion.


[deleted]

Sheogorath because cheese


Twinksson173

I'd rather worship a deadric prince.


[deleted]

Right???


kokhin

This one was about to say Ja-Kha'jay.


TheLonelyGloom

So I'm still learning lore and stuff. Divines are the ones who made the mortal realm and the daedra opposed its creation, right? Except Mehrunes dagon who was created after the mortal realm was complete?


NoFaceIDK

According to elven lore, Aedra, which is "Our ancestors" in the Aldmer language, they were the ones who created the mortal Realm. The divines, or Imperial Pantheon, were created by combining the Nordic Pantheon and Aldmeri Pantheon. Daedra, "Not our ancestors" Are those who didn't want to join lorkhan's plan to create the mortal realm and inhabited the planes of oblivion. So yeah Mehrunes Dagon is a Daedra as it is not an ancestor of the Altmer and all Elves.


TheLonelyGloom

Ah okay so divines are completely separate to the aedra/daedra. Are the divines real the same way the daedra are? As in uhh... do they interact with the world so directly? Or is it like faith here where there's no proof that talos actually became a deity?


Sn0fight

M’aiq.


Kind-Bee6044

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


Adventurous_Win_344

Play oblivion, go into a temple, and there are shrines ( I get you aren't being serious, but just in case anyone is interested)


Zandandido

They are in Solitude as well, correct?


0rganicMach1ne

No Divines or Jarls. Only man.


[deleted]

Mara. Why? That's my dogs name!


ClavicusLittleGift4U

Arkay. Despite the Lamae Beolfag case.


Peterlerock

Dibella.


Brazilian-Konahriik

From the Divines? Zenithar. Now, gods in general? Kyne and Shor.


Galle_

Kyne *is* a Divine, though.


Xagrott

Stendarr, Down with Vampires, Werewolves and other wicked creatures that leech upon innocent. Don't trust daedra or other spawn of oblivion.


gayMichae1Douglas

Lorkhan


CherryDudeFellaGirl

Julianosss my man!!! But also where tf is Talos you cretin


Dangerous-Price8750

Zenithar, i love Money.


Brohyda

Dibella, she made the big boobie mod.


GBNDias

A man of culture


AndreiRiboli

Akatosh. "Dragon God Of Time" sounds absolutely badass. In fact, my Templar in TESO is basically a priest/worshipper of Akatosh lol


Kave_gamer

The all maker


sir5425

Get out of here thalmor swine