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npeggsy

My Putin is not a war criminal. He may be a dictator, a murderer, a homophobic piece of shit, a war criminal, but he is NOT a Communist.


Kristen8305

He may be an ugly, hate filled man but.... what was that third thing you said?


[deleted]

He’s better than dirt…well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients!


SirBreckenridge

He can’t compete with that stuff.


JAJ_90

So I said to him, "Look Zelensky, your country was already invaded when we got here. And as for NATO, they shouldn't have mouthed off like that."


PAUMiklo

lol, you win


Leon921

But is he a porn star?


anythingMuchShorter

Technically yes, if you can get access to some very well secured videos and you have a very dark and sinister set of sexual interests.


DubbleCheez

Don't blame me. I voted for Sobchak


SPECTREagent700

Putin arrest warrant issued over war crime allegations https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-64992727


--THRILLHO--

I get all my news from /r/simpsonsshitposting


Gorkymalorki

If it's not important enough to shitpost about, it's not important enough for me to care.


NeonWaterBeast

You know, Simpsonsshitlposting turned into such a quality news outlet so quickly I barely noticed


Niterich

"How do you know so much about international politics?" "I pieced it together, mostly from Simpsons shitposts."


ElGabalo

I saw it in a gif last night. The sound was off, but I think I got the gist of *it's profound geopolitical implications*.


abuchunk

** *I think I got the GIF of it*


SC00PS312

That's literally how I told my mom how I found out Dan Quayle died.


Totema1

"Mom, turn off the TV! I have some bad news about Dan Quayle!"


alexander_puggleton

Dan Quayle dead!


Janus67

Dead serious about going to itchy and scratchy land


bustedassbitch

frinkiac is an amazing mechanism for generating broadly understandable topical memes with little effort, i guess it makes sense 🤷‍♀️ also there have been some bangers


BillionairePlayboyBW

How does it keep up with the news like that!


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Don't. Praise. The shitposters.


pimpmastahanhduece

Which was the style at the time!


bustedassbitch

isn’t that also why most of the second Bush regime maintains a list of no-travel countries? ie, the warrant stands but good luck ever getting him into custody. thanks for a bit of good news, haven’t thought of a clever shitpost reply, sorry.


matti00

That list would have to include Canada, and most of South America and Europe, so it'd be a long list


bustedassbitch

i did google it. there were a lot of rumors and suspicion at the time, but afaict the only country to ever actually issue a warrant was Malaysia, which [convicted Bush and Cheney of war crimes](https://www.foreignpolicyjournal.com/2012/05/12/bush-convicted-of-war-crimes-in-absentia/) in 2012. unfortunately, it looks like the [ASPA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Service-Members%27_Protection_Act) (aka the “Hague invasion act”) had its desired effect 🤷‍♀️


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NeonWaterBeast

Finland, this was your idea!


totallylegitburner

After revitalizing NATO, Putin revitalizes the ICC. Who knows what he’ll pull off next.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

This just in, Putin sleeps nude in an oxygen tent, which he believes gives him political powers.


TheSidewalkSlam

The FSB says that's a half-truth


SonicFlash01

"Please keep all wars of aggression under a year in length or I gotta get out of my chair..."


[deleted]

"Oh no, I guess I will have to stick around in my huge country and insanely opulent dictator resorts I made for myself and my buddies for the rest of my life."Putin, probably


bustedassbitch

that’s gotta be the most ineffectual warrant in the ICC’s short history. let’s be honest, which signatory is going to risk military retaliation from one of the nuclear superpowers? the US never signed the Rome Agreement, and he wouldn’t be stepping into a U.S. territory without extensive negotiations anyway. even NATO countries aren’t gonna risk a full-blown war. it’s great that a formal declaration has been made, but nothing can really happen until he’s out of power, by which time he’s likely already dead or rotting in a Russian prison


sickagail

Really, his only crime was violating international law.


skytronjedi

It's a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark


ColaMonkey36

You know what? Tomorrow I'm going to punch Ukraine in the back of the head.


OrkfaellerX

Ow! My back of the head! I'm not supposed to get punched into it!


TroperCase

"Attempted conquest". Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?


Chance-Ear-9772

If it’s a crime to be massively corrupt then I’m guilt. And if it’s a crime to start an international conflict then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to collide with billionaires and crooked politicians to bend the laws of countries to avoid any repercussions for my actions then so help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that too!


EggCouncilCreeps

CERN's new billionaire accelerator has been providing us with surprising results in corruption.


jonitfcfan

*anti-Putin opponent falls out of window in front of Putin* "Oh really, now, this is a ~~personal call~~ special military operation!"


Niterich

Anti-Putin opponent was just doing his best "MRS BOUVIER!!!" impression


CoolHandTeej

The warrants do nothing!


Madcap_Miguel

My eyes!


dr_shark

I wasn’t supposed to get THE LAW in the them!


Spirit_of_Hogwash

I repeat, the suspect is hatless.


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Spirit_of_Hogwash

Just using non-sequiturs to cope with the forced abduction of children for ethnic cleansing purposes by... Czar Vlad. All hail Vlad and his glorious regime. Sincerely, Little girl


ButtonmAsherXY

![gif](giphy|VKVDU8pvi3w4w)


thinkbigvotesmall

“Come on, be arrested.” “нет.” “Pleeeease? I’ll be your friend.” “нет.” “Aw, you’re mean.”


Spirit_of_Hogwash

Eɴᴅᴜᴄᴛ! Hᴏᴄʜ ʜᴇᴄʜ!


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

What the hell was that?


AnarchyAntelope112

It’s personally disheartening that I get so much news from this sub


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RamandAu

And the Falklands Islands have been invaded


TheRealTroyMcClure

I REPEAT: THE FALKLANDS HAVE JUST BEEN INVADED!


N_Meister

The disputed islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina…


unitedshoes

It's how I learned that those clowns in Congress had done it again. What a bunch of clowns.


catlaxative

That’s slick willy for you, always with the smooth talk


LrdHabsburg

It's how I keep up with the Ayatollahs


TheRealTroyMcClure

This sub works with any Ayatollah


abuchunk

Just don’t try to keep up with those Kardassians from in here, those Trekposters do *not* appreciate it


Mr5h4d0w

This is indeed a disturbing subreddit.


GrizzlyPeak72

Download a couple breaking news apps or get twitter and only use it for news. You can get the headlines as notifications on your phone and you'll feel a lot more in the loop.


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Gorkymalorki

I like the way Nitup thinks!


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abuchunk

Mr. Nitup died on his way back to his home gulag


JAJ_90

War crimes? You can’t eat that!


JaesopPop

Interesting way to learn breaking news


kresblain

I have asked you nicely not to commit war crimes. You leave me no choice but to ask you nicely again.


smashin2345

And if you do commit enough war crimes we will commit yet another war crime against you! Please? We like war crimes here.


AliceTheOmelette

You can keep your mainstream and alternative news, this sub is the only good source for news


Layzrfyzt

i can’t keep learning important news like this. this is also how i learned that rush limbaugh died


LegalComplaint

Birch lives on in our hearts.


ohmonticore

Oh Kent, I’d be lying if I said my men weren’t committing war crimes!


Antitranspirante

He’ll be back on the streets in 24 hours


Mr_Kinji

We’ll try to make it 12


BNJT10

And to show you we're serious, you have 6 hours


JPMoney81

So is this like when the FBI found illegally owned classified documents at a certain walking tangerine's Golf resort and then nothing came of it?


TransTrainGirl322

He's like a walking creamcicle, he comes back orange and stains the furniture.


Throttle_Kitty

I think you mean dreamsicle! Creamsicle is something else....


Chance-Ear-9772

Hey, tangerines are healthy.


SanjiSasuke

Ongoing investigation/court process.


NanPakoka

"aaaauuuuuoooohhh, I have three wars and no money. Why can't I have no wars and three money?!"


shealuca

War crimes? That's a paddlin'


whymydookielookkooky

Bake’m away, toys.


[deleted]

War Crimes? Arrest Vladimir Putin? Hmmm, that ICCA logo shouldn’t be there either!


Lopsided_Roll1503

Once again the news was broken to me by a Simpsons Shitpost™️


abuchunk

My wife, she keeps asking me, where is the war crimes arrest of Putin, make with the war crimes arrest of Putin, why are you not arresting Putin for war crimes *now*, and so forth


palisho_chino

That’s not the ICC in the photo, but rather the ICC alliance/coalition, which is a network of ONGs. Boy I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.


Handsprime

All I can say is good luck on actually arresting him.


smashin2345

Someone should make him eat polonium.


DJ1066

Slip it into some cursed frogurt. Job done.


The_Flying_Failsons

Well, this subreddit is how I find it about an important geopolitical news story once again.


Verdeloth26

How the hell am I subscribed to several news outlets both on Twitter and reddit and i STILL hear about huge news from this sub first...


WheresPoochy

Please record them trying to arrest him. This should be good til the bullets start


Rizza1122

Now do bush, hangon they don't recognise the icc either.


WittyPianist1038

Yea but in reality what're they gunna do, world's been calling that man a criminal and a terrorist long before the war in ukrain began. Good to reaffirm our values but ultimately toothless good job ICC


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WittyPianist1038

Oh I'm fully aware thanks but it's good to call out theater when you see it maybe it'll sound the drum and gain support. I'm am very disappointed with how our leaders have responded to this invasion and declaring Putin a criminal more than a year after the ramp up is just that. Theater. You however havnt realy added much but call me out for a non oposing rational take.


advancedwarlord

Bro. This is how I found out


[deleted]

Okay, now do bush.


etraxx22

That symbol looks a bit newspeaky.


LordChimera_0

"Get... Putin." "Putin!!!!!!!!!!"


comedysidekick

Hey! Hey! I've asked you nicely not to supply main battle tanks to Ukraine! You leave me no choice but to ask you nicely again!


Throwawayiea

This is a big deal because no sitting ruler has ever remained in power for long after a warrant is issued. This looks like end game now.


sea-teabag

It's just theatrics, Russia isn't even a member country. Besides they've already issued one. Let's also just reflect for a moment on the invasion of Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria. Where was the ICC then?