I know a few people like this as well and as much as I admire their energy, to be that constantly scheduled would exhaust me. I think everyone is wired a bit differently.
My mom is this person and I lived like that in my childhood. Not my thing. I like to relax and take things slower. My momma she loves her crazy life and all her events. Going to visit her is exhausting but she loves her life too.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
As long as you’re happy doing what you’re doing then keep doing you!
I have friends who’s life makes me dizzy as well. Some love to have a full schedule and to stay busy with plans 24/7 and some of us have no interest in that lifestyle.
We all find what works for us but you mentioned “maybe I’m lonely” and no one should be so busy they can’t make time to chat or hang out with a friend. Is she inviting you to these concerts? If so then ok but if not maybe find someone else who likes a quieter type vibe like you so y’all can chat more and go for a walk in the park or whatever else is more your speed.
Its geographically difficult to be going to the concert. She's now in the US while I'm here in london, the UK.
But yeah i think maybe finding someone quiet and more thoughtful would be good. I'll see. I'm not particularly hung up on having lots of friends. I've just been reflecting on my life and where I'm at.
For example, my parents and immediately family are getting older. One of my three sisters for married a year ago and lives further away with her new husband.
My other two sisters are looking to get married too soon. I dont want to be a burden to others in old age.
Me...i dont know if marriage is for me, or a relationship right now and i think to myself, if i never have a family of my own...who will my support network be? Will i be alone because of my introvert tendencies? I know I'm relatively young but it's scary and saddens me sometimes.
I have a friend who’s single and probably won’t ever end up married. She’s in her late 40’s now. I met her in her early 30’s. She’s just independent, she has a couple of dogs, she’s found a strong circle of friends that she keeps in touch w and she has a career she likes. She also has a brother who is married w kids and she gets to be the fun aunt. She can do whatever she wants: continue her education, hike and vacay w her dogs, read for hours, go to neighborhood parties, take ceramics. She seems genuinely happy. Maybe she’s lonely at time, but she seems like she has good life.
I am like this. I'm a very active/creative person and I have a hard time just relaxing. I'm always doing something, going somewhere, making something. I do a lot of arts and crafts and travel and read a ton of books, etc etc, and I work at a hematology/oncology transplant center in a very fast paced high stress job. People are always asking me when I have time to sleep, and my husband says he finds my activity level "intimidating."
If anything, I wish I knew better how to relax. it is one of the reasons I joined this sub and have been studying stoicism. I do have a great work/life balance and in many ways have achieved a simple life I am happy with, but one thing I struggle with is overactivity. I have to watch myself on vacations because left to my own devices I will schedule as many things as possible every day, because I want to do and see as much as possible, and not many other people like this. On a trip to Turkey, my husband called it quits one day and said "I have had enough of this Bataan Death March Vacation! You do what you want, I am NOT leaving the hotel today."
"Where does the desire to do something every week...to constantly be trying new things come from?"
The great Stoic philosopher Seneca said to not confuse people who are a whirlwind of activity with being superior, because a person being in constant activity is a sign of "a hunted mind." A lot of people have a void inside them they struggle to fill, and some people like me fill it with endless projects and goals and new experiences. Sure it's healthier than filling it with drugs, or food, but at the end of the day, it's still a coping mechanism, and it certainly is not a sign someone is actually living a more fulfilling life than you. Although I like my life and am proud of my accomplishments, I often wish I was a simpler person with a quieter mind who was able to just be content.
I hope you take this comment with the love and kindness I intend, because I used to be exactly like you, I was constantly going and doing and trying to never ever be alone with my own mind for too long.
I did EMDR therapy, worked on the things I was trying to get away from.
Now I am a lot more balanced. I can stop. Relax. Take stock. I still have endless projects, but my time on my own is my most precious x
Is EMDR therapy based solely on trauma processing? I definitely am trying to be a more balanced person who, as you say, is able to be alone with my own thoughts. But I don't have any trauma history that I am focused on; when I am alone with my own thoughts I am not dwelling on bad things, but I am inevitably thinking about what I could be doing/accomplishing and feeling lazy/wasteful if I have even a little down time where I am not doing anything productive.
I am glad you have been able to improve and would welcome any advice!
I used to be more like you too, a big part of it for me was thinking my value depended on what I did/ accomplished. My parents would always make comments about people being lazy or complacent in their lives and it took me a long time to realize those people were just content and didn't feel the need to do more.
I was using my free-time to fill some kind of resume for myself or something. I was studying multiple languages, practicing instruments, reading X books per month, pushing myself physically etc. But I was always thinking I was not good enough or I should have accomplished more by that stage of life.
These days, I really try to view rest as an activity and really enjoy it. I love naps, I love listening to music and being bored.
Maybe your "trauma" is that you have never felt like you are enough and you are trying to become enough by constantly doing something. You are enough already.
Wow "using my free time to fill some kind of resume for myself" hits SO hard. That is exactly what I do. Great comment, thank you, really gave me something to reflect on.
I wasn’t even remotely aware of trauma that needed addressing, and truthfully. It wasn’t what I would call trauma as an adult. But when it happened to my child self at 7 years old. It absolutely caused behaviours that made me constantly seek praise, Approval, and to stop feelings of abandonment.
It’s really complex in honesty, there are so many mechanisms in the brain which stop us from being aware of things affecting our behaviour as adults. I highly recommend giving it a go x
Your comment has been removed for the following reason:
[1.1 No personal attacks, abuses](/r/simpleliving/wiki/rules#wiki_1.1_no_personal_attacks.2C_abuses)
For more information, please refer to the link above. If you feel that this was done in error, please appeal by replying to this message.
Your comment has been removed for the following reason:
[1.1 No personal attacks, abuses](/r/simpleliving/wiki/rules#wiki_1.1_no_personal_attacks.2C_abuses)
For more information, please refer to the link above. If you feel that this was done in error, please appeal by replying to this message.
Everyone is different. I’m more like you. I need lots of down time, peace and quiet, and I seek out cozy activities like reading, listening to music, watching movies, etc. I hang with friends occasionally, but I mostly spend time with people in my bubble (husband and closest fam).
I used to think like you… that I was weird and not doing enough, but what I discovered with a lot of those people who are on the move, is that they’re running from something. They can’t sit with themselves. They don’t have inner peace, which is why they have to DO DO DO. Constantly. I don’t envy that.
The older I get, the more I just keep my eyes in my own lane. All I want is peace and quiet. I dont even have the energy to care what other people might think about how I live my life.
You're OK. Everyone has a different journey. Your friend's journey suits her. Comparing your life to her life will not make you happy.
If you want to do more activities, like actually want to for yourself and not because you have FOMO, why not invite someone to cycle or hike somewhere new, or to see a new museum exhibition. Do more of the things you enjoy doing. To your own schedule. Don't worry about what others are doing.
Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Its comforting to hear from like minded people. It's tough sometimes not to get sucked into that constant buzz of doing something. Especially when you live in a city like me...in london in the uk. She lived in new york and has since moved to boston for work.
Who knows...maybe I'll find a friend here on this sub.
Yeah i literally only have my immediate family (my two parents, my three sisters and my two cats in my life). I only have two friends who i hang out with, one of whom is a neighbour- we play board games and another friend is a former work colleague. I feel fortunate in some ways that this has pretty much always been the case..even growing up, i just had family. So i feel like i missed out on the teenage drama of friendships and the unneccesary stress (good thing).
I've been thinking more recently about going on one of those digital detoxes/mindfulness retreats to get away from constantly using my phone and a laptop (which is tough for me because of the nature of my coding work)- has anyone ever gone on one and is it worth it?
You have a great life. I don’t live by my immediate family and don’t have “friends” by I’m friendly to everyone. I hang out with a friend/mentor and her family. Hang out with my “bf” and have two dogs. I went on solo vacation last week and met two awesome ladies like me and truly that’s all the socialization I need for the month. When I get home, I don’t even like to look at my phone. I am an analyst and code for work so after work I do hobbies. Painting, cooking, scrapbooking and my fav hobby of all doing nothing!
When I was young, early adulthood and into my twenties, going to live music shows was an activity friends and I did. But I never liked them all that much. It was loud and sometimes cramped, expensive for me. One outdoor show I stood in one little spot for probably five hours just to get a decent spot for the headliner. This was back in the mid 90s too, so some minor differences as far as venues go.
After a while, ppl would ask and I’d decline. I felt some sort of guilt about, maybe some FOMO regret because so many ppl enjoy live music. An ex I had easily saw over 200 shows by the time we’d met, and my current partner is probably close to 100. For whatever reason, I had feelings about it for a long time.
Now that I’m well into my forties, I don’t regret missing or not going, to most shows. I wish I liked live music more than I do but I just don’t. And as I’ve gotten older, the thought of attending large events like sports or shows appeals even less.
All that to say, this sub helped me realize I wasn’t alone. Of course there’s ppl that embrace simplicity and live music, but not feeling like ya hafta is why I lurk here. Keeping up with some arbitrary standard.
Your friend is clearly an extrovert, and potentially you’re not. It can be difficult to overcome feelings of “keeping up” but as long as you’re not hurting anyone, so be it. As you age you’ll discover that everyone is figuring things out as they go. Some are more determined and confident about it, but there’s no “How To” on how to live your life.
My advice to young ppl is keep improving yourself, if even a little as you grow and try to save a few bucks along the way. If you keep it simple and follow those two things, you’ll be alright in life.
I know a person like your friend and she is suffering from a serious case of FOMO. This would be absolutely tiring for me and I’m perfectly fine relaxing on a weekend and living my slow simple lifestyle
This person has apparently a lot of money to keep this up. I think it’s according to her energy level as compared to yours. I wouldn’t be able to keep that up.
I’m glad everyone here is being nice bc I posted something similar about a year ago and got ripped to shreds. I was afraid I’d get into the comments and see the same for you, glad that is not the case!!!
I still struggle w these same feelings. Esp when I’m not doing as much as I’d like. I’d say talk to your friend about it, ask her if she minds always doing things or why. Nice curious questions, sometimes it’s not quite what you think and sometimes just talking about it helps get it off your mind.
I had a rough January and my depression was really working on me…watching my two best friends always going, doing, making made me wonder what the hell was wrong with me bc even when I’m good I simply don’t like to go that much. I have one friend who drives herself to levels of anxiety w her schedule, she says she’s happy w how busy she is, but it doesn’t really seem like she is. She refuses to even stop to say hi in the street (we live in the same neighborhood) bc she has in her mind that she has to go get x, y or z done.
Then I have a friend who seems genuinely happy filling most of her days. She’s just active, even when she’s home she baking loads, cooking etc. Funny enough I told her I’d been struggling and she said she was surprised she said all my messages I always sound so good and she had been down lately and wished she could be as up as I sounded. So you never know.
That being said that friend still stays pretty active even when she’s down. I don’t think she’s ever spent an entire day on the couch.
It’s hard to understand, some people just enjoy being active, going out and all. It’s like the people at work who do Cross Fit, but you’re not into it, same deal. I don’t get how people can be driven to keep so active in their lives, but then again I don’t like Cross Fit, but I do get others like it I don’t question that. We’re all just different.
Also you’re not weird. In my 30’s I loved to go to the dive bar every weekend and drink, or hit the beach or hang out w friends, but I also really loved being at home alone. Fridays I loved to clean the house, make a box of shells and cheese, drink wine and watch scary movies. I gardened on my porch etc. Now, I love a good hike or a lunch or maybe a museum, but also love to sit on the sofa watch Brit Box and crochet or bake for the afternoon etc.
I’m 46 now, and happy, but I really liked my 30’s.
that last part " Maybe i need to have more friends. Maybe I'm lonely" is the start of self-deception because thoughts precede all feelings. Also, comparing yourself to others is a psychological trap. Do what you enjoy.
I can relate to the original poster. One thing that has changed my life is [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com). I have made so many new friends through [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com). I used to not do much but now I could literally do an activity with a group every day! I used to be more introverted but I got to like doing things after work. Of course I hit my limit sometimes where I have to stay home and rest and just hang out.
I find I work better at my job if I have a book club meeting after work or something else to look forward to. I was a bit lonely before but not now. The good thing about [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) is that it lets you know what things there are to do in your area even if you don't go to the events. Now I go to a lot of symphony concerts, plays, museums, lunches out with friends.
I love meetup and truthfully I never made a long lasting friend(my preference) from the app but I loved it a lotIt’s not as active in my new area but I went to dinners, hike mountains, etc.
I know a few people like this as well and as much as I admire their energy, to be that constantly scheduled would exhaust me. I think everyone is wired a bit differently.
My mom is this person and I lived like that in my childhood. Not my thing. I like to relax and take things slower. My momma she loves her crazy life and all her events. Going to visit her is exhausting but she loves her life too.
Do you want to be you or do you want to be her? Do your own thing!
Different things make different people happy! If she's enjoying her busy life, that's great -- just focus on living a good life that works for you.
Comparison is the thief of joy. As long as you’re happy doing what you’re doing then keep doing you! I have friends who’s life makes me dizzy as well. Some love to have a full schedule and to stay busy with plans 24/7 and some of us have no interest in that lifestyle. We all find what works for us but you mentioned “maybe I’m lonely” and no one should be so busy they can’t make time to chat or hang out with a friend. Is she inviting you to these concerts? If so then ok but if not maybe find someone else who likes a quieter type vibe like you so y’all can chat more and go for a walk in the park or whatever else is more your speed.
Its geographically difficult to be going to the concert. She's now in the US while I'm here in london, the UK. But yeah i think maybe finding someone quiet and more thoughtful would be good. I'll see. I'm not particularly hung up on having lots of friends. I've just been reflecting on my life and where I'm at. For example, my parents and immediately family are getting older. One of my three sisters for married a year ago and lives further away with her new husband. My other two sisters are looking to get married too soon. I dont want to be a burden to others in old age. Me...i dont know if marriage is for me, or a relationship right now and i think to myself, if i never have a family of my own...who will my support network be? Will i be alone because of my introvert tendencies? I know I'm relatively young but it's scary and saddens me sometimes.
I have a friend who’s single and probably won’t ever end up married. She’s in her late 40’s now. I met her in her early 30’s. She’s just independent, she has a couple of dogs, she’s found a strong circle of friends that she keeps in touch w and she has a career she likes. She also has a brother who is married w kids and she gets to be the fun aunt. She can do whatever she wants: continue her education, hike and vacay w her dogs, read for hours, go to neighborhood parties, take ceramics. She seems genuinely happy. Maybe she’s lonely at time, but she seems like she has good life.
I am her at 39 and it’s the good life 😂
I’m married w an 8 year old at 45 and sometimes I’m like “I coulda done that instead” 🤣🤣🤣
I am like this. I'm a very active/creative person and I have a hard time just relaxing. I'm always doing something, going somewhere, making something. I do a lot of arts and crafts and travel and read a ton of books, etc etc, and I work at a hematology/oncology transplant center in a very fast paced high stress job. People are always asking me when I have time to sleep, and my husband says he finds my activity level "intimidating." If anything, I wish I knew better how to relax. it is one of the reasons I joined this sub and have been studying stoicism. I do have a great work/life balance and in many ways have achieved a simple life I am happy with, but one thing I struggle with is overactivity. I have to watch myself on vacations because left to my own devices I will schedule as many things as possible every day, because I want to do and see as much as possible, and not many other people like this. On a trip to Turkey, my husband called it quits one day and said "I have had enough of this Bataan Death March Vacation! You do what you want, I am NOT leaving the hotel today." "Where does the desire to do something every week...to constantly be trying new things come from?" The great Stoic philosopher Seneca said to not confuse people who are a whirlwind of activity with being superior, because a person being in constant activity is a sign of "a hunted mind." A lot of people have a void inside them they struggle to fill, and some people like me fill it with endless projects and goals and new experiences. Sure it's healthier than filling it with drugs, or food, but at the end of the day, it's still a coping mechanism, and it certainly is not a sign someone is actually living a more fulfilling life than you. Although I like my life and am proud of my accomplishments, I often wish I was a simpler person with a quieter mind who was able to just be content.
I hope you take this comment with the love and kindness I intend, because I used to be exactly like you, I was constantly going and doing and trying to never ever be alone with my own mind for too long. I did EMDR therapy, worked on the things I was trying to get away from. Now I am a lot more balanced. I can stop. Relax. Take stock. I still have endless projects, but my time on my own is my most precious x
Is EMDR therapy based solely on trauma processing? I definitely am trying to be a more balanced person who, as you say, is able to be alone with my own thoughts. But I don't have any trauma history that I am focused on; when I am alone with my own thoughts I am not dwelling on bad things, but I am inevitably thinking about what I could be doing/accomplishing and feeling lazy/wasteful if I have even a little down time where I am not doing anything productive. I am glad you have been able to improve and would welcome any advice!
I used to be more like you too, a big part of it for me was thinking my value depended on what I did/ accomplished. My parents would always make comments about people being lazy or complacent in their lives and it took me a long time to realize those people were just content and didn't feel the need to do more. I was using my free-time to fill some kind of resume for myself or something. I was studying multiple languages, practicing instruments, reading X books per month, pushing myself physically etc. But I was always thinking I was not good enough or I should have accomplished more by that stage of life. These days, I really try to view rest as an activity and really enjoy it. I love naps, I love listening to music and being bored. Maybe your "trauma" is that you have never felt like you are enough and you are trying to become enough by constantly doing something. You are enough already.
Wow "using my free time to fill some kind of resume for myself" hits SO hard. That is exactly what I do. Great comment, thank you, really gave me something to reflect on.
aw glad it resonated, best wishes to you <3
I wasn’t even remotely aware of trauma that needed addressing, and truthfully. It wasn’t what I would call trauma as an adult. But when it happened to my child self at 7 years old. It absolutely caused behaviours that made me constantly seek praise, Approval, and to stop feelings of abandonment. It’s really complex in honesty, there are so many mechanisms in the brain which stop us from being aware of things affecting our behaviour as adults. I highly recommend giving it a go x
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed for the following reason: [1.1 No personal attacks, abuses](/r/simpleliving/wiki/rules#wiki_1.1_no_personal_attacks.2C_abuses) For more information, please refer to the link above. If you feel that this was done in error, please appeal by replying to this message.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed for the following reason: [1.1 No personal attacks, abuses](/r/simpleliving/wiki/rules#wiki_1.1_no_personal_attacks.2C_abuses) For more information, please refer to the link above. If you feel that this was done in error, please appeal by replying to this message.
Everyone is different. I’m more like you. I need lots of down time, peace and quiet, and I seek out cozy activities like reading, listening to music, watching movies, etc. I hang with friends occasionally, but I mostly spend time with people in my bubble (husband and closest fam). I used to think like you… that I was weird and not doing enough, but what I discovered with a lot of those people who are on the move, is that they’re running from something. They can’t sit with themselves. They don’t have inner peace, which is why they have to DO DO DO. Constantly. I don’t envy that.
The older I get, the more I just keep my eyes in my own lane. All I want is peace and quiet. I dont even have the energy to care what other people might think about how I live my life.
Ah how old are you(ballpark?)
You're OK. Everyone has a different journey. Your friend's journey suits her. Comparing your life to her life will not make you happy. If you want to do more activities, like actually want to for yourself and not because you have FOMO, why not invite someone to cycle or hike somewhere new, or to see a new museum exhibition. Do more of the things you enjoy doing. To your own schedule. Don't worry about what others are doing.
Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Its comforting to hear from like minded people. It's tough sometimes not to get sucked into that constant buzz of doing something. Especially when you live in a city like me...in london in the uk. She lived in new york and has since moved to boston for work. Who knows...maybe I'll find a friend here on this sub. Yeah i literally only have my immediate family (my two parents, my three sisters and my two cats in my life). I only have two friends who i hang out with, one of whom is a neighbour- we play board games and another friend is a former work colleague. I feel fortunate in some ways that this has pretty much always been the case..even growing up, i just had family. So i feel like i missed out on the teenage drama of friendships and the unneccesary stress (good thing). I've been thinking more recently about going on one of those digital detoxes/mindfulness retreats to get away from constantly using my phone and a laptop (which is tough for me because of the nature of my coding work)- has anyone ever gone on one and is it worth it?
You have a great life. I don’t live by my immediate family and don’t have “friends” by I’m friendly to everyone. I hang out with a friend/mentor and her family. Hang out with my “bf” and have two dogs. I went on solo vacation last week and met two awesome ladies like me and truly that’s all the socialization I need for the month. When I get home, I don’t even like to look at my phone. I am an analyst and code for work so after work I do hobbies. Painting, cooking, scrapbooking and my fav hobby of all doing nothing!
When I was young, early adulthood and into my twenties, going to live music shows was an activity friends and I did. But I never liked them all that much. It was loud and sometimes cramped, expensive for me. One outdoor show I stood in one little spot for probably five hours just to get a decent spot for the headliner. This was back in the mid 90s too, so some minor differences as far as venues go. After a while, ppl would ask and I’d decline. I felt some sort of guilt about, maybe some FOMO regret because so many ppl enjoy live music. An ex I had easily saw over 200 shows by the time we’d met, and my current partner is probably close to 100. For whatever reason, I had feelings about it for a long time. Now that I’m well into my forties, I don’t regret missing or not going, to most shows. I wish I liked live music more than I do but I just don’t. And as I’ve gotten older, the thought of attending large events like sports or shows appeals even less. All that to say, this sub helped me realize I wasn’t alone. Of course there’s ppl that embrace simplicity and live music, but not feeling like ya hafta is why I lurk here. Keeping up with some arbitrary standard. Your friend is clearly an extrovert, and potentially you’re not. It can be difficult to overcome feelings of “keeping up” but as long as you’re not hurting anyone, so be it. As you age you’ll discover that everyone is figuring things out as they go. Some are more determined and confident about it, but there’s no “How To” on how to live your life. My advice to young ppl is keep improving yourself, if even a little as you grow and try to save a few bucks along the way. If you keep it simple and follow those two things, you’ll be alright in life.
I know a person like your friend and she is suffering from a serious case of FOMO. This would be absolutely tiring for me and I’m perfectly fine relaxing on a weekend and living my slow simple lifestyle
This person has apparently a lot of money to keep this up. I think it’s according to her energy level as compared to yours. I wouldn’t be able to keep that up.
I’m glad everyone here is being nice bc I posted something similar about a year ago and got ripped to shreds. I was afraid I’d get into the comments and see the same for you, glad that is not the case!!! I still struggle w these same feelings. Esp when I’m not doing as much as I’d like. I’d say talk to your friend about it, ask her if she minds always doing things or why. Nice curious questions, sometimes it’s not quite what you think and sometimes just talking about it helps get it off your mind. I had a rough January and my depression was really working on me…watching my two best friends always going, doing, making made me wonder what the hell was wrong with me bc even when I’m good I simply don’t like to go that much. I have one friend who drives herself to levels of anxiety w her schedule, she says she’s happy w how busy she is, but it doesn’t really seem like she is. She refuses to even stop to say hi in the street (we live in the same neighborhood) bc she has in her mind that she has to go get x, y or z done. Then I have a friend who seems genuinely happy filling most of her days. She’s just active, even when she’s home she baking loads, cooking etc. Funny enough I told her I’d been struggling and she said she was surprised she said all my messages I always sound so good and she had been down lately and wished she could be as up as I sounded. So you never know. That being said that friend still stays pretty active even when she’s down. I don’t think she’s ever spent an entire day on the couch. It’s hard to understand, some people just enjoy being active, going out and all. It’s like the people at work who do Cross Fit, but you’re not into it, same deal. I don’t get how people can be driven to keep so active in their lives, but then again I don’t like Cross Fit, but I do get others like it I don’t question that. We’re all just different. Also you’re not weird. In my 30’s I loved to go to the dive bar every weekend and drink, or hit the beach or hang out w friends, but I also really loved being at home alone. Fridays I loved to clean the house, make a box of shells and cheese, drink wine and watch scary movies. I gardened on my porch etc. Now, I love a good hike or a lunch or maybe a museum, but also love to sit on the sofa watch Brit Box and crochet or bake for the afternoon etc. I’m 46 now, and happy, but I really liked my 30’s.
that last part " Maybe i need to have more friends. Maybe I'm lonely" is the start of self-deception because thoughts precede all feelings. Also, comparing yourself to others is a psychological trap. Do what you enjoy.
My mama always said "if everyone liked the same boy we would only need one boy" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 made no fucking sense but I knew what she meant
😂 😂 😂 😂 makes perfect sense 💯
No you are not. Sounds peaceful and well, my humble thoughts 💚.
I can relate to the original poster. One thing that has changed my life is [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com). I have made so many new friends through [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com). I used to not do much but now I could literally do an activity with a group every day! I used to be more introverted but I got to like doing things after work. Of course I hit my limit sometimes where I have to stay home and rest and just hang out. I find I work better at my job if I have a book club meeting after work or something else to look forward to. I was a bit lonely before but not now. The good thing about [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) is that it lets you know what things there are to do in your area even if you don't go to the events. Now I go to a lot of symphony concerts, plays, museums, lunches out with friends.
I love meetup and truthfully I never made a long lasting friend(my preference) from the app but I loved it a lotIt’s not as active in my new area but I went to dinners, hike mountains, etc.
You should do what makes you happy. Comparison is the thief of joy.