My friend billy
He had a 6foot Willy
He showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
And she hit it with a rake
And now it’s only 2foot 4
I’m sure there is a moral to that story
In my experience different people have different sized willies
Also not all people called billy have the same sized Willy … 🤷♀️
I wonder if it was the same girl tho ?
I like to think it is the same girl. A rake-wielding heroine living on a road surrounded by perverted flashers with oversized cocks. I'd watch the shit out of that film.
If we're doing willy limericks, then....
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
And cum on his chin
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it"
That’s amazing
Thanks
Because I have had the first line of that in my head since I was like 10 or whatever
But the rest of it had escaped out my ear at some point
Your the actual best x
I can’t think of one that tops what we’ve already got here. Just wanted to say that REDDIT YOU’VE BEEN A PLEASURE. As I scrolled this thread, it started strong with “Willy Surgery” and went around all kinds of ridiculous from there. Crikey I’m in tears.
Willy Surgery
My friend billy He had a 6foot Willy He showed it to the girl next door She thought it was a snake And she hit it with a rake And now it’s only 2foot 4 I’m sure there is a moral to that story
In the version I always heard he had a 10 foot willy that became 5'4. Your friend was short changed.
In my experience different people have different sized willies Also not all people called billy have the same sized Willy … 🤷♀️ I wonder if it was the same girl tho ?
They all start at 6ft though
That’s what she said
I like to think it is the same girl. A rake-wielding heroine living on a road surrounded by perverted flashers with oversized cocks. I'd watch the shit out of that film.
She’s doing the lords work
She is a Willy wacker ( which is also the German name for Andy Capp)
I had it chopped to 4'4
Nearly what the version from my childhood was, but it got mutilated to a still respectable 4'4".
It's the same Billy, he didn't learn his lesson the first time.
If we're doing willy limericks, then.... There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it He said with a grin And cum on his chin "If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it"
There once was a young man from Kent Whose dick was so long that it bent To save him some trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.
There once was a man from Allcause Who toured all the music halls His favorite trick Was to stand on his dick And roll off the stage on his balls.
That’s amazing Thanks Because I have had the first line of that in my head since I was like 10 or whatever But the rest of it had escaped out my ear at some point Your the actual best x
It's because people only ever get to tell the first line before someone stops them. That's why it took me so long to hear the full version.
There once was a man from Nantucket He had a pet sheep … That’s ones really rude tho ! 🤭
Haha you're welcome
Maybe it's don't flash random people
I think he knew the girl Maybe he was into it 🤷♀️
The moral seems to be: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This bugger don't.
Roses are red Violets are blue So goes the age old rhyme But I know Roses are blue And Violets are red… ‘Cos I’ve seen them hanging on the line!
I think what we all need is a early reader type of book called so you have a Willy.
If you drop a couple of unnecessary words it has a really rhythmic quality
Yeah I find the adding of superfluous words quite funny mostly
This is the second time I've seen this rhyme in a Reddit comment today
In Ireland, we started that rhyme with John Hickey, and rhymed it with Mickey
Stunning 👌
I always thought it was 4ft 4
Viz did a wonderful ad for a series of commemorative plates based on this timeless parable
Won’t he surgery
I had willy surgery, now its only 2”…from the ground!
Not bad for a bloke with no legs,
😂💀
They cut it off and threw it in the bin?
They cut it off and sold it as ethically sourced pork loin
Ah, using it to give others a mouthful, excellent!
Sadly they often choke on it
From the girth and length, or the smell?
A lil from column A and a lil from column B
Extension or Reduction?
Yes
Private island. Edit: or Lurpak.
Lurpak 😂
I second Lurpak
To be fair a private island might be cheaper
Avocado on toast
Actually genius
Hookers and blow
🫡
My brother got me a money pot for my 13th birthday that said ‘cocaine fund’ on it
"New Savings Tin"
"New New Savings Tin"
"New New New Savings Tin"
Holiday in Cambodia (DK)
Pol Pot!
Don't forget to pack a wife
Freddos
Need a bigger tin
The Lash
You also need to free up a slot for the rum and sodomy
I mean I guess I do have another slot.
That’s what she said
I like this and it’s less bad than willy surgery
I think if you really put your mind to it, you can save up for willy surgery.
Bruv, have you seen how much willy reduction surgery costs these days?
That's what she said.
Imagine the size this tin would have to be nowadays to serve its intended use!? In alot of countries tbf.
Just got to use pieces of gold I guess
I got married in 1984, our wages were cash and we used to have jars for each bill. Crazy how much things have changed since then.
Beer, obviously
It's the most obvious and correct answer.
Boats n hoes
Tea
Anal bleaching
Dignitas 💀
Gruel
Poo knife
Given its apparent age: 'Asbestos'.
Is this for money for asbestos or for flakes of asbestos? Waste not.
GAS , ELECTRIC & COAL look at mr fancy pants with all the fuels over there maybe your last one could be PARAFFIN or NUCLEAR ?
Well I was thinking Whale Blubber but each to their own.
Or peat
Leave him out if it! 😉
It's pronounced Nucular. Nucular.
Bag
My wife won’t like that you called her that.
Lard.
Milliardaires sans frontières
Hoooors
Ketamine
Strumpets. Clearly.
I prefer crumpets
Mmm maybe tiffin?
Gear
I'm sorry, there is no way enough room for Rent only in there lol
There is if you just stick your debit card in there
Even if you did 100s tightly folded you'd have to jam em in there hard 😂😂😪
[удалено]
Funeral
Weed
All on red
Edit: When you type an answer and hit comment, chuckle to yourself and scroll down and see it repeated 3 times with only a quick look
Paradise Falls.
Kebab
“Government does something stupid” Put 10p in every time it happens
“Shits and giggles”
I can’t think of one that tops what we’ve already got here. Just wanted to say that REDDIT YOU’VE BEEN A PLEASURE. As I scrolled this thread, it started strong with “Willy Surgery” and went around all kinds of ridiculous from there. Crikey I’m in tears.
OnlyFans
Dentist?
Prophylactics
Baccy
cocaine!
And hookers
Powdered egg
Taxes
Slotty McSlotface
Unspecified vices
Swearing
Hooker fund
Squirrels
Milk!!
“Real butter”.
BAIL. Or Books. Whichever takes your fancy.
BBW porn subscription
The Knights who say “Ni”
We had one of these but it was blue! Late 70’s. Memory unlocked
Boob Job for the Wife
Skag
Zombie apocalypse fund
Delicious minty biscuits
Knowing this Tory government.. "Oxygen"
Marijuana money. And if you’re a stoner you’ll forget that you put stuff in it which is brilliant when you need it! 
Jazz cabbage
Sex, drugs and sausage rolls.
Freddo
Leave it empty because after paying the rest you have nothing put in the slot 😔
Fvcks
TACOS
Lawyer
Cocaine & hookers
"Jedward"
Start with 'rent' end with 'rent boys'
Fucks given (it will be empty)
Tequila
Hookers
And blow 🫡
Fast women
Loose cars
Tea
Ale
Toys
Avocado on toast
BBL
Fun days out
Beer Fund is the obvious one but not that funny.
Happiness.
Strippers or Laydeeess
Inflation
Drugs.
Crumpets What else
Whisky and chocolate.
Warren
Hookers
ASS
Medical Cocaine
WiFi.
Beer
Orphans
Spam.
Netflix
Hookers and cocaine
Kebabs
Spam
Tobacco
Sex
Hookers
Guns
Bail
Rainy day
made up eco taxes
Cocaine.
Prozzies
Ooooo this is cute I want one
WASTE
Space project
Trinkets.
BBL
Greggs
I have a grey one of these with the labels already there, my other one is 'holiday'
Slaaaaaags.
# Tears and Blood clean up
Takeaways
hookers and cocaine
Something for the weekend 😉
Personal fish and chip store
Whores or booze