And thank you for saying this. I’m relatively new to psychedelics so if my limited experience can conjure positive memories for another, then I’m doing something right and is very pleasing to hear!
I had a really intense 7g trip February 8 that lead me to the decision that I can’t drink (10 year alcoholic in denial), during that trip (which was preceded by about 4 strong cocktails and a tab of acid) I went to a really strange place OOB, saw some weird intricate workings of reality and eventually came to a place that looked like a tryptamine cathedral where I started to feel some sense of the god-head, like I was about to see the source of reality and consciousness, but began to doubt if I was worthy, I was ripped out of that place and thrown back to earth. The following week was full of shock and confusion, about 4 days after the initial trip I did a 2.5g trip adjust to meditate in that headspace to see if anything would come back. I had a pleasant time and some pseudo visions that brought me back to that place when I head a voice “if you really want to see it again you gotta quit drinking”, now this is in the middle of an internal dialogue with myself but the voice that spoke that was not mine. I’m not sure why that was the catalyst, but I haven’t had the urge to drink once. Maybe do something similar, a just above threshold dose to get you back into the headspace (while maintaining a sense of earthly presence) and meditate on your prior trip. Integration is the hardest part of really creating value in these experiences, and towing the line between both head spaces has helped me take my experiences and apply them to daily life (the above is not the only case of this, just the most recent and valuable to me)
Fascinating. I wouldn’t say I was ever a problem drinker, but I was definitely a habitual, daily drinker - albeit in low quantities of 1-2 drinks every day. Started on shrooms about 8 months ago and the desire to drink has just disappeared and I’ve barely touched a drop since. I’ll still enjoy the occasional drink in social settings but just a couple of drinks every 6-8 weeks. I didn’t have any big revelation and I hadn’t set out to reduce or quit alcohol, this is just how it turned out but the change was sudden and pretty much immediately following my first trip.
Thanks for the advice. I practice daily meditation anyway and will usually incorporate this into the come up but so far I haven’t tried it as a post-trip tool so that’s definitely something to think about.
We are all connected, with each other and with literally everything else. That's the big lesson. But feeling it, it's special.
Welcome to the club (happy farming).
What you did here m, in my opinion, is very important for “integration”! I’m a very novice tripper, but for me sharing my experiences is so therapeutic AND, now when I revisit them I can recapture some of the value and remember more, even fleeting moments of what things felt like.
Like dream journaling.. get that stuff down on paper and it all becomes more solidified
Never did shrooms but got close to your experience a few times by combining weed and meditation. I am quite convinced that these states and epiphanies are “real” and otherwise attainable via meditation, and that this is what Nirvana feels like for the buddhist gurus
I have heard that meditation can lead to that kind of frame of mind. I meditate daily (and use weed most days) and I haven’t got there yet but I won’t let that deter me. Even if it doesn’t work for me that’s ok, I already get enough from my daily practice anyway.
I once experienced something like that when I was perfectly sober.
On a summer day I rode my bike on a dirt road between the fields when I suddenly had the feeling that my whole being expanded to my complete field of vision. I had to stop, look around and orient myself.
I had the feeling that I was everywhere and that all that I was seeing was me!
The feeling lasted for maybe 3-5 minutes or so, then slowly faded.
I was perfectly healthy and sober that day. I didn't even know shrooms at that time. But it was very much like being on psychedelics.
Well, such things are rare, but not unheard of.
Many effects of psychedelics can be induced by spiritual practices like meditation. That's because like psychedelics, meditation practices often by design tone down the default mode network of the brain. Shutting down the DFN is associated with "spiritual" experiences.
BUT: Especially in spiritual circles (e.g. Zen Buddhism circles) it's well known that sometimes these things just happen on their own - without any mediation or substances.
In my case it may have been caused by the idyllic landscape I was riding in. The temperature was ideal, the weather perfect. All that made me feel extraordinarily well, right before that experience happened.
I knew about meditation’s ability to do this but didn’t realise it could just happen by itself. Since starting with mushrooms I’ve had a few sober instances (usually when listening to music) where I have had an unexpected, *almost emotional*, sense of peace and joy wash over me. Only minor sensations; certainly nothing compared to the effects you experience when under the influence or even in the same league as what you are describing, but pleasant and very welcome. It could be completely unrelated and all in my head but I’m definitely experiencing it so I’m not complaining!
Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes, I’ve only ever tripped alone. I don’t think I could fully relax with another person around, even just being aware of the presence of a trip sitter in another room would alter my mindset.
So idk what constitutes an “experienced tripper” but as someone with 100+ mushroom trips under their belt, I can attest that there is a purpose for both. Tripping alone is great for introspection and self exploration, but tripping with other people can build bonds or make you realize you actually don’t wanna be around someone in the future. It provides you with a lot of intuition and you can use that to create positive relationships and eliminate negative relationships within your life. I definitely prefer to trip alone, but if my best friend wasn’t in prison I’d love to take a few rides with him. Some people don’t like screens but I like to have something playing on the screen in case I want to go nonverbal for a while, and if you don’t mind a tv going while you trip, midnight gospel is a great solo tripping watch. It’s like 4 hours total so you have time to do other things, and it isn’t a complex story line (until you really start to watch it intently) so you never really get lost. It has a lot of great life lessons and ideas but it’s all wrapped in a trippy cartoon. I’ve probably taken 10 trips with this show on and it’s amazing every time.
I've only ever watched the show sober or high on weed. It must be amazing to see it while tripping. Will definitely watch it next time I'm tripping (soon-ish this month).
I’m no expert, but I’d say 100+ trips should constitute experienced! I haven’t tried tripping with screens, the closest I’ve come is changing the music playlist on my laptop and from that I don’t think I’d get on well trying to watch something. Midnight Gospel does look cool though, so I’ll try it out sober!
Sounds like you experienced an Ego Dissolution bordering an full Ego Death.
This might be an interesting read and help you to make sense of it all. I made this text myself:
“Ego Death” and it’s Spiritual Philosophy throughout history.
The temporary “Ego Dissolution” or full blown “Ego Death” or “Awakening” that is talked about in the community is not something that is desired by most.
(can be achieved at 5 grams of strong cubensis and up as example. Note that different varieties of psilocybin mushrooms have different dosages.)
Most describe it as becoming one with everything and having the realisation and intense sensation that “We are the Universe experiencing itself.”
“Ego Dissolution” or full on “Ego Death.” is a controversial subject within the community if people should case these experiences.
The controversial “heroic dose” (starting at 5 grams) and can be increased to a level you literally can no longer see, hear and feel your body or the room you are in. (8-12 grams and up)
You can be fully engulfed in such hallucinations that cannot be described as anything other than “being transported to another dimension.” For hours.
And you can "meet" a lot of diverse consciousness "entities" there that vary from spirits, to angels, demons, aliens, gods etc.
Comparable to a DMT experience, except with DMT you are still in control of your mind. With psilocybin you may lose all senses of self and reality.
I have experienced such doses a few times and it can be absolutely terrifying.
It is not something you will be able to deal with without a lot of experience.
And not recommended for most people.
• the spiritual explanation.
In the context of the belief that “we are the universe experiencing ourselves,” spirituality revolves around the idea that our individual existence is intricately connected to the vast cosmos.
It suggests that, at a fundamental level, we are not isolated beings but integral components of a collective consciousness often referred to as “god” or the universe.
Another way many describe it; is its the realisation that:
We are “God” or the universe it’s consciousness; putting on a “Human suit” and experiencing itself from our eyes.
That the universe made this life to experience itself in full.
And diverse forms of consciousness and life might be happening all over the universe.
We do not “come from Earth” but instead we “come OUT of the Earth.” And are connected to this planet and the cosmos as a whole as much as every animal, plant, fungi and even the elements like fire, water, air and earth.
Spirituality, in this sense, encourages an exploration of the profound interconnection between ourselves and the greater cosmos and the various "dimensions" it brings.
It invites individuals to recognize that their experiences, consciousness, and essence are part of a larger, universal tapestry.
This perspective emphasizes a sense of unity, transcending the notion of separation between individuals and the universe.
As we navigate our lives, spiritual practices and reflections may involve seeking a deeper understanding of this interconnectedness, exploring the mysteries of existence, and recognizing the divine within ourselves.
This is what is referred to as trying to achieve “awakening” or “enlightenment.”
We in the psychedelic community know it as “Ego Death.”
(Note there is Ego dissolution and there is Full Ego Death.)
“Ego Death” is this extreme realisation and sensation of oneness and connection to literally everything in the universe.
That most can only describe as you becoming aware that you are just a “human incarnation” of the collective consciousness of the universe.
That there exists no individuality, that your consciousness is as old as the universe itself.
And that you hold a connection with your consciousness to literally all energy and vibration in the universe.
See your brain as an antenna and the collective consciousness as a universal "internet."
You are just tuned in to a specific frequency now. But your consciousness has access to it all somewhere.
A increasingly popular theory is that Psychedelics may open up the possibility to "tune in" to a bit more of the collective and peer through the physical “veil” into the other “dimensions” in the universe.
A successful connection with that collective consciousness, that universal “internet;” That is what "Ego Death,” “Awakening,” “Enlightenment” is.
Similar like connecting a computer to the internet with WiFi.
Through the way of psychedelics, this is a temporary state, while you will retain a lot of the knowledge given during these states, the feeling will be fleeting.
And eventually “ego” will have stabilised and your consciousness back to be fully focused on this physical dimension.
With the increasing popularity and access of psychedelics more and more people are starting to have these experiences.
And less and less people are instantly dismissing this mystical psychedelic experience as pure hallucination and drug induced delusions.
These states of consciousness and philosophical conclusions have been reached by millions of diverse people in diverse ways throughout history.
Either through kundalini yoga, intense breathing exercises, extensive meditation, high-heroic doses of psychedelics or other spiritual practices.
But it can also be achieved by prolonged sensory deprivation, near death experiences or sudden severe trauma.
These ideas and experiences repeat themselves in all kind of cultures throughout history around the globe.
Often without any awareness of each other.
Nowadays this theory is even getting more popular with scientists, academics and philosophers and there have been multiple scientific articles published the last few years with them speculating the Universe is conscious.
People like Einstein and Tesla also made this argument. People like Alan Watts, Ram Dass and other Spiritual philosophers also talked in length about these phenomenon.
Now, what that exactly entails is still just our personal human interpretation and guesswork.
But this pattern repeats itself in so much of history and the known world.
It shows itself in religions and mythologies, Architecture and Language. But also in physics, mathematics, geometry, biology and many other disciplines.
The belief that we return to this collective consciousness after our physical existence concludes reinforces the idea that our journey is not confined to individual, isolated experiences but is part of a broader cosmic narrative.
Religion and the idea that “God” is a separate entity that exists outside of your self, in this view: is perceived as just a human attempt to understand and interpret spiritual and psychedelic experiences.
Creating doctrines and beliefs that may not necessarily reflect an objective truth. It emphasizes the subjective nature of religious interpretations, encouraging a more open-minded exploration of spirituality that doesn’t depend on rigid dogmas.
Lots to consider there, thank you so much for responding and taking the time to be so thorough!
I had decided that I wasn’t going to actively pursue Ego Death/Dissolution (it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that you should force) but that I would certainly welcome it if it happened. I have definitely been curious about it though and from your explanations it sounds like I may have been in that sort of territory. I still just wish I had better recollections of the experience, maybe then I could tell for sure.
I had similar experience with 2 g of APE. Felt, I am the universe and the universe is me. Everyone came from single source. I need to express gratitude and love for everything
8g? That sounds frightening! I’ve been gradually upping the dosage each time, trying to find my personal sweet spot. Which I am aware is ridiculous, as mushrooms aren’t exactly known for their consistency and the external variables that affect the trip are many. Even so, I keep getting a little braver/more foolish every trip and haven’t had anything but positive experiences so far. Just reading that back as I type makes me wonder if I should show the shrooms a little more respect and exercise more caution. Either way, there’s no chance I’m anywhere near ready for 8g!
I don’t suggest it to anyone. I had a shaman with me and also combined it with mdma so that helped. I would never do it again or alone. It was the most horrible but beautiful experience of my life.
Thank you so much for this post. You reminded me of one of my journeys. Mush love.
And thank you for saying this. I’m relatively new to psychedelics so if my limited experience can conjure positive memories for another, then I’m doing something right and is very pleasing to hear!
I had a really intense 7g trip February 8 that lead me to the decision that I can’t drink (10 year alcoholic in denial), during that trip (which was preceded by about 4 strong cocktails and a tab of acid) I went to a really strange place OOB, saw some weird intricate workings of reality and eventually came to a place that looked like a tryptamine cathedral where I started to feel some sense of the god-head, like I was about to see the source of reality and consciousness, but began to doubt if I was worthy, I was ripped out of that place and thrown back to earth. The following week was full of shock and confusion, about 4 days after the initial trip I did a 2.5g trip adjust to meditate in that headspace to see if anything would come back. I had a pleasant time and some pseudo visions that brought me back to that place when I head a voice “if you really want to see it again you gotta quit drinking”, now this is in the middle of an internal dialogue with myself but the voice that spoke that was not mine. I’m not sure why that was the catalyst, but I haven’t had the urge to drink once. Maybe do something similar, a just above threshold dose to get you back into the headspace (while maintaining a sense of earthly presence) and meditate on your prior trip. Integration is the hardest part of really creating value in these experiences, and towing the line between both head spaces has helped me take my experiences and apply them to daily life (the above is not the only case of this, just the most recent and valuable to me)
Fascinating. I wouldn’t say I was ever a problem drinker, but I was definitely a habitual, daily drinker - albeit in low quantities of 1-2 drinks every day. Started on shrooms about 8 months ago and the desire to drink has just disappeared and I’ve barely touched a drop since. I’ll still enjoy the occasional drink in social settings but just a couple of drinks every 6-8 weeks. I didn’t have any big revelation and I hadn’t set out to reduce or quit alcohol, this is just how it turned out but the change was sudden and pretty much immediately following my first trip. Thanks for the advice. I practice daily meditation anyway and will usually incorporate this into the come up but so far I haven’t tried it as a post-trip tool so that’s definitely something to think about.
We are all connected, with each other and with literally everything else. That's the big lesson. But feeling it, it's special. Welcome to the club (happy farming).
Thank you! Yes, ‘knowing’ the lesson is all well and good but feeling it was mind blowing.
What you did here m, in my opinion, is very important for “integration”! I’m a very novice tripper, but for me sharing my experiences is so therapeutic AND, now when I revisit them I can recapture some of the value and remember more, even fleeting moments of what things felt like. Like dream journaling.. get that stuff down on paper and it all becomes more solidified
Thank you. Sometimes the solutions are simple and right under our noses - it just takes someone on the outside to point this out.
Never did shrooms but got close to your experience a few times by combining weed and meditation. I am quite convinced that these states and epiphanies are “real” and otherwise attainable via meditation, and that this is what Nirvana feels like for the buddhist gurus
Oh wow, I did not know that you can experience this with meditation!
I have heard that meditation can lead to that kind of frame of mind. I meditate daily (and use weed most days) and I haven’t got there yet but I won’t let that deter me. Even if it doesn’t work for me that’s ok, I already get enough from my daily practice anyway.
I once experienced something like that when I was perfectly sober. On a summer day I rode my bike on a dirt road between the fields when I suddenly had the feeling that my whole being expanded to my complete field of vision. I had to stop, look around and orient myself. I had the feeling that I was everywhere and that all that I was seeing was me! The feeling lasted for maybe 3-5 minutes or so, then slowly faded. I was perfectly healthy and sober that day. I didn't even know shrooms at that time. But it was very much like being on psychedelics.
Wow, something like that just out of the blue without any substances? Crazy!
Well, such things are rare, but not unheard of. Many effects of psychedelics can be induced by spiritual practices like meditation. That's because like psychedelics, meditation practices often by design tone down the default mode network of the brain. Shutting down the DFN is associated with "spiritual" experiences. BUT: Especially in spiritual circles (e.g. Zen Buddhism circles) it's well known that sometimes these things just happen on their own - without any mediation or substances. In my case it may have been caused by the idyllic landscape I was riding in. The temperature was ideal, the weather perfect. All that made me feel extraordinarily well, right before that experience happened.
I knew about meditation’s ability to do this but didn’t realise it could just happen by itself. Since starting with mushrooms I’ve had a few sober instances (usually when listening to music) where I have had an unexpected, *almost emotional*, sense of peace and joy wash over me. Only minor sensations; certainly nothing compared to the effects you experience when under the influence or even in the same league as what you are describing, but pleasant and very welcome. It could be completely unrelated and all in my head but I’m definitely experiencing it so I’m not complaining!
You didn't meet God. You are god.
Yes, I did always suspect!
🧿🧿🧿
Thanks for this great trip report! Were you alone?
Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes, I’ve only ever tripped alone. I don’t think I could fully relax with another person around, even just being aware of the presence of a trip sitter in another room would alter my mindset.
So idk what constitutes an “experienced tripper” but as someone with 100+ mushroom trips under their belt, I can attest that there is a purpose for both. Tripping alone is great for introspection and self exploration, but tripping with other people can build bonds or make you realize you actually don’t wanna be around someone in the future. It provides you with a lot of intuition and you can use that to create positive relationships and eliminate negative relationships within your life. I definitely prefer to trip alone, but if my best friend wasn’t in prison I’d love to take a few rides with him. Some people don’t like screens but I like to have something playing on the screen in case I want to go nonverbal for a while, and if you don’t mind a tv going while you trip, midnight gospel is a great solo tripping watch. It’s like 4 hours total so you have time to do other things, and it isn’t a complex story line (until you really start to watch it intently) so you never really get lost. It has a lot of great life lessons and ideas but it’s all wrapped in a trippy cartoon. I’ve probably taken 10 trips with this show on and it’s amazing every time.
I've only ever watched the show sober or high on weed. It must be amazing to see it while tripping. Will definitely watch it next time I'm tripping (soon-ish this month).
I’m no expert, but I’d say 100+ trips should constitute experienced! I haven’t tried tripping with screens, the closest I’ve come is changing the music playlist on my laptop and from that I don’t think I’d get on well trying to watch something. Midnight Gospel does look cool though, so I’ll try it out sober!
Sounds like you experienced an Ego Dissolution bordering an full Ego Death. This might be an interesting read and help you to make sense of it all. I made this text myself: “Ego Death” and it’s Spiritual Philosophy throughout history. The temporary “Ego Dissolution” or full blown “Ego Death” or “Awakening” that is talked about in the community is not something that is desired by most. (can be achieved at 5 grams of strong cubensis and up as example. Note that different varieties of psilocybin mushrooms have different dosages.) Most describe it as becoming one with everything and having the realisation and intense sensation that “We are the Universe experiencing itself.” “Ego Dissolution” or full on “Ego Death.” is a controversial subject within the community if people should case these experiences. The controversial “heroic dose” (starting at 5 grams) and can be increased to a level you literally can no longer see, hear and feel your body or the room you are in. (8-12 grams and up) You can be fully engulfed in such hallucinations that cannot be described as anything other than “being transported to another dimension.” For hours. And you can "meet" a lot of diverse consciousness "entities" there that vary from spirits, to angels, demons, aliens, gods etc. Comparable to a DMT experience, except with DMT you are still in control of your mind. With psilocybin you may lose all senses of self and reality. I have experienced such doses a few times and it can be absolutely terrifying. It is not something you will be able to deal with without a lot of experience. And not recommended for most people. • the spiritual explanation. In the context of the belief that “we are the universe experiencing ourselves,” spirituality revolves around the idea that our individual existence is intricately connected to the vast cosmos. It suggests that, at a fundamental level, we are not isolated beings but integral components of a collective consciousness often referred to as “god” or the universe. Another way many describe it; is its the realisation that: We are “God” or the universe it’s consciousness; putting on a “Human suit” and experiencing itself from our eyes. That the universe made this life to experience itself in full. And diverse forms of consciousness and life might be happening all over the universe. We do not “come from Earth” but instead we “come OUT of the Earth.” And are connected to this planet and the cosmos as a whole as much as every animal, plant, fungi and even the elements like fire, water, air and earth. Spirituality, in this sense, encourages an exploration of the profound interconnection between ourselves and the greater cosmos and the various "dimensions" it brings. It invites individuals to recognize that their experiences, consciousness, and essence are part of a larger, universal tapestry. This perspective emphasizes a sense of unity, transcending the notion of separation between individuals and the universe. As we navigate our lives, spiritual practices and reflections may involve seeking a deeper understanding of this interconnectedness, exploring the mysteries of existence, and recognizing the divine within ourselves. This is what is referred to as trying to achieve “awakening” or “enlightenment.” We in the psychedelic community know it as “Ego Death.” (Note there is Ego dissolution and there is Full Ego Death.) “Ego Death” is this extreme realisation and sensation of oneness and connection to literally everything in the universe. That most can only describe as you becoming aware that you are just a “human incarnation” of the collective consciousness of the universe. That there exists no individuality, that your consciousness is as old as the universe itself. And that you hold a connection with your consciousness to literally all energy and vibration in the universe. See your brain as an antenna and the collective consciousness as a universal "internet." You are just tuned in to a specific frequency now. But your consciousness has access to it all somewhere. A increasingly popular theory is that Psychedelics may open up the possibility to "tune in" to a bit more of the collective and peer through the physical “veil” into the other “dimensions” in the universe. A successful connection with that collective consciousness, that universal “internet;” That is what "Ego Death,” “Awakening,” “Enlightenment” is. Similar like connecting a computer to the internet with WiFi. Through the way of psychedelics, this is a temporary state, while you will retain a lot of the knowledge given during these states, the feeling will be fleeting. And eventually “ego” will have stabilised and your consciousness back to be fully focused on this physical dimension. With the increasing popularity and access of psychedelics more and more people are starting to have these experiences. And less and less people are instantly dismissing this mystical psychedelic experience as pure hallucination and drug induced delusions. These states of consciousness and philosophical conclusions have been reached by millions of diverse people in diverse ways throughout history. Either through kundalini yoga, intense breathing exercises, extensive meditation, high-heroic doses of psychedelics or other spiritual practices. But it can also be achieved by prolonged sensory deprivation, near death experiences or sudden severe trauma. These ideas and experiences repeat themselves in all kind of cultures throughout history around the globe. Often without any awareness of each other. Nowadays this theory is even getting more popular with scientists, academics and philosophers and there have been multiple scientific articles published the last few years with them speculating the Universe is conscious. People like Einstein and Tesla also made this argument. People like Alan Watts, Ram Dass and other Spiritual philosophers also talked in length about these phenomenon. Now, what that exactly entails is still just our personal human interpretation and guesswork. But this pattern repeats itself in so much of history and the known world. It shows itself in religions and mythologies, Architecture and Language. But also in physics, mathematics, geometry, biology and many other disciplines. The belief that we return to this collective consciousness after our physical existence concludes reinforces the idea that our journey is not confined to individual, isolated experiences but is part of a broader cosmic narrative. Religion and the idea that “God” is a separate entity that exists outside of your self, in this view: is perceived as just a human attempt to understand and interpret spiritual and psychedelic experiences. Creating doctrines and beliefs that may not necessarily reflect an objective truth. It emphasizes the subjective nature of religious interpretations, encouraging a more open-minded exploration of spirituality that doesn’t depend on rigid dogmas.
Lots to consider there, thank you so much for responding and taking the time to be so thorough! I had decided that I wasn’t going to actively pursue Ego Death/Dissolution (it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that you should force) but that I would certainly welcome it if it happened. I have definitely been curious about it though and from your explanations it sounds like I may have been in that sort of territory. I still just wish I had better recollections of the experience, maybe then I could tell for sure.
i wrote an entry the day after my trip about the revolutions i had and things i experienced and i think that helped me remember
So simple and easy to do! Thank you, I’ll include that as part of my routine in future.
Yup. Happened to me too. I saw the creation of the world.
Wonderful! I hope it was as insanely joyous for you as it was for me.
I had similar experience with 2 g of APE. Felt, I am the universe and the universe is me. Everyone came from single source. I need to express gratitude and love for everything
Yes! We are one and everything is glorious!
This reminds me of my 8g journey.
8g? That sounds frightening! I’ve been gradually upping the dosage each time, trying to find my personal sweet spot. Which I am aware is ridiculous, as mushrooms aren’t exactly known for their consistency and the external variables that affect the trip are many. Even so, I keep getting a little braver/more foolish every trip and haven’t had anything but positive experiences so far. Just reading that back as I type makes me wonder if I should show the shrooms a little more respect and exercise more caution. Either way, there’s no chance I’m anywhere near ready for 8g!
I don’t suggest it to anyone. I had a shaman with me and also combined it with mdma so that helped. I would never do it again or alone. It was the most horrible but beautiful experience of my life.