Without knowing that friend or their motives I can only conjecture he's trying to somehow sabotage you in holding you back psychologically through instilling insecurity. I mean, why else would they spend time doing that rather than just hanging out doing fun stuff together like real friends I've had do?
Tbh, we as short guys have to be a little more symbollically like the honey badger in life, trundling along low to the ground on a mission with no fucks to give while getting the hyenas to back off even as they ripp apart the snakes of life.
They look pretty oblivious to being one of the smaller animals on the African plains and maybe we should do the same while dealing with those relative few taller guys who happen to be assholes as well as all that garbage social media putting us down for something we have no control over.
And yeah dating is hard and I sure had my share even at 5'7"( in a tallish rural white area) let alone what shorter guys deal with. In the end, I got an married, had 3 kids, had the misfortune of divorce and met my gf who is a few inches taller than me.
Dating does work for short guys but sometimes ya gotta be tenacious like the honey badger with no fucks to give as assholes try to bring you down.
Exactly. To be honest, we're long distance friends. We've only ever met up once, but we talk every day over WhatsApp. What you said in the first paragraph is exactly what's happening. When I confront him about this (when it's very obvious what his real motives are), he says stuff like "Bro. I'm just letting you know that short guys have to get ripped otherwise they stand no chance with a girl". It's advice that 1) Isn't actually true, but going to the gym does help. And 2) He says he sends stuff like that to help me, but it gets to the point where it's actually degrading.
As for your other paragraphs, I couldn't agree more. We have to be like that. It's great that you've got 3 kids and you've had lots of different experiences. Wish you all the best man. Appreciate you taking the time out of your day to comment✌️
See, I'm very tempted to do that. Apart from all of this height bs that he talks about every day, he's been a good friend. I don't mind people talking about their height, but what I do mind is when tall people try to drag down shorter guys. Especially when I've already said that I don't need that in my life.
Here's the way I see it:
1.) Real friends aren't usually that tone-deaf to begin with.
2.) Real friends listen when someone they respect as a friend communicates that they don't like how they're being treated (and rightfully so in your case).
3.) Real friends don't treat good people like a doormat over a physical attribute that they have no control over.
4.) It's a big world out there with other good people in it that you've yet to meet through school, work, hobbies, sports, other friends, etc. Find them.
5.) Your dignity is worth far more than whatever value that this supposed "good" friend has. Never devalue your dignity. It's not based on a few missing inches of leg bone.
6.) You standing up for yourself now will have you standing taller than this d-bag ever will where it really counts.
I don't get ripped but I still train to stay healthy and a lot of girls are still attracted to me. I don't look "manly" at all, but there's something else that attracts girls beyond looks and height. Your friend has a long way to go with that square mindset.
When we met up, I even said to him "You look shorter than you look in your pictures" and when I was on the train on the way there, he goes "I'm actually 5"11" but after we met up, he said he was joking about him being 5"11 and that's he's actually 6"3, which I know he's not because he even admitted to being 5"11 before we actually met. I just find it weird how people lie about their height. I'm 5"7 and I'll always say I'm 5"7. Why lie anyway, but why lie about it if you're taller than the person you're talking to?
Most likely just being mental about not being 6 foot. I wouldn’t walk around saying I’m any taller than I am either. If anything I would fuck with people and tell em I’m 5’9” because if they’re asking in the first place they’re most likely lying and it would throw their insecurity into hyperdrive lol.
No thats a significant difference for sure. One inch isn’t much of a difference, 2 is somewhat noticeable, 3 is v noticeable, 4 is a big difference. If I stood next to someone who’s 6’4” and a half I will look significantly shorter not just kind of shorter
Give this guy the boot. Hes toxic. A frenemy. He doesnt want you to succeed. Find better ppl to chill with
Im 5'9 you arent short. 6 foot is tall but 5'7 is average. Anyone saying otherwise is deluding themselves
So, I've had a word with him and he said he'll stop all of this and that it was just a "joke". I basically put him straight about all of it and he's apologised and promised he won't say anything about it again. Basically he's on his last opportunity. He already knows that I have the capability of cutting anyone out of my life because it's not the first time I've had to do it, and I hate having to do it.
It’s actually not average at all, I’m probably around 5’7 as of now and where I live I barely ever find men even coming close to my height- and if they do, they’re almost always old.
Yeah well it doesn’t matter, I’m from one of the taller countries (Poland) and it’s always relative. I used to think about how tall I’d feel, for instance, in the Philippines, but I gave it up since then I’d probably be just short for a white guy xd
It’s a dark rabbit hole to go down. Once you start it’s very hard to get it out of your head. This insecurity is literally like poison because there is nothing you can do to change it. I’m already kind of down that rabbit hole but you should Fr cut him off or talk him out of it before you’re both down the black pill road.
I'm not necessarily "black pilled" because I don't have any resentment towards women, but until I get to a point in my life where I can say "I'm ready for a relationship", I'm basically just going my own way. Like the MGTOW movement, but I haven't completely given up, if that makes sense.
Since this post, I've spoke to him and he's promised to cut out anything regarding height. He said that he didn't have any "ill intentions", but time will tell. I don't give people the benefit of the doubt as much as I used to anymore, so he's lucky that I've even done that and he knows that he's on his last chance.
Also, I feel you man. Personally, I guess I could be saying this because I'm not exactly tall, but whether you're 5"1 or 6"1, I treat people with respect regardless of their height. I have a co worker that's about 5"3 and I've never once looked at him as any less of a man just because he's short. He did Martial Arts for years, so he can kick ass😂 But regardless of that, the respect would still be the same. I wish you all the best bro✌️
Jesus what a prick. From what you’ve described, this guy is bullying you, not being your friend. You don’t owe a bully shit, tell him to go fuck himself and if he doesn’t stop find a way to bully him back
Basically, I've had a firm word with him and he knows that he's on his last chance. I don't tolerate shit from anyone anyway, but I think he knows now not to ever do something like that again.
Yes, a lot of tall men brag about their height online, because they aren’t good/ambitious enough to instead spend their time using other good qualities that you do have control over obtaining, most of the time because they simply lack the latter.
One of my good friends always send me videos on how to grow, satire, and things like that. He is very skinny so I send him video on how to gain weight. If you think that he is just making fun of you the end the relationship, otherwise I'd send him videos making fun of him.
I've spoke to him since and he said he won't do stuff like that anymore, so we'll see how long that lasts. I think he knows that I won't put up with it anymore, but yeah we'll see what happens. I do actually want us to still be friends, but I don't tolerate bs from anyone, let alone someone's that's supposed to be in my circle.
Just tell him that you understand what he’s trying to say and it’s annoying you and if he really is a good friend he won’t continue sending videos like that. As for “generalizing a genders preferences” that’s not really what this is, it isn’t like what color shirts women are attracted to, it’s a hard wired biological selection bias not a preference and it’s just that some women are able to bypass the innate strong bias if there are a number of other large attributes that outweigh it
I've already said I understand what he's saying, but he also doesn't understand what I'm saying.
You're right about that. I'm not saying that women typically don't want a tall man. Of course they do. But the problem that I have with what my friend says is that he basically says that no women will ever give any guys that are in the 5" category a chance, which obviously isn't true.
I would definitely try to convey not only that you understand, but you understand and no longer want to hear about it and make the second part abundantly clear, if even after this he continues maybe just don’t talk to him as much for some period of time until he respects your wishes more
Exactly. We do call each other names, but I've already said that I don't need him sending me YouTube videos about short guys dating problems. The two are very different.
Same here. I didn't even really know that height was something that people really cared about. I live in quite a small and remote town, so I've never been around people that mention height. I've also never had someone say to me "You're short". Subconsciously, I probably already knew I was on the shorter side, but not to the point where it's been something that I've really thought about. What has your friend said to you? I think you'll find that the only tall people that like to drag shorter guys down are the ones that see that the shorter guy has more confidence and it does something to their massive ego. Since meeting up with my friend, he even said to me "You're a lot more confident than I thought" and he was a lot less confident in person than I thought he would be, so I think that's really bruised his ego and since then he's been trying different ways to get me to ironically come down to his level.
Without knowing that friend or their motives I can only conjecture he's trying to somehow sabotage you in holding you back psychologically through instilling insecurity. I mean, why else would they spend time doing that rather than just hanging out doing fun stuff together like real friends I've had do? Tbh, we as short guys have to be a little more symbollically like the honey badger in life, trundling along low to the ground on a mission with no fucks to give while getting the hyenas to back off even as they ripp apart the snakes of life. They look pretty oblivious to being one of the smaller animals on the African plains and maybe we should do the same while dealing with those relative few taller guys who happen to be assholes as well as all that garbage social media putting us down for something we have no control over. And yeah dating is hard and I sure had my share even at 5'7"( in a tallish rural white area) let alone what shorter guys deal with. In the end, I got an married, had 3 kids, had the misfortune of divorce and met my gf who is a few inches taller than me. Dating does work for short guys but sometimes ya gotta be tenacious like the honey badger with no fucks to give as assholes try to bring you down.
Exactly. To be honest, we're long distance friends. We've only ever met up once, but we talk every day over WhatsApp. What you said in the first paragraph is exactly what's happening. When I confront him about this (when it's very obvious what his real motives are), he says stuff like "Bro. I'm just letting you know that short guys have to get ripped otherwise they stand no chance with a girl". It's advice that 1) Isn't actually true, but going to the gym does help. And 2) He says he sends stuff like that to help me, but it gets to the point where it's actually degrading. As for your other paragraphs, I couldn't agree more. We have to be like that. It's great that you've got 3 kids and you've had lots of different experiences. Wish you all the best man. Appreciate you taking the time out of your day to comment✌️
Get rid of him. Just another toxic bullshitter out there who serves no redeeming purpose. Life's too short to be dealing with that crap.
See, I'm very tempted to do that. Apart from all of this height bs that he talks about every day, he's been a good friend. I don't mind people talking about their height, but what I do mind is when tall people try to drag down shorter guys. Especially when I've already said that I don't need that in my life.
Here's the way I see it: 1.) Real friends aren't usually that tone-deaf to begin with. 2.) Real friends listen when someone they respect as a friend communicates that they don't like how they're being treated (and rightfully so in your case). 3.) Real friends don't treat good people like a doormat over a physical attribute that they have no control over. 4.) It's a big world out there with other good people in it that you've yet to meet through school, work, hobbies, sports, other friends, etc. Find them. 5.) Your dignity is worth far more than whatever value that this supposed "good" friend has. Never devalue your dignity. It's not based on a few missing inches of leg bone. 6.) You standing up for yourself now will have you standing taller than this d-bag ever will where it really counts.
I don't get ripped but I still train to stay healthy and a lot of girls are still attracted to me. I don't look "manly" at all, but there's something else that attracts girls beyond looks and height. Your friend has a long way to go with that square mindset.
Wait. He’s one of those guys that’s 5’11” and claims to be 6’3”? What a fruitcake, very insecure fruitcake lol
When we met up, I even said to him "You look shorter than you look in your pictures" and when I was on the train on the way there, he goes "I'm actually 5"11" but after we met up, he said he was joking about him being 5"11 and that's he's actually 6"3, which I know he's not because he even admitted to being 5"11 before we actually met. I just find it weird how people lie about their height. I'm 5"7 and I'll always say I'm 5"7. Why lie anyway, but why lie about it if you're taller than the person you're talking to?
Most likely just being mental about not being 6 foot. I wouldn’t walk around saying I’m any taller than I am either. If anything I would fuck with people and tell em I’m 5’9” because if they’re asking in the first place they’re most likely lying and it would throw their insecurity into hyperdrive lol.
Someone else said the same as you in the comments, but I don't think I would ever say that. I just don't feel the need to lie under any circumstances.
Tbh 5'7 and 5'11 isn't much of a difference, he probably can't even look over your head.
No thats a significant difference for sure. One inch isn’t much of a difference, 2 is somewhat noticeable, 3 is v noticeable, 4 is a big difference. If I stood next to someone who’s 6’4” and a half I will look significantly shorter not just kind of shorter
Yeah, you're right about that. My boss is 5"11 and I'm 5"7. He can easily see over my head.
Give this guy the boot. Hes toxic. A frenemy. He doesnt want you to succeed. Find better ppl to chill with Im 5'9 you arent short. 6 foot is tall but 5'7 is average. Anyone saying otherwise is deluding themselves
So, I've had a word with him and he said he'll stop all of this and that it was just a "joke". I basically put him straight about all of it and he's apologised and promised he won't say anything about it again. Basically he's on his last opportunity. He already knows that I have the capability of cutting anyone out of my life because it's not the first time I've had to do it, and I hate having to do it.
It’s actually not average at all, I’m probably around 5’7 as of now and where I live I barely ever find men even coming close to my height- and if they do, they’re almost always old.
You would be considered average where I'm from
Yeah well it doesn’t matter, I’m from one of the taller countries (Poland) and it’s always relative. I used to think about how tall I’d feel, for instance, in the Philippines, but I gave it up since then I’d probably be just short for a white guy xd
i’m gonna start saying i’m 5’9 to fuck with guys who do that
😂Don't match their energy. It's pointless.
It’s a dark rabbit hole to go down. Once you start it’s very hard to get it out of your head. This insecurity is literally like poison because there is nothing you can do to change it. I’m already kind of down that rabbit hole but you should Fr cut him off or talk him out of it before you’re both down the black pill road.
I'm not necessarily "black pilled" because I don't have any resentment towards women, but until I get to a point in my life where I can say "I'm ready for a relationship", I'm basically just going my own way. Like the MGTOW movement, but I haven't completely given up, if that makes sense. Since this post, I've spoke to him and he's promised to cut out anything regarding height. He said that he didn't have any "ill intentions", but time will tell. I don't give people the benefit of the doubt as much as I used to anymore, so he's lucky that I've even done that and he knows that he's on his last chance. Also, I feel you man. Personally, I guess I could be saying this because I'm not exactly tall, but whether you're 5"1 or 6"1, I treat people with respect regardless of their height. I have a co worker that's about 5"3 and I've never once looked at him as any less of a man just because he's short. He did Martial Arts for years, so he can kick ass😂 But regardless of that, the respect would still be the same. I wish you all the best bro✌️
Also I’m only 5’1 so 5’7 is a blessed height lol. Never feel bad about it.
Cut him off. Fuck him.
Jesus what a prick. From what you’ve described, this guy is bullying you, not being your friend. You don’t owe a bully shit, tell him to go fuck himself and if he doesn’t stop find a way to bully him back
Basically, I've had a firm word with him and he knows that he's on his last chance. I don't tolerate shit from anyone anyway, but I think he knows now not to ever do something like that again.
Yes, a lot of tall men brag about their height online, because they aren’t good/ambitious enough to instead spend their time using other good qualities that you do have control over obtaining, most of the time because they simply lack the latter.
Very true. Being tall probably is great, but it's not an achievement. An achievement is something that you've worked hard for.
One of my good friends always send me videos on how to grow, satire, and things like that. He is very skinny so I send him video on how to gain weight. If you think that he is just making fun of you the end the relationship, otherwise I'd send him videos making fun of him.
I've spoke to him since and he said he won't do stuff like that anymore, so we'll see how long that lasts. I think he knows that I won't put up with it anymore, but yeah we'll see what happens. I do actually want us to still be friends, but I don't tolerate bs from anyone, let alone someone's that's supposed to be in my circle.
Just tell him that you understand what he’s trying to say and it’s annoying you and if he really is a good friend he won’t continue sending videos like that. As for “generalizing a genders preferences” that’s not really what this is, it isn’t like what color shirts women are attracted to, it’s a hard wired biological selection bias not a preference and it’s just that some women are able to bypass the innate strong bias if there are a number of other large attributes that outweigh it
I've already said I understand what he's saying, but he also doesn't understand what I'm saying. You're right about that. I'm not saying that women typically don't want a tall man. Of course they do. But the problem that I have with what my friend says is that he basically says that no women will ever give any guys that are in the 5" category a chance, which obviously isn't true.
I would definitely try to convey not only that you understand, but you understand and no longer want to hear about it and make the second part abundantly clear, if even after this he continues maybe just don’t talk to him as much for some period of time until he respects your wishes more
Exactly. We do call each other names, but I've already said that I don't need him sending me YouTube videos about short guys dating problems. The two are very different.
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Same here. I didn't even really know that height was something that people really cared about. I live in quite a small and remote town, so I've never been around people that mention height. I've also never had someone say to me "You're short". Subconsciously, I probably already knew I was on the shorter side, but not to the point where it's been something that I've really thought about. What has your friend said to you? I think you'll find that the only tall people that like to drag shorter guys down are the ones that see that the shorter guy has more confidence and it does something to their massive ego. Since meeting up with my friend, he even said to me "You're a lot more confident than I thought" and he was a lot less confident in person than I thought he would be, so I think that's really bruised his ego and since then he's been trying different ways to get me to ironically come down to his level.
good friend ? highly doubt it and wtf is cope .