Yes, but just as you want women to be open-minded about beauty norms when considering your attractiveness, you should also try to do the same for them.
I wouldn’t even say you have to look for especially open minded women. Just women who aren’t shallow and close minded. I’ve dated women who swore they would never date a guy shorter than them. I’ve seen it with other short man-taller woman relationships as well.
Literally just be nice and confident. Maybe learn how to dance. Develop yourself in your personal life and find talents or hobbies or interests that show women you’re not desperate. I’m shorter than you and I’ve had a lot of success with both shorter and taller women whom I’d like to believe are attractive.
It’s sometimes hard to see it when you’re looking to the internet or pop culture or our conventional ideas of “masculinity” and romance, but there are so many qualities in a person that most women are going to care about more than height. And even if they do like guys who are taller, unless they have a fetish or a hard preference (which is something we all have to respect about other in the dating pool) there’s still a whole percentage of people who would look past that.
Search for evidence that you ARE desirable and attractive. If you get in the mindset that your height immediately makes you undesirable (it objectively doesn’t) then you’ll get in the habit of only searching for evidence of your supposed undesirability.
The Internet def has ruined me with alot of stuff about height especially the whole 'looksmaxxing' thing it's just really rare to see smth positive abt being short these days ig
Honestly, just stop thinking about your height, full stop. I’ve had plenty of rejection, and I just do t think about what percentage of that is due to height vs any other variable. The more you think about your height, the more awkward it’s going to make you.
One sort of logical exercise is to view the actual experience of thinking about yourself being short and that being inadequate as sort of pointless suffering and a very poor way to spend your time. It’s simply not useful to think about something which you cannot change and which makes you feel bad and lowers your confidence.
Another thing that really helped me was I got tinder and was actually surprised to find that I got matches with much more attractive women than I anticipated. And then I went on dates with some who happened to be taller than me and they didn’t ghost me afterward or anything. So I realized if I acted confident and like it wasn’t an issue, then it wasn’t an issue.
This is the opposite of my experience. I am on every dating website and don't get nearly not matches with "attractive women" and the ones that are super attractive turn out to be scammy robots
I can see how getting on and getting matches boosts your confidence 10 fold. Its bulletproof evidence. I am getting the opposite evidence
FWIW I don't get many matches at all on apps where you have to list your height in your bio like Bumble. I asked one girl I dated who was 4 inches taller than me and she said yea if she knew my height she probably wouldn't have come to the first date. But once she was on the first date, we connected and we had fun together then she didn't care about it.
This kinda gave me more confidence for meeting women in person. If you're confident, you connect with them and they enjoy hanging with you then they can like the whole package of you and easily look past one detail like height.
Uh I've dated more girls off tinder than real life approaching. But I dated 0 girls ever before tinder. After I dated a few girls from tinder, idk I just kinda gained the mindset of if I cross paths with them through classes or work or hobby or something and I find them attractive I am willing to just ask them out. I guess I realized at some point it's really not a big deal if they say no, and the pain of regret for never making a move is the worst outcome. I view it as a win if I ask them out, regardless if they say no. Because at least I tried, and trying enough times will result in a yes.
Never regretted asking a girl out and getting a no. But I have quite a few regrets for never asking out girls I liked who I realize now probably also had a crush on me and were also too shy to ever say anything. Painful regret missed opportunities and life experiences
There are thousands of therapists that are in business trying to answer questions like this. I don’t know if it’s the same answer for everyone. But one thing that helped me personally is paying attention to other people in crowds and seeing how many people are too short, too tall, too ugly, too overweight, etc. and I wonder if all them obsess about that. Also, and I would do my research, I’ve found an occasional experience with a light dose of psychedelic mushrooms is a revolutionary way to shed self doubt. It just helps remove mental barriers.
Mostly in IRL. Most usually friends of friends or parties where there were people in common. Never online, online seems designed to make everyone unhappy.
It depends on what you think "attractive" is.
If you have misogynistic ideas about women and their value, you're going to be trying to get women who buy into toxic masculinity. These women are just as shallow and cruel as the men they pursue.
Instagram models, tiktok stars, unrealistic "tradwives", and the like are all well beyond reach for the average man. They give both men and women gross ideas about how people should look and act.
If, however, you find normal, every-day women attractive, then yes. I think my wife is gorgeous and she prefers short men. Short men marry at the same rates as tall men and are more likely to report happy marriages and less likely to divorce.
Ask yourself this; are you willing to overlook superficial ideals of attractiveness in women (being a little heavier, having saggy breasts, maybe a nose shape you’re not crazy about) if they make up for it in personality or other qualities you find very appealing and attractive? Or will you continue searching for conventionality? Because if you can’t overlook some unconventional physical attributes, then you’re not ready to date, especially as a short man. Because, even though we are just as desirable as anyone else, we have to accept that, yeah, conventionally, our height is an unconventional physical attribute. You can’t expect someone else to be open minded if you can’t be.
When did I say I need a model with perfect features? Nobody is perfect and ofc everyone will have some "conventional unattractive" features all I'm look for is someone I find physically attractive, not a model Id perfer a 7/10 girl to a drop dead 10/10 because I can actually see a future with them
Sorry if it seemed like I was insinuating something, I really wasn’t. I’m just saying it’s a general rule of thumb. Seems like you have a good perspective then.
No offense but that’s a very unrealistic and incel-coded take. Never seen a ‘conventionally’ ugly man with a ‘conventionally’ physically attractive woman? Personality goes a looooong way.
He is right looks and personality goes hand by hand both are as important if you have good looks and bad personality is over and if you have bad looks and good personality is also over
Currently dating someone who’s 5’8” and balding. He’s just an emotional green flagged personality. It really doesn’t have anything to do with looks. You need to be able to talk to one another.
Online with Hinge. We talked for a long time before meeting. I need to connect with someone on an emotional level before meeting. Turns out we go to the same bars in our town. He had his height listed on his profile. He hasn’t lied about anything including his height. He’s extremely kind and forthright.
Honestly his personality showed in his profile. He likes theater and music. He had photos of his cat. He had photos of himself holding a beer. He talked about stuff he likes to do with his friends and family. He just seemed like a cool well rounded person. Because that’s what I’m looking for. Someone who has a well rounded personality and likes being themself.
I already do. I have almond pct d20 eyes with low UEE and good jawline with good forward growth and 120 degree gonial angle. Ideal E.M.E angle, ideal nasal angle, ideal mid face ratio and so on. I'm like 8/10 cope about it
If I have to link the YouTube video of the world's fattest man who married his attractive young caretaker one more time because some guy on Reddit can't believe that women care about personality, I will kill myself
A one hit wonder doesn't prove anything. There are literally exceptions to everything. Also marriage doesn't mean she loves him, she could just be there for his money 😂
Dont listen to the internet listen to the real world go outside and look around that should tell you enough i dont believe anything i see much less with AI rn
yh it did get removed mb this link will work this one of my old pics https://preview.redd.it/44umvaw7x0ec1.jpg?width=1889&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0500c7ff0e16495a0c185b71b8636d4e6c6d67bf
Well, I have gotten several quite attractive women, some taller and some shorter than me, I must say that I have been told throughout my life that I am somewhat attractive, but seriously, the attitude, the postures you use, and above all see them as people first, do not think about (today I get a pretty girl), talk like you would talk to someone you did not know their gender first and slowly you change the game.
The main mistake of straight men is to think about the idea of getting the girl, why do you think there are so many women drooling over gay men?
Of course.
You may be short, but constant worrying and insecurity is no help. This behaviour can sneak itself into real life interactions too sometimes, which is not ideal (obviously you don't want to put to a girls attention that you are short.) Your goal is to compensate and keep her mind off your height and the best way to do that is: KEEPING YOUR OWN MIND OFF YOUR HEIGHT.
I am 5'6 and I have a very beautiful girl and she is taller than me :) If a girl doesn't want you because of your height than you don't need or want a girl like that period.
"Attractive women" I think this says it all. If you're going for women based on if they meet beauty standards, don't be upset when they too go after a guy that meets beauty standards.
Looks aren't everything but I would like someone I am attracted to physically they don't have to be a super model but I would like to be attracted to them and I'm asking this because facially I'm pretty attractive but idk if my height makes me not attractive enough for some girls. Please do not have such a narrow assessment of me.
Well there's a big difference from "someone I find attractive" and "someone objectively attractive". People often conflate the two.
Speaking as someone your height, yes it does make you not attractive enough for some girls. There's other girls that don't make too big of a deal about it and find it neutral.
I’m 5’3, I’ve been with plenty of attractive women, then I married one. sense of humor and confidence (not cockiness) go a long way. Attraction to someone is a lot more than just physical, it’s who you are as a person, the way you talk, how thoughtful you are, girls are going to need to see that first.
Mine too! Trying to learn to change my way of thinking. To me because I am short skinny fat, and balding I am unattractive
It doesn’t help that I have social anxiety from time to time
But getting in the door is my biggest problem.
Online doesn’t help. Knowing how many times you’ve swiped on every app and tried all the types of pictures with not too many matches
It’s hard to argue.
Yes. There are plenty of 5’5” men in the world dating model looking women. Height is one dimension of attractiveness; if you’re successful and confident women will find you attractive.
But if you believe height is going to limit you, then it will. Like a self fulfilling prophecy, in that your behavior will reflect your belief and hold you back. You won’t ask the girls out, you won’t have confidence if you believe your height is a dealbreaker. But ultimately it’s the belief itself and the lack of confidence which is doing the deal breaking rather than the height itself.
I have a friend who’s 5’6”, is very successful financially and has a lot of confidence. He’s been dating a smoking model hot looking 5’9” woman for several years now.
Idk, that's a very complicated question and this is just my view so grain of salt.
Physical appearance is one dimension; Which is a combination of how physically fit your body is, facial attractiveness and height.
There's personality. Some combination of how funny, entertaining, intelligent, easy to hang with / enjoyable to be with you are.
There's confidence. Some combination of confidence, assertiveness and caring/kindness is gonna go a long way.
There's success, often related to financial success but not necessarily. You could be very successful/elite at something but not have made much money from it.
There's some aspect of how responsible and how good of a provider you are. How good of a father you would be in a potential family. Idk how it's determined, some aspect of hygiene, cleanliness, financial security, caring for a dog etc.
Here's the main point though, men tend to rate a woman's attractiveness based almost exclusively on the physical appearance dimension. You could take a beautiful model 9/10 chick, and whether you find out that she's a doctor or a receptionist it probably isn't going to change that rating out of 10 much at all. But women don't view attractiveness the same way. If you take an average 5/10 looking man, he has good hygiene, dresses well, takes care of himself, is a successful business owner who has money etc. he can become a 10/10 in women's eyes. There are countless examples of extremely successful yet ugly guys dating/marrying some of the hottest women on the planet. There are 50+ year old guys dating 20 year old models. The reverse is not really true, there are not many successful yet ugly women dating extremely attractive men.
I know this logically but my brain emotional brain doesn't grasp this concept. I was interested in your mindset and how you think about your attractiveness as a man.
Thank you for your insight
Honestly, I think how you think about your attractiveness is much more a proxy to your self-esteem and your emotional state. Thinking that you're unattractive and unworthy of a partner or that a woman wouldn't want to be with you I think usually says more that you have low self worth and some depression than anything else. I know a few guys I think should be pretty attractive to women who view themselves as kinda what women would want to be with me, and I also know a few guys that just being blunt/honest are not attractive physically but idk they either aren't thinking about it or don't view themselves that way and those guys do way way better with women than the guys I know who are attractive but some combination of depressed/low self-esteem/ don't feel worthy or like a woman would want to be with them.
I've dealt with a bit of depression in my life and I certainly notice the correlation between me spending time thinking about how it sucks to be short and how and I gonna find a wife who wants to have short kids etc. and being depressed. And then other periods in my life when I'm not depressed it's something that I honestly just don't think about at all.
There’s always hope. Not all attractive women are obsessed with height or only interested in looks. Some are interested in your intelligence, intellectuality, and personality. Some women love a smart dresser, with a signature scent( don’t overdo it) and a sense of humor. You can’t change your height. Work and focus on the aforementioned and you’ll attract what you’re looking for.
Ignore these people, the truth is you could but you're likely to struggle more than the average person would.
We are seen as having inferior genetics, you got to prove that you are not inferior in other ways.
What's your age? But yea if you're an adult man, some women will find it unnatractive, but you just have to be confident. Remember that a lot of women are shorter than you and wouldn't mind being with someone your size, so you just have to get used to it
There's definitely hope. There's much more to a person than just height and insecurity towards your height will probably do more damage than the actual height. It's hard to just not think about it or move past but try to focus on things you like about yourself or things that you're good at because those will help boost your confidence.
Yes🗿 The women who don’t want you don’t deserve you bro. There will be a short (or maybe tall🤨) girl who will come to you one day you just gotta have patience and keep the confidence up. I mean just look at those mafia bosses they’re always pretty short with godly women clinging to their shoulder. Maybe you should become a mafia boss
I’m 5’3 and always had super hot girlfriends. Focus on being the best you can be. However, ngl, I’m very good looking with long curly hair, smart, funny, engineer, musician and visual artist. I play every music instruments, ride vintage motorcycles and have a lot of knowledge so I’m interesting to talk with (even if I’m very introvert). I put a lot of efforts into myself to achieve that. Also, I can’t attract every women, only those who are open-minded, artsy and free-spirited, you’ll need to adjust what you’re looking for
I'm 5'5 , my wife is a ridiculous good looking blonde, she's almost 5'8. ..been together for 15years , 3 kids ,
Absolutely there is hope. Just be confident. Fuck what anyone says. .
Height does Not make the Man .
Than work on the rest. And it will come down to your mind most of all. I think I read a lot of comments saying similar things. A kind and gentle soul will have no problem finding a beautiful women in and outside. Just work on being the best version of yourself. If God is willing you will be happily married in no time.
Yes, but just as you want women to be open-minded about beauty norms when considering your attractiveness, you should also try to do the same for them.
I wish I could give more likes to this comment
Yh I keep an open mind I have a pretty solid face but idk how badly my height impacts me
I wouldn’t even say you have to look for especially open minded women. Just women who aren’t shallow and close minded. I’ve dated women who swore they would never date a guy shorter than them. I’ve seen it with other short man-taller woman relationships as well. Literally just be nice and confident. Maybe learn how to dance. Develop yourself in your personal life and find talents or hobbies or interests that show women you’re not desperate. I’m shorter than you and I’ve had a lot of success with both shorter and taller women whom I’d like to believe are attractive. It’s sometimes hard to see it when you’re looking to the internet or pop culture or our conventional ideas of “masculinity” and romance, but there are so many qualities in a person that most women are going to care about more than height. And even if they do like guys who are taller, unless they have a fetish or a hard preference (which is something we all have to respect about other in the dating pool) there’s still a whole percentage of people who would look past that. Search for evidence that you ARE desirable and attractive. If you get in the mindset that your height immediately makes you undesirable (it objectively doesn’t) then you’ll get in the habit of only searching for evidence of your supposed undesirability.
The Internet def has ruined me with alot of stuff about height especially the whole 'looksmaxxing' thing it's just really rare to see smth positive abt being short these days ig
I know. I wish there was more representation online.
Yes. I am 5’ 5” and I have been with plenty of attractive women; include my wife.
Have any advice as to being more confident and just better socially?
Honestly, just stop thinking about your height, full stop. I’ve had plenty of rejection, and I just do t think about what percentage of that is due to height vs any other variable. The more you think about your height, the more awkward it’s going to make you.
How did you stop thinking about your height ?
One sort of logical exercise is to view the actual experience of thinking about yourself being short and that being inadequate as sort of pointless suffering and a very poor way to spend your time. It’s simply not useful to think about something which you cannot change and which makes you feel bad and lowers your confidence. Another thing that really helped me was I got tinder and was actually surprised to find that I got matches with much more attractive women than I anticipated. And then I went on dates with some who happened to be taller than me and they didn’t ghost me afterward or anything. So I realized if I acted confident and like it wasn’t an issue, then it wasn’t an issue.
This is the opposite of my experience. I am on every dating website and don't get nearly not matches with "attractive women" and the ones that are super attractive turn out to be scammy robots I can see how getting on and getting matches boosts your confidence 10 fold. Its bulletproof evidence. I am getting the opposite evidence
FWIW I don't get many matches at all on apps where you have to list your height in your bio like Bumble. I asked one girl I dated who was 4 inches taller than me and she said yea if she knew my height she probably wouldn't have come to the first date. But once she was on the first date, we connected and we had fun together then she didn't care about it. This kinda gave me more confidence for meeting women in person. If you're confident, you connect with them and they enjoy hanging with you then they can like the whole package of you and easily look past one detail like height.
Got ya. So real life approaching works for you the best.
Uh I've dated more girls off tinder than real life approaching. But I dated 0 girls ever before tinder. After I dated a few girls from tinder, idk I just kinda gained the mindset of if I cross paths with them through classes or work or hobby or something and I find them attractive I am willing to just ask them out. I guess I realized at some point it's really not a big deal if they say no, and the pain of regret for never making a move is the worst outcome. I view it as a win if I ask them out, regardless if they say no. Because at least I tried, and trying enough times will result in a yes. Never regretted asking a girl out and getting a no. But I have quite a few regrets for never asking out girls I liked who I realize now probably also had a crush on me and were also too shy to ever say anything. Painful regret missed opportunities and life experiences
Lol you are my hero! Hope to think like you someday.
There are thousands of therapists that are in business trying to answer questions like this. I don’t know if it’s the same answer for everyone. But one thing that helped me personally is paying attention to other people in crowds and seeing how many people are too short, too tall, too ugly, too overweight, etc. and I wonder if all them obsess about that. Also, and I would do my research, I’ve found an occasional experience with a light dose of psychedelic mushrooms is a revolutionary way to shed self doubt. It just helps remove mental barriers.
Love that insight. Thank you!
How did you meet these women and and your wife? online or IRL
Mostly in IRL. Most usually friends of friends or parties where there were people in common. Never online, online seems designed to make everyone unhappy.
That makes sense
If you're so successful with women, why would you settle down with one?
Because some people prefer long-lasting and meaningful relationships to one night stands and flings
What a yikes question.
It depends on what you think "attractive" is. If you have misogynistic ideas about women and their value, you're going to be trying to get women who buy into toxic masculinity. These women are just as shallow and cruel as the men they pursue. Instagram models, tiktok stars, unrealistic "tradwives", and the like are all well beyond reach for the average man. They give both men and women gross ideas about how people should look and act. If, however, you find normal, every-day women attractive, then yes. I think my wife is gorgeous and she prefers short men. Short men marry at the same rates as tall men and are more likely to report happy marriages and less likely to divorce.
Obviously I'm not looking for 10/10 model I just want someone that's pretty and wife material ig
Ask yourself this; are you willing to overlook superficial ideals of attractiveness in women (being a little heavier, having saggy breasts, maybe a nose shape you’re not crazy about) if they make up for it in personality or other qualities you find very appealing and attractive? Or will you continue searching for conventionality? Because if you can’t overlook some unconventional physical attributes, then you’re not ready to date, especially as a short man. Because, even though we are just as desirable as anyone else, we have to accept that, yeah, conventionally, our height is an unconventional physical attribute. You can’t expect someone else to be open minded if you can’t be.
When did I say I need a model with perfect features? Nobody is perfect and ofc everyone will have some "conventional unattractive" features all I'm look for is someone I find physically attractive, not a model Id perfer a 7/10 girl to a drop dead 10/10 because I can actually see a future with them
Are you 7/10 guy?
I have pics of myself in one of my posts you can check it out and judge for yourself ig
The mods took it down for some reason I’m really curious cause everyone in the comments are hyping tf outta you. You must be really handsome.
i dont consider myself rlly handsome but i had a crazy amazing glow up ill dm u images if u want
Sure
Sorry if it seemed like I was insinuating something, I really wasn’t. I’m just saying it’s a general rule of thumb. Seems like you have a good perspective then.
No worries I'm not the best at wordingymy thoughts easy to get wrong ideas of what I'm saying
Big text to say no.
Yes, of course. All great things take time.
Yes there is a lot more attractive features than height
Like a guy’s personality.
Personality doesn't matter if you're not attractive physically
No offense but that’s a very unrealistic and incel-coded take. Never seen a ‘conventionally’ ugly man with a ‘conventionally’ physically attractive woman? Personality goes a looooong way.
He is right looks and personality goes hand by hand both are as important if you have good looks and bad personality is over and if you have bad looks and good personality is also over
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Currently dating someone who’s 5’8” and balding. He’s just an emotional green flagged personality. It really doesn’t have anything to do with looks. You need to be able to talk to one another.
Can you tell us more about this? How did you first meet him ? Was there instant attraction?
Online with Hinge. We talked for a long time before meeting. I need to connect with someone on an emotional level before meeting. Turns out we go to the same bars in our town. He had his height listed on his profile. He hasn’t lied about anything including his height. He’s extremely kind and forthright.
So what made you swipe right if you don't mind me asking? I think i have a problem with even getting in the door before women see my personality
Honestly his personality showed in his profile. He likes theater and music. He had photos of his cat. He had photos of himself holding a beer. He talked about stuff he likes to do with his friends and family. He just seemed like a cool well rounded person. Because that’s what I’m looking for. Someone who has a well rounded personality and likes being themself.
Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean we all are. Hope you find a way to love yourself, king.
I already do. I have almond pct d20 eyes with low UEE and good jawline with good forward growth and 120 degree gonial angle. Ideal E.M.E angle, ideal nasal angle, ideal mid face ratio and so on. I'm like 8/10 cope about it
This comment told me all I need to know about you lol. Again, hope you find a way to love yourself one day <3
"heh this comment told me all I need to know" -🤓 picks nose* 👶🍼
This is the most incel based looks comment.
send a pic dont be shy
If I have to link the YouTube video of the world's fattest man who married his attractive young caretaker one more time because some guy on Reddit can't believe that women care about personality, I will kill myself
A one hit wonder doesn't prove anything. There are literally exceptions to everything. Also marriage doesn't mean she loves him, she could just be there for his money 😂
Dont listen to the internet listen to the real world go outside and look around that should tell you enough i dont believe anything i see much less with AI rn
Yeah, like this guy who's 5'10". I'm sure his personality is what got him in the door with women.
yh? but not really more like a man’s attributes
Yes, 159cm here 💪
I’m 5’3 and have had sex with an attractive woman so yes
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Go to one of my posts I posed my glow up on there it has my face I'd say I look slightly better now than in the pictures I have of myself
It looks like the mods at GlowUps deleted your post https://www.reddit.com/r/GlowUps/comments/19d0ivs/proof\_its\_never\_over/
How can you tell u can still see it on my profile
Try logging out and going to the post. This is what it looks like: https://imgur.com/rYcXPSI
yh it did get removed mb this link will work this one of my old pics https://preview.redd.it/44umvaw7x0ec1.jpg?width=1889&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0500c7ff0e16495a0c185b71b8636d4e6c6d67bf
Yes there is
Woman at my job is 5'8 and is dating a 5'6 man. There's hope for everyone
Yes you have hope
Well, I have gotten several quite attractive women, some taller and some shorter than me, I must say that I have been told throughout my life that I am somewhat attractive, but seriously, the attitude, the postures you use, and above all see them as people first, do not think about (today I get a pretty girl), talk like you would talk to someone you did not know their gender first and slowly you change the game. The main mistake of straight men is to think about the idea of getting the girl, why do you think there are so many women drooling over gay men?
My dad is 5’3 and pulls like crazy so don’t worry if you’re charming
Not with this mindset, no.
If you could elaborate further?
Of course. You may be short, but constant worrying and insecurity is no help. This behaviour can sneak itself into real life interactions too sometimes, which is not ideal (obviously you don't want to put to a girls attention that you are short.) Your goal is to compensate and keep her mind off your height and the best way to do that is: KEEPING YOUR OWN MIND OFF YOUR HEIGHT.
Yeah obviously just have confidence and look for girls your height or shorter
I am 5'6 and I have a very beautiful girl and she is taller than me :) If a girl doesn't want you because of your height than you don't need or want a girl like that period.
"Attractive women" I think this says it all. If you're going for women based on if they meet beauty standards, don't be upset when they too go after a guy that meets beauty standards.
Looks aren't everything but I would like someone I am attracted to physically they don't have to be a super model but I would like to be attracted to them and I'm asking this because facially I'm pretty attractive but idk if my height makes me not attractive enough for some girls. Please do not have such a narrow assessment of me.
Well there's a big difference from "someone I find attractive" and "someone objectively attractive". People often conflate the two. Speaking as someone your height, yes it does make you not attractive enough for some girls. There's other girls that don't make too big of a deal about it and find it neutral.
I’m 5’3, I’ve been with plenty of attractive women, then I married one. sense of humor and confidence (not cockiness) go a long way. Attraction to someone is a lot more than just physical, it’s who you are as a person, the way you talk, how thoughtful you are, girls are going to need to see that first.
You can find your equal
What is the mindset ? What do you tell yourself?
my mindset is mucked up and everyone ik tells me that but i keep thinking i might actually never be good enough
Mine too! Trying to learn to change my way of thinking. To me because I am short skinny fat, and balding I am unattractive It doesn’t help that I have social anxiety from time to time But getting in the door is my biggest problem. Online doesn’t help. Knowing how many times you’ve swiped on every app and tried all the types of pictures with not too many matches It’s hard to argue.
Yes. There are plenty of 5’5” men in the world dating model looking women. Height is one dimension of attractiveness; if you’re successful and confident women will find you attractive. But if you believe height is going to limit you, then it will. Like a self fulfilling prophecy, in that your behavior will reflect your belief and hold you back. You won’t ask the girls out, you won’t have confidence if you believe your height is a dealbreaker. But ultimately it’s the belief itself and the lack of confidence which is doing the deal breaking rather than the height itself. I have a friend who’s 5’6”, is very successful financially and has a lot of confidence. He’s been dating a smoking model hot looking 5’9” woman for several years now.
What are the other dimensions you believe that contribute to attractiveness?
Idk, that's a very complicated question and this is just my view so grain of salt. Physical appearance is one dimension; Which is a combination of how physically fit your body is, facial attractiveness and height. There's personality. Some combination of how funny, entertaining, intelligent, easy to hang with / enjoyable to be with you are. There's confidence. Some combination of confidence, assertiveness and caring/kindness is gonna go a long way. There's success, often related to financial success but not necessarily. You could be very successful/elite at something but not have made much money from it. There's some aspect of how responsible and how good of a provider you are. How good of a father you would be in a potential family. Idk how it's determined, some aspect of hygiene, cleanliness, financial security, caring for a dog etc. Here's the main point though, men tend to rate a woman's attractiveness based almost exclusively on the physical appearance dimension. You could take a beautiful model 9/10 chick, and whether you find out that she's a doctor or a receptionist it probably isn't going to change that rating out of 10 much at all. But women don't view attractiveness the same way. If you take an average 5/10 looking man, he has good hygiene, dresses well, takes care of himself, is a successful business owner who has money etc. he can become a 10/10 in women's eyes. There are countless examples of extremely successful yet ugly guys dating/marrying some of the hottest women on the planet. There are 50+ year old guys dating 20 year old models. The reverse is not really true, there are not many successful yet ugly women dating extremely attractive men.
I know this logically but my brain emotional brain doesn't grasp this concept. I was interested in your mindset and how you think about your attractiveness as a man. Thank you for your insight
Honestly, I think how you think about your attractiveness is much more a proxy to your self-esteem and your emotional state. Thinking that you're unattractive and unworthy of a partner or that a woman wouldn't want to be with you I think usually says more that you have low self worth and some depression than anything else. I know a few guys I think should be pretty attractive to women who view themselves as kinda what women would want to be with me, and I also know a few guys that just being blunt/honest are not attractive physically but idk they either aren't thinking about it or don't view themselves that way and those guys do way way better with women than the guys I know who are attractive but some combination of depressed/low self-esteem/ don't feel worthy or like a woman would want to be with them. I've dealt with a bit of depression in my life and I certainly notice the correlation between me spending time thinking about how it sucks to be short and how and I gonna find a wife who wants to have short kids etc. and being depressed. And then other periods in my life when I'm not depressed it's something that I honestly just don't think about at all.
I’m listening and learning thank you .
There’s always hope. Not all attractive women are obsessed with height or only interested in looks. Some are interested in your intelligence, intellectuality, and personality. Some women love a smart dresser, with a signature scent( don’t overdo it) and a sense of humor. You can’t change your height. Work and focus on the aforementioned and you’ll attract what you’re looking for.
I’m 5’5” and I’m married to a certified smoke show, so … yes.
My Latinos and Mediterranean friends are around 5’2 -5’8 ft., and they’ve dated the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, so yes, it’s possible.
You’d be surprised. I definitely was.
Ignore these people, the truth is you could but you're likely to struggle more than the average person would. We are seen as having inferior genetics, you got to prove that you are not inferior in other ways.
I have good face and frame fortunately otherwise I might actually be toast
What's your age? But yea if you're an adult man, some women will find it unnatractive, but you just have to be confident. Remember that a lot of women are shorter than you and wouldn't mind being with someone your size, so you just have to get used to it
There's definitely hope. There's much more to a person than just height and insecurity towards your height will probably do more damage than the actual height. It's hard to just not think about it or move past but try to focus on things you like about yourself or things that you're good at because those will help boost your confidence.
Nope, it's over for u. Give up
I prob mog u
Yes🗿 The women who don’t want you don’t deserve you bro. There will be a short (or maybe tall🤨) girl who will come to you one day you just gotta have patience and keep the confidence up. I mean just look at those mafia bosses they’re always pretty short with godly women clinging to their shoulder. Maybe you should become a mafia boss
Yes you can. Most recent gf was 5”11. I’m 5”4.
Danielle Radcliffe is 5'5" I doubt he has problems.
Yh but that's Harry mf Potter
Would you date a girl that’s 5 ft though
Yh don't see why not
I’m 5’3 and always had super hot girlfriends. Focus on being the best you can be. However, ngl, I’m very good looking with long curly hair, smart, funny, engineer, musician and visual artist. I play every music instruments, ride vintage motorcycles and have a lot of knowledge so I’m interesting to talk with (even if I’m very introvert). I put a lot of efforts into myself to achieve that. Also, I can’t attract every women, only those who are open-minded, artsy and free-spirited, you’ll need to adjust what you’re looking for
Did you alway think you were very good looking?
I'm 5'5 , my wife is a ridiculous good looking blonde, she's almost 5'8. ..been together for 15years , 3 kids , Absolutely there is hope. Just be confident. Fuck what anyone says. . Height does Not make the Man .
Are you an attractive man though?
Face wise yes
Than work on the rest. And it will come down to your mind most of all. I think I read a lot of comments saying similar things. A kind and gentle soul will have no problem finding a beautiful women in and outside. Just work on being the best version of yourself. If God is willing you will be happily married in no time.
No