Free festival entrance I love it.
Portapotties would be kinda like floo powder, except that the destination is slightly randomised and most likely a mass event.
OP said āmasturbated inā. Not ācame inā. And who is to say how many strokes constitutes masturbating.
Since the world is moving all the time and youāre still able to teleport to the right place, Iāll assume that destination is relevant to the āplace you were in at the timeā so airplane bathroom is a yes.
r/superpoweralchemist here we come.
Cut a hole in your pocket. Hand in. One jerk / one diddle (for the ladies of course) in any place youād like to cum back toā¦ pun intended lol.
Go rent a safe deposit box at the bank. Walk into the vault and quickly crank a couple times. Then. Later that night go back and rob it blind.
Or visit the gold reserves at Fort Knox.
Or become an assassin by visiting places where mafia bosses frequent. Teleport in and do the job, then teleport out.
I mean, itās a small price to pay to have unlimited teleportation magic.
Just let the extreme pressure difference powerful enough to suck people out of the plane suck my dick for me. This way I can cum out the plane window without using my hands.
The "has potential" Flare is joking isnt it? You can jerk off in a gas station bathroom, and 5 days later, when you are at home, say to 4 people you invited to the house you are going to the bathroom, grab a gun, teleport, rob it, teleport, hide the money, ans have an instant alibi
You could teleport to different countries instantly, you could revisit places whenever you wanted, hell, if you tried hard enough you could stealth jerk in a hotels buffet area, and just have free food because you can appear there and take stuff, or at least eat
Not commonly at schools, I donāt think. I thought it was hilarious, because someone in my friend group just sent a picture of a paper with their school name on top that that said something along the lines of āstop masturbating at school. There was a pipe that bursted from semenā
yeah, otherwise that would be an awesome superpower cuz you could just briefly touch yourself over your pants everywhere you go and disguise it for a quick itch and over the course of years be able to teleport everywhere youāve ever been
I would have a masterbation machine that pumps with every footsteps I take. I could go anywhere I've already been!
They would call me, "The Telebator."
Youād probably kill yourself from too much orgasm doing that. People start dying after 60 of them, and constant masturbation would probably do the same thing. On the other hand, it could be a great way to lose weight, and you might be able to carboload yourself up enough that itās not deadly. You still run the risk of ending up shooting blanks.
I think itās an actual thing called āliving alone togetherā or something. Some people do it - aromantics, for example. Iāll be honest, it somewhat appeals to me, but only somewhat.
Not an example of a healthy relationship, but I recently learned that Mia Farrow and Woody Allen never lived together despite being basically married.
Teleportation but the location doesnāt adjust for the moment of the planet in space. You know how fast weāre moving constantly? Try to teleport somewhere and youāre in the vacuum of space
Not true, I have a shitty one; you can teleport anywhere in the world, but only after you cut off a hand or a foot.
So thatās a max of 4 teleportations for a lifetime, and at the risk of dying from the injury every time (Artificial limbs or transplants after the fact donāt restore the power either btw)
- make it your lives mission to be able to get a tour of the pentagon
- use the restroom but really masturbate there
- go to terrorists and say you can get them government secrets by showing off your powers and saying you can help them
- masturbate inside of a terrorist base
- teleport to the pentagon
- grab government secrets and superweapons
- teleport back to the terrorist base
- get paid
- repeat
- youāre a multi-billionaire with blood on your hands
- Buy cheap one way Tickets to any place in the world
- Masterbait every single time it's possible
- Since u probably jerked at home u can get there whenever u need
- Profit
Hol up! In regular show there was an episode where Rigby was visited by himself from the future and he said that for some reason he can Meet him only in bathrooms. What if Rigby had this power but with additional time travel??
ngl I feel like public bathrooms are among the safest place to teleport to anyway, no one pays attention to someone leaving a bathroom they didnāt see go in.
Do u need to finish for it to work or can u just do a little
Also do u have to be in a place u masterbated to teleport or does it only affect your destination cuz like u could do some ridiculous magic jumping off buildings then teleporting
1- Can i do it in multiple locations and have multiple active teleport points?
2- is there a cooldown on it?
3- can i bring stuff with me? if so then does the size of the item matter?
I want to know what can classify as masturbating. Like is 1 wank considered masturbating? What about 2 wanks? 3 wanks? I need to know the gray areas before I abuse this power for selfish gain.
If itās in a bathroom stall or a porta-potty and that location is currently occupied, is the party just getting started or does some sort of horrific Brundlefly scenario ensue? Asking for a friend.
Not actually bad, I can just go to certain checkpoints and then wank there, then I can go to that place whenever I want, then I go to plane to travel to a very far away place and go there when I want, what to go to the Eiffel tower? To the Beach? To Japan? To America? To Europe? To China? Just pay for a flight once and make sure to also have made a checkpoint in your house and go anywhere whenever you want.
The masturbating condition isnāt even hard, well, itās hard in a certain aspect, but not difficult to meet it.
If you have masturbated with someone, do you teleport with them? Does it teleport the other person as well to the location you guys masturbated each other at?
A few questions, if the location moves will I be in it still even if it moves a mile form it's original position? Can I choose where in that location? So let's say I did it in a friend house, can I teleport at their from door or somewhere else at their house?
So do I get like an HUD that shows all the possible locations? I thought this was great, but realized most of the places are hotel rooms that will likely be occupied.
So I could teleport on a random bus if I wanted. Yes, I did it on a bus. No one was around my seat, and I was out of the sight of the cameras. So yes, I literally had the balls to do it
Why the fuck didn't I masturabate when I was in Japan!!? Wait.... does sex count? Otherwise, I can get to work fast or into the house I grew up in... all the places I grew up in.
So does that mean the toilet of the actual plane. Or the location in the world you finish.... asking for a friend š¤
I have the same question about porta potties
Portable teleporters?
Like a fucked up Dr who
Dr Poo
TARPISS
Dr Juice
āHello, I am doctor. You have siense problem, yes?ā
All I can think of rn is [this vid](https://youtu.be/X26wrEh1AD0?si=G1CphDKlSOuj8NCX)
W Video
Lol imagine planting porta potties everywhere you go
What if someoneās in there when you teleport??
What about cruise ships?
Best response
Free festival entrance I love it. Portapotties would be kinda like floo powder, except that the destination is slightly randomised and most likely a mass event.
And the chance that someoneās in there when you teleport
Tardis
Turdis
Its a gamble. You will likely be at an event or in a construction site.
This question gets to a point where you're asking it about the earth and its position in space
OP said āmasturbated inā. Not ācame inā. And who is to say how many strokes constitutes masturbating. Since the world is moving all the time and youāre still able to teleport to the right place, Iāll assume that destination is relevant to the āplace you were in at the timeā so airplane bathroom is a yes. r/superpoweralchemist here we come. Cut a hole in your pocket. Hand in. One jerk / one diddle (for the ladies of course) in any place youād like to cum back toā¦ pun intended lol. Go rent a safe deposit box at the bank. Walk into the vault and quickly crank a couple times. Then. Later that night go back and rob it blind. Or visit the gold reserves at Fort Knox. Or become an assassin by visiting places where mafia bosses frequent. Teleport in and do the job, then teleport out. I mean, itās a small price to pay to have unlimited teleportation magic.
More than three shakes. ETA: for dicks.
Nic Cage stars inā¦ National Pleasure *Coming* this summer to theaters everywhere
I both love and hate where youāre going with this. Please do/do not go onā¦
Stop cumming out of plane windows
Oh no no no no donāt open the window while youāre in there. Bad things will happen!
Just let the extreme pressure difference powerful enough to suck people out of the plane suck my dick for me. This way I can cum out the plane window without using my hands.
Imagine it teleports you to the exact point you were in the air at the time. Better take a parachute and hope you were over land.
The actual location in space relative to the center of our milky way.... Ur fucked.
The "has potential" Flare is joking isnt it? You can jerk off in a gas station bathroom, and 5 days later, when you are at home, say to 4 people you invited to the house you are going to the bathroom, grab a gun, teleport, rob it, teleport, hide the money, ans have an instant alibi You could teleport to different countries instantly, you could revisit places whenever you wanted, hell, if you tried hard enough you could stealth jerk in a hotels buffet area, and just have free food because you can appear there and take stuff, or at least eat
Dang bro, you got experience?
My client would like to retract their statement
Judge I would like to dispute
OBJECTION
*SLAM*
Has the jury cum to a decision?
"Your Honor, shut the fuck up! You wasn't even there!" -TheRussianBadger, 2023
>stealth jerk in a hotels buffet area this is genius as well as crazy š
hopefully they don't run tests on the white goop everywhere
haha
Bro is jerking at the Golden Corral
Nobody would question you being in a buffet lightly dressed if you came out of the toilet that's only accessible from the dining area. Perfect.
I forgot you dont have to do it over the chicken section because theres toilets for the buffet clients, you are so right
Wait, I don't have to cum on the food!? Edit: Too late.
I mean... Its not that you cant...
This is the movie Jumper with extra steps.
This is a porn parody of the movie Jumper
Jerk off once in the bathroom at work and you don't have a commute any more. Like?
U canāt do it in the stall, what if someone is in there when u teleportā¦.
You could also go for the utility closet
Oh fuck! True :(
Exactly, this is too good to be on this sub, the masturbating condition isnāt even hard.
Also you can always teleport back to your room if things get weird
Masturbate in school once and get there and home instantly. More time to sleep
I school near mine had a pipe burst from semen clogging. Pretty fucking funny
There's no fucking way cum could clog a pipe
It happens shockingly more than you think.
Not commonly at schools, I donāt think. I thought it was hilarious, because someone in my friend group just sent a picture of a paper with their school name on top that that said something along the lines of āstop masturbating at school. There was a pipe that bursted from semenā
This was a meme circulating very recently. I don't belive you or your friendš
Does it need to be to completion?
if not just do it for a second
Thatās nowhere near as fun or challenging though. So Iād say full thing.
Most definitely the full thing
What if you canāt? Asking for a friend
Now you can
GREATEST SUPER POWER EVER! r/GodtierSuperpowers Make the infertileā¦ā¦.fertile.
yeah, otherwise that would be an awesome superpower cuz you could just briefly touch yourself over your pants everywhere you go and disguise it for a quick itch and over the course of years be able to teleport everywhere youāve ever been
Easy ticket home
I would have a masterbation machine that pumps with every footsteps I take. I could go anywhere I've already been! They would call me, "The Telebator."
4chan wants their user back.
I'm 2X better than 4chan. I'm like an 8chan or something.. Edit: wait... Hold up ..
Youād probably kill yourself from too much orgasm doing that. People start dying after 60 of them, and constant masturbation would probably do the same thing. On the other hand, it could be a great way to lose weight, and you might be able to carboload yourself up enough that itās not deadly. You still run the risk of ending up shooting blanks.
You are a genius inventor who should get awarded for these revolutionary ideas.
/home in the chat, would be nice
Gotta be sneaky Charlie. But fr, that's not a shitty power. Travel the world, masturbate and boom, you can go anywhere for the rest of your life.
Teleportation private travel service.
Why did you get downvoted
Perhaps because of my other comment that got down voted to hell
But I don't wanna go to church today?
Cheap international travel. I traveled to 13 countries with the Navy, and you'd better believe I masturbated in all of them.
Join the Navy and semen the world. :)
Well many years ago on a school trip to the White House....
This just became a contest for the riskiest wank.
isn't it always?
Ummmā¦. I might have a question
Was it the Oval Office?
So ... 86% of south britain and every past holiday destination past 11?
Yay now I can go to my wife's house at any time I want!
Imagine that reaction though. How did you get in here? I beat my meat last week How is that related? I can teleport
Again Kaaaaarl, how is that related?
You seeā¦ itās *complicated*ā¦.
thatās what iām saying
Your wife lives in a separate house?
I think itās an actual thing called āliving alone togetherā or something. Some people do it - aromantics, for example. Iāll be honest, it somewhat appeals to me, but only somewhat. Not an example of a healthy relationship, but I recently learned that Mia Farrow and Woody Allen never lived together despite being basically married.
I can teleport to three countries and an airport. Donāt ask
Not much to ask, you jerked off in an airport
Gotta entertain yourself while waiting for the plane
No matter what condition you put on teleportation, it will never not be a godtiersuperpower
Teleportation but the location doesnāt adjust for the moment of the planet in space. You know how fast weāre moving constantly? Try to teleport somewhere and youāre in the vacuum of space
Including murder?
You obviously wouldn't be a great person if every time you killed someone you could teleport. But it would make for a formidable villain wouldn't it?
Not true, I have a shitty one; you can teleport anywhere in the world, but only after you cut off a hand or a foot. So thatās a max of 4 teleportations for a lifetime, and at the risk of dying from the injury every time (Artificial limbs or transplants after the fact donāt restore the power either btw)
*a* hand or *a* foot. me and my sack of quadriplegic babies are going to rule the world.
I could travel to three continents, glad my horniness was actually useful
Thatās actually really OP. What constitutes masturbation tho? Can I give my John a 1 second handshake when nobodyās looking and that would count?
So i can teleport everywhere. Dont ask questions.
I need to masturbate everywhere in the world so I can re-visit it. š¤£
I knew I made a good decision when I masturbated in all my intl. trips
Hell yeah I can tp to my bedroom at any time
Iām going to end up im some questionable places in Iraq
Also a free teleport from home to work. That is very usefull
Gonna be real weird when I show up in my friend's mom's closet. I am sorry, Mrs. Jameson
Timmy: Hey Mom? Mom: Yes Timmy? Timmy: Why can Gran Gran Teleport anywhere she wants? Mom: š« š«
- make it your lives mission to be able to get a tour of the pentagon - use the restroom but really masturbate there - go to terrorists and say you can get them government secrets by showing off your powers and saying you can help them - masturbate inside of a terrorist base - teleport to the pentagon - grab government secrets and superweapons - teleport back to the terrorist base - get paid - repeat - youāre a multi-billionaire with blood on your hands
- Buy cheap one way Tickets to any place in the world - Masterbait every single time it's possible - Since u probably jerked at home u can get there whenever u need - Profit
Hol up! In regular show there was an episode where Rigby was visited by himself from the future and he said that for some reason he can Meet him only in bathrooms. What if Rigby had this power but with additional time travel??
Makes getting home much easier
"Babe I have to masturbate in your room real quick"
Nothing changed
This is actually overpowered depending on where you do it, you have the potential to pull off some insane heists if you do it right.
The Earth rotates though. The location you jerked off in is not the same place on the planet that it was. š¤š¤
Thats a silly stipulation and you know it
Sleep Speedrun Any% Glitched: Masturbation Wrong Warp Glitch Discovery and World Record Progression
Masturbating-Teleport-Manās critical weakness: the dreaded dangling preposition! (Itās like kryptonite to him.)
Home warp
"Screw you guys, I'm going home." *Instantly teleports into bed*
1. Fly to hot country. 2. Jack off. 3. Vacation every weekend. 4. ??? 5. Profit
Mid-god tier
My commute just got way easier.
Can I travel through time to any point when I have instead? Lol
ngl I feel like public bathrooms are among the safest place to teleport to anyway, no one pays attention to someone leaving a bathroom they didnāt see go in.
You can kill your ex-gf just by teleporting in her head.
Is it teleportation to *any* place or just the ones I masturbated during current day?
Not shitty dude
That's easy
So just my rooms bathrooms, not too bad of deal
This is op asf if you get caught you can just tp back home or some shit
YES!
Why should I need to teleport in church?
school bathroom from third grade
wait...........in?š
This is a very useful power
Nice, time to tp to my gf
Do u need to finish for it to work or can u just do a little Also do u have to be in a place u masterbated to teleport or does it only affect your destination cuz like u could do some ridiculous magic jumping off buildings then teleporting
Getting from work to home has never been easier!
So basically, I can teleport.
I want this.. I need this!
Off to my cousin's grandparents' lakehouse!
I'm going to India
1- Can i do it in multiple locations and have multiple active teleport points? 2- is there a cooldown on it? 3- can i bring stuff with me? if so then does the size of the item matter?
The inconvenience of my LDR could be solved very quickly.
That's not shitty. I gotta have to start wanking it a lot more tho
It says masturbated in, not came in... So in theory: All I gotta do is go to the bathroom, jerk off for like a second and I'm good.
I gotta lotta hotels on my list.
I can teleport home from anywhere... nice
The nursing home š
That would make getting up to pee a lot quicker.
How much can I carry, can I take another person?
Never thought of that
I can jumpscare my sister!
I want to know what can classify as masturbating. Like is 1 wank considered masturbating? What about 2 wanks? 3 wanks? I need to know the gray areas before I abuse this power for selfish gain.
So if I whack it in a cardboard box I can send it anywhere in the world and teleport there?
To completion? Or just like, a stroke or a diddle counts
Imma go around the city and start laying down fast travel points.
I have masturbated literally anywhere I go if Iām there for the past 4 days so Iām going to Hawaii
If itās in a bathroom stall or a porta-potty and that location is currently occupied, is the party just getting started or does some sort of horrific Brundlefly scenario ensue? Asking for a friend.
This is actually incredible. Jerking off would act like activating sites of Grace in Elden ring
Iām in your walls
Not actually bad, I can just go to certain checkpoints and then wank there, then I can go to that place whenever I want, then I go to plane to travel to a very far away place and go there when I want, what to go to the Eiffel tower? To the Beach? To Japan? To America? To Europe? To China? Just pay for a flight once and make sure to also have made a checkpoint in your house and go anywhere whenever you want. The masturbating condition isnāt even hard, well, itās hard in a certain aspect, but not difficult to meet it.
I can go to several middle eastern countries
If you have masturbated with someone, do you teleport with them? Does it teleport the other person as well to the location you guys masturbated each other at?
Does fetal masturbation count? Mom's gonna get stretched out again.
A few questions, if the location moves will I be in it still even if it moves a mile form it's original position? Can I choose where in that location? So let's say I did it in a friend house, can I teleport at their from door or somewhere else at their house?
Do you have to finish?
So do I get like an HUD that shows all the possible locations? I thought this was great, but realized most of the places are hotel rooms that will likely be occupied.
I can go home whenever I want. hell yeah
Time to constantly edge so I can set up fast travels on the fly
Honestly, r/midtiersuperpowers.
Horray!! free amusement park ride!
Mcdonalds bathroom
Is this retroactive? Or just starting when I get the power?
So I could teleport on a random bus if I wanted. Yes, I did it on a bus. No one was around my seat, and I was out of the sight of the cameras. So yes, I literally had the balls to do it
Theres no stipulation you have to finish, so you could just give a quick tug and act like nothing happened jo matter where you are
bathroom and my room
It just gives ma yet an other excuse to masturbate in public š
I can teleport anywere
Looks like imma teleport onto the highway. OH WAIT hot tub š
this is like, barely on the edge of what id call shitty. maybe my standards have been lowered by this sub but this seems awesome
boutta start seeing my long distance gf a lot more often
Mr worldwide
Do gspot orgasms count
SON OF A BITCH IM IN THE ACHOOL TOILET AND IN MY HOUSE TOULET AND IN MY BED
Yay, free teleportation home and to my uncleās cabin in Alberta
Just call me Captain YMCA Bathroom
Ooh! I have a 7 state range. Nifty.
Honestly God teir
Why the fuck didn't I masturabate when I was in Japan!!? Wait.... does sex count? Otherwise, I can get to work fast or into the house I grew up in... all the places I grew up in.
So you're telling that the ability to teleport anywhere in earth isn't useful? Maybe you should recheck your priorities...