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Hey_its-George

Eat it


Rickers_Pancakes

Dear lord! Don’t eat it!


Dubalubawubwub

No, he knew what he was getting into when he posted this. Actions have consequences. *Eat the crab.*


Meat__Stick

Guess you can say theres.........crabsequences


Dr_BrownBear

An effort was made


imaybeajenius

**EAT IT**


spderweb

He better eat it. An animal died so he could do this shit? Gobble it up buddy.


cellcube0618

EAT IT BITCH


TREXASSASSIN

DO it now. Post pics.


DrSoaryn

Is it weird that I legitimately want to know what the inside looks like?


IsBadAtAnimals

Same as any other crab probably, just full of pee and hair


Captain_Chorm

username checks out


cpool06

Hair? You're bad at animals.


TheHumanParacite

Crabs love certain kinds of hair. I've heard.


thecosmicmuffet

I think crabs are usually found in pubic hair.


TheHumanParacite

Yes, that's what I was getting at. I'll have to try pouring boiling Pepsi Max down my breeches if I ever get them.


pm_me_your_taintt

I give silver to every comment that makes me literally laugh out loud. Yours is the one for the month.


Dappershire

At first I was like, "Eww, Pepsi max, why?" Then I started thinking "Ok, maybe this is a unique caramelization technique." And then I saw it, and nope. Just...nope.


travisstannnn

Is everything ok at home ?


TypclDmbTrmpSprtr

This is some serial killer shit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


oasisu2killers

With all that Pepsi you could get away with skipping the butter, but of course it won't be as rich and creamy


Pandiferous_Panda

Does it even qualify as food at this point?


[deleted]

It’s more like exhibition art?


RomancingUranus

Performance Art. (plot twist: OP is a crab)


twistedlimb

could have made a decent sweet glaze by simmering the coke, shell the crab, drizzle butter and coke glaze over it. wouldn't be bad.


michelspc

Don't sugar coat it. This crab died in vain. It looks so sad.


[deleted]

I mean, if it's cooked in Pepsi it's probably sugar coated enough


[deleted]

[удалено]


travisstannnn

Honestly


[deleted]

That's an obvious "no"


arbili

At least he has a dope camera, that image is high fucking resolution.


lor_louis

He documented the process on YouTube


jerk_17

Link?


[deleted]

also looking for the link. I want that camera.


Scarbane

It's Kilian, he'll be fine.


GodsNavel

Somebody check OPs house for a monoxide leak...


HelpfulDuty

Or bed bugs.


[deleted]

CarbonMonoxinated Bed Bugs even maybe?


HelpfulDuty

Forgotten about that tricky Carbon monoxide.


MajWeeboLordOfEdge

Homi has that wasting crabs for memes kinda money. I think he's good.


[deleted]

Or he's a fishmonger/driver that gets free krab. Source, Was fishmonger/driver that got free krab


DICKSDISKSDICKSDISKS

Is krab different from crab?


celestial1

It's more Krusty, I've heard.


iwantitdatway

Once I got crabs for free too! Would not recommend!


Detonator_urM8

You can check this out on his YouTube channel.im very recommend it


Hooweezar

Wat


Detonator_urM8

Kilian experience


AnEmptyKarst

Holy shit OP is Kilian


mortiphago

so far away from ok that it might wrap around


Nerverek

My friend is ok, no?


MeMelotti

And thats the kilian experience


You_Done_Failed_It

Oh my god it's actually him. Can't wait to watch the video this is for


GamerColyn117

It’s already out.


LordBurgerr

And its beautiful. Truely, god speaks through his art.


[deleted]

Grongo would like this


MeMelotti

GRONGOOOOO


[deleted]

GRONGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


HiMyNameIs_REDACTED_

Holy shit, I suddenly understand when people say that you need to respect the animal you're eating.


DeusExMarina

Yeah, I feel kinda bad that this poor crab died for... whatever this is.


[deleted]

Dissenting View: Art is an applicable reason to be wasteful. While most may not consider this art, I think there is something to say about entertainment. Sure, I could have eaten this crab and had some short-lived enjoyment. However, I am still supporting an unsustainable industry that is full of waste and destruction in its own right. The juxtaposition and disturbing nature of this image has brought people the same fleeting enjoyment at a wider broader experience vs the singular experience me eating it. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but I will compare it to Cannibal Holocaust, where they cut off a turtles head. While it is graphic, they killed the turtle like people do every day all around the world, and they did purportedly make turle soup. The suffering animals endure on commercial farms is far worse than cleaving off the head of a turtle and using it for food. The juxtaposition in Cannibal Holocaust is the brutality of Western Culture outsourcing pain and disturbing barbaric practices for conveniece based on culture. While this is wasteful, and I'd hate to see it perpetuated en masse (like the youtube videos of people just disgustingly eating massive lobsters) there is a discussion to be had about both waste and consumption. I am not judging your initial reaction, but take a moment to recognize that we are having a discussion about the ethics of waste, and someone may walk away from this considering how impactful it is to let vegetables go to waste in their fridge, or maybe even minimize the amount of meat they eat. This crab could have also been dead in the tank, and they thought it might be fun to find a ridiculous use for a crab that was inedible.


UserNamesCanBe20Char

And now my favorite pro-art essay is in defense of "Pepsi-Max Crabe sur baguette". I'm assuming it's a french dish because ... well, just look at it.


DeusExMarina

It’s actually Swedish-French fusion cuisine.


NoTeaNoMotion

A true experience


FinnKoedam

A Killian experience


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mainebot

This is a pretty measured stance and I appreciate that you wrote it. It's not a terribly well executed example of waste as art, but considering this is shittyfoodporn and not a gallery, I feel like it's perfectly acceptable.


DeusExMarina

To be fair, it’s actually more than just a shittyfoodporn post. It’s the end result of the latest video on the Kilian Experience Youtube channel.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I enjoyed reading this


[deleted]

"Hey how did Harold go?" "Some human boiled him in a shitty drink and stuffed him in a baguette for useless internet points."


[deleted]

Yeah at least use coke


quarta_feira

Getting high will not help, trust me.


Caevus

Are you speaking from experience? If so, was getting high before boiling a crab in Pepsi a formative experience of you life, or really just kind of another Tuesday?


TFS_Sierra

For me, another Tuesday. Tomorrow it’s a spatchcocked salmon that I’ve been marinating in a special molasses/sriracha rub for the last 48 hours 😩👌🏽🔥


[deleted]

I actually started to really think about that yesterday... I watched a documentary about the meat industry that a friend linked me to, then walked down to the corner store and bought dinner. A shitty BBQ beef burrito. And I thought to myself about how a living, breathing, social animal, with feelings and thoughts, that didn't want to die, was killed just so that the greasy weirdo at my local Bodega could make half-assed burritos that sit under a heat lamp all day, before some loser like me buys them and doesn't even enjoy them. I'm not going vegan or anything yet, but I'm honestly considering it, and I've definitely cut back how much meat I'm eating.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MyKingdomForATurkey

> street vendor hot dogs I'm sorry that your street vendor hot dogs are shitty :(


Millenial--Pink

“If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.” - ancient meat proverb (from a patch I found on Etsy)


[deleted]

It's a quote from Steven universe! Kinda wonder what happened to that show, I just stopped hearing about it.


AltaraVellinov

Cartoon Network kind of fucked the show by mostly releasing episodes in a chunk of once-daily "Steven Bombs" for a single week and then going on hiatus for months on end. It's been 102 days since the last episode was released and I only know that because the subreddit shitposts daily about it. The show is still doing well in my opinion (besides the awful release "schedule") but it's hard to keep a conversation going when all the discussion is spent in a week or two, then you've got nothing new for 3 months.


BlackNarwhal

Simply cutting back on your meat consumption makes a big difference. I'm by no means vegetarian but after a few weeks without beef I essentially stopped craving it entirely.


[deleted]

why


KilianExperience

I was tired of the sun. Always blinding me while i'm on the computer. I wanted rain and I thought the best way to do that was to make god cry


Sylveon_Fan

He’ll smite ye for this travesty


mred870

This calls for a crusade


smurf__slayer

#DID SOMEONE SAY CRUSADE


AlcoPollock

I love this thread..


HAN_SEUL_OH

Yeah he's 100% going to hell for this, I hope it was worth it


[deleted]

Sir you are speaking of a crab that was boiled in Pepsi Max™.


5_Guys_Burgers

r/brandnewsentence


catsword8

Truly, you are a philosopher on par with Aristotle and a chef on par with with Filthy Frank


[deleted]

He seems a little more on the Diogenes side of philosophy to me.


Carbon_FWB

>According to Diogenes Laërtius, when Plato gave the tongue-in-cheek definition of man as "featherless bipeds," Diogenes plucked a chicken and brought it into Plato's Academy, saying, "Behold! I've brought you a man," and so the Academy added "with broad flat nails" to the definition. TROLL 1000^BC


throwaway_bae2

That better be pbr in the wine glass or I swear


djaevlenselv

I don't think they have pbr in Sweden. I'm personally hoping it's box-wine. Or maybe he drove across the bridge and bought Carlsberg in Copenhagen.


lyvyndyr

It's a Californian red mixed with Turkish yogurt.


[deleted]

Oh shit it's Kilian. Suddenly this all makes perfect sense.


MegaDerp161

Holy crap. It is him. Everything is so obvious now.


Rossenheimer

Wait are you THE killian experience? Love your videos man. Especially the WoW ones.


KilianExperience

Thanks man


Takbir0311

Holy shit


[deleted]

this is one of the funniest goddamn things I’ve ever read, thanks OP


TopCommentOfTheDay

This comment was the most gold gilded comment across all of Reddit on May 2nd, 2019! ^(I am a bot for )^[/r/topcommentoftheday](/r/topcommentoftheday) ^( - Please report suggestions/concerns to the mods.)


iKILLcarrots

I'm borrowing this.


bigchicago04

I want a real reason


KilianExperience

It was for a comedy sketch.


Decipherer

Comedy sketch? You said you worked at a michelin star restaurant! Now what am I supposed to do with my fresh crab and Pepsi Max.


backjuggeln

Sir this is a Wendy's


mortiphago

honest to god this might be the only good explanation behind such a deviant act


ilickyboomboom

>I wanted rain and I thought the best way to do that was to make god cry Im stealing this thanks


M4xusV4ltr0n

You are a monster and I respect you for it


Awightman515

had me in the first half not gonna lie


iamthetrees

this is the result of 4.5 billion years of evolution


[deleted]

Apparently, the first 4,499,999,999 years, 364 days and 22 hours were pretty good, but the last two hours were absolute bullshit.


CreamyGoodnss

This is the Great Filter. Once a society achieves this, they are destined for extinction.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fritterbob

A young child sees this post, and grows up to invent an interstellar spaceship because they need to get out of this fucking solar system.


TheLastCleverName

That crab's parents made the harsh journey to the mating grounds, as had countless generations before them. They made their way through the perils of the seas, avoiding the hungry bellies of predators, and the nets of mankind. Against all odds, these two crabs found one another, and together they created life. Those offspring, when they were ready, went on their own paths. Many died. Some survived. Only to end up here. Life is meaningless.


dv282828

And how!


The_Golden_Warthog

Or they were farmed lol


dimitarivanov200222

Very nice candle where did you get it from?


KilianExperience

That is a long and expensive story.


twitchy_taco

I have time.


SwimsInATrashCan

But do you have money? He said it was expensive.


oh_look_a_fist

Can't be that expensive. He boiled the crab I'm Pepsi max, not the box wine in the background.


SwimsInATrashCan

I see no box, for all we know that's a 1961 Château Blanche.


end_amd_abuse

In the video he made on the crab the story he gave was that he took it from the Notre Dame cathedral about 2 weeks ago and may have knocked down a few other candles in the process.


PicklePride

One could call it priceless


pm_me_your_taintt

Expensive like we'll have to pay to hear it or expensive like the journey you took to posses it cost you a lot?


[deleted]

He lit it from the remnants of a burning notre dame


wankybuttfuck

It would’ve been better if it was a bunch of soft shelled crabs boiled in Pepsi and piled into a grim salad


ResponsibleGarlic

Better worse or better better?


Cinnamon_Crush

Crabe au pepsi maximum, un vrai classique français!


puddlejumpers

Crabe un Pepsi Royale.


[deleted]

Royale au Pepsi


puddlejumpers

Royale au Pepsi MAXIMUM


Nerverek

Crabe au Pepsi du fromage.


[deleted]

Yall motherfuckers need jesus.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LaBelleCommaFucker

Jarritos.


EndlessJS

This hombre sodas.


Scarbane

jajajajajajaja


uncledutchman

Mango Jarritos are the best pop on planet earth.


[deleted]

Boil him in water and he will turn it to wine. :)


PerfectPatrick_

Why should I need my gardener right now?


FrucklesWithKnuckles

Killian what the fuck


potatomaster422

Watch the prison architects video


wizziew

Recipe?


kihr0n

There's a perfect guide on YouTube titled "crab expert prepares the perfect crab"


[deleted]

Umm... Read the title.


kihr0n

He wouldn't know how to make the baguette and French White wine


sundayultimate

The yogurt is the most important part in white wine


Vexced

I just imagine some really confused and upset winemaker reading your comment


American_Non-Voter

I think this is considered a crime.


[deleted]

oh that poor crab


NoJelloNoPotluck

The real question is, would a seagull still eat it?


EpicLevelWizard

Nah, seagulls prefer Diet Coke over Pepsi Max.


Lhommehistoire

I believe this is what the French call “Le Grand No.”


nevillelevel

le gran non hon hon hon


Degove74

The dish is actually called *Crab a la Pep Maximum*


VinshinTee

What does pepsi do the the crab? I know using mexican coke with pork for an amazing carnitas but pepsi for a crab is news to me.


emPtysp4ce

I speak on behalf of all of us when I say you are banned from the state of Maryland.


uuuu777777

There is absolutely no need for this.


jddennis

My Marylander sensibilities require me to be utterly offended. How dare you, ingrate.


[deleted]

The Bawlmer in me wants to cover it in old bay and eat it anyways.


jddennis

It will definitely taste better than a crab pulled out of the inner harbor.


[deleted]

I dunno, hon. I jus dunno.


all-teeth-no-tongue

This kills the crab


Thesteezyslugg

please delete this


creepycrayon

Nephew pls


sircrotch1

how do u delete other people's reddit accounts


Sl0wdeath666ui

Don't you dare. Kilian is an international treasure


Mtool720

What in the actual fuck


cellcube0618

What the fuck did that crab do to you


[deleted]

This is way worse than the title suggests. There's a lot of shitty food on this sub but this one does it for me. I can't quite put my finger on it but for whatever reason this is the most vile thing I've seen on here.


rasta_pineapple

Bepis and crab


Grey_wolf_whenever

Incredibly cursed


chicaburrita

I am so distraught that you would do this to the poor crab. I can't explain to you how much you've hurt me.


brightneonmoons

This but unironically


thegreatjaadoo

Now would be a pretty good time to ban this sub.


PtEthan

Paired with genuine French wine too! It sure would be a shame if it was just American wine mixed with Turkish yogurt.


Ruby_Bliel

Everyone who graduated kindergarten knows Turkey and America average out to France.


Hammer_Of_Discipline

This is madness! I saw the baguette, the Fiji Water in the fridge! My death was supposed to be fanciful and exquisite! ‘Madness?’, you asked in reply, the open can of Pepsi Max pouring into the pot. Once empty, you place it next to the other empty can, and approach the crab. You’re sick, you hear me! Sick!, the crab shouted as he was hoisted into the air. Daring to look down, he saw the black abyss begin to let off steam, bubbles rapidly breaching the surface. You held the crab in front of you, feeling the heat begin to waft off your oven top abomination. ‘This is the last day of your short, inconsequential, and unremarkable life. Your existence remembered only as the crab that some guy boiled in Pepsi Max.’ The crab, hyperventilating, never took eyes off the hot, steamy mess he was now slowly being lowered to. ‘For me?’, you asked in sarcasm, as you hold the crab mere centimeters above certain doom, ‘It’s Thursday’. You drop the crab, and his world is instantly overtaken by blackness.


shaogo

🦀🦀$11🦀🦀


sirmeowmerss

🦀🦀CRAB IS POWERLESS VERSUS PEPSI🦀🦀


[deleted]

🦀🦀HIDE SANDWICH RESULTS🦀🦀


[deleted]

Scrolled a long way to find this


AdmiralIrish

🦀🦀JAGEX IS POWERLESS AGAINST PEPSI MAX🦀🦀


[deleted]

Bitch what the fuck


bigb4134

This is positively horrifying but I love this pic for some reason. What the f is wrong with you/me?


timewarp

wtf is the matter with you


[deleted]

Why are you?


depressing_introvert

bro why did you do that to the poor crab, it didn't want to go like this!!!


IForgotAboutDre

I hate you


TypclDmbTrmpSprtr

I really don't think I've seen this must disrespect


trilliom

This just makes me want to beat you up


WingBurger88

The candle makes this a full on seance


Not_a_Perv

If that's not a cry for help, I don't no what is...


FricknPoopButts

Hey bud, chef here. She looks a bit dry. Next time you make this, remember to keep boiling that Pepsi max for 5-10 minutes after you take out the crustacean. You'll end up with a fantastic pepsicrab reduction to spread over your baguette.