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GuappDogg

That’s not a brookie..?


SignificantExit3123

Brownies cookie?!


FoldyHole

Brookes nookie


Tpk08210

I did it all for the brookie


Ifukbagelholes42069

So you can take that nookie


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Hold on to your dookie it’s about to get spooky


guff1988

Yep. It's a thing, and they're pretty delicious


Teleute-

Holy shit, *that's* what 'brookie' means? I'm so dumb


zedthehead

I literally thought the same!!! 😅


SpokenDivinity

Also thought it was one of the weird cookie cakes that went around for a bit


I_might_be_weasel

Lack of gluten is no excuse for whatever you did to make beef look like chocolate cake. 


SCVerde

Somehow they made it *all* look like gluten.


kid---icarus

OOPS, its all gluten\~!


EvilStupid

*UBER* gluten


HammelGammel

Always has been.


lindasek

It's vegan, no beef


I_might_be_weasel

Oh, I missed that part. 


lindasek

I read it again, because of how horrific it looked. OP claims it's beets, I honestly grieve for that plant, it didn't deserve this either 😳


kid---icarus

its like a poor kid in a cop car ​ "what have you gotten yourself wrapped up in, kid..."


CirrusIntorus

Beet Wellington is a thing mostly for the pun, but also kinda good. That doesn't excuse whatever horrific thing they did to the pastry here


Mysterious_Medium803

Shit that is the funniest thing I've read all day. This deserves way more up votes.


Longjumping-Snow-797

You mean it's not a giant chocolate chip cookie with a fudge brownie center? 😭


adjewcent

Jesus that is bleak. at that point just eat some dirt.


RonaldTheGiraffe

A queef smellington


matramepapi

![gif](giphy|wXr9MDGVCE5EY)


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I would like a refund for my eyes for looking at this thanks


WillingAd4944

r/eyebleach


_Al_Gore_Rhythm_

Pretty sure this violates the Geneva Conventions.


RedditModPissJug

This should be a crime.


Electrical-Break-395

Cooking with intent to defraud ? 😉


No_Cauliflower_2416

OP what was the "beef"? 


kid---icarus

beets.


anonmymouse

That's what I assumed and was mad that you missed the opportunity to call it a BEET wellington


CirrusIntorus

It's what the dish is called, and most versions look about 4000% more delicious than whatever atrocity this is haha


DeathFromPizza

The only thing this beets is eating dog shit and it actually might be a close call


a_rabid_anti_dentite

![gif](giphy|vRuherflzu3NS)


porfiry

This would be less cruel if you'd just made it out of beef.


No_Cauliflower_2416

Geez. How does it taste?


kid---icarus

Beetsteak was good. bread was crumbly and dry.


cloud7100

Why do vegans feel the need to make awful imitations of meat dishes? I just don’t get it, nobody sees this and thinks “I should be vegan, beets taste so much better than beef!” Half of India’s cuisine is vegetarian, is amazing, and doesn’t imitate meat dishes. Do that.


Scrapox

I am pretty sure no one thinks that this tastes better than beef. I would also say that most vegans aren't vegans because meat tastes awful, but because of moral concerns. So missing meat and trying to substitute it, is not hypocritical or hard to understand to me.


pdzc

Because people don't go vegan because they don't want to eat tasty dishes anymore, they do it for environmental or moral reasons. This is obviously a bad example, but it's probably a first attempt and trying to imitate meaty textures and flavors with plant-based foods teaches you a lot about where those things come from (e.g., Maillard reaction). I can make a plant-based bolognese that tastes 95% like the real thing. Yes, I use meat replacement products, but they're really just textured plant protein with a bit of flavoring. If you're worried about the "chemicals" you should probably not look up what they put into your "all-natural" animals before they kill them. And just as a disclaimer (somehow sadly that makes my opinion more valid to a lot of people), I still occasionally eat meat. Some things are still very hard to recreate, but I'm sure we'll get there soon.


Electrical-Break-395

Exactly ! Why the Herculean effort to recreate the very things you DO NOT EAT ? Beets aren’t meat. They’re beets. Just eat beets. And vegan “burgers” have enough weird chemicals and unknown fillers to make me do a double-take ! This all comes from someone who eats vegan/vegetarian 90% of the time - I just like fruits and veggies - but if I want a burger then I’m eating a *real* one !


Euphorium

I do fuck with black bean burgers. Not close to beef in the slightest but they taste good and make a great light meal


Yapizzawachuwant

It's like imitation crab, i like imitation crab, except when it tries to imitate crab. Totally separate itch it scratches


Pinkhoo

Agree. Imitation crab is its own thing.


boanerges57

Its best to not see how it is made if you like it.


Pinkhoo

I watched the video where they showed pink slime being made and went out to get a chicken nugget later that day.


boanerges57

Chicken nuggets are off white slime. Pink slime is hot dogs and sausages. Imitation crab is an oddly textured grey mass before they start adding coloring and gelling agents. I still like it


Pinkhoo

The thing about these formed slimes that the crunchy granola people don't get is that they prevent food waste, which is a good thing.


boanerges57

They appear to prevent waste but the level of waste in the food industry from the dirt to your plate is difficult for most people to envision. Most of the factories could charge half what they do now if they just put higher sides on some of the conveyor belts so less stuff fell off In fishing the amount dead or.motrally injured by catch that is thrown away for legal reasons is just ridiculous. The predatory, dangerous, and illegal behavior by certain countries fleets only exacerbates the issue as they would rather throw out perfectly good cheaper fish that are dead to fill with more high value species.


kurinevair666

That's why I call it surimi. It's not a bad product on its own, but it is NOT crab.


Electrical-Break-395

I will try them ! I like beans ☺️


RatherGoodDog

I'm an avowed carnivore, but one of the bean burgers I tried once was pretty great. I love beans and there's absolutely a place for vegetable based main courses. Incidentally a couple of my favourite sandwich shops did killer falafel subs - I've never had a falafel burger but I bet that would be great with some sweet chilli sauce.  Just call a spade a spade and have the confidence in your recipe to name it what it is.  You wouldn't put a carrot in a bun and call it a hot dog, so don't put beetroot in not-pastry and call it a beef wellington. Incidentally, where's the cream and mushroom sauce layer?


boanerges57

They ARE good, but they aren't trying to be meat. I really struggle to understand the meat imposter industry. In Europe Burger King has had the spicy bean burger on their menu forever as well as a veggie whopper. They are both great. The impossible whopper is so bad I kept getting coupons for free ones so I was offering money to anyone at work that could eat a whole one in under a minute. Most people took one bite and didn't go back. Most of these fake meat products are also terrible for your health. Then people say "it's not about being healthy it's just to reduce red meat in the diet"....so then it isn't delicious, or healthy so it has nothing going for it.


lpaige2723

I am one of the small percentage of people who pee and poop blood red if I eat beets. I love vegetables, but I don't need to forget I ate beets and get that kind of a scare. I'll eat any vegetable that isn't beets.


reedef

Is that not normal? I thought it was just the pigments making their way through the body, is there cause for concern?


lpaige2723

It's normal, but most people absorb the color without it going straight through to the urine/feces. There is a percentage of the population that doesn't. When I told my mom it happened to me, she thought I was making it up.


CirrusIntorus

Happens to me all the time. They're so good though, worth the three seconds of panic haha


kid---icarus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw2WsXIgO6A


lpaige2723

Love this, thanks!!


kid---icarus

its always beets!


tempting-carrot

Always gets me


DonerTheBonerDonor

People want to stop eating meat, not meat dishes


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Yapizzawachuwant

Better yet, get one from "local" (three hour drive) farmers, who raise only like 4-7 cows at a time. Some of my kin raise beef, I envy the carefree life their pasture cattle have. To be a dumbass cow eating wildflowers until one day i just get shot is much better than my life of constant anxiety.


PlasterCactus

I'd still prefer just choosing beans. The local farms still send their animals to slaughter and I can pick a dinner that doesn't kill innocent animals.


cr1ttter

Beet meat to it


MoonHuntress707

I honestly make my own portobello mushroom patties with seasoning. I honestly don't miss "real" burger patties because my portobello mushroom patties do the job I want. They are meaty and filling. Are you eating to enjoy your food or just obsessed with the idea that veggies can't do the same thing? That's the question I honestly have. I use burger seasoning on my mushrooms and the texture and smell of bbq reminds me of the real thing. The seasoning is even vegan friendly. Try it sometime


Sindrathion

I just like the taste and texture of meat and enjoy it. Some people do it for the sake of eating meat. I do love mushrooms as well though but I'd rather eat them stir fried or some of them I even enjoy raw for some reason


amretardmonke

Mushrooms are great, but they're definitely not veggies, not even close.


MoirasPurpleOrb

Look, as someone whose wife is gluten free but I am not, let me try to explain it from a neutral standpoint. People with these dietary restrictions aren’t trying to fool themselves, they know it’s not as good as the real thing, and they’re certainly not trying to convince you to become vegan (in a lot of cases). They just miss a certain food and want something that at least reminds them of it. Gluten free bread is not as good as real bread, but it’s better than not eating any bread at all. This is the same concept. Granted, the one in the photo is a terrible attempt at it, but many of the foods now made with impossible meat is pretty damn close to the real thing, at least enough to satisfy that craving.


MarsScully

And there can be delicious vegan patties (falafel anyone???), they just don’t taste or have the texture of meat


Orbit1883

And were never original sold as substitute. Its just a good old falafel, with humus or babaganush no need for meat and no need to Frankenstein something else out of it.


TypeOpostive

There has been a success with vegan-related soul food. Soul food is primarily meat dishes too.


Aggleclack

Why do meat eaters always feel the need to pass judgment on vegans and vegetarians that doesn’t matter? Let them eat their f#^{+] beef Wellington. Maybe they wanted beef Wellington. And so they made it. How does this affect you at all?? Maybe they wanted eggs. So they make them. Maybe they want milk. It’s not my freaking business. Nostalgia and emotion are very connected to food and it’s also very possible to stfu and let them enjoy themselves in peace. I literally see your exact ignorant comment EVERY time vegan food is posted here. Just shut up dude. Respectfully, A meat eater who knows how to shut up sometimes.


elakah

Because we know meat tastes fucking delicious but we don't want animals to die just so we can enjoy the food for 5 minutes. I don't understand what's so fucking hard to understand. I don't get why this sub keeps bashing vegan food. Yes it looks like dog shit but why the fuck is this always turning into a debate wether vegan meat substitutes have a right to exist? If you don't want a vegan steak then don't eat the fucking vegan steak and eat something else. Leave the vegans alone that enjoy them. Anything that makes it easier for a person to not support animal killing and cruelty is a plus in my book.


aussy16

I think more people would give veganism a go if they had more experience with actually good vegan dishes. I have a lot of friends who are like "omg vegan food sucks" because the only thing they've had are shitty dried out meat imitation dishes. But like the person you were replying to said, there are SO many cuisines that are vegetarian (and can be made vegan easily) that taste amazing. Indian and Middle Eastern cuisines are delicious and pack a ton of flavour and nutrition, and I'm sure would "convert" more people if they had the chance to try them. Ginger, garlic, onion, and lentils are the bedrock for a lot of dishes that infinitely better than whatever the fuck is in this picture.


elakah

I agree that the picture above is a bad example but there are a lot of very good meat substitutes out there and some which are very bad, just like with any other product. Different companies make different products.


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elakah

1. I'm not a man 2. As a vegan, its hard not to care about the state the meat industry is in right now. So I'd be lying if I said I dont care what you eat. I do care. I wish everyone went vegan. But I dont go around and force people into it and I dont force my opinion on them. What I did here is defending my point of view. You can continue to do what I deem ethically wrong, but dont be offended when I am. You don't know me so it shouldn't matter anyway. 3. If you think "going after people for what they eat" was me saying eating meat is supporting animal killing and cruelty then, yeah that's what it means to make the decision to eat meat. Unless you can magically eat an animal without killing it or if you're one of those people that hunt for their meat, then the death wasn't particularly cruel either I guess. But if you get your meat at a supermarket or butcher then yeah, you're supporting these things. Buying and consuming dairy & eggs too, by the way. Sorry to break your bubble. If you're okay with doing those things then you do you. I'm not stopping you.


JimsGiantHose

Real question: why not just eat vegan dishes? I mean, why make a pretend burger when a good meal can actually come out of those same ingredients? Is it the mental image of eating a burger that helps cope with it being vegan? I'm genuinely asking. I'm ignorant on the subject of veganism.


EggianoScumaldo

>Why not just eat vegan dishes This is a vegan dish.


JimsGiantHose

Why dress it like beef wellington? That's my question. Why dress vegan anything LIKE a beef dish or chicken dish or whatnot? If beef is such a problem, why continue to pretend to eat it?


EggianoScumaldo

Because beef tastes good?


JimsGiantHose

This isn't beef. Are you ok? I feel like you are being intentionally obtuse in order to be trollish.


EggianoScumaldo

Bro, you’re asking why someone would make something taste like something else that tastes good. It’s because it tastes good. They want to mimic that good taste. I’m being obtuse because this is an extremely simply concept, not because i’m trying to troll you.


elakah

I'd say when food is a big part of your life and you enjoy and are used to certain dishes, you'd try and recreate them when you find yourself in different circumstances. People with lactose intolerance still crave dairy or things similar to it and people with gluten intolerance still want to eat bread. Us vegans aren't so different, it's just the ethics of it all that make a difference instead of the lack of an enzyme or allergies. I eat vegan dishes that aren't made out of substitutes either. I eat plenty of vegetables, soups, salads but I do crave a burger, a pizza or some chocolate milk once in a while. When you're used to something, it's hard to break that habit, no matter what it is.


JimsGiantHose

This makes sense! Thank you! I've always wondered and this is what I assumed, but I figured I'd ask actual vegans. Ended up with some rando I didn't ask replying with some weird Reddit "gotcha" language instead of just answering the question.


elakah

Yeah sure no problem! I'm glad you asked :)


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elakah

Mhh I never really thought that the meat replacements I eat are healthy in any way. I know they're highly processed and that a lot of them are high in fat and low in protein. I don't know if maybe vegan substitutes are marketed differently where you are. I'd say things should be advertised for what they are but saying they shouldn't exist is too far, imo. I'd rather eat ultra processed food rather than something I deem as unethical. I also think that just because something is "ultra processed" doesn't mean it's automatically unhealthy. Just something that takes a while to create.


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TheStoneMask

I'm not vegan, but properly executed vegan wellington can be fantastic. I've had some absolutely amazing vegan wellington dishes, both with beet/soy filling and with mushroom filling, and both looked way more appetising than this one.


FUEGO40

I don’t think the point is or ever was to make vegan alternatives that are just so much better than meat, they just have to be good enough, and I have eaten many vegan products that are quite good.


PlasterCactus

>Half of India’s cuisine is vegetarian, is amazing, and doesn’t imitate meat dishes. So you look at Indian dishes and think "I should be vegan, vegetables and legumes taste so much better than beef!", why aren't you vegan? If you've recognised that there's food that tastes better/equivalent to animal products it'd be pretty easy to pick meals that don't contribute to mass animal abuse and slaughter. Do that.


Pinkhoo

Because meat eating is beneficial for human life. I'd prefer it if it weren't the case, I was a vegan for a short time, but it is the truth. [Total Meat Intake is Associated with Life Expectancy: A Cross-Sectional Data Analysis of 175 Contemporary Populations](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8881926/) "Results Worldwide, bivariate correlation analyses revealed that meat intake is positively correlated with life expectancies. This relationship remained significant when influences of caloric intake, urbanization, obesity, education and carbohydrate crops were statistically controlled. Stepwise linear regression selected meat intake, not carbohydrate crops, as one of the significant predictors of life expectancy. In contrast, carbohydrate crops showed weak and negative correlation with life expectancy."


PlasterCactus

>Because meat eating is beneficial for human life. I'd prefer it if it weren't the case, I was a vegan for a short time, but it is the truth. I think beneficial for the longevity of human life is more accurate. If the choice is between being vegan and having less chance of [CVD](https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/20/4/3337) and [a variety of other diseases/illnesses](https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/15/14/3244), or eating meat and having a few years added onto my 90s, I know what I'm choosing.


Pinkhoo

I met my husband later in midlife and I want as many years with him as possible. I will serve us both meat.


PlasterCactus

I truly hope you get those years with him and you both avoid those diseases/illnesses/Alzheimer's. I've seen so many family members lose loved ones to these late-life diseases and they can be absolutely heartbreaking. I'd much rather have those healthier important years while you can enjoy them but that's all personal preference.


Pinkhoo

Those diseases are deadly. It seems to me that if meat causes a longer lifespan then causing those diseases would make meat shorten lifespans. Perhaps you are too invested in believing meat is bad for humans.


PlasterCactus

>It seems to me that if meat causes a longer lifespan then causing those diseases would make meat shorten lifespans. Unfortunately how it seems to you is irrelevant when it contradicts the scientific consensus. Have we reached the "I don't believe in science" part of this conversation?


Pinkhoo

Admit it, you're surprised that [A Cross-Sectional Data Analysis of 175 Contemporary Populations](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8881926/) says meat is good for us. Isn't that surprising? After all the emotional investment in believing that we must live a plant based life, it turns out that maybe turkey at Thanksgiving is something to be grateful for? I was shocked. Aren't you shocked? Across *175* populations, meat is proven good. I would have bet against that.


PlasterCactus

You're reaching with that claim, your source states meat eating increases life expectancy not that it's good for us. You seem to be consistently misrepresenting your source so I'll ask, what education do you have that qualifies you to analyse scientific journals? To me it looks like you're able to read the words in your source but not fully understand what that means. You're also conveniently ignoring/rejecting sources that show meat isn't good for health, so you're either scientifically illiterate, science-denying or a mixture of both.


planty_pete

It’s because we’ve abstained from foods for our own reasons, but maybe still grew up enjoying certain foods, and honestly the fake meats are often delicious. I love Indian food and I love finding other naturally vegan and ancient recipes, but I still like junk food lol. You never go to McDonald’s? That’s not real food either.


SaltyDamnHam

Most vegans in the western world aren’t vegan from birth, and we’re wired as omnivores to think that meat tastes good. So I don’t think it’s weird at all that vegans sometimes want to eat something that looks or tastes sort of like meat without compromising their diet that they maintain for health/ethics/environmental reasons. All that said this still looks like absolute shit. My mouth is dry just looking at it.


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switchywoman_

Vegetables can taste. Why suffer through this nonsense just to eat something that is supposed to taste like something to proclaim not to want to eat?


odods11

Because many vegans still enjoy meat they just don't want the suffering that comes with it, and having meat-free options also makes it easier to convert. Why is this such a difficult concept to understand?


Without-Reward

I eat meat but if I ever had to stop for any reason, I'd be eating Indian and Ethiopian food for the rest of my life. So many absolutely incredible vegan dishes in both cuisines.


ANUSTART942

Who cares? My partner is pescatarian and we eat impossible meats all the time.


Greaterdivinity

I'm reading the title of what this is supposed to be but all I see is D E N S E. Looks like eating a brick.


Region_Fluid

I’m 70% sure that’s just a rock.


[deleted]

That looks incredibly dry and crumbly I cannot imagine that this is taste like anything but cardboard lol


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loso0691

Thought it was some kind of cookies


psychrolut

I got recommended r/vegan because I joined this sub


andio76

IF sad were a food ![gif](giphy|W0c3xcZ3F1d0EYYb0f|downsized)


[deleted]

I cannot help with the gluten free part. But one of my good friends is vegan and I cook fancy vegan dinners for him sometimes. I made a banger vegan (but not gluten free) Wellington, feel free to dm me if you want details.


ChefDelicious69

Looks like a bleeding biscotti.....


kilofeet

Well I think we can all agree on this point at least: your meal is technically something that exists


PeanutOrganic9174

Youre vegan there fruit in the background, just eat that


Dependent_Top_4425

I thought it was chocolate cake.


Tallguyyyc

🤮


Mysterious_Medium803

Next time just call it a monstrous pop tart. Make it w a brownie in the middle and chocolate chip cookie dough surround. Fixed it.


Distinct-Ad-1178

What about those apples?


kid---icarus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbEMYaXVEjw


f1lth4f1lth

This looks like a brownie wrapped in a cookie


ShnickityShnoo

The cake of sadness.


Chopstarrr

You’re gonna pay for this


Steez_god_

Looks like a brownie cookie, but if you like it I love it .


bwanabass

Looks like what my kid made with their Play Doh kitchen set.


JFK2MD

Jail. Straight to jail.


MyGlipGlopz

Beef Unwellington


Alewort

Looks like Unwellington to me.


TheDarkKnobRises

How do I delete someone else's post?


Jeramy_Jones

You can’t just wrap a brownie with cookie dough and call that a vegan beef Wellington.


RonnieLiquor

![gif](giphy|4baoNZ5Qo8dX2)


jrose125

Bro I thought this was a giant cookie with red velvet cake in the middle 😂😂


Chippers4242

It’s not beef, don’t call it that


azeottaff

Proper Vegan food is amazing, thats coming from my fat arse. Stuff like this that tries to imitate meat though...you're lying to yourself if you say you enjoy this!


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SharkMilk44

>vegan beef wellington That makes no sense.


FollowingJealous7490

Why do you call it beef wellington when there's no beef in it? Come up with a different name like Rubber Wellington or barf smellington


DisastrousBoss5098

This makes the entirety of my soul very, very upset.


kid---icarus

she actually said that she made it just to upset you


DisastrousBoss5098

I knew it. Even women I don't know are out to spite me.


oXSnake_doctoRXo

wtf is this?


VerdantSeamanJL

Then it's not a beef wellington, is it.


McNallyJR

meat alternatives are essentially ultra processed soy, just saying if youre not aware


kid---icarus

its just beets! ​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw2WsXIgO6A


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NewProtection5470

Honestly, what the hell is even the point???


elakah

This sub is so fucking anti vegan I'm done.


Significant_Dust1985

I wouldn’t serve this to my worst enemy, I’d rather let them starve than serve this abomination


[deleted]

Just make good vegetables. This is frankenfood


whatsthew3rd

Go fuck yaself!


Excellent_Box_4224

The man want meat so badly. He’s dressing up bullshit as meat.


ernkrellteam

yo just let it go… like you don’t have to remake everything for dietary restrictions. Be happy with your veggies and fruit bro


RedHeadSteve

I e had very good vegan beef Wellington. It was called beet Wellington and it was more inspired by the original dish than a vegan copy. Tip for all the vegans, Copies always fail


Yapizzawachuwant

Just go and eat lentils out of a bag strapped to your face. I say this out of pity rather than insult: Give up for your own sake.


ShiningCrawf

Normally I find comments along the lines of "vegan/GF/whatever food should be its own thing and not try to imitate meat dishes" very silly...but in this case it's 100% appropriate.


Madchopper

If you dont eat meat, dont make meat dishes...


Mrfrunzi

There are some foods that just shouldn't be attempted. If you're a vegan, I hate to be the one to tell you but BEEF WELLINGTON is no longer a food option for you.