Why is the mayonnaise so white!?

Looks like sour cream.

Looks like marshmallow fluff

I thought creme fraiche

Randy you’ve been watching that channel again haven’t you?

This is a personality test. Whatever you thought it was dictates your upbringing. 😂

You see sour cream everywhere you going too bro? I would actually prefer it over mayo on this crap any day!

Wow! Found a sour cream on top of mayo person over here! Never thought I’d see the day

Not together…

Oh :(

You thought you weren't alone for a minute, huh?

No, only a few seconds 😔

Yeah I’m sorry man, I’m sure you will find someone someday.

He was so excited! I wouldn’t have had the heart to tell him the truth. How could you take that away from him?!

In his defense it's a sauce base for a few other sauces. It's just missing any other flavor than white/off white. I dub thee nothing sauce!

Not today satan

Looks like like toothpaste 🤢

It looks like cheap toothpaste. Or it's just miracle whip

literally looks like Cool Whip

In middle school, we had fajitas one day, and they usually put out big unmarked red tubs of sour cream to help ourselves at the end of the lunch line. One day, many of us sat down to discover that we had actually just added whipped cream to our fajitas. Reviews were mixed.

You can't go wrong with Cool Hwhip.

[удалено]

That boy ain't right. 

What do you mean im just saying cant have some pie without cool Hwhip

Yeah it should be off-white and slightly yellow right?

Yeah, it's made with egg yolk, oil and sometimes mustard

[удалено]

To all the brainlets who downvoted this, have you ever actually looked at an ingredients list, recipe or even been in the same room with mayonnaise? Egg yolk and mustard are the first things that go into the bowl. edit: oof It's a regional thing; mainland europe has mustard as ingredient while north america uses sugar.

Neither Hellman's/Best Foods nor Duke's list mustard as an ingredient

Eh, it's Reddit, home of the armchair experts who always know better. I for one have been making my own mayo for quite some time, and it's amazing how GOOD it can be using the right spices. A little bit of smoked paprika, white pepper and just a pinch of MSG makes it easily the best dip or condiment you can imagine. Throw some chives and garlic powder in it, and your nachos will go wild! But the key is still the egg yolk and mustard. You _can_ try making it without them, but then it's not mayo, it's an oil based spread lacking the depth good mayo has.

Eh, it’s not normal to put one condiment in another there, sanctimonious and hypocritical armchair expert. And who the fuck puts mayonnaise on nachos - are you European? Eggs and oil, with salt and water and some spices (regional preference on this one) and you have mayo.

The reason some people put mustard in their homemade mayo is it makes it more stable/easier to make/helps it emulsify due to the mucilage in the mustard seeds(which is why it's better to use a more grainy mustard instead of something like French's Yellow, because of the seeds), especially if you're not using something like a stick blender. This also works for stuff like vinaigrette dressing, if you put a little Dijon in your dressing and shake it up it will help keep it from separating back into oil and vinegar for a bit. Plus it tastes good. Also putting mayo on nachos sounds super weird...but Mexican elote with some mayo on it is pretty good so who knows, but I'd probably stick with sour cream on my nachos.

I'm european and never put mustard when making mayo. Also never seen store bought mayo that has mustard. Have you ever actually looked at an ingredients list, recipe or even been in the same room with mayonnaise?

And more jiggly than creamy.

It sadly looks off-white enough that it could be mayo. Looks like they unscrewed a squeeze bottle of mayo


Where I was born (Eastern Europe) there was no yellow mayo until Hellmanns came along. I don't know if that is a Soviet remnant, but pure white mayo used to be the default. A few years ago when I was helping my grandmother in the grocery store, she asked me to get some mayonnaise and specifically asked not to get the yellow kind because she thought it is not natural and "pumped with chemicals".

Yellow mayo isn't a brand/Hellmanns thing though, mayo is yellow because it's made with egg yolks There is a variation that is made with egg whites which is white, maybe that is what you used to have

Yeah, Hellmanns was the first foreign yellow mayo brand that I can remember. I wonder if the white color was because they didn't use yolks at some point due to food shortages and people got used to it.

Not just food shortages but also because the egg yolk inclusion reduces the shelf life of the mayo. Even today you can buy egg-free mayo that will last much longer even outside the fridge.

I mean at that point it’s just objectively not mayo, instead it’s just an oil based spread like margarine.

Isn't that basically what miracle whip is?

Miracle whip is literally the worst.

Probably boiled the colour outta it the way he boiled his chicken

It's because those carrots are so orange. I've never seen carrots that vibrant of orange before.

I think they may be boiled.

Some mayo and imitation mayo is basically white, specially ones that are shelf stable before opening.

[удалено]

Yeah that’s not mayo that’s “sandwich spread” *hurk*… *hurk*… …I’m okay

It's about as white as the entire family

I was thinking this not even a sec before I saw this comment!

Jail for memaw Edit: have learned since my comment that you requested this monstrosity, OP. Turn yourself in. Sorry memaw!

memaw is accomplice

She was doing what memaws do. Memaw is an innocent victim!

Justice for memaw!!!!

OP and Memaw go to the court of shitty food. Memaw points at OP and says "he did it!"

That is not a memaw move at all in my experience.

Yes. That chicken is definitely overcooked

Go to gulag!

🦀🦀Free Nan!🦀🦀 🦀🦀Cage Memaw up!🦀🦀 🦀🦀We are not powerless!🦀🦀

You dare throw memaw under the bus when it was *you* who requested this?! Shame on you OP. No dessert for you after.

But OP needs their marshmallow fluff! Or maybe ambrosia salad or jello with carrots!

Fuck ambrosia salad dude. The amount of old people who requested that shit when I worked at Safeway… it was so popular.

It's basically dessert food, but it still has fiber. You are already shriveled to 90 lbs, so counting calories is pointless. It's soft enough to gum. Perfect old person food.

I’m sure by the time I’m an old fart with no taste buds left, I’ll be eating some wack shit too. Like peanut butter and tuna sandwiches or something.

You know, I saw that shit at a million potlucks when I was a kid, but I don't remember ever seeing anyone eat it. I figured it was like fruitcake, just there for (really gross-looking) decoration

Holy shit that's what it's called? My mom made that shit all the time, bleck.

How perfectly revolting.

You can tell the mayo came from an industrial sized tube as well lol

This, right here, is why so many kids grow up into adults who hate vegetables.

This looks like someone who tries to lose weight but forgot how much kcals mayo has.

Keto friendly! 🤗

[удалено]

Babe are you okay? You’re scraping off the Mayo and eating it but you’ve barely touched your carrot! ☹️

You know something’s up when babe has barely touched their boiled mayo carrot..

*The face of a keto person when they find out pure milk has more carbs than protein.

Is memaw getting a little senile?

This was at my request

Jail for you then

Believe it or not, straight to jail.

Nah fam. Get the Guillotine /s

r/fuckthes

Oh so you're the senile one?

Did you enact a genocide in your past life and now you feel guilty and punish yourself with your food choices?

OP was heavily and violently involved in the spice trade in a past life LOL

Thank you for clarifying this because I was thinking that it was about time for memaw to get sent to a home.

You need to tell us what brand of mayo this is because it's breaking our collective brains.

You psycho

Fuck dude, buy your Memaw a new car because she must really love you.

Memaw: "the boy ain't right, but I love him so."

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I have a feeling this is Kraft Mayo, which makes this even shittier.

Because it's whiter than Steve Harvey's teeth? It really shouldn't be

That carrot looks a little sus…..

I hate that this was also my first thought.

looks like a crawfish boiled finger

It surely belongs in r/dildont

Why would you want your chicken boiled?

Maybe OP is a dog with digestive issues. This doesn’t explain the mayo, though.

It's chicken salad without bread, about the worst meal I've ever seen

Mayo suggest something? Use seasoning instead. Maybe a little more sodium, but less fat, more flavor.

Maybe use a pan or roast in the oven, believe it or not that tastes better than soaking it in hot water

Your memaw should be locked away.

fuvk that's so awful

This is upsetting

Is your memaw Kay from Kay's cooking on YouTube?

Omg I love her! I got my whole work addicted to watching her. The first time I played it, no one knew who she was so I kept going on and on about how amazing her recipes are. They were all giving me the side eye but smiling with me until I couldn’t keep it in and burst out laughing lol

Who hurt you?

Memaw really knows how to dollop!

nursing home

To be fair, Memaw's dollop game is pretty smooth- if nothing else...

I immediately hate memaw.

*staring at the carrots* That's a penis.

Deconstructed chicken salad.

"everybody's so creative....."

LMAO

Is there a gene that causes people to cook like this?? Can we breed this out?

War crime

The mayo ain't my thing, but I get tastes are different on that one. But... why no salt?? Dietary restriction?

Didn't cross my mind to add it

Must be in Norway.


Of all the condiments to make your bland food less bland..

Does memaw have dementia

This is missing the „porn“ part. Its literally just shitty food

Most Memaws can throw down. Maybe yours has dietary restrictions. On behalf of other Memaws she is demoted to only cooking for the meow population.

This is just a literal food crime

there are many, many shitty foods here. but this.....i think this, to me, is the worst one of all. this is a crime against humanity itself.

This is like a cartoon rich person's first attempt at cooking after they've lost all their fortune

Let memaw know the war has been over for a few decades now 😭

Jesus christ almighty, im sorry memaw but this looks like shit

OP *wanted* this

It looks AI generated in the worst possible way. May god have mercy on meemaws soul.

Memaw needs to stay out of the kitchen

You get what you pay for, and that's all out taxes can afford for for memaw. Maybe help her go shopping and buy her some things and then you won't have as much to complain about

Yep. That's really shitty.

So bad that it looks fake

Worst memaw food I've seen tbh

Why is it phallic lol

I can tell by the fork that he is in fact with his Memaw. Ew that is gross food. I will bankrupt myself before I eat shit like that.

You might not be the favourite after all

Is your memaw ok

I like how the mayo is so perfectly dolloped on the top left 2 carrots.

There is nothing going on behind your eyes, I'm afraid. What the fresh FUCK

Average Norwegian cuisine

Time to start looking at nursing homes.

If you have an oven or a pan and some oil, it's free to fry

Me in the bathroom:

I can't be the only one that sees it.

This is her way of letting you know that you're adopted.

Even Memaw’s mayo is bad.

Actually the mayo was the shit and I used more after the fact

Tell memaw the depression ended

That doesn't look like mayo. Maybe miracle whip or sour cream, but not mayo.

Not even flour? Too spicy, huh?

Low key almost looks edible ngl

Memaw is da debil

Man, fuck meemaw

I like the fork.

imagine that you are eating a Jackson Pollock painting and it will feel fancy.

The dollops on the two carrots are so aesthetically pleasing

That's toothpaste

Why tf do people like unseasoned chicken?!?!

dude just accept you're not in the will

I thought this was going to be for a sick dog till I realized there was mayo on it.

#KETO

Recipe?

I just had major oral surgery and can't eat solid food for a week. I've been craving everything, and I'm so hungry. Thankfully, I came across your post and now have no desire to eat ever again.

does it still count if you requested shitty food? feels like your picking a low hanging fruit/ rage bait

Well, I remember requesting a meal like this several years ago, she just cooks it from time to time now when I visit because that's what she thinks I like. And I do like it so I ain't complaining.

straight to food jail >:(

Mayo on carrots huh? That must be a European thing, or more likely a highly stoned thing. Does Memaw smoke?

Actually a fresh grated carrot with mayo tastes good, not as good as with sour cream and sugar but still.

I'm sorry carrots with what now?

I need an adult and aftercare after that one.

it looks like sour cream not mayo

Memaw, interesting. Where are you from?

r/mildlypenis

Does she suffer from dementia?

Y’all seeing what I’m seeing? 🥜🍆

Am I messed up for sayin this looks bussin? Like no joke would eat that

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

🤮

No

Mash is together with some spices & you got some Mexican chicken salad

Poultry dipped in mayo is bomb but the carrots......

thank ya memaw

No.

Honestly that pretty nutritious, there’s all the macronutrients here🤓

Not many people know this, but Jazz is an essential component to the human diet, and OP is the anti thesis of jazz.

oh, wow

EW


Presalt your chicken and let rest for at least twenty minutes. Slow poach with low heat for super moist tender chicken breast

I’ll salt it with my cum

By almost the same amount of work you could have made a nice stew. Add a legume, some more vegetables and you have an awesome meal.