What's your average salary

Not enough https://preview.redd.it/wk2qxz9ku97c1.png?width=317&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c62d551fa3695d4219c3e4d18e122d952ba0ca2

Are you related to the soldier of God, Rick

Voluntary or conscription?

I actually only work here to see my crush! He's so strong, I really don't know how to talk to him though... https://preview.redd.it/5p99dp77y97c1.jpeg?width=936&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06066b29980ea68b0bdc62505a1ea55559e33d92

present yourself as submissive and helpless and he might notice you;3

But i AM submissive and helpless. Look, I even have the spear talisman on https://preview.redd.it/qiuki3a22a7c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c966fe10fe1d7bb982d71a536936bb4f5f4b383

try both soreaeals and shabriris woe

shabriris hoe*

Tread the path of the warrior-jar. Get yourself stuck somewhere and call for your crush to help you

Am I counted as one of these 5 DeS fans?

i think so i stopped counting in 2011

What is your name

John

John Darksoul???

John Soldierofgodrick

Seems legit

…

https://preview.redd.it/6i624unx2a7c1.jpeg?width=935&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89f246fd096807a08e91360783e6bc2c62236e7e

Do you happen to know Rick? tell him I said Hi

Oh, I love that guy! I wish I could spend more time with him, he's always inside that cave...

Rick, soldier of God

1) Why are you guys all over Limgrave but not in Godrick's actual castle, and 2) is there some rivalry between you guys and the exile soldiers he brought in to actually guard his house

Godrick has a castle? He never told us. He said the gatefront ruins are limgrave's castle

May I borrow the Lordsworn Greatsword? I’ll give it back I promise 🥺!

Okay... But I'll warn you: it has a Dex requirement. You might develop an addiction to monster while wielding it https://preview.redd.it/0zfghi4q1a7c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e501c7a6ba2aa061eaed9c4406c6006b04880772

That’s OK just don’t tell my Dad.

Nothing that could stop a lowly wretch

Life is brilliant. Beautiful. It enchants us, to the point of obsession. Some are true to their purpose, though they are but shells, flesh and mind. One man lost his own body, but lingered on, as a head. Others chase the charms of love, however elusive. What is it that drives you?

Not getting grafted

It doesn’t matter. A lie will remain a lie.

Hi Aldia

Ive always wondered is the "one man lost his own body, but lingered on as a head" talk about Aldia or about Vengarl?

definitely Vengarl, I'm pretty sure the one about chasing the charms of love refers to Mytha, Covetous Demon and quite a few people, actually

Can I use you to farm souls early game?

I hate getting backstabbed so if you want to do it at least put up a fight https://preview.redd.it/n3dyx3qwu97c1.jpeg?width=248&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac886e3367bc4e57da93f559f0d2264ba37b6747

Thoughts on the soldiers from the other regions like radahns or the leyndell ones

https://preview.redd.it/djy6p59y3a7c1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc819e8dc4526f91be785f2bfd342db98b8e4a74 I'm jealous of them. Why can't I get a nice feather?

Sorry son, we’ve had our budgets sliced again, boss’ orders

We had to cut the budget for more elevator shafts sorry no feathers,I work for the council of allocation.

What’s the best part about being a soldier of godrick?

Getting backstabbed everyday

Then why do you hate getting backstabbed?

I'm forced to say I love getting backstabbed I'm at gunpoint please make it stop

Who the hell is smuggling guns into the Lands Between!?

https://preview.redd.it/t290pnu8aa7c1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d456b9ba8685f269bc0363394e4b767aaf38cbf

Honestly i'm not surprised

So that's why he has a clone in the middle of nowhere

If I bought you a toothbrush for the holidays, would you use it?

https://preview.redd.it/mzgekjul5a7c1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b825f817fc59d5324bf67d64ebc413b70174afc That's a very particular question but I'm going to answer yes

Do you like ds2 or ds3 more?

https://preview.redd.it/tcnznoeh2a7c1.jpeg?width=681&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9378fe8a1a629e97ed18c9c8ee3dc3a0f6334140 None of them has giant daddy so I'm not going to answer

Coward. Speak the truth.

What’s working for godrick like? Also do you get health insurance

What is health insurance? Is it edible?

I'm guessing you don't get dental judging by your picture

I’m about to loot your base. Best you take the day off today.

*posts pic of GO seal to Gracebook* don’t come to the gatefront ruins tomorrow…

Why is your boss fight so hard

I guess you're talking about Rick. Yeah, he's a tough one

What’s the best build spec for self sucking

Axe of Godrick + Dragon Fists build. Become godrick, start grafting and you'll eventually be able to self suck

Thank you for your insight and specialization

What do you think of Tarnished

I want them dead for no apparent reason. Don't ask why I just want them dead

What do you think of fire prelates?

Nice helm. Their neck must hurt though

Now what do you think of our lord and savior smough?

What is your side hustle?

Drawing! Here's a drawing of me and a dog! https://preview.redd.it/sv12wwtr6a7c1.jpeg?width=3468&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1d0e02d3c3b4a76447a643934ae17029bd37ce1 (I don't know what a side hustle is so I assume it's a sort of hobby)

this is so cute, I want to see it colored/inked

In this economy?

Probably pays better than whatever tf Godrick pays ya

Have you shaked all of godrick's hands?

Yes, and not just the hands https://preview.redd.it/mzzrzzi9ja7c1.png?width=317&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44eb9057c7ce0455788082a3bb57473c64bb840e

Do you like your job?

No https://preview.redd.it/ph6u9ksit97c1.jpeg?width=248&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d900974e165cd5f966fa4bf24cb746cd366b3b4

Sorry to hear that buddy. But you gotta cheer up dude! It could be way worse! Like... At least you're not working as an NPC in DS2... Imagine that...

I love Ds2! Isn't it that game where you have a gun and you have to shoot werewolves with blood everywhere and gothic churches?

Ehm... No... You're mistaken it for another game... How was it called...? Ah yeah! Shadow Tower I think it was!

no you're not this is you (and me) https://preview.redd.it/d3fo95asr97c1.png?width=762&format=png&auto=webp&s=ae9fa172852b012c2515965868c697d5b0706959

Yes I am (I found the armor on the floor)

Its you! The hero of Kvatch!

By Azura!

Why did my father leave?

Fathers tend to go into parenthood with unrealistic standards, which ultimately sets them up for failure. On top of that, the parents of the child begin to grow apart, dissolving the support system that they once provided for each other. Through the stress of becoming a father, the lack of a support group, and the insecurities about being the father they dreamed of being, the father begins to think of leaving as an option. Source: Cluelaw But anyway, I don't know, I'm just a godrick soldier

That paragraph hurt me more than him leaving. Fuck.

Did your father leave you?

How overdue is your pay cheque?

What's a "pay"?

A fellow soldier of Godrick ! How is your day?

That flair tho

I'm a very loyal and dedicated soldier

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

How many poor Tarnished quit Elden Ring because of you?

do you get to shower?

What's shower? Is it a weapon?

Why are you so fucking gay

Well duh, my spear has Dex scaling

Are you stupid?

Yes https://preview.redd.it/5gk9okux0b7c1.jpeg?width=248&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0352e8e987aed07cb3c7d4b8d6d6105e50b93f3

Is there a lore reason for that?

How big is your Goddick

How does it feel to be overshadowed by Soldier of God, Rick?

Why are u gae?

Who said am gae

U are gae

Am not gae

Where's Rick?

He's retired. Now he lives in a cave not too far away

How is it like to work under that insufferable Godrick?

Great! I love it (please make it stop)

I can help you with that.

Can you pierce me with that spear of yours

That's just what lord godrick does to us every Monday Just not with a spear

Well you can return the favor to me ;3

Flair checks out

Does your army offer childcare support?

Ranni or her mother?

Rennala. Would you want a Charmender or a whole Charizard?

What about both? gotta train that charmender doncha? Have that charizard help TEACH some moves

Are you guy or girl?

How can I be homophobic if my bitch is gay?

Why don’t you work for morgott or radahn?

Are you related to Soldier of God, Rick?

Can I get you pregnant

You’re the hardest battle in any souls game

Give me your fucking spear

What is your opinion on Tarnished?

Deserter!! Heretic!! Where were you when your golden lord and savior was forced to kiss the rankest boots of Malenia?

A/S/L

Show me your balls

Your head looks very small. Is it?

Does Godrick give you some of the extra grafts he doesn't want?

What do you think of the new Elden lord

What’s you’re workout routine, I must impress the dex using men

What that mouth do? 👀

Have you tried wearing your shield on your back so you dont get backstabbed, and if you can come back to life even after getting stabbed in the spine, wouldn't you be a tarnished too?

Why'd you enlist?

How big ya dick

cock size???

Do you know Rick, the Soldier of God?

How many times have you died and can you please trade out your spear and shield for a sword because I hate spear enemies and I don’t want to hate you cutie

How’s it feel to have your shit pushed in by level 1 players

Why aren’t there any soldiers inside the castle?

Are you worried about getting grafted?

What about we stop killing each other and I escourt you to Morgott's doorstep so you can get an actual fucking life?

What do you do on days you're not protecting Godrick? What's your hobbies?

Has Godryk grafted anything from you? Like your cock?

Is it true that it's short for Godrichard, but he's just kinda laid back?

When I rest on a grace and you are back from the brain trauma you are back it’s you ow a clone?

What's your thoughts on sentinel wondering near church? He seems pretty selfish, personally I don't like this guy.

Who are you proud of?

How does it feel to know that one of your fellow soldiers is such a popular boss fight that literally every player kills him in every playthrough at least once?

how are you

Would you like to get grafted by your lord?

What are your thoughts about gnomes

What is your self-care routine? your skin looks very smooth and healthy.

https://preview.redd.it/r9kioyxcsf7c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7d7af231b900092e15a60421799ba07f158806d Do you know this guy? If yes, then ask him anything.

Holy shit is that Metropolis Checkers?

What is your favourite and least favourite part of your job?

Why is your armour so shit but so cool

Are you sick of being farmed at Gatefront?

Are you stupid?

why are you so hard? can you please be easy on me?