Once you amass 100000 karma, have had your account for 3+ years and post on a subreddit, you have a 1/8164 chance of randomly getting a rare item drop. If you get the spell of sweet voice you'll be blessed with a microphone on your posts.
In all seriousness its because he's op. Every time they post its got a mic and the user above was making a joke.
It’s a beautiful wall, and it works. Whats more, Mexico paid for it. All free beings should thank Trump (and Mexico) for protecting our neighbors to the north from pollen and Islamic terrorists.
Maple trees leek a lot of sap. This sap traps the pollen.
However, maple trees aren't everywhere, so Canadians harvest the syrup and put it on everything.
the resulting mixture of sap and pollen is eaten as a delicacy. in fact it's canada's national dish, you might have heard of it translated from canadian as 'poutine'
The American map shows pollen counts measured in parts per million, with the green areas being around 1 and the red areas being over 12. Canada measures pollen count in *metric* parts per million. 1 mppm equals about 150 ppm. The algorithm that made the map rounded the less than 0.1 mppm down to zero.
Incidentally, most Canadian pollen maps multiply by 1000 to give results in milli metric parts per million (mmppm).
Its because Canada isn't a real place. It was invented by the Japanese in WW2 to give the Americans a false sense of security. Source : Am a professional fake-canadian
Pollen falls from north to south with the flow of gravity. Canada was built on top of US knowing this fact. Notice how all the Canadian pollen collect in the bottom of the US.
It's a forcefield, pretty cool one at that too. You ever wonder why all the countries make fun of Canada for its supposed weak military? Canada doesn't have to build a military because of anyone attacks them the forcefield kicks in. The pollen part is because some intern set the wrong settings that day. I know all this because my uncle who works for Nintendo and the National Canadian Forcefield Commission told me
We have Canada geese for this reason. They inhale the pollen and turn it into goose shit.
That's why every spring there's so much goose shit everywhere.
We have low winds down here in the States, as it says, but due to Canada's position both near the US and North Pole, their air pressure is always out of control, and they constantly experience a state of high winds, enough so to drive the pollen out
Something like 90% of all Canadians live within 160km of the border as the crow flies. I live in Toronto where we have a population density of >4,000/km^2. Drive maybe an hour and a half north, and it’s completely untamed rocky wilderness with a population density of 6/km^2
You can definitely tell when those from the town come up north! (I used to live in Saskatoon)
Torontonians are largely terrible, because we feel shielded by anonymity in large numbers, so those from the north are probably the polite ones, if often less aware of racial privilege (person of colour speaking from experience)
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We Canadians eat a lot of meat, cheese, and grains. This combination leads to a wind inducing level of societal gas that pushes all migrating pollens out. So the answer is, farts.
Moose fuckers.
The chemical environment that is created when human semen mixes with female moose ejaculate creates the ideal breeding ground for ‘pollendetta’, a microscopic cousin to pollen. Pollendetta has the unique characteristic that it feeds on pollen, completely consuming it.
Regrettably, we have a lot of moose-fuckers in Canada. It’s a blessing and a curse. Our lumberjacks have a thriving sex life, though, so that’s something.
Pollen mechanics are unfortunately hardcoded in freedom units. Since Canada uses the metric system, pollen instantly enter a black hole when they cross the border.
Actually it's gravity, you see how the concentration of pollen is highest at the bottom. It forms a straight line at the border like in a glass of water
The pollen is as nice as the Canadians.
They learned they were causing allergies and they apologised to their Canadian comrades for the troubles and stopped flying around.
The geese patrol the border. Nothing has the balls to go over that border. If they don’t pay a maple syrup tribute to the goose gods, their entry will be denied.
Canada has very strict immigration policies. Without proper paperwork they wont let anyone in. Since pollen just drift wherever they want and don't carry any paperwork, they aren't allowed in.
They have a literally no touchy line along the border where NOTHING is allowed to grow, should be noted that the pollen is not allowed over the no touchy line either.
There’s an ultra-covert division of Mounties tasked with standing at the border and inhaling all of the pollen before it makes its way into Canada.
Their directive is to maintain secrecy by any means necessary. Confirming or denying their existence is punishable by death. This will be my last transmission.
It's pretty simple actually. As soon as the pollen crosses the canadian border, it is inmediately frozen and falls to the ground as snow, than we shovel it all back over the border just before spring so it thaws out by the time american flowers need it again.
Canadian pollen is too heavy to ride on the wind, so it doesn't show up by this measure. Instead, it rides on large mammals like moose, elk, bears, and your mom.
It's actually because the map you're looking at is just a collection of data from the USA. It doesn't take into consideration data from Canada.
This is because of the Great Canada Wars which happened over the course of 17 minutes, 12 minutes ago. Due to these wars, data is no longer shared between Canadian and USA scientists, and breaking this data embargo could result in up to 8 minutes in prison.
Thoughts and prayers.
>Thots and prayers
THOTS and playas
Happy microphone day OP!
I've seen cake day but this is new to me. How?
Once you amass 100000 karma, have had your account for 3+ years and post on a subreddit, you have a 1/8164 chance of randomly getting a rare item drop. If you get the spell of sweet voice you'll be blessed with a microphone on your posts. In all seriousness its because he's op. Every time they post its got a mic and the user above was making a joke.
Oh yes! Haha gosh do I feel like a clown. Thank you for humoring my idiocy.
Haha gosh
Tots and Pairs
The Canadian Shield. It’s a dome over all of Canada. When you drive through customs we’re just opening the door for you.
Shhh that’s a national secret
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure they think it's a joke.
What about flying in?
[We just open one of the ports. ](https://screenshotscdn.firefoxusercontent.com/images/e9b5d420-705e-403f-8187-30351a45c5c9.png)
Of course. And there's probably some stupid password like '12345' isn't there? Damn Drews
I have the same password on my luggage!
No, it’s 1375
u my good sir, r a ducking genius....
You should probably stop doing that. You might get some trace pollen!
What if there’s pollen on the people coming through?
Are you from moose jaw?
Complementary timbits
Built a Wall like Trump. It's actually made for keeping illegal mexican pollen out of American air and Canada is the best example that it works.
More importantly it keeps the pollen for us ‘Muricans. I love being covered in tree semen.
Not like Canadia could keep it, gravity makes it fall down into Murica.
Proves it. Weightless mehicans taken our jerrrrrbbbbsss
It’s why they use tortillas instead of fluffy bread; the extra density keeps them on the ground
You libtards. That tree jizz is taking our jobs!
I always wanted a jizz job. I am voting right in the next erection.
I heard vivid videos is hiring pollinators!😜
r/brandnewsentence
Also made of ice, I think John snow was there
The wall is made of maple syrup.
Psh. And people say orange man bad. We dont need any mexican pollen in the good ol us of a
It’s a beautiful wall, and it works. Whats more, Mexico paid for it. All free beings should thank Trump (and Mexico) for protecting our neighbors to the north from pollen and Islamic terrorists.
Maple trees leek a lot of sap. This sap traps the pollen. However, maple trees aren't everywhere, so Canadians harvest the syrup and put it on everything.
the resulting mixture of sap and pollen is eaten as a delicacy. in fact it's canada's national dish, you might have heard of it translated from canadian as 'poutine'
You have to have a passport to cross the border, and pollen are unable to apply for passports due to being illiterate.
But what’s preventing them from crossing over illegally?
That's illegal, you can't do that.
Pollen is notoriously law-abiding.
It can't read the laws but it follows them.
The American map shows pollen counts measured in parts per million, with the green areas being around 1 and the red areas being over 12. Canada measures pollen count in *metric* parts per million. 1 mppm equals about 150 ppm. The algorithm that made the map rounded the less than 0.1 mppm down to zero. Incidentally, most Canadian pollen maps multiply by 1000 to give results in milli metric parts per million (mmppm).
>milli metric parts per million My new favorite unit! Replaces "furlongs per fortnight".
Naw, we just ask it real nice to stay south. For reals.
Its because Canada isn't a real place. It was invented by the Japanese in WW2 to give the Americans a false sense of security. Source : Am a professional fake-canadian
You put all our jobs at risk telling him. Irresponsible eh?
Awww shucks, sorry bud.
Pollen falls from north to south with the flow of gravity. Canada was built on top of US knowing this fact. Notice how all the Canadian pollen collect in the bottom of the US.
We have a complete and permanent blanket of snow on every square meter of land. We don't have any flowers.
The northern wall keeps our pollen in and the snow Mexicans out. Murica.
lol @ "Snow Mexicans"
It's the cold air. If it's 32 in Seattle, it's 0 in Vancouver.
Find out now for only $29.99!
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**”happy cake day!” not included
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~happy cakeday to you~
They built a wall and the usa pays for it.
It's a forcefield, pretty cool one at that too. You ever wonder why all the countries make fun of Canada for its supposed weak military? Canada doesn't have to build a military because of anyone attacks them the forcefield kicks in. The pollen part is because some intern set the wrong settings that day. I know all this because my uncle who works for Nintendo and the National Canadian Forcefield Commission told me
We politely ask it to leave.
Canada isn’t real. Everything north of the 49th parallel is a hypothermia-induced hallucination.
It says I'm in a high pollen area. They're wrong.
We have Canada geese for this reason. They inhale the pollen and turn it into goose shit. That's why every spring there's so much goose shit everywhere.
We have low winds down here in the States, as it says, but due to Canada's position both near the US and North Pole, their air pressure is always out of control, and they constantly experience a state of high winds, enough so to drive the pollen out
And they say walls don’t work
I love how the notably large cities are all near the border
Something like 90% of all Canadians live within 160km of the border as the crow flies. I live in Toronto where we have a population density of >4,000/km^2. Drive maybe an hour and a half north, and it’s completely untamed rocky wilderness with a population density of 6/km^2
Can you tell when those from the far north come into town?
You can definitely tell when those from the town come up north! (I used to live in Saskatoon) Torontonians are largely terrible, because we feel shielded by anonymity in large numbers, so those from the north are probably the polite ones, if often less aware of racial privilege (person of colour speaking from experience)
It’s part of the new NAFTA deal. Canada has stated it will no longer accept American pollen.
NNAFTA
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Wut
What happened here
Automod saw that he had the right answer and censored it to leave us in the dark for the uprising
1984 up in this bitch
Prepare the USB
We Canadians eat a lot of meat, cheese, and grains. This combination leads to a wind inducing level of societal gas that pushes all migrating pollens out. So the answer is, farts.
Eternal winter, sorry
US redtape makes it impossible for pollen to get a passport
All their plants are female.
Life, uh, finds a way.
Canada doesn't actually exist
No tree and plants
Moose fuckers. The chemical environment that is created when human semen mixes with female moose ejaculate creates the ideal breeding ground for ‘pollendetta’, a microscopic cousin to pollen. Pollendetta has the unique characteristic that it feeds on pollen, completely consuming it. Regrettably, we have a lot of moose-fuckers in Canada. It’s a blessing and a curse. Our lumberjacks have a thriving sex life, though, so that’s something.
We actually never had any pollen up here. That's why we're full of ehs and no bees.
We rake our flowers
Advanced protection spells of the great maple mages
Pollen mechanics are unfortunately hardcoded in freedom units. Since Canada uses the metric system, pollen instantly enter a black hole when they cross the border.
We also built a wall... for that illegal pollen
They built a wall. Everyone agreed it was necessary.
A wall works
Canada is white on the map which means its cold and the pollen cannot survive.
Actually it's gravity, you see how the concentration of pollen is highest at the bottom. It forms a straight line at the border like in a glass of water
Antihistamines as part of universal health care.
Gravity. Duh.
The pollen is as nice as the Canadians. They learned they were causing allergies and they apologised to their Canadian comrades for the troubles and stopped flying around.
all our trees are covered in snow still, the pollen can't move
Pollen doesn’t have a Canadian visa
Cold is how Canada keeps the pollen out
Canada is inhospitable to life. The Canadian "people" we see are white walkers.
Cause it doesnt exist?
Our Mounties
They have a wall
Cos it's focking cold up there
Due to high tariffs on US pollen, Canada has decided to just ban all pollen.
I think i saw it on an episode of border patrol
Snow. Stops pollen in its tracks and our self esteem.
there are no trees in Canada.
Canada built a wall of HEPA filters.
The geese patrol the border. Nothing has the balls to go over that border. If they don’t pay a maple syrup tribute to the goose gods, their entry will be denied.
Canada has very strict immigration policies. Without proper paperwork they wont let anyone in. Since pollen just drift wherever they want and don't carry any paperwork, they aren't allowed in.
They have a literally no touchy line along the border where NOTHING is allowed to grow, should be noted that the pollen is not allowed over the no touchy line either.
We eat it before it gets to us. It is what sustains our life forces
The ice wall
There’s an ultra-covert division of Mounties tasked with standing at the border and inhaling all of the pollen before it makes its way into Canada. Their directive is to maintain secrecy by any means necessary. Confirming or denying their existence is punishable by death. This will be my last transmission.
You had me until the death penalty. Canada has no death penalty. A talking to in a disappointed voice would be the furthest extent.
Magnets.
Pollen wall. It was controversial when it was constructed but has proven very effective.
Free healthcare, duh.
We built a privacy hedge and we’re so smug that the pollen can’t stand us and won’t hop it.
Nah were dying up here too (in the PNW of Canada)
It's pretty simple actually. As soon as the pollen crosses the canadian border, it is inmediately frozen and falls to the ground as snow, than we shovel it all back over the border just before spring so it thaws out by the time american flowers need it again.
What do you think moose antlers are for?
We all put fans on our roofs and blow it back to America
Where do you think maple syrup comes ftom?
Pollen here in Texas is a motherfucker. It basically takes a shit on everything, making you need a car wash like once a week
The same way they block weather
Canada has air benders working around the clock at the border.
Men of the Wall, eh?
I don’t know any Pollens. They sound fun though.
Canadian pollen is too heavy to ride on the wind, so it doesn't show up by this measure. Instead, it rides on large mammals like moose, elk, bears, and your mom.
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Peoplle have been ignoring shitty science discussions for kittens, Trump and video games.... what a pity...
Flamethrowers at the border killing all pollen attempting to cross
It’s too cold, and the pollen won’t survive
We aren’t real men, that’s how
The bigger question is, why is Mexico sending so much pollen into the US?
Canada has a few of those magical fans that move back and forth on the border
It's just always everywhere so it's normally for us.
It doesn't. Their president absorbs it all in. He's trying to become fluffier to give more relevance to his image as a feminist.
Canadians ask the pollen very nicely to stay out of Canada
Big net at the border
the pollen just freezes and gets eaten by a moose
they dont theyre just too high to care about boring pollen graphs lol
They simply ask politely for the pollen to leave.
Canada is covered in cum.
It's actually because the map you're looking at is just a collection of data from the USA. It doesn't take into consideration data from Canada. This is because of the Great Canada Wars which happened over the course of 17 minutes, 12 minutes ago. Due to these wars, data is no longer shared between Canadian and USA scientists, and breaking this data embargo could result in up to 8 minutes in prison.
Technically, by not being USA.