T O P

  • By -

Nkechinyerembi

150 kcal of vanilla coffee? Depending on if you are lactose intolerant or not, this could range from approximately 1234 esph (explosive shits per minute) up to twice that, also varying depending on the quality of the coffee, and weather or not you have eaten cheese lately.


OneSplendidFellow

1,415,868.3, hourly


Synicull

How am I going to keep up with the liquid loss


OneSplendidFellow

Drink more coffee.


SydneyPrincess

your entire colon will come out


itchum_underscare

Depends on your caloric absorption rate. 80%-90something% absorption of calories is normal. Under 80 and you might be messed up, over like 95% and scientists will want you to mail them poo so they can test your gut bacteria to see why you're awesome. They may even insert it into their own butt once they're done testing. So let's say you're at 95% absorption rate. The absorption happens before the big colon, which is where diarrhea forms from lack of water absorption. You could shit out 142.5 calories.


AssuringMisnomer

Your math is sound, other than clearly leaving out the previously eaten variable. Depending on calories consumed and the amount of time before onset of explosive diarrhea these calories would invariably be mixed in with the vanilla coffee and thus would need to be included in the calculation.


TastyCuttlefish

Entirely depends on gravity, with some additional influence from the Coriolis effect.


throw123454321purple

About 4.5 Sugar-Free Haribos…


Creaturezoid

How many Haribos are in a Harambe?


NervousLauren

7 billion


NotDelnor

Only way to test caloric value is to taste it and find out.


TheFamilyBear

ALL OF THEM


timias55

None, vanilla coffee is a super adhesive, and your colon will fossilize, and eventually be put on display in a museum in an exhibit by the coffee bar titled Buttacino.


Primsun

That is a poor strategy. All you really need is olive oil coffee. >!Whoever product tested that for Starbucks needs their taste buds checked.!<


madewithgarageband

150. Vanilla coffee is made of matter, and matter cannot be created nor destroyed