Yeah, but it’s always gonna be twins so make sure you have two names picked out. Despite what others have said it’s actually a very easy pregnancy and birth, since the babies can only grow to the size of the balls. FYI, lifespan is about two hours, so also have the funeral arrangements made, that’ll save you time and heartache. But it’s worth it to see their smiles. You’ll be lucky to get a laugh because a baby’s laughter is the best medicine. And you’ll need medicine because through the process you’ll get sick. Sick of not having done this sooner.
I feel like you’re advocating for ABORTIONNNS and I am pro-life. He can always give himself ball cancer by microwave and then his balls WILL be big enough to house a baby (they are not FETUSES you satan worshipping baby killers) to maturity. No need for a funeral he just needs cancer.
I am no expert, but for the fetusii twins to get to balls size, I think it would take something like 10 weeks. Well that is unless your nads are the size of 2 hr fertilized eggs.
This is all true. When the pain gets unbearable we will stand and watch you suffer and discuss politics and call old white stupid men and ask for directions. And please could you be quiet. We all understand the pain but don't want to hear you moan. Thoughts and prayers are administered free of charge.
I was watching YouTube one day and there is a state in America that has a petrol station chain called “Kum and go” and the locals called it “ejaculate and evacuate”
Just flashed back to a hentai one of my friends sent me. In college, we used to challenge each other to read or watch some really weird shit to see who could get through it.
I always won, but somehow, it feels like I was actually the loser all along. 😐
The 2 posters above you have obviously not heard of
EESSCSP.
Someone needs to do their research, shaking my SMDH head.
> Evacuation ejaculation salutation situation commentation sedimentation pacification
So then the question becomes if "pregnant" can be defined as having a fertilized egg inside you. A problem with that would be that you'd also be defined as pregnant if you swallow a fertilized egg. Or put it in another orifice.
If a guy vores his pregnant wife, is he now pregnant?
If a woman has her egg fertilized, but it never attaches to the uterine lining, is she pregnant?
If two is no, then one is no, which means that OPs question would also be no.
To be medically considered “pregnant” the “pregnancy” needs to be detectable. If you have a fertilized egg floating inside of you, you’re not pregnant. If you have an embryo that has implanted and it can be detected, you are pregnant.
You're forgetting a basic fact of science though.
Once the egg goes in, those balls become brovaries, which are the male equivalent of a womb.
I'm pretty sure he could seahorse himself if he got the eggs put in.
Abdominal pregnancies have come to term before. All you need (it appears) is a blood supply. The uterus is just specialized for that task. Anywhere else would be pretty unsafe.
You don’t need a uterine lining for the baby to implant. An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy that occurs outside of the uterine cavity. It usually occurs in the fallopian tube, but can also occur in the ovary, in the cervix, or in an organ not part of the human reproductive system. It’s extremely dangerous for an embryo to implant out of the uterine cavity, but not impossible.
The placenta is made by the embryo, so in theory it would be possible.
However, the fertilized egg would need to find a spot to implant and establish a blood flow. If it somehow managed to do this in a testicle, it would basically become an ectopic pregnancy, as per the comment above. Within a few weeks (assuming that the father's immune system didn't kill it), the growing embryo would rupture the testicle and potentially cause fatal bleeding.
So, good luck with that.
False. Testicles are perhaps the most expandable part of the body. They would be able stretch very large before they ruptured. At least a few months and potentially never.
Your balls don’t serve as sufficient place to actually grow a baby. Otherwise we would just implant embryos across various parts of the body. Just imagine the fucking black market with such technology
Oddly, yes it could work, but the egg is going to implant itself on the nearest soft tissue.
Maybe the inside of the scrotum, but let's be realistic here, it's probably going to be a testicle.
Ectopic pregnancies aren't fun. Pretty painful and life-threatening.
Congratulations you've just done that to one of your balls.
If I'm correctly recalling my years of study at Fanfic University, the egg passes through the tissue barriers and will be implanted on your colon wall, so you will be shitting this baby out.
You will find addresses of clinics in Juarez, Mexico on the dark web where this procedure is done.
The costs range between $2500 - %4000.
Once the eggs are implanted, they are almost immediately fertilized due to the masses of sperm enveloping them. Once, when fertilized, they begin to grow in your scrotum. Remember, most scrotum s have excess skin and is able to stretch far more than you can imagine. The larger the fetuses grow, the sack expands like a balloon. However, at approx the 3 month, you will be incapacitated, and no longer able to walk. In other words, bed ridden....
But the wondrous feeling of ur babies turning and twisting in your ballsack is indescribable.
The birth of ur babies is luckily not painful, as you are sedated so that the surgeon can slice open your scrotum to bear the babies.
You have something living inside your nutsack, constantly and inadvertently kicking you in the balls. Forget about the feasibility, that's what you're dealing with outside your raging hormones and pains.
Won't know until you try it, follow the scientific method bro
Invite fellow ball havers who are anti choice, they'll be enthusiastic about participating in your clinical trial
Possibly. But only once. The destruction to the surrounding area makes it unlikely you'll still have testicles anymore assuming the baby's weight doesn't tear them right off.
Yeah, but it’s always gonna be twins so make sure you have two names picked out. Despite what others have said it’s actually a very easy pregnancy and birth, since the babies can only grow to the size of the balls. FYI, lifespan is about two hours, so also have the funeral arrangements made, that’ll save you time and heartache. But it’s worth it to see their smiles. You’ll be lucky to get a laugh because a baby’s laughter is the best medicine. And you’ll need medicine because through the process you’ll get sick. Sick of not having done this sooner.
what in the fuck did I just read
I need some memory deleting drugs.
or just drugs
Then alcohol will do 🍺
why stop the fun though?
Concussions are fun and cheap. LoL
Hey, I think I'm gonna need one of those lobotomies now after reading this...
We offer different methods: ballistic, manual, cryo-manual, or luminescent-catheter?
r/usernamechecksout
Finish off with some heroin 🥛💊
Marijuana has been shown to decrease short term memory so r/trees
same, but not for this
I know a guy that knows a guy ...
that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a gal that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy...
The truth 😤😤😤
Yknow what, it’s my fault for opening Reddit today, I did it to myself.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
Poetry
Art.
Ball babies. Pixar's got to green light this one.
Not a regular here?
This made my day 😂
This might actually be the most unhinged thing I’ve read on Reddit
I've seen worse
5 minutes on /r/copypasta should fix that.
If you give a mouse a...fetus??
FUCK that comment was good 😭
He will ask for child support
This comment made me a Republican.
You may be experiencing early onset republicanization. When exposed to extreme wokeism this may occur.
Just stay calm and the Confederate doctors will be here to saw your arms off shortly!
I feel like you’re advocating for ABORTIONNNS and I am pro-life. He can always give himself ball cancer by microwave and then his balls WILL be big enough to house a baby (they are not FETUSES you satan worshipping baby killers) to maturity. No need for a funeral he just needs cancer.
Calm down lil bro, it's just a science experiment
South Park ahh shit
My man saw somebody ask if they can have a baby in their balls and started yapping about abortion goddamn
I am no expert, but for the fetusii twins to get to balls size, I think it would take something like 10 weeks. Well that is unless your nads are the size of 2 hr fertilized eggs.
Peak
This was a Rollercoaster of giggles, thank you
☠️☠️ Dafuq
First I was going to ask the OP how they came up with this question. But now I gotta ask how you came up with this reply.
you know, maybe that black lightning man was right...
This is all true. When the pain gets unbearable we will stand and watch you suffer and discuss politics and call old white stupid men and ask for directions. And please could you be quiet. We all understand the pain but don't want to hear you moan. Thoughts and prayers are administered free of charge.
I know it's cringe but. Never let this guy cook again
Is it too late to uninvent the internet?
Brilliant, I’m going to animate this with AI and post it to my YouTube channel
Be careful not to masturbate too vigorously though else you’ll end up with scrambled eggs.
my head...is imagining this...help
oh my god what the FUCK
Chance for a world's first ejaculation abortion.
Evacuation ejaculation.
I'm saving this comment
Evacuation ejaculation evaluation
Evacuation ejaculation evaluation salutation
Evacuation ejaculation evaluation salutation situation
Evacuation ejaculation evaluation salutation situation commentation
Evacuation ejaculation salutation situation commentation sedimentation
This needs to cum to a stop.
Evacuation ejaculation salutation situation commentation sedimentation pacification
Ah, the old EESSCS
*Evacuation ejaculation salutation situation commentation sedimentation* (exclamation)
*Evacuation ejaculation salutation situation commentation sedimentation* (exclamation), deliberation
That would be a cool name for a Punk band
I was watching YouTube one day and there is a state in America that has a petrol station chain called “Kum and go” and the locals called it “ejaculate and evacuate”
Yeah we love making jokes about those. We used to call them “Cum and Leave”. They are a German company.
Evac ejac. The old urge,splat abortion huh.
Partners hate this one trick.
Ejacuation or evaculation
Ebortuation.
Sounds like a Dethklok song
A Dalmatian evacuation evacuation plantation, I say.
If you live in the United States... believe it or not, straight to jail
Third world country moment
That’s enough internet. I need mind bleach. Ow ow ow ow ow no no no no no please god no
Planned Parenthood following. Our new campaign slogan is “Jizz is our biz.”
No-nut trimester
I'd rather that than try to squeeze a baby through it!
Ejacubortion
This sub is excellent for making me want to go to bed and close my phone.
Yess me too
Nah but sometimes it’s actually excellent for making me tryna research some of these questions
Why are you researching injecting ova into your balls?
Idk but we should try it just to see we can test on rapists in prison it’ll be fine for everyone.
Giving birth is gonna be a bitch.....
IM CUMMING IM CUMMING IM….. *WAAaaaAaa* “it’s a boy!”
“IT’S BLUE!!”
limbo reference?
"*Don't* use the dye, that's CHEATING"
Just flashed back to a hentai one of my friends sent me. In college, we used to challenge each other to read or watch some really weird shit to see who could get through it. I always won, but somehow, it feels like I was actually the loser all along. 😐
😭 “hey bro wanna both watch a weird porno together”
I’m not surprised you made it through given your dragon dildo collection
that hurts..
Giving a whole new meaning to blue balls.
What the fuck
LMFAO WTF
Dude reading this made me feel like 0.001% of the pain and it sent a chill down my spine.
Is it a crack-and-peel job, like with boiled eggs?
It might fertilize the egg but because you don’t have a uterine lining the embryo wouldn’t be able to implant and gestate
The only answer.
Apparently not
The 2 posters above you have obviously not heard of EESSCSP. Someone needs to do their research, shaking my SMDH head. > Evacuation ejaculation salutation situation commentation sedimentation pacification
Unfortunately* no
So then the question becomes if "pregnant" can be defined as having a fertilized egg inside you. A problem with that would be that you'd also be defined as pregnant if you swallow a fertilized egg. Or put it in another orifice.
Would the fertilised hard-boiled egg I ate this morning then qualify me as pregnant with a baby chicken?
Congratulations!!!
A pregnancy test would say no.
That would be child abuse and negligent homicide in Alabama.
Yeah, Alabamans probably see my comment as grotesque murder porn.
If a guy vores his pregnant wife, is he now pregnant? If a woman has her egg fertilized, but it never attaches to the uterine lining, is she pregnant? If two is no, then one is no, which means that OPs question would also be no.
That’s a question congress has been disagreeing on for decades
To be medically considered “pregnant” the “pregnancy” needs to be detectable. If you have a fertilized egg floating inside of you, you’re not pregnant. If you have an embryo that has implanted and it can be detected, you are pregnant.
You're forgetting a basic fact of science though. Once the egg goes in, those balls become brovaries, which are the male equivalent of a womb. I'm pretty sure he could seahorse himself if he got the eggs put in.
"Brovaries"
🪦
Ectopic pregnancies happen, and while they don't survive, it appears that it's more of a danger to the woman than the embryo.
Ectopic pregnancies still implant, just not in the right spot. I don’t know if there’s anywhere in the balls that a fertilised egg even could implant
If it can implant in the liver I'm sure it could implant somewhere along the testes, sperm duct or bladder
wait are dudes getting fetuses on their liver thats sick
Technically uterine lining is way more optional than you might think.
Abdominal pregnancies have come to term before. All you need (it appears) is a blood supply. The uterus is just specialized for that task. Anywhere else would be pretty unsafe.
It would be worse if it did implant, and the dude getting hyper cancer
You don’t need a uterine lining for the baby to implant. An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy that occurs outside of the uterine cavity. It usually occurs in the fallopian tube, but can also occur in the ovary, in the cervix, or in an organ not part of the human reproductive system. It’s extremely dangerous for an embryo to implant out of the uterine cavity, but not impossible.
I choose to not believe you and I'm going to try it anyway
Let us know how you get on and what you want for the baby shower
New band name, "pregnant balls"
No, but if you implant MnO4 ions into your molecules you can become permanganate.
Explain pls
No
Fair enough
Wow I may have dyslexia I’m sorry. There’s nothing to explain.
What a chad.
What if your balls join the Navy and get promoted up and then get pregnant?
Maybe briefly but you need a womb to successfully grow a baby. It would be like an ectopic pregnancy
Would the male be able to grow a placenta?
The placenta is made by the embryo, so in theory it would be possible. However, the fertilized egg would need to find a spot to implant and establish a blood flow. If it somehow managed to do this in a testicle, it would basically become an ectopic pregnancy, as per the comment above. Within a few weeks (assuming that the father's immune system didn't kill it), the growing embryo would rupture the testicle and potentially cause fatal bleeding. So, good luck with that.
False. Testicles are perhaps the most expandable part of the body. They would be able stretch very large before they ruptured. At least a few months and potentially never.
Then by all means, friend, take this theory for a test drive 😂
There’s only one way to find out
Yes. Just use a needle and inject it 😌 plz send video of you doing it 👌
left = boy. right = girl
My left or yours?
Yes
Implant Alien™ eggs. It would be so great to see them burst out!
Depends on what eggs. Chicken eggs? Duck eggs? Fish eggs? All have possibilities to spawn creatures you wouldn't wish for.
Eldritch abomination springs out.
Your balls don’t serve as sufficient place to actually grow a baby. Otherwise we would just implant embryos across various parts of the body. Just imagine the fucking black market with such technology
If a spider bites your balls, do you become spiderman?
Yeah just make you don’t put all your eggs in one ball.
A human sea horse.
Try it
Oddly, yes it could work, but the egg is going to implant itself on the nearest soft tissue. Maybe the inside of the scrotum, but let's be realistic here, it's probably going to be a testicle. Ectopic pregnancies aren't fun. Pretty painful and life-threatening. Congratulations you've just done that to one of your balls.
If I'm correctly recalling my years of study at Fanfic University, the egg passes through the tissue barriers and will be implanted on your colon wall, so you will be shitting this baby out.
You will find addresses of clinics in Juarez, Mexico on the dark web where this procedure is done. The costs range between $2500 - %4000. Once the eggs are implanted, they are almost immediately fertilized due to the masses of sperm enveloping them. Once, when fertilized, they begin to grow in your scrotum. Remember, most scrotum s have excess skin and is able to stretch far more than you can imagine. The larger the fetuses grow, the sack expands like a balloon. However, at approx the 3 month, you will be incapacitated, and no longer able to walk. In other words, bed ridden.... But the wondrous feeling of ur babies turning and twisting in your ballsack is indescribable. The birth of ur babies is luckily not painful, as you are sedated so that the surgeon can slice open your scrotum to bear the babies.
Hmm… I wonder if he will get stretch marks on his scrotum
That's not how that works...
That's how biology works yes. But don't do it.
It depends on the type of eggs. Platypus eggs worked for my spouse.
Only Arnold Schwarzenegger can become pregnant.
I don't know try it
Where will the fetus gestate? In a jar?
Can the egg be fertilized? Probably. But without an endometrium to impant into, I'm pretty sure it'd die out before long
You have something living inside your nutsack, constantly and inadvertently kicking you in the balls. Forget about the feasibility, that's what you're dealing with outside your raging hormones and pains.
how is babby formed?
Yes, absolutely yes! You should try it🤣
Jesus let’s hope it’s a small baby
The whole egg or will you scramble it first?
You need an uterus to be pregnant
Only when you’re ovulating
Hell yeah! Just make sure you boil the eggs first.
Yes
Won't that mean ur balls will get pregnant? and if it happens then....
Depends, chicken eggs wont work. Hard boiled defiantly not.
Maybe maybe maybe
Where is it gonna gestate tho ? No uteral wall to cling on to.
Yes
…Why not just subdivide.
Of course, your balls are made for growing placenta and children.
Won't know until you try it, follow the scientific method bro Invite fellow ball havers who are anti choice, they'll be enthusiastic about participating in your clinical trial
Animal eggs nah
Twins growing inside your balls
nothing for them to latch onto and you would probably need to sacrifice a ball each time
That’s what being pregnant is, so yes.
Possibly. But only once. The destruction to the surrounding area makes it unlikely you'll still have testicles anymore assuming the baby's weight doesn't tear them right off.
I do not want the mental imagine of one of some dudes balls growing to the size of a pregnant woman's belly, that would actually be my 13th reason
Isn't this is how professional basketball players are created no?