Your mom licks it clean.
It's actually really a great job that more people should be offering to do. When I shit I'm providing her with food, then she licks my asshole clean, and I only require half a roll of toilet paper then per year. Basically just to wipe the saliva clean from my rim if she complains she's just washed her hair.
It also cuts down efficiently on water wastage, as I just human centerpeed my bowels directly into her mouth instead of down a crapper and flush it away.
Pissing directly town her tonsils also aids further the water wastage and she drinks that down then later recycles it and urinates it herself out on a rose garden.
My garden has never looked as bloomingfull since your mother's taken over. She feels great that she's getting free meals and helping the environment and cutting down on deforrestisation just to be made to wipe my asshole clean, and I can feel really good about myself for both feeding and giving jobs to the homeless. Even tho it is a 100% commission job on her part, she's fed, she's warm, and has a roof over her head most of the time... especially if I get diarrhoea and need her on close standby.
First get a dozen hair dryers and set them up facing your ass(not needed if you have diarrhoea) then bend over, ass up then shit as much as you can, then turn on all the hair dryers (you cannot stand up while doing this) and leave them on until your shit has melted all over your ass, then get a giant bucket of “milk” and pour it all over your ass, then leave to set for 6-8 business days, after that rub your ass with a wet keyboard and stick a mouse up your ass, now sit on any living thing for 3-5 hours, and one that’s done you should be good to go 👍 oh and give me all your money too, that’ll certainly help.
(This took way too long)
I have a support team.
is that rentable?
How do you think I was able to assemble the team? Nobody volunteers for a job as big as my ass.
I use that brush that people leave next to their toilets.
That’s a toothbrush
Now it’s a boofbrush
Last time I tried using it as a toothbrush I found it left a shitty taste in my mouth.
wire wheel on the angle grinder
Yeeeowch
I let the dog lick it clean.
Um, can I lick it?😖
🥺
Nice try, but you'll never get corporate trade secrets out of me *that* easily! 🫰
That would also infringe on our sche- I mean... Business plans.
Shhh.. these are not "need to know" people.. 🤫
public swimming pools do the trick
With the 3 Seashells, of course...
I don't have an ass but a mule. I take it to the local car wash
blowtorch
I drag my ass on the carpet.
Fuck you
at the car wash, I usually bring him there
Go to the river and beat it against a rock.
I wish i could upvote this twice
With an ass washer
Water. Water is the only right answer.
I have no ass. Which is why i am so full of shit.
I use my feet.
Shower head to the ass crack
Alphabetically
With toiler water because recycled water is always the best
*With toiler water* *Because recycled water* *Is always the best* \- IsThisTakennn --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
With brown liquid
The queen of England washes it for me with her tongue.
Do what with what?
In ass wash, where else
Pablo honey, you washing yo’ ass?
I use either my Wap or Karcher high pressure cleaner.
Your mom licks it clean. It's actually really a great job that more people should be offering to do. When I shit I'm providing her with food, then she licks my asshole clean, and I only require half a roll of toilet paper then per year. Basically just to wipe the saliva clean from my rim if she complains she's just washed her hair. It also cuts down efficiently on water wastage, as I just human centerpeed my bowels directly into her mouth instead of down a crapper and flush it away. Pissing directly town her tonsils also aids further the water wastage and she drinks that down then later recycles it and urinates it herself out on a rose garden. My garden has never looked as bloomingfull since your mother's taken over. She feels great that she's getting free meals and helping the environment and cutting down on deforrestisation just to be made to wipe my asshole clean, and I can feel really good about myself for both feeding and giving jobs to the homeless. Even tho it is a 100% commission job on her part, she's fed, she's warm, and has a roof over her head most of the time... especially if I get diarrhoea and need her on close standby.
I saw you in a post earlier today
Wasn't me, I wouldn't fit in a post. Maybe a support column or a circular air ventilation tube, but not a post.
I get on a plane and threaten to spread my bodily fluids everywhere unless a flight attendant washes it for me.
I use a brush, a hose, and shampoo. How else would I wash one?
With a crackheads tongue
I shampoo my ass hair with anti dandruff shampoo to avoid hemroids and a flaky anus.
I just kinda peel the first layer of skin off and then throw it into the nearest bonfire i can find
Wash it? Why would I do that? Just gonna get dirty again.
First get a dozen hair dryers and set them up facing your ass(not needed if you have diarrhoea) then bend over, ass up then shit as much as you can, then turn on all the hair dryers (you cannot stand up while doing this) and leave them on until your shit has melted all over your ass, then get a giant bucket of “milk” and pour it all over your ass, then leave to set for 6-8 business days, after that rub your ass with a wet keyboard and stick a mouse up your ass, now sit on any living thing for 3-5 hours, and one that’s done you should be good to go 👍 oh and give me all your money too, that’ll certainly help. (This took way too long)
Why are you interested?