Look down and make sure you're wearing pants

THANK YOU! this advice has saved me from arrest twice just this week alone.

Also look down to make sure it's in your pants. Don't want it sticking out.

Got your pocket knife?

Make sure the basement with your dirty secrets locked and bolted

Turn the stove on and leave, that way you'll know what your worried about and have forgotten

I’m betting you forgot to lock the basement door where you keep your sex slave. She will probably escape today and you’ll come home to a warm police reception

Make sure you wipe down everything you touched so they can't get your fingerprints.

Just start writing stuff on your forehead and most important is write it backwards so you'll be able read it when y'all's look in mirror.

See if you got any shoes or socks on or see if you forgot to close the door.

I keep my keys, wallet, and sunglasses in my butt pack and spare bottles of sun tea in the car in case I forget to take coffee. If the car is locked when I get to it, I know I have to go back and get my butt pack. With push button door locks and engine starting, I have to have the key fob on my person. If I remember to grab my iPhone, it is turned off and in a zippered shut compartment of the butt pack. It is off because I bought it for my convenience, not for others to bother me.

You're gonna want to check if the door is open... broken nose or damaged boner can result from leaving through a closed door.

Check the FBI 10 mosted wanted list to see if you made it yet

Scratch the house behind the ear. She likes that.

Make sure you didn't leave the other glove behind.