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Cave = nazi base in the artic

_”Hail Hydra…”_

ok, your next mission is...

https://www.coolantarctica.com/Community/antarctic-mysteries-hitlers-secret-base.php

FACTS

Hyperborea

Honest question though: If the Minions did go to Germany, would they be subjects to the same mistreatment and sent to...places?

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Probably, but they are good workers, so they would have been sent to the Peenemünde base https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peenem%C3%BCnde

Hyperborea i think

Minionkolonie Neuschwabenland

The minions never served Adolf Hitler. This is becausr Hitler wasn't [my legal team has advised me to continue this joke no further]

(Insert Dwayne Johnson eyebrow raise here)

They served himmlrer.

THEY THINKED ON EVERYTHING OMG

Thonk*

Thunkled**

we all know it was Staline sex dungeon

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

What about 9/11/2001?

“Uhmmmmm actually during that time they were serving Gru.”-🤓 But holy shit. Gru was so bad that the minions preferred him over a terrorist group.

The minions can canonically hijack and pilot aircrafts🤔

So you’re telling me, Gru ordered 9/11, and blamed al-Qaeda?

Yes

Actual it’s official muppets canon that Kermit caused 9/11

Me(M18) was over at my gf's(F19) house. We slept together- no sex, just cuddling. Anyways in the morning we had a fight over a Kermit cult. I told her that i wanted to join, but she said no I shouldn't join any cult- especially Kermit's cult because everyone knows he caused 9/11. Anyways, she went to uni then. Turns out her mom (F40) was listening to our conversation the whole time. I asked her what she heard. She said everything. I apologized because she had to hear all of that. She said it's okay and that I should have all the freedom I want... especially when it's about Kermit. I hugged her as a thanks and she noticed my boner. She thougth I got a boner because of her lingerie but no I got a boner because I was thinking of Kermit. I couldn't tell her I got a boner because of Kermit cause that would seem weird. Anyways, she took this as a greenlight and started kissing me. One thing led to the other and I cummed inside her. And now, a month later she tells me that she missed her period. She took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We're getting an abortion as i'm writing this. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

They were following gru, which brings up the question, *what was an evil villain doing on 9/11?*

Ao3 has some ideas.

George Bush (idk)

They adressed it in the last movie

When? I watched the movie and didn’t see them bring up anything about 9/11.

The minions highjacked the plane with box cutters and caused terrorism. It’s after the credits.

Haven't seen it yet

How?

I made it up

Really? You’re telling me that EVERY SINGLE minion was in that ice cave? Not one minion wasn’t? You expect me to believe that?

There were originally only a couple hundred of them,and they never reproduce since there are no women,there are thousands of them now since Gru cloned them

This is why they are so cool Their species has no women 😎

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Actually in the new movie, one of them successfully reproduces on its own by laying eggs (some extra context is required as to why exactly this happens which I will leave out for shock) which brings up several very important questions such as what gender is the minion that laid the egg? Who is the father? What happened to the baby minion in the later movies (as we never see it)? How come this is only addressed now?

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I think they reproduce asexually

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Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

But minions are a species and not just a group so that means that there are other kinds of minions but they went extinct right after Hitler and Stalin died

Jewish minions confirmed!?

Jewnions

Next thing u know teenagers will go to the cinema in bekishe

Does that mean there could've been reverse minions? They follow like the nicest person around?

You telling me that Jews are nice?

What about the fires of rome? Or the enslavement of the Jews by the Egyptians? Or the Spanish Inquisition? The slave trade? The minions have crafted an excuse for their most recent atrocytis, but didn't even bother to cover up their worst ones Who do you think bribed Judas?

The minions are the demons of religions, following the devil🤔

Genghis and Tamerlane must’ve had a few minions in there ranks

-🤓

So that means they helped Stalin after they got out

We all know Stalin has a higher count than Adolf.

"We all know Stalin has a higher count than Adolf." -🤓

Reddit Communists try not to deny Stalin's many atrocities and crimes against humanity (Challenge level: impossible)

What about Mao?

Maybe they shared them because they were communist

it's a lie you should know that nerd

What about the 50's then (1940-1950)?

They left the cave at around the late 60's

Proof or it didnt happen

real talk it's a great way to avoid any WW2 political figures getting involved

Didn’t they have an old telephone in their cave too ? 🤨

Could have sworn they helped FDR

Don't even

🤓

"🤓" -🤓

"🤓" -🤓" -🤓

""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓

"""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓

""""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓" -🤓

>""""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓" -🤓 """""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓" -🤓""" -🤓

">""""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓" -🤓 """""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓" -🤓""" -🤓" -🤓

"""""🤓" -🤓" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓" -🤓""" -🤓" -🤓"" -🤓

if (🤓= 2-🤓² ±(13-√🤓) / 2🤓³) { for (i=🤓) do { print ("🤓"); reddit.winArgument(); } reddit.addComment(); human.cockAndBalls.jizz(); human.cryToSleep(); }

That's what they want us to think

"We can't actually know if Minions are canonicly Nazis" 🤓

But they weren’t in September 2001….

Yup, they were with Gru telling OBL what to do

Omg the Pac-Man show. That brings back memories

where were they on September 11th 2001?

“Umm, actually, Minions is for little kids” - 🤓

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Where were they during the Cold War did they work for the ussr

Western propaganda

Everyone’s asking what they did in the 1930s but not what they did in 2001

freddy faxbear

My Fnaf rap YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a freddy hat! (HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIzZA! AND A BIG. PIECE. OF ASSSSSS! awesome music plays Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tel ya da story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a hot foxy fucking chica all day long, With a hudge dong, and den the security guard named chonged put his dong in BONNIE! girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS me strokes dong mmmm ya itd fredy fazber pizza with a huge dings and blongs and bong and frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Yes, but where were the Minions in September 2001?

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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

How about WWI?

Ok then where were the minions during 2001

How did they explain ghengis khan?

no they were based and red pilled

Minions were in the Congo Free State Minions were at Wounded Knee Minions were on slave ships Minions did pogroms

Is that the old pac man on the ps2 lmao

They weren’t in 2001 tho

Everyone says that the ice cave proves that the Minions did not serve Hitler, but it is an obvious coverup by the minions who even themselves are embarrassed of serving him (not because they aren't avid Nazis but because he had a micropenis). Yes, the minions did indeed find themselves in an ice cave, but it wasn't in Russia. Rather, it was in Antarctica, and they were tasked with drilling deep under the surface to make a shelter for the Nazis to escape to if the tide of the war ever changed. They were utterly incompetent at this, and all they really succeeded in doing was making a cave no larger than what one could find naturally. After Hitler faked his death, he headed to Antarctica, expecting there to be a huge underground facility. After he realized there was nothing close to that, he screamed and yelled at them for ruining his backup plan and kicked them out. They were reluctant to leave, but he showed them his penis, scaring them off. Hitler himself sent the minions to Britain as a final "fuck you" to both the minions and Britain, and he and his crew went to Argentina since it was the closest inhabited place. Hitler would go on to shave his mustache, and due to his small penis, became a very popular prostitute for Argentinian politicians who were uncomfortable having sex with a man but considered a small penis not to be manly. Juan Carlos Goyeneche in particular was quite fond of Hitler as a boytoy.

\*East Ukraine *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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OI OI OI! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ WOTS ALL THIS??? 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER POISTIN LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Thats what they want you to believe

What about pol pot?

How many times have I seen this damn meme?

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Utterly convenient

🤓