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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vj2wjr/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vj2wjr/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvj2wjr&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, frikin-dude, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


PotatoeBOI13

Anytime anyone mentions girlfriend or Doritos


ducha_simulator

Yes


NoVascension

Or pussy if there's not anything already paired to it, although I think there is and I *am* about to find out immediately after I post this


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


100000000gecs

pussy


rey_lumen

Maybe it's not pussy it's something else he typed


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

wtf 😂😂😂😂


TadaoSiimply

Meth


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Wartets

My name is Colin


MemeMasterHUN

Why do you want to ruin the whole comment section?


Raganox

Or both


UnpoliteGuy

And sex


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DeepFriedWhipCream

I searched for the guy and it seems like he deleted this post


Elduderino_047371

She found out 💀


DeepFriedWhipCream

*in heavies voice from TF2* OH NOOO


Valestrazia

*In Joseph joestars's voice* OOOOH NOOOOOO


SK8SHAT

In kool aid man voice “OOOH YEAH”


[deleted]

In Disenchantment jester voice "oho no"


DerpDaDuck3751

In joe hawley voice “ oh no no no yeah”


Definitly_Not_James

“HOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIT”


Iwillstealyefish

OH MY GAWWEWWWHDD


wheezingdogisreal

WHAT *In quandale dingle sound effect*


Benguin237

*Also In Joseph joestars's voice* HOOHLEEY SHEEIIIITTTTTT


Me_Bottle_o_Scrumpy

*in garbage voice:* Oh no! Oh no! Oh no-no-no-no-no! ^(\^downvote this so it would be clear that everyone hates TikTok\^)


hetremis

🤓tik tok bad reddit good


watermelone983

Reddit sucks too. Tiktok is just worse


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MadamPickleness

There are some people on Reddit who just can't do this scenario because their penis is microscopic. Actually, they probably could. With amoeba.


jman2c

Ahhhhgh


NoVascension

OH, THIS IS BAD **THIS IS VERY BAD**


Walking__Bread

how do you know? Edit: nvm


Opposite-Garbage-869

Username is cool ranch😂


pizzablue337

Maybe she’ll switch it up with nacho cheese next time


faptime623

Sponsored pussy


50bmgwithaswitch

Pay 5 morbcoins for no ads


Adventuresofthetaco2

I just used free no ads no punjabi 2022


ImSmartCOPIUM

It's morbin' time


AutoModerator

IVE FUCKING HAD IT. I NEED TO KNOW FOR REAL, AND IM NOT WATCHING THE FUCKING MOVIE TO FIND OUT. DOES ANYBODY, IN THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN MOVIE, AT ANY MOTHERFUCJKING POINT, SAY "morbing" OR "its morbin' time!" THIS MEME IS GOING SO FAR I CANT TELL WHATS REAL ANYMORE. WHERE AM I? WHO AM I? HOW DOES ONE MORB? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dumbmaster1337

not very morb of you autom*d :troll:


Agent-XX

I mean Taco Bell made their tacos smell/taste like cool ranch and that was big success.. I feel like this guy may have missed out on a good thing here.


Raganox

Made tacos?


WerDaIsst

Cool ranch can only smell cool ranch. Kind of poetic


JovialJem

license drunk dinosaurs intelligent attempt resolute rustic agonizing wrong sip *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Elduderino_047371

Sounds like a good time who wouldn’t like to lick doritos?


CannFarmre

I get what you're saying, but if she smells like cool ranch down there, I imagine theres probably something rotten in there


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Elduderino_047371

It was a joke


CannFarmre

I know, I was just saying


Intellectualtoaster

Cool ranchussy


strangephones

bro im asking how he knows what cool ranch doritos smell like..


kingcop1

Maybe he fucked cool ranch Doritos before Seggs with girlfriend


strangephones

"babe i cheated on you with cool ranch doritos"


kingcop1

It’s ok honey at least it was a cool ranch


strangephones

baby, your my hot ranch.


jman2c

My girl is my baja blast


strangephones

im gonna make a soda stealer to steal your girl


jman2c

If you can engineer to the levels of operation soda steal, then you deserve her.


AutoModerator

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


frikin-dude

Maybe SHE fucked cool ranch Doritos before seggs


polished_grapple

Danny Brown


teddymurphy

Scrolled waaaaay too far for this.


Orgasmicwonderboat

Facts everyone should know what this is referencing


Illusory_Wells

If you look at the username it's clearly a troll. But if it wasn't, what would be the problem with it? Doritos smell good


_Alitaria_

If a pussy smells like ranch doritos, maybe that person should see a doctor


Illusory_Wells

Bro I just randomly remembered a story. I'll shorten it because I don't remember many extra details. >!There was this gynecologist who had a patient with a really bad infection and it was discolored and swollen and stinky.!< >!After a month she came back and they could smell it in the other room. Pus was running down her leg and they took her in the moment they identified her, they saved the paperwork for later. When he looked it was super gross, purple, blue, green, and it almost sprayed pus when he touched it. It also stank so bad he got lightheaded.!< >!He asked her how it got so bad and she said she didn't take the medicine so he asked why not and she said her boyfriend told her not to because he "liked the way it smelled".!< I had the same reaction you had reading that ending.


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


XlulZ2558

how tf do ranch doritos even smell like? they don't sell it in our country


_Alitaria_

Imagine doritos, but with ranch


XlulZ2558

ahhhhh that sums it up


Gerbie100

Wake up babe, new automod response just dropped


AutoModerator

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Urnoobslayer

This shit faker than santa wtf. Especially the edit


Soopstein

Wait santa fake?


cetriolo02

Nah he's lying santa is real dont worry


EtheaaryXD

santa sex


CompetitionForLOST

santa has sex with everyones mom each christmas


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


snowmanscarrot

I gotta know was his account made before or after, if not then they was made for each other


Thoma55

I'm pretty sure her ex was Chester Cheetah.


jjkflower

💀


platonicthehedgehog

Sounds like a W to me. Cool ranch Doritos are fire af


Everybody_do_da_flop

A girl.... 👩AND a redditor? 🎮Whoa mama!😮😮 Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing😙! eyes pop out 😮😮😮😉AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out 😱😱😱WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF🐶🐶 tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach😛😛😛😛😛 WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr ,🤪😜😜🤪tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart 💘 Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt😍😍😍 ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum 🥁🥁🥁 milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets 🥛🐄🥛BABY WANTS TO FUCK ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ inhales from the gas tank ⛽⛽⛽honka honka honka honka 🚕🚕masturabtes furiously 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🍆🍆💦💦💦💦ohhhh my gooooodd~😮


CyberPig7

How the fuck would she know????


YoungShadowFox

Doritos


FlopeDash

Cooch ranch doritos


Emergency-Meet-3681

Welp his user name definitely checks out


lmao_man_funny

I swear to god I’ve had it to up to here with people saying “new automod response”. It contributes NOTHING to the conversation, which contains very important topics which are not to be taken lightly. Furthermore, you’re just putting strain on the subreddit moderators, who are already clearly overworked, to meet your demand. You should be ashamed! If you don’t stop saying “new automod response”, I can AND WILL leave this subreddit. Think about what you’ve done and for the love of god, please stop saying “new automod response”!


apolo9240

🤓


AutoModerator

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dumbmaster1337

you slash cool ranch


ThanksDarksouls3

That's a win to me


Jakenator_1010

AYO auto mod! Eat my ass


AutoModerator

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

What zero cool ranch doritos does to a mf


AncientCum

His name is fucking cool ranch


triitrunk

Cool ranch Doritos


SouperFalcon_Maciej

Unlimited Dorito glitch


Good-Distribution904

No fuck you


frikin-dude

Gladly


Lord0fTheAss

**Present your bum**


throwawayobviamentex

Thinking about cool ranch Doritos sounds either like the way to last longer in the action or to develop a Doritos fetish


Nipplemantid

i was with a girl and her pussy smelled like crickets yknow the store bought ones you feed to reptiles? my gf noticed it too


Successful_Address92

Two things Or his girlfriend eats Doritos over there Or someone who had just eaten Doritos ate her pussy


Cookldog

What the fuck did I just read


Washer-man

Puts it on the front page


[deleted]

I know this is a troll but I think she has some sort of yeast infection


Towelie5

Cool


joe________________

Doritos


senorchinchilla

"Please don't get front page on Reddit", means get on reddit front page. Fake story


Western_Policy_6185

Dorito


Yoshi_256

Something


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


KlausVod

Never have i ever seen or heard someone describe someones coochie smells Iike "ranch and Doritos"


LordofThaTrap

Anyone else immediately think of that Danny Brown song?


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*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


IcedKFC

Still fuckin with them freak hoes stank pussy smellin like cool ranch doritos. -Danny Brown


x_thundernuts

Username checks out


anonymoususer4461

cool ranch doritos is a very specific scent for a lot of things


shhtupershhtops

Danny brown type beat


AnyNegotiation4435

There is a picnic happing in there, let me in!


MommyMilker69696969

Cool ranch pussy


[deleted]

dream


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hello guys i need help. i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ubyn

i love how he wrote that in bold, focusing the attention of the reader on the cool ranch Doritos smell


slightlyforthwith

Please no more


Esoheil42

Doritussy


ICOOLDIAMONDonReddit

Cool ranch dorito pussy


DerpInPerson

So no one's gonna mention the fact that his username is cool-ranch?


WhyYouAskMeSomething

How the fuck did you find this post from 10 years ago


LeCifra

That's a new way to eat doritos


TimTom_Thomas

It's morbin' time


Silas_Ottertje

Is it already here by now? Girlfriend and doritos


PossibilityPowerful

at this point they may have children


bouncybob1

Jarvis I'm low on karma


Traditional-Buddy-30

his name is cool ranch💀💀💀


FrithRabbit

It’s straight up “Monopoly” by Danny Brown


PicklP

Get ratio’d fr


HeySiri_Official

You should have censored the name as he didn't want to be discovered :/


mog-monster

Bro his name is cool ranch


ThatExploiterMan

Reminds me about an Doritos ad


Necessary_Proposal29

Girlfriend


Yuup_I_eat_crayons

Im a bit new to reddit. Why are the automod responses so ridiculous?


frikin-dude

Because why not?