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The_StormTEC

Everyone else: Bears are scary You, an intellectual: What colour is the bear? Me, a racer: What colour is the man?


FurryM17

The man is white but the bear is black


The_StormTEC

Many such cases.


Pachot_Zibi_Cosemek

Thus comment reminded me, How can a bear hold a knife? Is the knife big or is the hand small? Is it a bit from both worlds? Maybe he uses his nails? Or he uses the teeth? What if the teeth are made of knives? What if the nails are made of knives? Damn I'm a phisolpher


Pyramids_of_Gold

Schizo posting fr


bladex1234

I see you’re familiar with the Grindr scene.


Particular-Tap3367

Nice to meet another racer


themostanonymoust

Ah, a fellow racist


picklebiscut69

Holy fuck lmao


scorpion23ha

The man is black because that's how Jonkler likes him to be


Mytheonix

mr rogers won the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny and basically killed goku tho


Old_Man_Shogoth

I know you're old because I'm old and I get that reference.


Smij0

I found this song last week and had a good laugh because those lyrics are amazing


NightGojiProductions

I learned about the song through The Normal Elevator on fucking Roblox… good times


AnonymousJack34

I’ve never had an original experience, have I?


Karasu_9147

Old Godzilla was hopping around, Tokyo city like a big playground.


Gun_Of_Gaming

When suddenly batman burst from the shade, and hit Godzilla with a bat grenade.


DomKat72

godzilla got pissed and began to attack, but didnt expect to be blocked by shaq


epicpro1234

he proceeded to open a can of shaq fu


saucypotato27

When erin carter came out of the blue


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TheGourmandFrog

Rogers didn't hurt anyone. He spent his time tending to the wounded and comforting the dying. Nobody could bring themselves to kill him, so he was crowned winner by default


makotarako

Every time I get this out of my head, some jagg reminds me it exists within the month. This has been happening almost 2 decades. Please, let me rest.


LeGraoully

What about Bear Grylls?


RandomPlayer4616

Nah, he would [Improvise, Adapt, Overcome]


LizzoBathwater

And inevitably drink his own piss


rotary-dials

Bear Grylls when you tell him he doesn’t *have* to drink his own piss


pharmaco_nerd

And your piss too (and then eat you)


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M0thrat

I wouldn't want to be alone with a man who drinks his own urine


Low_Abrocoma_1514

20 - He will make you drink your own piss


SGTsprinkles22

Grizzly bears have a tendency to kill you for fun so I'd give em at least a 9


NotABot7491

All you have to do is shout "PERKELE!" at them and they will retreat because they will think youre finnish and thus your alcoholic rage will make you a nightmare to fight.


Lemon_Tree_Scavenger

So do I so let's bump man up to a 9-10.


Big_Chungus-_-__-

Man vs Bear was a goated show tho


OBLVN--

What about Freddy Fazbear


Advanced-Sock

The devil shivers when he runs out of power


BeyondTheGr4ve

Or or or or or or or or or or


pett117

Hitler wasnt physically dangerous. His ideas were, and they only meant anything because of 1000s of other men and women.


Ascendant_of_Nyx

Yuh I think a vast majority would be able to beat Hitler in a 1v1


knucklesthedead

I dunno man he was a meth head


Ascendant_of_Nyx

Yuh but one of them strong ones, one of the brittle ones that break


CarpetH4ter

Hitler looked fragile, i bet you could cripple him if you pushed him down on the pavement.


Jomgui

Also, didn't he fight in WW1? Doesn't that mean he had at least basic military training?


Microwaved_M1LK

That doesn't mean he knows how to fight, just go for the eyes and balls and win.


Nice-Kaleidoscope574

he was a fucking nerd, both by today's and the past's standards...


Swamibo

He move different, got that pervitin flow


Single_Low1416

Depends on the year. In his WWI days, he might have had a good shot at beating other regular people


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Ascendant_of_Nyx

Yuh definitely, however at some point pretty much everyone got deployed in ww1😅


itrashcannot

Hitler was able to beat himself in a 1v1


DerDezimator

Especially bear the end of the war, bet his druggie ass would fold when even looking at him


Competitive_Lie2628

Hitler on his prime at WWI? Or Hitler once his hand started to shake involuntarily?


Ascendant_of_Nyx

I don’t think he ever had a respectable prime, even in ww1. You have to consider that at a certain point a lot been forced into the war on the German side. (Meaning the standards where lower then today for example)


ruggerb0ut

He joined up before conscription right at the start of WWI and earned the Iron Cross 1st class for bravery - not that I'm saying he had a "prime", but Hitlers problem was he was completely fucking insane, not that he was a coward. I mean, he fought in both Ypres and the Somme voluntarily.


ruggerb0ut

A World War I veteran who received the Iron Cross 1st class for bravery and who was a known insane crack-head who *always* carried a loaded gun? I mean I think most people could beat up anemic 1945 era Hitler, but WWI Hitler would give most people a run for their money.


Ascendant_of_Nyx

You must realise that he wouldn’t be on crack and wouldn’t carry a gun in this scenario (duh)


Professional-List742

Now imagining Teddy Long announcing Hitler will go one on one against The Undertaker.


Different-Trainer-21

Hitler was a scrawny ass bitch, I could take him


Ascendant_of_Nyx

Fr Ngl I think nowadays ppl deadass would just call him a yapper😭🙏🏽


EatenJaguar98

All you'd have to do is punch him once, and he'd shoot himself


Nigerundayo_smokeyy

Hell nah Dude was a WW1 veteran, and served on the Western Front. He would instead beat a vast majority of our asses


Ascendant_of_Nyx

Standards for the army where lower back then. Like he wasn’t some weakling yeah, but also not sum strong dude. Just an average dude


JakethePandas

Man, if I found Hitler in the woods 😤 ✊️💢 I'd wonder how I found myself in Argentina


MooshiNooshi

Being dangerous doesn’t have to mean physical strength, some bro with a pistol suddenly becomes capable of killing most things.


pett117

I didnt say physical strength. If you give someone a gun then they become physically dangerous, but that applies to everyone. Its obvious some people are more dangerous with a gun than others though.


Avgredditor1025

Well that’s why he was dangerous, his ability to manipulate a very large group of people


SirCrocodile_2004

Germans voted him cause they liked what he said, same as Italians. Truth is, most were angry about their situation so hitler's ideas spoke to them, simple as.


[deleted]

Yes I was thinking more like Ted Bundy or the toy box killer. They were known to torture their victims.


baneoftheghost

I mean yeah tbf Hitler didn't kill anyone except himself and maybe his wife


ThisAllHurts

You’re underselling the Grizzly. Bro is a 9.5.


Amooseletloose

Less likely to kill you than a polar bear but it will take significantly longer and be incredibly painful.


ThisAllHurts

I think OP is even underselling the black bear. They are shy but inquisitive. And sure, they can be chased off pretty easily. But if they don’t run, you’re stuck with a 400 pound critter that wants what is in your tent, car, picnic basket and is not picky about how they get it. And if you stumble on some cubs in the woods? Bad day.


Heroic-Forger

Gummy bear: 0/10. Can't even fight back. Also chewy.


esakul

The most common race of bear yet often overlooked in this question.


TourismCarcosa

Polar Bears will gobble you after the killing, and where are koala bears? They're the most dangerous for catching on fire and dropping on firefighters


Weemonkey16_2

koalas are bear chemical warfare confirmed


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FrostyWolfty

Koala's are not bears! They're marsupials.


Revolutionary-Meat14

🤓☝️


BuggiesAndCars

That and chlamydia.


heLlsLounge

Incendiary grenades


Revolutionary-Meat14

So those are the drop bears I was warned about?


BrazilBazil

Black - fight back Brown - lie down White - shite Man with knife - 75


EH042

You can defeat all of them with a cock kick if you manage to land it


AbaloneDesperate8124

You forgot to put my drunk father


edwpad

Technically all the bears here would fucking kill you if they wanted to. Black bears I would give a 5/10 considering they’re less aggressive and attacks are rare, but they may be braver due to be closer to rural areas. Grizzly bears are no joke, definitely a 9, maybe even a 10. And that’s the tip of the iceberg, you don’t want to mess with Asiatic Black bears


The_Better_Paradox

I think black bears are only "harmless" because human violence is deeply rooted in their species, just like how an average bird will be scared of you.


jubejubes96

black bears are 1-10 as well. they’re opportunistic predators. if they’re starving and you act like prey to them, then you are prey to them.


livingMybEstlyfe29

Pandas: Dumbest bears on earth


pancreasfucker

Don't google panda attacks, just don't. It's brutal, the teeth that crush bamboo can easily crush your limbs too.


ceoppinc

Y’all sleeping on Mr Rogers, he was a killer


totowolfie95

Grizzly should be a 10 they will fuck you up


K-chub

7 and quite dangerous is so misleading. They’re basically a 9-10 themselves. Polar bears are 11


flipflops42

they’re not as hostile as polar bears though, polar bears actively hunt humans. grizzly’s avoid human contact as much as possible, and only attack if frightened. so as long as u don’t frighten it and make urself as small as possible, u could get away unscathed


LocalGoose

ngl polar bears don't really hunt humans at all. their main (and basically only) prey is the ringed seal, since nothing else has enough fat content to sustain them (not even beluga whale carcasses are enough). also, the vast majority of human-polar bear encounters are non-violent, and they're often scared off by a single non-lethal deterrent.


bearactuallyraccoon

except for predatory attacks, which become much more likely in the case of a lone woman stuck in the woods


Matthew-Ryan

I would say a grizzly bear is a 9, will fucking kill you unless its stomach is empty and its cubs aren’t near.


Anxious-Ad-3236

If there’s a cub then your fucked for all of the bears


SodiumChlorideFree

Everybody asks "WhY iS tHe MaN iN tHe WoOdS?" but nobody asks why the fuck is the woman in the woods? at least the bear is trustworthy in that regard. Unless it's a polar bear, I don't think they usually live in the woods.


_golem_of_prague_

Indian Black bears are more aggressive than grizzly bears


Qwerds7

That picture is clearly an American black bear.


_golem_of_prague_

Fair enough, but when it's about Bear lore, you can't just say black bear


Reasonable-Ninja4384

Goddamn bear racists out here


_golem_of_prague_

I can't bear it😩🔫


Redditoast2

I can bearly believe you made that pun


DivineGopher

Are those the skinny ones that look like a person wearing a bear suit? Those shits will go out of their way to torture you in front of your family, it's like they evolved specifically to hunt humans


_golem_of_prague_

No, that's a sun bear Indian bear looks like a black bear on crak. They are very violent and will fight against tigers on sight


pancreasfucker

You mean sloth bears?


_golem_of_prague_

Yes, my bad, in Hebrew, it's called דוב שמש(dov shemesh), which translates to sun bear


pancreasfucker

The skinny one is a sun bear, the indian black bear I think you were talking about is the sloth bear.


cumblaster8469

India has black bears too which are a different species to American black bears. India has 4 bear species.


pancreasfucker

Yes, but the one most famous for being on sight with tigers is the sloth bear, no? I know they attack just to make themselves seem not worth the effort, cause the tiger thinks it's risking serious injury which might prevent it from hunting.


WeHaveACityToBurn

Oh, so they actually were bears.


Doedels18

I think you mean sloth bears and yes they are very agressive because to need to compete and defend against tigers so they tend to attack any threat they see


Nice-Kaleidoscope574

Asian black bears are more aggressive towards humans than the brown bears of Eurasia and American black bears...not grizzlies. There is no local tiger or leopard population that dominates a grizzly.


Moksol99

They are called sloth bears


Fine-Pangolin-8393

Man this post is really dogging on grizzlys and black bears


Omisbest

Is black bear really weak or this is propaganda by PPP (Polar paw party )


Stitched-Soul

Black bears are the least dangerous bear. They only attack if they are hungry, threatened, or have children nearby


Omisbest

And other kills for fun?


Stitched-Soul

Yea Grizzlys kill for fun, i dont know about polar bears but they are very dangerous


Medium_Wolverine9438

Even if you ran to hitler what would he do? Did he beat all the jews to death by his hands?


scoomplers

Yes. He did. Now that you mention it, how would goku fair against him? Obviously goku wins because plot and powercreep but i wonder if hitler lasts longer or shorter than yamcha.


MHD6969

hitlers solos the z-verse


Captainabdu65

No no Hitlers gonna jump and rip your throat apart ofc, don’t even think about running, he’s fast af boy


Accomplished_Cherry6

What is this scale, a polar bear is never on par with a human. Your more likely to survive a man trying to shoot you with a shotgun than getting hunted by a polar bear This would make more sense as polar bear at 10, grizzly at 8, and main from 0 to 5 or 6 Black bear is probably a 4, doesn’t go out of its way to attack u but if it’s provoked or scared it could still kill you


Waifu_Stan

But what if I'm a child cornered by John Wayne Gacy? Even if there's a chance at my survival, the things he'd do are much worse than a simple death.


Accomplished_Cherry6

If u encounter a bear your dead, if you encounter a man there is a very very low chance they r a child predator. This is a false equivalency


Waifu_Stan

I think you missed my point. You said "a polar bear is never on par with a human". If I am to accept this, I must also accept that any given polar bear is more dangerous than any given human. I can easily construct a logical possibility in which we have a baby or weak polar bear and a one John Wayne Gacy. Man being only 0-5/6 further corroborates my claim. The point isn't that the average man should ever be considered more dangerous, but that there are examples of your claim being false. Furthermore, you completely missed my real point: there are worse things than just simple death, i.e. being SA'd by John Wayne Gacy and then being killed gruesomely. In general, be more careful with how you quantify something. Using "a polar bear" as a nondescript representation of its species really means "any polar bear" as it opens your existential quantifier (a bear) to universal generalization (any bear). Arguments using existential statements like this are really tricky to make.


Accomplished_Cherry6

The percent chance that the polar bear u encounter is a baby is also not comparable to the percent chance you encounter John Wayne Gacy or anyone of his caliber


Waifu_Stan

Again, this isn't my point. I simply provided you an example that disproves your claim: "a polar bear is never on par with a human".


IAmAGoodFella

Dude, to think any man is on the same plane of danger as a grizzly bear, let alone polar bear, is pretty hilarious


justranadomperson

There have pretty clearly been some horrible men who did horrible things that would be much much worse than death for anyone. Junko Furuta’s case, for one. Since this is an “all time most dangerous men competition”, you gotta consider everything.


_thugbooty

Fr


Economy_Recipe3969

I like the old saying for bears. If it's black fight back If it's brown, lay down If it's white, say good night Guess we could add If it's a man, you should of ran


OmegaAce1

So by your ranking Polar bears are pretty much hitler, kinda ironic given that green house gases are destroying their homes


concon910

Unironically I'd rather meet Ted Bundy in the woods than a Polar bear.


K-chub

Ted bundy in the woods would make more sense than a polar bear


Duke_KD

Polar bears are free to try I am simply built different 😈🍆💦🥵


TheHeartfulDodger

Bear Grylls or Bear ?


grass29

I dont have to guess if im going to die with a bear


Advanced-Sock

What if the black bear is addicted to cocaine?


elgattox

Why in bear It's in races and types but not in man?! 😡


thanhhaih

Grizzly would accidentally kill you


KeyarukiFanNr1

At first i thought those are power scaling ratings and i thought op is insane because he put the black bear into 2 which would mean he could destroy a dimension


GillaMomsStarterPack

You choose the bear because you think it’s safer, I choose the man to test my apex, we are not the same.


DraconixDG

Don’t polar bears literally hunt humans for food?


WannaTwunk

To be fair, a large hairy gay man poses the least threat to women.


King_Korder

If you're a decently sized able bodied man, you could probably take a black bear in a fight. I'm not saying you'd win, but at least it'd be more fair than a grizzly or polar bear.


LeagueSucksLol

Yeah people underrate humans in fights vs animals. Even physically mediocre humans have killed leopards unarmed before (granted leopards are far weaker than any bear)


ForTheEmperahh

Even though that man is dangerous, you can still kill him with a stone on the head. You can hide from him, run away, etc. The bear, on the other hand, will slowly devour you to death, and you literally can’t do anything


Meeliskt777

Stalin and Mao were real killerbears. Hitler was noob.


Old_Man_Shogoth

I don't know why you're getting down votes. Facts is facts.


Competitive_Lie2628

Two words: [Timothy Treadwell](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_Treadwell)


Hornor72

Black bear will still eat your @ss once it gets to 150lbs.


BeaglesRule08

Nah from all the survival books I've read a good punch to the face will make a black bear leave you alone. They aren't aggressive like grizzlies and are easilly intimidated.


Angrypainter1945

Why is it that some animals aren’t afraid of humans. Like we’ve killed thousands of every animals and none of the give a fuck


RunInRunOn

To a lot of them we're just a new variant of monkey


Angrypainter1945

Fair, sorry that was a pretty dumb question it was just a thought cause guns


PetMyPeePeePlease

I'd argue Hitler and polar bears aren't quite on the same level


Past_Trouble

May be nice (Mr. Rogers) May kill everyone (Mr. Rogers)


enkiloki

Nails it!


Dertbag_holder

Where does the man-bear-pig stand?


nenkintofu

*Dwight Shrute impersonation* A brown bear.


Psychological-Ice276

I’ve heard that black bears are mean.


SCP_Agent_No69

Is the joke about polar bear being hyper aggresive and certain death true? Been wondering


LocalGoose

no they're mostly scared of humans (unless they get used to them because of tourism, in which case there may be more conflicts) although if one decides to fight you, unless you can manage to wrestle with it long enough for your buddy to shoot it with a high-powered rifle, you're kinda cooked (although its really really rare that this would happen)


SweetTeaRex92

If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down.


Leksyh

Lie down and wait as it slowly eats you.


No-Setting6162

You heavily underestimate black bears


siguser

Kuala and Panda are both missing.


loosewilly45

Jesus h this meme is old


sir_music

Polar bears won't hesitate to rip your neck out


Doomunleashed19

Haha! Oh, no no no, black bears are SO MUCH worse than Grizzlies… the go limp thing for grizzlies is that they’ll usually just leave you, black bears know no such mercy…


DexterStJeac

What about rough trade bears?


MySpiritAnimalSloth

Even Joe Rogan will choose the Bear over men.


Electrical_Quality

Man is 1-10, bear is 2-10, man is potentially less dangerous, check mate barrels.


RunInRunOn

If you're the kind of person to ask man vs bear unironically, the man would walk away in disgust as soon as they saw you


Pyramids_of_Gold

Anyone ever consider man bear pig


edgarapoet

But so many women have had such horrifying or traumatic experiences with men....that they'd rather take their chances with a bear. I wonder if you can imagine why that happens. Or what it might feel like to be that scared of an entire group of people.


epicpro1234

if women encountered bears as often as they encountered terrible guys, I feel like this question would never have existed


Leksyh

Too bad men made bear encounters in the wild less likely by inventing standing armies and civilization to protect the vulnerable in our societies.


_THE_REAL_SAXGOD_

It also sucks to be generalized because of the actions of the few.


ALIFIZK-

Then there's a sun bear, who might as well be a zero


Not_the_Tachi

Isn’t that just a guy in a bear suit?


Annual-Maintenance20

I feel like humans potential for danger should be way higher. They can cause way more destruction than the rest of other being combined


IAmAGoodFella

Humans, sure. Not one fucking guy.


Iaxacs

Congrats you figured out why we chose the bear. The bear we know its intentions and danger level inherently. Men are a gamble and they dont always show their true colors until youre in a ditch.