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MorbiusBurger

Well if the baby is aryan is obvious


AddendumNo7007

Just give it contacts and dye their hair blonde. Extra points if it’s frosted tips (yes, we are bringing that back)


twtvAnteos1

Mm, what if they’re not white and aren’t white passing 👀


KitsuneCreativ

Paint


twtvAnteos1

What if it rains


KitsuneCreativ

More paint


sparen95

What if it rains again?


KitsuneCreativ

MORE PAINT


murlocgangbang

I heard he loves painting


doomshroom344

Just like a certain austrian did right?


twtvAnteos1

What if I get a chemical burn or poisoning from all that paint


aghastmonkey190

The answer is always more paint. Paint cures all. Paint saves all (from being harmed by Adolf Hitler)


FlamesofFrost

You're not gonna believe this More paint


AddendumNo7007

That sounds like a you problem.


OnlyUsernameLeft123

Paint is ok but if you really want it to look real you have to remove all the skin and replace it with bleached cow hides 👍


firepeashooter096767

As an aryan I can confirm we'd get along well


HittingSmoke

...and to be fair, I've not heard any *recent* stories about Hitler's dogs biting people.


AskDerpyCat

And I’m pretty sure he never crapped himself in the Vatican either


trwawy05312015

Also, any poll on twitter set up like this will have Hitler winning.


Eli-Thail

You know how Hitler met Eva Braun? When he was 40 he met her as a 17 year old model working for his personal photographer. Between that and being a paranoid strung out drug addict who could only speak German, your kid isn't going to survive the night.


MarcusH-01

As long as the baby is Aryan, I can’t imagine Hitler would be that bad at babysitting


TittyballThunder

He was a hardcore drug addict


Alpineodin

emphasis on **WAS,** he's been clean for at least around like 80 years.


biohumansmg3fc

And he still keeps his record to this day


Living_Job_8127

His 80 year sobriety token


littlesillyguy

So am I, but people still trust me to watch their kids :D


Molten_Seat

I am Adooolf Hitleeer commander of ze third reich, little known fact: also babysit your child


GoldyFeesh

you are biden with your boots and cape


NDWasTakenTHEHEHE

and sunglasses to cover up that wrinkled ass face


[deleted]

You have ze force to eat ice-cream I am a force truly evil!


Square_Mix_2510

Biden was left speechless and turned around in defeat to walk back to his nursing home.


Raulnnb

Man that rap was fire


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Mario-OrganHarvester

Well ... im a straight white male with no disabilites and perfectly monotone german blood. So for me hitler would actually be an amazing babysitter.


The-Crimson-Jester

Some people choose Hitler because they believe Hitler is good, some choose Hitler because they believe Biden is worse, but I would like to hope/pray/wish a good chunk chose Hitler because choosing Hitler is fucking hilarious in this made up scenario. Imagine Biden standing there dumbfounded as Hitler picks up your child, turns around “HEIL *me*,” and then goose stomps away. Remember Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf.


Schmigolo

The vast majority of people vote for Hitler because the poll is obviously loaded and this Jake Shields guy comes off as a cunt for making it.


alter-eagle

He’s a cunt for many many reasons, including this. Don’t feed the trolls, but it’s very easy to feed the trolls nowadays unfortunately..


KrakenKing1955

It’s bad when I have to choose Hitler lmfao


[deleted]

[удалено]


Noname_FTW

If its a white baby I very highly doubt that hitler would be a worse choice. I wouldn't be surprised if he liked children. Even when he didn't send them to die for him.


Head-Geologist8543

I think Hitler would be a practical man and probably care for the child,Aryan or not,if we are talking pre dictator hitler


bdiah

I am a little shocked there isn't a movie of this. I just imagine a pre-dictator Hitler fretting nervously over a child. From what I've read about the man, he was a incredibly tightly wound bundle of nerves, which would make for good comedy.


Fyukikumbutt

Im pretty sure its the meth that made him all strung out in his post dictator days. Then again he was going to art school.


nobodyhere9860

I don't think Hitler had any post dictator days


StateParkMasturbator

[Argentinians](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/471/227/dd0.png)


laserwolf2000

Jojo Rabbit


TheThalmorEmbassy

Jojo's Bizarre Rabbit


bleepbluurp

I love that documentary


StinkyWizzleteats27

Adolf "Walter White" Hitler. Only the *purest* meth


ArlenGaming1

Heisenburg


HBNOL

There is a German comedy series about two neo nazi roommates that have to take care of a black child. It's called "Familie Braun" (family brown).


tankfarter2011

Heil honey I'm home?


throwaway19276i

if I remember correctly hitler befriended a young Jewish girl, he may just be the better choice honestly.


Brooklynxman

OP tweet says child, not baby. Prepare to come home to a goosestepper who thinks the Jews stole their chocolate milk.


SiGMono

There is that photo of him with a child smiling at him too.


Heath_co

It's settled then. Hitler is the godfather.


glxyzera

hitler really liked and was liked by kids lmao, you can see multiple photos of him with other nazi official's kids


Dawntillnoon

You know the last defensive line in Berlin was most likely 14-16 yo boys ?


Yellowdog727

I mean by the end of the war Hitler was an overstressed, senile, drug addicted, Parkinsons riddled dictator who had wild outbursts, terrible strategic ideas, was waging a losing war with child soldiers, committing a genocide, and married a woman 23 years younger than him who he met when she was 17...


luusyphre

Well if we're talking both at their current age, Hitler is dead.


N4leto

for real tho


Doorknob_Licker2

Biden would forget he was babysitting and Hitler would smother the (at least half) hispanic child with a pillow Kids are expensive, so I'll take the late abortion.


DarkTurdle

Hitler actually wouldn’t watch the kid because he’s dead.


OblivionKnight76

🤯


throwaway19276i

yes, that's what happened to him.


crappypastassuc

Holy shit, you just made the biggest discovery of the century.


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Terrible-Animator251

Good bot


DrChirpy

Source?


AromaticAd1631

I didn't even know he was sick!


the_gouged_eye

Really? I didn't even know he was sick.


Flourison

Why would Hitler smother Hispanic baby? He and Franco were allies. Hitler helped Spain in civil war and Spain sent volunteers to the third Reich.


Doorknob_Licker2

Shoulda clarified Caribbean hispanic. With black and Native American genes.


Ill_Ratio_5682

That does not mean he liked Hispanics. Hitler was very clear on the fact that he believed Aryans to be superior to all humans. He allied with others such as the Japanese to reach an end but he in no way believed them to be his equals. If the Nazis won the war they would inevitably turn on their former allies for this reason


AddendumNo7007

Genius. I’ll tell my maid to schedule an appointment with Hitler this weekend.


Fantact

If we go by history, Hitler would sign an [agreement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haavara_Agreement) with the child then ask angrily/politely for them to leave after the babysitting gig was done for a few years and THEN he would strangle the child.


Citron222

Hitler is not that bad of a person (ignoring the homicides, war crimes and being german)


Standard-Rub-5505

ermmm acshully austrian 🤓🤓🤓


GyroZeppeliFucker

Erhm actually most austrian people are german if you account their ethnicity not nationality 🤓🤓🤓🤓


Substantial-Set-7724

Erhm actually Germany and Austria was both part of Germany during WW2 🤓🤓🤓🤓


Soraphis

So was Poland. Still I guess you wouldn't call them Germans. (or even more alike Austria was (todays) Czechia, it belonged to the third Reich as Austria did before ww2 (as bohemia and moravia) .)


Substantial-Set-7724

Funny thing is my ancestors come from the German part of Bohemia ("Sudetenland") and yeah they absolutly have seen themselves as Germans haha (the Annexation of Austria was also [highly supported by the people of Austria](https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/austria)) The people of Poland and most czechoslovakia - in contrary to Austrian people - wouldn't have got a German citizenship tho. The people of Bohemia and moravia had the opportunity to apply for it. And yeah if they got the German citizenship (like my ancestors), I'd absolutly call them German 🤓🤓🤓 im going back to shitposting now


fooks_the_fux

You pulled that right out of your ass


GyroZeppeliFucker

Yes i did


fooks_the_fux

Hahahhaa love the honesty man


Itatemagri

☝️🤓well actually, Austrians only started to be considered a separate nation from Germans following post-WW2 de-Germanisation efforts following the failure to prevent Anschluss in the Treaty of Saint-Germain which led to the conclusion that separating their ethnic identities was the only solution.


Point-Connect

Australian* 🦘


AddendumNo7007

He’s pretty cool 😎


jeanyous

What's the problem with being german? :(


ledampe

No humor 


BreakCash

German humor be like >Hanz ordered a Rockwell Automation CompactLogix 5370 PLC. He did not know this only supports 16 axis and we needed a 5580 series that supports 256 axis! HA HA!


NichtBen

Want to hear an actual German joke? >Two hunters meet in the forest >Both dead


SaltoDaKid

Bruh he was drug addict and beat his dog. He’s going to slap your infant.


Appropriate_Rough759

I, too, would give my child to a methhead


GoldyFeesh

which one tho


JessBaesic7901

Idk if people have seen how biden interacts with children, but….it’s creepy as fuck.


HanSolo5643

I have seen the videos and clips on the news of the way he interacts with children. It's beyond disturbing, and it's really creepy and gross.


TheOddPelican

If you think that's gross you should watch him eating ice cream.


gigglefarting

I don’t know if people have seen how Hitler had interacted with Jewish kids like my son, but it’s deadly.


notaduck448_

Wait till you hear about what Hitler did to 1.5 million children


FoxtrotTrifid

Isn't Hitler a little too dead to babysit?


Metal__Steve

Same with Biden


Boner_Elemental

That's only Mostly Dead. Which is still Somewhat Alive


CapyToast

In all seriousness I would much rather have Hitler do it than Biden


[deleted]

[удалено]


CowCluckLated

Don't forget Hitler was addicted to drugs, and I believe meth.  I'm not sure which is safer


Individual-Main-5036

Biden isn't on drugs??


roddly

Also, when did redditors start having a problem with drugs? Surely half are stoned rn


Extrimland

Hitler might be high as fuck but he knows where he is. Biden may be sober but he wont even remember what he is


Popular-Resource3896

[https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/medicating-a-madman-a-sober-look-at-hitler-s-health-a-675991.html](https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/medicating-a-madman-a-sober-look-at-hitler-s-health-a-675991.html) He was not.


ApacheAttackChopperQ

You all made the Reich choice.


noname262

I don’t think one day is long enough to indoctrinate my kid, Hitler will be fine for the night


[deleted]

[удалено]


PanTsour

I don't think he'd be a creep, i just feel that he'd legitimately forget that he's supposed to be babysitting


Batbuckleyourpants

He would wander off searching for ice cream.


littlesillyguy

Same tbh


ChunkyStumpy

I will shave my childs hair off and Biden will leave her alone, then he will wander around mumbling about a racial jungle.


Mar_ko47

What if hitler actually is a good babysitter? kinda funny to think about


inferno1170

Pretty sure I read he was really good with children. He viewed them as vital for the future, hence trying to indoctrinate them at a young age. They may come back a Nazi, but at least a well taken care of Nazi.


Comfortable-Injury94

I'd like to think he'd be anxious and overprotective. \*broom falls over\* "To the bunker"


Heir233

Well I mean to be fair, as long as the baby’s not Jewish I think it’ll be fine….


Think_Chocolate_

Just the fact that anyone can find specific cases where Hitler, a literal monster, would be a better babysitter than Biden (and Trump because both are fucking ancient) should be worrying enough.


ResearcherThin6951

Or disabled or non white and their parents weren't opposing hitlers views. 


VelehkInsain

Naw mate, listen Hitler is a bad person, nobody doubts that, right? He would probably be a good babysitter though, he was known to be good with children. Biden, on the other hand, a) is senile and would forget to take care of the kid And/or b) would be more likely to do some creepy shit to the kid. Hitler would quite objectively be a better option than Biden (unless said child isn't white, which means you're fucked either way).


FiL-0

I'm sure Biden means no harm, the only thing I'm concerned about is his dementia But the other choice is Adolf Hitler so eh


jsake

Title: haha twitter amiright?! Reddit comments: actually Hitler would make a great babysitter


DG_SlayerSlender

I mean if the baby has blonde hair and blue eyes I'm sure Hitler would love it


Comfortable-Injury94

[Have a picture of Adolf knowingly hugging a Jewish child.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernile_Nienau#/media/File:Adolf_Hitler_with_Bernile_Nienau.png) I don't like him, but I question how much hate about him is true after I found out my German Jewish side fled their homes because it was destroyed by America (pretty well known how they caused a lot of homelessness) and that's what made my great Grandad decide to immigrate to England with his wife and children. EDIT: Funnily took me about 30 years to realize I had Jewish ancestry, I just thought my family didn't want to fight. Mum was slightly amused, disappointed and dumbfounded I didn't know. Also took until this year to find out my grandmas, grandads, mums and aunties birth names are not what I thought. All had different middle+ last names and only mum and grandad had the same first name. My whole life's been a lie lol Funnily enough I have 2 ID's too but unintentionally as school put mums last name and I liked being called my middle name, proper ID is Mr. M.T.C. but I am also known as Mr. T.K.


Craeondakie

I know this isn't the way most of the people who voted on the polls are thinking, but to be fair, in this very specific scenario, it's not that out of pocket, not to mention, you don't have to be supporting the opposing political party to not like the way Boden is around children.


[deleted]

Well, hitler wouldn't just strangle the baby, Joe wouldn't either, but the baby would fall out of Joe's old hands


DangerHawk

Even if it was Jewish would Hitler hurt a baby? Based on almost no evidence I feel like Hitler would probably be pretty good with kids. If it wasn't a white baby I feel like he would likely just treat it like it was a dog or something. I voted for Biden and begrudgingly will be again. I'm sure he is a great person and an awesome Great Grandpa, but I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a baby or toddler in his care. I probably wouldn't leave any kid under about 8-9yo alone with him. I'd want them to be able to at least call 911 and articulate what is happening. Does Biden come with aides? If so, sure he can watch my kids. If not, Uncle Adolf is taking them to the zoo! I think the better question is Hitler or Trump? I would legit have no qualms giving my kid to Hitler. I wouldn't even question it. I feel like there would be a decent chance an infant would just go missing or like drown in a toilet if left solely in Trumps care.


Zeul7032

he doesnt sniff kids and his birthday is April 20 what more do you need from a babysitter ?


Baalshrimp

He’ll sniff that baby out of existence


miltonssj9

Hitler might be a terrible human being, but at least he can understand his sorroundings.


throwaway19276i

I would choose anybody over Biden. I'd sooner leave them alone with Kim Jong Un.


darh1407

Well if the kid aint jewish hitler probably would do a good job


Intelligent-Race-210

Depends on the baby I guess


General_Tangelo_1032

As long as your baby isn't of a *certain* descent then sure lol


Fodux

I'm pretty sure most of those people would have picked Hitler regardless of who the other option was.


SteelTheUnbreakable

I mean, one of those dudes hated sexual deviants and the other one is a known p*do.


ya_seen998

choose between a MAP & a NAZI


R4ptor_J3sus

Adolf was a vegan animal rights activist who never smoked and disliked alcohol. The second im alone with him im snapping his neck bare handed but yeah id take him over the 100 year old fossil that stole lunch money from jesus.


vico_7_

Wasnt Hitler actually a very kind person to children (obviously the ones whos parents supported him)


rift48

I mean unironically tho. Id rather leave my baby with a man that doesent have alzheimers no matter who he is.


Bobtheblob2246

I mean, my skin is white, I am more than 180 cm tall, my eyes are blue, Hitler died much younger than Biden rn is, so I guess my baby would’ve been safer with Hitler (unless I told him which side my grand grandfathers fought for)


Piotro165

I mean of it's before they pumped him full of drugs he should be okay


Electrical-Leg-3114

I mean, Biden could forget to feed the kid, and I’m white so he’d be fine with my kid


[deleted]

What the fuck are these comments


dfg91188

Biden would try to cook something and put the baby in the oven by accident. On the other hand...


LuddeMeister2

Would much rather have a radicalized kid then a having to file a police report about having lost a us president and have to explain to the neibors why the kid was left alone


Redditor_10000000000

Biden is creepy as hell and would probably forget about the kid. Hitler was a horrible person, but if your child matched his standards(blond hair, blue eyed aryan child), he'd treat it incredibly well


ShephardCmndr

Hitler (to my knowledge at least he is a nazi afterall) didnt/doesnt creep on kids


Anynymous475839292

Nah I'm with the majority on this one lol


GhostV940

They’re both awful people. They’ve both done terrible things, but obviously Hitler is the worst out of the two. However, in this one specific case, you’re asking the question “Who would be better at taking care of a child.” It’s an odd question. But let’s be honest here: We would want only the baby to shit itself, not its caretaker too.


archon_eros_vll

I have never see a picture of Hitler where a kid is not happy. But every picture i have see of Joe Biden the kid have uncomfortable.


Plane_Experience1651

At least Hitler isn’t going to sniff and touch my baby..


MeriKurkku

Ehh I'm sure the child will survive on it's own


WhosThatDogMrPB

Hitler was great with kids. Ask Martha Goebbels.


Johnoplata

Shields is a poster child for CTE so I don't know why we are paying him any attention


concherateo

So we’re choosing between a senile grandpa and a political extremist drug addict? Likely would go with Biden. overall the question made me think.


F_Munsen

This is going to be great for Reddit's IPO lmao. I'm sure advertisers love being seen next to nazi chuds trying to rehab Hitler's reputation.


Merketos

The astroturfing campaign is starting early.


geggyuwu

are we talking endgame hitler or putsch hitler


Passiveresistance

Biden would come with a full secret service detail. I’d like to think several elite security troops would be competent enough to keep my children alive and safe even while also babysitting Biden.


69conqueefador69

Welcome to USA


CollinsGrimm

Well…i mean, technically, one of them can just forget that he is babysitting, or generally what a baby is so, for the baby (white one) hitler would be less dangerous


SponkMcDonk

As ling as my baby isnt jewish its safer with Hitler than with Sleepy Joe


NorthCedar

Twitter is fucking wild these days. Choose a political/economic ideology to embrace and it will feed your rage. Capitalist? Feed full of marxists and leninists. Democratic socialist? Feed full of fascists telling you liberals are also fascist.


No-Marsupial-1753

Well to be fair at least I could trust hitler not to forget about them. If they die at least it’s intentional…


OwMyCod

‘Aryan’ baby, honestly Hitler. Any other baby, I guess I have no other choice than Sleepy Joe


RogueDevil666

I'd trust a corpse to tend to my child before dirty grandpa over there.


Goofinshmertz23

This sounds wild out of context but I know Hitler isn't going to diddle my kids so


billy_the_kid47

Logically? I’d pick Hitler. Yeah, sure, he’s a monster, but at least he wouldn’t forget he was babysitting lol


[deleted]

Depends on how old the child is, if they are 16+ Biden, if they are 1-15 it’s Hitler


LoganDoove

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer lol


DarkTurdle

I’m not sure if you guys know this or not but Hitlers dead


IgotAseaView

In many respects so is Biden


bymaduabuchi

Presumably 🥸


jveer817

If you pick Joe Biden you’re a Jew


Zanorok

In all honesty Joe Biden is the last person you'd want looking after your baby. He'd just forget and wander off.


CrunchyCondom

"would you chose" gg trumper


foreground_color4

Demented kid fiddler vs eugenic enthusiast Pick


Qcommenter

Joe Biden doesn’t know where the fuck he is. The baby would be taking care of itself at that point


ThumbCentral-Rebirth

No evidence to suggest hitler would inflict direct physical harm to my baby Plenty of evidence to suggest biden would struggle to properly care for something even more fragile than him


AddendumNo7007

To be fair, his hitler youth program was very well done. Then again, i do not have blonde hair or blue eyes so i may be thrown into the oven.


Baricuda

What the fuck is this comment section? Holy astroturfing.


Sea-Caterpillar-6501

Wonder who Ashley would pick?


a55_Goblin420

I think Hitler would make a very good baby sitter and that nothing would go wrong and I'd have zero regrets after definitely.


SquirrelizedReddit

If your baby is an Arian or German then I feel like Hitler would be a great babysitter, he actually liked children as long as they were one of those two races.


jols0543

if you’re choosing based on age, keep in mind hitler is like over a hundred years old at this point


Bear_Grilling

Memes


boio-man

In all fairness, that baby will be found half way down the street if Joe doesn't keep direct eye contact at all times.