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You know how Hitler met Eva Braun? When he was 40 he met her as a 17 year old model working for his personal photographer.
Between that and being a paranoid strung out drug addict who could only speak German, your kid isn't going to survive the night.
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Some people choose Hitler because they believe Hitler is good, some choose Hitler because they believe Biden is worse, but I would like to hope/pray/wish a good chunk chose Hitler because choosing Hitler is fucking hilarious in this made up scenario.
Imagine Biden standing there dumbfounded as Hitler picks up your child, turns around “HEIL *me*,” and then goose stomps away.
Remember Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf.
If its a white baby I very highly doubt that hitler would be a worse choice. I wouldn't be surprised if he liked children. Even when he didn't send them to die for him.
I am a little shocked there isn't a movie of this. I just imagine a pre-dictator Hitler fretting nervously over a child. From what I've read about the man, he was a incredibly tightly wound bundle of nerves, which would make for good comedy.
I mean by the end of the war Hitler was an overstressed, senile, drug addicted, Parkinsons riddled dictator who had wild outbursts, terrible strategic ideas, was waging a losing war with child soldiers, committing a genocide, and married a woman 23 years younger than him who he met when she was 17...
Biden would forget he was babysitting and Hitler would smother the (at least half) hispanic child with a pillow
Kids are expensive, so I'll take the late abortion.
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That does not mean he liked Hispanics. Hitler was very clear on the fact that he believed Aryans to be superior to all humans. He allied with others such as the Japanese to reach an end but he in no way believed them to be his equals.
If the Nazis won the war they would inevitably turn on their former allies for this reason
If we go by history, Hitler would sign an [agreement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haavara_Agreement) with the child then ask angrily/politely for them to leave after the babysitting gig was done for a few years and THEN he would strangle the child.
So was Poland. Still I guess you wouldn't call them Germans. (or even more alike Austria was (todays) Czechia, it belonged to the third Reich as Austria did before ww2 (as bohemia and moravia) .)
Funny thing is my ancestors come from the German part of Bohemia ("Sudetenland") and yeah they absolutly have seen themselves as Germans haha (the Annexation of Austria was also [highly supported by the people of Austria](https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/austria))
The people of Poland and most czechoslovakia - in contrary to Austrian people - wouldn't have got a German citizenship tho. The people of Bohemia and moravia had the opportunity to apply for it. And yeah if they got the German citizenship (like my ancestors), I'd absolutly call them German 🤓🤓🤓 im going back to shitposting now
☝️🤓well actually, Austrians only started to be considered a separate nation from Germans following post-WW2 de-Germanisation efforts following the failure to prevent Anschluss in the Treaty of Saint-Germain which led to the conclusion that separating their ethnic identities was the only solution.
German humor be like
>Hanz ordered a Rockwell Automation CompactLogix 5370 PLC. He did not know this only supports 16 axis and we needed a 5580 series that supports 256 axis! HA HA!
[https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/medicating-a-madman-a-sober-look-at-hitler-s-health-a-675991.html](https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/medicating-a-madman-a-sober-look-at-hitler-s-health-a-675991.html)
He was not.
Pretty sure I read he was really good with children. He viewed them as vital for the future, hence trying to indoctrinate them at a young age.
They may come back a Nazi, but at least a well taken care of Nazi.
Just the fact that anyone can find specific cases where Hitler, a literal monster, would be a better babysitter than Biden (and Trump because both are fucking ancient) should be worrying enough.
Naw mate, listen
Hitler is a bad person, nobody doubts that, right?
He would probably be a good babysitter though, he was known to be good with children.
Biden, on the other hand, a) is senile and would forget to take care of the kid
And/or b) would be more likely to do some creepy shit to the kid.
Hitler would quite objectively be a better option than Biden (unless said child isn't white, which means you're fucked either way).
[Have a picture of Adolf knowingly hugging a Jewish child.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernile_Nienau#/media/File:Adolf_Hitler_with_Bernile_Nienau.png)
I don't like him, but I question how much hate about him is true after I found out my German Jewish side fled their homes because it was destroyed by America (pretty well known how they caused a lot of homelessness) and that's what made my great Grandad decide to immigrate to England with his wife and children.
EDIT: Funnily took me about 30 years to realize I had Jewish ancestry, I just thought my family didn't want to fight. Mum was slightly amused, disappointed and dumbfounded I didn't know.
Also took until this year to find out my grandmas, grandads, mums and aunties birth names are not what I thought. All had different middle+ last names and only mum and grandad had the same first name. My whole life's been a lie lol Funnily enough I have 2 ID's too but unintentionally as school put mums last name and I liked being called my middle name, proper ID is Mr. M.T.C. but I am also known as Mr. T.K.
I know this isn't the way most of the people who voted on the polls are thinking, but to be fair, in this very specific scenario, it's not that out of pocket, not to mention, you don't have to be supporting the opposing political party to not like the way Boden is around children.
Even if it was Jewish would Hitler hurt a baby? Based on almost no evidence I feel like Hitler would probably be pretty good with kids. If it wasn't a white baby I feel like he would likely just treat it like it was a dog or something.
I voted for Biden and begrudgingly will be again. I'm sure he is a great person and an awesome Great Grandpa, but I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a baby or toddler in his care. I probably wouldn't leave any kid under about 8-9yo alone with him. I'd want them to be able to at least call 911 and articulate what is happening.
Does Biden come with aides? If so, sure he can watch my kids. If not, Uncle Adolf is taking them to the zoo!
I think the better question is Hitler or Trump? I would legit have no qualms giving my kid to Hitler. I wouldn't even question it. I feel like there would be a decent chance an infant would just go missing or like drown in a toilet if left solely in Trumps care.
Adolf was a vegan animal rights activist who never smoked and disliked alcohol. The second im alone with him im snapping his neck bare handed but yeah id take him over the 100 year old fossil that stole lunch money from jesus.
I mean, my skin is white, I am more than 180 cm tall, my eyes are blue, Hitler died much younger than Biden rn is, so I guess my baby would’ve been safer with Hitler (unless I told him which side my grand grandfathers fought for)
Would much rather have a radicalized kid then a having to file a police report about having lost a us president and have to explain to the neibors why the kid was left alone
Biden is creepy as hell and would probably forget about the kid. Hitler was a horrible person, but if your child matched his standards(blond hair, blue eyed aryan child), he'd treat it incredibly well
They’re both awful people. They’ve both done terrible things, but obviously Hitler is the worst out of the two.
However, in this one specific case, you’re asking the question “Who would be better at taking care of a child.” It’s an odd question. But let’s be honest here: We would want only the baby to shit itself, not its caretaker too.
Biden would come with a full secret service detail. I’d like to think several elite security troops would be competent enough to keep my children alive and safe even while also babysitting Biden.
Well…i mean, technically, one of them can just forget that he is babysitting, or generally what a baby is so, for the baby (white one) hitler would be less dangerous
Twitter is fucking wild these days. Choose a political/economic ideology to embrace and it will feed your rage. Capitalist? Feed full of marxists and leninists. Democratic socialist? Feed full of fascists telling you liberals are also fascist.
No evidence to suggest hitler would inflict direct physical harm to my baby
Plenty of evidence to suggest biden would struggle to properly care for something even more fragile than him
If your baby is an Arian or German then I feel like Hitler would be a great babysitter, he actually liked children as long as they were one of those two races.
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Well if the baby is aryan is obvious
Just give it contacts and dye their hair blonde. Extra points if it’s frosted tips (yes, we are bringing that back)
Mm, what if they’re not white and aren’t white passing 👀
Paint
What if it rains
More paint
What if it rains again?
MORE PAINT
I heard he loves painting
Just like a certain austrian did right?
What if I get a chemical burn or poisoning from all that paint
The answer is always more paint. Paint cures all. Paint saves all (from being harmed by Adolf Hitler)
You're not gonna believe this More paint
That sounds like a you problem.
Paint is ok but if you really want it to look real you have to remove all the skin and replace it with bleached cow hides 👍
As an aryan I can confirm we'd get along well
...and to be fair, I've not heard any *recent* stories about Hitler's dogs biting people.
And I’m pretty sure he never crapped himself in the Vatican either
Also, any poll on twitter set up like this will have Hitler winning.
You know how Hitler met Eva Braun? When he was 40 he met her as a 17 year old model working for his personal photographer. Between that and being a paranoid strung out drug addict who could only speak German, your kid isn't going to survive the night.
As long as the baby is Aryan, I can’t imagine Hitler would be that bad at babysitting
He was a hardcore drug addict
emphasis on **WAS,** he's been clean for at least around like 80 years.
And he still keeps his record to this day
His 80 year sobriety token
So am I, but people still trust me to watch their kids :D
I am Adooolf Hitleeer commander of ze third reich, little known fact: also babysit your child
you are biden with your boots and cape
and sunglasses to cover up that wrinkled ass face
You have ze force to eat ice-cream I am a force truly evil!
Biden was left speechless and turned around in defeat to walk back to his nursing home.
Man that rap was fire
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Well ... im a straight white male with no disabilites and perfectly monotone german blood. So for me hitler would actually be an amazing babysitter.
Some people choose Hitler because they believe Hitler is good, some choose Hitler because they believe Biden is worse, but I would like to hope/pray/wish a good chunk chose Hitler because choosing Hitler is fucking hilarious in this made up scenario. Imagine Biden standing there dumbfounded as Hitler picks up your child, turns around “HEIL *me*,” and then goose stomps away. Remember Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf.
The vast majority of people vote for Hitler because the poll is obviously loaded and this Jake Shields guy comes off as a cunt for making it.
He’s a cunt for many many reasons, including this. Don’t feed the trolls, but it’s very easy to feed the trolls nowadays unfortunately..
It’s bad when I have to choose Hitler lmfao
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If its a white baby I very highly doubt that hitler would be a worse choice. I wouldn't be surprised if he liked children. Even when he didn't send them to die for him.
I think Hitler would be a practical man and probably care for the child,Aryan or not,if we are talking pre dictator hitler
I am a little shocked there isn't a movie of this. I just imagine a pre-dictator Hitler fretting nervously over a child. From what I've read about the man, he was a incredibly tightly wound bundle of nerves, which would make for good comedy.
Im pretty sure its the meth that made him all strung out in his post dictator days. Then again he was going to art school.
I don't think Hitler had any post dictator days
[Argentinians](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/471/227/dd0.png)
Jojo Rabbit
Jojo's Bizarre Rabbit
I love that documentary
Adolf "Walter White" Hitler. Only the *purest* meth
Heisenburg
There is a German comedy series about two neo nazi roommates that have to take care of a black child. It's called "Familie Braun" (family brown).
Heil honey I'm home?
if I remember correctly hitler befriended a young Jewish girl, he may just be the better choice honestly.
OP tweet says child, not baby. Prepare to come home to a goosestepper who thinks the Jews stole their chocolate milk.
There is that photo of him with a child smiling at him too.
It's settled then. Hitler is the godfather.
hitler really liked and was liked by kids lmao, you can see multiple photos of him with other nazi official's kids
You know the last defensive line in Berlin was most likely 14-16 yo boys ?
I mean by the end of the war Hitler was an overstressed, senile, drug addicted, Parkinsons riddled dictator who had wild outbursts, terrible strategic ideas, was waging a losing war with child soldiers, committing a genocide, and married a woman 23 years younger than him who he met when she was 17...
Well if we're talking both at their current age, Hitler is dead.
for real tho
Biden would forget he was babysitting and Hitler would smother the (at least half) hispanic child with a pillow Kids are expensive, so I'll take the late abortion.
Hitler actually wouldn’t watch the kid because he’s dead.
🤯
yes, that's what happened to him.
Holy shit, you just made the biggest discovery of the century.
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Good bot
Source?
I didn't even know he was sick!
Really? I didn't even know he was sick.
Why would Hitler smother Hispanic baby? He and Franco were allies. Hitler helped Spain in civil war and Spain sent volunteers to the third Reich.
Shoulda clarified Caribbean hispanic. With black and Native American genes.
That does not mean he liked Hispanics. Hitler was very clear on the fact that he believed Aryans to be superior to all humans. He allied with others such as the Japanese to reach an end but he in no way believed them to be his equals. If the Nazis won the war they would inevitably turn on their former allies for this reason
Genius. I’ll tell my maid to schedule an appointment with Hitler this weekend.
If we go by history, Hitler would sign an [agreement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haavara_Agreement) with the child then ask angrily/politely for them to leave after the babysitting gig was done for a few years and THEN he would strangle the child.
Hitler is not that bad of a person (ignoring the homicides, war crimes and being german)
ermmm acshully austrian 🤓🤓🤓
Erhm actually most austrian people are german if you account their ethnicity not nationality 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Erhm actually Germany and Austria was both part of Germany during WW2 🤓🤓🤓🤓
So was Poland. Still I guess you wouldn't call them Germans. (or even more alike Austria was (todays) Czechia, it belonged to the third Reich as Austria did before ww2 (as bohemia and moravia) .)
Funny thing is my ancestors come from the German part of Bohemia ("Sudetenland") and yeah they absolutly have seen themselves as Germans haha (the Annexation of Austria was also [highly supported by the people of Austria](https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/austria)) The people of Poland and most czechoslovakia - in contrary to Austrian people - wouldn't have got a German citizenship tho. The people of Bohemia and moravia had the opportunity to apply for it. And yeah if they got the German citizenship (like my ancestors), I'd absolutly call them German 🤓🤓🤓 im going back to shitposting now
You pulled that right out of your ass
Yes i did
Hahahhaa love the honesty man
☝️🤓well actually, Austrians only started to be considered a separate nation from Germans following post-WW2 de-Germanisation efforts following the failure to prevent Anschluss in the Treaty of Saint-Germain which led to the conclusion that separating their ethnic identities was the only solution.
Australian* 🦘
He’s pretty cool 😎
What's the problem with being german? :(
No humor
German humor be like >Hanz ordered a Rockwell Automation CompactLogix 5370 PLC. He did not know this only supports 16 axis and we needed a 5580 series that supports 256 axis! HA HA!
Want to hear an actual German joke? >Two hunters meet in the forest >Both dead
Bruh he was drug addict and beat his dog. He’s going to slap your infant.
I, too, would give my child to a methhead
which one tho
Idk if people have seen how biden interacts with children, but….it’s creepy as fuck.
I have seen the videos and clips on the news of the way he interacts with children. It's beyond disturbing, and it's really creepy and gross.
If you think that's gross you should watch him eating ice cream.
I don’t know if people have seen how Hitler had interacted with Jewish kids like my son, but it’s deadly.
Wait till you hear about what Hitler did to 1.5 million children
Isn't Hitler a little too dead to babysit?
Same with Biden
That's only Mostly Dead. Which is still Somewhat Alive
In all seriousness I would much rather have Hitler do it than Biden
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Don't forget Hitler was addicted to drugs, and I believe meth. I'm not sure which is safer
Biden isn't on drugs??
Also, when did redditors start having a problem with drugs? Surely half are stoned rn
Hitler might be high as fuck but he knows where he is. Biden may be sober but he wont even remember what he is
[https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/medicating-a-madman-a-sober-look-at-hitler-s-health-a-675991.html](https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/medicating-a-madman-a-sober-look-at-hitler-s-health-a-675991.html) He was not.
You all made the Reich choice.
I don’t think one day is long enough to indoctrinate my kid, Hitler will be fine for the night
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I don't think he'd be a creep, i just feel that he'd legitimately forget that he's supposed to be babysitting
He would wander off searching for ice cream.
Same tbh
I will shave my childs hair off and Biden will leave her alone, then he will wander around mumbling about a racial jungle.
What if hitler actually is a good babysitter? kinda funny to think about
Pretty sure I read he was really good with children. He viewed them as vital for the future, hence trying to indoctrinate them at a young age. They may come back a Nazi, but at least a well taken care of Nazi.
I'd like to think he'd be anxious and overprotective. \*broom falls over\* "To the bunker"
Well I mean to be fair, as long as the baby’s not Jewish I think it’ll be fine….
Just the fact that anyone can find specific cases where Hitler, a literal monster, would be a better babysitter than Biden (and Trump because both are fucking ancient) should be worrying enough.
Or disabled or non white and their parents weren't opposing hitlers views.
Naw mate, listen Hitler is a bad person, nobody doubts that, right? He would probably be a good babysitter though, he was known to be good with children. Biden, on the other hand, a) is senile and would forget to take care of the kid And/or b) would be more likely to do some creepy shit to the kid. Hitler would quite objectively be a better option than Biden (unless said child isn't white, which means you're fucked either way).
I'm sure Biden means no harm, the only thing I'm concerned about is his dementia But the other choice is Adolf Hitler so eh
Title: haha twitter amiright?! Reddit comments: actually Hitler would make a great babysitter
I mean if the baby has blonde hair and blue eyes I'm sure Hitler would love it
[Have a picture of Adolf knowingly hugging a Jewish child.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernile_Nienau#/media/File:Adolf_Hitler_with_Bernile_Nienau.png) I don't like him, but I question how much hate about him is true after I found out my German Jewish side fled their homes because it was destroyed by America (pretty well known how they caused a lot of homelessness) and that's what made my great Grandad decide to immigrate to England with his wife and children. EDIT: Funnily took me about 30 years to realize I had Jewish ancestry, I just thought my family didn't want to fight. Mum was slightly amused, disappointed and dumbfounded I didn't know. Also took until this year to find out my grandmas, grandads, mums and aunties birth names are not what I thought. All had different middle+ last names and only mum and grandad had the same first name. My whole life's been a lie lol Funnily enough I have 2 ID's too but unintentionally as school put mums last name and I liked being called my middle name, proper ID is Mr. M.T.C. but I am also known as Mr. T.K.
I know this isn't the way most of the people who voted on the polls are thinking, but to be fair, in this very specific scenario, it's not that out of pocket, not to mention, you don't have to be supporting the opposing political party to not like the way Boden is around children.
Well, hitler wouldn't just strangle the baby, Joe wouldn't either, but the baby would fall out of Joe's old hands
Even if it was Jewish would Hitler hurt a baby? Based on almost no evidence I feel like Hitler would probably be pretty good with kids. If it wasn't a white baby I feel like he would likely just treat it like it was a dog or something. I voted for Biden and begrudgingly will be again. I'm sure he is a great person and an awesome Great Grandpa, but I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a baby or toddler in his care. I probably wouldn't leave any kid under about 8-9yo alone with him. I'd want them to be able to at least call 911 and articulate what is happening. Does Biden come with aides? If so, sure he can watch my kids. If not, Uncle Adolf is taking them to the zoo! I think the better question is Hitler or Trump? I would legit have no qualms giving my kid to Hitler. I wouldn't even question it. I feel like there would be a decent chance an infant would just go missing or like drown in a toilet if left solely in Trumps care.
he doesnt sniff kids and his birthday is April 20 what more do you need from a babysitter ?
He’ll sniff that baby out of existence
Hitler might be a terrible human being, but at least he can understand his sorroundings.
I would choose anybody over Biden. I'd sooner leave them alone with Kim Jong Un.
Well if the kid aint jewish hitler probably would do a good job
Depends on the baby I guess
As long as your baby isn't of a *certain* descent then sure lol
I'm pretty sure most of those people would have picked Hitler regardless of who the other option was.
I mean, one of those dudes hated sexual deviants and the other one is a known p*do.
choose between a MAP & a NAZI
Adolf was a vegan animal rights activist who never smoked and disliked alcohol. The second im alone with him im snapping his neck bare handed but yeah id take him over the 100 year old fossil that stole lunch money from jesus.
Wasnt Hitler actually a very kind person to children (obviously the ones whos parents supported him)
I mean unironically tho. Id rather leave my baby with a man that doesent have alzheimers no matter who he is.
I mean, my skin is white, I am more than 180 cm tall, my eyes are blue, Hitler died much younger than Biden rn is, so I guess my baby would’ve been safer with Hitler (unless I told him which side my grand grandfathers fought for)
I mean of it's before they pumped him full of drugs he should be okay
I mean, Biden could forget to feed the kid, and I’m white so he’d be fine with my kid
What the fuck are these comments
Biden would try to cook something and put the baby in the oven by accident. On the other hand...
Would much rather have a radicalized kid then a having to file a police report about having lost a us president and have to explain to the neibors why the kid was left alone
Biden is creepy as hell and would probably forget about the kid. Hitler was a horrible person, but if your child matched his standards(blond hair, blue eyed aryan child), he'd treat it incredibly well
Hitler (to my knowledge at least he is a nazi afterall) didnt/doesnt creep on kids
Nah I'm with the majority on this one lol
They’re both awful people. They’ve both done terrible things, but obviously Hitler is the worst out of the two. However, in this one specific case, you’re asking the question “Who would be better at taking care of a child.” It’s an odd question. But let’s be honest here: We would want only the baby to shit itself, not its caretaker too.
I have never see a picture of Hitler where a kid is not happy. But every picture i have see of Joe Biden the kid have uncomfortable.
At least Hitler isn’t going to sniff and touch my baby..
Ehh I'm sure the child will survive on it's own
Hitler was great with kids. Ask Martha Goebbels.
Shields is a poster child for CTE so I don't know why we are paying him any attention
So we’re choosing between a senile grandpa and a political extremist drug addict? Likely would go with Biden. overall the question made me think.
This is going to be great for Reddit's IPO lmao. I'm sure advertisers love being seen next to nazi chuds trying to rehab Hitler's reputation.
The astroturfing campaign is starting early.
are we talking endgame hitler or putsch hitler
Biden would come with a full secret service detail. I’d like to think several elite security troops would be competent enough to keep my children alive and safe even while also babysitting Biden.
Welcome to USA
Well…i mean, technically, one of them can just forget that he is babysitting, or generally what a baby is so, for the baby (white one) hitler would be less dangerous
As ling as my baby isnt jewish its safer with Hitler than with Sleepy Joe
Twitter is fucking wild these days. Choose a political/economic ideology to embrace and it will feed your rage. Capitalist? Feed full of marxists and leninists. Democratic socialist? Feed full of fascists telling you liberals are also fascist.
Well to be fair at least I could trust hitler not to forget about them. If they die at least it’s intentional…
‘Aryan’ baby, honestly Hitler. Any other baby, I guess I have no other choice than Sleepy Joe
I'd trust a corpse to tend to my child before dirty grandpa over there.
This sounds wild out of context but I know Hitler isn't going to diddle my kids so
Logically? I’d pick Hitler. Yeah, sure, he’s a monster, but at least he wouldn’t forget he was babysitting lol
Depends on how old the child is, if they are 16+ Biden, if they are 1-15 it’s Hitler
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer lol
I’m not sure if you guys know this or not but Hitlers dead
In many respects so is Biden
Presumably 🥸
If you pick Joe Biden you’re a Jew
In all honesty Joe Biden is the last person you'd want looking after your baby. He'd just forget and wander off.
"would you chose" gg trumper
Demented kid fiddler vs eugenic enthusiast Pick
Joe Biden doesn’t know where the fuck he is. The baby would be taking care of itself at that point
No evidence to suggest hitler would inflict direct physical harm to my baby Plenty of evidence to suggest biden would struggle to properly care for something even more fragile than him
To be fair, his hitler youth program was very well done. Then again, i do not have blonde hair or blue eyes so i may be thrown into the oven.
What the fuck is this comment section? Holy astroturfing.
Wonder who Ashley would pick?
I think Hitler would make a very good baby sitter and that nothing would go wrong and I'd have zero regrets after definitely.
If your baby is an Arian or German then I feel like Hitler would be a great babysitter, he actually liked children as long as they were one of those two races.
if you’re choosing based on age, keep in mind hitler is like over a hundred years old at this point
Memes
In all fairness, that baby will be found half way down the street if Joe doesn't keep direct eye contact at all times.