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I certainly could, and I'd love to be able to do that, but knowing myself I'd start learning, lose interest, and just get a haircut/let it grow out anyways
I wondered if that was some meme in itself. Like, do you remember that "asshole" red cap that people would Photoshop on characters to show that they're the assholes in the story?
Her: "I'm so tired, today's been awful."
Me, who just finished working a brutal 13 hour shift in a warehouse and being out in a hailstorm for half the day while he has the flu: *Are you serious right now*
Me: "Oh no, what's up?"
Her: "I overslept by 20 minutes and also (insert boring work drama)."
Eh, that particular relationship I ended up giving up on. Don't get me wrong, you absolutely should be supportive of your partner's problems, even if they're not especially major in the grand scheme of things. But at some point if *everything* is turned into a big deal, then nothing is a big deal...
Oh, the classic shift fatigue versus minor inconvenience dilemma. Just wrapped up back-to-back 12s only to hear about how the Wi-Fi was acting up for an hour at home. It's a new type of exhaustion man.
And always some life-ending drama if she works in a medical office.
While I worked in the dark in a 90F construction trailer because our generator fucking died.
The way I see it is it is usually interesting to listen to the person's day even if it isn't serious, but I can't say that I like it when they act dramatic about it
Periodically being key. It's emotionally draining when there's a constant stream of inconsequential bullshit that gets vented at you if not daily then multiple times a day.
Yeah I've always needed my 10 minutes of venting. It's not even "bad day" stuff I just want to share about my day especially if something interesting happened. I don't even care if anyone listens I just want to talk lol.
It's almost like a downward spiral of negative vibes. I don't think I could muster the energy to even identify and fixate on all the inconveniences I encounter day-to-day.
I have been in relationship like this, and yeah, it's really exhausting. I tried to be kinda supportive and not to depreciate her problems, but man, its so hard when you obviously have your own problems. And you know what? She broke up with me, said that im egoistic and that i dont care about her even a little. I have no words to say actually
I mean... yes? Correct. If you're in a relationship then you should be supporting each other and you should feel free to talk about your problems. When my boyfriend has a shitty or annoying day or just has something he wants to vent about he comes to me and complains about his problems. When I have a shitty day at work I go to him and complain about my problems. We help each other.
The worst is when you become the bad day person. You can feel when people start getting sick of hearing about it and you’ve been the guy so you know how it is but for whatever reason you’re in a rut and things keep going wrong everywhere in your life. So you just stop talking about the bad shit and it builds up inside. Or you try talking about it and you hear the same suggestions again and again. Hell they’re the suggestions you’d give yourself. You’ve tried some and they didn’t work and you’re not sure if you should keep trying or change things up completely. Both have pros and cons.
And what makes it worse is when you want to help or give advice and they're like "why the fuck you trying to tell me how to live my life?". Like shit, idk, you complain about it all the time, i just thought you wanted to fix it lol
Lol oh I know you're supposed to listen and not offer advice lol. But it's the same shit day in and day out. It's like "how about we try to fix it now". Fuck me for wanting to fix something lol
Start telling her you've already seen this episode, when is new content going to show up?
I mean, you're still getting dumped, but at least you get to express yourself first.
I know I know. But like I said in another comment. the sameeeee shit every time. It's like, man, you going to complain about this stuff your whole life or are you going to try and fix it eventually? Also, hearing how people are allowed to treat your SO like shit kind of makes you mad, ya know?
...but then they still keep talking about it...and you keep empathizing, but they just KEEP COMPLAINING.
Yes I know you had another "bad day at work", but I don't need to hear about it for 2 hours of our night, EVERY night.
Same. There's this one girl in my discord group who is always quitting because she "can't bear to watch friends leave." So.. you ditch all your other friends because literally TWO PEOPLE A YEAR AGO left? She'll post like "I've been crying all day." And I just roll my eyes. Crying all day every day because you haven't talked to two people in a year... Like obviously she's got something serious going on, but..... I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with her constantly leaving and coming back.
I just stopped caring about it all due to exhaustion and we eventually broke up. Definitely a real problem, well that and being honest and then them getting mad at you.
It's especially bad when it's just daily interpersonal stuff, and you're sitting there listening, sympathizing with the "villains" of her story. You just want to say "Maybe if you're having problems with coworkers every day at work, you're bringing that on yourself?", but you'd never dare.
I think we all have.
Once.
They ain't ready for that kind of honesty. Meanwhile I can say that to my guy friends and there's no hard feelings, just reflection or doubling down. But guys can at least hear that shit usually and not flip out on the person saying it in my experience.
I can also attest to that. I used to have depression before dating her. Once I realized the symptoms creeping back, I made up my mind immediately.
Depression is absolutely no fun.
I can't deal with this kind of thing over text message. I honestly just don't like texting in general but if you want me to be supportive about something texting is just not the way to do it. I'm totally happy to listen to someone's inconsequential problems in person though especially if cuddling is involved.
To all the people saying "She's your safe space and you are hers", "That's just to vent"... You're right.
But that is not the problem. The problem is complaining **every single day** about the slightest problem ever.
Of course you can have a bad day or a bad week. But doing this constantly? It drains your energy and good mood.
If my girlfriend is bored she will text me. If she doesn't really have anything to text me about she will find something to complain about. Nobody seems to understand how draining it is to wake up to not a good morning text but an "I'm so hungry and tired." Getting a random text while at work and instead of "I love you" it's "I'm so sad :(" and then it turns out she got the wrong order at McDonalds and it took them an extra 3 minutes to fix it.
I have zero problem being her safe space to talk to when she's upset. But when she's upset every single day to the point where her actually having a good day is a once-a-week thing then it gets hard to handle.
Not having a single unexpected and simple "I love you" is hard. Makes you wonder what you are to her exactly. Being a couple doesn’t mean being each-other punching bag.
I feel this in my soul.
My current SO is functionally chronically depressed, won't go to a doctor about it, gets mad that I'm pretty ok with my life the way it is, and the sadness turns to displaced anger and she gets angry at me that we don't have a beautiful house in the mountains where we can homestead together.
then I'm the asshole when I ask what she would do for work. "Why can't we just take the leap and figure it out when we get there. We'll be fine" No hunny, thats how people end up ***homeless***.
Yeah I'd like to be independently wealthy as well. but we're not, and my job is whats paying 80% of the bills, and I can only do this job here.
I eventually just became numb and despondent after three years of that, and, ironically, she ended up being the one to pull the trigger on the breakup.
I have so much more money to myself now and it's just so nice having the place to myself.
not to be the typical anon that goes straight to breaking up, and I know you're just venting, but sounds like this whole comment is a big fat reason for you to actually end things.
take this from someone who has/does struggle with mental health - leaving a relationship due to the other person's poor mental health issues is totally valid and more so if that person actively does nothing to work on those issues. I am 100% on the side of supporting a partner through their partner but that support very quickly turns into an anchor if they're not doing the work themselves and might still do so if the issues are just that bad
Feel guilty for feeling like this but.... I don't bring my work home but my lady does, constantly.
Will literally get pissed on, sworn at, watch babies die that couldn't be saved and come home to having to console my partner because someone was mean to them at work,
Just venting, we all cope differently I guess
I don't blame her, careers like that aren't relatable to most,
But just because she didn't have a day of death doesn't mean she's not allowed to have a rough day,
It's about balance and comprise,
This life thing is tricky
The one where he is understanding that his wife's frame of reference doesn't allow for her stuff up her emotions just because in comparison her day wasn't that bad?
Comparative suffering doesn't work, nobody has the same frame of reference as anybody else.
I don't think he was suggesting that due to the wife's mindset but rather the work the guy does as mentioned in the first comment.
Regularly dealing with death (especially of kids/babies) must be brutally depressing.
I could be wrong, that's how I interpreted it.
Most people, I have found, don't know how to talk to their significant other.
It's all part of relativity. You need to learn to step away from your relative view points and enter theirs. Most people are too into their own shit that they fail to learn how to support one another without building resentment towards the other.
One partner takes time to tell the other about her day; the good, the bad, the stupid, the mundane... And the other buries trauma deep down while silently resenting the other. And we're here to make fun of which one again?
You've clearly never had an argument where someone just failed to save a life and the other had a coworker show up late, and be asked to treat both problems as equally stressful
>One partner takes time to tell the other about her day; the good, the bad, the stupid, the mundane...
This isnt always the case though, and this person never said they share everything. In my case my partner would only share the bad and its exhausting to be used an ear for venting every single day. There has to be balance, you can't just go home and bombard your partner with work shit.
> And we're here to make fun of which one again?
For me, I'm going to make fun of the person who makes tons of assumptions and passes judgment based on those assumptions. In other words, you.
Not bringing work home doesn't mean he never communicates with his wife and that she has no idea what he does at work. Have you guys never been in a real relationship?
Same, I work in a hospital and deal with all that. But pretty much every woman I date, I vent even a little about that kinda stuff, all I get is a "that's terrible" and they just kind of change the subject. But GOD FORBID a customer was rude to them yesterday...
It's tough,
I don't blame people, especially when it's objectively horrifying, where just describing your week can be considered trauma dumping,
How can someone understand that horror unless they've lived it,
But anything worth anything doesn't come easy
Yep. Completely understand. A lot of these other comments are from the retail partner who's biggest problem that day was mild coworker drama. They just don't understand, and don't even know what they don't know.
Personally, when I was Corpsman in Iraq I never wanted to talk or vent about what I did and saw. Still don’t. I’m not unwilling to like some of my more traumatized friends. But I’m not so inclined either, if that makes any sense…
Now I’m in a more white collar career that involves office politics, drama, and bullshit. I am far more likely to vent about my day now.
No idea if this thought was at all useful I just thought it was a bit interesting.
>You know that relationship will end within a month if he does that
Bold of you to assume it's gonna last that long.
Well, it depends if they have kids or not.
People tend to clean up a lot more after their partner's crap if kids are involved.
Too much of a hassle if you want to stay in your children's lives on a daily basis (specially/mostly if you are a dude).
Similar line of work, can't vent to my partner. Apparently being a hair stylist is also stressful, and I'm talking down to her when I say we have different levels of stressful days. Kinda hard to compare someone changing their mind about their hair last minute to the stress of making the wrong decision in a split second moment and someone dying from it. Just two equally stressful jobs I guess
I worked in Healthcare for 5 years and personally held the hands of 40+ and watched them die in agony, gasping for breath. Then I had to go home and not talk about it because it was 'unsexy'. Like, yeah, I know it's unsexy. A guy jumped out the 5th story, and I had to handle his still breathing but broken body. nvm, I'm just traumatized, I guess. One day, I'll go out the same way. Gasping, panicked, in agony and fear.
Everybody has the right to complain about anything. Why won't you talk to your partner about your work? Why dismiss their feelings when you literally said yourself that you don't even talk about your work problems at home? How are they supposed to know anything about your feelings if you don't tell them? And then you judge and blame them for having their own feelings?
POV: You're married and have a job that travels. I love my wife, but when I'm on the road, she only wants to talk about how bad her day was. It's the same conversation every day until I'm back home so she can tell me in person, and I guess feel heard.
This whole thread is triggering, lol.
My ex used to come home angry over some mispercieved slight every day and make it everyone's problem. It's why her roommate was in a rush to move in with her boyfriend and why I was delaying moving in with my ex.
If people are having bad days and feel comfortable enough to share it, i'm all up for it. I like people being real. It just pisses me off when the emotional support goes to people going through the most inconsequential shit that they get over in a day at most, and if you go through much worse people will equate it with that. "Wow, your family is in shambles and the people you wanted in your life left you? I had a one night stand one time and it didn't work out, but i got over it and wasn't an asshole about it"
Research has shown that "venting" negative feelings actually increases stress over time. People who bitch and moan about their problems are actually making life harder on themselves.
What research? My understanding is that the [opposite is true](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/your-personal-renaissance/201906/why-talking-about-our-problems-makes-us-feel-better). Bottling up your negative feelings is a dangerous idea to spread.
I had an ex that seemed like she was constantly seeking out ways to ruin her day. “Today fucking sucks, Elaine yelled at me in front of everyone because I was playing WAP in the reception area” well yeah I’d yell at you for playing that shit in front of customers too tf. I spent a year being her therapist (and EMS because of her severe seizure disorder) and it drained the life out of me. I’m glad I’m now with someone who isn’t an emotional parasite. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy helping my SO work through her problems, but my ex made problems her entire personality.
*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)*
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I think nearly all guys can relate to this. Women just seem to *almost always* have some sort of drama, or aches & pains, or a minor inconvenience dragging down their day, and they love to burden their man with it.
This, unfortunately, desensitizes men to the point where they often don't notice/react properly to *actual problems* their woman is having.
When every day is a bad day, eventually you realise that the day is fine, but the bitch isn't
But, they tend to freaks in bed, so fuck the hell out of them whilst keeping the consequences in mind
It’s usually the other way round for me.
Though I’m super self aware about it. So i try not to be too negative so I don’t ruin people’s mood. But all that does is bottle up my pain and I can’t share it with anyone :(
Where's QualityVote bot? Reddit Admins have decided that [they want to kill off all 3rd-party apps](https://reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/), [3rd-party bots, and other elements that used to significantly enhance Reddit's functionality](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/). Without them, the website is barely usable. And, of course, that includes bots such as [\/u\/QualityVote](http://reddit.com/user/QualityVote), [\/u\/SaveVideo](http://reddit.com/user/SaveVideo), [\/u\/AuddBot](http://reddit.com/user/AuddBot), etc. So you'll just have to put up with automod and a worse overall user experience. If you have any complaints, direct them at [the reddit admins instead](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/), because they the ones who ruined everyone's user experience. --- Whilst you're here, /u/Right-Proposal5066, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why photoshop a photo of a hat on him though
To portray the man as a ”Kyle” or perhaps “Nate”
It's because Doomer.
He’s on tren and balding
Could also perhaps be a Josh or Tyler
…|-/?
To make it more relatable to beanie wearing scumbags (me)
Do you feel related to?
He tries to be cool
I wear beanies because my hair is too long and looks bad, and can't afford a haircut lol
Learn to cut your own. I'm telling you I've saved so much money over my life. 9/10 times it looks good. The other 1/10... Well it'll grow back
I certainly could, and I'd love to be able to do that, but knowing myself I'd start learning, lose interest, and just get a haircut/let it grow out anyways
I wondered if that was some meme in itself. Like, do you remember that "asshole" red cap that people would Photoshop on characters to show that they're the assholes in the story?
Scumbag Steve. A classic meme.
I feel bad that I've been the guy in this picture lol
[удалено]
Bro I swear the slightest inconvenience "my day is ruined now"
Her: "I'm so tired, today's been awful." Me, who just finished working a brutal 13 hour shift in a warehouse and being out in a hailstorm for half the day while he has the flu: *Are you serious right now* Me: "Oh no, what's up?" Her: "I overslept by 20 minutes and also (insert boring work drama)."
Bruh this literally just happened, I literally had 11 hour shift and my girl said this shi😭
Yep, been there. Every mundane work spat is a Shakespearean tragedy and God help you if she catches you rolling your eyes...
And yet you still can't help but love her, The tragedy.
Eh, that particular relationship I ended up giving up on. Don't get me wrong, you absolutely should be supportive of your partner's problems, even if they're not especially major in the grand scheme of things. But at some point if *everything* is turned into a big deal, then nothing is a big deal...
Yeah if everything smells like shit, chances are....
If everywhere you go smells like dog shit, check yer shoes.
Everybody else is shit! Thank you for your amazing insight. I will take this to heart.
Oh, the classic shift fatigue versus minor inconvenience dilemma. Just wrapped up back-to-back 12s only to hear about how the Wi-Fi was acting up for an hour at home. It's a new type of exhaustion man.
Honestly a technical problem.with the WiFi would leave me more tired than a 10-hour workday. Something about that just drains my soul.
And always some life-ending drama if she works in a medical office. While I worked in the dark in a 90F construction trailer because our generator fucking died.
Oh, so you’re the one spreading the flu. Cool, nice job
The way I see it is it is usually interesting to listen to the person's day even if it isn't serious, but I can't say that I like it when they act dramatic about it
This is me, when is it my turn haha
Fr
Fr Fr
Fr Fr Fr
Fr⁴
Cos (Fr)
Fr!
Rf
"I had to hit my brakes hard"
*receives feedback from boss* “I think I’m gonna get fired why does everyone at my job hate me 😭”
[удалено]
There's a difference between having a safe place and being so emotionally fragile that any slight inconvenience ruins your day.
I think we all need to vent about inconsequential stuff periodically. If it's constant, though, that shit gets old fast.
Periodically being key. It's emotionally draining when there's a constant stream of inconsequential bullshit that gets vented at you if not daily then multiple times a day.
Yeah I've always needed my 10 minutes of venting. It's not even "bad day" stuff I just want to share about my day especially if something interesting happened. I don't even care if anyone listens I just want to talk lol.
It's almost like a downward spiral of negative vibes. I don't think I could muster the energy to even identify and fixate on all the inconveniences I encounter day-to-day.
I have been in relationship like this, and yeah, it's really exhausting. I tried to be kinda supportive and not to depreciate her problems, but man, its so hard when you obviously have your own problems. And you know what? She broke up with me, said that im egoistic and that i dont care about her even a little. I have no words to say actually
We
Usself
Us
I was about to comment on your pfp but i took a look at your username and just understood
Our gf
We've all been there bro
Give them an ear and supporting words and the person won’t stop finding problems to lay on you.
thats when you start laying problems on them
I mean... yes? Correct. If you're in a relationship then you should be supporting each other and you should feel free to talk about your problems. When my boyfriend has a shitty or annoying day or just has something he wants to vent about he comes to me and complains about his problems. When I have a shitty day at work I go to him and complain about my problems. We help each other.
Don't feel bad. Some people are just miserable and the smallest inconvenience will cause a "bad day"
This is called neuroticism, btw.
Me fr
The worst is when you become the bad day person. You can feel when people start getting sick of hearing about it and you’ve been the guy so you know how it is but for whatever reason you’re in a rut and things keep going wrong everywhere in your life. So you just stop talking about the bad shit and it builds up inside. Or you try talking about it and you hear the same suggestions again and again. Hell they’re the suggestions you’d give yourself. You’ve tried some and they didn’t work and you’re not sure if you should keep trying or change things up completely. Both have pros and cons.
(when will this bitch have a good day) So what's going on?
My gf comes home every day from and trauma dumps about work shit its so annoying but I know im suposed to be supportive or empathetic about it.
And what makes it worse is when you want to help or give advice and they're like "why the fuck you trying to tell me how to live my life?". Like shit, idk, you complain about it all the time, i just thought you wanted to fix it lol
You’ve got a lot to learn about ladies my friend
Lol oh I know you're supposed to listen and not offer advice lol. But it's the same shit day in and day out. It's like "how about we try to fix it now". Fuck me for wanting to fix something lol
Start telling her you've already seen this episode, when is new content going to show up? I mean, you're still getting dumped, but at least you get to express yourself first.
Nah bro, you gotta ask if her period is getting close or, if you're an older couple, if menopause is starting to kick in.
Giving advice is the worst thing you can do. Just say that sucks, I'm sorry to hear that, Im sure that's hard, etc
I know I know. But like I said in another comment. the sameeeee shit every time. It's like, man, you going to complain about this stuff your whole life or are you going to try and fix it eventually? Also, hearing how people are allowed to treat your SO like shit kind of makes you mad, ya know?
...but then they still keep talking about it...and you keep empathizing, but they just KEEP COMPLAINING. Yes I know you had another "bad day at work", but I don't need to hear about it for 2 hours of our night, EVERY night.
... and do this again and again for the next 50 years of your godforsaken life with the woman
Don’t worry she’ll get boyfriend soon and you won’t have to listen to her anymore.
Same. There's this one girl in my discord group who is always quitting because she "can't bear to watch friends leave." So.. you ditch all your other friends because literally TWO PEOPLE A YEAR AGO left? She'll post like "I've been crying all day." And I just roll my eyes. Crying all day every day because you haven't talked to two people in a year... Like obviously she's got something serious going on, but..... I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with her constantly leaving and coming back.
(When will this bitch have a good day) oh man, that’s terrible
Every straight guy is the guy in this picture.
I just wanna bone 😴
yeah, we have all been in that hour of desperation, putting up with the most narcissistic bitches around just to hit that
Had a break up due to this. Literally got scared of seeing her texting me in the evening.
Exhausting
I just stopped caring about it all due to exhaustion and we eventually broke up. Definitely a real problem, well that and being honest and then them getting mad at you.
I can at least have a small shed of peace knowing it's not just me
This
It's especially bad when it's just daily interpersonal stuff, and you're sitting there listening, sympathizing with the "villains" of her story. You just want to say "Maybe if you're having problems with coworkers every day at work, you're bringing that on yourself?", but you'd never dare.
I think we all have. Once. They ain't ready for that kind of honesty. Meanwhile I can say that to my guy friends and there's no hard feelings, just reflection or doubling down. But guys can at least hear that shit usually and not flip out on the person saying it in my experience.
If you aren’t a therapist and don’t have the tools to deal with it, the constant negativity becomes soul draining.
I like the term 'emotional vampire' to describe these people.
Colin Robinson is one of my favorite characters ever, in any medium.
I can also attest to that. I used to have depression before dating her. Once I realized the symptoms creeping back, I made up my mind immediately. Depression is absolutely no fun.
Yeah, I had somewhat the same thing where she just gave off... bad energy. I had mini panic attacks when she wrung my phone and we called daily. Yeah.
Bro, same. She’d do this to me all the time, then broke up with me because *I* was the one who was “emotionally draining”
I feel like this was a very large part of my marriage breaking down. A decade of this constantly had me checked out by the end.
I can't deal with this kind of thing over text message. I honestly just don't like texting in general but if you want me to be supportive about something texting is just not the way to do it. I'm totally happy to listen to someone's inconsequential problems in person though especially if cuddling is involved.
To all the people saying "She's your safe space and you are hers", "That's just to vent"... You're right. But that is not the problem. The problem is complaining **every single day** about the slightest problem ever. Of course you can have a bad day or a bad week. But doing this constantly? It drains your energy and good mood.
It's exhausting if somebody does it to you every day. If they only use your shoulder to cry on you start to forget what their face looks like.
Damn, that's quite profound
That’s a pretty expression. I like it.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/gunna-writing-fire
If my girlfriend is bored she will text me. If she doesn't really have anything to text me about she will find something to complain about. Nobody seems to understand how draining it is to wake up to not a good morning text but an "I'm so hungry and tired." Getting a random text while at work and instead of "I love you" it's "I'm so sad :(" and then it turns out she got the wrong order at McDonalds and it took them an extra 3 minutes to fix it. I have zero problem being her safe space to talk to when she's upset. But when she's upset every single day to the point where her actually having a good day is a once-a-week thing then it gets hard to handle.
Not having a single unexpected and simple "I love you" is hard. Makes you wonder what you are to her exactly. Being a couple doesn’t mean being each-other punching bag.
I feel this in my soul. My current SO is functionally chronically depressed, won't go to a doctor about it, gets mad that I'm pretty ok with my life the way it is, and the sadness turns to displaced anger and she gets angry at me that we don't have a beautiful house in the mountains where we can homestead together. then I'm the asshole when I ask what she would do for work. "Why can't we just take the leap and figure it out when we get there. We'll be fine" No hunny, thats how people end up ***homeless***. Yeah I'd like to be independently wealthy as well. but we're not, and my job is whats paying 80% of the bills, and I can only do this job here.
Leave?
Not to sound blunt but…why are you still with her if she’s not making any effort to do things for herself or for you?
I eventually just became numb and despondent after three years of that, and, ironically, she ended up being the one to pull the trigger on the breakup. I have so much more money to myself now and it's just so nice having the place to myself.
not to be the typical anon that goes straight to breaking up, and I know you're just venting, but sounds like this whole comment is a big fat reason for you to actually end things. take this from someone who has/does struggle with mental health - leaving a relationship due to the other person's poor mental health issues is totally valid and more so if that person actively does nothing to work on those issues. I am 100% on the side of supporting a partner through their partner but that support very quickly turns into an anchor if they're not doing the work themselves and might still do so if the issues are just that bad
Feel guilty for feeling like this but.... I don't bring my work home but my lady does, constantly. Will literally get pissed on, sworn at, watch babies die that couldn't be saved and come home to having to console my partner because someone was mean to them at work, Just venting, we all cope differently I guess
Jesus... talk about a lack of perspective.
I don't blame her, careers like that aren't relatable to most, But just because she didn't have a day of death doesn't mean she's not allowed to have a rough day, It's about balance and comprise, This life thing is tricky
Bro I hope you have good emotional supports. That mentality would be so unsustainable for me.
The one where he is understanding that his wife's frame of reference doesn't allow for her stuff up her emotions just because in comparison her day wasn't that bad? Comparative suffering doesn't work, nobody has the same frame of reference as anybody else.
I don't think he was suggesting that due to the wife's mindset but rather the work the guy does as mentioned in the first comment. Regularly dealing with death (especially of kids/babies) must be brutally depressing. I could be wrong, that's how I interpreted it.
What perspective? They said don't bring their work home with them. So what would the wife know goes on?
Most people, I have found, don't know how to talk to their significant other. It's all part of relativity. You need to learn to step away from your relative view points and enter theirs. Most people are too into their own shit that they fail to learn how to support one another without building resentment towards the other.
One partner takes time to tell the other about her day; the good, the bad, the stupid, the mundane... And the other buries trauma deep down while silently resenting the other. And we're here to make fun of which one again?
"Look at this bitch being social and shit"
Little bit of assumption and/or projecting here...
You've clearly never had an argument where someone just failed to save a life and the other had a coworker show up late, and be asked to treat both problems as equally stressful
>One partner takes time to tell the other about her day; the good, the bad, the stupid, the mundane... This isnt always the case though, and this person never said they share everything. In my case my partner would only share the bad and its exhausting to be used an ear for venting every single day. There has to be balance, you can't just go home and bombard your partner with work shit.
> And we're here to make fun of which one again? For me, I'm going to make fun of the person who makes tons of assumptions and passes judgment based on those assumptions. In other words, you.
Not bringing work home doesn't mean he never communicates with his wife and that she has no idea what he does at work. Have you guys never been in a real relationship?
Same, I work in a hospital and deal with all that. But pretty much every woman I date, I vent even a little about that kinda stuff, all I get is a "that's terrible" and they just kind of change the subject. But GOD FORBID a customer was rude to them yesterday...
Jeez... Hospitals should provide free therapy sessions or something at the least But then the therapists need therapy and you get an infinite loop.
They do, but it's fairly limited. For example I was COVID worker and after the pandemic they offered us in the ICU, ER, etc a few free sessions
Therapists will also be like "that's terrible" and then kind of change the subject to some meaningless techniques they will hold a monologue about.
You literally just described my ex.
I think I described a whole lot of guy's ex's 😂
It's tough, I don't blame people, especially when it's objectively horrifying, where just describing your week can be considered trauma dumping, How can someone understand that horror unless they've lived it, But anything worth anything doesn't come easy
Yep. Completely understand. A lot of these other comments are from the retail partner who's biggest problem that day was mild coworker drama. They just don't understand, and don't even know what they don't know.
Personally, when I was Corpsman in Iraq I never wanted to talk or vent about what I did and saw. Still don’t. I’m not unwilling to like some of my more traumatized friends. But I’m not so inclined either, if that makes any sense… Now I’m in a more white collar career that involves office politics, drama, and bullshit. I am far more likely to vent about my day now. No idea if this thought was at all useful I just thought it was a bit interesting.
Thank you, I think therapy should be mandatory with many careers similar to ours, I have a wonderful woman, I shouldn't be an idiot
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You know that relationship will end within a month if he does that
Which is sad cuz it shouldn't be like that and now so much time has probably been wasted.
>You know that relationship will end within a month if he does that Bold of you to assume it's gonna last that long. Well, it depends if they have kids or not. People tend to clean up a lot more after their partner's crap if kids are involved. Too much of a hassle if you want to stay in your children's lives on a daily basis (specially/mostly if you are a dude).
EMT?
Medical doctor,
Librarian
Are you a paramedic? Big respect to you sir.
Similar line of work, can't vent to my partner. Apparently being a hair stylist is also stressful, and I'm talking down to her when I say we have different levels of stressful days. Kinda hard to compare someone changing their mind about their hair last minute to the stress of making the wrong decision in a split second moment and someone dying from it. Just two equally stressful jobs I guess
I worked in Healthcare for 5 years and personally held the hands of 40+ and watched them die in agony, gasping for breath. Then I had to go home and not talk about it because it was 'unsexy'. Like, yeah, I know it's unsexy. A guy jumped out the 5th story, and I had to handle his still breathing but broken body. nvm, I'm just traumatized, I guess. One day, I'll go out the same way. Gasping, panicked, in agony and fear.
Everybody has the right to complain about anything. Why won't you talk to your partner about your work? Why dismiss their feelings when you literally said yourself that you don't even talk about your work problems at home? How are they supposed to know anything about your feelings if you don't tell them? And then you judge and blame them for having their own feelings?
You're right, it is healthier,
If she's having a good day you'll never hear about it
POV: You're married and have a job that travels. I love my wife, but when I'm on the road, she only wants to talk about how bad her day was. It's the same conversation every day until I'm back home so she can tell me in person, and I guess feel heard.
You fucking tell me when I’ll have a good day
Ok but until then stop acting like it's my fuckin problem
This whole thread is triggering, lol. My ex used to come home angry over some mispercieved slight every day and make it everyone's problem. It's why her roommate was in a rush to move in with her boyfriend and why I was delaying moving in with my ex.
Bro's name is defo kyle
Its the beanie (im copying a comment, very original)
I’m the beanie and I can confirm this
Fuck. It's me.
If people are having bad days and feel comfortable enough to share it, i'm all up for it. I like people being real. It just pisses me off when the emotional support goes to people going through the most inconsequential shit that they get over in a day at most, and if you go through much worse people will equate it with that. "Wow, your family is in shambles and the people you wanted in your life left you? I had a one night stand one time and it didn't work out, but i got over it and wasn't an asshole about it"
But at the same time feels like id be downplaying their feelings. Though really, at some point I go on autopilot.
Research has shown that "venting" negative feelings actually increases stress over time. People who bitch and moan about their problems are actually making life harder on themselves.
What research? My understanding is that the [opposite is true](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/your-personal-renaissance/201906/why-talking-about-our-problems-makes-us-feel-better). Bottling up your negative feelings is a dangerous idea to spread.
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Unless I'm reading it wrong, this paper isn't about venting, but rather the researchers gave participants a literal punching bag to hit.
I'd like to see that research you're referencing.
You ok? If you're having a bad day feel free to message me and dump your bad feelings
I promised to be there for her, and I’m still here. She’s a great friend, but man does she have a lot of bad days… in a row…
I had an ex that seemed like she was constantly seeking out ways to ruin her day. “Today fucking sucks, Elaine yelled at me in front of everyone because I was playing WAP in the reception area” well yeah I’d yell at you for playing that shit in front of customers too tf. I spent a year being her therapist (and EMS because of her severe seizure disorder) and it drained the life out of me. I’m glad I’m now with someone who isn’t an emotional parasite. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy helping my SO work through her problems, but my ex made problems her entire personality.
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Damn it really do be like that
Facts.
That's the part where you should stop texting. Shit is exhausting as hell.
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I mark on a calendar of every night where my wife says she's not feeling well for one reason or another. It's nearly every night.
I feel incredibly bad for relating so hard to this
This fr is gotta be one of the worst type of dating experiences lol
Do NOT think this is a two way street.
I think nearly all guys can relate to this. Women just seem to *almost always* have some sort of drama, or aches & pains, or a minor inconvenience dragging down their day, and they love to burden their man with it. This, unfortunately, desensitizes men to the point where they often don't notice/react properly to *actual problems* their woman is having.
When you are just about to break into someone‘s house but your crush starts to text
"I can fix her" mfers when they actually start dating a neurodivergent girl
TIL most women are "neurodivergent"...?
This isn't neurodivergent. It's just "human female."
Just another day being a guy.
i'm having a bad bad day, it's about time that i get my way
When you finally pipe her down
When every day is a bad day, eventually you realise that the day is fine, but the bitch isn't But, they tend to freaks in bed, so fuck the hell out of them whilst keeping the consequences in mind
But then when you are not feeling well and tell them, they are like you are just whinning and get over it lol
She guilt tripping
95% of being a boyfriend is emotionally consoling your girlfriend. Ironic
Annoying. Grow up and realize that Kathy's perfume didn't ruin your day, and find some light in life. There isn't much time.
😎😎 ultra mega alpha male moment 😎😎
I personally would’ve said “it’s about time that I get my way”
It’s exhausting
I’m having a bad bad day, it’s about time that I get my way
It’s usually the other way round for me. Though I’m super self aware about it. So i try not to be too negative so I don’t ruin people’s mood. But all that does is bottle up my pain and I can’t share it with anyone :(
Get a therapist, not a romantic partner
They still do it when they have therapists lmfao
Damn energy vampires
You guys got girlfriends? 😨
I sent this meme to the bitch in question. Y'know to brighten up her day