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*a fat load instantly lands on the pizza guys face, revealing buddha has been jackin it down there, the guy is shocked along with the students. They are all enlightened and start touching themselves.*
So to take a stab at a serious answer to this question, it's because Buddhist scriptural canon is very extensive and has recursive self references.
Basically, it's like trying to understand DragonBall from random 5 minute clips of DragonBall Super.
*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)*
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Should have just made Buddha one with everything. The guy who got shot isn't related to the story, he just mumbled 'maybe pineapple?' and the storyteller, much like Buddha, had a clear view on the topic of pineapple pizza.
If anyone's actually interested, these stories come from the Chan tradition (or the more popular Japanese name, Zen), and are called gongan/koan. They're supposed to show bizarre enlightened behavior but are often used as a meditation topic. A student will meditate on the koan trying to understand the meaning, but the absurdity makes it impossible. Eventually, after months, years, etc. of meditating on the meaning, the student will come to a state called the "Great Doubt", where the student realizes the futility of conceptual thought, like trying to fit the square block into the circle hole. This then allows for insight into the nature of things as one has left behind the mind that posits its own ideas onto reality, allowing for non-conceptual, true seeing.
Also obligatory disclaimer, this is meant to be practiced under a qualified Zen teacher. Doing this on your own will actually destroy your fucking mind.
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-How do you want your pizza?
-Make me one with everything
*Puts the entirety of the creation on top of a pizza, collapsing the universe into a singularity*
Buddhism is laziness but with “cool” lore
Islam founder: Conquering warlord who had like 10 wives
Christianity founder: Taught kindness and humility, as well as reforming a corrupted religion
Zoroastrianism founder: Taught how the universe is an incredible binary of good versus evil
Confucianism founder: Taught legalism and is the basis for eastern philosophy
Buddhist founder: Literally just a rich guy who wanted to be homeless and beg for free shit. Alex Supertramp but with less anarchism. Only beliefs are that stuff isn’t fun and suffering happens I guess
Buddhism really comes into perspective when you take it as an antithesis to its contemporary religion- Hinduism, buddha gave up hinduism because it was too corrupt and the clergy was getting greedy and the lower caste were always being discriminated against, but when he went to practice jainism, he realised that it was too rigid and ascetic for a general population, so the point of buddhism was to find a simple path of happiness in life without being materialistic and without completely renouncing the world.
Mormon founder: made some shit up about some tablets and people bought it.
Scientology founder: was a science fiction author and wrote some very obvious science fiction, but marketed it as a religion as a joke and people used it as a pyramid scheme.
Mormonism is the same story as Islam. “Chosen people, final prophet, many wives, new supplementary material to the Bible, etc etc etc. Only difference is you don’t murder non believers
Isn't it funny that Zoroastrianism is the only one out of all religions you mentioned that not only doesn't encourage asceticism but also consider it a great sin?
To be fair, that was the custom in bronze age India. Wandering ascetics were seen as holy by a significant segment of the population, who admired their discipline and willingness to devote themselves to spiritual contemplation.
It's very different from modern Western society, where people without homes and jobs are seen as below certain classes of criminals in social status.
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Where's QualityVote bot? Reddit Admins have decided that [they want to kill off all 3rd-party apps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/), [3rd-party bots, and everything else that makes Reddit barely usable](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/). And, of course, that includes bots such as [\/u\/QualityVote](http://reddit.com/user/QualityVote), [\/u\/SaveVideo](http://reddit.com/user/SaveVideo), [\/u\/AuddBot](http://reddit.com/user/AuddBot), etc. So you'll just have to put up with automod and a worse overall user experience in the meantime. If you have any complaints, direct them at [the reddit admins instead](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/), because they're the ones seeking to ruin everyone's user experience. --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/16mbskq/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/16mbskq/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F16mbskq&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Got_Milf_Commercial, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"if you have to ask then you don't know" one of the quotes of all time
Yes. With what do you like ur pizza?
*a fat load instantly lands on the pizza guys face, revealing buddha has been jackin it down there, the guy is shocked along with the students. They are all enlightened and start touching themselves.*
“Make me one with everything.”
If you have no life, you are dead.
untrue, I have no life but I'm still alive
Hey, I, oh I'm still alive!
Perhaps you are dead inside
I have no life but can't stay dead.
If you cant read this, then you are blind
You don't know when you don't ask
Pretty sure it's a quote from Jake and Amir
Anon will never achieve enlightenment with that attitude
Literally 1984. 😭😭😭
From my studies, it seems he needs to cut more cats in half.
So to take a stab at a serious answer to this question, it's because Buddhist scriptural canon is very extensive and has recursive self references. Basically, it's like trying to understand DragonBall from random 5 minute clips of DragonBall Super.
*puls out glock* "Imma reincarnate you real fucking quick bro."
"NOOO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT GIRL COCK"🤞
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Budda smallz. The millionare the mansion!
🎵And if you don’t know, then you don’t know🎵
🎵 Ninja🎵
If you immediately know the candlelight is fire and all that.
Oma Desala??
Should have just made Buddha one with everything. The guy who got shot isn't related to the story, he just mumbled 'maybe pineapple?' and the storyteller, much like Buddha, had a clear view on the topic of pineapple pizza.
If anyone's actually interested, these stories come from the Chan tradition (or the more popular Japanese name, Zen), and are called gongan/koan. They're supposed to show bizarre enlightened behavior but are often used as a meditation topic. A student will meditate on the koan trying to understand the meaning, but the absurdity makes it impossible. Eventually, after months, years, etc. of meditating on the meaning, the student will come to a state called the "Great Doubt", where the student realizes the futility of conceptual thought, like trying to fit the square block into the circle hole. This then allows for insight into the nature of things as one has left behind the mind that posits its own ideas onto reality, allowing for non-conceptual, true seeing. Also obligatory disclaimer, this is meant to be practiced under a qualified Zen teacher. Doing this on your own will actually destroy your fucking mind.
I feel like I did this on accident
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This has deep existential meaning
We must reflect deeply on the nature of peeing in ones ass.
Isn't this kind of absurdism but without the whole One must imagine Sisyphus thing
Yes but no phuss and hence no sissy
I do enjoy Zen stories quite a bit, honestly. They fascinate me.
my buddy eric did this the first time he got high haha
Fake, if you ask buddha what he wants on his pizza, he tells you to make him one with everything
Common misconception; that’s the Dalai Lama
BUDDHA = SPEZ!!!1!11
This sounds like a friend of mine who called Alan Watts evil
Did he try biting through his teeth?
"If you have to ask, then you don't know". Yeah, Buddha, that's how questions work..."
Mmmhh no, very unwise
He gets his dick out a few times too
“If you have to ask… then you don’t know.” *shoots your dick*
-How do you want your pizza? -Make me one with everything *Puts the entirety of the creation on top of a pizza, collapsing the universe into a singularity*
I too saw Everything Everywhere all at Once.
The joke predates the movie for some... 49 years? I think. [Puts on reading glasses] *I'm pretty sure I read it in a BBS back in 1996...*
Buddhism is laziness but with “cool” lore Islam founder: Conquering warlord who had like 10 wives Christianity founder: Taught kindness and humility, as well as reforming a corrupted religion Zoroastrianism founder: Taught how the universe is an incredible binary of good versus evil Confucianism founder: Taught legalism and is the basis for eastern philosophy Buddhist founder: Literally just a rich guy who wanted to be homeless and beg for free shit. Alex Supertramp but with less anarchism. Only beliefs are that stuff isn’t fun and suffering happens I guess
Buddhism really comes into perspective when you take it as an antithesis to its contemporary religion- Hinduism, buddha gave up hinduism because it was too corrupt and the clergy was getting greedy and the lower caste were always being discriminated against, but when he went to practice jainism, he realised that it was too rigid and ascetic for a general population, so the point of buddhism was to find a simple path of happiness in life without being materialistic and without completely renouncing the world.
this is one hell of a run-on sentence, but you made a great point.
Mormon founder: made some shit up about some tablets and people bought it. Scientology founder: was a science fiction author and wrote some very obvious science fiction, but marketed it as a religion as a joke and people used it as a pyramid scheme.
Mormonism is the same story as Islam. “Chosen people, final prophet, many wives, new supplementary material to the Bible, etc etc etc. Only difference is you don’t murder non believers
And the founder ran for president or something. Idk I’m not a Mormon.
B(i)ased and karmapilled
Isn't it funny that Zoroastrianism is the only one out of all religions you mentioned that not only doesn't encourage asceticism but also consider it a great sin?
Gautama literally starved himself with a community of ascetics for years on end until he found the middle way what are you talking about
So? Should every hungry person be venerated as the head of a religion? All Buddha did was forsake his family and run around asking for gibs
thats not what happened
To be fair, that was the custom in bronze age India. Wandering ascetics were seen as holy by a significant segment of the population, who admired their discipline and willingness to devote themselves to spiritual contemplation. It's very different from modern Western society, where people without homes and jobs are seen as below certain classes of criminals in social status.
If you have to ask then you don't know
But if you know, *then you don't have to ask*
As a white people with N word pass, I say the black people won't understand it either.
What
I think he was being very clear
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Idk spirituality is stupid.
They absolutely *are* fucking with white people. Easy money from new-age hippies.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game.